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middle school

Education

Teacher reminds people how 'brutal' middle school was by sharing things her 8th graders say

“Are you in therapy? You seem like the type."

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A teacher reveals the funny things her students say.

Molly Dugan, 26, a teacher from the Kansas City area, has gone viral on TikTok with a video where she reveals the wilder things her 8th-grade students have said. They range from personal insults to strange observations that you’ll only get from kids stuck in the awkward phase between elementary and high school.

Since being posted on May 16, the video has been viewed over 15 million times.

What’s interesting about the video is that she delivers all of her students’ quotes in a stoic deadpan and they all come from memory. It’s a perfect performance for the teacher’s first-ever TikTok post. “Things that my 8th graders have said to me,” opens the video, looking straight into the camera.

Here are a few of the things her students said:

@miss.dugan1

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.” - John Mulaney @John Mulaney official

“Are you in therapy? You seem like the type.”

“You look like my grandpa’s couch.”

“Your pants look like trash bags sewn together. Ha ha. Trash bag pants.”

“I don’t get why you write so much on my rough draft. I’m not reading all that, bruh. For real for real.”

“Fat a** alert.”

"Miss Dugan, the toilet paper in this school sucks. I just got dookie on my hand."

"How does it feel to be the only unmarried teacher in this school?"

“Yuh, I felt that one in my nuggets.”

The teacher captioned the post with a quote from comedian John Mulaney. “8th-graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way,” Mulaney said in his 2015 Netflix special, “The Comeback Kid.” The quote struck a chord with Dugan who teaches 7th and 8th-grade English-language arts and will begin working with high school students next year.

“I never related to something more,” she told The Kansas City Star. “Sometimes they say it and they don’t know that they’re insulting you, but they kinda do. That’s the beauty of middle school, they’re such a blend of elementary and high school. They know they’re saying something mean but they didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

“I fully believe that my students are really great at heart. The purpose was not to roast my students or put them on blast, rather than just to give people a little comedic relief,” she continued.

The video is a funny example of what life is like as a teacher, but it’s also proof that you need tough skin to step into the classroom. "I’m a pretty self-aware person, so some comments roll off my shoulders easily, and I can laugh off," she told Upworthy. "I like to try to show my students that others' comments don’t determine our self-worth or confidence in ourselves. Other days, I have to mentally remind myself that I don’t care about a 13-year-old's opinion of me."

The comments can also be a learning opportunity.

"On the really bad days, or with the most cutting remarks, a conversation is sometimes had about having respect for others. It depends on my relationship with the student and each situation," Dugan told Upworthy. For the teacher, the key is to stay balanced on the emotional middle school rollercoaster.

"Middle school is its own beast because truly, every single day, something is said to me that makes me want to cry and then 2 minutes later, something is said that makes me belly laugh. All. Day. Long," she said.

The video was a big hit on TikTok because it reminded millions of people what life in middle school is really like. "It takes us back to that age and how brutal we were," she told Upworthy. "Middle school was such a universally cruel and awkward experience. It’s like the great unifier of the human experience. I think it’s fun for people to go back and remember their awkward years."

Ultimately, Dugan’s honest rapport with her students is great for everyone involved. "When I'm the first to show my human side, my students start to feel more safe to be themselves, too," Dugan told Newsweek. "My kids might poke fun at me and have some brutal one-liners, but they are all incredible humans whom I am proud to have taught."

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Read a mom's heartfelt thank-you to the football player who ate lunch with her son.

'I'm not sure what exactly made this incredibly kind man share a lunch table with my son, but I'm happy to say that it will not soon be forgotten.'

Bo Paske, a sixth-grader at Montford Middle School in Tallahassee, Florida, knows what a social minefield a school cafeteria can be.

Eating lunch at school can be the most challenging part of a kid's day, especially if they're not like other kids. Aside from entering one of the most difficult life transitions (puberty), Bo is on the autism spectrum and sometimes makes erratic movements or suddenly says strange things.

Kids eating lunch. Image via iStock.

