New research reveals that most people say they lie to protect others from harm
Is there such thing as the 'virtuous lie?'
A study examined the motivations people have for lying.
The ethics of honesty are always interesting to explore. Most of us agree that being honest is morally good, but is it important to always tell the truth, no matter what? What if the truth will only hurt someone's feelings? Is it always wrong to lie? What if a lie will save someone's life? Is there a moral difference between stretching the truth and completely demolishing it? Does it depend on why people are doing it?
The reasons people lie are many and varied, of course. But new research gives us some insights into the most common motivations for lying, and surprisingly, the findings are actually pretty heartwarming.
A study published in the Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science in October 2022 looked at the link between personality and lying motivation, as well as the most common reasons people lie. In the study, a group of 257 people were questioned about their lying frequency, lying motivations and personality traits (using the HEXACO Personality Inventory, which measures honesty-humility, emotionality, extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness and openness to experience).
An analysis of the research by Arash Emamzadeh in Psychology Today detailed the findings, which revealed 11 motives for lying:
1. To avoid judgment or shame
2. To avoid punishment
3. Protected from retaliation
4. No "good reason" (basically compulsive lying)
5. To impress others
6. To get a reward
7. Carelessness and impulsiveness
8. To get pleasure out of deceiving people
9. To keep a personal info secret
10. Prosocial reasons that lead to happiness (e.g., telling kids Santa is real)
11. Altruistic reasons (to protect others from harm)
As Emamzadeh pointed out, the first nine motivations on the list are self-serving, while the last two are oriented toward benefiting other people. And while we might assume that most lying is done for selfish reasons, the study actually found the opposite. The top three reasons people reported lying were altruistic reasons, prosocial reasons and avoidance of being judged.
So the biggest reason people lie is to help others. Who knew?
Of course, personality plays a role in why and how often people lie. The study found that lying in general is common, but also found that certain HEXACO personality traits are correlated with more and less frequent lying, as well as different motivations for lying.
People high in the honesty-humility trait were less likely to lie and the majority of lying motivations didn't apply to them. Not surprising.
The emotionality trait (sensitivity/anxiety) was associated with lying to avoid unpleasant or awkward feelings as well as altruism.
Individuals high in extraversion tended to lie more for self-centered reasons and were less likely to lie to keep personal information secret.
Highly agreeable people tended to lie less to avoid punishment or shame or to impress others and also weren't prone to compulsive lying.
Those high in conscientiousness reported lying less frequently and lying less for self-serving reasons, while those low in this trait were more likely to compulsively lie and to enjoy deceiving people.
People most open to new experiences tended to lie for prosocial, others-serving reasons.
Most of the correlations between personality traits and lying are fairly unsurprising, but it is reassuring to know that some behavior and motivation can be predictable.
It's also reassuring to know that most lies aren't as selfish as we might assume they are. Philosophers have long debated the existence and merits of the noble or virtuous lie, and there are compelling arguments for and against lying for morally justifiable reasons. But at the very least, the fact that most lying is done to help others tells us that we are more prone to looking out for one another than we are to serving ourselves. And that's a solid plus one for humanity.
28-year-old buys cruise ship apartment because it's less than renting and he can see the world
An all-expenses-paid life for about $50,000 a year? Sounds like a deal.
A cruise ship floating on azure waters.
Living the rest of your life on a cruise ship seems like the dream of the ultra-rich. You wake up every morning and have an all-you-can-eat breakfast. Spend the afternoon hanging out by the pool or touring a fantastic city such as Rome or Dubrovnik.
At night, have a drink in the lounge watching a comedian or a jazz band, then hit the sack and do it all over again the next day. Seems too good to be true for the average person, right? Think again.
Twenty-eight-year-old Austin Wells of San Diego told CNBC that he can make it happen because it’s cheaper than living onshore in Southern California and he gets to see the world. “The thing that most excites me is I don’t have to upend my daily routine, in order to go see the world,” Wells told CNBC.
“I’m going from this model where you want to go somewhere, you pack a bag, you get on a flight, you rent a room, to now my condo, my gym, my doctors and dentists, all of my grocery stores travel the world with me,” he added.
Wells purchased an apartment on the MV Narrative, which is currently being built in Croatia and sets sail in 2025.
