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Woman on dinner date slipped mysterious note with a warning from two women sitting behind her

"We don’t pass notes unless we are warning you."

via Canva/Photos

A man and woman enjoying a nice night out.

Lindsay, a TikTok user named @CuteasCluck, recently found herself in a real conundrum while on a date at a restaurant. She was on her third date with a man she had previously met on Facetime and then went to dinner with. Now, while enjoying drinks after watching a sporting event, things were getting a little serious.

When Lindsay got up to go to the bathroom, she was approached by 2 women in their early 20s sitting directly behind her at the restaurant, who had got a good look at her date. “My hair was behind my back most of the time," Lindsay said. "So she like grabs my hair and is like, ‘oh my God. Your hair is so pretty, you’re so beautiful, I just had to stop you.'" While the woman was complimenting her, she handed her a crudely folded-up note. “‘I just wanted to give you this,’” the woman said.

WARNING: Video containsstrong language.

@cuteascluck

Overthinkers Anonymous member

Lindsay partially opened the note, and it read, “Just no!” A few words were scribbled beside it that she didn't have time to read before her date noticed. When she got to the bathroom, she read the remaining part of the note, which said, “You can do better.” When she returned to the table, her date asked her about the letter, and she brushed it off. But she couldn’t focus for the rest of the date because the note raised many questions.

Did he do something when I went off to the bathroom? Do they know him from around town? Could it be his age? She wondered to himself.

She asked her followers on TikTok for advice, and many made the same point: When a woman hands another woman a note at a bar, take it seriously. “We don’t pass notes unless we are warning you,” one of the top commenters wrote. “Any girl giving me a note secretly on a date, I’m gonna believe the girl. She felt compelled enough to get involved which means it’s something,” another added. “Gir,l it means no. It also means the details were probably going to heavily offend you,” another wrote.

In a follow-up video, Lindsay said that after dinner, she received a series of drunken texts from her date that sounded like a sales pitch, saying things like: "I think we're going to be together, facts are facts," and "Any girl that is going to miss out on me, she's going to miss out. She needs to jump on this right now," and called her "jaded." The next day, he apologized and noted that he didn't know the girl who passed the note but said, "She must somehow know my ex or something."

@cuteascluck

Replying to @~♡MimiJulee♡~ #greenscreen I asked him about the note😱😱

The commenters on the video thought the red flags were now piling up. “Sales pitchy drunk texts after date two are reason enough for you to run and not look back,” a commenter wrote. “Too many red flags this soon,” another added.

In the final video of the series — unless the women who handed the note come forward — Lindsay says that she ended things with the man she was dating after receiving the drunk texts. Coupled with the warning on the note, it was enough for her to believe the guy was bad news. Ultimately, although Linday may never know why the woman gave her the note, it served a very important purpose: her date’s reaction to it exposed him as being unhinged and agressive. It's terrific that Lindsay could realize this before things got too serious.

@cuteascluck

Friendly reminder to those who know I’m a rambler, 2x speed 💁🏻‍♀️🥰




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Identity

A man grossly misjudged how to speak to girls and got expertly handled by a Girl Scout

"No. Walk away."

Somewhere in Salt Lake City, a Girl Scout is getting allll the good mojo from The People of the Internet.

Over one weekend in March in 2020, Eli McCann shared a story of an encounter at a Girl Scout cookie stand that has people punching the air and shouting, YES! THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE. (Or maybe that's just me. But I'm guessing most of the 430,000 people who liked his story had a similar reaction.)

"I just saw the most wild thing!" McCann wrote on X (formerly Twitter). "A man started walking toward the Girl Scouts cookie stand in front of the grocery store and he yelled 'My bitches are BACK' and this Girl Scout just yelled 'No. Walk away.' AND HE DID."

So simple. So straightforward. But it gets even better.

McCann wrote out the full story on his blog, It Just Gets Stranger, offering some extra details to his tweets.

"It was truly jarring," he wrote of the man's exclamation. "Like, it was sort of the last thing I expected anyone to say. My mind suddenly rebooted. The six or so other people who were all standing around in front of the grocery store froze and looked at him. I opened my mouth to say something, but then really didn't know what to say."

