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Hospice nurse reveals the exact time most people die and the reasons why are fascinating

It's called the "letting go hour"

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There is a three hour window of time when most dying people pass away.

Death is hard to think about and harder still to talk about. Some people get panic attacks just imagining the inevitable end of their life. It's an extremely uncomfortable and inescapable fact of living. For some people, learning as much as they can about what it's like and how it works is the one thing that brings them a little bit of comfort.

That's where Julie McFadden comes in. McFadden has been working as a hospice nurse for nine years. She has been educating people about the dying process on social media for almost as long, racking up millions of views with her gentle, reassuring, and highly informative FAQs.

In a recent video, Hospice Nurse Julie tackles a big, scary question: What time do people usually die? And can we actually predict someone's time of death?

"When is the most common time to die? I think you might be surprised what research says," she begins the video.

McFadden says even she was surprised when she started digging into the data and research. She noted that in her own work, she hasn't really seen a trend, but after poring through studies and speaking to colleagues throughout the hospice industry, she was taken aback to discover there was a clear answer to her question.

"Research and anecdotal evidence... it does show that most people die between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.," she says. She explains that some professionals refer to this window as the "letting go hour."

Other studies and experts have a slightly different take, citing the most common time as 6 a.m.—8 a.m., or even peaking at 11 a.m. But the truth remains that there is a definitive pattern of a high percentage of people passing away in the wee hours of the morning or middle of the night.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"So, why does that happen? That's where my brain went. And to me, the reason why is the most fascinating part," she explains.

There are a few different factors, McFadden says, that explain such a narrow death window. The first relates to the normal cycle of our body's energy and alertness.

"Biologically, we have a circadian rhythm... And between the hours of two and five, that is when our body's energy level is the lowest. Our temperatures drop, our blood pressure drops, and our breathing slows."

She mentions that those late night/early morning hours are also typically very quiet, without a lot of interruption and stimulation that might unwittingly keep a patient engaged with the outside world. "There's less people kind of trying to hold you there."

The dying person's personality also plays a role. McFadden says she sees over and over that some patients will wait until the entire family arrives before they "let go," while others will wait until things are quiet and they're alone. More outgoing people may wait to be surrounded before they pass, while introverts may prefer to pass in solitude. For the folks who prefer peace and quiet, those nighttime hours make a lot of sense.

death, dying, death doula, hospice, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, love, family, fear, afterlifeLearning about death is uncomfortable, but it helps us in the long run. Photo by Sijmen van Hooff on Unsplash

McFadden then shared a pretty wild story of a patient of hers who "chose" when to die. Viewers then chimed in with their own.

Most people who have lost a loved one absolutely insist that dying people are aware of, and have some level of control over, when they decide to let go. You should watch McFadden's video to hear her best story, but the comments were full of even more.

"My good friend Donna was dying in hospice from a brain tumor and a week before she passed things looked pretty grave so she wasn't expected to last another 2 days. Her sister was by her side and said it's okay you can go but she opened her eyes and said no I'm not going yet I'm waiting for my birthday, I'm dying on my birthday. Her birthday was a week away and no one thought she would make it but she did. Her sister whispered in her ear 'today is your Birthday Sis you made it' and then she passed within the hour," one user shared.

"My grandmother was actively dying for two weeks and held on until the wee hours of the first of the month. She was concerned about getting her social security check to help the family," said another.

"About a week before my 93 year old mom died, she adamently said a few times to me and others she was leaving the following Tuesday. At first I thought she meant she's going out... That Tuesday comes and it was clear she was probably not going to make it to end of the week. I was aware of her comments from the week before but didn't think it would happen that day. She died at 11:12 pm that night, on the day she said she was leaving. She knew."

"While not quite the same thing as 'predicted,' my mother said 'they' told her when she was going to pass away -- to the minute. 'They' being the people visiting her and promising to help her during her visioning experiences. She said they had shown her where she was going to go. She died at exactly the time her visioning-visitors had told her."

The stories shared by the hundreds in the comments to McFadden's video are heart-wrenching, but ultimately extremely hopeful.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @skinnysketch19 the transitioning phase #hospicenursejulie #caregiversoftiktok #dementia #education #medicaltok #learnontiktok #science #STEM

McFadden doesn't want her viewers who may have a loved one who's dying to be more anxious and nervous during the night, worrying and potentially losing sleep.

