American mom living in Germany dispels myths about living overseas
Living abroad is something that many folks dream of, even if only for a brief period of time.
Platz der Republik, Berlin, Germany.
Living abroad is something that many folks dream of, even if only for a brief period of time. There are college programs specifically for people who want to study abroad to gain worldly experience, but some people want to live in other countries for reasons other than studying and actually make the leap. In America we’re taught from a fairly young age that America is the best country in the world, and everyone wants to live here, but some people who have lived in other countries are challenging that notion. Aly is a mom who emigrated to Germany nearly three years ago after giving up her job as a professor only months away from making tenure, and she has no regrets.
Aly runs the TikTok account USA Mom in Germany where she educates her followers on some of the major differences between living in the U.S. and living in Germany. She explains in one video how in America she experienced homelessness and food insecurity as a single mother, and makes TikToks to “combat U.S. propaganda.” She goes on to say in the video that “the only way that things are going to change in the U.S. is if people understand that there are different countries, governments, and social systems that work better.”
In her videos she answers questions asked by followers, but also addresses other comparisons, such as the difference in the cost of daycare. In a video that has more than 180,000 likes, she shares the bill she received from her daughter’s daycare, which shows the breakdown for the year. Aly doesn’t talk in the video, but her comment section is filled with shocked reactions at the realization that she only pays $1,856 a year for childcare. One commenter said “not me thinking this was monthly and it sounding right,” complete with an uncomfortably smiling sweat bead emoji. People were in disbelief that her childcare broke down to less than $160 a month, with another person who lives in Germany stating they still felt like the cost Aly pays is too high.
Even baby formula costs a vastly different amount between the two countries. The mom shows a box of formula that in the United States would generally cost about $25, but in Germany the same amount of formula of the best brand you can buy costs the equivalent of $6. Aly doesn’t stop at baby stuff and cost comparisons, she even combats the difference in history being taught in both countries, and shares that German students in grades 11 through 13 learn about current U.S. propaganda that includes U.S. exceptionalism and the American dream, according to excerpts shared by the former professor. The book “The American Dream in the 21st Century: Continuity and Change” by Peter Bruck is the textbook used to teach these high schoolers about the U.S. and, according to Aly, if you search the name of the book with the word “arbitur” behind it, worksheets and study guides will pop up.
@usa.mom.in.germany USA 🇺🇸 propaganda in Germany 🇩🇪 #livingingermany #germanyvsusa #teachersoftiktok #americandream
Learning how the U.S. is viewed from the outside is an interesting journey, and Aly makes it her mission to not only dispel the narrative that she believed when moving to Germany, but the beliefs of her followers. The mom of three is currently studying German, and has no plans to return to the United States due to many of the reasons she outlines in her videos, including not having to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to send her children to college and feelings of safety while her children are in school. Aly doesn’t paint the U.S. as all bad, but for her, the benefits of living abroad outweigh those of her experience of living in America.
- British people share what they find odd about Americans - Upworthy ›
- American Teacher in Denmark Explains the Differences of Working ... ›
- He went to the ER in Taiwan, then his "Horrors of Socialized ... ›
- 33-year-old American expat shares how he lives a lavish life in Bali on less than $75 a day - Upworthy ›
- He went to the ER in Taiwan, then his "Horrors of Socialized Medicine" post went viral. - Upworthy ›
- Germany's most famous castle isn't a real castle - Upworthy ›
- Couple leaves the U.S. for Spain - Upworthy ›
Our mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by 
You can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by 
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.