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Mental Health

27-year-old who died of cancer left behind final advice that left the internet in tears

"Don't feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life. You might want a mediocre life and that is so OK."

cancer, life advice, philosophy, grief
Photo courtesy of Remembering Holly Butcher/Facebook used with permission.

Holly Butcher left behind her best life advice before she passed away at 27.

The world said goodbye to Holly Butcher, a 27-year-old woman from Grafton, Australia.

Butcher had been battling Ewing's sarcoma, a rare bone cancer that predominantly affects young people. In a statement posted on Butcher's memorialized Facebook account, her brother, Dean, and partner, Luke, confirmed the heartbreaking news to friends.

"It is with great sadness that we announce Holly's passing in the early hours of this morning," they wrote on Jan. 4, 2018. "After enduring so much, it was finally time for her to say goodbye to us all. The end was short and peaceful; she looked serene when we kissed her forehead and said our final farewells. As you would expect, Holly prepared a short message for you all, which will be posted above."

Butcher's message, which Dean and Luke did, in fact, post publicly shortly thereafter, has brought the internet to tears.

We believe her powerful message — which has amassed an incredible 72,000 Likes and 56,000 shares across the world so far — deserves to be spread far and wide.

Butcher used her final post to reflect on what she's learned in her short but beautiful life, offering some advice to those of us who are willing to listen.

"It's a strange thing to [realize] and accept your mortality at 26 years young," she began. "I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and gray — most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That's the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right."

Butcher's poignant post is definitely worth reading in full. But here are 16 especially powerful points:

1. "I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all, so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. ... Those times you are [whining] about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It's OK to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people's days."

2. "Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that — breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. ... I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I'm watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more."

cherishing today, thoughts on life, premature death, youth, family

Holly Butcher shares a big smile for the camera.

Photo courtesy of Remembering Holly Butcher/Facebook used with permission.

3. "I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise — be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things…until your body doesn't allow you to do either of them… Appreciate your good health and functioning body — even if it isn't your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is."

4. "Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; more than I could ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people."

5. "This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn't have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus, imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves ... strange! ... but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. ... Anyway, moral of the story — presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas."

6. "Use your money on experiences ... or at least don't miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water."

7. "Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn't meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo."

music is therapy, love, courtesy, life and death, positive messages

"Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them..." Holly Butcher.

Photo courtesy of Remembering Holly Butcher/Facebook used with permission.

8. "Listen to music ... really listen. Music is therapy."

9. "Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that."

10. "Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing OK?"

11. "Travel if it's your desire, don't if it's not."

12. "Work to live, don't live to work."

13. "Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy."

14. "Don't feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life. You might want a mediocre life and that is so OK."

15. "Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have."

16. "Oh and one last thing. If you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year — a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life."

Butcher may be gone, but her impact will live on in the hearts and minds of people around the world.

"Never [met] her, but I am very touched and in tears," one Facebook user commented. "Such a bright light for a seemingly dark world at times," another chimed in. "Beautiful."

"What a wise soul she is," someone concluded. "I'm off to donate my blood."

Rest in peace, Holly. You made this world a better place. ❤️

If you are in the U.S. and inspired by Butcher's message, consider finding a blood donation center near you. You could save a life.



This article originally appeared on 01.08.18


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Animals & Wildlife

6th grader's science experiment answers, 'Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?'

A question no one knew they needed answered.

Photo courtesy of Kerry Hyde

Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on? Science answers.

Cat owners sometimes have unique questions that even Google doesn't always have the answer to. This is probably the sole reason cat forums exist, but one kid who needed a 6th grade science project decided to skip the cat forums for answers and instead use the scientific method. Kaeden Henry, a sixth grader living in Florida, bravely pondered a question few (if any one) has been brave enough to ask: do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?

Since cats do whatever the heck they want, training them not to jump on kitchen counters is a feat even Hercules struggles to complete. These fierce felines don't care if you're cooking dinner or trying to get comfy in bed. If they want to sit somewhere, they're going to do it. The thought of cat butts on that expensive Serta pillow designed to feel like you're sleeping on a cloud can gross people out, but thanks to Kaeden, you no longer have to wonder if the butthole itself is also making contact.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The curious sixth grader is homeschooled and well-versed in the scientific method thanks to her mother's PhD in animal behavior with a concentration in feline behavior. And, since they own cats, the science experiment was pretty straightforward (and directly impactful).