In a Facebook post by "Love What Matters," Bo's mom Leah explains that he is often teased by his classmates and tends to eat lunch by himself. She knows this because it's one of the questions she always asks him when he comes home from school.

Most days, she writes, the answer is "nobody."

Earlier this week, however, Bo had a very special lunch buddy — someone Leah never could've seen coming.

When Florida State University football players visited Montford, FSU wide receiver Travis Rudolph made a point of sitting with Bo when no one else was.

Leah was not even aware who Rudolph was, but when a friend shared the picture with her, she was overcome with joy and had to find a way to express her gratitude.

She wrote an incredibly heartfelt post on Facebook to explain how meaningful this small gesture was, and she shared it, along with the photo of Bo and Rudolph eating lunch together:

"Several times lately I have tried to remember my time in middle school, did I like all my teachers, do I even remember...

Posted by Love What Matters on Tuesday, August 30, 2016

In the post, she wrote about her anxiety for Bo's happiness in middle school:

"Now that I have a child starting middle school, I have feelings of anxiety for him, and they can be overwhelming if I let them. Sometimes I'm grateful for his autism. That may sound like a terrible thing to say, but in some ways I think, I hope, it shields him. He doesn't seem to notice when people stare at him when he flaps his hands. He doesn't seem to notice that he doesn't get invited to birthday parties anymore. And he doesn't seem to mind if he eats lunch alone. It's one of my daily questions for him. Was there a time today you felt sad? Who did you eat lunch with today? Sometimes the answer is a classmate, but most days it's nobody. Those are the days I feel sad for him, but he doesn't seem to mind."

And she addresses Rudolph directly with a message of gratitude:

"I'm not sure what exactly made this incredibly kind man share a lunch table with my son, but I'm happy to say that it will not soon be forgotten. This is one day I didn't have to worry if my sweet boy ate lunch alone, because he sat across from someone who is a hero in many eyes. Travis Rudolph thank you so much, you made this momma exceedingly happy, and have made us fans for life!"

As for Rudolph's decision to sit with Bo?

"I saw him sitting there by himself and I got a plate of pizza and I asked him, can I sit with him, and he said, 'Sure, why not.'" Rudolph told People of his gesture.

As a parent, it's easy to feel powerless when your kid has trouble making friends in school. Kids can be fickle and kids can be cruel, but when one person goes out of their way to show kindness to someone who might not see much of it otherwise, it sets an example that everyone else can follow.

Does it mean that tomorrow Bo's lunch table will be filled with his classmates? Maybe. Maybe not. But if even one other kid in his class follows Rudolph's lead, that's a win.

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What a tube of toothpaste can teach us about the power of words.

Someone called me "four eyes" for the first time in middle school.

It didn't bother me enough to stop wearing my glasses, which I'd proudly worn since third grade — but those first bullying words stuck with me.

Yep, that's me and my beloved "four eyes" days! Image from the author, used with permission.

Middle school is a time when words start to matter a little bit more.

As teens try to shape their identities, insults can sting for a little longer. Peers' opinions seem to matter more. Teens want to be cool and unique, but they also want to fit in and belong.

That's why Amy Beth Gardner, a loving mom from Cleveland, Tennessee, squeezed out a tube of toothpaste for her daughter.

Huh? Let me explain.

Last week, Amy shared a story on Facebook about an interaction she had with her 11-year-old daughter, Breonna. First, Amy gave Breonna a tube of toothpaste and squirted it all out onto a plate. Then she asked her to put it back into the tube.

Breonna was understandably confused and frustrated. But the toothpaste was her mother's brilliant and beautiful metaphor for explaining that words matter. Once your words are out of your mouth, you can't just put them back in your mouth ... just like the toothpaste.

"My toothpaste was a mess and I went to clean it and started thinking about how, just like words once you have said them, you can't put toothpaste back in a tube," Amy said.

Here's Amy's original post:

My daughter starts middle school tomorrow. We've decorated her locker, bought new uniforms, even surprised her with a...

