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Dad uses simple math trick to stop his 6-year-old's tantrums in their tracks

It works — and it's psychologist approved.

OPPO Find X5 Pro & Chris Liverani/Unsplash

Sometimes parenting tricks are deceptively simple.

Tantrums, meltdowns, and emotional outbursts are the bane of parents' existence.

Once they start, they're like a freight train. There seems to be almost no way to stop them other than staying calm and letting them run their course.

That is, until one dad on Reddit revealed his secret method.

A thread titled "Hack your youngster's big emotions with math" has every parent on Reddit saying, why didn't I think of that?

User u/WutTheHuck posted a simple comment on the subreddit r/daddit earlier this month.

"Heard about this recently - when your kid is having a meltdown, doing math engages a different part of their brain and helps them move past the big feelings and calm down," he writes.

"We've been doing this with our very emotional 6-yr-old, when she decides that she wants to cooperate - asking her a handful of simple addition and subtraction questions will very quickly allow her to get control of herself again and talk about her feelings."

So, basically, when the sobs and screams come on strong, having your kid tell you the answer to 3+3, or 10-7 is a good way to get them calm again, and fast.

OP goes on to call the technique "magical," and mentions that his 6-year-old is legendary in his household for her epic tantrums.

The unique trick became a popular post on the subreddit, with a few hundreds comments from dads who were intrigued and willing to give it a try.

A month later, the results are in. The math trick works wonders.

math problems OK, we said SIMPLE mathAntoine Dautry/unsplash

What struck me as I read through r/daddit was how many follow-up threads there were that said something to the effect of:

The math trick worked!

One user wrote that when his kids woke up screaming from a nightmare, he responded with a simple addition question.

"Soon as my wife closed the door ... [my kid] wanted mommy and started yelling her head off. I remembered the math trick and went 'what's 2+2?' It worked like a charm; the screaming ceased by the second question," he said.

In a separate thread, u/LighTMan913 had a message for "whoever posted here a few days ago about having your kid do mental math when they're upset..."

"You're a mother fudging genius," he said.

"My 7-year-old got in trouble for being mean to his brother shortly before bed time. He was rolled over facing the wall in bed. Wouldn't say goodnight. Just giving mumbles into the bed that are impossible to hear for answers.

"Started with 2+2 and by the time we got to 4096 he was smiling and laughing. 5 minutes after I left the room he called me back in to tell me he thinks he figured out 4096 + 4096 and I worked him through his wrong, albeit very close, answer.

"Worked like a charm. Thank you."

It's not just random dads on the Internet. Experts agree that this method is a bona fide winner for dealing with tantrums and outbursts.

upset kid Helping kids calm down can be a challenge.Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author, had this to say about the viral technique:

"When our emotions rise, our logic decreases. The more emotional we feel, the more difficult it is to think clearly.

"A simple math problem requires you to raise your logic, which automatically decreases the intensity of an emotion."

Morin says that the math trick basically boils down to a distraction. A distraction with the added bonus of re-engaging the logical side of a child's brain.

"If you do what's known as 'changing the channel' in your brain, you get your mind thinking about something else--like a math problem. When you shift your attention, your thoughts change," Morin says, adding that adults can use this concept when they're feeling overwhelmed, too.

"When a child is upset, don't talk about why they're upset or why a tantrum is inappropriate. Instead, help them change the channel in their brains and raise their logic. When everyone is calm, you can have a discussion about how the strategy works--and how they can apply it themselves when you're not available to remind them."

Now I just need to get my 4-year-old up to speed on basic addition and subtraction and I'll be made in the shade!

From Your Site Articles

kids

Identity

50 people shared the one thing they'd change about their bodies. The kids' answers rocked.

The children heard the question TOTALLY differently than the adults.

Photo credit: Canva

When do we start learning to hate our bodies?

