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Millennials are debating if their generation should be categorized into three 'micro-generations'

"People born in 1981 vs 1996 had drastically different childhoods."

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Millennials debate if their generation should be split into 3 micro-generations.

Millennials, those born between 1981 and 1996, have never fully accepted that their generation can be lumped together. From Elder Millennials and Xennials relating more to Gen X, and some Millennials feeling closer to Gen Z, it's a generation still looking to be properly defined.

In an online forum discussing generational differences, Millennial member Bulletwbutterflywing (who was born in the late '80s), posed a controversial viewpoint about Millennials being categorized into three "micro-generations" that garnered a rich discussion among them.

 millennial, millennials, millennial gif, millennial culture, millennial generation Happy In Da Club GIF by Chris Mann  Giphy  

"I believe that there are three distinct micro generations of millennials," they wrote. "The internet and the iPhone in particular changed the way people relate to both time and one other so rapidly, and I think people born in 1981 vs 1996 had drastically different childhoods because of these changes."

They went on to add that class and geographic location are important impacts as well, before explaining that Millennials should not be lumped into one mega generation due to three main cultural markers: home internet, iPhones, and 9/11.

 aol, aol im, instant messenger, im, home internet sign in old school GIF  Giphy  

Home Internet: "I am using two years as a reference point: 1994, the year that AOL hit 1 million users. The overwhelming majority of Americans didn’t have home internet, however most had heard of AOL," they wrote. "And 1997: the year that AIM came out and people could connect with one another that way. By 1997, AOL had 10 million users and had started to become an integrated part of pop culture."

iPhones: "I am using 2007 as a reference point because this is the year the first iPhone was released. The majority of Americans would still have dumb phones, however most had heard of the iPhone," they wrote. "The iPhone essentially put the internet in your pocket, shifting the ways people could used both cellular and internet technologies."

9/11: "Millennials were ages 5-20 (school aged) on 9/11. The post 9/11 political environment shifted to one of surveillance and conservatism," they wrote. "I am also connecting this to culture/music, Clear Channel began censoring music which was 'lyrically questionable' in 2001. Music changed. If you know, you know."

 iphone, smart phone, iphones, iphone gif, smartphone Render Infinite Loop GIF by Trippyogi  Giphy  

Based on these three factors, they note that Millennials should be divided into three "micro-generations" based on their birth year: Older Millennials, True Millennials, and Younger Millennials.

Older Millennials: born 1981-1984 (ages 41-44 today)
Bulletwbutterflywing argues that Older Millennials were in middle school when AOL launched, and likely didn't have it until their later years (late high school and after). "Older Millennials largely had an analog childhood," they wrote. Older Millennials likely used iPhones as young adults who were early in their careers, and "probably understood the political and cultural implications [of 9/11]. Older Millennials clearly remember the world before 9/11."

True Millennials: born 1985- 1990 (ages 35-40 today)
For True Millennials, home internet and the boom of AOL was "peak during middle school and high school", according to Bulletwbutterflywing. iPhone use occurred late in high school, early college, or soon after entering the workforce. "They accessed the internet when sitting at a designated computer," they wrote. Finally, they note True Millennials "likely have clear memories of 9/11 and understood at least some of the implications", adding that they also "remember the world pre-9/11".

Younger Millennials: born 1991-1996 (ages 29- 34 today)
Finally, Younger Millennials "probably missed the peak of AIM and first texted on cell phones", and likely had an iPhone in middle school or high school. "They are more likely than Older and True Millennials to have entered the workforce with a smartphone," they wrote. As for 9/11, they were "young children between the ages of 5-10" and "likely remember 9/11 but didn’t understand the political or cultural implications of either the event nor the concurrent cultural shifts at the time. They likely have less memories of the world pre 9/11 (the youngest might not have memories at all)."

 millennials, millennial, millennial generation, millennial ages, millennial years season 4 nbc GIF by Blindspot  Giphy  

These differences completed their argument, with many Millennials chiming in on whether they agree or disagree with the assessment in an online debate. These are 8 of their differing thoughts:

