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  • Empty nesters share their genius, and surprisingly touching, downsizing hack
    Empty nest season comes with a lot of decisions about what to keep.
    ,

    Empty nesters share their genius, and surprisingly touching, downsizing hack

    “All I have to do is look in the eyes of my two girls, and they take me back, every time, to the most beautiful, colorful, emotional scrapbook I could ever dream of having.”

    Annie Reneau

    Upworthy Staff

    The decades parents spent raising children are full, rich, exciting, exhausting, and loud. From babies crying to siblings bickering to the raucous laughter that creates collective memories, the sounds of family life are constant. Your home is full. The laundry never ends. Food gets purchased in bulk.

    Then, one day, you find that the intense family life that took up so much space physically, mentally, and emotionally, dwindles to a strange silence. When the last child moves out, you find yourself swimming in a house full of unused rooms and piles of memories. Suddenly, you don’t need all that space anymore, and you have to figure out what to do with those rooms and those piles of memories.

    For one couple, the process of downsizing their empty nest brought about a reflection on their family life, their relationship with their kids, and their stuff. In 2021, Jimmy Dunne shared that reflection entitled “Downsizing” on Facebook in a viral post that resonated with many people who are at or near this stage in life.

    Here is what he wrote, in his own words

    “My wife Catherine and I recently moved.

    I realized I had something I never knew I had.

    Thirty-four years ago, I carried my wife in my arms over the threshold in our home. Thirty-four years ago. From newlywed days, to witnessing our babies go from little girls to young adults. So many great memories in every inch of every room of our home.

    I didn’t think I was ready to ‘downsize.’ What an awful word. I liked walking through our girls’ bedrooms and still seeing their stuff on the walls and on the shelves. I liked our backyard. I liked imagining our kids coming down the steps every Christmas morning.

    We put it on the market, it sold in a couple days, and suddenly agreements thicker than my leg were instructing me to clear everything I ever had and knew – out.

    Every night I found myself saying goodbye to our backyard, to our garden of roses that Catherine would till and trim, to the sidewalk where the girls drove their Barbie cars and learned to ride their bikes, to our front lawn where we hosted tons of talent shows with all the kids on the block, and the red swing on the front porch.

    We found a condo in town and started lining up our ducks of what we were keeping, and what we were tossing. We vowed, if we’re going to do this, we weren’t putting anything in storage.

    I literally threw out half my stuff. Half. Half of the furniture. Half of my clothes, books. And the big one… way more than half the boxes in the attic.

    The attic was more than an attic. It held our stories. Every thing in every box, every framed picture was a story. After we gave away almost all of the living room furniture, we split the room in half and brought down everything of the girls from the attic and from their rooms. We invited the girls over, handed them a cocktail and said, “There’s good news and bad news. We’ve saved all this stuff; your outfits, drawings, dolls, skates — for you. It’s now yours. The bad news, whatever’s not gone by Friday at 10 in the morning, it’s getting chucked in that giant green dumpster in front of the house.

    The girls thought we were Mr. and Mrs. Satan. But they went through it, and that Friday, most of it went out the front door and right in the dumpster.

    I filled the entire dining room with boxes of all my old stuff. Grade school stories and pictures, report cards, birthday cards, trophies, you name it. Boxes of old plaques and diplomas and just stuff and stuff and stuff like that. How could I throw any of this out? I may as well have been throwing me in the dumpster!

    But this little jerk on my shoulder kept asking — what are your kids going to do with all this a week after you’re six feet under? They’re gonna chuck it all out!

    Here’s the crazy thing. The more I threw stuff in there, the easier it got. And I started to kind of like throwing it up and over in that thing. I started to feel lighter. Better.

    And we moved in a half-the-size condo – and the oddest thing happened.

    It became our home.

    A picture here and there on the wall, Catherine’s favorite pieces of furniture, all her knickknacks in the bathroom. We blinked, and it looked and felt just like us.

    And then I found that thing I never knew I had.

    Enough.

    I had enough.

    The wild thing was that having less – actually opened the door to so much more. More in my personal life. More in my career. More in everything.

    All I have to do is look in the eyes of my two girls — and they take me back, every time, to the most beautiful, colorful, emotional scrapbook I could ever dream of having.

    All I have to do is hold my wife’s hand, and it hypnotizes me back to kissing her for the first time, falling in love with everything she did, seeing her in that hospital room holding our first baby for the first time.

    It sure seems there is so much more to see, and feel, and be — if I have the courage, if I have the will to shape a life that’s just…

    Enough.”

    You can also read Dunne’s reflection on his website.

    Why this post resonated with so many people

    People shared Dunne’s post more than 24,000 times, and it’s easy to see why. He’s speaking a truth we probably all know deep down on some level: Things don’t make a life. Things don’t make relationships. They don’t even make memories, though we tend to hold onto them as if they do. We may associate places and things with memories, but we don’t need the places and things for our memories to live on.

