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Boss shares 5 things he's 'sick' of hearing from staff and people actually love him for it

He's just being honest.

via Rob Dance (used with permission).

CEO Rob Dance holds a list of things he's "sick" of hearing from his employees.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted workplaces worldwide, there has been a greater push for improved work-life balance and many companies are taking notice. The exciting thing is that when companies become more flexible, their employees become happier and more productive.

It’s a win-win for all involved.

Rob Dance, the CEO of ROCK, a technology consulting company in the UK, recently went viral for posting about his approach to work-life balance on Instagram. What, at first, appeared to be a CEO reprimanding his employees revealed a boss who knows how to get the best out of is team by treating them like adults.

The post was of Dance holding a whiteboard that reads:

Things I’m sick of hearing from my employees:

- Can I leave early today

- I’ll be late in the morning

- My child is sick, can I rush off

- I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, is that okay

- I’m going to be late back from lunch, I’ve got some things to sort.

I don’t care.

I hired you for a job and I fully TRUST you to get it done.

I don’t need you to account for every single hour.

Times have changed, and the workplace is different these days.

People are sick of being treated like children.

All that should matter is that everyone is happy, and that the work gets done.

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Rob Dance (@robdanceofficial)

He also shared his advice for companies on how to treat their employees. “Treat your staff like adults. That’s it, that’s the big secret,” he wrote. “Give them autonomy. Respect that they have lives outside of work. Don’t gaslight them into being grateful for not being fired every day.” Because in the end, the only thing that matters is if they get the job done. “Output should always trump hours,” he concluded.

Upworthy contacted Dance, who explained why managers still hesitate to treat their employees like adults.

“Many bosses don't trust their employees and keep extremely close tabs on them because of past experiences and a desire for control. They might believe that micromanaging ensures productivity and prevents issues,” he told Upworthy. “Additionally, the pressure to meet business targets can drive bosses to monitor employees obsessively, thinking it will lead to better outcomes. This approach, however, only undermines trust and destroys morale in the workplace. It creates a toxic environment where employees feel undervalued and stressed, leading to higher turnover rates and decreased overall performance. Instead of fostering a culture of accountability and growth, this behavior only promotes fear and resentment.”

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Rob Dance (@robdanceofficial)

Dance says that technology has helped drive demand for improved work-life balance.

“Mobile technology definitely started to blur the lines between one’s professional and personal life, making it tough to switch off from work,” he told Upworthy. “As a millennial leader, I've always valued work-life harmony for my staff, helping them to achieve both flexibility and finding purpose in their work.”

The ROCK CEO also has advice for employees who’d like to gain their employer’s trust.

“Always deliver quality work and aim to meet or exceed expectations. Keep communication lines open by regularly updating your manager on your progress, challenges, and successes,” he told Upworthy. “Take the initiative to go beyond basic requirements, showing your willingness to contribute more. Act with integrity by always being honest and ethical. Seek honest feedback and make tangible improvements based on it, demonstrating your commitment to growth. Finally, a big one is building positive relationships with everyone you work with, as strong connections are what help to build real trust.”

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Psychologists set the record straight on what gaslighting is (and what it's not)

"People often tell me that someone gaslighted them when in fact, what they are describing is mere disagreement."

Photo by Timur Weber: Pexels

Arguments and disagreements do not automatically equal gaslighting.

Unless we were in therapy to deal with an emotionally abusive relationship, most of us weren't familiar with the term "gaslighting" until the past decade. Now, it's everywhere, and there always seems to be someone talking to people and gaslighting them. In fact, it's used so much that in 2022, it was named a word of the year by the dictionary giant Merriam-Webster.

"Gaslighting" has become a common part of our vocabulary—unfortunately, it also comes with some common misunderstandings.

Merriam-Webster currently defines gaslighting as “the act or practice of grossly misleading someone, especially for one’s own advantage,” but that definition merely reflects how the clinical term has been broadened and oversimplified. As psychologists explain, specific factors make a behavior gaslighting instead of disagreeing, correcting, or trying to persuade someone that they're right.

