upworthy

gen x

Pop Culture

40 years later, people have a very different opinion on how 'Pretty in Pink' should have ended

It's not all about Duckie.

Canva

Some still ponder Duckie or Blane.

What about prom, Blane? That was a very serious question in 1986 and it still stands today. What…about…prom? Of course, this riveting line (beautifully delivered with pure teenage angst by Molly Ringwald's Andie to Andrew McCarthy's Blane) is from the 80s teen dramedy Pretty in Pink. Written by John Hughes, the king of Gen X cinema (even though he, himself, was a Boomer) and directed by Howard Deutch, this movie had everything: hats, Annie Potts and yes, Duckie.

As we get closer to the 40th anniversary of its release, some still argue about that ending. Spoilers ahead. To sum up the plot: Andie, a senior in an affluent Illinois high school, was best friends with a funny oddball called Duckie, played by Jon Cryer. They both lived on the proverbial "wrong side of the tracks," so when popular hottie Blane took an interest in her, she fell hard.

(Note: Blane's library computer trick before there were barely computers was the love bomb of all love bombs.)

  A scene from the film Pretty in Pink.  www.youtube.com, David Gibson, Paramount Pictures 

Against all odds, they fall in love and Duckie is super jealous. Blane asks Andie to prom but then succumbs to peer pressure (mainly from his friend Steff, played villainously by James Spader) and breaks it off. Andie won't be defeated so she sews together material her sweet dad (Harry Dean Stanton) finds for her and makes the ugliest prom dress of all time. She goes to the prom with Duckie, and when Blane sees the ugly prom dress, he changes his mind and professes his love. They kiss in the rain. (Note: The dress was so awful, Molly Ringwald herself has discussed it, openly.)

 James Spader, Pretty in Pink, 80s, movies James Spader in Pretty in Pink.  Giphy Paramount Pictures 

That's pretty much it. When I saw this as a tween, I cried and wondered where my Blane was. As Andie entered the dance hall with OMD's "If You Leave" underscoring her anxiety, I felt every centimeter of her heartbeat. And when Blane told her he loved her, none of my friends ever once questioned that THEY should be together.

It was the 80s, after all, and it was a true teen love story. But, as many now know, it wasn't supposed to end that way. Originally, Andie DID choose Duckie, but when they showed it to a test audience, they hated it so much that the whole cast had to come in for reshoots.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

As years went on, some changed their minds and came to Duckie's defense. That's who she should have chosen, many said - the best friend with a heart of gold. But not so fast, says a somewhat recent Reddit post. In the subreddit r/80s, someone asked, "Should Andie have ended up with Duckie?"

The answers are thoughtful and somewhat surprising. Many on the thread think the reshoot got it right. The idea that she would be pestered into winding up with the guy she wasn't attracted to upset some commenters. "This is what it comes down to for me. You can’t force attraction, and she did not like him like that."

Another shares, "Duckie was weird, she was totally out of his league, and she had goals and aspirations in life. He didn't appear to have a job or any future prospects for goals in his life. Things still turned out great for him though. Duckie ended up with 'Duckette' Kristy Swanson."

 duckie, jon cryer, kristy swanson, pretty in pink movie Duckie gets chosen in Pretty in Pink.  Giphy  

One person notably points out that had Robert Downey Jr. taken the role of Duckie, there might have been more chemistry. "Nice to see that even a big actor like John Cryer can get friend-zoned. Also interesting to think that had RDJ been cast as planned as Ducky (sic) the original ending may have been left."

And this Redditor went all in: "I will defend her decision to go with Blane to the end. I don't know how anyone else's high school worked but in mine if one of the Chosen Ones/In Crowd picked someone like Andie to date, there's no way in hell that the Andie-like person would choose Duckie over the Chosen Ones/In Crowd person. It just wouldn't happen, not in that era anyway. Of course there could be & were exceptions, but if you were one of the Unwashed Masses & someone from the Cool Clique showed you interest you'd totally ditch the Unwashed Masses for the Cool Kids."

 Molly Ringwald, prom dress, Pretty in pink, movies, John Hughes Molly Ringwald in her Pretty in Pink prom dress.  Giphy Paramount Pictures 

Of course, there's the point of view that she should/could have chosen neither of those two. "Neither one. Duckie wasn’t her type and Blane was a sh---y person. He can say 'I always believed in you' but that is horse crap."