"People are going to do it when they do it. Their body is going to let go when the body is ready to let go. All you can do is be there for your loved one the best you can."

She reiterates that, even for someone like her who has seen and helped many patients cross over from this world to the next, that death is a mystery. As much as we can continue to learn and understand new aspects of it, we'll never fully know what it's like until we experience it ourselves.

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Gen Z manager shares the time-off requests she's rejected, and people are here for it

This is a refreshing approach to leadership.

@bunchesofbeggs/TikTok

This Manager think PTO is for vacation, not "life changing events."

What does it take to be a good boss? You can answer this a bajillion different ways—being a clear communicator, earning employee trust, providing constructive feedback, and fostering a positive and supportive work environment while also being open to feedback and recognizing your team's contributions—but really, it all seems to stem from respecting your employees as fellow human beings.

And part of that means acknowledging that these employees have lives that are, frankly, more important to them than the job, and not penalizing them for it. One manager, and Gen Zer no less, seems to fully understand this basic principle, and folks are applauding her for it.

Elizabeth Beggs, who manages a five-person team for a packaging distribution company in Virginia, recently made a TikTok sharing which time-off requests she “rejects.”You’ll see why “rejects” is in quotes shortly.

One example: when a female rep notified Beggs that she was likely having a miscarriage. After the team member asked how she can file for time off to see to the issue, Beggs immediately responded, “Girl, go to the doctor! We’re not submitting time off for that!”

In Beggs’ mind, PTO is for “vacation,” not medical emergencies. What a concept.

@bunchesofbeggs Edited to clarify- 1. My team is all salary. 2. These examples are not all recent or from my current position. 3. My team works hard and hits thier KPIs above and beyond. Time off is meant to recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events #mangers #corporate #genzmanagers #sales #vetstocorporate #veterans ♬ original sound - Elizabeth


Beggs went on to explain a couple more situations, like when a parent who was “up all night” with a sick kid. And her last one wasn’t even negative—she had an employee who wanted to work a half-day to do something nice for their anniversary.

“Seriously, if any of these triggered anyone, then you need to evaluate how you run your team as a manager,” she concluded.

By and large, the response to Beggs’ management style has been overwhelmingly positive, and people seem to find it completely refreshing.

“You are not a manager, you’re a LEADER,” one person wrote.

@bunchesofbeggs Everything you do should be to better your team, not to make your life easier #leadership #ownership #corporatelife #veteran #military ♬ original sound - Elizabeth

Another said,“The better you treat your employees, the more loyal they will be and the better work they will put out. Most people do not understand how management works.”

A few noted how this attitude seems to be more present among younger leaders.

One person commented, "millennial manager here. My team members are human first, employees second. Like just go do what you want but get the work done too.”

Another joked that “Boomer managers could NEVER.”

Beggs would later clarify this doesn’t mean she doesn't have clear productivity expectations for her team (who work on salary). Perhaps if she had a team member not making their KPIs (key performance indicator), there would be an additional conversation surrounding time off, but there is still an inherent respect as a fellow human being. Which, to her, means treating bona fide time- off as a way to “recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events.”

@bunchesofbeggs If you’re planning does not account for people being human- it’s bad planning #genzleaders #armyvet #militaryvet #genz #corporatelife #corporate #manager #timeoff ♬ original sound - Elizabeth

Younger generations might get labeled “lazy” or “entitled,” but they are also the ones fighting to change the status quo, so that we all may be treated less like cogs in the machine, and more like actual human beings. Its leaders like Beggs who show that operating in new ways doesn't compromise productivity, and in fact enhances it. We might not be able to change the global standard overnight, but we certainly aren’t going to get to a better place without leaders who choose to serve their community rather than a bottom line.

This article originally appeared in March

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Wellness

Woman leaves bachelorette trip after trusting her gut about sketchy men partying with friends

Woman's intuition is right again.

via Nathan Rupert/Flickr

Some girls out at a bachelorette party.

In a since-deleted story posted on Reddit last year, one woman showed how sometimes trusting your gut can be the best thing you can do, even if following it will seriously impact your friendships. It all started when a 24-year-old woman with the username @Yslbabycat went to a bachelorette party with five other friends in Italy.