Posted by Amy Beth Gardner on Sunday, August 14, 2016

Here's the full text:

"My daughter starts middle school tomorrow. We've decorated her locker, bought new uniforms, even surprised her with a new backpack. But tonight just before bed, we did another pre-middle school task that is far more important than the others. I gave her a tube of toothpaste and asked her to squirt it out onto a plate. When she finished, I calmly asked her to put all the toothpaste back in the tube. She began exclaiming things like 'But I can't!' and 'It won't be like it was before!' I quietly waited for her to finish and then said the following:

'You will remember this plate of toothpaste for the rest of your life. Your words have the power of life or death. As you go into middle school, you are about to see just how much weight your words carry. You are going to have the opportunity to use your words to hurt, demean, slander and wound others. You are also going to have the opportunity to use your words to heal, encourage, inspire and love others. You will occasionally make the wrong choice; I can think of three times this week I have used my own words carelessly and caused harm. Just like this toothpaste, once the words leave your mouth, you can't take them back. Use your words carefully, Breonna. When others are misusing their words, guard your words. Make the choice every morning that life-giving words will come out of your mouth. Decide tonight that you are going to be a life-giver in middle school. Be known for your gentleness and compassion. Use your life to give life to a world that so desperately needs it. You will never, ever regret choosing kindness.'"

We all have a choice about whether to say something hurtful or hold it in — and that's what's important.

As Amy acknowledges in the post, everyone — including herself — can make the wrong choice sometimes and say something hurtful. We can either choose to use our words for good and make people feel better about themselves, or the other way around.

What Amy did is not only admirable, but also necessary.

Bullying is a major problem in schools, and it's important to teach kids and teens that their words have power.

Can you imagine if more parents used this clever metaphor to teach their kids about the weight of their words? That's a lot of wasted toothpaste, but a whole lot of spared feelings and goodness in the world too.

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A boy with autism sang at a school talent show. It didn't go as planned. It went better.

Last Saturday night, 13-year-old Jagger Lavely took the stage at a middle school talent show to sing "Let It Go" from the movie "Frozen."

Jagger, who has autism, doesn't attend Oak Middle School in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts. But since his school for kids with autism is out of town, he was allowed to participate in their annual "Oak's Got Talent" event.

He put on his Olaf costume (excellent choice, Jagger) and took to the stage.

Image via ABCNews/YouTube.

"And the fears that once controlled me / Can't get to me at all!"

The lights went up and Jagger began to sing. He got through the first verse OK, but then ... well.

"Things kind of fell apart a little bit," his mother, Stacey Lavely, told WCVB-5.

GIF via ABCNews/YouTube.

Appearing visibly nervous, Jagger grew quiet at the start of the second verse. But what could've quickly turned into a mortifying moment became a heartwarming show of support.

"It's time to see what I can do / To test the limits and break through"

Seeing their peer stumble, the students at Oaks Middle School sang with Jagger, loud and proud. They even clapped along.

"It just kind of became this spiritual experience," Jagger's mom said.

Me too, Kristoff. Me too. GIF from "Frozen."

"Let it go, let it go / And I'll rise like the break of dawn"

With encouragement from the audience, Jagger was able to finish his performance and received raucous applause.

It probably looked a little something like this. GIF from "Frozen."

The students didn't know Jagger well, but that didn't matter. He was someone in need of a hand, (or in this case, a few back-up singers), and they were quick to help out.

"Here I stand / And here I'll stay"

Jagger is just one of the more than 1 million children in the U.S. with autism. About 1 in 68 kids have an autism spectrum disorder. It cuts across racial, geographic, and socioeconomic lines and can manifest in a variety of ways.

But behind every number, statistic, or new case is a child and a family working through the implications of their particular diagnosis. For many of these families, the future contains a lot of unknowns.

A teacher works with a child with autism. Photo by Franck Fife/AFP/Getty Images.

But moments like this can remind them (and all of us) that you don't have to look far to find kind and empathetic people. They're everywhere you look, even in middle school auditoriums.

So sing out, Jagger! Wherever you are, someone will always have your back.

See Jagger's star-powered performance in this clip from ABC News.

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