    It’s not hard to notice Dunne’s deep wisdom as the result of a life well-lived. Fortunately for readers everywhere, Dunne compiled his wisdom, including the viral “Downsizing,” into a book that was released in September 2024 by Savio Republic and Post Hill Press, titled Jimmy Dunne Says: 47 Short Stories That Are Sure to Make You Laugh, Cry—and Think. Like his Facebook post, Dunne’s book is filled with heartfelt, thought-provoking reflections that stand to teach readers valuable and relatable lessons. It even got an endorsement from none other than actor Henry Winkler.

    The empty nest years can be whatever you want

    Kudos to Dunne and his wife for looking ahead to what their children would have to go through after they pass if they didn’t go through it now themselves. And kudos to them for truly embracing the freedom that comes with having raised your children to adulthood. The empty nest years can be whatever you choose to make of them, and this couple has figured out a key to making the most of theirs.

    Keep up with the Dunnes on their Instagram, where they share more writing, wisdom, family moments, and sweetest of all, their grandbabies.

    This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

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  • People share 20 everyday things from the 90s and early 2000s that are now considered ‘luxuries’
    Photo credit: Canva Photos – Really should have appreciated some of these things when they were commonplace.
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    People share 20 everyday things from the 90s and early 2000s that are now considered ‘luxuries’

    Remember happy hour specials and real wood furniture?

    Heather Wake

    Upworthy Staff

    Bob Dylan sang that the times are a-changin’ back in 1964, and since then, they haven’t ever stopped a-changin’. And yes, change has been a constant for all of humanity’s existence, but things certainly seem to be progressing a whole heck of a lot faster, don’t they?

    Before ya know it, those once fashion-forward pants you purchased are now retro, you don’t understand any of the slang the kids are spouting, and you’re doing your taxes, grocery planning and work meetings all from your phone. You know, that device that once only…gasp…called people.

    It certainly feels like more than simply growing older, too. Technology is evolving at a rapid pace, to the point where human beings are finally having a hard time keeping up. Combine that with uncertain economic times, and it’s no wonder that some folks are left reminiscing about how, in some (not all or even most, but some) ways, the good old days really were good.

    Reddit had a lot to say about this

    Take for instance this interesting question posed by a user over on Ask Reddit. They asked: “What was normal 20 to 30 years ago but is considered a luxury now?“

    Thousands of people chimed in with fascinating bits of bittersweet nostalgia. Some were monetary — just think that the price of most everyday items has increased 2-3x since the 90s. Other memories were more intangible, based on experiences you just don’t get very often anymore.

    The things people miss most might surprise you

    Here are some of the best answers.

    1. “New furniture made out of real wood.”

    If you regularly traffic in furniture from Target, IKEA, Wayfair, and other relatively affordable places like that, you’ll recognize that furniture these days is more often than not made from particle board or fiber board, not real wood. That makes it convenient and relatively cheap, but not very durable.

    2. “Owning the software you purchased.”

    Remember the days when you just bought Microsoft Office once and were set for years? Today, the SAAS (Software As A Service) model has us paying recurring monthly fees for a million different subscriptions, for things we used to own outright. It’s maddening.

    3. “Paying no more than 30% of your income in rent.”

    One user added: “I lived in poverty housing and this was how they determined our rent. It was 30% of mom’s income, regardless of how much she was making. That was 20 years ago, not sure what starving kids do today.“

    4. “Concert ticket prices.”

    The entire concert-going experience has gotten completely out of hand due to high-tech scalpers and unregulated reseller markets.

    One person added: “17 years ago I spent $30 to see an internationally touring band play a concert, and I thought that was way too high. Now I’m spending minimum $20 to see local bands. Just on admission.”

    The New York Times writes that the average concert ticket for a mainstream show costs a staggering, ridiculous $135.

    5. “Household products that don’t break within the first few years of use.”

    One user wrote: “My grandma had the same fridge from 1993 before deciding to switch to a newer, bigger one two years ago. My mom’s wedding cookware is still going strong 25 years later, but whenever she needs new pans, they start flaking Teflon into the food within a few months.”

    Today, modern refrigerators are only expected to last about 10 years and generally aren’t worth repairing.

    6. “Not being expected to be reachable 24/7.”

    Ah, yes, being completely unreachable was the ultimate luxury. Most of us have actually forgotten what it feels like.

    7. “Being able to afford going out every Friday after work.”

    Remember happy hour specials? Dollar beer nights? It was easy to go out with friends or colleagues when a single beer didn’t cost $11 with tip.

    8. “Farmer’s markets.”

    “You used to be able to go down and get fruit and vegetables cheaper than the grocery store. Now it seems like they charge 3x more than stores do,” one user noted.