For brevity’s sake, we’ll call our main character "YBC." One night, the six girls went bar and club hopping and met some new friends. “We met some young people, and they invited us to a party. We went and danced and met more people. The night kept going on longer, and we were very far from our lodgings. These young men with 2 women in their group told us to stay with them for the night,” she wrote.

That’s when she had the first strong gut feeling.

suspicious, distrust, gut feeling, wary, suspicionsomeone vision GIFGiphy

“I wasn’t feeling this situation. It felt unsafe, but the group voted and I was in the minority,” she continued. ”I didn’t trust these men. Something seemed wrong. But I was at a loss as I could not split from my group and didn’t feel safe separating from them in the middle of the night.”

Even though the girls locked their doors that night, the men could enter their rooms. Despite this the girls, besides YBC, all wanted to stay another day because the men promised to show them around Italy.

“I didn’t want to get into a car with them because I found them creepy. There were women in their group but it didn’t matter. They seemed even more suspicious to me, being overly friendly,” she continued. “The whole morning, I found the men staring at me a lot and also making some comments about my ethnicity—I am Korean and they could tell and it seemed that they were interested in me because of my ethnicity, asking me strange questions …including if I’m a virgin or not.. so in my head I could only think of perverted reasons for these questions because I thought these guys were sketchy and sizing us all up for some reason I couldn’t figure out yet.”

YBC's friends tried to tell her that it was just cultural differences and that the men weren’t being creepy, but she decided that she wanted to leave. So, she called her boyfriend, who was a few hours’ drive away in France, to come get her. She met him at a local store where YBC called the bride-to-be and informed her she was leaving. The bride-to-be screamed at her on the phone, chastised her for spoiling the “mood of the trip,” and told YBC to, essentially, “F*** off.”

angry, phone call, fight, woman, friendsWoman fussing on phone.Canva Photos.

After YBC left, the other five girls went on a boat with the men who all tried to get them “extremely” intoxicated. They then began to aggressively pressure the girls into having sex. At the night's end, the girls got away from the men and found another hotel. Even though YBC’s suspicions were confirmed, the bride-to-be was still upset with her and YBC did not attend her friend’s wedding.

In the end, Reddit commenters overwhelmingly thought that YBC did the right thing by trusting her gut:

“So all the other girls but the bachelorette confirmed that you were right and the guys were super creepy and yet the bachelorette is still pissed at you for getting yourself out of there?” user @YouSayWotNow wrote. “All of them are very lucky nothing really bad happened, and frankly, they should be embarrassed they didn't take you seriously at the time.”

“You may have saved the entire group by leaving early, as the men realized that you knew where they lived and could ID them,” user @RobinC1967 added. “Please don't ever feel bad for getting yourself out of a sketchy situation. Stay Smart!”

Most would agree that YBC did the right thing by trusting her gut and trying to lead her friends out of a potentially dangerous situation. Science supports her actions, too. According to a 2015 Psychology Todayarticle entitled, “3 Reasons Why You Have to Trust Your Gut,” philosopher and writer Susanna Newsonen says that your intuition is encoded in your brain like “a web of fact and feeling” and is helpful because it’s “shaped by your past experiences and the existing knowledge that you gained from them.”

Following your intuition can be hard, especially when there's no concrete "evidence" for why you feel the way you do. In a 2024 article for VeryWellMind, writer and instructor LaKeisha Fleming helps identify the times when your gut is trying to tell you something and the top times you really need to listen. First, Fleming walks the reader through the signs of intuition—the physical and emotional cues that your body has something important to say:

  • Tension in the body or a thought that won't go away
  • Heaviness like a "pit" in your stomach
  • A strong feeling that you should or shouldn't do something (go somewhere, talk to someone, avoid some place, etc.)
  • The hairs on the back of your neck stand upright before something frightening happens

intuition, gut feeling, discernment, body, listenListen to your body. Canva Photos.

Of course, Fleming notes, anxiety, trauma, and regular old overthinking can skew our intuition, so how do you know when to trust it? She notes the top four times you shouldn't ignore your gut:

1. When it comes to your and others' safety:

Does something seem off? Err on the side of caution and just listen to yourself. It could save you from danger like in YBC's case.

