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Need help with a rude kid? Teachers share 9 ways to deal with kids who make rude comments.

Parents, if your kid is acting rude, take some tips from the pros.

rude child, girl sticking out tongue, entitled
Photo credit: Canva

A girl sticking out her tongue.

Few things are more frightening for parents than raising a rude and entitled child. Younger kids just say whatever is on their minds, so you can change their behavior by letting them know that their words can hurt people’s feelings. But when kids get older and know better, many go through a phase where they challenge their parents and teachers by seeing how far they can push things by being inappropriate.

Once kids are intentionally rude, you’ve got to nip it in the bud before it becomes an ingrained part of their personality.

This is a challenging phase for parents because there are many ways to respond to a child's rude comments. You can ignore them and hope they stop because their behavior isn't getting them any attention. Or you can react and show them that being rude can get a rise out of someone.

A group of teachers has come to the aid of anyone who wants tips on handling their child’s rude behavior. A Redditor who is a teacher having difficulty dealing with rude students asked the teachers' subforum for help and they shared many creative and effective ways to handle the situation. “I like kids, but they can definitely be brutal. I’m rather sensitive, but I don’t know what to say to kids that insult others/me besides ‘that’s not nice’ or ‘that hurts people’s feelings,’” the teacher wrote in the post.

The responses showed that there’s more than one way to handle a rude child, whether it’s a witty comeback or digging down deep and talking with the child about the root cause of their anger.



Here are 9 ways teachers say they deal with kids acting rude.

How do I stop my kid from being rude?

1. Quick comebacks

"I have kids of my own so I have years of experience either with great comebacks or just agreeing with them. I had a student tell me I’m annoying. I told him that I guess he better hurry up and finish what he was doing so I could stop annoying him. I had one tell me I was fat and I replied all the better to squish him with."

"So my first year teaching... One day, I wore an empire waist shirt that I loved. And this asshole in the back of the classroom, who's been a jerk all period, goes, 'Yo, Miss! Are you pregnant?' To which I turned around and replied, 'No I'm just fat. Can we please move on now?' He never gave me problems after that. (I did throw out that shirt, tho.)"

"I found the best way to deal with rude students is to evenly inform them exactly how their behavior comes across, and ask them if that was their intention. They're usually too surprised you aren't being reactionary to lie."



2. Explain why

"I had a little one (1st grade) poke my stomach and ask if I was pregnant. My aid gasped and I chuckled. I told him I was not pregnant and, while it did not hurt my feelings, that asking that question could hurt some people. When he asked why I told him it makes people feel like you think they are fat and some people can’t have babies and it really hurts them because they want babies but can’t have them. He hugged me and said sorry. He then told his friends not to ask people if they were pregnant because it hurts them. I have found calmly telling children why it is rude helps. This doesn’t work as well with older kids though."

"Depending on what is being said, I usually tell them what they said is rude and that’s not how we talk to people. So if they say you’re fat, you say it’s not kind to comment on someone’s weight or size, don’t do it again. It’s ok to tell them they’re being rude and to use their manners. Kids of all ages are capable of understanding that."

3. Consequences

"Tell them they are free to say whatever they want, but they should recognize that there are consequences as well. For example, people won't want to be friends with someone who is rude!"

4. Think sheet

"I don’t know what the consequence structure at your school is but for my school we would typically do a 'think sheet' if something like that happens. Kid has to write about how what they did was wrong and how to not do it again. Parent gets an email home and the sheet gets added to the kid’s file."



5. Get to know them

"If rude behavior is something that you've been dealing with all year, I'd also make a point to focus on the kids who are the worst at having bad attitudes and getting to know them better. Try spending a few minutes a day with them and get to know them, once they realize you care about them, they may be more inclined to be polite."

How to respond to a rude child

6. Are you trying to hurt me?

"Honesty is the best way. 'That’s a hurtful thing to say. Are you trying to hurt me right now?' But not taking things personally from kids is like, a requirement for the job."