Regardless of who she should have chosen, perhaps we can all agree that Blane is not a name - it's an appliance.

@johnhughesmovies

BLANE? HIS NAME IS BLANE? That's a major appliance, that's not a name! 😭 #prettyinpink #duckie #prettyinpinkmovie #johnhughesmovie #johnhughes #mollyringwald

 
From Your Site Articles
pretty in pink
Parenting

Gen Xer asking about Boomers' 'emotional immaturity' taps a multi-generational parenting issue

“If we don’t ASK about it or TALK about it, the problem doesn’t exist!”

Image via Canva

People discuss what it's like growing up with emotionally immature parents.

Parenting styles change every generation. Gen X parents didn't have technology (i.e. Google) to rely on to raise their kids, while Millennial parents today are all about gentle parenting. While Boomers have come under fire for being absent parents and grandparents, a common gripe that people have about their parents from all generations is their lack of emotional maturity.

In a Reddit forum of Gen Xers, member @Architecturegirl opened the discussion about emotionally immature parents. She explains that after reading a book on adult children of emotionally immature parents, she noted that while many Boomer parents have been accused of being emotionally immature--it really had nothing to do with their generation. "I had never really thought of emotional immaturity - like an inability to admit mistakes or preferring mind-numbing, polite conversation to meaningful connection - might be a generational issue," she wrote.

Rather, being raised by emotionally immature parents is a common multi-generational parenting issue--and many people have opened up about what the realities of being raised by emotionally immature parents looked like. Plus, they shared how they are finding healing. These are their most relatable stories.

 mature, emotional maturity, emotionally immature, emotional immaturity, emotional intelligence This Country Comedy GIF by BBC Three  Giphy  

Stories

"In my house, the solution to any emotion-related problem (bullying, divorce, feeling disappointed, the fact that they sold my puppy during my birthday party so I 'wouldn’t notice,' and any/all lesser difficulties) was: 'if we don’t ASK about it or TALK about it, the problem doesn’t exist!' If got too big to be unnoticeable, the advice was something like, 'just ignore it,' and/or 'everything will be fine.' Or, the BLANK STARE: ie. 'I do not want to hear about this…we don’t talk about THAT…quit bothering me.'" —@Architecturegirl

"I had cancer and my mother told me she couldn’t talk about it because it was her biggest fear. Bugger my fears (I survived obviously and have been in remission for 25 years). Anything serious in my life she’ll just walk away as I’m talking or give a little laugh like she’s pretending to listen but has no idea of how wrong her reaction is to what I’m saying. It’s taken me 53 years but I’ve finally given up discussing anything of importance to me with her. They’re such a damaged (and damaging) generation." —@PuzzleheadedCat9986

"Among my friends and I who are Gen X it is a perfect 50-50 split between parents having emotional intelligence and those that don't. Two anecdotes: My wife's mother will still not say 'period' or 'sex.' They were 'the thing' (raised eyebrow) and the other thing (said in a disgusted tone). That was the sum total of the support my wife got. A friend grew up with a step father his whole childhood (bio father left right after birth). Step Dad was always detached and disinterested, and always drinking. Not violent, but not interested. When we were college age, his step dad got sober and realized what he had missed. Apologized and grew. Really made the effort to the point that in his late twenties my friend agreed to be officially adopted and changed his last name. Step dad is currently the most supportive and most present grandad of our group of friends." —@Mourning_Walk

 silent treatment, emotional maturity, emotional immaturity, the silent treatment, giving silent treatment Will Forte Silent Treatment GIF by hero0fwar  Giphy  

"My mother and the silent treatment are like 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽. I don’t think that woman has ever once used her words to express displeasure or disappointment, just a lot of huffing, puffing, slamming cabinets, eye rolls and going days without speaking. Her record was once 17 whole days! It was the most peaceful 17 days of my teenage life 😂." —@ThickConfusion1318