To complete the experiment, Henry and his mom, Kerry Hyde, bought non-toxic lipstick and applied it to each of their cat's anuses. Then, the cats were given commands.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"Non-toxic lipstick was applied to their bum-bums, they were then given a series of commands (sit, wait, lie down, and jump up. Side note: Both cats have been trained since kittenhood with a variety of commands, they also know how to high-five, spin around, and speak.), they were compensated with lots of praise, pets, and their favorite treats, and the lipstick was removed with a baby wipe once we collected our data in just under 10 minutes," Hyde wrote in a Facebook post.

The results? Turns out that, no, cat buttholes do not touch every surface cats sit on. Now, let's all take a collective sigh of relief while we go over the details. Kaeden's experiment covered long-haired, short-haired, and medium-haired cats (if your cat is hairless, you better stock up on Clorox wipes just in case).

"His results and general findings: Long and medium haired cat’s buttholes made NO contact with soft or hard surfaces at all. Short haired cats made NO contact on hard surfaces. But we did see evidence of a slight smear on the soft bedding surface. Conclusion, if you have a short haired cat and they may be lying on a pile of laundry, an unmade bed, or other soft uneven surface, then their butthole MAY touch those surfaces!" Hyde shares.

Now every curious cat owner can rest easy knowing that as long as their cat has hair, their bare bottom balloon knot is not touching the majority of surfaces in their home.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The amusing experiment caught the Internet's attention. People laughed and commented, with one person writing, "This is probably the most useful information I’ve learned from a science fair project."

"Good to know!...I can now eat my sandwich left on the counter with confidence!" another writes.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"A+++!!! Whew!! I am very grateful for your sciencing on this subject. My fears from walking in on my cat sitting on my laptop keyboard and subsequently being grossed out and cleaning furiously in a hyper-ocd manner have been somewhat allayed and now maybe I won’t have to use QUIIITE so many wipes." someone chimes in.

"Finally.. Someone answers the important questions!!"

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Family

'It's not Little Sun': Mom can't believe she's having trouble pronouncing her newborn's name

She had no idea this would be a problem.

via JustusMoms29/TikTok (used with permission)

Justus Stroup is starting to realize her baby's name isn't that common.

One of the many surprises that come with parenthood is how the world reacts to your child’s name. It’s less of a surprise if your child has a common name like John, Mohammed, or Lisa. But if you give your child a non-traditional name that’s gender-neutral, you’re going to throw a lot of folks off guard, and mispronunciations are going to be an issue.

This exact situation happened with TikTok user Justus Stroup, who recently had her second child, but there’s a twist: she isn’t quite sure how to pronounce her child’s name either. "I may have named my daughter a name I can't even pronounce," Stroup opens the video. "Now, I think I can pronounce it, but I've told a couple of people her name, and there are two people who thought I said the same exact thing. So, I don't know that I know how to [pronounce] her name correctly."

@justusmoms29

Just when you think you name your child something normal! #2under2mom #postpartum #newborn #momsoftiktok #uniquenames #babyname #babygirl #sahm #momhumor

Stroup’s daughter is named Sutton, and the big problem is how people around her pronounce the Ts. Stroup tends to gloss over the Ts, so it sounds like Suh-en. However, some people go hard on the Ts and call her “Sut-ton.”

"I'm not gonna enunciate the 'Ts' like that. It drives me absolutely nuts," she noted in her TikTok video. "I told a friend her name one time, and she goes, 'Oh, that's cute.' And then she repeated the name back to me and I was like, 'No, that is not what I said.'"

Stroup also had a problem with her 2-year-old son’s speech therapist, who thought the baby’s name was Sun and that there weren’t any Ts in the name at all. "My speech therapist, when I corrected her and spelled it out, she goes, 'You know, living out in California, I have friends who named their kids River and Ocean, so I didn't think it was that far off.'"