    9. “Single income families buying a home.”

    Another user read everyone’s mind by adding: “Buying a home in general”

    If you thought inflation on everything else was bad, housing prices might be the worst of all. They’ve ballooned far faster than salaries have, putting owning a home completely out of reach for many young people.

    10. “Good quality fabric in clothing.”

    “I have clothes from the 90s (and 80s from my mother) that still hold up today. These days, I’m lucky if my shirt isn’t saggy and misshapen within a year,” one user wrote.

    Fast-fashion is everywhere now! Like appliances, our clothes used to be built to last.

    11. “Items not requiring a subscription each month.”

    I’d love to see the average bank or credit card statement from the 90s. It must have been stunningly simple without a dozen recurring charges, from iCloud storage to Netflix.

    12. “Legroom on an airplane.”

    You’re not crazy. Flying used to be more comfortable. Planes have given up about 1-2 inches of legroom over the years, making passengers cramped and grumpy.

    The days when legroom was free. Photo credit: Canva

    13. “Free driver’s education classes taught in all high schools.”

    Private driver’s ed can cost anywhere from $500-1000 where it used to be much more commonly provided for free. Shouldn’t giving the next generation of drivers thorough safety training be considered a public necessity?

    14 . “Family vacations.”

    “I remember going on road trips regularly as a kid and even flying once or twice. Now that I have kids, I cannot afford a weeklong trip to the Badlands, Grand Canyon, Disney/Universal Studios, etc. The best I can do is a day trip to the Wisconsin Dells maybe once a year,” one user wrote.

    15. “Apartments.”

    “I could get a one-bedroom apartment in Wisconsin back in 1997 for under $500. Now that same apartment is at least $2,000.”

    Apartments are supposed to be the affordable thing! What happened?!

    16. “Affordable healthcare.”

    Even “good” healthcare these days leaves you paying enormous of out-of-pocket expenses. I’m not sure healthcare in America was ever great, but it’s definitely gotten worse.

    17. “People making friends with one another purely because they enjoy their companionship and not because of networking.”

    Hustle culture has really changed the way we think about friends and leisure time.

    18. “Calling a company and getting a person on the other end of the phone.

    Another problem that’s only getting worse with AI! They even have AI instead of people working at drive-thrus now.

    19. “Drinking water from the tap without filters and softeners.”

    More and more people are using home water filters for taste and, more importantly, because they don’t trust the local drinking water. Gee, wonder why?

    20.”Being able to dance and have a good time without having the risk that it will end up being recorded and put on social media.”

    Every time you leave your house you’re at risk of being pranked for TikTok or ending up in one of those life-ruining drunk “street interviews.”

    So what does all of this actually mean?

    The 90s and 2000s were a simpler time. Not everything was better, or even great, but there was something real about it. People were more authentic, things we bought weren’t so cheaply made yet expensive, and your hard-earned dollar went a lot further than it did today. We can’t go back, but it’s sure nice to visit every now and then.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

     

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  • Michael Jordan made a beloved high school staffer’s final wish come true while she lay in hospice
    Photo credit: DiversifyLens/Canva and D. Myles Cullen/Wikimedia Commons – Michael Jordan and a woman in hospice.
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    Michael Jordan made a beloved high school staffer’s final wish come true while she lay in hospice

    Never forget the people who knew you on day 1.

    Tod Perry

    NBA legend Michael Jordan is known as one of the most ruthless competitors ever to step foot on a basketball court. But he also understands that success isn’t everything, and that it all works toward fulfilling a greater life purpose. “To be successful, you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you reach your highest level, you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch,” he once said. 

    Jordan recently showed that he has never forgotten where he came from by reconnecting with Ms. Etta, the transportation coordinator at Emsley A. Laney High School where he graduated 45 years ago. Ms. Etta was a hospice patient at Lower Cape Fear LifeCare in Jordan’s hometown. In her final days, she couldn’t stop talking about Jordan, who was one of her favorite students. Her biggest wish was to hug him one last time.

    Jordan reaches out to a beloved high school teacher in her final days

    Administrators at LifeCare tried to reach out to Jordan, but they never heard back. Then, on May 12th while at home, Wendy, a LifeCare social worker, received a call from an unknown number. It was Jordan: “Is this Ms. Etta?” he asked. Wendy then drove over to Ms. Etta’s bedside, and they set up a video call with Jordan.

    “They laughed, reminisced, picked at each other, and shared a moment that brought tears to everyone in the room,” LifeCare wrote in the caption of an Instagram post showing Ms. Etta and Jordan smiling and talking together. “A memory her family will carry with them forever.”

    High school plays a big role in Jordan’s legend. He graduated from the school in 1981, but as a sophomore in 1979, Jordan was “cut” from the varsity basketball team. Jordan has always said this was the catalyst for his becoming one of the greatest pro athletes the world has ever seen. However, at that time, sophomores rarely played on varsity teams. Jordan was sent to Junior Varsity because the team needed taller players. 

