People discuss brutally honest reasons why so many Boomer grandparents seem to be hands-off

“They were also pretty hands off as parents, too.”

boomer, boomers, boomer grandparent, boomer grandparents, millennial parents
People offer their theories on why Boomer grandparents are more absent.Photo credit: Image via Canva

Boomer grandparents have recently come under fire by their Millennial children for how they grandparent. Many Millennials have opened up online about their parents’ less-than-stellar help with grandkids and their overall absence.

In a Reddit forum discussing the differences between generations, user @No_Language_423 posed the question: “Why are so many Boomer grandparents hands-off?” They went on to add, “Genuinely curious about this. Why is it that so many Boomer grandparents seem completely uninterested in being involved or helping out with their grandkids in a real, consistent way?”

In a further explanation, they added, “From what I’ve seen and heard, a lot of Boomers actually did have active, supportive parents when they were raising their own kids. Their moms would babysit, cook, or even move nearby to help out. But now, when Millennials become parents and hope for that same kind of support, it’s like even asking is seen as too much. Some even act insulted by the idea.”

old couple, grandparents, grandma, grandpa, older couple
up s GIF Giphy

However, they also noted this description of Boomer grandparents can’t be generalized. They added, “Of course, there are outliers. I’m not talking about the people who comment, ‘Well I help my kids all the time.’ That’s great, but I’m noticing a pattern, not isolated cases. There seems to be a broader generational vibe around this. It doesn’t feel like a case-by-case thing, it feels like a shift in attitude.”

They ended their post with more pondering thoughts. “At the same time, I hear a lot of Millennial parents saying they already plan to be very involved grandparents someday. So what changed? Is it a cultural shift? A difference in how retirement is viewed? Or maybe Boomers didn’t get as much help as we assume? Curious to hear what others think, especially from people who’ve experienced this dynamic firsthand.”

Many people chimed in with their thoughts and firsthand experience as to why Boomer grandparents seem to be hands-off. These are 15 of the most compelling responses.

boomer, boomers, boomer grandparents, grandparents, boomer grandkids
Old Lady Reaction GIF Giphy

“The parents of boomers didn’t call their kids boomers; they called them the ME generation. Because it was all about them. They’re the ME generation.” —@BEniceBAGECKA

“They were also pretty hands off as parents, too.”—@ azulsonador0309

“Their moms were 23 when they had kids. Their kids were 23 when they had kids. Grandma was 46. Today’s grandmas are in their sixties. They have a hard time getting through the day without their own naps.” —@Ok_Membership7264

“My theory is that it’s related to people having kids later in life. The grandparents are older on average.” —@nineoctopii

retire, retirement, boomer, boomers, boomer grandparent
Season 7 Showtime GIF by Dexter Giphy

“It’s because they had children because ‘that’s what’s done,’ not because they actually wanted them. Now that they’re ‘free,’ they aren’t going to give that up for anything. Notice how they are also distant with their own kids. It’s not like they’re interested in their kids, but not the grandkids. They want nothing to do with any of it.” —@ExcellentCold7354

“I’m 56. Most 56 year olds these days still have full time jobs and other responsibilities to where babysitting and moving are not viable options.” —@shammy_dammy

“Have you met Gen X? They were feral kids for a reason. The boomers could barely be bothered to raise their own children. They certainly aren’t going to be stepping up for the grandkids.” —@gwenkane404

anxious parent, millennial parent, high maintenance parenting, parent, millennial parents
My Baby No GIF by CBeebies HQ Giphy

“Millennials have also changed. Every time I offer to help, I get a scroll of instructions, gluten-free snacks, feelings charts, and nap negotiations that last longer than peace talks. Any small deviation is treated like trauma. It’s exhausting.” —@Revolutionary-Buy655

“I’m a millennial with Boomer parents. My parents were pretty hands off when I was a child, so it’s not surprising they were hands-off with their grandchildren. My parents dropped me off with my grandparents for weekends so frequently that I had my own bedroom there. I plan to be an involved grandparent because I value the relationship I had with my own grandparents so much. I feel sorry for the Boomers. They don’t realize how much they are missing out on by focusing on themselves.” —@CandidateNo2731

“They were sold the idea of retirement their entire lives. And now they feel entitled to that instead of adjusting with the times. They’re loss, historically.” —@rollbackprices

parents, parenting, frustrated parents, annoyed parents, boomer parents
season 7 kids GIF Giphy

“I think part of the answer is because a lot of them didn’t really want to have kids in the first place. But back then it’s just what you did. You got married at 20 and started popping out babies shortly after. If you didn’t, you were an abomination to the family.” —@Screamcheese99

“We are older than the previous generation’s grandparents. Believe it. Being 60+ and trying to care for toddlers is hard! Also, despite our experience and knowledge, we are often given ridiculous instructions and rules to follow by our own children, along with lists of likes/dislikes to adhere to. They expect entertainment in ways we are just not able to provide. Personal example from my attempt at babysitting my grandchild: I literally have not moved the car seat, that she installed, even an inch, but my DIL huffs, sighs, makes comments when getting her out of it. I am nice enough to drive her to her job to shorten their commute home, but I even do that wrong. So, forget it. I tried.” —@TXteachr2018