Stroup told People that she got the name from a TV show called “The Lying Game,” which she used to watch in high school. "Truthfully, this was never a name on my list before finding out I was pregnant with a girl, but after finding out the gender, it was a name I mentioned and my husband fell in love with," says Stroup. "I still love the name. I honestly thought I was picking a strong yet still unique name. I still find it to be a pretty name, and I love that it is gender neutral as those are the type of names I love for girls."

The mother could choose the name because her husband named their son Greyson.

The commenters thought Stroup should tell people it’s Sutton, pronounced like a button. “I hear it correctly! Sutton like Button. I would pronounce it like you, too!” Amanda wrote.

“My daughter’s name is Sutton. I say it the same way as you. When people struggle with her name, I say it’s Button but with a S. That normally immediately gets them to pronounce it correctly,” Megan added.

After the video went viral, Stroup heard from people named Hunter and Peyton, who are dealing with a similar situation. “I've also noticed the two most common names who run into the same issue are Hunter (people pronouncing it as Hunner or HUNT-ER) and Payton (pronounced Pey-Ton or Pey-tin, most prefer it as Pey-tin),” she told Upworthy.

baby, newborn baby, baby girl, baby girl teddy, teddy bear, sleeping babyA newborn baby with her Teddy bear. (Representative image)via Canva/Photos

“Another person commented saying her name is Susan and people always think it is Season or Steven,” Stroup told Upworthy. After having her second child, she learned that people mix up even the simplest names. “No name is safe at this point,” she joked.

The whole situation has Stroup rethinking how she pronounces her daughter’s name. Hopefully, she got some advance on how to tell people how to pronounce it, or else she’ll have years of correcting people in front of her. "Good lord, I did not think this was going to be my issue with this name," she said.

Three months later, Stroup posted a video asking her TikTok followers for help giving Sutton a nickname. She said it was easy with her son, Greyson, because they can just call him Grey. But Sutton is a little more difficult. Her father calls her "Tonton," which drives Stroup up the wall. "You cannot be calling a girl Tonton," she exclaimed. Stroup's followers suggested they call her "Sutty," but the name she really liked was "Sunny."

@justusmoms29

Calling all Sutton’s to the conversation! #nicknames #momsoftiktok #momof2 #sahm #toddlermom #newborn #postpartum

This article originally appeared last year.

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Science

Innovative farm in Virginia can grow 4 million pounds of strawberries on less than one acre

This method uses 97 percent less land and up to 90 percent less water than conventional farming.

Photo credit: Canva

A new way to grow strawberries with less land, less water, and more berries.

Strawberry farm harvests aren't something most of us calculate on a regular basis (or ever at all), but the numbers from a strawberry farm in Richmond, Virginia, are staggering enough to make it worth an old-school word problem. If the average American eats 8 pounds of strawberries a year, and an average strawberry farm yields approximately 20,000 pounds of berries per acre, how many people could a 200-acre strawberry field feed?

I won't make you do the math. The answer is 500,000 people. But what if a crop that size, providing enough strawberries for half a million people, could be grown on just one acre instead of 200? It's possible. You just have to go—or rather grow—up, up, up.

Indoor vertical farm company Plenty Unlimited knows a lot about growing up. In fact, it's their entire business model. Instead of the sprawling fields that traditional farming methods require, vertical farms have a much smaller land footprint, utilizing proprietary towers for growing. Plenty has used vertical farming methods to grow greens such as lettuce, kale, spinach and more for years, but now it boasts a vertical berry farm that can yield a whopping 4 million pounds of strawberries on a little less than an acre.

Growing indoors means not being at the mercy of weather or climate inpredictability (barring a storm taking out your building), which is wise in the era of climate change. Unlike a traditional greenhouse which still uses the sun for light, Plenty's indoor vertical farms make use of the latest technology and research on light, pinpointing the wavelengths plants need from the sun to thrive and recreating them with LED lights. Plenty farms also don't use soil, as what plants really need is water and nutrients, which can be provided without soil (and with a lot less water than soil requires). Being able to carefully control water and nutrients means you can more easily control the size, taste and uniformity of the berries you’re growing.

