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Democracy

The four magic phrases to use when you’re stopped by the cops

Everyone should know their rights.

via Flex Your Rights/YouTube

How to speak to a police officer.

Whether it's a traffic stop that turns into "We smell something in your car" or a "driving while black" situation, you have rights when you're pulled over, and it's for the best if you actually use them.

So how does this work, anyway?

Well, you have rights when you're pulled over. These have been established via case law, and ultimately, some stem from the Constitution itself. In order, here are the magic phrases, along with some graphics to help you remember.

1. "Am I free to go?”

In any situation involving the police, you can ask this question. Some people ask it slightly differently: "Am I being detained?"—which is a version of the same question. Basically, if they've got nothing on you, they have to let you go. If they answer no to that question, you are in fact not free to go. In that case, you are suspected of doing something, and it's their job to try to get you to admit to it or to say a bit too much and incriminate yourself.

2. "I do not consent to any searches.”

One of the trickiest things that some law enforcement folks try is to talk you into letting them search your vehicle—or house, for that matter. "So if you haven't done anything, then you're ok with us searching your car … right? I mean, if you're innocent. We'll go easier on you if you let us." Do NOT give up your rights that easily. Are you certain your buddy didn't leave a bag of weed in the glove box? Are you sure your boyfriend took his target pistol out of the trunk after he went to practice shooting the other day? Are you absolutely certain that the body in your trunk was removed and buried in that farm fiel … whoops. Did I say that last one out loud?! The point is, don't give up your rights easily. And believe me, cops are gooooood at trying to play psychological games. Which leads to #3.

3. "I want to remain silent.”

You have that right, and if things start getting thick, you need to use it. "We clocked you going 60 in a 50, but when you opened your window to give us your license, we smelled marijuana." The correct answer to something like this is, "I want to remain silent." The temptation is to say, "Yeah, my buddy and I smoked in my car this morning but I wasn't driving, blah blah blah"—but then you're already nailed. Time for them to get the dogs and search. Congratulations, you're on your way to the pokey for the night.

4. "I want a lawyer.”

If you've reach this particular point, then you're in deep doodoo anyway, so go ahead and ask for one, and say nothing until he or she arrives. Remember these four things. It will be hard in the moment, with your adrenaline pumping, your freedom in question, and when you're possibly in physical danger, depending on the cops involved and your skin color.

"Am I free to go?"

"I do not consent to any searches."

"I want to remain silent."

"I want a lawyer."

Perhaps a word involving the first letter of the four statements will help you remember: FoSSiL (Free, Searches, Silent, Lawyer)

Or maybe a mnemonic:

— Fiscal Suns Scramble Lives

— Fresh Sushi Smell Lemons

— Flexible Straws Sell Lobsters

— Free Subjects Steam Lobsters

The clip below is a shortened version of a much longer one that explains your rights, detailing what you can and cannot do in these situations.

This article was written by Brandon Weber and originally appeared on 09.12.17

From Your Site Articles

police

Health

5 things I didn't want to hear when I was grieving and 1 thing that helped

Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.

In 2013, I found out I was pregnant with triplets.

Image via iStock.

My husband and I were in shock but thrilled at the news after dealing with infertility for years. And it didn't take long for the comments to begin. When people found out, the usual remarks followed: "Triplets?! What are you going to do? Three kids at once?! Glad it's not me!"

After mastering my response (and an evil look reserved for the rudest comments), I figured that was the worst of it. But little did I know I would be facing far worse comments after two of my triplets passed away.

On June 23, 2013, I gave birth to my triplets, more than four months premature.

My daughter, Abigail, passed away that same day; my son, Parker, died just shy of 2 months old. Before then, I didn't know much about child loss; it was uncharted territory. Like most people, I wouldn't know how to respond or what to say if a friend's child passed away.

Image via iStock.

But two years later, I have found that some things are better left unsaid. These comments come from a good place, and I know people mean well, but they sure do sting.

Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.

1. "Everything happens for a reason."

It's a cringeworthy comment for those of us who have lost a child. Sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason for why things happen in life. A parent should not outlive their child. I don't know why my body couldn't handle my pregnancy or why I went into labor at 22 weeks.

This phrase goes along with another I often hear: "God only gives us what we can handle." I remember talking with my childhood rabbi the night before my son passed away, and I asked her, "Why me?" Her response is something I now live by every single day. She said, "God doesn't give us only what we can handle. He helps us handle what we've been given."

