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Teacher 'ready to quit' after being forced to deal with 'every feeling' her students have

“Maybe I'm getting too old for this modern bubble wrapping of kids emotions."

A teacher can't handle another minute of dealing with her classroom.

In post-pandemic America, a majority of teachers believe that education is heading in the wrong direction. Among their greatest concerns are children's dependence on smartphones, a growing sense of entitlement among students and parents, low pay, and growing mental health behavioral problems among students.

These problems have made many teachers consider new professions. A 2023 poll of 1,200 teachers found that 40% of public school teachers have either seriously considered leaving the profession or are planning to do so by the end of the year. Nearly all said they understand why other teachers have quit.

A veteran teacher recently admitted she was ready to quit her job at a private high school. The problem is that the school has ceded power to its counselors, who have made their students’ feelings the top priority. This makes the classroom nearly impossible to manage.

teachers, teachers quit, educationA stressed math teacher.via Canva/Photos

“The counselors believe every student's feeling needs to be acknowledged,” the teacher wrote. “If a student is talking while the teacher is talking and a teacher tells them to stop they complain to their counselor that their teacher is picking on them. The counselor acknowledges their feelings as ‘real’ and repeatedly tells them their feelings are ok. That feelings are never wrong to have.”

“These kids are high school age and are smart enough to weaponize this power. They've already made me cry once this year and I had another teacher come to my room crying,” the teacher continued. “I'm thinking about quitting either soon or in December. Is this a new trend in education? I know kids and parents have changed, but I've never worked at a school where the counselors make it so much worse.”

“Maybe I'm getting too old for this modern bubble wrapping of kids emotions at the expense of others around them,” she concluded her post on Reddit’s Teacher’s forum.

The school counselors appear to be pushing an idea recently popular in psychology circles: feelings should always be honored and never questioned. Michael Karson, Ph.D., refers to this as the "Tyranny of Emotion" in Psychology Today. "Privileging emotion is like privileging one’s own hunger or lust, an essentially narcissistic approach to gratification that leaves others at the mercy of one’s whims. Instead of demanding compliance with our feelings, we ought to be learning how to manage them," he writes.

teachers, teachers quit, educationA super stressed teacher.via Canva/Photos

The teacher’s story rallied a lot of support for her, with fellow educators chiming in to explain the phenomenon she’s experiencing and share examples of how they’re handling it.

One of the teachers believes that the overwhelming focus on feelings will lead to real problems for students as they age.

"I really resent that teaching has been conflated with therapy. We are not trained to nurture the emotions of 30 children simultaneously, while also teaching them. I couldn't do it. I don't do it. … It sounds like instead of just 'acknowledging' feelings, there is some entitlement attached to having a feeling. That students and the councelling department have run with the idea that feelings are facts and need constant accommodation. It's not a helpful practice to amplify teenagers negative emotions and put them on a pedestal, to the point where they are aware of how to manipulate adults. Students need support... with professionals and family.

The repercussions of this bubble zone will manifest in negative ways throughout adulthood. Students will become entitled, defensive, righteous, self-involved, disappointed when faced with challenges where their feelings aren't valued.

Another teacher noted that the over-emphasis on feelings neglects other important parts of social-emotional learning (SEL).

"Uh no. SEL has 5 core competencies. The first is self-awareness. Yes, the students should have feelings and feelings are important. The second competency is self-management. Now that we've identified this feeling, how can we self-regulate so we can still be productive in class? It seems your counseling department only got 20% of the training on SEL? Lol."

Another commenter helped make sense of the situation by suggesting a practical way forward for the teacher.

“I would ask and email your admin about it. Tell them your situation and how its affecting instruction. If they have your back, there you go. If they don't, I'd quit.”

Teachers

A teacher asked a great question about superintendent pay. Then, all hell broke loose.

Her earnest question about inequality in our education system was met with a grotesque abuse of power.