Where the term "gaslighting" comes from

The word "gaslighting" is derived from a 1938 play called "Gas Light," which was subsequently adapted as the film "Gaslight" in 1944. In that story, a young woman's new husband—who had, unbeknownst to her, murdered her aunt 10 years prior—tries to make her think she's losing her mind. He manipulates her environment (for instance, by repeatedly dimming the gas lights) but denies that anything odd is happening, making her question her reality. His deception was deliberate—he hoped to drive her mad so he could institutionalize her and steal a cache of jewels that were hidden in her aunt's house.

That storyline, the husband's tactics and the reason for them provide helpful context for what gaslighting is and isn't.

What is "gaslighting"?

Psychology Today defines gaslighting as "an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity. Over time, a gaslighter’s manipulations can grow more complex and potent, making it increasingly difficult for the victim to see the truth."

Robin Stern, Ph.D., wrote the 2007 book "The Gaslight Effect," which helped popularize the term that she says is now losing its meaning. "People often tell me that someone gaslighted them when, in fact, what they are describing is mere disagreement," she writes in Psychology Today.

Here's how she describes it:

"Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one person’s psychological manipulation causes another person to question their reality. Gaslighting can happen between two people in any relationship. A gaslighter preserves his or her sense of self and power over the gaslightee, who adopts the gaslighter’s version of reality over their own."

Ahona Guha D.Psych offers a definition that includes some key factors:

"Gaslighting is a pattern of behaviour, usually intentional, designed to make someone question their own reality, memories, or experiences. The lesson is simple: When identifying gaslighting, look for a pattern (i.e., one time is not enough), and for behaviour that seems intentional or malicious (think 'No, you are over-reacting because you are too sensitive, it didn’t happen that way')."

When is it not really gaslighting?

If we define gaslighting as simply misleading or confusing someone, it becomes easy to mislabel all kinds of normal, imperfect human interactions as such. Disagreements, remembering events differently, and even trying to convince someone of your viewpoint are not gaslighting unless they involve some specific elements.

"It’s important to remember that gaslighting is not present every time there is a conflict, and someone feels strongly about their point of view and rejects another’s," explains Stern. "Conflicts can veer into gaslighting if one person is so insistent that the other person starts to doubt themselves. A power imbalance in the relationship usually allows the gaslighter to undermine the gaslightee’s sense of self. The need to control, the act of manipulating, and the leveraging of power are essential components of gaslighting—not hurt feelings or challenged viewpoints."

"Often, the gaslighter is unyielding and verbally aggressive," Stern adds. "The gaslighter likely turns a back-and-forth discussion into blaming the other person and may even lie outright about what took place. They may use statements such as, 'Are you crazy? I never said that—must be early memory loss,' and 'OMG—fantasy land as usual. Can’t you remember anything?!'"

Guha emphasizes that gaslighting is not a one-off behavior but a pattern. "Most people will say things that might be insensitive, exasperated, or callous on occasion. It would not count as gaslighting unless there was a repeated pattern over time — a pattern based on a desire to deny recognition of the other’s experience."

Why does it matter if we call something gaslighting when it's not?

“Gaslighting is often used in an accusatory way when somebody may just be insistent on something, or somebody may be trying to influence you," Dr. Stern told Well + Good. "That’s not what gaslighting is.” She shared that accusing someone of gaslighting when they are really just insistent on a strongly held opinion, or belief shuts down a conversation in an unhealthy way.

Stern and her colleague Marc Brackett at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence wrote in the Washington Post, "Today, many people use 'gaslighting' when someone merely disagrees with them. Well-meaning partners, co-workers, or family members may not be skilled in resolving conflict in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they’re gaslighting — or being gaslighted. Mislabeling and name-calling can break down communication. It can also lead you to think you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship when you’re not."

Gaslighting is "an extreme form of emotional abuse," according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, so if you wonder if you may be the victim of a gaslighter, get advice from a professional therapist who has the knowledge and experience to help.

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Persuasion expert shares how one word makes people 30% more likely to change their minds

This tactic can immediately get someone on your side.

via LinkedIn Sales Solutions/Unsplash

Here's how to be 30% more persuasive.

Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.

One group was asked, "Can you help clean?" The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?" The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”

Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

"It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, 'Can you be a leader?' Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to 'Be an innovator'? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use thgem skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”

This article originally appeared on 2.11.24

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Screw your 'to-do list,' psychologist suggests 'to-don't' lists can be just as helpful

Embrace the freedom that comes with being realistic.

via Canva

A woman writing her to-don't list.

