Upworthy's book GOOD PEOPLE, now available — take a look!

Shop
 Explore 

Tod Perry

Tod Perry is an Upworthy Staff Writer from Long Beach, California. You can follow him on Twitter @TodAPerry

FollowUnfollowFollowing

Family

Did this woman drop the greatest breastfeeding response of all time?

Another woman was attempting to publicly shame her.

Photo cropped from Facebook page.

Everyone eats sexualized or not.

When it comes to breasts, Americans really have it twisted. We've sexualized them to such a point we no longer see them for their main purpose: feeding babies.

This disconnect is so extreme that when women breastfeed their children in public they are often met with scorn or shame.

Florida mom and anti-circumcision advocate, Ashley Kaidel, isn't having it anymore.

Facebook, viral photo, motherhood, babies

Not having it.

media1.giphy.com

Kaidel was breastfeeding in an unnamed restaurant when another diner gave her the stink-eye, just for feeding her child in public.

So Kaidel took a photo of herself staring right back at the shamer and posted it to Facebook. The photo quickly went viral, receiving over 420,000 likes.

In her post, she explained why she had such a stern look on her face.

"In the picture, it appears I'm staring off into the distance. In reality, I'm staring into the eyes of a woman staring at me. She is looking at me with disgust and shaking her head with judgement in an attempt to shame me and indirectly tell me without words that I am wrong and need to cover myself.”

Kaidel says she breastfeeds in public to reduce the stigma surrounding it.

"I do this for the person that has the mentality 'Boobs are to be covered. They're for your husbands eyes only. They're intimate. It's a personal/private thing to feed your baby. Cover up out of respect. My kids don't need to see that. Walk out of the room' and any other derogatory, close-minded comments and sentiments alike.”

Then, she cut through all the nonsense surrounding breasts to explain their real purpose.

"[B]reasts were made to sustain your baby's life before they were made to bring pleasure to any other man, woman, partner or spouse. Their sole purpose is to make food and dispense it straight into a baby's mouth. There is nothing weird about this and there's no difference in me feeding my baby with my breast than you feeding yourself with a spoon.

Finally, Kaidel had some strong words for the next person who attempts to shame her for breastfeeding in public.

"No person should be isolated and shunned because they're eating, especially when you yourself are eating while ridiculing how someone else is eating. Is it not certainly easier to avert your eyes from a displeasing sight rather than suggest or demand a mother and child remove themselves from your presence? How pompous and selfish is this? Just look away. It's simple to do so. No harm done at all."

via GIPHY

This article originally appeared on 11.24.15

From Your Site Articles

breastfeeding

Innovation

A student accidentally created a rechargeable battery that could last 400 years

"This thing has been cycling 10,000 cycles and it’s still going."

Steve Zylius/University of California, Irvine.

There's an old saying that luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.

There's no better example of that than a 2016 discovery at the University of California, Irvine, by doctoral student Mya Le Thai. After playing around in the lab, she made a discovery that could lead to a rechargeable battery that could last up to 400 years. That means longer-lasting laptops and smartphones and fewer lithium ion batteries piling up in landfills.

A team of researchers at UCI had been experimenting with nanowires for potential use in batteries, but found that over time the thin, fragile wires would break down and crack after too many charging cycles. A charge cycle is when a battery goes from completely full to completely empty and back to full again.

But one day, on a whim, Thai coated a set of gold nanowires in manganese dioxide and a Plexiglas-like electrolyte gel.

"She started to cycle these gel capacitors, and that's when we got the surprise," said Reginald Penner, chair of the university's chemistry department. "She said, 'this thing has been cycling 10,000 cycles and it's still going.' She came back a few days later and said 'it's been cycling for 30,000 cycles.' That kept going on for a month."

This discovery is mind-blowing because the average laptop battery lasts 300 to 500 charge cycles. The nanobattery developed at UCI made it though 200,000 cycles in three months. That would extend the life of the average laptop battery by about 400 years. The rest of the device would have probably gone kaput decades before the battery, but the implications for a battery that that lasts hundreds of years are pretty startling.

Batteries being recycled at WRWA, London. Nov ‘21Photo by John Cameron on Unsplash

"The big picture is that there may be a very simple way to stabilize nanowires of the type that we studied," Penner said. "If this turns out to be generally true, it would be a great advance for the community." Not bad for just fooling around in the laboratory.

This article originally appeared 12.22.22

From Your Site Articles

Family

Texas UPS driver proudly explains why he never helps his wife do any chores

“I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that.”

via minton__jr/TikTok and Alex Green/Pexels

J.R. Minton's video has over 6 million views.

Even though America has come a long way in gender relations over the past few decades men are still far behind women when accepting domestic responsibilities.

A recent study from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey found that women aged 15 and over spend 5.7 hours daily on domestic tasks, whereas men spend 3.6 hours, a 37 percent difference. Women with a 35-hour week devote 4.9 hours daily to home chores and child care, compared to men's 3.8 hours.

In a world where men still trail behind women when it comes to work on the homefront, a Texas UPS driver is going viral for a TikTok video where he urges men to reconsider how they think about domestic responsibilities.