Why should a superintendent get a raise while teachers in the same district struggling to make ends meet see their paychecks flatline — year after year after year?

Teacher Deyshia Hargrave begged the question. Minutes later, she was handcuffed and placed in the backseat of a cop car. The scene was captured below by YouTube user Chris Rosa, who attended a board meeting for Vermilion Parish Schools in Louisiana. You can watch Hargrave begin speaking about 33 seconds in. The situation starts becoming contentious around 6:35 minutes. Hargrave is arrested at 8:35, and then walked outside in handcuffs and placed in the back of police vehicle.


Teacher Deyshia Hargrave was questioning the school board how they can vote to give the superintendent a raise when school employees have not gotten a raise ...

"We work very hard with very little to maintain the salaries that we have," Hargrave, who teaches middle school language arts, said during a public comment portion of the meeting, stating that she's seen classroom sizes balloon during her time at the school with no increased compensation. "We're meeting those goals, while someone in that position of leadership [the superintendent] is getting raise? It's a sad, sad day to be a teacher in Vermilion Parish."

According to comments Hargrave made to BuzzFeed News, she believes Superintendent Jerome Puyau was already making $110,000 before the board voted to give him a raise of $38,000. The raise alone is roughly the salary of "a teacher, or two cafeteria workers, or two janitors," Hargrave told the outlet.

After Hargrave spoke out again later in the meeting, a city marshal on duty asked her to leave — even though the school board was still addressing her.

"You're going to leave, or I'm going to remove you," the officer told her, as seen in the video. Many people in attendance seemed shocked. "Are you serious?" someone asked, aghast, in the crowd.

Hargrave leaves the room, followed by the officer. But moments later, someone chimed in, "he's putting her in handcuffs" — and the room erupts in disarray.

"I am not [resisting], you just pushed me to the floor!" Hargrave is heard screaming at the officer, as he forcibly removes her down the hallway and out the building in handcuffs. "Sir, hold on! I am way smaller than you!"

Teacher removed from Vermilion school board meeting in handcuffs

According to KATV News, Hargrave was booked in the city jail for resisting an officer — a fact that left many commenters online flabbergasted. School officials are reportedly not pressing charges. "Umm ... what charges could they possibly make?" one Redditor noted.

With help from the Reddit community, Rosa's video has gone viral, garnering more than 600,000 views in less than 24 hours. Clearly, Hargrave's earnest question about inequality in our education system — met with a grotesque abuse of power — has clearly touched a nerve with people across the country.

"I don't know how this teacher could have been more polite and patient in her earnest desire to find out why the superintendent deserves a raise while the teachers work harder with less," YouTube commenter Scott Wells chimed in. "She continued to press because they refused to come up with an answer. Seems like a good question to me."

We agree.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

Eaglebrook School, Deerfield, Massachusetts.

The typical kid’s experience in school is a lot different today than it was 30 to 40 years ago. It’s hard to say whether things are better or worse, but there’s been a sea change in how children are raised.

One negative development is that teachers tend to think parents are more likely to side with their kids over faculty in disputes than they were decades ago. On the positive side, corporal punishment is on the decrease, so students are much less likely to be physically punished for breaking the rules.

A Reddit user with the username u/theSandwichSister asked the ‘80s and ‘90s kids on the forum, “What’s something a school teacher did to you that would not fly today?” A lot of the responses were about the type of physical punishment and humiliation that used to happen in schools that would never happen these days.


There were also a lot of posts about teachers who smoked around their students. Can you imagine a kindergarten teacher lighting up in front of their students these days? They’d be fired in a flash.

Overall, the responses show that schools are a lot more concerned with the mental and emotional health of their students these days, which is a wonderful improvement. Schools also seem to be much more friendly environments to students who are people of color, LGBTQ or have disabilities.

Here are 17 of the best responses to the question, “What’s something a school teacher did to you that would not fly today?”

1.