There are never enough hours in the day to get everything done. Even if there were, who’d have enough energy to do it? Most people spend their days caring for their family and trying to earn a living and by the end of the day, there isn’t enough time to spend on themselves.

On top of that, if you’re living in most of the developed world, hustle culture also suggests you have a hobby that you’re trying to turn into a career. There’s also the pressure to spend a few hours a week volunteering at your kid's school while having a regular workout routine and ensuring you drink 64 ounces of water before lunchtime.

It can all be ridiculous. That’s why therapists suggest that in addition to writing to-do lists every morning, we should write “to don’t” lists to ensure that we aren’t wasting our time and energy on things that don’t matter.

Dr. Amantha Imber, an organizational psychologist, recently told ABC News that the cult of hyper-productivity can be “flawed.”

"It leads to feelings of guilt, exhaustion and burnout, because, essentially, time is finite. Yet, we're always adding more things to our to-do list in the hope that it will get us ahead," Dr. Imber says. "The purpose of a to-don't list is to reflect on habits you want to break or things you want to do differently.”

to-do list, to-don't list, productivity A man writing a list.via Ivan Samkov/Pexels

How to write a to-don't list

Dr. Imber suggests that we examine the tasks we can stop doing and put them on our to-don’t list. Examples include overcommitting to social engagements, needing to do chores while working from home, or packing your kid an elaborate lunch in the morning when what they’re serving in the school cafeteria is fine.

The key is to be realistic about the amount of time and energy that you have.

It’s also essential to think about the daily habits that prevent you from getting everything done, such as scrolling through TikTok, going to a coffee shop instead of brewing it at home, taking unnecessary meetings and responding to emails that aren’t a top priority. "It's hip to focus on getting things done, but it's only possible once we remove the constant static and distraction. If you have trouble deciding what to do, just focus on not doing," Tim Ferriss, author of “The 4-Hour Work Week,” said, according to Mindjournals.

If the average person removed one social media app from their phone, they could probably develop a life-changing meditation habit.

to-do list, to don't-list, productivity A woman writing a list.via Thirdman/Pexels

How to write a successful list

The key to success with your to-don’t list is to write it down. A study by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University in California, found that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. That works even if your goal is not to do something.

Here’s an example of a to-don’t list:

1. No social media until lunchtime

2. Get my kid velcro shoes (no tying, no knots)

3. Don’t respond to memes sent by friends until after work

4. Worry about the news when you are done with work

5. No playing games on the phone

6. Say no to meetings that could be emails

7. Make coffee at home instead of going to the drive-thru

8. Go out to lunch with the co-worker who is an energy vampire

9. Don't worry about the kid being late to soccer practice

10. Don't to everything

11. Plan a dinner that needs to be marinated during the day

The cool thing is that once you commit to a to-don’t list, you will quickly begin to notice all the things you would love to eliminate from your day so you can make more room for the things that make you happy.

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A depressed person asked strangers for quick and easy meal ideas and they didn't disappoint

Great tips for navigating tough times.

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Everything can feel harder when you're depressed, from showering to feeding yourself so when one person took to Reddit to ask "fellow depressed people" for quick and easy meal ideas when struggling and hundreds of peopel jumped in to answer the call.

"I haven’t been able to cook anything in almost a year due to a depressive episode, even simple things like rice and sausage (I loathe beans). Yes, I am on medication and in therapy but nothing has been working for a while. So I’m looking for ideas of cheap foods I can eat to expand beyond my usual peanut butter/jam sandwiches, cereal, and protein bars," user Evening_second196 shares.

The person received a lot of suggestions that could work for anyone who is also struggling with depression, ADHD or grief. Several people commented about the versatility of potatoes, including instant mashed potatoes where all you need is a little hot water to make a meal.

There's more than one way to eat a potato

"Cheese, pepperoni and crackers. Before it was fancy charcuterie, it was my go-to depression meal. My other depression meal is a baked potato. I would just throw it in the microwave. Top with butter (and sour cream if I had it)," one person writes while other's chime in on their reliance on potatoes during a hard time. "Instant mashed potatoes can be made with just water, and if you're feeling froggy a bit of butter or margarine in the microwave. Instant gravy and water works in the microwave too."