"I would push back on the idea that younger Millennials don't remember the cultural impacts of 9/11. We absolutely do remember the anger and patriotism and changes that resulted from the event. For context I was born in 94. I remember our school making a American flag out of the handprints of the students. We also had classes wear corresponding shirts to take a group picture in the shape of the American flag. I also remember baseball games adding God Bless America to the second inning stretch. I remember (stupidly) thinking anyone with a turban was a terrorist. I remember going into the terminal when my dad would go on a business trip, then not being able to." - austinstudios

"Yes! I'm a late 80s millennial who remembers when we were 'Gen Y' before 'millennial' became a term/thing. The fact gen Y got swallowed into millennial, but Gen x & Gen z remained was always interesting to me." - OkPattern4844

 gen z, gen z gif, generation z, tiktok, smartphone Scrolling Tik Tok GIF by LiveChat  Giphy  

"I agree. I was born in '83 and consider myself a xennial. I have more in common with late Gen-X than core and late millennials. Those milestones ring pretty true for me. I remember my grandparents getting AOL when I was in middle school and how I'd love going over there to use it (took a few years to get it at home). I was 18 when 9/11 happened. Even though I'd used the internet for years by that point, I didn't use AIM until I went to college (I used AOL to message back home). I'm not even sure if I even had a dumb cell phone yet, but I do remember buying prepaid calling cards to call long distance." - queenquirk

"Yup - I agree with this. Born in 1990. I was 16ish when my home got a cellphone. I didn't get my own cellphone until I was 18 and went to college. One thing I disagree with is using 'iPhone' instead of generic smart phone. I have only ever used an iPhone from work and that wasn't until 2023 :P." N3rdyAvocad0

"Young gen X is much like the older millennial you describe. Hence the Xennial designation that overlaps both. Honestly, as technology advances faster, micro-izing generations just makes sense." - Ralinor

 gen x, generation x, gen xer, gen x gif, gen xers Gen X 80S GIF by Vikki Downey  Giphy  

"I’m a younger millennial and my partner is a mid millennial and even though there’s only 4 years difference, we often joke about how it feels that we were from different generations, my likes, speech etc blend more with gen z, whereas they talk about things that I was too young to really be in to or remember. I had a mobile phone in primary school (middle school or elementary for US, unsure but I was about 10), so have always texted etc, I remember some time before it and when home phones were the main thing you’d be using as mobile phones were expensive AF to call or message on, they have a lot of memory without one though but experienced the Internet before me. Our media likes differ wildly as well. It’s interesting, we were basically the last generation to remember not having internet but also the first to be raised on it, a lot happened in those 15 years - so it makes sense that the experience varies wildly." - fillemagique

"This is all so relative. It doesn't matter how you label it. You're still going to find holes in the characterizations no matter what. Under this I would be classified as a true millennial (1987) otherwise core millennials, But regardless of what I actually had and what was going on around me in my childhood and growing up I always felt "culturally" closer to early Millenials or Xennials. Sure I grew up with AIM and spent a lot of time on yahoo chat, But I also distinctly remember and cherish the analog period. Is not having a cell phone until 18 That much different than not having a cell phone until 23 for the millennial group, considering smartphones weren't a thing until 2007? Even when the first iPhone came out, I still didn't have a smartphone for a few years after the fact because iPhone was exclusive to ATT and Verizon didn't launch a competitor for like 2 years. Does does our experience vary that much? I'm just not convinced. Does me living through 9/11 as a 14-year-old provide that much of a difference in experience as opposed to you as an 18-year-old? Just doesn't seem likely for the majority of us. Sure, you can maybe remember bits more than I do, but the overall experience doesn't seem to be much different." Iamuroboros

"Everything for late Millennials applies to those born in 1997 aside from being 4 years old on 9/11, but 4 year olds are capable of retaining long-term memories. I also don’t see how people born in 1991 would be young Millennials over core." - One-Potato-2972

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Why do we eat chicken eggs, duck eggs, and quail eggs, but not turkey eggs?