“I think its because we live so far away from each other.” —@Apprehensive_Pie_105

worlds apart, far away, long distance, live far apart, distant
could not be more different long distance GIF by Jay Sprogell Giphy

“Hmm. I feel like the sense of community is gone. Starting with the Boomers in my family they emigrated to the US and scattered away from each other. States away from each other they had no support system and worked themselves ragged. There wasn’t really a village to help raise a child. Now that they are retired it’s like having a second chance at life and they don’t want to spend it watching kids. They want to pursue their hobbies and relax which I honestly don’t blame them.” —@KorraNHaru

“Many Boomers (not all! so don’t come for me lol) have deep, untreated trauma and mental health issues. Many are even very detached from their own existences at this point. Narcissistic traits are common among them, which is based in deep self-loathing. I think deep down a lot of them feel ashamed of how they raised their kids and don’t want to mess up their grandkids as well.” —@Arysta

  • 8 fascinating ways parenting norms in other countries differ from the U.S.
    Other countries approach parenting very differently than we do in the U.S.Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    8 fascinating ways parenting norms in other countries differ from the U.S.

    Motivational speaker Jim Rohn is credited with the idea that each of us is the average of the five people we spend the most time with. The same could be said about the way we raise our kids. Each family has its own values, traditions and way of doing things, but we can’t help adopting…

    Motivational speaker Jim Rohn is credited with the idea that each of us is the average of the five people we spend the most time with. The same could be said about the way we raise our kids. Each family has its own values, traditions and way of doing things, but we can’t help adopting certain norms from our neighbors and the culture that surrounds us.

    That’s why it’s so fascinating to compare parenting in the United States with parenting in other countries around the world. Here are a few things American parents might be surprised to learn that parents and societies around the globe do differently:

    1. No kids menus

    Most American restaurants feature an altered menu for children, usually with simple foods like grilled cheese, chicken nuggets, or cheeseburgers.

    In many—perhaps even most—other countries, children are expected to eat smaller portions of what the adults are eating, even if it’s spicy or complex. In countries like Germany, many restaurants offer a menu item called a “robber’s plate,” an empty plate that allows kids to steal bites from their parents.

    america, asia, europe, africa, cultural differences, parenting, kids, dads, moms, children, parenting strategies
    A plate of dinosaur chicken nuggets and ketchup. Photo credit: Canva

    2. Homeschooling is rare

    According to Pew Research, about 3.4% of American children are homeschooled. That’s a relatively small percentage, but accounts for millions of kids. American parents are keen on homeschooling for many reasons, including distrust of the moral instruction in public schools or worries about the “school environment.”

    American parents who move abroad are often surprised to find that homeschooling is extremely rare or even illegal in most other countries. Its popularity is growing in the United Kingdom, but even there, only about 100,000 children are currently homeschooled. In places like Germany and the Netherlands, children are required by law to attend school.

    3. Some kids are allowed to drink alcohol

    The legal drinking age of 21 is strictly enforced in America, with little to no exceptions. What goes on in people’s private homes is anyone’s guess, but legally speaking, the rules are pretty black and white.

    In many countries around the world—including Australia, France, Canada, and Ireland—the legal drinking age is 18, and the overall approach to alcohol is far more casual. However, there are numerous exceptions in several of these places. In the U.K., for example, 15-year-olds can have a beer or glass of wine with dinner at a restaurant as long as they’re supervised by an adult. At home, almost anything goes, with the minimum legal drinking age on private premises in the U.K. being five—although doctors strongly advise against this.

    4. Postpartum care

    In America, it’s common for mothers to leave the hospital about 48 to 96 hours after giving birth, depending on the delivery method and any complications. In the past, new moms would get a single postpartum checkup about six weeks later, although standards have recently changed to encourage earlier support.

    Giving birth in other countries around the world can be drastically different. In the U.K., new mothers can be discharged from the hospital as soon as six hours after an uncomplicated birth, which is one of the fastest turnarounds in the world.

    In China, however, it’s common for new moms to “sit the month” and take 30 to 40 days of confined rest at home or in a “birth hotel.” South Korea, meanwhile, sends about 85% of new mothers to a joriwon, a specialized postpartum care facility, for about two weeks.

    5. Independent kids

    In the U.S., kids are spending less time outside. Some estimates say only about 6% of children regularly play outside unsupervised, and around 11% walk or bike to school alone, a number that has fallen dramatically over time.

    This is a stark difference from many other cultures around the world, where kids frequently exercise more day-to-day independence. In most European countries, at least 40% of kids walk or bike to school. Japan is famous for children as young as six taking the subway and running errands independently, thanks to high levels of social trust.

    “We don’t hover and helicopter kids here like American parents,” a U.S. parent living in Switzerland wrote on Reddit. “Kids walk to school on their own in elementary. They can take public transportation on their own, and parents don’t worry.”

    6. Bedtime differences

    Americans march to the beat of their own drum in the evening, with kids, on average, going to bed early—and almost always in their own beds.