In a video with over 6 million views, J.R. Minton proudly says he doesn’t “help” his wife with jobs around the house. “I don’t help my wife cook. I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that,” Minton, 32, began his clip.

Warning: Strong language.

@minton__jr

So, why does Minton refuse to help his wife?

"Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view their relationship to domestic responsibilities and their wives. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

The video received raves from women in the comments. Sadly, many used the video to share that their husbands have fallen short of Minton’s level of understanding. "My husband sometimes doesn’t even flush the toilet," Human Robot wrote. "I am sending this straight to my man he needs to see this," JJsMom added.

"Yep! My husband and I recognize it’s BOTH our kids and BOTH our house, therefore BOTH our responsibility," Sweetheart wrote.

Minton is an equal partner to his wife because he was raised much differently and wants to right the wrongs of his past. “Pretty much everything about my parenting style is in spite of what I saw when I was growing up,” he told Today.com

Minton knew that his philosophy on marriage was necessary when a woman at Target praised him for doing the “bare minimum." “I was wearing the baby, and I had two kids in the cart, and this lady comes up to Brittany, and she’s like, ‘Oh my God. Is this your husband!? Look at him. You should take a picture of him,’” Minton said. “I get so much credit for doing nothing. How low is the bar?"

Minton responded to his viral video with a heartfelt follow-up to everyone who loved how he cared for his wife and family. “I’m truly humbled at how far my message has gone,” he said. “However, I’d like to take a second to say: I am not special. I am no ‘unicorn.’ I am normal.”

“Nothing about my parenting style or my commitment to my wife is unique. Although it may seem out of the ordinary, it is far from extraordinary,” he continued. “Every father and husband we know (that seems to come up short) is fully-capable — yet unwilling.” He added that there was one thing that separates dads who do their part and dads who don’t: “Effort.”

This article originally appeared on 10.16.23

From Your Site Articles

marriage

Health

Myth-destroying therapist explains why it's 'loving' for couples to go to bed angry

Love isn't that simplistic.

via Polina Zimmerman

A couple arguing before bedtime.

Just about everyone who has been married has been told countless times by older, more experienced couples that one of the most essential rules is, “Don’t go to bed angry.” They swear it’s best for a relationship to hash out the disagreement before bed and ensure it’s resolved before anyone gets any shut-eye.

That advice makes a lot of sense. It’s hard to get to sleep after fighting with your significant other. The argument keeps playing over and over again in your head. You may be angry. You may be hurt. That’s a bad position to be in, if you need to get your 40 winks.

However, making a big problem solvable by the time we go to bed is like watching a big family problem get fixed in 23 minutes on a sitcom. It's just not realistic. Some issues deserve more thought and conversation.

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University and a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University, recently made the case that it’s “loving” to go to bed angry in the caption of a myth-busting Instagram post.

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Alexandra H Solomon, PhD (@dr.alexandra.solomon)

Dr. Solomon is also the host of the “Reimagining Love Podcast,” where she challenges some of the questionable messages we’re given about love and relationships.

“I’ve been a couples therapist for over a quarter of a century and I’m here to remind you that it’s OK to go to bed mad,” she wrote in the caption of a viral Instagram post. She adds that it can be “loving” to go to bed angry under the following circumstances:

You’re exhausted.
You don’t have privacy.
You’ve been drinking or using drugs
It’s late and you’re talking in circles
One of both of you has a big day tomorrow
You have little kids who’ll be up at the ass crack of dawn needing pancakes
You’re at risk of saying or doing something that you’ll regret because you’re upset and exhausted

couple fight, go to bed angry, conflict resolution A couple fighting before bed.via Sasint/Pixabay

However, she also shared 5 reasons when it’s not OK to go to bed angry:

Not every night, not even lots of nights.⁣
Not to prove a point.⁣
Not to get the upper hand.
Not to punish your partner
Not to show your partner what a jerk they are

Dr. Solomon says being tired makes us more likely to make extreme arguments and be more hostile than when we are well-rested. She believes that when couples go to bed angry, they should do so consciously with their partners by calling a “time out” on the argument and acknowledging the difficult situation.

“This is a really hard conversation,” or “I think we both feel pretty hurt and misunderstood,” you could say before tabling the discussion for the following day. You can also perform a loving gesture, such as getting your partner a glass of water or squeezing their foot before bed to let them know you are still safe.

Relationship myths such as “don’t go to bed angry” can become a real problem for couples who fail to live up to what’s seen as the relationship gold standard. When couples violate the relationship commandment and go to bed angry, they blame themselves when really, they’re not doing anything wrong. Conflict is natural. So is being tired.

That’s why Dr. Solomon’s myth-busting, Disney-did-us-wrong approach is so important.

"We grow up on this study stream of fairytales, song lyrics and romantic comedies that give us a view of love that is simplistic and unrealistic," says Dr. Solomon told Parade. "Then, when we bump into problems and challenges in our own lives, we end up feeling like we are the problem, rather than the myths being the problem."

cvouple fight, conflict resolution, relationships A couple fighting before bed.via RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Ultimately, relationships are complex, and myths such as “don’t go to bed angry” and the “happily ever after” story we’re told as children give us a false impression about what love and true partnership are all about. Then, when we fail to meet those expectations, we find fault in ourselves and our partners.