If that sounds like a lot of control, it is. And that idea might freak people out. But when a highly controlled environment means not having to use pesticides and using up to 90% less water than traditional farming, it starts to sound like a solid, sustainable farming innovation.

Plenty even uses AI in its strawberry farm, according to its website:

“Every element of the Plenty Richmond Farm–including temperature, light and humidity–is precisely controlled through proprietary software to create the perfect environment for the strawberry plants to thrive. The farm uses AI to analyze more than 10 million data points each day across its 12 grow rooms, adapting each grow room’s environment to the evolving needs of the plants – creating the perfect environment for Driscoll’s proprietary plants to thrive and optimizing the strawberries’ flavor, texture and size.”

Plenty even has its own patent-pending method of pollinating the strawberry flowers that doesn’t require bees. Even just the fact that this enormous crop of strawberries will be coming from Virginia is notable, since the vast majority of strawberries in the U.S. are grown in California.

strawberry fieldTraditional strawberry farming takes up a lot of land.Photo credit: Canva

Plenty's Richmond farm is currently growing strawberries exclusively for Driscoll’s.

“Partnering with Plenty for the launch of the Richmond Farm allows us to bring our premium strawberries closer to consumers in the Northeast, the largest berry consumption region in the U.S.,” Driscoll’s CEO Soren Bjorn said in a press release. “By combining our 100 years of farming expertise and proprietary varieties along with Plenty’s cutting-edge technology, we can deliver the same consistent flavor and quality our customers love — now grown locally. This new innovative farm is a powerful step forward in continuing to drive category growth in new ways for our customers and consumers.”

Is Plenty’s model the farm of the future? Perhaps it’s one option, at least. The more we grapple with the impact of climate change and outdated, unsustainable farming practices, the more innovative ideas we’ll need to feed the masses. If they can get 4 million pounds of strawberries out of an acre of land, what else is possible?

This article originally appeared in February

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Education

Mom is shocked when her daughter says state writing exams don’t involve writing anymore

“Are you saying that in the 1900s you had to hand write all of your exams?”

Photo credit: Canva

Mom shocked after daughter reveals there's no writing in state writing exam.

State standardized testing isn't something that most kids or parents look forward to. They're typically long, boring, and don't accurately measure how well every child understands the information they've been taught throughout the year. But it's currently the only way for states to get measurable data on the education happening in public schools.

Erin Monroe was driving her daughter to school when she learned her daughter had state testing in English Language Arts (ELA). To no one's surprise, Monroe's daughter was not thrilled about taking state testing, especially for a test that likely required a lot of reading and writing. This was Monroe's time to shine by pulling out her pep talking and comforting skills to ensure her 6th grader had positive words to remember during testing.

season 7 episode 6 GIFGiphy

The mom wasn't prepared for the emotional whiplash she was about to endure when her daughter dropped the truth of her ELA exam. There's no manual writing involved.

"I was like, I get it. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of reading and writing but we all had to do it. Just do your very best and get to it, I know your hand's going to really be hurting at the end of the day," Monroe recalls about the conversation with her confused daughter before reiterating to her child that it involves a lot of writing.

This bit of information not only confused but amused the middles schooler who came back with a bit of a reality check for the mom by giving her the amusing truth of today. "And she goes, 'wait, are you trying...are you saying that in the 1900s you had to handwrite all of your exams?'"

diane guerrero latina GIF by IdentityGiphy

She threw in the 1900s. THE. 1900s. As if to make it seem like this millennial mom was really riding in a buggy trying to survive dysentery. After the insult and revelation that there was no handwriting involved in the state ELA test, Monroe jokingly kicked her daughter out of her car.

"You're trying to tell me you're complaining about doing your exam and you get to type it? Um, absolutely not. First of all don't call it the early 1900s and it was good character development," Monroe says she told her daughter.

@erin.monroe_ #millennial #millennialmom #fyp ♬ original sound - Erin Monroe

There's something about the reminder of growing up in the "1900s" that just takes the wind out of your metaphorical sailboat. Viewers of the video were equally amused and shocked by this seemingly new information with one person recalling, "The fear they instilled in us for not having #2 pencils."

