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15 'habits' of people who grew up with an 'emotionally fragile' parent

Having an emotionally fragile parent can leave lasting damage.

15 'habits' of people who grew up with an 'emotionally fragile' parent
via The Mighty

If you grew up with an "emotionally fragile" parent, chances are, you didn't have the typical, idyllic childhood you often see in movies.

Maybe your parent lived with debilitating depression that thrust you into the role of caregiver from a very young age.

Maybe your parent was always teetering on the edge of absolute rage, so you learned to tiptoe around them to avoid an explosion. Or maybe your parent went through a divorce or separation, and leaned on you for more emotional support than was appropriate to expect of a child.

Growing up with an emotionally fragile parent can leave lasting damage on a person as they leave childhood and enter adulthood.

Though it's true many kids who grow up with emotionally compromised or neglectful parents struggle with their mental health in adulthood, it's important to remember parents seldom set out to abuse their kids.

Oftentimes they simply do not have the support or resources to care for their own mental health. If you are a parent struggling with your mental health, we want you to know there is no shame in struggling, but it's important to seek the support you need.

Our partners at The Mighty wanted to know what "habits" people who grew up with emotionally fragile parents have now as adults, so they asked their community to community to share their experiences with us.

Here's are the "habits" our community shared with us:

1. Constantly Apologizing"

"Constantly apologizing is just one of many things I do as a result of an 'emotionally fragile' parent. Another is panic and, again, apologize if someone looks at their watch or checks the time when I am doing something, particularly if shopping. It is why I prefer to be alone and do things at my own pace, the anxiety and fear such an innocent thing like checking the time because of me is horrible." — Jodie B.

"Constantly apologizing for normal things like having an opinion and crying, bending over backwards to please everyone and keep the peace, not standing up for myself because when I did at home I'd get blown up at, etc." — Natalie J.

2. Overthinking

"I overthink everything all of the time because I'm trying to prepare myself for the next thing you will be disappointed in." — Faith L.

3. Always Feeling Afraid of Upsetting Others

"Not talking or doing anything for fear of getting into trouble or making people upset. Feeling like you can't move or speak without permission, even amongst your closet friends." — Rye B.

4. Having "Control Issues"

"I have huge control issues because I felt responsible for everyone's feelings. My father had a hairpin trigger temper and my mother was a perpetual victim, so I tried to micromanage every little thing to keep him from exploding, and protect her. Now I have debilitating anxiety and it becomes worse if I feel like something is out of my control. Because if I can't control everything, then something might upset someone, and it'll be my fault and not only will I be in trouble, but no one will love me. It's exhausting." — Murphy M.

5. Being a "Parent" for Others

"Be the mom for all my group friends. The mature person who will be there to give you the advice someone else can't." — Gladys M.

"Automatically parent everybody because I had to do it my whole life, but then I break down when it comes to trying to take care of myself." — Chloe L.

6. Struggling to Make Decisions

"I have a hard time making choices, or having an opinion. When you spent your whole childhood, teens and part of your 20s without the ability to choose things for yourself, you either feel guilty, or really uncomfortable having an opinion. Because you feel like you're going to get in trouble, or you're going to have a panic attack." — Kaylee L.

7. Ignoring Your Own Feelings

"I feel like I always have to fix everyone, take care of everyone, control everything. I feel like I have to ignore my feelings, and I have a hard time reaching out to people." — Kayla O.

"[I] try so hard to hide my feelings rather than rock the boat." — Jodi A.

8. Being a "People-Pleaser"

"I find it impossible to talk about how I feel. I constantly try make others happy, even if it means hurting myself. But I grew up with a dad who was both physically and emotionally abusive." — Jamie J.

"Being a people-pleaser. I do a lot of 'fawning' now because I always had to watch what I said in case it triggered either severe depression or anger." — Sela M.

9. Feeling Like You're a Supporting Role in Your Own Life

"I always feel like I'm just playing a small supporting role in the great drama of other people's lives instead of my life being a story of my own. I have a really hard time believing my feelings are valid and matter." — Susanna L.

10. Constantly Fearing Abandonment

"Constantly fearing abandonment… And no matter how much reassurance I get, I keep waiting for the moment where that love disappears." — Monika S.

11. Overanalyzing the Behavior of Others

"I overanalyze how people talk and their body language. When you're used to looking for small clues to try to make life easier or prepare for a meltdown, it's… a hard habit to break." — Lexi R.

12. Pushing People Away

"I push people away when I hit my depression low since that's what my mom did. I'm trying to learn how to let people in but it's hard to do at times and I never know how to tell people." — Jennifer B.