"My mom can’t take criticism. Like at all. If I say, 'Hey, you said/did this thing that really hurt me.' Her response is usually either to blame me and point out something completely unrelated that I did as a 'See? You’re not perfect either!', make excuses 'I meant something totally different than what I said, so it’s fine.', act like I’m completely overreacting 'You’re so over dramatic! You’re always upset over everything and I have to walk on eggshells!' Or to just get angry and start berating me for daring to bring it up to begin with. So it pretty much puts me in a position where I can’t talk to her about anything at all wrong in our relationship because she’s immediately going to take it as an attack and get defensive no matter how gently I word it. She always ends up upset and nothing is solved. So the best I can do is put distance and space between us to protect myself. And she keeps wondering why I never call or visit anymore." —@barb4290

"I am pretty sure that as a generation, millennials suffered from emotional neglect from our parents. For me it was just as simple as my parents being unable to show any type of affection and would avoid/refuses certain topics of conversations. my mom was pretty dismissive and acted as it was an annoyance for her when I got my first period. She acted similarly as I hit several milestone growing up and it just never felt safe to talk to her about anything. Also, my dad would throw tantrums whenever he would not get his way, then blame my mom." —@therdre

 angry, anger, handle emotions, mad, emotional Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney Pixar  Giphy  

"Growing up, my mother was not able to compartmentalize her stress from her job as a public school teacher. Would take it out on me for not eating peas or something at dinner, and I'd end up being yelled at by dad because he'd always take her side. Didn't understand until I got older, and they're still together, but at the time I was like wtf you see this, its crazy." —@SeenNotScene

Healing Solutions

"'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents' by Lindsay Gibson is the GenX guidebook to dealing with all of our trauma spilling out at midlife. This book / concept comes up often in this subreddit. Personally it helped me a lot." —@ND_Poet

"One thing I needed to come to terms with is that I cannot control my mother’s actions or feelings. Period. It was not my responsibility to do that. It was her responsibility to manage those things. It had been hers for a very long time, since way before ny sisters and I were even a thought. Once I understood that - not only on an intellectual level but an actual felt level, it became easier to make choices for my own well being. Boundaries. As others have said." —@Stop_Already

 boundaries, setting boundaries, boundary setting, boundary, healthy boundaries Jake Johnson Fox GIF by New Girl  Giphy  

"Here's what I have determined after raising kids to young adulthood. My parents did the best they could with the hand they were dealt. They did better than their own parents." —@Reader47b

"Finally, at age 48, I stepped away from their table, that I kept trying to sit at. I was trying to rescue them. Finally realized, I can't. They make the same amount of noise whether I am safe on shore, or jump in to the deep end and drown trying to rescue. Same amount of noise. And it does zero good. Put yourself first. Then your spouse and any kiddos next. That's it. It's ok to go low or no contact. It sort of hasn't mattered in my situation. And it's ok to grieve that you didn't have the parents you needed, and if you have kids, they won't have the grandparents they needed either. But you can be your parent (reparent yourself), and be the best damn grandparent if that is where you get to be. Break the cycle. You are worth it." —@redtail_rising

"One thing that helps me is to remember that it's not her fault she's like that (her parents were abusive - I don't think her emotionally capabilities developed normally). And keep my distance if she's upset about something. I am not her therapist, she cannot make me be her therapist, and I cannot convince her to go to therapy. Her mental health is not my problem." —@WhiskerWarrior2435

 therapy, go to therapy, therapist, mental health, get therapy Parks And Recreation Thumbs Up GIF  Giphy  

"The book 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' by Paul Mason and Randi Krieger is geared toward coping with family who have BPD, but it is a good overall guide on how to set boundaries and protect yourself against toxic/dysfunctional family, regardless of underlying pathology. Highly recommend. It allowed me to finally have a relationship with my mother that didn't leave me a mess after every conversation." —@UserUnknown

"I set hard boundaries and distanced myself from them as early as possible. I accepted that I was not responsible for their feelings or the outcomes of their decisions. I stopped trying to help/correct them because they didn't want to hear it and it just created friction/tension. I just came to accept that my parents didn't want to change/learn and that was a core aspect of who they were. And, even if they did want to, they didn't want to do so as a result of interactions with me because they were accustomed to a power dynamic in which I was subordinate to them and my being an adult wasn't going to cause them to forfeit any of that power." —@DerHoggenCatten

From Your Site Articles
emotional maturity
Pop Culture

Gen Zers view periods in texts as 'aggressive.' Nope. They're not. Full stop. The end.