    About 90% of American kids under 10 are in bed by 9 p.m. Bedtimes around the world, however, vary greatly, with countries in Southern Europe like Italy and Spain allowing kids to stay up past 10 or 11 p.m. for late dinners and socializing. In other places, bedtime is much more rigorous. Kids in Germany and New Zealand have some of the earliest bedtimes around.

    Co-sleeping is also a major difference. Sharing a bed with your infant is on the rise in America, but it’s still recommended against by the American Academy of Pediatrics. However, the U.S. doesn’t hold a candle to countries in Asia, Africa and Latin America, where more than 70% of young children share a bed with their parents.

    7. Bilingual kids

    About 20% of kids in the U.S. speak more than one language, usually because someone at home speaks it regularly. In many other countries around the world, learning multiple languages is far more common.

    According to Quartz, “Almost every country in Europe requires students as young as six to learn a foreign language, usually English. Even more impressive, over 20 European countries (including France) require students to learn two foreign languages in school for at least one school year.”

    America is far from the most monolingual country, however. Places like Hungary, Japan, South Korea, and Brazil place little importance on kids learning English or any other foreign language.

    8. Greeting and talking to adults

    It’s common in America for kids to be shy around adults or to have their interactions guided and supervised by a parent. In many other countries, kids are taught from a young age to formally greet adults as a show of respect.

    “Greeting and talking to adults is taught early on,” wrote one U.S. parent who raised their children in Spain. “My boys always note how awkward some of their US peers are when talking to adults or public speaking. Looking into someone’s eyes when speaking is another thing they noted.”

    It’s fascinating to consider alternative approaches to parenting that would seem completely inappropriate in America but tend to work just fine in many other parts of the world. American parents would probably have a hard time letting their six-year-old walk to school independently without drawing suspicion from neighbors or law enforcement. It just goes to show that not every interesting idea can be implemented everywhere, and that our unique cultures shape the way we raise our kids, for better or worse.

  • Dad turns his 3-year-old’s whimsical stories into song lyrics and people are hooked
    A young girl with messy hands and a man playing the guitar. Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    Dad turns his 3-year-old’s whimsical stories into song lyrics and people are hooked

    When Stephen Spencer got his PhD in music theory and composition, he likely never imagined how he’d one day use that training to propel himself to viral fame. The composer and songwriter has always enjoyed turning everyday things into little musical ditties, or even full songs. But when he became a dad to a precocious…

    When Stephen Spencer got his PhD in music theory and composition, he likely never imagined how he’d one day use that training to propel himself to viral fame.

    The composer and songwriter has always enjoyed turning everyday things into little musical ditties, or even full songs. But when he became a dad to a precocious and creative daughter, he suddenly found himself with more inspiration than he knew what to do with.

    Spencer began paying close attention when his daughter’s stories became longer and more elaborate. “She started giving me these stories—real narratives that had a beginning, middle and end combined with toddler logic and grammar—they just sounded like songs to me,” he tells Muse.

    At first, he thought he’d record a few as a fun experiment to share with friends and family—sort of a musical photo album. But almost as soon as he began posting the songs on Instagram, they went far more viral than he ever could have imagined.

    Spencer currently has more than 300,000 followers, even though his first “toddler songs” clip was uploaded only a few months ago.

    kids, parenting, family, dads, fatherhood, fathers, singers, songwriters, funny songs, viral instagram
    The effortless creativity of toddlers is a joy to experience. Photo credit: Canva

    The first song goes like this:

    “There was a little woman/Who liked wigglin’ so much (she liked wigglin’, she just really liked wigglin’)/Her mom said/Her mommy said ‘you can’t’/So she goed to her room/And she wiggled again…”

    Cute, right? Yes, it’s all very adorable—until you actually take the time to listen to Spencer’s song. Then you’ll be blown away.

    His voice. The production value. The arrangement. It’s all top-notch. Frankly, the songs—which commenters have dubbed “toddler yacht rock” or “tot rock”—are far better than they have any right to be.

    Check out “Wigglin’ Woman” here:

    It’s no wonder that the very first clip received nearly three million views on Instagram

    And just a week or so later, Spencer was back with another banger:

    “There was a purple bear princess/She was a grown up dog/She was a grown up purple bear princess dog/(What was her name?)/Uh ‘Blossom’/ (That’s a nice name)/Actually it’s ‘Crudda’”

    It’s beautiful lyricism, and all parents of toddlers will relate to the hazy logic, made-up words, and impeccable improvisational skills. The fact that Spencer can turn them into genuine hits is incredible.

    Parents and their kids—heck, anyone with ears—can’t stop listening to Spencer’s tunes on repeat

    “Phil Collins could have co-produced this one,” one commenter wrote.

    “I may have listened to this 948572 times,” added another.

    But probably the thing that’s really sticking with viewers is the amazing, unspoken bond between dad and daughter hidden in the lyrics.

    “I’m imagining how happy your daughter will be once she’s older, maybe a parent herself, and revisits these videos,” someone wrote under a recent video. “You’re an amazing musical talent & a even better dad.”

    In fact, Spencer says that the pure, unfiltered, joyful creativity that pours effortlessly out of his daughter has inspired both him and his music students.