2. "They are in a better place."

Instead of comforting, this is a phrase that makes me feel down in the dumps. I longed to be a parent for so many years. And children are meant to be in the loving arms of their parents.

I think I speak for every grieving mother and father when I say, we would give anything to hold our babies again.

3. "At least you have one survivor. Count your blessings."

I like to think of myself as a positive person. But even two years later, my heart still aches for Parker and Abby. And on the most difficult, dark days of grief, it's hard to "count my blessings."

Yes, I am blessed. I have a gorgeous miracle child who is the light of my life. But Peyton should be playing with her brother and sister in our home, not just waving to their pictures and blowing kisses to heaven.

4. "You are still young. You can have more children."

It doesn't matter whether or not our biological clock is ticking. Many people have no idea what couples go through to have a child: Some can't have children of their own; others may face years of infertility or miscarriages. And for people like me, trying for more children may be something too scary to even think about. I came close to death after delivering my children — that's enough to scar me for life.

5. "I don't know how you do it. I couldn't imagine losing two children."

Some days I don't know how I do it either. But we learn how to live with it. We learn a "new normal," and in those tough moments, we celebrate that we survived the day. This comment is a difficult reminder of our grief and the children who were sent to heaven.

So, what should you say to a grieving parent?

Image via iStock.

There are no words to take the pain away, of course, but simply letting that person know you are there for them is more than enough.

For me, the best thing someone can do is to talk about my angels. Say Parker and Abby by name, and don't be afraid to ask questions about them.

While they were only here for a short time, they left a huge imprint on this world. I love talking about my angels, and simply hearing someone else mention them by name is enough to wipe away the grief and warm my heart for days.

This article was written by Stacey Skrysak and originally appeared on 7.15.16

Pop Culture

A man in the crowd yelled 'Marry me!' Her response was not exactly what he hoped for.

'Does that work out well for you, sir?'

Justin Higuchi/Wikicommons

Lauren Mayberry performing with Chvrches at Hollywood Forever in Los Angeles, 2016

A fan of the Scottish synthpop band Chvrches got a bit more than he bargained for when he yelled to the stage.

"Marry me!" an unidentified man yelled out during a pause between songs.

"Pardon?" Chvrches singer Lauren Mayberry responded, prompting the man to shout out, "Marry me! Now!"

Mayberry told the guy off, which led to articles with titles like "Watch Chvrches' Lauren Mayberry Put Marriage Proposing Fan In His Place" and "CHVRCHES' Lauren Mayberry destroys heckler who asks her to marry him."

performance, crowds, hecklers, musicians

What it looks like to get told off from the stage.

GIFs from advancedfirefly.

But what's the big deal? It's not like he was serious. Well...

No, I sincerely doubt that the man in the crowd expected Mayberry to throw down her microphone and jump into his arms. Him saying "marry me" was probably more of a stand-in for "I like your music and respect you as a human being with boundaries!" (OK, maybe not that last bit.)

It's a little more complicated than that.

If you know a bit more about Chvrches' backstory, Mayberry's response makes a lot of sense.

Throughout the band's career, Mayberry has been outspoken against music industry sexism and online harassment.

In 2013, Mayberry posted a screenshot of a message sent to the band's Facebook page that read, "Could you pass this correspondence on to the cute singer, I think we'd make superior love together, and very much would like to take her to dinner." After responding, "No. That's disgusting," Mayberry was told it was a "very puritanical stance" to take.

Her response was simple: "Please stop sending us emails like this." In response, she received a slew of responses containing threats, twisted sexual fantasies, and general disregard for her existence as a human. That month, she penned an opinion piece for The Guardian, "I will not accept online misogyny.”

"But why should women 'deal' with this?"

Her post at The Guardian was a powerful rebuttal to anyone who has ever told her (or any female musician, for that matter) that she should just "deal with" harassment.

"I absolutely accept that in this industry there is comment and criticism. There will always be bad reviews: such is the nature of a free press and free speech. ... What I do not accept, however, is that it is all right for people to make comments ranging from 'a bit sexist but generally harmless' to openly sexually aggressive. That it is something that 'just happens.' Is the casual objectification of women so commonplace that we should all just suck it up, roll over and accept defeat? I hope not. Objectification, whatever its form, is not something anyone should have to 'just deal with.'"