I'm not here for the weaponization of normal punctuation.

Photo credit: Canva, Screenshot via Annie Reneau

If you want to freak out a Gen Zer, put a period at the end of a text message.

As a Gen X mom of three Gen Z kids in their teens and 20s, there's a lot that I'm willing to concede and even celebrate when it comes to the gap between our generations. I love Gen Z's global consciousness, their openness about mental health, their focus on inclusivity, and their insistence on wearing comfortable shoes with formal wear. But there's one Gen Z feature that I simply cannot abide, and that is the weaponization of basic punctuation.

"It freaks me out when you say 'yes period' in a text," my high schooler told me one day. "It feels so aggressive, like I feel like I'm in trouble or something." I stared at him incredulously as his 20-year-old sister laughed but then agreed with him. "It does! The period makes it feel like you're mad," she said.

 texting conversation, periods in texts Misunderstandings happen when people start changing what punctuation means.Screenshot via Annie Reneau 

Ah yes, the period, the most benign punctuation mark of them all, is "aggressive." Far from being a mere generational quirk, this misinterpreting of normal punctuation in text messages as aggressive or angry could result in serious communication breakdowns. Talking by text is already hard enough, and now we're adding a layer of meaning that older folks don't have a clue about?

The kids are serious about this, though. According to Gen Zers, pretty much any time someone puts a period at the end of a text, it means they're mad or irritated, as if the period is being emphasized.

 period, punctuation, texting, text punctuation Unless you literally say, "period," a period doesn't mean anything but the end of a thought.  Giphy GIF by Sony Pictures Television 

At the risk of sounding like a dinosaur, I'd like to point out that reading into periods in texts like this is just silly. It seems silly when the young folks do it with each other, but it's extra silly when they do it with adults who didn't grow up with texting and have ingrained grammatical habits that aren't easy to shake. (And frankly, some of us don't want to shake—I'm a former English teacher, for crying out loud. Might as well ask me to start misspelling words on purpose.)

In no reasonable world can "Yes." be automatically viewed as aggressive. It's just not. Neither is "Time to get off the computer." Neither is "Got it." Or "OK." or "Sure." I understand that texting conventions have evolved such that end punctuation isn't viewed as necessary, but when did we start assigning negative intentions to very basic punctuation? A period should not be read as anything more than a matter-of-fact, neutral-toned statement, since we have other tools for conveying tone in writing—capital letters, italics, bold, exclamation points. I mean, if I wanted to be aggressive, I'd text, "HEY—it's time to GET OFF the COMPUTER!" We also have a slew of emojis to convey tone. A period is and has always been neutral. That's literally the entire point of a period.

 

I'm even willing to give Gen Z an inch on the thumbs-up emoji—they think that's aggressive, too—only because emojis are new and their meanings are up for interpretation. But a period? Not budging. That little dot has been signaling the end of people's thoughts for centuries. Periods can and do sometimes affect tone in subtle ways—"No, I didn't," hits slightly differently than "No. I didn't."—but their basic inclusion at the end of a thought in no way signals aggression or anger, by text or otherwise. Not on Gen X's watch, at least. This is one generational hill I am willing to die on.

 mic drop, making a point This Gen Xer will not be swayed.  Giphy Parks And Recreation Mic Drop GIF 

These unwritten rules of texting seem to have been concocted by Gen Z, but when? And how? Who decides these things? Is there a group of super powerful and influential young adults who put out a bat signal at some point saying that periods are symbols of aggression? If the young folks want to play the reading-into-basic-punctuation game amongst themselves, making communication much more complicated for themselves, have at it. But please don't ascribe intent to us old fogies who've had "declarative statements end in periods" ingrained in us since elementary school.

Texting wasn't always like this. When texting first became a thing, using periods in them was pretty normal. As more and more people started dropping them (and capitalization—another deep English teacher wound), I held firm to their usage, mostly out of habit and feeling like my texts were incomplete without them. As my kids got old enough to text and informed me that periods are viewed by their age group as aggressive, I reconsidered. Should I stop using them, giving in to the tyranny of Gen Z's overthinking? Should I keep using them, embracing the fact that I'm old and set in my ways?

 texting, text punctuation, aggressive punctuation, periods in texts Periods are just periods.Photo credit: Canva

Ultimately, I landed on sometimes using periods in texts and sometimes not—a compromise between my own rigid grammar rules and Gen Z's seemingly senseless texting rules. Except only using periods sometimes just confuses my kids even more, which is hilarious. Is Mom mad? Is she not? My daughter said she just has to remind herself who is texting, knowing that I—and most of my generation—simply don't use periods aggressively.