The rough math for Wells' dream makes perfect sense. He purchased a 12-year lease on the ship for $300,000. That comes to about $2,100 a month if he didn’t have to take out a loan. By comparison, most apartments in San Diego cost more than $2,100 per month in rent.
The ship charges an additional $2,100 a month for all-inclusive services, which include food, drinks, alcohol, gym membership, routine healthcare check-ups, onboard entertainment and laundry.
So, it could cost Wells as little as $4,200 a month to live an all-expenses-paid life. Plus, there’s no need to pay for a car or waste time shopping for groceries or traveling anywhere. It’s all on the ship.
Wells can work from the ship because his job with Meta is fully remote.
"What I'm probably most excited about is going to places that ships can only uniquely go,” he told CNBC, adding that cruise ships can travel to “unique ecological parts of the world or beautiful dive spots that are a few miles off land or caves to dive through and the ship will do a number of overnight stays in those areas."
Wells isn’t the only person who’s decided to live on a permanent vacation. Upworthy spoke with a couple in their 50s earlier this year who live on cruise ships because it’s cheaper than their mortgage.
Richard Burk and his wife, Angelyn, are living their best life hopping from ship to ship for around $100 a night, depending on the cruise. "Cruise costs vary quite a bit, our goal is to average about $100 per night, for the couple, or less across an entire calendar year," Richard told Upworthy.
The Burks keep the costs of cruising down through loyalty memberships. “We love to travel and we were searching for a way to continuously travel in our retirement that made financial sense,” Angelyn told 7 News.
People like Wells and the Burks may be outliers in society. They’ve chosen to give up the comforts of home for the comfort of living a life being catered to 24/7. While most of us probably won’t opt to make the big leap and live life out at the sea, their stories are a wonderful reminder that with a little creative thinking, we can create the perfect lives for ourselves whether on land or at sea.
Iowa sports reporter can't hide how he really feels about having to cover Iowa blizzard
'This is what you get when you ask the sports guy to come in to cover a blizzard in the morning show.'
Iowa sports reporter's hilariously sarcastic winter storm coverage.
Some people live where the air hurts their faces, and while some are perfectly happy living and playing in snowmen's favorite weather, others are not. There's nothing like being grumpy about weather you can't control, but someone having to be out in it against their will escalates the irritation to a whole new level.
When sports reporter Mark Woodley was called in to cover the weather, he seemed justifiably annoyed that his assignment was to be outside to tell people of the impending blizzard in Iowa. Woodley made it pretty clear from the moment the cameras started rolling that he was indeed not a winter weather person and the result is hilarious.
The reporter could not contain his sarcasm and questioned why he needed to be outside in the cold to tell other people not to go outside in the cold. He's not wrong. I've often wondered why we need to see a weather man hanging onto a light pole for dear life to tell the general public not to go outside in a hurricane. I guess the reporters are just as confused as we are.
Woodley wasn't amused by this inconvenient detail of his morning assignment and put together a compilation of all of his complaints that have now gone viral on Twitter. He even expressed his confusion when he found out there was actually news being reported at 3:30 a.m. As a sports reporter, there likely has never been a need for him to be awake, let alone report anything, before the sun came up.
In the caption of his now-viral Twitter status he wrote, "This is what you get when you ask the sports guy to come in to cover a blizzard in the morning show." The compilation starts out strong with a snarky remark from Woodley when his co-worker, who was nice and toasty inside the studio, asked how he was feeling out there. The disgruntled sports reporter replied, "Again, the same way I felt about eight minutes ago when you asked me that same question, Ryan."
Yikes! Here's to hoping Woodley is home thawing out and can stick to covering sports, or at least get to stay inside the studio. But in all seriousness, his responses were not only funny but real.
Watch the entire compilation of his snarkiest moments below:
This is what you get when you ask the sports guy to come in to cover a blizzard in the morning show. pic.twitter.com/h0RL9tVQqg
— Mark Woodley (@MarkWoodleyTV) December 22, 2022
Son tells mom that he's 'scared of her' and she responds with a great lesson in parenting
'I know this might be a little shocking but I do sometimes actually find you a little scary.'
Son tells mom that he's scared of her and the exchange is parenting goals.
Parenting is a hard gig regardless of whether you planned to have children or they were a happy surprise. As many parenting books as there are out there, none of them have the perfect equation to get it right and most parents do the best with what they learned, or unlearned, from their own parents.