    Michael Jordan, Air Jordan 1984, Michael Jordan 80s, Jordan press conference
    Michael Jordan in 1984. Credit: United Press International/Wikimedia Commons

    Jordan never forgot about his high school days

    Jordan has clearly gotten over the slight, and, in 2019, he donated $1.1 million to Laney as part of an agreed-upon deal between Jordan, the school, and Nike for the 2013 sales of Jordan’s special Laney 5 sneakers. 

    “Mike decided that he wanted to take care of Laney High School,” Laney Athletic Director Fred Lynch said, according to WECT. “With him and his attorneys wanting to make sure that it would go entirely to Laney High School. So, Mike is still the man.” Half of the money went to the athletic department, while the other half was used at the school’s discretion. “It’s a very good thing. It’s a blessing to give that much money to a school,” Laney student Dariius Dutton said. “It means a lot to me because I love Laney, I love my school. And I think it will help a lot.”

    One can have all the success in the world, but without gratitude, it’s as empty as never having achieved anything in the first place. For Jordan to reach out to someone who helped him as a child in their final days shows that, although he may have reached incredible heights as an athlete, he never forgot those who helped him get off the ground.

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  • The psychological trick behind why personality tests like Myers-Briggs always ‘work’
    Photo credit: Canva – So personality tests really tell us about ourselves?
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    The psychological trick behind why personality tests like Myers-Briggs always ‘work’

    It’s called the Barnum effect, named after P.T. Barnum.

    Annie Reneau

    If there’s one thing individuals and Fortune 500 companies have in common, it’s the inability to resist a personality test. Employers have long used tests like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the Enneagram to understand their employees better and build more compatible teams. And people in general seem strangely addicted to quizzes that categorize them by personality type.

    It’s long been known that most personality tests aren’t scientifically sound, but that doesn’t stop people from taking them. Part of the reason is that those tests tell us something about ourselves as individuals while also making us feel like we’re part of a group identity. They seem to help us understand ourselves and one another better, and thus appear to “work.”

    However, as researcher Madelyn Leembruggen explained on SciShow, most personality profiles simply play into a psychological trick we humans easily fall into.

    The Barnum effect and how it works

    “Personality tests and profiles take advantage of a weird psychological tendency that also benefits everything from horoscopes to fortune tellers to Buzzfeed quizzes,” Leembruggen said. It’s called the Barnum effect.

    “The Barnum effect was named after P.T. Barnum, the iconic and problematic showman known for his ability to captivate, and often manipulate, an audience,” she explained. “The Barnum effect is the phenomenon where if you give someone a personality test, they’re pretty likely to believe that the results are true and accurate, regardless of how hard the profile-maker actually tried. There’s something about taking the test itself that makes an audience more likely to believe the end result.”

    Personality tests became popular after WWI, when someone developed an assessment to determine which soldiers might be prone to PTSD. In the decades that followed, personality profiles appeared in popular magazines and psychologists’ offices alike. But researcher and college professor Bertram Forer felt skeptical about their accuracy. He basically said the results weren’t any more specific than saying that a person has opposable thumbs.

    personality test, multiple choice, personality profile
    Personality test example (Photo credit: Canva)

    Professor Forer’s 1949 personality test experiment

    In 1949, he conducted an experiment to test his hypothesis. He gave his Intro to Psychology students a personality questionnaire. Then, he told them he’d analyze the results and create a unique personality profile for each student. When they got their results, they rated them for accuracy. Only one student rated their results below a 4 out of 5, indicating nearly all students felt their results reflected their personality. However, Forer had duped them. He had actually given every student the exact same analysis.

    “Forer made a list of general, vaguely flattering, and universally relatable statements,” Leembruggen explained. “So, why did everyone believe that their list was so perfectly tailored to them? Well, that’s the Barnum effect.”

    Essentially, most personality descriptors in personality profiles are fairly relatable to most people. And when you combine any sense of the trait being positive, most people will see themselves in it.

    The SciShow video gives these statements as examples:

    “You have an analytical mind, though  you also might space out at times.”

    “You pride yourself as an independent thinker, and don’t accept other people’s statements without good proof.”

    “You love variety and tend to rebel against too many restrictions and limitations.”

    “You don’t always reveal all of yourself to others.”

    “You have a great desire for other people to like and admire you.”

    Most people see themselves in some, if not all, of those statements because they’re vague enough to feel true.

    However, 1949 was a long time ago. Haven’t psychologists gotten better at creating real personality profiles?

    personality test, introvert, extrovert
    Many personality tests have binary categories of traits. (Photo credit: Canva)

    How accurate is the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator, though?