13. Getting Offended Easily

"My daughter would say I cry too much and get offended too easily, and she isn't wrong." — Kat E.

14. Cleaning Up After Others

"Cleaning other people's homes while you're there because you grew up cleaning up after everyone because your parents didn't clean." — Des S.

15. Being Very Empathetic

"Yes there has been some negative impact but I also recognize that I learned how to be empathetic at a really young age. I remember my mom crying — I was only about 3 years old — and I went and got her the stuffed bear she had in her room." — Lauren A.

If you grew up having to take care of an emotionally fragile parent, you're not alone. Whether you're struggling to assert boundaries in your life, have trouble communicating your needs or don't know how to take care of yourself, we want you to know there's a community of people who want to support you in your recovery journey.


The article was originally published by our partners at the Mighty and was written by Juliette Virzi. It first appeared here on 8.19.19

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Man finds genius loophole to beat squatters at their own game. Homeowners say he's a hero.

"All I'm doing is becoming a squatter and flipping this process on them."

Canva Photos

Flash Shelton has been nicknamed the "Squatter Hunter" and helps people take their homes back.

Squatters' rights laws are some of the most bizarrely misused legal realities we have, and something no one seems to have a good answer for. Most of us have heard stories of someone moving into a vacant home and just living there, without anyone's permission and without paying rent, and somehow this is a legal question mark until the courts sort it out.

According to The National Desk, squatters' rights are a carryover from British property law and were created to ensure that abandoned property could be used and to protect occupants from being kicked out without proper notice. The argument is that it's better to have someone openly living in a home and taking care of it, properly maintaining it, versus it laying abandoned and rotting away. Families and residents add value to a community, and those residents should have rights — or so the reasoning goes.

It should go without saying that squatter law isn't meant to allow someone to just take over someone else's property, but sometimes that's exactly what happens.

A squatter takeover is exactly what happened to Flash Shelton's mother when she put her house up for rent after her husband passed away.


A woman contacted her with interest in the property, only she wanted to do repairs and look after the home instead of paying rent. Before anyone knew it, she had furniture delivered (which she later said was accidental) and set up camp, despite Shelton's mom not agreeing to the arrangement.

But since the woman had expressed her intention and already moved in, the matter was out of police hands, as Shelton found out when he tried to contact the local sheriff. If that sounds like trespassing to you, well, join the club.

“They said, ‘I’m sorry but we can’t enter the house, and it looks like they’re living there, so you need to go through the courts',” he shared in a YouTube video.


Shelton rightfully didn't want the expense of a court battle, so he took matters into his own hands—not with violence, but with logic. He had his mom lease the home to him, and then told the squatter that she had to move everything out because he was moving things in.


squatters, homeowners, criminals, trespassing, law, property law, viral videos, youtube, squatter hunter How exactly is squatting not trespassing? It's complicated, for some reason. Giphy

“If they can take a house, I can take a house," he said.

He was calm and clear about her having to get everything out within the day or he would have people come and take it, and thankfully, she didn't put up a big fight.

That experience made him realize how squatter law can be abused, but that there's a faster system for removing a squatter than to go through the court system. If a squatter can move in and force a homeowner to take them to court to prove they are living there illegally, then he could simply move in alongside the squatter, putting the squatter in the position of having to take the homeowner to court instead.

"The legal process is so slow, and at some point when they're in there, you're going to feel like they have more rights than you do and that's how you're going to be treated. So even though you it's your house and you're paying the mortgage or whatever, at some point squatters feel like they have more rights than you, so they don't have an incentive to leave until a judge tells them to, until they're actually ordered to, and that could take months."

After successfully removing the squatters in his mother's house, Shelton has been tackling similar squatter situations for other homeowners in California, earning him the nickname "The Squatter Hunter."

"All I'm doing is becoming a squatter and flipping this process on them," Shelton told CBS News. "I figured if they could take a house, I could take a house."

According to CBS, he's successfully removed a dozen squatters in the past year. ""I'm not going in and I'm not hurting anyone," he said. "I'm not kicking them out, I'm not throwing them out." He's literally just moving in himself, setting up cameras, and then creating small annoyances until the squatters get fed up enough to move out; like making uncomfortable alterations to the home or making a ton of noise at inopportune hours.

Shelton parlayed his success into a reality show on A&E called, fittingly, Squatters. It premiered in July of 2025. To put it lightly, it looks intense! Clips posted on Shelton's social media show hostile standoffs with angry squatters and even he and his team causing damage to the home or creating nuisances to help drive the squatters out.