Years later, the harassment continues. But Mayberry isn't giving up.

Earlier this year, Mayberry posted another screenshot of a message sent to one of the band's social media accounts on her personal Instagram page. The message, in which an anonymous voice from the Internet threatens to sexually assault Mayberry with a cheese grater, was posted alongside Mayberry's eloquent response.

"My band is lucky enough to have some of the most awesome, supportive and respectful fans in the world and we are so excited to be in the studio making an album to share with them. Yet, on a daily basis, we still receive communications like this. These people never learn that violence against women is unacceptable. But they also never learn that women will not be shamed and silenced and made to disappear. I am not going anywhere. So bring it on, motherfuckers. Let's see who blinks first."

So, in hindsight, maybe yelling "Marry me!" at Lauren Mayberry wasn't the best idea.

The man may have meant well, but combined with the sexualized messages from other fans and critics alike, it creates an atmosphere of uncomfortable, unwanted comments. It's a lot like street harassment: While the intention might have been to "compliment" someone, the effect can be something so completely different.

Watch Mayberry's showdown with the "Marry me" guy in the video below.

This article originally appeared on 10.05.15

From Your Site Articles

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Identity

Man's eye-opening story about taking 'a black walk' in a white neighborhood goes viral

"There is an art to making white people feel safe."

Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash

Though we're all part of the same species living on the same planet, our experience as humans walking through this world can differ widely. Children see things through a different lens than adults. Women and men have different perspectives on certain issues. And because racism has long been an active element in our society, people with varying amounts of melanin in their skin face specific challenges that others don't.

As a white American, I don't instinctively know what it's like to walk in a black person's shoes. I can tell you about the legacy of white supremacy laced throughout our country's history. I can explain the far-reaching effects of slavery, lynch mobs, Jim Crow laws, redlining, mass incarceration, and more. I can intellectually break down the psychological and sociological impact of centuries of race-based oppression.

But I can't tell you what it feels like to walk through this world, right now, as a black person—which is why it's so important to listen to the voices of people who can.

David Summers shared a story on Facebook that reflects the experience of many black Americans—one that can help us non-black folks see through a lens we simply do not and cannot have. Perhaps that's why it's been shared more than 20,000 times. From the fear that any object he carries might be mistaken as a gun to figuring out how to smile at a stranger just right so he won't be considered a threat, the "black thoughts" Summers describes during his walk through a beautiful, white neighborhood—presumably a neighborhood most of us would consider "safe"—are heartbreaking.

He wrote:

"I took a black walk this morning. I took a black walk through a white neighborhood. When I take black walks, I think black thoughts. I am conscious of where I've placed my gun, my gun, and my gun. I mean, my phone, my wallet, and my keys. Because Peace Officers have a hard time telling the difference. I rehearse what I'll say if a concerned resident, or a law enforcement employee has questions about why my black body is walking through their white space. And I remind myself to make sure the law enforcement employee has his body camera recording. Sometimes it helps if there is video evidence to accompany the hashtag.

There is no way to be stealthy when you take a black walk. White neighborhoods are blanketed by a sophisticated security system comprised of nosy neighbors, Ring doorbell cameras, and white women walking their dogs. So, I've learned to notice the white world through my periphery. To be aware of the dangers without acknowledging them. There is an art to making white people feel safe. To say 'Good Morning' and flash a smile that shows confidence and deference at the same time. To being polite because your life depends on it.

I felt the squad car behind me before I saw it.

It moved deliberately. Not like the other cars mindlessly whizzing past. Its tires inched. Crept. Stalked their way toward me.

I kept walking.

"Don't take your hands out of your pockets," I thought. Or wait, maybe I should? Maybe it's better if my hands are clearly empty. But it's cold outside…maybe it's nothing. Keep walking.

The car rolled past me and made a slow right turn. I glanced quickly but didn't stare. The air is still. My ears tuned out everything but the slight scuff of my sneakers on the sidewalk and the fading sound of those stalking tires.

Almost there.

Suddenly the squad car re-emerged. It was a block ahead of me. It made a quick right turn, continued to the end of the street, and then waited. No more stalking. This was a show of force. This was a roar. This was a reminder that I was trespassing.

I kept walking.