    One of the most popular personality tests of the past 50 years is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or MBTI. This test splits people into 16 personality categories based on combinations of eight traits or preferences: Introversion/Extroversion, Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, and Perceiving/Judging. Your “type” would be a combination of four letters, like INTP or ESFJ, with a corresponding description of that personality.

    Many people have taken an MBTI test at work, but is it really accurate?

    “When researchers want to see how well a certain assessment tool, test, or survey actually works, one thing they’ll do is have the same people take the same test multiple times,” Leembruggen said. “If they get the same score each time, we’d say that tool has good test-retest reliability. And in studies of MBTI where participants took the assessment multiple times, up to half or even more test takers received a different result for at least one of the four letters.”

    Accurate or not, people love their Myers-Briggs. However, psychologists prefer a more recent personality indicator known as the Big Five Personality Trait model.  

    What is the Big Five Personality Trait model?

    In the Big Five, people rank as low, medium, or high in five personality dimensions: extroversion, neuroticism, openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness. (A more recent test known as HEXACO includes honesty-humility as a trait.)

    “These tests, and newer variations that include subcategories of these five, do seem to show better test-retest reliability,” Leembruggen shared. “One major reason that newer tests based on the Big Five are more reliable is that they’re based on accumulating data from multiple long-term studies from the 1990s onwards. And they’re rooted in the principle that, if a personality trait exists in humans, languages will adopt words to describe it.”

    However, she notes, most research only includes people from WEIRD countries: Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic. That reality alone makes it hard to extrapolate universal personality traits or types.

    woman on computer, personality test, online quiz
    Many people enjoy taking online personality tests. (Photo credit: Canva)

    The way personality tests are designed is inherently flawed

    Finally, the nature of personality tests with multiple-choice answers, most of which only offer two options, is flawed.

    “When you have to answer every question from a list of predetermined options, it’s called a forced-choice measure,” Leembruggen explained. “These tests are easy to administer and to grade, but the downside is that they’re really rigid and can flatten nuance, including how people’s personality traits can change due to the passage of time and other variables. We’ve all stared at a multiple-choice question and wished there was an option to check ‘other.’ So trying to make a questionnaire-style test that can accurately gauge anybody’s personality might be kind of impossible.”

    That certainly won’t stop a lot of people from taking those tests, though. Accurate or not, there’s something about them that draws us in. Maybe it’s just fun to self-analyze. Maybe we yearn to know ourselves better, and those tests offer a structured and largely harmless way to do that—or at least to feel like we’re doing it.

    You can follow SciShow on YouTube for more research-based learning.

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  • Scientists think humans developed right-handedness thanks to these 2 factors
    Photo credit: Canva – Human skull (left) human hand (right)
    ,

    Scientists think humans developed right-handedness thanks to these 2 factors

    90% of the population is right-handed. Before now, we didn’t really know why.

    Heather Wake

    Since the dawn of man, right-handedness has reigned supreme without much intel as to why. While our ape brethren also develop strong preferences toward one hand over another, there is generally an equal number of left- and right-handed individuals. Conversely, 90% of humans are right-handed. And now, scientists think they have discovered when this prevalence developed. 

    A new study led by researchers at the University of Oxford suggests that it went hand-in-hand (pardon the pun) with two other major evolutionary shifts: walking on two legs and developing much larger brains.

    Thousands of primates helped narrow the possibilities

    biology, human evolution, scientific study
    A variety of primates, Canva

    The research, published in PLOS Biology, analyzed data from 2,025 monkeys and apes representing 41 different primate species.  All the evolutionary factors tested—tool use, diet, habitat, body size, social structure, brain size, movement patterns, etc.—seemed to match human data, leaving no real clues as to why our species decided to become almost exclusively right-handed. 

    However, that changed once researchers added brain size and the ratio between arm length and leg length to their analysis. Suddenly humans, with their larger brains and legs much longer than their arms (a hallmark trait of bipedal walking), stood out from an evolutionary standpoint. 

    These factors, along with other fossil records, help us imagine a timeline that looked something like this: 

    biology, human evolution, science
    The evolution of bidepal movement, Canva

    Human ancestors (Ardipithecus and Australopithecus, respectively) began walking upright, allowing one hand to become specialized over the other. At this point, there would likely be an equal number of left-handers to right-handers. 

    As our brains grow to incorporate more complex activities like using tools, communicating through a wide array of gestures, and participating in complex tasks like cooking and performing rituals, so too does our right-hand bias. In fact, the same 90% right-hand dominance is already present around 2.6 million years ago…before Homo sapiens and Neanderthals entered the scene. 

    One side of the brain might hold an important clue

    biology, human evolution, science
    Image of the brain hemispheres, Canva

    That third factor (complex tasks) is particularly interesting. Sequentially organized behaviors, also known as hierarchical action, are often believed to be something managed by the brain’s left hemisphere. The left hemisphere also controls all the motor functions and movements on the right side of the body. That said, all three elements, along with the fact that humans learn by imitating their parents, likely played equally important roles in the evolutionary narrative. 