2. When you body is sending signals about your health:

If your body is experiencing persistent symptoms like headaches and migraines, sudden weight change, nagging pains, unusual sensations, or digestive issues, they could be signs something is wrong internally or externally. Do you get a stomachache around a certain person? Does being in someone's company make you feel nervous? Do you feel mostly fine except for this nagging pain that won't go away? Pay attention to these cues.

3. When something feels "off" in a relationship:

Sure, it could be nothing, but it doesn't hurt to check in if your romantic partner or friend is acting strangely, making you feel uneasy, or arousing suspicion. Gauge the severity of your feelings and plan how to respectfully connect, confront, or question the other person to understand what's really going on.

4. When you doubt yourself:

A lot of times, self-doubt is the ever-pesky imposter syndrome rearing its head. Sometimes you may be picking up on legitimate shortcomings within yourself that you need more time to identify and improve (signed up for a marathon but haven't trained or practiced much at all? Yeah, maybe listen to your body and sit the race out this time), but most other times, self-doubt is insecurity, which can be overcome. If you know you're trained, educated, and skilled in a certain area, there's a good chance you know what you're doing and will do it well.

In short, your gut will seldom steer your wrong. If you've got a bad feeling like YBC did, trust yourself and act accordingly. It could save your life.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Wellness

‘Cozymaxxing’: The real science behind everyone’s new favorite stress antidote

“It’s like hygge on steroids.”

Photo credit: TikTok (@cozy.games)

Spaces that maximize and prioritize coziness can lead to unbelievable health benefits.

Everyone seems desperate to find something that works for them to live a happier, healthier life, whether competing in 90-minute “space-out competitions” or starting their day at 5:30 am. What are we fighting against, exactly? Chaos. Constant overstimulation. Endless notifications. Economic uncertainty. Burnout at work, burnout at home, and burnout with friends and family. Enter: Cozymaxxing, the latest viral trend sweeping the Internet that asks: What if making our homes as cozy as possible leads to increased mental health?

There is no better feeling than when science confirms your favorite things—delicious cured lox salmon packed with all its glorious fatty acids, swearing like a sailor, and keeping secrets are, in fact, really good for you. And now, you can add cozymaxxing to that list. Scientists are finding that making your space as cozy as humanly possible—effectively, “maxing” it out—can lead to improved health benefits, including lower cortisol levels and better sleep.


cozy, bedroom, warm lighting, blankets, rugIs cozymaxxing the ultimate stress antidote? Science says yes. Photo credit: Canva

Online, cozymaxxing is a choose-your-own adventure trend, with creators showing off their various plush, inches-thick blankets; soft lighting (the trick is to never use overhead bulbs), candles that flicker and smell of your favorite scent (I’m partial to spiced apple toddy, a gift from my mom that’s sitting on my desk right now); and an obligatory mug filled with something nice and warm. For them, it’s not about the furniture you buy or the size of the apartment you live in: cozymaxxing is a state of mind. By using a few tools, like soft lighting and engaging the senses, any moment or space can become “cozy-maxxed,” transforming your current environment into an absolute haven.

As user @cozy.games explains while touring her cozy-maxxed room, “The concept of a cozy hobby room was something I dreamed up years ago when I thought, ‘Hmmm, not quite a craft room, not quite a library, but not a gaming room either!’ As a hobby hoarder, this is the perfect solution! Everything mushed together in the perfect little escape.”

You have to admit, the room looks darn cozy.


There’s a reading nook lit by the gauzy glow of a paper lantern. There's a large circular chair is an especially enticing focal point, with its opulent, white and fluffy blanket, decorative gingham pillow, and a teeny stuffed rabbit (for company). The duo-use gaming and craft center sits up against the window, where she’s set up an ergonomic desk and chair, along with a pastel-hued keyboard and dozens and dozens of different colored pens. “While a lot of gaming happens here,” creator @cozy.games narrates, “this is where I spread out and do a lot of my more artistic, hands-on hobbies.”

The comments are bright with praise: “Your cozy hobby room is a dream!” writes one person. “I would never leave that room,” says another.

Other commenters fantasize about their future cozymaxxing, with one writing, “This is how I plan to fill my kids' rooms once they are grown and out.”