They're perfectly edible and apparently quite tasty, but you never see them on a menu.

Photo credit: Canva

Have you ever eaten a turkey egg?

When we talk about eating eggs in the U.S., we're almost always talking about chicken eggs. Occasionally, we might see duck eggs or quail eggs on the menu in a gourmet restaurant, and even more rarely something exotic like an emu egg. But do we ever see turkey eggs being served? Nope, never. (At least I never have, nor has anyone I've asked about this.)

Considering how many turkeys are raised domestically in the U.S. (around 220 million) and how many wild turkeys roam among us (around 7 million), you'd think we'd make better use of their eggs. They are egg-laying birds, after all, and since turkey meat is so similar to chicken meat, it seems logical that turkey eggs would be similar to chicken eggs, right?

 turkey eggs, eating eggs, chicken eggs, egg production Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs with a thicker shell.Photo credit: Canva

Right. Basically, that's true. Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs and they have a stronger shell, but from what people say, they're similar to eating chicken eggs only a little richer. Larger and richer, and yet we don't eat them on the regular? Why the heck not?

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The Self-Sufficient Backyard YouTube channel explains the whole thing in a video that's been viewed by nearly 4 million people. Clearly, this is a burning question for people once it's brought to their attention.

  - YouTube  youtube.com  

Basically, what it boils down to is that their size makes them hard to handle, package, and store. Turkeys also aren't nearly as prolific as chickens. (Chickens lay eggs around once per day, while turkeys lay at most twice per week.) It's also more expensive to raise turkeys than chickens, so the price of a turkey egg is prohibitive, at around $3 per egg. Considering how everyone lost their minds over chicken eggs at $6 a dozen, it's unlikely people would pay $36 for a dozen turkey eggs.

However, some people who have eaten turkey eggs shared their thoughts on how they taste, and now people (me, I am people) really want to try them:

"I have eaten turkey eggs for years. They are larger shells are thicker but they taste wonderful."

"I've baked with Turkey eggs and they made the best pancakes I have EVER tasted."

"They taste like chicken eggs, I have turkeys. They only lay seasonally, generally starting in March, and they’ll continue to lay through June-August. They can lay 60ish eggs a year. They’re about 2x the volume of a chicken egg. They make excellent omelettes. Harder to crack, with a thicker membrane and shell."

 turkey eggs, wine, eating turkey eggs Turkey eggs on the menu.Photo credit: Canva

"Growing up, my family had a turkey! She laid eggs and we were always enamored by how huge they were. They taste wonderful!"

"We had turkeys with our chickens. They laid eggs daily with the chickens from March to September then would stop while the chickens would just slow down. I was surprised because I thought they would just lay a clutch once or twice because that’s what the wild turkeys do but nope. The only down fall we found was that cracking them was difficult. But if you use a butter knife to give it a whack at the top it works pretty well. It was like getting two egg whites and one yolk in chicken egg ratio lol."

"Taste exactly like chicken eggs. Way bigger. The only difference is the shell is way tougher to crack. So good."

Apparently experience with turkeys and turkey eggs is not uncommon? City folks, take note:

"I was raised on turkey's eggs... I come in from a part of Canada where we are raising turkeys. In Valcartier, turkey eggs used to be much cheaper than any other kind of eggs."

"Growing up on a farm being born in the 50s in western North Carolina we ate lots of turkey eggs. We usually had a dozen or so hen turkeys so we had quite a few to spare."

 turkeys, wild turkeys, turkey eggs Turkeys live all over the U.S.  Giphy/Minnesota State University Moorhead 

"My inlaws usually give us turkey eggs for the holidays. They have a big farm in Virginia with all sorts of animals. They usually just sell their eggs at the local market and give us the rest lol."

"The wild turkeys that live in my area used to get in my bird feeders when I had a house. One day I found an egg in the yard, possibly as payment lol."

"I've got a turkey for a pet. Her name is "Sweetpea" and I keep her around for no other reason except that she's awesome and provides good conversation. Every now and then during the warm months of the year she leaves me breakfast somewhere around the yard."