Body image is a strange thing. Babies aren't born with any opinions about their bodies one way or another, but as we age, we start forming judgments. We might be teased about one or more of our features or we might just absorb messages about beauty standards from the world we live in, but whatever causes them, a huge number people end up dissatisfied with parts of our body by the time we're adults.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

"If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?"

In a video from Jubilee, 50 people were asked, "If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?" and the difference between how the adults answered and the kids answered is striking—and telling. The adults listed off the specific features they didn't like and wanted to change—a smaller forehead, smaller ears, bigger eyes, a less puffy face, etc. The kinds of answers most of us would mostly likely give.

But the kids? They heard the question totally differently and answered it in the best way possible.

Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course you would choose to have a mermaid tail or legs like a cheetah if you could change one thing about your body! Of course you'd want wings so you could fly and a shark mouth so you could eat all the things. Teleportation? Put it in me! Extra pointy ears? Heck yes, little elfling.

Or even just…nothing. "I wouldn't change anything. I like my body." That might just be the most revolutionary statement of the 21st century.

Kids aren't immune to being dissatisfied with their bodies, of course. Studies show that body image concerns can begin as early as age 3 and tend to increase year after year, peaking in adolescence. Keeping a child from slipping down the slope of body negativity is something for all parents to watch for. Thankfully, there are some things we can do to help protect kids' acceptance and celebration of their bodies just as they are.

How to develop and maintain a healthy body image

One way is to be careful about how we talk about bodies in general, including our own.

"What we say about our own bodies and other people’s bodies carries significant weight, especially in the presence of our children," pediatrician Mona Amin, M.D., writes on Instagram. "Our words shape their perceptions of self-worth and body image. When we talk about how we don’t want to get in a swimsuit because we haven’t 'lost the baby weight yet' or congratulate someone on looking skinny, we teach our children that there is a 'right' way to look. This subtly, and sometimes not so subtly, can make children start to scrutinize how they look, and can trigger insecurity and low self-esteem."

See on Instagram

Another is to speak positively about the things our bodies—all bodies—can do rather than just how they look. Dr. Amin writes that children are borth with a natural sense of acceptance, but a keen observers they will often start to internalize the beliefs and attitudes of the adults in their lives. We can help them develop and maintain a healthy relationship with body image by promoting body neutrality and celebrating diversity in the way people look.

What does that look like in practice? Dr. Amin gives five specific examples:

1. Speaking positively about ourselves and our bodies both alone, with friends, and in front of our children
2. Positive affirmations about our body and what it DOES not how it looks: rewire the brain by feeding positivity where you need it
3. Celebrate qualities about people and kids and not how they look
4. Limit access to social media accounts and media that don’t promote body positivity
5. Not discussing weight in a negative way at doctor’s visits or ever.

via GIPHY

More compliments that aren't oriented around appearance, please

It's shocking how many compliments people get have to do with the way they look, and even positive comments can lead to an unhealthy emphasis on appearance. We can all try giving kids compliments like "That was such a smart observation!" or "I love the way you think!" or "Wow, that took hard work—way to go!" rather than focusing on how they look.

Parents on Dr. Amin's Instagram page shared how their kids responded to the question of what they'd change about their body if they could, and they reflect the responses in the video.

"Just asked my son this question and he said he'd change his feet into robot feet and would have robot arms and a robot belly🤖🥹"

"I asked my 5 year old daughter this question, and without any hesitation she said "I wouldn't change anything". By far, one of my most proudest moment as a parent."

"Just asked my three kids: Eldest said “I’d change nothing.” Youngest said “I don’t think I can anything but if I could, I would change everything to always be happiness.” Middle said “I would change madness… so that my body would never be mad anymore.” 🥹🥹🥹 Insecurities are taught. This really touched & convicted me 😭 Thank you for sharing this!"

"My kid said he would turn his body into Godzilla."

"🔥❤️ 6 year old said he would make a clone so they can go to school. 👏👏"

Let's all try to bring back that childhood wonder when we think about our bodies and celebrate the awesome powers they have—or even the imaginary ones they could have.