    “I think that children are the perfect model for how we should create as adults. There’s this unfiltered joy. You’re in the sandbox playing and not worrying about how things should be judged or appraised. … And yeah, it has inspired me as a creator. It’s also inspired me as an educator,” he says, adding that he hopes he can teach his students to follow the threads of their own joy and curiosity, the way his daughter does.

    For now, Spencer has a few songs up on Spotify and potentially a handful of music videos in the works. Meanwhile, he and his daughter are still churning out new songs and will continue to do so as long as it brings them both happiness.

  • Mom shares photo from her kid’s 101 Dalmatians school event that went off the rails
    A toddler in a Dalmatian costume and a shocked woman.Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    Mom shares photo from her kid’s 101 Dalmatians school event that went off the rails

    Schools often have fun activities scheduled for the 100th day of school. Mom Emily Haswell was prepared for the adorable school activities for her daughter. Instead of celebrating 100 days of school, the preschool decided to hold activities around the 101st day. Parents were asked to dress their children as Dalmatians, seemingly as a theme…

    Schools often have fun activities scheduled for the 100th day of school. Mom Emily Haswell was prepared for the adorable school activities for her daughter. Instead of celebrating 100 days of school, the preschool decided to hold activities around the 101st day.

    Parents were asked to dress their children as Dalmatians, seemingly as a theme for the classic Disney movie 101 Dalmatians. But at some point, wires must have gotten crossed, cut, and thrown over a cliff. The photo sent to parents displayed something hysterically horrifying that Haswell wasn’t prepared for.

    101 days of school, dalmatians, funny, family, parenting, culture
    A woman looks shocked. Photo credit: Canva

    “Today was my daughter’s 101st day of school,” Haswell says in an Instagram video. “So I sent her to school, all the kids went to school as Dalmatians, and they had a puppy parade. She was so excited, and I was so excited for her. And then I checked the little website to look at pictures of the day, and I gasped.”

    Admittedly, the mom says some people may think of Dalmatians and their connection with firefighting, but she did not. When she prepared her daughter for the 101st day of school dressed as the spotted pooch, she assumed the activity was based on the Disney movie. But when she checked photos of her daughter’s day, it looked as if a classroom of puppies had been engulfed in flames.

    101 days of school, dalmatians, funny, family, parenting, culture
    Dalmatians. Photo credit: Canva

    Yes, the children were all dressed as spotted puppies, seated in front of a wall of flames.

    “When I saw that picture, I gasped. And I thought, ‘Now, why do they have my baby doing a hell-themed photo shoot? I had to check the paperwork,’” Haswell says before adding that a firetruck might have been a better choice. “I thought the teachers were like, ‘We’re in hell,’” she laughs.

    Viewers were equally as confused as the mom, with one person saying, “Nah, because if they are locking in on 101 Dalmations/101 days of school – and even using a Disney dalmatian on the little sign the kid is holding – they canNOT mix up the themes and go ‘SURPRISE! We actually meant the fire station dalmatians, so here’s a wall-sized backdrop of a structure fire. Enjoy!’”

    A teacher guesses what actually happened, writing, “I can promise you as a teacher… There was at least one teacher who saw it and thought, ‘um, this looks like puppy children in hell,’ but the person who ordered the backdrop and put it up was really excited about it and the rest just said, ‘okay.’”

    Others took the opportunity to joke about the situation: “101 Damnations. DAMNATIONS. I’m sorry you all read it wrong.”

    Someone else laughs, “I’m sorry this is so insane and deeply hysterical.”

    101 days of school, dalmatians, funny, family, parenting, culture
    Flames (left). A Dalmatian (right). Photo credit: Canva

    “The teachers are sending an SOS!” One person says.

    “I mean, it’s probably better than the teachers dressing up as Cruella de Ville,” another jokes.

    A firefighter’s wife chimes in, saying, “I’ve been a firefighter’s wife for over 20 years and I can tell you right now I would have been just as horrified.”

    One person remembers a fire from the 101 Dalmatians movie, so maybe that’s where the idea came from: “I feel like there is a scene where they all get out of a fire? They use the soot to disguise themselves as labs lol. But this is insane, what a weird idea for a photo backdrop for kids.”

  • Divorced dad shares beautiful, final bedtime routine with 11-year-old son
    A father and son share a close bond.Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    Divorced dad shares beautiful, final bedtime routine with 11-year-old son

    Watching kids grow up is one of the great honors of parenthood, but it comes with many bittersweet moments. For one man, it was letting go of a nine-year-long bedtime routine he had created with his preteen son. Redditor YoTeach68 shared his gut-wrenching and all-too-familiar parenting story with his fellow dads. He explained that he…

    Watching kids grow up is one of the great honors of parenthood, but it comes with many bittersweet moments.

    For one man, it was letting go of a nine-year-long bedtime routine he had created with his preteen son. Redditor YoTeach68 shared his gut-wrenching and all-too-familiar parenting story with his fellow dads.

    He explained that he was a divorced dad with 50/50 custody. One way he made the most of his time with his son was by continuing a cherished bedtime routine they had done since his son was just two years old.