"It was unclear who he was calling 'bitches,'" he continued. "If it was the Girl Scouts, well obviously that was terrible. If it was the cookies, I mean that's kind of funny (don't @ me), but totally inappropriate to say to a bunch of 12 year olds (is that how old Girl Scouts are?). Either way, he shouldn't have said it and I don't know what could have possibly made him think this was a fine way to approach a group of Girl Scouts."

McCann said the girl's response was immediate, and it floored everyone. "Her tone was so full of confidence and sass," he wrote. "It was the most perfectly delivered line I have ever heard."

"This dude completely froze. He just stopped walking. His face went bright red. His mouth was sort of gaping open. He did this very awkward and stilted nod, almost apologetic, abruptly turned around, and shuffled back to his car at like 6-minute-mile pace. The girl just death stared him all the way through his walk of shame."

McCann says it took him a bit to digest what he'd just seen.

"I ended up walking into the store and the entire time I was shopping I was just trying to process what had happened. I kept replaying it over and over and wondering if I had misheard or misunderstood something," he wrote.


"Who was this guy? Did he just make the biggest miscalculation of his life? Is he going to move away and start a new life now? Is that girl going to be president one day? Can I adopt her? Can she adopt me? Can I start a cult to follow her?"


As he was leaving the store, he went up to the girl to compliment her—then got another perfectly delivered line from the intrepid Girl Scout.

"Two adult women were standing behind the girl (the troop leaders, I assume)," he wrote. "I said to the girl, 'I saw how you handled that man earlier. That was really really impressive. Your troop is pretty lucky to have you.'"

"And this girl. This Goddess of a human. The one I'm for sure going to worship if ever she starts a religion. Without stuttering. With perfect comedic timing. She responded:

'You gotta be pretty tough if you're gonna go out in THIS outfit.'"

OMG.

Let's all give this girl a virtual high five for her gumption and wit. It takes a lot of courage to say something to an adult when you're a kid, especially a man who is doing something inappropriate. The fact that she seemed to have been perfectly prepared for that moment, shutting him down so immediately and decisively that everyone in the vicinity stopped to take note, is so dang impressive.

This is what happens when you teach girls their true worth and encourage them not to accept anything less than respect and dignity. Gotta love it.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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Identity

The note said she didn't deserve her promotion. Here's her mic-drop response.

From a girl who went to MIT anyway.

This story first appeared on the author's Medium and is reprinted here with permission.

Because you're a girl.

I was promoted a few weeks ago, which was great. I got a lot of nice notes from friends, family, customers, partners, and random strangers, which was exciting.

But it wasn't long until a note came in saying, “Everyone knows you got the position because you're a girl." In spite of having a great week at a great company with great people whom I love, that still stung, because it's not the first time I've heard it.

Every woman who works in tech—heck, likely every woman on Earth—hears “because you're a girl" dozens, if not thousands, of times in her life.

It starts young, of course:

Why can't I join that team? Because you're a girl.

Why can't I study physics? Because you're a girl.

Then, the comments age with you.

Why can't I manage that project? Because you're a girl.

Why can't I join that group? Because you're a girl.

And after you've reached any level of attainment in a profession you love, the comments are used to minimize your success.

Why did you get that award? Because you're a girl.

Why were you chosen to participate in that class? Because you're a girl.

Like so many women before me, I have shaken off the comment.

I've gotten angry. I've gotten sad. I've doubted myself and my abilities. I've ignored it entirely. I've challenged it. I've recruited support from men and women I respect. Yet every time it stays there in the back of my mind, screaming for attention after every failure or setback.

But today is the day I've decided to change that.

I did, in fact, get the job because I'm a girl.

A girl who was called "bossy" growing up.

A girl who wasn't afraid to play with the boys.

A girl who didn't hesitate to raise her hand if she knew the answer.

A girl who stood up for other kids.

A girl who was always the first one to volleyball practice and the last to leave.

A girl who was told she was too assertive and aggressive to advance in her career.

A girl who went to MIT anyway.

A girl who asked her company to do more on diversity and inclusion and won't stop pushing until it's truly remarkable.

A girl who has made big mistakes, both personal and professional.

A girl who swings for the fences even when no one is watching.

A girl who puts in hours when other people are asleep

A girl who tells young girls how smart and strong they are.

A girl who hates to lose.