From Your Site Articles

body image

Parenting

New study reveals the correct way to respond when your kid gets hurt

Showing concern when your child falls over can make things worse.

yang miao/Unsplash

Every parent has experienced the two-stage reaction to their kid falling down while running around. Step one: Freeze and hold your breath. Maybe if you don't react, they won't cry. Right? Step two: This time, they're actually hurt. Here come the tears. You move in to go inspect the boo-boo and. Good news... 'tis but a scratch!

But for some reason they won't stop crying and saying how bad it hurts. "Come on, shake it off," you insist. "It's not that bad." You wonder if they're hamming up the near-invisible wound for a little extra attention, maybe you start to get annoyed.

A new study just found that if you behave this way, you'll scar your children for life. OK, just kidding. They'll be fine! But there is a simple, more effective way to handle boo-boos, both big and small.

A study in the journal aptly named Pain reveals that validating a child's pain, however minor, can have huge benefits.

girl crying on the sidewalk Unsplash

Whether a child has a microscopic scrape on their knee or is going into the hospital for a major operation, validation is the key.

How do you validate a child's pain, fear, or discomfort? It can take a lot of forms, including active listening ("I hear you..."), naming emotions or sensations ("It sounds like it stings."), praising or engaging with their healthy coping habits ("Great job being brave!"), or even just telling them it's normal and OK to feel whatever they're feeling ("I understand why you're scared.")

In Psychology Today, Ashley Hawthorn, a sensory studies expert, explains the study's relevance like this:

As adults, we develop a higher tolerance of pain. Small aches and pains are easily ignored in many cases. Sometimes, we expect children to be able to do this, too. But we forget that they're still learning what pain in, how to recognize it, and most importantly, how to cope with it.

A simple gesture to the effect of "Yes, you have correctly identified that you are in pain!" — as silly as it sounds — can help a child build confidence in their internal experiences.

Even if you think they may be blowing that pain out of proportion. That confidence can build on itself and continue to reap benefits long into adulthood.

“When a parent or doctor validates a child’s experiences in a way that matches their expressed vulnerability, it helps the child to feel accepted, builds connection and trust, and may help the child to develop critical skills in regulating their emotions,” lead study author Dr. Sarah B. Wallwork told Science Daily.

It makes sense the more you think about it.

If a parent or doctor questions the validity of a child's pain, it may make them more apprehensive about coming forward later in life. And this is true of everyone, not just children! We all need to be told and shown that what we're feeling is valid.

"By validating children's experiences of pain, they are likely to hold fewer negatively biased memories of pain and be in better position to seek help in the future, when then need it," Wallwork said.

Because pain is heavily tied to emotions and memories, using this approach can actually help children experience less pain when they're older. Wild, right?

Critically, validation and reassurance are different things, and can have very different outcomes

Validation means agreeing that your child's pain is real and, well, valid. It might sound like "I'm sorry that hurts," or, "It's OK to be nervous." Validation is not to be confused with reassurance. Reassurance is meant to be positive and make a person feel better about the situation. "You can get through this!" or "Don't worry, you're OK."

Confusingly, there's some evidence that reassurance has a negative effect on children's pain and distress, even though it sounds comforting!

A study in The Journal of Pediatrics says: "Reassurance may serve as a warning to the child that the caregiver is anxious, knows something bad is about to happen, or both."

Maybe this explains why initially ignoring it when your toddler topples over can sometimes prevent the hysterical tears, versus running over immediately with concern. It sounds like a lot to remember, but the framework is really simple. The next time your kid is in pain, scared, worried, or all of the above — all you have to do is listen and believe them.

If you can distract them or help them cope with their pain in a healthy way? You're cruising to Parent of the Year status.

From Your Site Articles

kids

Modern Families

Mom discovers her 10-year-old comforting toddler brother at 3am so she could fall asleep

“He said he wanted me to get some rest because I did a lot that day.”