Seriously, it's not happening. Not now. Not ever. Period.

This article originally appeared in February.

From Your Site Articles
communication
Humor

5 generations competed to see who’s the funniest. Gen X won and some Boomers have complaints.

"Every generation thinks they are the funniest. They're all wrong."

Canva

A comedian sits on a stool and tells jokes.

Before anyone gets offended, of course there are hilarious people of every age in every generation. That's just a fact. But a lot of people are biased in believing that their generation—from Alpha to Boomers—are definitively the funniest. The popular longtime web series Good Mythical Morning decided to put it to the test by bringing a comedian from every generation to participate in a game show. A "joke-off," if you will.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Hosts Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal welcome their guests, calling it the "laugh clash zone," and they immediately get to business. First we meet Adley Jones, representing Generation Alpha (born between 2010–2024). Next up is Teig, who announces he's Gen Z (b. 1997–2010). Then we have Jared Kassebaum in for the millennials (born 1981–1996). Next down the line is Amanda Cohen, who is Gen X (1965–1980). And last, but far from least, is Michael J. Carmichael, the baby boomer (1946–1964).

The way the game works is all of the comedians are given a topic of which they must write and tell a joke. It's a little more complicated, but for the purposes of "which gen wins joke contest"—we'll leave it at that. There's a small judging panel and a tiny studio audience, who mostly (frankly) seem bored, despite all of the comedians being adorably eager and funny. The topics the hosts can choose from are: AI, Trader Joe's, Disney adults, PDA, Cybertrucks, and "a wildcard joke."

 comedy, laughing, audience, funny, gen People in an audience laugh.   Giphy GEICO 

Rhett is asked to choose the first topic, because of course, "he's taller." He chooses Trader Joe's. The comics deliver their best "What's the deal with Trader Joe's?" material, and while they all offer some interesting points of view, it's decided that the audience and judges responded most favorably to the millennial. (He tells a fun joke about Trader Joe's requiring their employees to have dainty tattoos.)

But there's much more to come. Three more rounds, and the comedians start loosening up. Gen Alpha takes the AI round with her "incel" joke, while Gen X strongly wins in the Cybertruck category by spelling out the word d-bag. Lastly, the hosts choose "wildcard" for the final round, wherein the comedians can choose whatever material they want. Everyone brings their A-game, but "based on the loudest laughs in the room," Gen X takes it again. (Personally, I was partial to the Gen Z-er, but to each their own!)

@dailymail

Which GENERATION has the best humor?! #generationz #genalpha #millennial #newyork #nyc #interview #timessquarenyc

The comment section perfectly exemplifies how it's fun to support ALL generations in the name of comedy. One person notes of the Gen X-er, "Amanda was the best come-from-behind I've ever seen. I liked Teig and Jared a lot more at first but she ended up slaying me in the later rounds."

Another commenter points out how tough the crowd was, especially the young girl in the front. "It took Pokémon twerking to get that lil girl in the crowd to laugh."

Some admit that what they found the most humorous doesn't fit with their gen. "I'm 22 years old and realize I have boomer humor." Another confesses, "The incel joke was so unexpected I spit coffee onto my work monitor. That little girl wins the whole episode!" (Let's hope their work monitor didn't explode.)

In over one thousand comments, every single comic got lots of love and support, but Boomer Michael J. might just have gotten the most. "Michael J was robbed!! So underrated, he deserves more love than this!!"

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Of course, this is only one small group of comedians on one small day. For a larger sample size with more famous comedians, Netflix Is a Joke compiled their own "who said it better" montage. Safe to say they all brought their respective houses down. Bo Burnham, Mark Normand, Ronny Chieng, Christina P, Patton Oswalt, Nate Bargatze, Jordan Rock, Mae Martin, Iliza Shlesinger, Michelle Wolf, Tim Dillon, and Jo Koy all give their insight on generational humor—and it's top-notch.


From Your Site Articles
comedy
Trending Stories