California isn't the only state that has seen issues with squatters. There are squatter stories from all over the U.S. of people moving into a property and refusing to leave without a court order, tying owners up in lengthy, expensive legal battles.

Though squatting is relatively rare overall, some areas of the country have more issues than others. California, Texas, Georgia, and Florida are areas, in particular, that struggle with squatters and abandoned properties.

Shelton even has a Change.org petition to try to get squatter laws changed to "make squatting in residential maintained homes criminal." Making squatting illegal "will shift the burden of proof onto the squatter and make the crime punishable with restitution an option for damages," the the petition states.

Not all homeowners will have access to someone like Shelton and his team to fight back against squatters. But until the laws change, he's doing as much as he can.

Watch Shelton share his personal story:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


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Pop Culture

Writer Aubrey Hirsch asked what's a 'universal thing men like' and got hilarious answers

Apparently throwing rocks off a cliff ranked high on the list.

Photo credit: Canva

She concluded that "I don’t actually know any men in real life."

Writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch jokingly asked her followers on Twitter what’s a “universal thing that most men like?” because she was writing a comic and “just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life." The tweet inspired an avalanche of funny responses.

Hirsch is the author of “Why We Never Talk About Sugar,” a collection of short stories, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Child, American Short Fiction and Time.

The interesting thing about the responses is that they weren’t the typical stereotypes about men. She didn’t get a ton of people talking about sex, sports or toxic masculinity. Instead, there were a lot of folks that mentioned very specific male behaviors as if they were talking about a bizarre species they discovered in the wild.

There were, undeniably, two things that got the most comments on her post. First, men enjoy watching construction sites. Evidently, the phenomenon is so popular in Italy that there is a specific word for this type of person in Italian.

When asked why men enjoy watching construction sites so much, a poster on Reddit had the perfect response. "I just find it really satisfying and interesting to see the process behind things being built," he wrote.

The other beloved male activity is throwing heavy objects into bodies of water. Preferably, as large a rock as possible, and as deep a body of water as possible, and getting to throw from the highest vantage point possible.



Gotta, say, as a man—I have seen dudes do this and I have done it plenty of times myself.

Here are a few more fun ones:


(When we do this 99% of the time we’re pretending that the sign is 10 feet high and that we have the ability to dunk a basketball. There are two types of men, those that can dunk and mere mortals.)

This one is near and dear to my heart. I can’t tell you the number of hours I have spent with my friends just throwing lines from “The Big Lebowski” back and forth.

“Nice marmot.”

“The Dude abides.”

“Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it’s an ethos.”

A movie that's running up the ranks of being among the most quotable is another dude buddy pic, "Once Upon a Time ... In Hollywood."

"All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?" ... "Rick, it's a flamethrower.”

Lastly, we'll never pass up the opportunity to say hello to a complete stranger wearing our exact same hat, or re-live some sports-related glory days.


Okay, everyone is an individual human. but there is certainly a lot to laugh at, and connect to, with this list.

This story originally appeared two years ago.

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Mom shows 9-year-old how to leave uncomfortable conversations and it's advice everyone should hear

You don't need to let someone make you uncomfortable.

via Canva/Photos

A young girl with her hand over her mouth.

Few things are more uncomfortable than sitting like a deer in the headlights while someone pushes you into an incredibly awkward conversation. Whether it’s a TMI (too much information) conversation or they want to talk about politics or religion, it’s hard to tell someone that a subject is off-limits.

However, in a viral Instagram post, Charisse Sims makes an essential point about these awkward situations: it will be uncomfortable whether you tell them to change the subject or if you have to sit through the conversation. So, it’s better to take the option that’s less hurtful to you. Sims is a mother of six and the host of the Parenting for the Culture podcast. She is also an awarded Educator by PBS and PBS Kids and founder of The Sims Library of Poetry.

How do you leave uncomfortable conversations?

She shared the advice while talking to her nine-year-old daughter, who she could tell felt very awkward about a recent conversation. “Immediately, when she started having that conversation, I could see on your face that you felt uncomfortable,” Sims told her daughter in an Instagram Reel. “When you have that feeling, your response to them should be, ‘I feel uncomfortable in this conversation. Let's talk about something else.”

Sims then asked her daughter to repeat the phrase a few times to burn it into her brain for when she needed it. Her daughter then admitted that telling someone to change the conversation would be difficult. Most people probably agree that telling people you’d like to change the subject is uncomfortable.

However, Sims makes a great point: you will be uncomfortable both ways, so choose the one that best suits you.