"Going to bed mad is painful enough on its own," Dr. Solomon says. "It feels lonely. It feels yucky. To add another layer of shame—[that] somehow this is wrong, I'm wrong, you're wrong, we're wrong—makes a hard thing harder."

Dr. Solomoan wants us all to realize that relationships are complex. So there’s nothing wrong with giving each other a break and sleeping on it for a night.

From Your Site Articles

relationships

Family

Woman shares sweet exchange with 92-year-old grandpa who invited her over for 'sleepover'

“We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa.”

Photo by Mark Farías on Unsplash

man in black suit jacket kissing woman in white sleeveless dress

Loneliness is one of the most dangerous health problems in the United States, although it’s seldom discussed. Psychology Today says loneliness has the same mortality risks as obesity, smoking, alcoholism and physical inactivity.

A meta-analysis from Brigham Young University found that social isolation may increase the risk of premature death by up to 50%. The problem with loneliness is that people suffer in silence and it afflicts the ones we don’t see.

A TikTok user who goes by the name Megan Elizabeth recently shared a touching story on social media about how her grandfather was feeling lonely so he reached out to her.

The story shows what can happen when one person is brave enough to confront their social isolation and the important role grandkids can play in their grandparents’ lives.

It started when Megan's grandpa texted her to ask if she'd like to come over for a sleepover. “I haven’t been feeling well and miss you. We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa,” he wrote.

Megan was happy to go see him, so grandpa made a series of requests to make the sleepover a hit.

“Could you pick up applesauce? The cinnamon kind,” he asked. “And if you go somewhere with mash potatoes, I would like that because I have no teeth and can only eat soft things. Ha!”

He also wanted some strawberry ice cream for dessert. “Thank you. You are my favorite granddaughter,” he ended the conversation. Megan later noted that she’s his only granddaughter.

See on Instagram

Megan came by with a big bag of food and some ice cream and the two hung out and watched his favorite black-and-white “mystery movies.”

When it was time for bed, grandpa hadn't forgotten how to put her to sleep. He got her a glass of water to put by the bed in case she got thirsty and left a flashlight on the nightstand just in case his 29-year-old granddaughter got scared.

The next morning, at 5:30 am, he watched her leave for work.

See on Instagram

Grandfather and granddaughter grew up close to one another.

Megan lived with her grandparents when she was young while her parents saved up money for a house. When they bought one, it was right across the street.

“I am so lucky to have grown up with my grandpa and my grandma (rest in peace),” she wrote on Instagram. “I feel so happy. I am thankful for my grandpa and he will never understand how much love he truly has shown me. And more importantly, the love he showed my grandma while she was alive. I believe in love and loyalty because of this man. He is my hero,” she added.

See on Instagram

Megan's time with her grandfather made her realize a valuable lesson about her life.

"I think one of the most important realizations I have had recently is that it’s important to live in the moment but it is important to live in the now with intent," she wrote on Instagram, "so that when you are 92, you look back and smile at all the people you loved, the memories you made and the life you chose to live."

This article originally appeared on 04.27.22

From Your Site Articles

Tod Perry

Another woman was attempting to publicly shame her.

Kaidel was breastfeeding in an unnamed restaurant when another diner gave her the stink-eye, just for feeding her child in public.

Kaidel says she breastfeeds in public to reduce the stigma surrounding it.

"This thing has been cycling 10,000 cycles and it’s still going."

There's an old saying that luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.

“I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that.”

Love isn't that simplistic.

“We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa.”

A TikTok user who goes by the name Megan Elizabeth recently shared a touching story on social media about how her grandfather was feeling lonely so he reached out to her.

Megan was happy to go see him, so grandpa made a series of requests to make the sleepover a hit.

Megan came by with a big bag of food and some ice cream and the two hung out and watched his favorite black-and-white “mystery movies.”

Megan lived with her grandparents when she was young while her parents saved up money for a house. When they bought one, it was right across the street.

Megan's time with her grandfather made her realize a valuable lesson about her life.

It's amazing the magic we can find in our own yards.

The results are an incredible series of photos of birds and other woodland creatures from a vantage point most people never see. Rhodes calls her project, "Beneath the Bird Feeder."

1. Dark-eyed junco

2. Dark-eyed junco

3. Dark-eyed junco

4. Tufted titmouse

5. Mourning dove

6. Mourning dove

7. Mourning doves

8. Blue jay

9. Northern cardinal

10. Black-capped chickadee

11. Black-capped chickadee

12. Eastern gray squirrel

13. American red squirrel

14. American red squirrel

15. Northern short-tailed shrew

“You are more than welcome to hang out and watch TV all night, but if you want to make some extra $, these jobs are up for grabs.”

Katrina Ivan, a science teacher, posted the list she sent her babysitter on TikTok and the video received over 1.5 million views.

When the babysitter saw the list, she was excited to get to work and started cleaning the windows 10 minutes after Katrina and her husband left the house.

All in all, the sitter made $28.75 an hour, tax-free. Not bad at all.