@gloriaugly/TikTok

10-year-old Mason lovingly cared for his 18-month-old brother at 3 a.m. so that his mom could get some rest.

The best feeling as a parent is when your child does something that exemplifies good character without being asked and without expecting any recognition or reward for it. Seeing your kid practicing patience, kindness and helpfulness, even when they think no one is looking—that's when you know that all your hard parenting work is paying off.

So when you're a mom with six kids and the baby monitor you have in your 18-month-old's nursery shows your 10-year-old stepping up to help his little brother—in the middle of the night, no less—your heart might melt a little. And when he tells you the thoughtful reason why he didn't just come and get you when he heard his brother fussing, your heart might just explode.

A viral TikTok captured this scenario at Gloria McIntosh's house in Ohio last December, and it could not be sweeter.

McIntosh told TODAY Parents that she always told her kids that the true test of a person's character is what they do when no one is around—a lesson that her son Mason clearly took to heart when he got up at 3 a.m. to comfort his 18-month-old brother, Greyson.

Watch:

@gloriaugly
@lighteyemason 💙💙🤴🏾

"The baby woke up in the middle of the night," McIntosh wrote. "I heard him fussing so I just checked the camera to see if he would just fall back asleep and saw his brother showing the best example of love and patience. He stayed with him for almost 30 minutes trying to get him back to sleep. I eventually came in and got the baby, and asked my son why he didn't just come and get me."

The reason was as sweet as can be.

"He said he wanted me to get some rest, because I did a lot that day. While parenting is not his responsibility, just the fact that he understood that he is his brother's keeper, and considered my long day as a mom, is much appreciated. ❤️"

When he climbed into the crib with him? Gracious. That's when you know your kid going to be all right.

“I was smiling the whole time,” McIntosh told TODAY Parents. “He has a love for Greyson that is unspeakable. I can’t even really explain it.”

McIntosh said Mason is a natural caregiver. “I’m sure Mason was tired and cranky. He was woken up at 3 a.m.,” she said. “But how you saw him treat his brother is how he is. He steps up."

Well done, Mason. And well done, mama.

This article originally appeared on 1.4.22

From Your Site Articles

family

Culture

Dad’s 5-year-old daughter's hilarious answers to his questions have the internet screaming

“Do I have to change my name if I get married? Call me Shredder.”

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way.

Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy.

Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.

1.

Me: What did you do at school today?\n\n5-year-old: Learned about dragons.\n\nMe: Your class learned about dragons?\n\n5: I learned about dragons. I don't know what everybody else was doing.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1524164098

2.

5-year-old: *stares off into space*\n\nMe: What's wrong?\n\n5: What happens if a kangaroo jumps on a trampoline?\n\nMe: *stares off into space, too*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1512655067

3.

5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup?\n\nMe: To look pretty.\n\n5: But she's already pretty.\n\nMe: Aww.\n\n5: Dad, you should wear makeup.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1434719335

4.

3-year-old: Do boys like Frozen?\n\n5-year-old: Nobody cares what boys like.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522195727

5.

5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars\n\nMe: That\u2019d wreck the economy\n\n5: I just-\n\nMe: Go to your room until you understand inflation
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1441628973

6.

5-year-old daughter: I think a boy likes me. He drew me a dinosaur.\n\nMe: That could mean anything.\n\n5: The dinosaur had a hat.\n\nOh shit.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1435237545

7.

[watching a guy on TV do CPR]\n\n5-year-old daughter: Why is he kissing her?\n\nMe: He's not. He's saving her life.\n\n5: I'd rather die.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1458752016

8.

Me: Who ate all the cookies?\n\n5-year-old: Ninjas.\n\nMe: I didn\u2019t see them.\n\n5-year-old: No one ever does.\n\nCheckmate.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1433627847

9.