    “We developed a whole bedtime routine that included me reading aloud to him, then talking about our day (highs and lows, that kind of thing), then me singing the same three short songs to him (songs that I learned at a summer camp when I was a kid, and the camp where he currently goes) while rubbing his back,” he shared.

    As a single dad, he acknowledged that some nights were harder than others. He also knew things wouldn’t be this way forever, adding, “Obviously I couldn’t be singing to him and rubbing his back his whole life.”

    After getting advice from fellow dads on when it would be appropriate to cut it off, the consensus was to let his son decide.

    @wholeparent

    Parent of pre-teen/ late grade school aged kids. light up every time your kid walks into the room. This is going to teach them that attention is not earned, it is just part of being in loving, caring relationship. And that attention is going to be returned back to you when they turn into a teenager. Because the number one issue parents of teams report to me is the indifference of their teenager toward them. Follow for more tips on how to have a better relationship with your kids. #parentsofteens #teeangers #raisinggoodhumans #raisegoodkids #respectfulparenting #discipline #teachrespect

    ♬ original sound – Jon

    The final bedtime

    Unfortunately, when the time finally came, he shared how he knew it was time.

    “He’s 11 now, and over the past two weeks or so he’s been telling me each night that he was just going to go to bed after giving me a quick hug and that I didn’t need to read to him or anything,” he explained.

    Sensing the change, he decided to talk to his son about it.

    “I finally sat him down and asked him if he felt he was outgrowing the bedtime routine, and he said yes. I told him how much the bedtime routine had meant to me, because I have no memories of my own parents putting me to bed (I do have memories of a cassette player in my bed that read books aloud). I told him I hoped it had meant something to him. I asked if he would indulge me and let me put him to bed one last time, and he obliged.”

    The two then did their final bedtime routine together.

    “Last night we went through the routine one last time (and I even pulled out one of his favorite picture books from when he was about 5). We talked about our day. I sang the songs. I rubbed his back. Then I kissed him on the cheek, told him I would cherish the memories of putting him to bed the last nine years, turned off his light, and closed his door behind me).”

    Dads respond

    Many dads shared their emotional responses to the story:

    “Welp I’m f*cking crying on the toilet as my wife and my son nap lol.”

    “❤️ that was lovely. My daughter is 5 and we put her to bed with a routine every night. Sometimes it’s fun and lovely and sometimes it’s a struggle. And sometimes it’s both. And part of me is looking forward to her doing to bed herself and part of me knows I’ll miss it.”

    “I’ve been thinking about this a lot with my boys lately. They’re still young, and still love the bed time routine with me and their mum. But I’m already getting emotional over the idea that one day, like you, I’ll have to do it one last time. Treasure the memories forever, as I’m sure you will. I don’t really know what else to say, but…yeah, this made me feel things even more. Kudos.”

    “Lying in bed now with my snoring 4 year old, after doing our bedtime routine and this post hit hard. Giving him a big hug and kiss before I leave as always but I’m going to do it more mindfully. Hopefully he still wants me to do this until he’s 11 too. You are a great dad.”

    “Damn, f*cking onions.”

    A therapist explains how dads can cope

    Hillary Pilotto, therapist and founder of Better Balance Counseling, Ltd., told Upworthy that this transition is a normal (albeit painful) experience that many parents face.

    “At 11, kids are right in the middle of the individuation process; developmentally, they are supposed to be pulling away,” she explained. “Wanting more independence, more privacy, more of their own identify separate from mom and dad. That’s not rejection. That’s healthy.”

    And this may bring some relief: it’s actually a sign of good parenting.

    “A child who feels secure enough in their attachment to say ‘I’m ready to do this on my own’ is actually a sign that the bedtime routine worked,” she added.

    While these may be “good” things, Pilotto acknowledged that none of that makes it easier for the parent.

    “There’s a grief in these transitions that doesn’t get talked about enough,” she shared. “It is not a dramatic loss; no one died, nothing went wrong, but something real is ending and it’s okay to feel sad about that. I tell parents: you’re allowed to mourn the little kid even while you’re proud of the one standing in front of you.”

    She recommended that other parents take notes from the dad who shared his story if they are going through a similar transition.

    “The best thing a parent can do in these moments is what the dad did; honor it. Name it,” she said. “Show your kid that transitions matter and that it’s okay to feel two things at once. That’s a lesson that will stay with them long after the bedtime routine is gone.”

  • Mom shares daughter’s epic response to girls who bullied her, and people are applauding
    Emmie Droubay shares her response to kids saying, “We don’t like you.”Photo credit: @marendroubay/Instagram
    ,

    Mom shares daughter’s epic response to girls who bullied her, and people are applauding

    It can be tough for parents to see their kids on the receiving end of unkind comments. But sometimes, we’re reminded that many kids have unshakable confidence—and actually have a thing or two to show us about what resilience really looks like. Recently, a mom named Maren Droubay shared that her young daughter Emmie was…

    It can be tough for parents to see their kids on the receiving end of unkind comments. But sometimes, we’re reminded that many kids have unshakable confidence—and actually have a thing or two to show us about what resilience really looks like.

    Recently, a mom named Maren Droubay shared that her young daughter Emmie was the target of some mean-girl bullying. A few girls had apparently told Emmie, “We don’t even like you.” Ouch.