I have success with the 'how do you think that makes (person) feel?' Or the 'can you find a different way of saying that that doesn’t have hurtful language.' Of the student is more recalcitrant, a simple 'try again.' with direct eye contact can be effective. If all that fails, then leave the scene with a statement like 'that’s unfortunate you felt the need to use that kind of hurtful language. I’d love to keep talking with you, but i can’t if you’re going to talk to me that way..' walk away or start talking to another student."

7. Three questions

"Remind them quite calmly that they’re speaking to a human being and that it’s worth considering what they’re about to say by asking themselves three questions: 1. Is it true? 2. Is it necessary? 3. Is it nice? No to any of those questions = don’t say it.
Ignore it."

"I'm not sure about kids that young, but something I do a lot with middle and high schoolers is just say ok and move on (if it’s towards me, towards other kids requires more attention. I’ve found that most of the time they are just looking for the reaction they get from it and by just saying ok and going back to whatever you were doing before then it really throws them off and suddenly they feel less ok about it. I’ve even had some kids get somewhat embarrassed because they were expecting the class to have a good laugh at my expense but instead they just looked like the jerk that insulted the teacher in front of the whole class."


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Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
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Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

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How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

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via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

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Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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Mental Health

Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

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Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Woman concocts genius plan to declutter her house by sneaking random items into her friends' homes

Diabolical? Maybe. Effective? Definitely.

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Photo credit: Canva

Left: A woman holding her finger up to convey a secret. Right: A hand placing an antique item on a window ledge.

For many of us, decluttering is a necessary evil. We take no joy in it, other than knowing our lives might run a little more smoothly afterward. It's sort of like going to the dentist or getting an oil change.

But like so many of life's mundanities, could decluttering become something we actually look forward to if we found a way to infuse a little playfulness?

For Stephanie Patrick, that meant secretly leaving random items at other people's houses.

In a mega-viral Instagram clip, Patrick is seen placing a tiny bar of soap, a small creamer pitcher, and a vintage glass tealight candle holder on different countertops, accompanied by the caption, "Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do."

The video has been viewed more than 25 million times, with thousands of people praising Patrick for her "diabolical" yet "genius" idea. Here are just a few of the reactions:

"A clever menace. I love it."

"This is amazing. They are going to go crazy asking each other 'where did this come from? Do you know where this came from?'"

"I have never felt so inspired in my whole entire life."

"UNHEIST"

"Reverse burglary"

This isn't Patrick's first, ahem, unconventional decluttering idea. In another video, we see her placing random items—a picture frame, a mini sewing kit, a sequined heart pillow, and yet another tealight candle holder—along the aisles of Hobby Lobby. Retail sticker and everything.

"I'm sure they will sell eventually," she wrote.

While leaving items for retail workers to deal with isn't the best option, Patrick clarified in the comments that she only "pretended" to leave the items behind. Still, there's something to be said for gamifying decluttering so the process itself becomes a bit more enjoyable.

Here are a few ideas procured from around the web:

Creative ways to make decluttering fun

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Hanger reversal

Turn all your hangers the wrong way. When you wear an item, flip the hanger back. After six months, donate anything that's still reversed.

The "no-thing" prize

Reward yourself with an experience, like a movie or dessert, rather than more items.

Take the 12-12-12 challenge

Locate 12 items to throw away, 12 to donate, and 12 to return to their proper homes. You can customize the challenge however you see fit.

Take before-and-after photos of a small area

Choose one part of your home, like a kitchen counter, and take a photo of a small area. Quickly clear away the items in the photo, then take an after shot. Once you see how your home could look, it becomes easier to start decluttering other areas.

Play the "minimalism game"

Created by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus ("The Minimalists"), this game has you determine how many items you'll declutter based on the day of the week, such as 20 items on the 20th. You can find a free printable by clicking here.

Decluttering jar

A "declutter jar" contains color-coded sticks for each area of the house. The kitchen might be marked blue, with each blue stick representing a specific area, such as the pantry, under the sink, the junk drawer, or the cup shelf. Whatever stick you draw is the area you declutter. No decision-making necessary.