5 y.o.: Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?\n\nMe: I helped\n\n5: How?\n\nMe:\n\n5:\n\nMe: I read her the instructions
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1446746149

10.

Me: You can't like Kylo Ren. He killed his dad.\n\n5-year-old: Maybe he deserved it.\n\nI'm never sleeping again.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1460388284

11.

Me: What happened on the coffee table?\n\n5-year-old daughter: Elsa killed all the stormtroopers.pic.twitter.com/36hCfd1z5s
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1432591871

12.

13.

5-year-old: I'm writing a book.\n\nMe: What's it called?\n\n5: I Ate Too Many Cupcakes.\n\nMe: Oh.\n\n5: It's just pretend because you can never eat too many cupcakes.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1523975066

14.

5-year-old: *eats a cupcake for breakfast*\n\nMe: Cupcakes aren't a breakfast food.\n\n5: I know. They're an all-day food.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1523364754

15.

Me: It snowed last night.\n\n5-year-old: *flops on the floor* We already did winter.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1523279528

16.

Me: You're still in your pajamas.\n\n5-year-old: I'll get dressed soon.\n\nMe: It's 4 in the afternoon.\n\n5: Don't rush me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1523131531

17.

[spring break]\n\n5-year-old: When do we have to go back to school?\n\nMe: Monday.\n\n5: *slides me a penny* When now?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522870699

18.

Me: Wake up. Time to get dressed.\n\n5-year-old: Not again.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522158012

19.

5-year-old: *won't get out of bed*\n\nMe: I don't want to fight you every morning.\n\n5: Then let me win.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522847748

20.

Me: Why are you being mean?\n\n5-year-old: I ran out of nice.\n\nIt's going to be a long night.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522786515

21.

[lightning strike super close to our house]\n\n5-year-old: Missed me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522762976

22.

5-year-old: Can we have pizza?\n\nMe: We just had pizza yesterday.\n\n5: The pizza doesn't know that.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522096312

23.

Me: Hurry.\n\n5-year-old: I am.\n\nMe: You're still in bed.\n\n5: I'm sleeping faster.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1521811809

24.

5-year-old: Leprechauns are fairies.\n\nMe: They are?\n\n5: I thought you went to college.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1521326336

25.

5-year-old: Do I have to change my name if I get married?\n\nMe: Only if you want to.\n\n5: Call me Shredder.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1521585950

His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.

26.

Me: *gets burned by bacon grease* Ow!\n\n7-year-old: Love hurts.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1512230800

27.

Me: What are you doing?\n\n7-year-old: Counting the presents under the tree.\n\nMe: There aren't any presents under the tree.\n\n7: I know.\n\nPassive aggressive level 9000.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1511896968

28.

3-year-old: *holds up a baby doll* What's her name?\n\nMe: She doesn't have one. You can name her.\n\n3: *kissing baby* I love you, Stupid Face.\n\nShe'll make a great mother.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1511877311

29.

7-year-old: I'm glad I'm not a boy.\n\nMe: Why?\n\n7: I like being smart.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1512136729

30.

3-year-old: Mommy married you.\n\nMe: Yeah.\n\n3: Why?\n\nWife: Nobody knows.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522527335

31.

2-year-old: *touches my beard* It's soft like a kitty.\n\nMe: You mean rugged and manly.\n\n2: Purrrr.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1493775467

32.

4-year-old: What happens when you die?\n\nMe: You go to heaven.\n\n4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1412245842

33.

4-year-old: Why do you go to work?\n\nMe: They pay me a salary.\n\n4-year-old:\n\nMe:\n\n4-year-old: I don\u2019t even like celery.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1425155143

34.

3-year-old daughter: Will I have a baby in my belly someday?\n\nMe: If you want to.\n\n3: No thanks. That's where I put my candy.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1459859421

35.

7-year-old: Why do we have to dress up?\n\nMe: It's Easter.\n\n7: Jesus just wore robes.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522592817

36.