How is cozymaxxing different from hygge?

Getting snuggly and comfortable are not new concepts, and cozymaxxing itself draws on traditions including “nesting” and hygge. However, as a marketing and branding company, Boxwood, points out that although hygge and cozymaxxing share similarities, they are not the same. “Cozymaxxing is not to be confused with the Danish concept of hygge,” they write. “Hygge emphasizes simplified, comfortable atmospheres and a sense of well-being. It involves creating an uncluttered, inviting environment, often through warm lighting, comfortable textiles, and shared moments with loved ones.”


cozy, bed, comfort, blanket, mug Consider cozymaxxing “hygge on steroids.”Photo credit: Canva


However, cozymaxxing is inherently not minimalist. Consider it “hygge on steroids.” Boxwood describes the difference like this: “[Cozymaxxing] has a more maximalist bent that embraces collecting and layering rather than Hygge, which focuses on decluttering and simplifying.”

Cozymaxxing began to take off online on platforms like TikTok and YouTube at the beginning of 2025. Martha Stewart’s website describes cozymaxxing as “the practice of engaging in multiple self-soothing activities that center around your senses and embody the true essence of comfort. There is no right or wrong way to practice cozymaxxing, as long as you’re doing things that bring on feelings of comfort and calm.”

So, why is cozymaxxing having a moment right now?


There are multiple reasons why this intentional and serene approach to life might be so enticing, such as:

  1. Burnout: Ken Fierheller, registered psychotherapist at One Life Counseling & Coaching, tells Healthline, “People are burnt out and looking for ways to create little pockets of peace in their lives.” He continues, “There are a lot of stressors in the world right now, and finding little moments of feeling safe and cozy is a great way to relax and de-stress.”
  2. Rejection of hustle culture: In a world where people are trying to maximize so many other parts of their lives, cozymaxxing rejects the idea that life needs to be “perfected” or that the “grind never stops.” In fact, it’s healthy to take pauses: “People are increasingly rejecting the glorification of busyness and hustle culture, opting instead for self-care and balance,” says Ritika Suk Birah, consultant counseling psychologist and founder of Reflect with Dr. Ritz.
  3. Post-pandemic effects: Now that many of us are embracing life at home in a new way, whether that be efficient work from home set-ups, or novel parenting techniques, cozymaxxing offers a way for people to re-discover the power of their personal spaces. Dr. Suk Birah adds, “Economic stress, climate anxiety, and political instability make people crave a sense of safety and control, and we often find this in cozy, familiar environments.”
  4. Health benefits:VeryWellHealth states cozymaxxing is “a minimum-effort way to manage your mental health and relieve stress.” By making time for yourself and bringing an awareness to comfort and ritual creation, cozymaxxing can have a variety of health benefits, including emotional regulation, improved sleep, and reduced cortisol levels.


How to incorporate cozymaxxing into your own life

Inspired? Well, then it’s time to get cozy. Remember, there is no wrong or “right” way to cozymax; it’s all about finding what works best for you.

  • Create a cozy corner: Like creator @cozy.games, designate a spot in your home for rest, then max out the space out with plush blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals.
  • Turn the lights down: Instead of harsh overhead lighting, opt for softer, dimmer choices like table lamps, string lights, candles, or salt lamps. An essential oil diffuser with a soft light option, like this one from Muji, can make a world of difference.
  • Warm beverage ritual: What’s cozier than having a warm mug in your hand? This may take finessing, but find what brew works for you: try decaffeinated options, like lavender, peppermint, fennel, barley, chrysanthemum, or Sleepytime Tea.
  • Escape into soundscapes: Lure yourself into coziness by playing soft, soothing music in the background, binaural beats, or nature sounds. For an extra-sensory kick, use noise-cancelling headphones.
  • Scent and ambiance are key: Comforting scents like vanilla, sandalwood, or pine can send cues to the body that it’s time to relax.

The best part about cozymaxxing? You don’t need to spend money. “Don’t feel like you have to buy all the things that are shown in those TikTok videos to practice cozymaxxing,” reports licensed mental health counselor Amber Kinney. “What works for one person might not work for another.” So, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, try dialing up the vibes with cozymaxxing. Your nervous system might thank you.

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