    But apparently Emmie was completely, totally, undeniably unbothered. And Droubay was so proud of her response that she shared it on Instagram.

    Holding a very apropos princess wand, Emmie recited the words:

    “Well, guess what? My family thinks I’m a princess, and I’m super kind and nice…If you don’t think that, that’s okay because that’s what I think of myself, and that’s who I actually am…I know who I am.”

    “I hope someday I can be as confident as she is,” Droubay wrote in her video. She added in the caption that this was “one of those moments where you realize you might be doing at least one thing right as a parent.”

    Indeed, viewers credited Droubay for Emmie’s delightful resilience.

    “That is the product of some A-plus parenting and a village that has poured confidence into this babygirl. May we see more of this in our kids. All of our kids,” one viewer wrote. 

    Another added, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if all parents talked to their children like this and they all thought they were super nice and kind. Good job, she is a sweet little princess! 🌟”

    While Droubay told Upworthy that Emmie’s self-esteem comes rather naturally (“she has always been a confident girl”), she nonetheless has proactively worked to “encourage” it, mainly by “speaking to her with love.”

    “One thing I learned in college that really impacted me is that children form their sense of self in the first five years of life,” recalled Droubay. “I have tried to make them feel loved as much as I can because of that. We love the new Cinderella and so ‘have courage and be kind’ has been a repeated phrase for me with my children.”

    That is a sentiment shared by experts like parenting educator Samantha Moe, who said that words of affirmation “help children feel valued and reinforce their positive qualities.” That said, many parents might be concerned, and rightfully so, that too much praise could cause a child to seek external validation. In the video below, Moe explained that even consistent “I love yous” can offer a self-esteem boost without causing dependence.

    Since the encounter, Droubay has spoken to the other girls’ parents, and all is well. Her stance: “Little girls are just kids! Not every kid has the tools to be kind and is still learning. Every parent is doing their absolute best.”

    And even better, Emmie has gotten to see the incredible impact her video has had and has apparently “cried happy tears” because of it. All in all, it’s a pretty happy ending. It has inspired Droubay to offer these words of encouragement to fellow parents:

    “Your children only have one brief childhood, and then they go out into the world as adults. Our words have deep impact on who they will be. Every action we take as parents affects their lives—obviously I mess up as a parent all the time—but we have the power to speak love, kindness, and condolence into our kids—so why not?”

    Can’t argue with that. 

  • Doctor adopts 5-year-old boy who showed up to heart surgery completely alone
    A woman looking concerned. A boy in a hospital bed. Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    Doctor adopts 5-year-old boy who showed up to heart surgery completely alone

    Back in 2022, True, a five-year-old under the care of social services, was dropped off at Children’s Nebraska in Omaha for a seven-hour heart procedure. No parent, guardian, or caseworker was to be found. True had been struggling with complications from a previous open-heart surgery for his congenital heart disease, a condition that caused parts…

    Back in 2022, True, a five-year-old under the care of social services, was dropped off at Children’s Nebraska in Omaha for a seven-hour heart procedure. No parent, guardian, or caseworker was to be found.

    True had been struggling with complications from a previous open-heart surgery for his congenital heart disease, a condition that caused parts of his heart to be underdeveloped. Unfortunately, his caseworker had COVID-19 at the time, leaving True to face the surgery alone.

    A fateful encounter

    After spotting him in the pre-op room, pediatric cardiac anesthesiologist Dr. Amy Beethe “could not stop staring” at the sweet child’s face throughout the surgery, CBS News reported.

    “It just took me back that this four-year-old kid was undergoing heart surgery and no one was there,” she told KETV.

    Despite already having six children of her own, Beethe couldn’t shake the connection she felt to True and called her husband Ryan to discuss making him their seventh child.

    “I just said, ‘we need to have a talk when we get home and I need ya to have an open mind,’” Beethe recalled. 

    Though initially “hesitant,” Ryan nonetheless agreed that “it just felt right.” A year and a half later, True was adopted.

    “It didn’t take long to fall in love with him and know that we needed him in our family,” Ryan told KETV

    The story doesn’t end there, however

    Beethe and her husband knew that True had five siblings in the same foster care situation and not only worked to get them adopted into stable homes, but also into homes within Beethe’s community—including her sister, her sister-in-law, and a coworker. This ensured the entire family stayed in close contact.

    The couple even adopted True’s older sister, Laney, bringing the family to eight children in total. While the now 10-year-old will need a full heart transplant in the future, he won’t be facing those challenges alone.

    The effects of sibling separation in foster care

    Sibling separation is recognized as a significant, yet common issue in the child welfare system. It is estimated that between 53% and 80% of siblings in foster care are separated from one or more of their brothers or sisters. This is either because the foster home is not large enough to accommodate them, because of different care needs, or because of the timing of their removal. It makes an already traumatic situation worse—potentially leading to long-term mental health issues, substance abuse, academic struggles, difficulties maintaining close relationships, and a lasting feeling of rejection.

    The fact that Beethe could keep all six siblings together is nothing short of a miracle. She hopes their story will inspire others to consider taking in a foster child: “They are like a little flower bud that just blossoms. If more people would do it, it would change the world.”