"Do the blue books not exist anymore?!?!?!?!?" someone demanded to know.

"My kids literally said their state tests are on their laptops & I wholeheartedly got mad for a second, if you don’t give these kids a scantron!!!!!!!" another chimes in.

Dexters Laboratory Type GIFGiphy

"I still have the calluses on my index finger… 20 years later," someone else jokes.

"My 6th grader was also complaining about her writing exam and it never even occurred to me that she wasn't actually writing.. I'm going to go sit in the rocking chair and watch Wheel of Fortune," another commenter writes.

"I was showing kids the 'tools' they can use to take their test - ruler, highlighter, magnifier, etc. I'm the librarian and also teach some tech, but I used to teach 4th grade, so I was explaining that the last time I gave the test, it was on paper and the tools were cardstock. One of the kids said, 'What, in, like, 1965'?' I'm 49. Child."

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Joy

Rob Lowe's attempt to delight kids by dressing as the Easter Bunny goes hilariously wrong

Not even his celebrity status could spare him form this all-too-relatable parenting moment.

David Shankbone/Wikipedia, Oriental Trading

Rob Lowe (left) East Bunny costume (right)

When you’re a parent, sometimes those well-intentioned plans to add a little magic to your kid’s lives go off without a hitch, and other times…not so much. This goes especially for anything involving costumed characters. Santa, clowns, Disney mascots, you name it—they can either be a dream come true, or a living, screaming nightmare.

And that’s why a video showing actor Rob Lowe accidentally striking utter terror into the hearts of a few kids this past Easter Sunday feels like such a “stars, they're just like us” moment.

Lowe, who had apparently been celebrating the holiday with his Parks and Recreation co-star Chris Pratt, attempted to infuse some Easter joy by dressing up in an Easter Bunny costume. It even had a sky blue jacket and matching bowtie.

In an Instagram reel shared on April 21 by Pratt’s wife, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt, we first see Lowe getting into his ensemble.

“Rob, this looks incredible,” Schwarzenegger says.

Cut to a fully dressed Lowe Bunny making his grand entrance…to the sound of children screaming in horror. No amount of eggs scattered on the ground could quell their fears and pretty soon Lowe Bunny hops away in retreat.

Lowe later shows up, very sweaty and out of breath, to Easter lunch (sans Bunny costume) pretending like he has no idea what just happened.

"I just hopped on over when I heard he was here,” he quips, to which Pratt says "Oh, you missed him!"

Honestly the whole thing very much plays out like a classic Parks and Rec scene. Watch:

Down in the comments, people got a good chuckle at the relatable fiasco.

“The fact that this is real life and not a show is absolutely incredible.”

“The screaming children make it worth it 😂”

“Literally…the greatest Easter moment😂”

“Lmao he tried so hard 😂 poor bunny was falling apart 😂”

“It’s the cottontail and kid hysterics for me 😂”

One person even joked, “OMG John Stamos dressed as the Easter bunny at your brunch? 😋😂” referencing a funny moment that happened not three days prior, where a Hollywood tour guide accidentally mistook the West Wing actor for Stamos. Poor Lowe is having a week.

All jokes aside, it can be easy for adults to forget that young children's fear of costumes, also known as masklophobia, can stem from a few key factors. For one thing, they haven't yet developed the ability to differentiate between fantasy and reality, making it deeply unsettling for a character—whose life-sized version feels ginormous—to suddenly appear in real life.

Plus, masks present a slew of scaries. Kid's facial recognition skills are still developing, and they may find it unsettling to see a face hidden behind a mask or costume, especially if they're not used to it. Even for those youngsters who are adept at facial recognition, the static expression of a masked character can also seem intimidating because they are difficult to read and therefore hard to know what their intentions are.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Lastly, the whole thing might just be a little too much for kids who are sensitive to a lot of stimuli. That’s why it’s helpful for parents to be mindful of where a child’s limits are, and work around them. But hey, parenting mistakes happen. And once the screams are over, we can all have a good laugh about them.

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