Me: Do you know why they call it Good Friday?\n\n7-year-old: There's no school.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522427812

37.

7-year-old: Why does my teacher keep testing what I know?\n\nMe: What should she do?\n\n7: Trust me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522246883

38.

7-year-old: You should let me eat more candy.\n\nMe: Why?\n\n7: Then you won't eat it.\n\nShe's my new diet plan.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1522092561

This article originally appeared on 7.27.21

From Your Site Articles

comedy

Family

5-year-old gave his mom advice for handling nerves. It was both adorable and spot-on.

"You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’, ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!"

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash, @EPrecipice/Twitter

Kids really do say the darnedest things.

Any parent knows that kids can be surprisingly astute little philosophers at the most unexpected times. One minute your child is throwing a tantrum because you sliced their sandwich wrong, and the next they are blowing you away with their deep preschool thoughts. It's enough to give you whiplash, but it's also one of the most fun things about being around kids. You never know what they're going to say and sometimes what they say is just awesome.

Case in point: This 5-year-old who gave his mom some sage advice about handling her nerves.

Twitter user @Eprecipice (StressieBessie) shared the story in a tweet thread. She wrote:

"When talking about our agendas for the day, I told my 5yo I was a little nervous about a meeting I have today. He said, 'Mama, I am nervous all the time. I know what to do.' So friends, here is all the advice he could fit into the drive to school:"

1. “You gotta say your affirmations in your mouth and your heart. You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’ , ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!’ And you can say five or three or ten until you know it.”

Okay, first of all, the fact that this kiddo knows what affirmations are is awesome. Some people have questioned whether this advice really came from a 5-year-old because of the vocabulary, but kids are sponges and affirmations aren't rocket science. It's become quite common for preschools and kindergartens to teach kids things like this, so it's not actually surprising to hear him talk about affirmations. It's just adorable to hear the ones he suggests.

When talking about our agendas for the day, I told my 5yo I was a little nervous about a meeting I have today. He said, \u201cMama, I am nervous all the time. I know what to do.\u201d So friends, here is all the advice he could fit into the drive to school:
— StressieBessie (@StressieBessie) 1643118594

2. “You gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.”

Okay, so this actually is sound advice. Researcher Amy Cuddy gave a whole TED Talk about how our minds respond to our own body language, and how using confident body language can actually release chemicals in our brains that make us feel more powerful and self-assured. So "walk big" like you mean it is legit.

2. \u201cYou gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.\u201d
— StressieBessie (@StressieBessie) 1643118788

3. "Never put a skunk on a bus."

No idea what this means, but it's definitely solid wisdom.

4. "Think about the donuts of your day! Even if you cry a little, you can think about potato chips!"

I'm genuinely not sure if this is referencing real donuts or not, which is part of what makes it delightful advice. Metaphorically, "the donuts of your day" could be the positive things that happened, and focusing on those instead of the negative is basic positive thinking. Then again, if you cry and think about potato chips, perhaps he's just referencing comfort with food. Either way, totally feeling it.

4. \u201cThink about the donuts of your day! Even if you cry a little, you can think about potato chips!\u201d
— StressieBessie (@StressieBessie) 1643118922

5. "You gotta take a deep breath and you gotta do it again."

Pretty much every therapist from every psychological school of thought will tell you that breathing exercises are one of the quickest ways to calm your body and mind. Simple, but seriously sound advice.

6. "Even if it's a yucky day, you can get a hug."

Even though that sounds like a pretty typical thought for a kid, it's also good well-being advice. According to The Conversation, the chemicals released when we hug can help us manage stress, reduce anxiety and manage our emotions.

Smart kid.

He added one more piece of advice for good measure as well for those of us who tend toward distraction.