"Don't take your hands out of your pockets," I thought. Or wait, maybe I should? Maybe it's better if my hands are clearly empty. But it's cold outside…maybe it's nothing. Keep walking.

Almost there.

I kept walking.

As I approached the corner, the front window began to roll down. The occupant didn't speak. Didn't smile. Just stared. I was being warned.

I crossed the street and the lion trotted off. He had effectively marked his territory. The brave protector had done his job.

I however, couldn't help but wonder what I'd missed during my black walk. It's hard to hear the birds chirping, or to smile at the squirrels playfully darting along the branches when you're on a black walk. It's easy to miss the promise of a light blue sky, or appreciate the audacity of the red, yellow, and purple daisies declaring their independence from the green grass when your mind is preoccupied with black thoughts.

I took a walk through a beautiful neighborhood this morning. But I missed the whole thing."

Thank you, Mr. Summers, for sharing your "black walk" experience. Hopefully, it will prompt us all to ask ourselves whether our words and actions serve to reinforce or remedy what you've described.

This article originally appeared on 03.02.20

From Your Site Articles

racism

Joy

Jimmy Fallon asked his viewers why their high school was 'weird' and the responses were great

Here are 19 of our favorite responses.

via The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon/YouTube

Jimmy Fallon of the Tonight Show.

High schools are a perfect breeding ground for weirdness. First of all, you have a bunch of teenagers who are starting to deal with adult problems but they don’t have the experience or the brain development to figure out how to navigate complex feelings and relationships.

Then you add sex, drugs, learner’s permits, the stress of trying to get into college and really bad facial hair to the situation and you have all the ingredients for people and situations to go completely sideways.

Then there are the teachers. High school teachers tend to be a bit more eccentric than those in the younger grades because they are hired as specialists in a given field, such as history, math or science. Whereas teachers in younger grades have to be nurturing and have a more holistic approach to child development.

Also, hindsight makes a lot of things that seemed normal at the time begin to seem a bit strange. As we get older and have a firm grasp on the realities of being an adult, there are some things that we can’t believe we lived through as teenagers in high school.

When I was in high school we had a drama teacher that sat in the gym and chain-smoked while we rehearsed the play and we didn’t think anything of it. I’m pretty sure my home economics teacher hit the cooking sherry during lunchtime, and we got a day off from school due to the L.A. riots in 1992.

Everyone dealt with some amount of weirdness while they were in high school, so Jimmy Fallon asked his “Tonight Show” audience to share their stories with #MyHighSchoolWasWeird and he read some of his favorites on his show.

We took a look at the hashtag and picked some of the responses we liked the most. Here are 19 of them. Why was your high school weird? Tell us in the comments on Facebook.

It\u2019s\u00a0Hashtags\u00a0time! Tell us something weird or funny about your high school, and tag it with #MyHighSchoolWasWeird. Could be on the show!
— jimmy fallon (@jimmy fallon) 1643049328

1.

My chemistry teacher would give us an example a day of how to kill your mother in law with chemical compositions #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— Liisa Spink (@Liisa Spink) 1644342578

2.

We had a kid nicknamed Johnny Appleseed ( JohnA for short) who placed marijuana seeds in any available place they could grow. Our school had pot plants popping up so often they had to get rid of all the potted plants in classrooms and offices . #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— OldHippie (@OldHippie) 1643055449

3.

#MyHighSchoolWasWeird\nOne teacher\u2019s bathroom pass was an actual toilet seat that you had to carry with you to the restroom. pic.twitter.com/tesVLEpKe9
— Robin Smith (@Robin Smith) 1643063750

4.

My high school was across the street from a another high school #MyHighSchoolWasWeirdpic.twitter.com/iPXC7SQx7b
— Timmy Stotlar (@Timmy Stotlar) 1643056920

5.

This is the mascot at the high school i went to. \nPart anthropomorphic sugar beet part food processing machinery. \n\n#MyHighSchoolWasWeirdpic.twitter.com/2R42p5zCYu
— omicrust prime (@omicrust prime) 1643070771

6.

#MyHighSchoolWasWeird because we had free periods during the day where we would sleep or hang out in the halls.pic.twitter.com/UCYxZPz4Dv
— nikki\u2728 (@nikki\u2728) 1643061702

7.