    Ancient “hobbits” added another intriguing clue

    Backing this theory is the “hobbit” species discovered in Indonesia. This ancient humanoid species maintained smaller brains and the ability to climb while also walking. Conversely, it did not have nearly the same amount of right-hand dominance. 

    There are, of course, more mysteries to unravel. Why some of us are still left-handed, for instance. Or whether the limb preference of other animals suggests a similar evolutionary pattern. But, regardless, the study reminds us that even the most seemingly simple quirks that make us human actually tell an incomprehensibly vast story of how we came to be in the first place. 

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  • After the death of his wife, C.S. Lewis shared exactly how he dealt with grief
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C._S._Lewis#/media/File:CS_Lewis_photo_on_dust_jacket.jpgC.S. Lewis and wife Helen Joy Davidman.
    ,

    After the death of his wife, C.S. Lewis shared exactly how he dealt with grief

    His wife, Joy, died of cancer in 1960.

    Emily Shiffer

    Author and lay theologian C.S. Lewis (short for Clive Staples Lewis), lived a full life steeped in education and literature. A prolific writer, Lewis authored more than 30 books across genres, including popular fantasy saga, The Chronicles of Narnia. Born in 1898 in Northern Ireland, Lewis would become one of the most esteemed writers of the 20th century.

    Professionally successful, C.S. Lewis found love later in life. He fell deeply in love with American poet Helen Joy Davidman. The two married in 1956 when Lewis was 58 years old and Davidman was 41.

    However, their marriage was short-lived. Davidman passed away from cancer in 1960 after struggling with tumors in her breasts that spread to her bones.

    Lewis’ resulting grief turned into one of his most personal works that he had no intent on publishing: a journal he kept following her death that would later be titled A Grief Observed. Lewis used a pseudonym to publish it, N.W. Clerk, which is a pun on the Old English for “I know not what scholar,” according to the C.S. Lewis Institute.

    Who was C.S. Lewis’ wife?

    Helen Joy Davidman was born into a Jewish family in New York City in 1915, and went by “Joy.” She was extremely intelligent (called a ‘prodigy), and graduated high school at just 14. She went on to attend Hunter College for her undergraduate degree and Columbia University for her master’s degree.

    She became a teacher and writer, and discovered her love and talent for poetry. She married a man named William Lindsay Gresham in 1942, and they had two boys. They officially divorced in 1954.

    Davidsman was an atheist but searching for God, and became a Christian thanks in part to reading many of Lewis’ books, including: The Great Divorce, Miracles, and The Screwtape Letters. When she read an article on C.S. Lewis in The New York Times by a writer named Chad Walsh in 1948, her connection to Lewis began.

    Walsh ultimately became her mentor, and he encouraged her to write to Lewis. She did in January 1950, and love eventually blossomed. They married on April 23, 1956.

    She had battled health issues for years, and discovered in 1957 that she had serious cancer. She passed in July 1960 at the age of 45.

    But their love had sustained them both. She wrote him romantic sonnets and he wrote to a friend, “It’s funny having at 59 the sort of happiness most men have in their twenties. . . [ellipses his] ‘Thou has kept the good wine till now.’”)

    Lewis’ grief journey

    Davidson’s death absolutely gutted Lewis. He wrote a beautiful epitaph for her:

    Here the whole world (stars, water, air,
    And field, and forest, as they were
    Reflected in a single mind)
    Like cast off clothes was left behind
    In ashes, yet with hopes that she,
    Re-born from holy poverty,
    In lenten lands, hereafter may
    Resume them on her Easter Day.

    Lewis famously compared grief to fear. He wrote in A Grief Observed:

    “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.“

    He candidly expressed his process through grief in relation to fear, explaining that he feared going to “our favorite pub, our favorite wood.”

    Lewis also wrote on fearing the future with grief: “This is one of the things I’m afraid of. The agonies, the mad moments, must, in the course of nature die away. But what will follow? Just this apathy, this dead flatness?“

    A Grief Observed is revered for Lewis’ brutal honesty about grief, including his anger and questioning of God:

    “But go to Him when your need is desperable, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double-bolting on the inside. After that, silence.”

    As former president of the C.S. Lewis Institute Arthur W. Lindsley wrote in 2001, “the process was not pretty or easy. The path was much clouded by fear, doubt, and anger before the gradual lifting of the darkness and breaking through of the sun.”