“Which one is a longer discomfort, taking 10 seconds to say, ‘I feel uncomfortable in this conversation. Can we talk about something else?” Sims asked. “Or, sitting in a 20- to 30-minute conversation that you feel uncomfortable in?”

stop, woman, woman says stop, talk to hand, hand out, stop hand, conversation, awkward A woman holding her hand out saying "stop." via Canva/Photos

“It is uncomfortable telling people stop. It is uncomfortable being like, ‘I don't really like what you're doing,’ because you're worried you're going to hurt their feelings, and you want them to like you,” Sims continued. “But it's also uncomfortable to sit there and be uncomfortable for a long time. So choose your discomfort, and choose the one that's going to help you, not hurt you.”

Candace Smith, an etiquette expert, says it’s also helpful if you have another topic on deck that the person may be interested in to make the transition smoother for both parties. “When you think it’s time to let the other person know you will change the subject, be positive, and smile. Keep your eye contact warm and direct,” she says, before giving an example: “I’m going to change our subject here. Let’s talk about something cool like the Marvel movie!”

shhh, shush, finger over mouth, girl saying quiet, end of conversation, finger over mouth A young girl making a "quiet" motion. via Canva/Photos

Sims' advice is important because it’s something that all of us, adults included, could use next time they are forced into an uncomfortable situation. Her advice is a great tool for making sound decisions when we feel awkward and unable to think on our feet. “I wish when I was growing up, I was taught more how to navigate tricky situations rather than just being told to stay out of them,” Sims wrote in her post. “As simple as that is, It’s not always that easy. Our children need more support and actual practice navigating these awkward situations.”

This article originally appeared in April.

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Teen parenting expert shares the one phrase to use when your teen brings up a risky topic

Be prepared for the next time your teen brings up sex, drugs or social media drama.

via Dr. Lisa Damour and Canva/Photos

Dr. Lisa Damour and a mother and her teen going through a crisis.

If you are the parent of a teenager, there are a lot of topics they may bring up that are scary to think about, whether it's drugs, sex, social media drama, or whether they can get a nose ring. Every day, something is bound to come up for which you may not be prepared.

That’s why it’s good to have a response in your back pocket; when they bring up a challenging topic out of nowhere, you can respond in a healthy way instead of overreacting. In June 2025 at a panel discussion on Anxious Boys, Lonely Girls at the Aspen Ideas: Health festival, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour said the best response to an uncomfortable topic is: “Tell me what you think about that.”

Dr. Damour is a psychologist specializing in teens, the author of three New York Times bestsellers, and host of Ask Lisa, a free podcast where she answers parenting questions every week.

teens, social media, teen on phone, parents, upset mom, teen at table, A teenager looking at her smartphone.via Canva/Photos

Tell me what you think about that

Dr. Damour further explained her ideas to Upworthy, noting there are two significant benefits for parents who have this response readily available. “The first value of having a phrase like, ‘Tell me what you think about that,’ is that it lets you collect yourself and let's you buy some time before you have a reaction that you regret,” Dr. Damour told Upworthy. “The second is that it will dictate the conversation you need to have.”

Dr. Damour says that by encouraging your teen to share their feelings on uncomfortable topics, such as their friends taking weed gummies, it dictates the direction you should take. This is in contrast to immediately jumping to conclusions and shutting down the conversation by giving them a lecture on the dangers of drugs before you've heard their opinion.

“So if a teenager then goes on to say, ‘I think it's really weird and I'm worried about the kids who are trying it.’ You're having one conversation. But if they are interested in trying the gummies, it’s another conversation," Dr. Damour noted.

teens, mom and teen son, parenting, modern families, son and mom on couch, talking to teens A mom talks with her teenage son.via Canva/Photos

How to respond when your teen is interested in risky behaviors

Dr. Damour believes that when setting rules for your teen, it is best to avoid basing them on personal morality or opinions, such as “In this house we don’t do drugs” or “I think it’s wrong to go on a date at 14.” These reasons often seem arbitrary to most kids, and they may follow their own desires. Instead, focus on two key issues: safety and the decent treatment of others. So, if they are considering taking weed gummies, let them know that it isn’t safe. Dr. Damour suggests this response: “You have one brain for the rest of your life. All of the science we have says that weed and adolescent brains don't mix. I love you, I care about you. I want you to make choices that are going to keep you safe.”

Parenting teens is an emotional rollercoaster, which is why Damour’s advice is so helpful. It allows parents to have a little extra time to remove some emotion from their reaction, and it enables them and their teens to use their best judgment in an uncomfortable situation. Further, it may be that when a teen floats an awkward topic, there’s a lot more going on than what meets the eye. “It is my sense that when kids are floating touchy topics by their parents, they are watching very carefully to see the reaction because one of the questions they may be asking themselves is, 'What would happen if I told you I was having a problem with this?'” Damour says.