"Not a teacher, but school one. If you read enough books during the year in elementary school you got to have a sleepover in the library. Like we brought sleeping bags and slept on the floor. In the morning they had griddles out and we made pancakes. I know, total nerds, but it was my favorite elementary school memory." — 7askingforafriend

2.

"My elementary school principal would pull loose teeth. You could go to his office, have him pull your loose tooth and he would give you a lollipop." — snowfuckerforreal

3.

"I told my biology teacher that I wasn't feeling too well, he said that I didn't look sick, and as punishment made me stand in the corner until I fainted." — AustrianReaper

4.

"In high school, we would sometimes play knee soccer which was in our wrestling room (wall to wall wrestling mats) and was really just handball but on our knees. The PE teacher (football coach) let us play rough since it was an all male class and we were on our knees and couldn't do too much damage. During the game, two of the students were grappling for the ball and as these things go, one of them accidentally knocked the other a little too aggressively. The kid that got hit (an known asshole of the school) got pissed and stood up and kicked the other kid.

The PE teacher (225lb jacked military hair cut) stormed over and shoved the kid who flew about 10 feet before crashing to the ground. The kid gets up ready to fight whoever shoved him and the teacher had closed the gap and started screaming at him. Then the teacher lectured the entire class about sportsmanship and honor. The teacher never got in any trouble." — hangingonwith2fingers

5.

"In 5th grade, I was called to the office at my public school. I was a goody two-shoes so I had no idea why I was called, so I started tearing up thinking something bad must've happened to my family. Eventually, I was ushered into a room as my two best friends left. The principal and 2 other staff members then sat me down and showed me a piece of paper. It was a silly poem I wrote one of my friends about a good witch who granted wishes by mixing together some mundane ingredients. Apparently, their mother found the poem and complained to the school. Their response was to interview my friends about MY RELIGION." — ktbunny

6.

"6th grade teacher Ms. Sullivan would take 3 kids every Friday to McDonald’s for lunch. She was cool as hell. Smoked during the drive and everything." — SigP365SAS


7.

"My 3rd grade teacher had the whole class camp in her backyard after the last day of school. She took us to see the original TMNT movie in the theater, then we stayed up late telling ghost stories. One of my absolute fondest memories." — Cambot1138

8.

"Yeah, there are a lot of negative things in this thread, which makes sense, but there are some 'cool teacher' things that we lost too. I got a ride home from school once from a male teacher in middle school (I'm female) when it was pouring rain and my mom wouldn't come get me, but I bet that's not allowed these days." — rabidstoat

9.

"English teacher in high school used to cuss kids out for being noisy in class and if that didn't work, he'd throw the blackboard eraser at us. I wasn't on the receiving end of the eraser. That chalk would leave marks on kid's backs for the rest of the day so everyone knew who pissed off Mr Charvet." — Roscoe_Cracks_Corn

 

10.

"7th-grade science class, the teacher walked around with a beaker full of mercury and told us to stick a finger in it to feel how dense it was. Then he gave us each our own penny-size drop of mercury to play with at our desks, so we could see how it moved. I’m sure we were poisoned that day. Nowadays if a thermometer breaks they clear the school." — weirdkid71

11.

"Not something done to me per se, but my 3rd grade teacher had a little office with a door inside our classroom, and she would smoke cigarettes in there while we were at lunch/recess." — HutSutRawlson

 

12.

"Cheese Day in the Midwest. It was in first grade. For an entire day, all you ate was cheese. Cheese puffs, curls, sticks, slices, balls, and Doritos. Drank orange Hi-C as well. For 10+ years, smelling that fake cheese made me gag. After her wedding, and the birth of her son, my sister says Cheese Day the best day of her life. Wasn’t Wisconsin either." — 2_Spicy_2_Impeach

13.

"They told us Pluto was a planet." — Representative-Fig96

14.