And then, just for funsies, there's this little anecdote about those "technically edible" emu eggs:

"Back in elementary school we had a teacher that raised Emus. She would always make delicious cakes but would tell no one how she made them. Eventually she told my mother the reasons she told no one was because she was afraid that people would stop eating them if they found out that she was using one emu egg for every three chicken eggs. We didn’t care."

There you go. Answering a question you may never have asked but desperately needed and answer to once you thought about it.

This article originally appeared in May.

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People rally for plane passenger who defended his right to sit in the seat he paid for

A mom had given her child the man's seat with the flight attendant's blessing.

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People rally for passenger who demanded his seat from a mom

Boarding a plane is always awkward, especially if you're in the later boarding zones. It's inevitable someone is going to sit in the wrong seat, usually by accident, causing a silly scooching and standing routine. But what happens when someone is in your seat on purpose? Not just any someone, a child whose mother informed them that they were allowed to sit there.

This is what happened to Osaac Summers when he flew with American Airlines recently. Upon boarding his flight he noticed a child sitting in his seat so he continued walking, possibly assuming that was not his seat. Summers is fairly tall, standing at 6' 2" which makes sitting in enclosed seats uncomfortable which is why he paid extra for an aisle seat. But since a child was occupying his seat he was prepared to allow the child to stay there while he found a vacant seat.

 airplane seat; plane seat; entitled parents; man takes seat back; airlines; flight attendant Passengers seated on a plane, ready for takeoff.Photo credit: Canva

Summers tells the child's mother that next time she should ask the person the seat belongs to if they would mind swapping seats.

"I'm like ma'am, I really don't want to take the seat from you and your child but next time it'll be the best thing to ask before taking a seat. You know like just ask because I don't have no problem giving the seat to you if you want to sit by your family but right now you got me standing up, you know in the middle of the plane. Everybody looking at me and I'm just sitting here waiting on a seat or for you to get up and nobody's doing anything about it," Summers recalls in his video.

Instead of getting upset, the man says he went to find another seat on the aisle but was told by a flight attendant that he couldn't sit there. Summers explains to the flight attendant that he's long and needs to be an aisle seat which is why he picked his original seat. But was then met with the flight attendant telling him that the woman and child boarded the plane first, implying that their boarding order gave them permission to occupy the chair he paid for. When he reminded the attendant that the seats were assigned she then told him he could take his seat back.

 
 @lalawright2 Respectfully they should’ve asked him if it was coo first cause he did pay for that seat.
 ♬ original sound - lalawright2 
 
 

This is where things go a little off the track. After explaining that he would feel bad for taking the seat the flight attendant allegedly told him that he would be the "bad guy" for sitting in the seat he paid to sit in. It was then that Summers told the attendant that he wanted his seat that he paid for to which the flight attendant responded poorly saying that the now seatless man could be removed from the flight.

The mother who witnessed the interaction did not move her child to the correct seat, instead she allowed her child to stay in Summers' rightful chair. Eventually another passenger offered the mother their seat so she could sit with her child but not before the woman's sister told Summers to shut up. Another flight attendant did come to the frustrated man's aid to attempt to calm the situation prior to him getting his seat back.

 
 @osaacsummer MORAL OF THE STORY GIVE PEOPLE THEIR SEAT THEY PAID FOR! Follow up from @lalawright2 ♬ original sound - osaacsummers 
 
 

Someone uploaded a video of the incident on social media showing Summers responding angrily to someone who was upset he retrieved his seat. Another passenger told the story from her point of view which matched what Summers had already recounted. While passengers on the plane seemed upset that Summers wanted his seat back, people online were solidly on his side.

"So... you paid for the seat They tried to steal it then the flight attendant came and consoled them for NOT being successful in their crime? ok..." one person writes.

"So by the flight attendant logic, if I get on the flight and there's an open seat in first class, I get it because I was there first," another says.