Learn more important advice for parenting teens by subscribing to the free Ask Lisa podcast.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Man's spot-on 'impersonations' of 13 major airports have people begging for more

They're funny because they're so true.

Photo credit: Canva

If airports could talk…

Anyone who's ever traveled through a large international airport knows that it can be a daunting, confusing, and unpleasantly adventurous experience. Some airports are massive, sprawling mazes of ever-changing gates that are hard to navigate, and, if you travel a lot, you learn that each airport has its unique quirks and pain points that make you dread having a layover or landing at them.

A creator named Chris Olsen has frequent and infrequent travelers alike rolling over his take on airport woes as he shares what he imagines 13 different major airports would say if they could talk. Let's just say he nails each and every one.

@notolsennchris

I do love LHR and LAX tho

First, London's Heathrow (LHR) airport is notoriously large. My family landed there once and it took us nearly an hour of walking just to get from our gate to the car pickup area. But taking off from there is wild as well, as they frequently don't inform you of what gate you're leaving from until the last minute.

"You want to know what gate you're flying from?" Olsen says as LHR. "Haha, I'm not telling you. I'll tell you in an hour. But by then it'll be too late. By the way, it's on the other side of the airport, you better start running now."

Those who have flown into Los Angeles' LAX airport and needed a ride will feel this one:

"Oh, you wanna leave? You wanna call a lil' Uber? Well, you better start moving now because you know you're gonna have to get on a bus that will take you to a train, that will take you under a bridge where a troll will stop the train, make everyone solve three riddles, before you have to swim across a river before even thinking about calling that Uber. And then it's gonna take you two hours to get home."

uber, air travel, LAX, los angeles, transportation Good luck Ubering from LAX. Giphy

(Pro tip: Fly in to Burbank if you're flying to the L.A. area. A much less overwhelming experience.)

Next up, New York City's John F. Kennedy (JFK) airport:

"Why are you here? You know I'm under construction, babe. I know I said it was gonna be done soon. By 'soon' I meant 20 more years. Goooo, get out of here—no not that way, that road is closed. It's been closed for construction. The new one is too, oh my god."

La Guardia (LGA), on the other hand, just shows off its remodel while still managing to have lots of flights not actually happen:

"I look good, right? Yeah? You like my new look? Your flight's canceled, by the way."

airports, air travel, canceled flights, flying, travel Sorry, flight's canceled. Giphy

In his first video, Olsen also tackled Washington D.C.'s Dulles Airport (with its overcrowded everything) and Paris' Charles De Gaulle (CDG) Airport (with its indifference to helping people who are lost), and people backed up his takes in the comments.

"Heathrow wants us all to join a marathon."

"The uber experience at LAX is traumatizing."

"CDG is so real. I HATE that airport with the passion of a thousand fiery suns 🤣🤣."

"Dulles was way too accurate hahahaha."

In his follow-up video, Olsen "impersonates" Newark's EWR, London City (LCY), Denver (DEN), Atlanta (ATL), Chicago's O'Hare (ORD), Sydney (SYD), Washington's Reagan (DCA) and Dallas/Fort Worth (DFW) airports. And according to the comments, he nails pretty much all of them. (The one exception might be Atlanta, which many people said was accurate but needed more YELLING.)

@notolsennchris

Which ones next


"Overheard at EWR 'there is no hope for you' to a little old lady hustling to make it to the new gate 😭"

"DFW is the realest thing I’ve seen."

"Dallas is the most accurate one ever."

"ORD is my home airport so I fully never realized that other places generally don’t make you wait on the plane for like an hour after landing but damn that’s true isn’t it lol."

"Chicago is soo accurate... why are we always sitting on the tarmac for an extended amount of time."

airport, airplane, air travel, tarmac, o'hare You're never getting off the tarmac once you land at O'Hare. Giphy

"DCA is wayyyy to accurate 😅😩"

"I’ve only been to Reagan once on a layover and trust i was stuck there for hours because every flight was cancelled!"

"As a flight attendant… yes."

"I'm a flight attendant so i’ve been to all these airports and this is so insanely accurate. 😭"

Of course, there are many, many more airports to impersonate and people are making specific requests. From what I gather, Charlotte (CLT), Orlando (MCO), and Frankfurt (FRA) appear to be high on people's lists.

Olsen has more air travel humor where these came from. Check out his hilariously accurate "If airlines could talk" bit:

@notolsennchris

Spirit might not be gorg but it’ll get u there

You can follow Chris Olsen on TikTok for more.

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