"I buy bags of tiny gold potatoes and steam them, then saturate with butter and whatever else I have on hand. For steaming, you can microwave with plastic wrap, or you can steam on the stove on motivation days," another person shares.

Of course there were suggestions outside of different ways to eat potatoes, but there are so many ways a potato can make a quick warm low effort meal.

bunch of potatoes Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Eggs are over easy

Ok, that was a bad pun but eggs really are easy to make into a meal according to commenters. One person shares their 60 second egg meal that takes so little effort that it might feel made up.

"Fill a glass measuring cup or any microwavable cup with 3/4 cup cold water. Put a raw egg in the water. Do not stir, just gently drop it in. Microwave for 60 seconds. Perfect poached egg! Great on toasted English muffins!"

a close up of a plate of food with eggs Photo by ABHISHEK HAJARE on Unsplash

"Microwaves are so underrated!"

Several people mention easily microwavable things, "I’m a big fan of the microwave. I like microwaveable, frozen vegetables (especially Birds Eye Fusions Spring Mix) and frozen, pre-cooked, diced chicken."

Another sends words of encouragement along with a recipe, "Microwaves are so underrated! OP, if you have some non-perishable ingredients and can stir them together, you can have a warm, fluffy pancake whenever you want, in no time at all.

1/4 cup flour, 2 Tbsp sugar, 1/2 tsp baking powder, pinch of salt; mix in a large mug or a bowl.

Add 1 Tbsp oil and 4 Tbsp milk or water. Stir. Lumps are fine. If you have vanilla extract or chocolate chips, go ahead and add them.

Microwave for 60-70 seconds, or possibly longer for a low-powered microwave. Top with syrup if you have it. Boom. Instant meal that could hardly be easier.

I'm rooting for you OP, you can do it. And it gets easier with practice."

homer simpson microwave GIFGiphy

There's no shortage of ideas for those lacking energy to cook

"I get frozen meatballs by Cooked Perfect. You microwave 3 of them for 1 minute, 6 for 2 minutes. Microwave a sweet potato for a few minutes. Sweet potatoes have more nutrients than white potatoes. Instead of the meatballs you can microwave some chicken tenders," someone writes.

"My current depression meal is one can of black beans, one can of corn, and salsa. If I have it on hand I will add a dollop of sour cream," another shares.

woman standing near window during daytime Photo by Stacey Koenitz on Unsplash

There's no shame in needing to eat foods that don't require the energy it takes to make an entire meal from scratch. The most important theme throughout all the comments is finding ways that work for you to continue providing your body with fuel until you're on the other end of depression, fatigue or whatever is causing the energy slump.

As one commenter says, we're all rooting for you!

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Why time seems to accelerate as we get older and what we can do to slow it down

How time works is totally trippy, but there are some "tricks" to change how our brains process it.

Jordan Benton/Canva

Time is weird.

You're going along, minding your own business on the internet, when suddenly this little gem comes across your timeline:

1980 to 2023 = 1937 to 1980. How can that math be right? Kevin Smith/GenX Only Facebook Group

Your first reaction is, "Nuh-uh, no way," so you pull out the calculator to do the math yourself—several times because you're sure you must've missed a number somewhere. You remember how long ago 1937 seemed in 1980, and there's no possible way that much time has passed between 1980 and now. Then, as the warped reality of time washes over you, you sit and stare in stunned silence, contemplating the existential crisis.

Why does time work this way? Why does it seem to get faster and faster and condense to make decades seem shorter and shorter as we age? And perhaps more importantly, how the heck do we stop time from feeling like a runaway freight train?

Here are a few theories about what creates the freight train phenomenon.

Time perception is relative—and kids perceive it differently

"Time flies when you're having fun" is a saying for a reason. Time also drags when you're doing drudgery work and feels like it stands still in moments of significance. And yet the ticking of seconds as they go by doesn't change tempo. We measure it with steady, unchanging beats, but how it feels changes constantly.