6. \u201cEven if it\u2019s a yucky day, you can get a hug.\u201d
— StressieBessie (@StressieBessie) 1643119356

Extra addition from this afternoon: \u201cDon\u2019t get distracted and your feet will stay on the sidewalk and not too full of snow.\u201d
— StressieBessie (@StressieBessie) 1643147180

Like a little Confucius, this one.

Seriously, if you ever want to hear some of the most oddly profound things you'll ever hear in your life, spend some time interviewing a 4- or 5-year-old. They really do say the darnedest things. And if you're nervous about something, just keep telling yourself you're "brave of" it. If nothing else, it'll bring a smile to your face remembering this delightful thread.

This article originally appeared on 01.31.22

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Mom's complaint about scary Halloween decorations in her neighborhood gets a delightful reality check

Talk about a lesson in coexisting.

Photo credit: Canva

A woman was criticized for asking if neighborhoods could put up less "scary" Halloween decor.

Halloween is upon us, and with it a bajillion ways to decorate. You could choose a movie-specific theme, gothic Victorian, I even saw a whole section at Home Goods dedicated to cutesy pink ghosts and pumpkins. The possibilities are endless.

But most folks will probably stick to a tried-and-true aesthetic: horror. After all, you wanna make those decorations bought years prior worth the purchase. And for many, going all out with the scary vibes is part of the fun.

Still…someone thinks those folks should tone it down a bit.

A mom who goes by @lindswitt on TikTok recently said,“I’m going to need someone to explain to me why people decorate their homes for Halloween in complete horror,” when they live in a neighborhood that has young kids.

She pointed out one home in particular in her neighborhood that has its garage “covered…corner to corner” with a pictures of the clown from It, aka Pennywise.

“That is only one of the decorations that I get the joy as a mom of explaining what that picture is and trying to shape it in a way that doesn’t sound terrifying to my young children,” she said.

While she did add the caveat that she understands everyone has the right to decorate their home for the holiday in a way that they see fit, she still argued that “just from a humanity aspect, in a neighborhood with children, why decorate your home with such horror in such a bold, loud, unmissable way? It’s not even October and mommy is already tired of explaining ‘Oh it’s just a friendly clown, that’s just the way he smiles.’”

@lindswitt are most parents unbothered by this?? #halloween #decorations #momsoftiktok #mom #toddlermom #momlife ♬ original sound - lindswitt

The video quickly racked up over 100,000 views, along with a few comments serving as funny, if not a little snarky, reality checks.

“Because it’s their house,” one person wrote, keeping it simple and to the point.

“As a mom of a two year old... it’s Halloween. Hope this helps,” quipped another.

A few more:

“Can someone please make me understand why people use their free will to do the things that they want at their house cuz I just can't get it?!?! WHY DON'T THEY THINK OF MY FAMILY FIRST??!?!”

“Her neighbors should take turns constantly knocking on her door to get her kids' approval on everything before they purchase. Gotta make sure these kids learn that the world will cater to them!”

“I hope we learned something today.”

Plenty of parents with small kids chimed in as well:

As a mom, w four kids who also decorated her house scary…it’s Halloween and I tell them it’s a scary decoration, or it's from a scary movie. No other explanation required. It's not that serious.

“I have four kids and I have never once expected the rest of the world to cater to them lol. Not every space is meant for kids and that’s okay. Maybe just try to avoid the house if you can.”

“…as a mom of teens I promise they’ll survive.”

Listen, it sounds like maybe this mom is operating from frustration and fatigue, and the parental balancing act of shielding your kids from the world and letting them learn to navigate through it isn’t easy—so let’s cut her some slack.

But just focusing on the conversation her video sparked, it’s easy to see how wanting to protect kids can go too far. After all, parents never quite know what is going to elicit an intense fear reaction from their kid—I was terrified of the Easter Bunny, for crying out loud. Having to explain the difference between real and imaginary is part of the parenting gig, and not someone else’s burden.

Bottom line: everyone seemed to agree that this was nothing worth getting upset about. And it’s nice to have universal agreement from time to time.

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