    Lightness did come back to Lewis unexpectedly and gradually:

    “It came this morning, early … my heart was lighter than it had been for many weeks… like the warming of a room or the coming of daylight. When you first notice them, they have been already going on for some time.“

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  • A Sacramento ‘food desert’ is getting a transformative, first-of-its-kind public market
    Photo credit: Alchemist CDC – Jerk Street Tacos will be one of many local food businesses at Alchemist Public Market.
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    A Sacramento ‘food desert’ is getting a transformative, first-of-its-kind public market

    “We want this to be a place where neighborhood residents, visitors to Sacramento, and anyone who loves food and community feel welcome and connected.”

    Annie Reneau

    Picture this: A city neighborhood has exploded in population, from a few hundred people to more than 3,000 residents in just a few years. With a new $450 million soccer stadium being built nearby, experts expect that population to rise to more than 9,000.

    And yet, there are glaring gaps in the community. With no neighborhood school, library, or community center, people have few local public spaces to gather. And with a stark lack of grocery stores and restaurants, residents have found themselves living in a “food desert.”

    The nonprofit Alchemist Community Development Corporation has its finger on the pulse of this emerging neighborhood in Sacramento, California’s historically industrial River District. It also has an innovative solution to fill many of those glaring gaps: Alchemist Public Market (APM).

    Artist’s rendering of the front of Alchemist Public Market. Photo courtesy of Alchemist CDC

    A vibrant public space that serves as an incubator for new food businesses

    The first-of-its-kind public market will include a corner store that accepts WIC and CalFresh (California’s SNAP benefits program) and sells grocery staples and products from local makers. People will be able to connect at the market’s eating areas, co-working space, inclusive playground, and weekly farmers market.

    But APM will also provide opportunities for up-and-coming food entrepreneurs. The space will be home to eight small incubator restaurants in a shared food court, as well as a shared-use commissary kitchen that can support dozens of independent food vendors.

    Shannin Stein, Alchemist’s director of advancement, tells Upworthy that one goal of the market is to make sure people living and working in the neighborhood aren’t left out of the economic conversation as hundreds of millions of dollars are invested in the surrounding area. That goal aligns with Alchemist CDC’s long-time support of food entrepreneurs from underserved populations.

    Helping food entrepreneurs get their businesses off the ground

    Alchemist CDC has multiple programs that help support burgeoning food businesses, and APM will serve as an extension of that support.

    Nikki Gaddis-Chester, owner of Jerk Street Tacos, has been part of the Alchemist Kitchen Incubator Program (AKIP) for the past two years and looks forward to having a space at APM. She tells Upworthy that mentorship from Alchemist has “significantly transformed” her business journey.

    “This vibrant community has not only supported the growth of our small mobile food business, but has also equipped us with essential tools for developing and sustaining our menu,” she said.

    Jessica Brown, founder of Latin Caribbean culinary brand Caribe Azul, tells Upworthy that APM will be “a powerful opportunity for entrepreneurs who have the creativity, culinary experience, and drive to start a business but may not yet have the structure, knowledge, or support to build a strong foundation.”

    Brown has participated in Alchemist CDC’s Microenterprise Academy program, a 12-week training course for starting a food business.

    “I came into the program with a clear concept for my Latin Caribbean cuisine, but building a business can feel isolating when you are managing so many parts on your own, from operations to marketing and promotion,” she said. “What I experienced through Alchemist felt like opening a gate to a portal I did not realize I had access to, but that was always there. It helped me recognize the strengths I already had while giving me the structure to apply them with confidence.”

    An all-electric campus that fosters community around food

    The APM project aims to connect people to local agriculture and food businesses while also meeting the goal of environmental sustainability.

    “APM is being built as a state-of-the-art, all-electric, sustainably designed campus that reflects Sacramento’s leadership in environmental innovation, investment in local food systems, and community-centered economic development,” Stein said. “We want this to be a place where neighborhood residents, visitors to Sacramento, and anyone who loves food and community feel welcome and connected.”

    So-called “third places,” where people can meet up outside of home or work, play an important role in building community culture. Sam Greenlee, CEO of Alchemist, describes how local residents will be able to use the space:

    “Alchemist Public Market will serve as a heart for this emerging community. At APM, people can walk over to buy their grocery staples, and that includes people who depend on EBT and WIC nutrition benefits. Community elders can read the paper and chat over a great cup of coffee. Parents of young kids can meet up to enjoy delicious food while their kids have fun in the play area. Co-workers can go out to lunch and find enough variety to make everyone happy. Teens can come by after school, get a snack, and check out ping pong paddles or a basketball to play in the park next door. Families can meet their neighbors at the weekly farmers’ market, listen to local musicians during dinner, and celebrate after Sacramento Republic FC matches.”

    A community gathering space that serves as an engine of economic growth

    Alchemist Public Market broke ground in April 2026 with bipartisan support and significant public funding secured. Sacramento Mayor Kevin McCarty and Congresswoman Doris Matsui attended the groundbreaking.