This relativity exists in every passing moment, but it also exists in the bigger picture as well. The years felt like they passed by much more slowly when we were children, and by middle age, they feel like they pass in the blink of an eye. The pandemic gave us an even greater sense of this relativity as disruptions to our normal routines and the stress associated with the COVID-19 years messed with our sense of time. (On an odd side note, surveys show that our time perception during the pandemic varied a lot from place to place—people in some parts of the world felt that time moved more slowly, while others felt time moved more quickly.)

According to a 2023 Hungarian study published in Nature Scientific Reports, very young children perceive time differently than older children and adults. Researchers split 138 people into three age groups—pre-kindergarten, school-age and adults 18 and over—and showed them two videos of the same duration, one that was "eventful" and one that was "uneventful." Interestingly, the pre-K group perceived the eventful video to be longer, while the older children and adults saw the uneventful video as longer.

The way the study participants described the length of the videos in gestures was also telling. Young children were much more likely to use vertical hand gestures, connoting volume or magnitude, to indicate a length of time than the other two age groups. School-aged kids and adults tended to use horizontal gestures, indicating time as linear, increasing with age.

Our neural processing slows down as we age

Professor Adrian Bejan has a theory based on how neurons process signals. As we age, our neural networks increase in size and complexity, and as a result, process visual information at a slower rate. That slower processing means we create fewer mental images each second than we did when we were younger, thereby making time seem to slow down.

“People are often amazed at how much they remember from days that seemed to last forever in their youth, Bejan shared with Harvard University. "It’s not that their experiences were much deeper or more meaningful; it’s just that they were being processed in rapid fire.”

In other words, processing the same number of mental images we did in our youth takes longer now, somewhat counterintuitively making time seem to pass more quickly. So goes the theory, anyway.

It might simply be about time-to-life ratios

Another popular theory about why time feels different as a child than it does as an adult is the ratio of any given day, week or year to the amount of time we've been alive. To a 5-year-old, a year is 20% of their entire life. For a 50-year-old, a year only is 0.2% of their life, so it feels like it went by much more quickly.

It's also a matter of how much change has happened in that year. A year in the life of a 5-year-old is full of rapid growth and change and learning and development. A year in the life of a 50-year-old probably isn't a whole lot different than when they were 48 or 49. Even if there are major life changes, the middle-aged brain isn't evolving at nearly the same rate as a child. A 50-year-old looking back at the past year will have a lot fewer changes to process than a 5-year-old, therefore the year will seems like it went by a lot faster.

“Our perception of days, weeks, years and that kind of time seems to be especially influenced by our perspective: Are we in the moment experiencing it, or are we looking backward on time?” psychology professor Cindy Lustig told the University of Michigan.

The key to slowing it all down? Be mindful of the present moment.

Lustig has a point. When we are in the moment, our perception of time is much different than when we look back. So, being fully conscious in the present moment can help us rein in the freight train effect.

One way to do that is to be mindful of your physical existence in this moment. Feel your heart beating. Feel your breath going in and out. Cornell University psychology professor Adam Anderson, Ph.D., conducted a study that found our perception of time may be linked with the length of our heartbeats. (Study participants were fitted with electrocardiograms and asked to listen to a brief audio tone. They perceived the tone as longer after a longer heartbeat and shorter after a shorter one.) He suggests starting a stopwatch, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing for what you think feels like a minute. Then, check your time to see how accurate your estimation was.

“This can give you a sense of how much your experience of your body is related to your experience of time,” Anderson told WebMD. “It will help teach you to enjoy the pure experience of time.”

You can also use focused breathing to purposely slow down your heart rate, and thus slow down your time perception. “We show that slow heart rates—that is, a longer duration between heartbeats—dilates time, slowing it down," Anderson said.

Finally, try to take in the world the way you did as a small child. Take note of life's wonders. Engage fully in whatever you're doing. Notice details and take mental pictures as much as you can. Time goes by fast when we're distracted, so training our attention on the here and now can help. Ultimately, we can strive to perceive time more like we did when we were little, in its full depth and magnitude instead of a narrow, straight line.

This article originally appeared on 1.5.24

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Therapist and mom helps struggling parents by explaining care tasks are ‘morally neutral'

'It's morally neutral' is my new phrase!