Samantha, a parenting content creator on TikTok under the name Raising Self, has been working hard to overcome generational trauma and parent her children differently. Recently she was doing a live video to interact with her followers when one of her children made a stunning revelation: he was scared of her.
You could tell by her expression that his confession was a surprise, and though her son barely took his eyes off the video game he was playing, the two had a very meaningful dialogue. Instead of being upset or even happy that her child was fearful, she responded with curiosity.
Some people believe that children should be fearful of their parents in order to respect them, but the exchange Samantha had with her son turned that thought process on its head. He started off the conversation by saying, "I know this might be a little shocking but I do sometimes actually find you a little scary." When Samantha probed him a little she found that what's causing him to be fearful is when her "grandma instincts come out," referring to a generational pattern that his mother has been trying hard not to repeat.
Samantha didn't hesitate with her response: "Yeah, I did not know that. I'm sorry that you're experiencing that." She continued, "When it's happening, please call it out. Cause that allows me to understand what behaviors I'm not doing a good job mitigating." Even though she was shocked, the conversation didn't end there. It's a beautiful exchange that can guide other parents on how to navigate these types of conversations.
Watch the entire conversation below:
@raisingself For us fear does not equate respect. It’s a dynamic we worked not to be in our parent child relationship but it creeped in nonetheless.
Police get the laugh of their lives after called to arrest a 'naked' man on someone’s lawn
It was America's favorite cousin.
Body cam footage from the Shepherdsville Police Department.
The Shepherdsville, Kentucky, police dispatcher’s call to officers sounded serious. "We have a male standing outside," the dispatcher said, according to WDRB. "He is naked. He has a robe covering part of his body. He is exposing himself, and he has a hose between his legs."
However, when the police arrived at the home, they couldn’t keep a straight face because it was clear that someone had mistaken a Christmas display featuring Cousin Eddie of “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” for an actual predator.
"Umm...it's gonna be 'Uncle Eddie,'" the responding officer told the dispatcher, after arriving on the scene and realizing that there wasn’t any crime being committed. He was off on the name by a generation but that’s fine. Eddie was an uncle to the Griswold children, Rusty and Audrey.
“Never a dull moment,” Shepherdsville Police Chief Rick McCubbin told WDRB.
The display was a recreation of the scene in “Christmas Vacation” when Eddie, played by Randy Quaid, dumps the contents of his motorhome’s bathroom into Clark Griswold’s storm drain. The Cousin Eddie display featured a mannequin wearing a trooper hat and robe, with a cigar in his mouth and beer in his hand. Just like in the film, Cousin Eddie is holding a hose with toxic contents pouring out.
The display also recreates the infamous scene where a cat gets electrocuted in a Christmas tree lighting accident.
The display was created by Joni Keeney who felt the Cousin Eddie character was relatable to most people. "Everybody has a Cousin Eddie, in their family, everybody," Keeney explained. "I just want people to have a good Christmas and get a laugh," she said. "It's been a hit with the neighborhood.”
Keeney even posed Eddie for a photo with a neighbor's Rottweiler, who looked a bit like his dog Snots.
Keeney’s Christmas display is super clever because it highlights a character that everyone knows and loves although they’re probably happy that he’s not their relative.
One of the most epic “Christmas Vacation”-themed homes is in La Mirada, California, outside Los Angeles. More than 30,000 people a year stop by the Norton residence to see an elaborately decorated home that’s a near-perfect recreation of the Griswold house.
And yes, it has a wonderful depiction of Cousin Eddie dumping the contents of his shi**er into the storm drain.
Just like the home in Shepherdsville, Kentucky, the display has been involved in legal activity. Last year, the City of La Mirada threatened the homeowners with fines for building an unpermitted fake second floor to more closely match the look of the Griswold home. However, after community backlash, the city backed down.
"They were worried about things happening at my house and pretty much we've got all that ironed out," the homeowner, Jeff Norton, told CBS.
As the saying goes, during the Christmas season you can either be a Griswold or you can be a Grinch. Cheers to the folks who are being Griswolds and celebrating the Christmas spirit by making the holiday as fun as possible. Tsk tsk to the people out there who being Grinchy by trying to take down Christmas decorations or worse, calling the police on them for having a little fun.