#MyHighSchoolWasWeird because Grimace won every student vote by a landslide. If you weren\u2019t writing in Grimace on your ballots you were a narc. You\u2019d think Mayor McCheese would make more sense, being an actual politician, but I guess enough kids couldn\u2019t spell it or something.pic.twitter.com/N6CrLw4v7r
— Mike-o Neill (@Mike-o Neill) 1643060956

8.

The mascot was a literal mop #MyHighSchoolWasWeirdpic.twitter.com/ypvheLGnZ2
— Courtney (@Courtney) 1643089724

9.

One time a swim meet was canceled at my friend's high school because the pool “caught on fire.” Still have no idea how that’s possible. #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) January 24, 2022

10.

My high school had the mayonnaise bandit who would put mayo on the under side of the stair railings from the cafeteria making them useless or risk getting a handful of slimy mayonnaise on your way to class #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— Rachel Lambert (@rlambert1201) January 24, 2022

11.

My high School was called Start. The student motto for it was Start High Stay High#MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— Kelly Reads (@ReaderofBook) January 24, 2022

12.

I graduated from North Pole High School in Alaska. We had to answer letters to Santa for an English grade. #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— Nancy J. (@LifeboatSinger) January 24, 2022

13.

My Junior year of high school there was a competition for one of the teachers to kiss a cow. Of course the most disliked teacher ended up kissing the cow. #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— Edward Schmidt II (@edwardschmidtii) January 24, 2022

14.

There was this kid that would run around during highschool and hiss at people. He was really smart but he would just randomly hiss lol #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— The Zelda Corner (@ZeldaCorner) January 24, 2022

15.

Got a new principal in my senior year who decided to enforce the dress code with bright orange “Dress Code Violator” t-shirts. They became badges of honor instead of the intended punishment… 🤦‍♀️ #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— Kelsey K 켈시 (@krklemm) January 24, 2022

16.

Our cafeteria’s chicken fries were such a rare and glorious experience, once people GRADUATED, they would still come back to buy them. #myhighschoolwasweird
— EmmyAnn (@EmmyAnn412) January 24, 2022

17.

#MyHighSchoolWasWeird because we had a bring your tractor to school day, those who brought one in got to skip all classes and just talk with others about their tractors. It always causes traffic delays because there was one main road into the school.
— Mary Olmsted (@MaryOlmsted13) January 25, 2022

18.

My science teacher was convicted of a double murder during summer break. I wish I was kidding!
— Mike Bennett (@MikeBennett11) January 24, 2022

19.

Weird Al graduated from my high school. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Suge Knight also graduated from my high school. #MyHighSchoolWasWeird
— Cindy Price (@Cinderella1976) January 24, 2022

If you look back at how you acted, dressed and behaved in high school and have a little bit of shame, that’s probably a good thing. If you cringe a little when you think about your former self, that shows that you’ve grown as a person.

But wouldn’t it be great if you could go back to high school knowing what you know now? How much easier would it be to approach that special person you wanted to ask to the dance but couldn’t muster up the courage? How much more would you appreciate those carefree days when all you had to worry about was a bio test or who had a crush on whom in homeroom?

Personally, if I went back to high school I’d have a lot more appreciation for my teachers knowing just how hard of a job they have. Now that I’m an adult I have a lot more sympathy for what we put them through and I can totally understand why teaching at a high school can turn someone a little weird.

Here's Jimmy Fallon reading off some of his responses to #MyHighSchoolWasWeird.

This article originally appeared on 02.09.22

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Family

Boomer dad plays song to comfort his daughter going through divorce and it's simply perfect

Sometimes you don't need words.

@jac.rsoe8/TikTok

Some dads just get it.

There’s no shortage of stories out there showing how emotionally distant or out of touch some baby boomers can be. Younger generations are so fed up with it that they have their own catchphrase of frustration, for crying out loud.

The disconnect becomes especially visible in parenting styles. Boomers, who grew up with starkly different views on empathy, trauma and seeking help, have a reputation for being less than ideal support systems for their children when it comes to emotional issues.

But even if they often have a different way of showing it, boomer parents do have love for their children, and many try their best to be a source of comfort in some way when their kid suffers.

Occupational therapist Jacqueline (@jac.rose8) recently shared a lovely example of this by posting a video of her boomer dad helping her through a divorce in the best way he knew how.

Turns out, it was the perfect thing.