And a girl who won't stand silently while people still use “because you're a girl" as any limitation for girls who want to grow, challenge the status quo, and be something, anything, greater than society tells them they could or should.

So yeah. I guess you could say I got my job because I'm a girl, but not for any of the reasons you might think.

This story first appeared on the author's Medium and is reprinted here with permission.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.

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Sweeping UN study finds that 9 out of 10 people worldwide are biased against women

In other words, 9 out of 10 people worldwide—both men and women—are biased against women in vital areas that impact the world in major ways.

Photo by Joe Gardner on Unsplash

It's easy to feel unseen.

In 2020, the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) released the Gender Social Norms Index , which offers a look at gender equality as measured by people's personal gender bias. The data, which was collected from 75 countries covering 81% of the world's population, found that 91% of men and 86% of women show at least one clear bias against women in the areas of politics, economics, education, and physical integrity.

In other words, 9 out of 10 people worldwide—both men and women—are biased against women in vital areas that impact the world in major ways. Splendid.

It would be easy to assume that these numbers are skewed by countries where women are blatantly oppressed, and that is somewhat true. However, a majority was found to hold no gender biases in just six of the 75 countries studied—and no, the U.S. was not among them. Nope, not Canada either.

Andorra, Australia, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, and Sweden were the only countries where a majority of people showed no clear gender bias. (Andorra came on way on top, with 73% of its population showing no bias—the only country to top 70%. Go Andorra.)

Where did the U.S. and Canada stand? According to the study, 43% of Americans hold no gender bias while Canada clocks in at 48%. Basically, if you're sitting in a stadium full of people as a woman in North America, half of the people you're looking at likely harbor some kind of clear bias against you. Same goes if you're a woman competing in a sport, giving a talk at a conference, or—ahem—running for public office.

Perhaps the most unnerving stats from the report are these:

- About 50% people—both men and women—think men make better political leaders than women

- About 40% of people think men make better business leaders than women

- Close to 50% of men believe that men have more right to a job than women

- About 30% believe that it's justifiable for a man to beat his intimate partner

Ummm, that last one? Holy moly.

two women sitting on beach facing ocean sunset

Being a women can feel isolating.

Photo by Briana Tozour on Unsplash

What's just as concerning is that despite decades of progress on women's rights, bias against women is increasing in some countries among both men and women. And this is the case even among some countries that scored well on the index. Bias in top-six country Sweden, for example, actually increased over the nine years the study covered.

"The share of both women and men worldwide with moderate to intense gender biases grew from 57 percent to 60 percent for women and from 70 percent to 71 percent for men," the report states, adding: "Surveys have shown that younger men may be even less committed to equality than their elders."

That last part is worth repeating. Evidence points to young men being less committed to gender equality than older generations. That is not good news for the future, folks.

Of course, we have made big strides across the globe in terms of increasing access to education, improving healthcare for women, and other areas. But women still don't have a place at most of the decision-making tables, and we obviously still have social norm hurdles to overcome to achieve true gender equality.

"We have come a long way in recent decades to ensure that women have the same access to life's basic needs as men," said Pedro Conceição, head of UNDP's Human Development Report Office. "We have reached parity in primary school enrollment and reduced maternal mortality by 45 percent since the year 1990. But gender gaps are still all too obvious in other areas, particularly those that challenge power relations and are most influential in actually achieving true equality. Today, the fight about gender equality is a story of bias and prejudices."

Results of the study indicate a backlash to the push for gender equality. Indeed, change is uncomfortable for many people and progress is often a two steps forward, one step back process. For sure, social norms are more complex and challenging to change than laws.

"Policymakers often focus on the tangible—on laws, policies, spending commitments, public statements and so on," the report states. "This is driven partly by the desire to measure impact and by sheer impatience with the slow pace of change. Yet neglecting the invisible power of norms would miss a deeper understanding of social change."

Social norms also directly impact progress made in all areas. Currently, no country in the world is on track to meet the gender equality goals by Sustainable Development Goal target of 2030. With stats like these, that's not shocking.

Clearly, something to keep in mind as we advocate for gender equality is how to effectively address people's core beliefs about women and equality in general. Legal progress without social progress is shaky at best, and true gender equality won't become reality unless people believe that it should.

It appears we have some serious work ahead of us on that front.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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