    “Alchemist Public Market will drive economic growth, support public health, and transform a vacant space into a community center, increasing food access for the immediate neighborhood and fostering economic growth that will ripple across Sacramento,” McCarty told Upworthy. “We were proud to support Alchemist CDC’s Farmers’ Market access program and look forward to this all-electric market.”

    Greenlee concurs on the importance of the market as a driver of the local economy. “APM is going to be an economic development engine at the heart of our region for decades to come,” he said, “launching new businesses that represent the diversity of our communities, filling vacant storefronts, hiring neighbors, paying local taxes, and altogether making Sacramento a more vibrant place to live.”

    The challenges of nonprofit projects in tough economic times

    Of course, like most nonprofit organizations, Alchemist has had to play whack-a-mole with challenges since the market’s inception. The economic woes we’ve all experienced in recent years have taken a toll on the project and its organizers as they navigate the ever-evolving world of government funding, manage cash flow timing, and deal with dramatic increases in building material costs.

    “Community-based organizations are often expected to solve deeply complex social and economic challenges, but without the same incentives, flexibility, or financial backing commonly available to traditional for-profit development projects,” Stein said. “It can create a difficult dynamic where nonprofits are asked to prove success long before receiving the level of investment needed to fully realize that success.”

    Though construction has already begun, the project faces an immediate need for a bridge loan to move forward as red tape ties up funding disbursements. However, Alchemist is determined to bring the market and all it has to offer to life.

    “This project’s existence is the story of numerous almost-insurmountable challenges, and the tenacity to find a way through each one,” Greenlee said. “Early on, many people understandably thought the project was a bit pie in the sky; a great idea that seemed unlikely to become reality. As a non-profit, we have always faced challenges funding the next step of the project…But at every step in the process, we have demonstrated our commitment to see this project through, and we have found people stepping up to help us through each and every obstacle.” 

    You can find updates on Alchemist Public Market here and learn more about what Alchemist CDC does here.

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  • George Washington offered wise advice on why friendships should develop like ‘a plant of slow growth’
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Washington#/media/File:Gilbert_Stuart_Williamstown_Portrait_of_George_Washington.jpgGeorge Washington shared his advice on building friendships.
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    George Washington offered wise advice on why friendships should develop like ‘a plant of slow growth’

    He shared his wisdom with nephew Bushrod Washington in 1783.

    Emily Shiffer

    George Washington became the first President of the United States on April 30, 1789. Born in 1732, he was raised in Virginia and dedicated to the formation of the United States of America (after previously being called the ‘United Colonies‘.)

    Both his military and political service led to Washington developing many deep friendships throughout his life. He died at his Mount Vernon estate in 1799.

    “Among his friends, Washington also showed a capacity for intimacy and playfulness that was largely absent from his public persona as Commander-and-Chief and later president,” noted Cassandra Good, Ph.D. Assistant Professor of History Marymount University.

    Washington offered his wisdom on developing and maintaining friendships in his personal letters.

    George Washington’s friendship advice

    Washington had a large family and often shared his sage life experience with his many nieces and nephews. In the early 1780s, his nephew Bushrod Washington was studying law in Philadelphia. He would go on to become an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, and inherited Mount Vernon (Washington’s famed estate in Virginia) after his uncle’s death.

    Washington offered his wisdom on friendship to his nephew Bushrod Washington in a letter dated January 15, 1783:

    “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence—true friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo & withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”

    George Washington’s friendships

    Washington friendships were described as “selective, but often long-lasting, loyal, and integral to his public life.”

    In a letter dated June 15, 1790 to David Stuart (a man who became Washington’s close friend after he married his step-daughter-in-law), he wrote: 

    “I can truly say I had rather be at Mount Vernon with a friend or two about me, than to be attended at the Seat of Government by the Officers of State and the Representatives of every Power in Europe… “

    Washington gained friends through many outlets, including his Virginia social circle and his military service in the Revolutionary War. During the American Revolution, Washington met and became close friends with General Henry Knox, who would become Secretary of State.

    The two maintained a 25-year friendship, and Washington wrote of Knox: “there is no man in the United States with whom I have been in habits of greater intimacy, no one whom I have loved more sincerely, nor any for whom I have had a greater friendship.”

    Washington’s friendship with Thomas Jefferson

    One of Washington’s most notable friendships was with fellow Founding Father Thomas Jefferson. According to author Francis D. Cogliano’s book A Revolutionary Friendship (published by Harvard University Press), the two were friends for 30 years.

    Washington seemed to take his own advice on friendship when it came to Jefferson. They bonded over their love of theater, agriculture and architecture.

    “Their relationship evolved slowly, but they became close friends,” Cogliano wrote. “Each respected the other’s qualities, and they worked productively together for twenty years.”

    Unfortunately, the two would become estranged in 1797 after a letter Jefferson wrote a friend with “unflattering references to Washington” was ultimately published in Europe and America.

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