 
 @lalawright2 here y’all go
 ♬ original sound - lalawright2 
 
 

"You should report the flight attendants to the airline and demand an apology. You paid for the seat, they can't just claim it," someone else chimes in.

One commenter confirms "You weren’t remotely the bad guy here. They were incredibly entitled. They don’t get to use their kid to be rude."

Another person writes, "Let’s normalize when booking your flight you pick seats for you and your children to sit together. If not do not expect someone to give you their seat. I would’ve told her to rise up like the sun and get out my seat."

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Gen Xers are comparing themselves to the Silent Generation and the similarities are uncanny

"Very low key, no fuss or drama sorts of people."

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Many people from Generation X are comparing themselves to the Silent Generation.

Generation X, those born between 1965 and 1980, hold a unique place between Baby Boomers and Millennials. But its a previous generation that many are claiming to relate to even more: the Silent Generation.

In an online community of Gen Xers, a member named @bravenewwhorl shared with fellow Gen Xers about the similarities they share with the Silent Generation, those born between 1925 and 1945. "My parents were born before World War Two and my older siblings are younger boomers. Let’s hear it for the Silent Generation who were very much like us; went through the Depression, the war, took care of themselves and knew how to conserve resources," they wrote.

The user when on to add, "For example my mom scraped ALL the butter off the foil wrapper, and used every frying pan and leftover chicken bone as an opportunity to make soup."

 chicken soup, sicken bone, soup, hot soup, homemade soup Chicken Soup GIF  Giphy  

The post seemed to resonate with many Gen Xers, who also shared their thoughts and experiences that connect them to the Silent Generation. These are some of the best comments from Gen Xers on why they feel simpatico with the Silent Generation.

 no drama, drama, dramatic, low key, no fuss, generations No Drama Allblk GIF by WE tv  Giphy  

"My parents are Silent Gen. Very low key, no fuss or drama sorts of people." Dark-Empath-

"Mine too. That's basically their defining generational trait -- head down, work, and stay out of the way." stevemm70

"Oh the way my Dad could say nothing so very loudly. There are still things I wouldn't dream of doing now because his silence was so deafening. I am 56." Maleficent_Bit2033

"Mine were born during the war, but same. Extremely frugal and practical. Parents were way into reusing everything and not wasting. My mom still has a drawer full of Ziplock bags and sheets of tinfoil that have been used 10x. My dad drilled into me that social security probably will not be there for our generation, so save save save. Cars are tools, not investments. Drive it into the ground. My Honda is 20 years old, Dad!" Haunting-Berry1999

 frugal, frugality, practical, cheap, save No Way Wow GIF by RatePunk  Giphy  

"My parents are Silent Generation, and because I was born in the mid 60s, so are the parents of almost everyone I grew up with. I am tired of this narrative that all GenX parents were boomers; that is simply not true, especially for those of us born 1970 or earlier. My parents were always very concerned about economic security, both for themselves and their kids. They transferred that concern to my siblings and myself." Ineffable7980x

"I still put ham bones in the freezer (Great grandma thing) for the soup I never make. Maybe this time :)." motherofguinaepigz

"My parents' parents definitely conserved resources - would wash and reuse 'tin foil', made food carry over into 4 or 5 different meals, shopped wisely, were extremely frugal with money and tried to be financially savvy. For them, cars, clothes, and appliances were maintained and repaired and lasted for years and years. My parents inherited a lot of those traits by example, and it followed down to us, too. Cars, clothes, and appliances aren't made today the way they were 'back then', of course, but we still try to make it work. I know people who change cars, or get new appliances, or even remodel or move to a new house every several years, and that just doesn't make sense to me. I just hope upcoming generations maintain and improve the 'reduce, reuse, recycle' mindset we were taught." DrewHunterTn

 reduce, reuse, recycle, frugal, resources Reduce Climate Change GIF by INTO ACTION  Giphy  

"My grandparents were Silent Generation. I am young GenX (but still GenX ‘76). I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for my Silent Generation grandparents. They taught me a lot, and I feel more in touch with their generation than I’ve ever felt with Boomers. The boomers were such a let down; not great parents and worse grandparents." kemberflare