  • 18 moms share their most intense and strange pregnancy cravings
    Women share their most intense and strange pregnancy cravings.Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    18 moms share their most intense and strange pregnancy cravings

    Pregnancy cravings are one of the many bizarre things experienced during pregnancy. From sweet to salty, they run the gamut of tastes. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that an estimated 50–90% of women experience pregnancy cravings and noted that they often begin at the end of the first trimester and become most…

    Pregnancy cravings are one of the many bizarre things experienced during pregnancy. From sweet to salty, they run the gamut of tastes.

    A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that an estimated 50–90% of women experience pregnancy cravings and noted that they often begin at the end of the first trimester and become most intense during the second trimester.

    A June 2025 study on pregnancy cravings found that pregnant women tended to crave cold foods rather than hot ones. They also preferred “crunchy” textures over foods described as “smooth” or “creamy.”

    @jayshettypodcast

    To all the moms out there – what’s the strangest thing you’ve craved during pregnancy? 🤯🎙️ full episode all about pregnancy nutrition with @Glucose Goddess out everywhere now. LINK IN BIO or search ‘On Purpose Glucose Goddess’ to watch on YouTube #pregnancyjourney #motherhood #pregnant #moms #pregnantlife

    ♬ original sound – On Purpose Podcast

    Moms on Reddit opened up about their intense and strange pregnancy cravings, sharing the crazy combos they couldn’t get enough of while pregnant. These are some of their salty, sweet, and super-weird cravings:

    Salty cravings

    “There’s a mom and pop restaurant almost 45 minutes from my house, and very much out of my budget, that has the most AMAZING dry rub boneless wings- and their ranch is house made. I want to BE the chicken wing, I swear to god it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life.” – Disastrous-Radish504

    “I just about had a meltdown at work when the fast food place forgot ketchup. I actually walked through the entire office asking if anyone had ketchup packets stashed away somewhere, ransacked the break room…I finally went down to the cafe in the building and asked to buy just ketchup. The guy took one look at me and just started pouring it into a container, free of charge, he could see my big belly and my face and pretty sure he knew exactly what was up.” – superherostitch

    “McDonald’s hamburgers (like the super basic one that comes in a happy meal) with no cheese and extra extra extra extra extra extra pickles.” – glory87

    “Anything with lots of avocado, lemon, meat, and olive oillllll 🤤.” – PitchGlittering

    “My favorite craving was Olive Garden’s salad, I ate it every day for a week it was so intense, my weirdest was my craving for McDonald’s fish fillets 🤢🤢🤢 I still can’t wrap my head around it because I think they are so gross, fish and cheese is the worst but man I’d ask my husband every other day to stop after work and get me at least 2, for a solid month. Ugh.” – CoffeeTvCandy

    “The first time I found myself eating beef jerky in my car in a gas station parking lot without any recollection of purchasing it was when I realized I needed to buy a pregnancy test. I’d been vegetarian for over 8 years at that point and now for over 30 years aside from that pregnancy.” – Visual-Fig-4763

    Sweet cravings

    “Watermelon and fruit in general the first trimester. Then smoothies and milkshakes second trimester. I think I just wanted all the foods third trimester, but could only eat a few bites at a time.” – Jusmine984

    “Blood oranges. I just couldn’t stop eating them. Also helped that we lived in Florida. So I was like a blood orange hoarder for 9 months. Would make my husband go to random farms to pick up oranges on his way from work.”- Senior_Tangerine3083

    “Chocolate chip pancakes.” – soul-searcher3476

    “Cinnamon Toast Crunch lol. I’m not a cereal person but i was when pregnant.” – tiredmillienal

    “Oooooh I’ve got some funny ones. I had a lot of cravings, but ironically my most intense ones weren’t for food. Except at the end- at the end of my first pregnancy, I VIOLENTLY craved snow cones. Bought a literal whole machine yo make them. At the end of my second, it was popsicles, so I was in heaven at the hospital 🤣🤣🤣 was like ‘please can i have a popsicle?’ And the hospital was super happy to bring me all the popsicles I wanted LOL.” – Darkovika

    “Mine was orange juice. For about the first 8 weeks, even before I knew I was pregnant, I was going through a half gallon a day.” – ButterflyTangerine

    Crazy combination cravings

    “With my first: all the cheeseburgers and those weird candy orange slice candies. I’m 32 weeks with my second and I’ve consumed nearly all the heirloom tomatoes the world has grown. That’s why your grocery store doesn’t have them. Twas meeeeeeeeee.” – heylittlefightergirl

    “With my oldest I craved a mayo lettuce sandwich – yep just a mayo, lettuce on white bread.” – syaami

    “Sushi. Raw fish. And blue cheese. Not even kidding. I was so nauseous all the time, and thinking about eating sushi was the only thing that got me through.” – Ok_Bumblebee_3978

    “The food that slapped was Sea Salt and Vinegar chips with Sardines stuck between two crunchy chips.” – DogsNCoffeeAddict