The "moving method"

Pretend you're moving into a smaller, but swankier, home and only keep what you absolutely love or need. Tap into your imagination while making room for real life. A win-win.

Lastly, never underestimate the power of simply throwing on a bangin' decluttering playlist. Whatever route gets you there is the route worth taking. Of course, if you follow in Patrick's footsteps, you might have some explaining to do to your friends.

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Woman creates 1940s-inspired home to pay off her mortgage in just 8 years

She shared 10 frugal living tips to help transform people's budgets.

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Photo credit: Canva, Karola G from Pexels (left) / Doina Gherban's Images (right)

Left: A woman holding money. Right: A toy house in a person's hand.

Anyone who can pay off their mortgage early should be applauded and probably grilled with questions about how they pulled off that minor miracle. Hannah, a content creator from Nottingham, England, made it happen partly by taking inspiration from the 1940s, both in and out of the two-bedroom home she shares with her mother. She documented her approach in an intriguing YouTube video titled "10 Frugal Living Tips from the 1940s That Still Work Today."

Hannah opens the clip with some backstory. She grew up in a one-income household, learning fiscal responsibility from her mother, and together they worked hard to pay off the mortgage on their current home in eight years.

"For as long as I can remember, we've lived in a certain way to get by," she says. "But as I've gotten older and become interested in history, I've discovered another incredible teacher: our ancestors."

Learning from the past also aligned with her love of retro aesthetics, and she's documented both on her social media channels under the name Real Vintage Dolls House.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Making what you have last

Not all of her frugality tips will work for everyone, since no two situations are identical. For example, she doesn't have children. Still, her advice covers a wide range, from escaping a more-is-more mindset to scaling back food costs. Several points fall into the latter category, including the importance of cooking from scratch.

"In the '40s, people were forced to make rationed food go further," she says. "Nowadays, eating out and takeaways are just so expensive, so this quickly became a very occasional treat for us, not a weekly staple."

She keeps a "modest" pantry of ingredients, like potatoes, that can be stretched to make them last. In addition, she mainly drinks tap water, coffee, and tea, and grows her own fruits and vegetables in the garden.

Several tips focus on doing more around the house, such as using "useful and cheap beauty hacks" like homemade soap, working out at home instead of paying for an expensive gym membership, and cutting heating bills by staying warm with clothes and blankets. That also ties into a broader point about "secondhand living." Hannah says that "almost everything" in her house was purchased secondhand or handed down, including her refrigerator.

"Of course, buying secondhand does limit your choices, but I actually like that because it lessens my decision fatigue," she says. "And if something isn't quite right, I can use my agency and skills to repair it or amend it. And if I don't have these skills then I can learn them, often for free. In the '40s, they called this 'make do and mend.' [By maintaining old items] you're freeing yourself from the upgrade loop."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Experiences over stuff

Elsewhere, Hannah recommends walking as much as possible to save on gas money and maintaining a "capsule clothing plan," in which you carefully curate a small closet of versatile items with a long shelf life. Finally, she stresses the importance of experiences over things: "If there's one thing that the 1940s has taught me, it's the simple ways that people spent their time to still find enjoyment and pleasure. Picnics, walks, a cup of tea at a cafe: all experience-driven, rather than wallet-driven."

Hannah spoke about her home (and her love of the 1940s) with The Daily Mail in 2021:

"The house is kind of like an ode to my grandpa, who was born in 1936. He was a significant part of my life and really got me interested in the 40s era as a kid—I was enamored by his droplets of wisdom. My nan's taste in vintage and eccentric fashion has also inspired me to dress quirky."

Given the financial hardships they endured, people from the Greatest Generation and Silent Generation may have valuable frugality advice to offer. People on Reddit recently shared tips they learned firsthand from older family members, ranging from hang-drying clothes to driving in ways that reduce wear and tear on their cars.

"My grandma rinsed and reused foil until it crumbled," one user wrote. "I rolled my eyes then, now I catch myself doing it. Funny how those 'silly' habits end up smart."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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