"My folks are both silent generation (both born in 41) and I'm a young gen x (born in 75, last of 3), and farm kids to boot. They taught me a lot of important things. You do what you want, but think it through because all actions have consequences. Don't waste money on frivolous stuff, but when you buy something big, buy quality and make it last. Most importantly, while they loved me and thought I was special, the world at large doesn't think about me at all. Also, my mom still washes out ziplock bags. I did not keep that lesson." No_Hedgehog_5406

"Mine are young Silent gen’s, so didn’t know the war strife, but their parents knew how to be frugal, could fix anything, and passed that down through the generations. My parents said they were too old to be hippies, but almost went to Woodstock. My dad got a PhD to stay out of Vietnam. Like others have said, very low key, very private, and didn’t live in the past at all. Compared to my friends’ parents, I wouldn’t trade them for anything else." ZuesMyGoose

This article originally appeared in May.
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Just saw your child get hit by another kid? Parenting coach shares the perfect way to handle it.

How to turn a well known parenting nightmare into a valuable teaching moment.

Photo credit: Canva, @mommyandmishti/Instagram

An image of two young children in a fight.

It’s an unsavory scenario many parents have found themselves in: you’re watching your child play with other kiddos, when suddenly, out of nowhere, a fist starts flying…and your little one is on the receiving end.

Every parenting instinct in us might beckon that we immediately rush to our child’s rescue, and give that other kid the what for. Similarly, many parents might be inclined to instill a “hit back” mentality into their kiddos, in an effort to teach them to stand up for themselves.

But what if there’s a better way? According to certified parenting coach Anuradha Gupta, there most certainly is.

 self defense for kids, kids fighting, teaching non violence, bullies, parenting, parenting coach, toddlers, kids hitting Is it possible to teach kids non-violence without causing them to be weak? Photo credit: Canva

In an Instagram post, Gupta shared four simple steps parents can take to turn those universally “awkward, hard-to-navigate moments” into opportunities to model “what calm strength looks like.” That way, the next time a boundary is crossed, kids know exactly what to do.

Here’s how:

Step 1: Gupta says to go to your own child, not the child who did the hitting, or their parent. Because immediately, kids need to know they’re safe. Gupta added that parents should make eye contact while saying something along the lines of “that wasn’t okay. I saw what happened. I’m right here.”

Step 2: this is when parents can “hold a boundary” by calmly telling the other child, “we don’t hit. That hurts.” It’s important to stay calm and not “scold," Gupta writes, because you are modeling how to respond calmly rather than emotional react.

Step 3: since most young children (toddlers and preschoolers) won’t inherently know what to say in these situations, Gupta writes that parents can “give them the words.” Things like “Don’t hit me” or “That hurt. Stop.” She added that it’s totally fine if your child isn’t up for repeating it immediately. What is vital is that you’re “planting seeds.”

Step 4: Practice setting these boundaries at home, where it is safe and feathers are no longer ruffled. “You can even role play with toys or act it out with them,” Gupta writes. Some suggested prompts are “What could you say if someone hits you?” and “Show me your strong voice.” One important note is to keep it fun and light here as you “build muscle memory for real moments.”

Gupta’s post was unsurprisingly met with a few parents who insisted on the “teach kids to hit back” method, the general consensus being that it better deters any future bullying. However, research findings aren’t so cut and dry. Some studies suggest it may indeed prevent further bullying, while others indicate that those who hit back are more likely to be victims again months later.

 self defense for kids, kids fighting, teaching non violence, bullies, parenting, parenting coach, toddlers, kids hitting In a perfect world, bullies would no longer exist. But here we are. Photo credit: Canva

And perhaps more importantly, as many other parents in the comments section noted, this strategy of "fight fire with fire” doesn’t allow for much nuance—the fact that not every kid hits on purpose with ill intent, or will necessarily do it again, etc.—nor does it teach kids how to deescalate situations to avoid more violence. Arguably it comes down to what type of confidence you want to teach your kid.