"Best math teacher ever made us say numerator/denominator in Schwarzenegger voices as we were learning fractions." — kittensington

15.

"High School, we were on campus, drove a van to the locker rooms because I was with The QB, Linebacker and a couple of linemen who needed to get crap from their lockers. We were drinking beer in the van, it was 1:30, the football coach sees us, stops the van, looks inside and sees the beer, and shook his head and told us to be careful and get off campus. I don’t think that would fly today." — kentro2002

16.

"A lot of people are posting bad stuff, so let me share a good one. In 9th grade, in 1984, I had a class analyzing lyrics in pop music. Students brought in records by Led Zep and John Cougar and we'd discuss what they meant. Seriously a life-changing class. It makes me sad that younger students in America are so caught up in the rat race that they never had experiences like that." — Adventuresphere

 

17.

"I had an awesome teacher who would send one of us to the shop (just a minute’s walk away) with enough money to get ice creams for everybody whenever it was hot and she didn’t feel like teaching." — wanderingsteph


This article originally appeared on 08.30.22

Representative photo credit: Canva

Teachers shouldn't have to work two jobs.

It's been said a million times but bears repeating until it comes true: Teachers deserve to be paid well. Not just enough to get by or even a decent salary, but a lot. Surgeon-level salaries. Engineer-level salaries. Unless you've experienced first-hand what it takes to manage 25 or 30 of immature human beings and engage them in productive learning all day, you probably have no idea. Teaching is one of the hardest jobs there is and arguably one of the most important for the future of humanity.

And yet, many teachers end up working second jobs because their teacher salary doesn't pay enough. Countless educators wait tables or deliver pizzas or take on other part-time work on evenings and weekends to fill in the gaps.

So when Twitch streamers Emily and Emiru found out their friendly server at International House of Pancakes was a teacher, they decided to do something extra special and give her a large tip.


The server, Brenda, was all dressed up for Halloween and she explained that her school had had a party for the students that day. The streamers told her she looked great, but privately expressed concern about her working a second job after teaching all day.

"That makes me sad, she's a teacher and she has to work at night at IHOP," Emiru said. "Let's give her a really big tip."

@extraemily

Emiru and ExtraEmily left her a $2000 tip #extraemily #extraemilyclips #otk #otkteam #emiru #emiruclips #waitress #thousanddollars

They were live streaming at the time and people in the chat started adding money to their tip, which quickly added up to $2,000. The girls helped Brenda get set up on Venmo, then sent the tip electronically with a note that said, "THANK YOU FOR BEING THE BEST HALLOWEEN SPIRIT EVER [HEART EMOJI] W BRENDA."

When Brenda saw the tip amount, her jaw dropped in disbelief. She called it "a blessing" and hugged the girls, saying, "My students will thank you so much!" After Emily and Emiru told her she deserved it, she added, "I'll be able to do a lot for my kids. They're so precious. I'm grandma to so many kids." She said she was thinking of her favorite student and what she was going to be able to do for them for Christmas.

That reaction right there is why teachers deserve to be paid a salary they can thrive on. The first thing she thought of was her students and how they will benefit from this money, not her.

People have reacted with well-deserved praise for Brenda's selflessness, gratitude to Emily and Emiru for arranging the generous tip, and dismay at how dystopian it is for teachers to have to work two jobs while people donate to them through online streamers. Celebrating the human kindness on display while also lamenting the reality of what we're looking at has become such a common occurrence when it comes to helping teachers out. We have teachers pouring their own limited money into their classrooms. We have events where teachers "win" money for their schools. We have crowdfunding campaigns for school supplies—all in one of the richest countries on Earth.

We can rail about that all day long, but unless we elect legislators who value public education and value what teachers do, things aren't going to change on the compensation front as much as they should. That's a long game, though, so in the meantime, these kinds of gestures can make a real difference in the life of an individual teacher. Kudos to Emily and Emiru for making this humble teacher's day.