“My husband just said he’s divorcing me and my dad came over and I was non-functional in bed,” Jacqueline wrote her video, adding that “...boomer dad didn’t know what to do, so he played his favorite song, the Dua Lipa ‘Rocket Man’ remix 😂”

In the clip, Jacqueline’s dad never really looks at her, but shifts the focus by describing what he imagines while listening to the song and performing the sweetest dad dance ever.

Watch:

@jac.rose8 #divorcetok #divorcesucks #divorcesupport #divorcesupportforwomen #divorcesupportsquad #supportivedad #disabilitytiktok ♬ original sound - Jacqueline

The heartwarming moment served as a great reminder that words aren’t always necessary.

‘“I am CRYING. This is so precious, he is trying his hardest to be there for you in any capacity. How pure ❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “This would instantly make me feel better.”

Even Jacqueline shared in the comments that her dad “didn’t know what to say but he was there and helped me in such a sweet way. He’s the best 🥰”

Proving that he has multiple love languages, Jacqueline later shared that her dad also went out to Home Depot to replace her lightbulbs. Not only that, but her mom also made Jacqueline’s favorite dinner. Maybe boomers are okay after all.

Really, it goes to show that great parents can be found in every generation. Part of what makes them great is knowing that they don't need to be perfect in order to show up when things are hard. Being there and sharing their love is enough.

This article originally appeared on 6.12.23

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Pop Culture

People are loving Drew Barrymore's live reaction to her first perimenopause hot flash

“I don’t know that I have ever heard a celebrity talk about a hot flash in the moment. Thank you for being so real."

The Drew Barrymore Show/Youtube

Drew Barrymore getting a quick assist from Jennifer Aniston

It feels safe to say that many, if not most people hail Drew Barrymore as the “Queen of Candid.” She can seemingly talk to absolutely anyone about anything in a way that’s consistently warm and authentic.

That even goes for when she experiences her first hot flash in front of a live television audience, apparently.

While speaking with guests Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler on her talk show, Barrymore abruptly appears flustered, fanning herself and removing her jacket.

Without missing a beat, she says, “I am so hot, I think I'm having my first perimenopause hot flashes.”

“Oh, I feel so honored!” Jennifer Aniston quips as she fixes Barrymore’s mic, which is a sweet moment in and of itself.

“I’m so sorry!” Barrymore continues, laughing through it all. “Do you feel this?!” she says, placing Aniston’s hand just below her neck. “Or maybe I’m just excited!”

@drewbarrymore I either had my first perimenopause hot flash or got really exciting! Maybe both? @thedrewbarrymoreshow ♬ original sound - Drew Barrymore

Sandler, then reaching for Barrymore’s palm, assures her, “Yeah you got a hot hand.”

“Well, I’m so glad I have this moment documented!” Barrymore exclaims.

One viewer on TikTok gushed, “I don’t know that I have ever heard a celebrity talk about a hot flash in the moment. Thank you for being so real.”

Another echoed, “Drew, we have a whole generation (X) entering the change. Let’s normalize it. Just wait until you’re soaked with sweat, then cold lol.”

One person commented on the exchange between Aniston and Barrymore, noting how refreshing it was to see two “beautiful, authentic, powerful women my own age to look up to.”

Only a week prior, Barrymore had again been an unofficial spokeswoman for perimenopause when she sat down with Gayle King of “CBS Mornings” to share more of her personal experiences, including having a period “every two weeks.”

"One doctor also just told me this could last, in the worst-case scenario, 10 years. And I was like, ‘I will never make it 10 years like this!’" she told King.

@cbsmornings How did Drew Barrymore know she was in perimenopause? She tells Gayle King and Nikki Battiste one of the main symptoms she experienced. Watch their full conversation tomorrow on #CBSMornings. #drewbarrymore #gayleking #menopause #perimenopause #fertility #health ♬ original sound - CBS Mornings

Considering that every woman who lives past their 40s will probably go through at least some version of this—even earlier, for some—one would think that there should be more conversations about this pivotal life chapter. Maybe then it wouldn’t be so daunting.

Or at the very least, there might be less stigma around it. As Barrymore eloquently put it in her interview, “The way menopause has been branded is, 'You're old, you're done.' That's not it." Instead, she feels that in reality, "more women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are looking so attractive, feeling so vibrant, living their best lives.”

Imagine that—life getting better as you grow older. What a radical thought.

This article originally appeared on 3.30.23

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