All in all, hitting back does have its place, but this is some food for thought on what else is possible. Parenting is after all, a balancing act between teaching kids how to deal with the world as it is, and how it could be.

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Older generations are put off by the 'Gen Z stare.' Here's why it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Gen Z is exposing older generations without saying a word.

Photo credit: Canva

Here's why the 'Gen Z stare' isn't necessarily a bad thing

Everyone's talking about the "Gen Z stare." There's even a debate between Gen Z and other generations on what the phenomenon is. Gen Z says it's their customer service look when a customer asks them a ridiculous question like "is there ice in the iced tea," but people who have experienced it report otherwise.

According to older generations, they're referring to the younger folks as simply staring at customers with a neutral face instead of greeting a customer before taking an order. This deadpan look also occurs when a customer tries to make small talk while ordering food or shopping for items in a retail situation. But it's not necessarily a bad thing and doesn't always mean something is developmentally amiss.

 gen z; gen z stare; Millennials; gen z social skills; social skills; screen time; small talk Close-up portrait with an intense gaze.Photo credit: Canva

To some it confirms that Gen Z is socially awkward or lacks the social skills to succeed in the workforce. Other people contribute the seemingly odd silence to the generation being exposed to screens at an early age, while some say it's due to the pandemic. As a therapist who has worked with Gen Z, there may be more to unpack around the older generations' reactions to the stare than there is about the stare itself.

Generations from the Silent Generation down to Millennials have been raised to speak to people when spoken to, even if you don't want to or you don't particularly like the other person. Not speaking, especially to older people or in a customer service setting was often described as being rude. There was a lot of emphasis put on performing niceness in public or in front of company. This social expectation also transferred into the workplace, which is may be why many older people feel like Gen Z is lacking an important social skill.

 
 @itsparkerbabe ♬ original sound - It’s Parker Babe 
 
 

In my experience working with younger people, it's not that they don't have the social skill to have these interactions. Many Gen Z simply don't see the point in performing social niceties with strangers or people they don't plan to build community with. They're not uncomfortable with silence, awkward or otherwise. When I've had Gen Z clients, they're cordial and engaged but when we're at a point in the session that calls for silence, they don't shy away from it.

On the other hand when I see older generations, moments of silent processing are often cut short and filled with small talk. Even when redirected older generations appear to struggle more with silence. It could be avoidance of uncomfortable feelings in the moment, worry they'll be judged by the therapist or feeling that they're not fully utilizing their therapy session if moments of silence seem too long. Some feel that they need to make use of all of their time, unable to turn off the hustle.

 gen z; gen z stare; Millennials; gen z social skills; social skills; screen time; small talk Woman in a stylish fashion store with shoe and handbag displays.Photo credit: Canva

Another interesting observation from raising Gen Z kids as an elder Millennial and working with them professionally–we raised them. One common thing that was repeated in friend groups and therapy sessions is that Millennials and Gen Xers hated when their parents forced social interactions upon them. Because of this, many of the people in my age cohort didn't force their children to speak to strangers or make small talk with children or people the child didn't like.

Could the "Gen Z stare" be a product of our own doing? Is it a combination of them being comfortable in silence and not seeing the point in surface level conversations? I do think it's the latter. Gen Z is much more collectivist and community focused seeking out deeper connections while avoiding meaningless small talk. Of course this doesn't apply to every Gen Zer, some love to chat and would have zero problem talking to their own reflection. Some are completely comfortable with getting through their shift with as little social interaction as humanly possible even if they're in a customer facing position.

 
 @talking2myphone Ngl I always leave restaurants when I get the gen z stare of a waiter at the front 😭 #GenZStare ♬ original sound - 😽🫶🏽 
 
 

Being comfortable in silence is not only important in therapy, it is important in life. While placing your order with someone who didn't greet you isn't likely to cause an existential crisis, maybe sitting with and working through the discomfort the interaction did cause isn't a bad thing.

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