    “Vegetable sushi, stewed okra and tomatoes, and M&Ms.” – ghostdumpsters

    “One time I went to the grocery store at 10 pm because I was craving salt and vinegar chips with French onion dip. Sounds gross but damn did that hit the spot at the time.” – yogipierogi5567

  • Mississippi church posts new ‘loud kid policy’ on Facebook and people are raving
    A church went viral for its tongue-in-cheek new policy regarding “loud kids.”Photo credit: First Baptist Union/Facebook & Canva

    It seems kids are becoming less and less welcome in public spaces. For one thing, fewer Americans are choosing to have children at all. Couple that with social media, and the trend has only served to amplify the disruption kids cause in traditionally adult spaces like breweries and brunch spots. An eternal struggle exists between busy parents with no babysitter who still want to enjoy avocado toast and the folks who’d prefer to do so without noisy kids around.

    But surely, one place where families are always welcome would have to be church—the original community gathering space. A place where all are not only welcome, but embraced. Even loud kids. However, this has turned out not to be strictly true either.

    Over the years, many churches have separated children from the main worship space and instead provided them with age-appropriate activities. It’s a noble idea, but many parents say the practice feels exclusionary and forces families to spend that time apart. Even in the supposedly loving environment of church, there are plenty of folks who want to hear the service without the wail of a toddler in a tantrum.

    Julie, a blogger and pastor’s wife, writes, “If you walk into a church that doesn’t have a heart for kids, you’ll know almost instantly. Congregants will look annoyed at childlike behavior and sounds, they’ll strongly discourage children from staying in the worship service, and folks will appear generally disinterested in them.”

    One church is going viral for its cleverly worded “new policy” when it comes to noisy kids attending services.

    church, family, kids, children, noisy kids, child free, kid free spaces, kids in public, parenting, kids at church
    Many churches don’t allow children in the main worship area, or at least frown upon it. Photo credit: Canva

    First Baptist Union in Union, Mississippi, recently posted an announcement on its Facebook page regarding loud kids at church.

    “There have been updates to the Loud Kid Policy at FB Union,” the post read. “If you have a loud kid, then this is for you. I know it might ruffle some feathers, but we had to do the right thing.”

    The whole memo has to be read to be fully appreciated, but in short, church leaders announced they would offer “five” options for families who wanted to visit with loud children. With a little clever wordplay, all of the options amounted to the same thing: Bring them.

    “We believe the sound of children in worship is not a distraction. It is evidence of life, growth, and the future of the church. If your child makes noise, you are not bothering us. You are blessing us.”

    The post was a viral hit. Not only was it re-shared hundreds of times by the Union community, but it also reached far beyond Mississippi. The original memo and slight alterations of it were posted by churches across the country.

    Reactions were largely positive. Many parents and church members chimed in to comment on how much they appreciated the tongue-in-cheek gesture:

    “I’m not even a member of FBC so I’m unsure as to why I’m seeing this, however, this is great. A pastor once said that a church without children is the signs of a dying church. Bring in the little ones!!”

    “A friend shared your post with me and wow! What a relief! Someone from leadership [at my church] called me and told me that my 18month old foster son was very distracting and then he asked me 1) Do I know we have a nursery? And 2) Why am I not utilizing it. I was livid.”

    “I once heard a preacher say, ‘If I can’t preach over a crying kid, it’s time for me to stop preaching,’ when someone got up to take a loud child out of the sanctuary.”

    “Not a member but I love this. When I first came to our church I was so worried cuz all of my kids are loud. When they would be loud id look at the older adults and would see smiles. Now I bring our baby in and they all love seeing him. Its so nice not to feel like I can’t sit thru a service because my baby is fussy.”

    However, not everyone was on board with the sentiment, especially as the announcement began reaching a wider audience. After New York Times columnist David French reposted it, a few folks took umbrage.

    “I don’t love it at all. If your child is being unruly, loud, or disruptive during a church service, you should be considerate of everyone else and step out with them. If they’re old enough, they should be disciplined appropriately. Assuming it’s acceptable to let a child scream and whine through the service is ridiculous.”

    “No. When the Word of God is preached, we should have an environment that eliminates distractions. I have 5 beautiful children, but if they’re starting to fuss, or just be a normal 2-4 year-old, we remove them and take them to children’s church or out in the foyer.”

    With its post about loud kids at church, First Baptist Union unintentionally sparked a fascinating debate about the presence of children in public, even in family-friendly spaces. Whether we like it or not, children come pre-packaged with noise, movement, and disruption—and it’s not always the result of poor parenting. Whether you find their childish chaos beautiful and invigorating or extremely annoying is a matter of personal taste.

    One thing is for sure. With more and more breweries outright banning children and airlines separating young children from their parents during the seating process, thereby sparking wars in the economy section, it’s refreshing to see at least one place take a stand and allow kids to be seen and heard. No matter how loud.

Culture

Ohio library pokes fun at McDonald’s CEO by taking the ‘eat a book’ challenge

Pets

A new law in Sweden requires its citizens to check on their cats at least twice a day

Generations

Gen X teens in 1986 predicted what life would be like today. Here’s what they got right.

Identity

Expatriate reveals 8 words and phrases that mean the opposite to Brits and Americans