Photo by Richard Sagredo on Unsplash

woman in pink knit cap carrying baby in pink knit cap

Parents can sometimes struggle with the responsibility of keeping little people that depend on them alive, healthy and respectful, while also trying to maintain some semblance of a life outside of their kids. Keeping a house running, the lights on and maintaining relationships can result in balls being dropped due to sheer overwhelm. Care tasks like laundry, sweeping, mopping and even showering can end up getting sidelined. Care tasks are simply things that mean caring for one’s self or one’s space, otherwise known as cleaning or activities of daily living. The goal, no matter what you call it, is taking care of yourself.

K.C. Davis, a licensed professional counselor and mom, is known on TikTok for her approach to care tasks by taking the morality and shame out of completing or not completing these tasks. Davis’ catchphrase is “it’s morally neutral” when explaining that homes don’t need to be immaculate to show you care about your space, they just need to be functional.

Let’s take a moment to face an unfortunate fact that still perseveres in our modern society. The brunt of household tasks and family management is handled by the default parent, and in many households, that default parent is the mother. This is also known as invisible labor as it involves tasks that are expected to be completed, typically go unnoticed when they are completed, but are shockingly evident when they go undone.

@domesticblisters
#strugglecare #mentalhealth #caretasks #childhood

Davis makes caring for your home, self and children less of a moral duty that can make you feel like a failure and more like things that engender feelings of empowerment. She encourages the default parent to even the load by having open communication with their partner on what they need to feel supported.

Davis also spends time explaining tips and tricks that help her get things done, like setting a visual timer. We get to witness how she utilizes this timer in her everyday life through her videos showing how she “resets her space.” In the majority of her videos she encourages people to think of the functionality of their space and making it work for them.

@domesticblisters
Reply to @imhailey000 #strugglecare #mentalhealth #ADHD #cleantok #homecare #messismorallyneutral

According to Davis, functionality is key when it comes to care tasks, and she’s prepared with the tools for transforming a space from chaotic to functional. The focus of her videos is never on cleanliness, which can rub some folks the wrong way (as evidenced by her comment section). Her goal is to give primary caregivers and even single people the permission and empowerment to know that they deserve a functional space, and that care tasks are morally neutral.

In her book, "How to Keep House While Drowning," Davis explains how to be gentle with yourself while also caring for yourself and your home in a way that works best for you. Her gentle approach to care tasks is what keeps people coming back. It’s the validation that we all need.

This article originally appeared on 3.25.22

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Mental Health

Boss shares 5 things he's 'sick' of hearing from staff and people actually love him for it

He's just being honest.

Psychologists set the record straight on what gaslighting is (and what it's not)

"People often tell me that someone gaslighted them when in fact, what they are describing is mere disagreement."

Where the term "gaslighting" comes from

What is "gaslighting"?

When is it not really gaslighting?

Why does it matter if we call something gaslighting when it's not?

Screw your 'to-do list,' psychologist suggests 'to-don't' lists can be just as helpful

Embrace the freedom that comes with being realistic.

How to write a to-don't list

How to write a successful list

A depressed person asked strangers for quick and easy meal ideas and they didn't disappoint

Great tips for navigating tough times.

There's more than one way to eat a potato

Eggs are over easy

"Microwaves are so underrated!"

There's no shortage of ideas for those lacking energy to cook

Why time seems to accelerate as we get older and what we can do to slow it down

How time works is totally trippy, but there are some "tricks" to change how our brains process it.

Time perception is relative—and kids perceive it differently

Our neural processing slows down as we age

It might simply be about time-to-life ratios

The key to slowing it all down? Be mindful of the present moment.

Therapist and mom helps struggling parents by explaining care tasks are ‘morally neutral'

'It's morally neutral' is my new phrase!

'It's not Little Sun': Mom admits she's having trouble pronouncing her newborn's name

Florida meteorologist applauded for getting emotional in live coverage of Hurricane Milton

Dad uses simple math trick to stop his 6-year-old's tantrums in their tracks

Gen Zer asks Gen X how they got around without GPS and the answers are perfectly accurate

Woman says she has the 'key' to being a good mother-in-law, and it's actually spot-on

See what researchers found when they tested a bottle of Fiji Water against a glass of tap water.