A famous person giving an autograph.
Why is it that some people just have “It” and are highly charismatic? Is it genetic? Is it their looks? Is it their ability to be totally present with others? Is it their confidence? Is it an incredible bundle of every positive personality type imaginable, with a sprinkle of energy and talent?
People say that Bill Clinton was charismatic because he made you feel like the only person in the room. You don’t even have to be likable to be magnetic. Steve Jobs wasn’t exactly loved by those he worked with, but his magnetism was off the charts. In his theory of charismatic authority, sociologist Max Weber argued that charismatic leaders create a sense of shared meaning. They give people a story that explains who they are and what matters at a given time and place.
What's one personality trait that all charismatic people share?
HannahExplainsIt, a content creator who focuses on psychology and its intersection with spirituality, explained the one quality that super magnetic people possess in a viral Instagram video. Hannah says that super magnetic people have “emotional contrast,” and that it is one of the most “powerful attraction triggers” that draws people and opportunities toward them.
“It's because contrast creates tension, and tension is actually the foundation of magnetism. The human brain is wired to notice when something breaks a pattern, and when someone is predictable, your brain kinda goes on autopilot, and it's like there's nothing new to process here,” Hannah says. “But when someone surprises you, you actually get a dopamine spike, and your nervous system goes, ‘Wait, tell me more about that person.’ These microsurprises about people are what makes them unforgettable. So, in real life, this is all about showing emotional range.”
To put it simply: People with emotional contrast have surprising sides to their personality that are unexpected, but welcome.
Hannah shares some examples of ways that people can show emotional contrast:
An athletic guy who is secretly obsessed with astrophysics
A girl who is bubbly and soft but has a slightly edgy side
A logical, analytical man who can tap into his emotions and ask powerful questions
Funny guy who can be serious and profound when least expected
“I think she’s absolutely right. People are often magnetically drawn to personalities that hold a bit of tension,” TC Cooper, executive coach and founder of Upward Action, tells Upworthy. “When our brains sense what feels like a disconnect, we interpret it as something to be understood or resolved. That sparks curiosity and an instinctive desire to gather more information to bridge the gap.”
Joel Silverstone, a communications expert for Fortune 500 leaders, agrees with Hannah and Cooper but says the emotional dynamics must be combined with authenticity. “What makes us 'super magnetically' attracted to others is their emotional range, and whether the person is being consistent. Do we believe them? Or is it just an act?” Silverstone, founder of This Feels Right, tells Upworthy.
A man in a suit answering questions.via Canva/Photos
The good news is that if you want to be more magnetic, Hannah and our experts say, it means showing a greater range of your true self. So, if you’ve been insecure about showing people the side of your personality you keep hidden, this is an excellent opportunity to show your whole self. Because chances are, people will love you even more for it.
“Contrast creates instant fascination because humans are attracted to complexity and internal duality,” Hannah concludes her video. “So, if you want to be more magnetic, one of the most important things you can do is master showing your own contrast and emotional range.”