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Mom shares how being actively parented as a full-grown adult makes all the difference

“I think this is what people mean when they say ‘It takes a village.’”

@hannahwiththelipstick/Instagram (used with permission)

We need our parents after we leave the nest, just in different ways.

When we think of "parenting" we usually think of the years from birth to college age, when kids become legal adults and many start fleeing the nest. It's not like there's a magic switch that gets flipped at 18 that suddenly makes kids not need their parents anymore, but the young adult years are a time when people grow into their independence, taking on the responsibilities and challenges of adulthood gradually but surely.

But what happens after that? Once kids are grown and flown, what role to parents play? They're not rulemakers or final authorities anymore, and they certainly aren't having to make sure basic needs are being met, but that doesn't mean their parenting years are over.

A video from a mom named Hannah shows what supportie, active parenting looks like with fully adult children, and it's a beautiful example of the way parent-child relationships ideally shift over time.

"My parents could write a manual on how to practically love your adult children," wrote Hannah Cases of @hannahwiththelipstick. "I was feeling overwhelmed and this was their response."

As she sits outside with a blanket around her shoulders and a warm mug in her hand, Hannah's parents are shown playing with her child, cooking some soup, organizing and cleaning and otherwise taking some of the load off her shoulders.

"Your adult children still need you," she wrote.

@hannahwiththelipstick

I think this is what people mean when they say “it takes a village”. 🤍 If your kids are all grown up just remember, they still need you. We might say “I’m fine” or struggle to ask for what we need but the truth is everyone needs help sometimes and the support of loving parents / grandparents has the power to change everything. My parents are a constant reminder of what it looks like to practically love the people around you and put action behind the words “I love you”. I love differently because of having parents like them and living three minutes away from each other has been the biggest blessing. I know a lot of people don’t have parents who are able to help or the relationship might be strained but blood isn’t what makes someone family and I encourage you to seek out a village and remember that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. 🫶🏻 #ittakesavillage #myvillage #familyiseverything #ittakesavillagetoraiseachild #grandparentgoals #parentgoals #loveyouradultchildren #grandparentslove #parentslove


In the caption of the video, she expanded her thoughts:

"I think this is what people mean when they say 'it takes a village.' 🤍 If your kids are all grown up just remember, they still need you. We might say 'I’m fine' or struggle to ask for what we need but the truth is everyone needs help sometimes and the support of loving parents / grandparents has the power to change everything. My parents are a constant reminder of what it looks like to practically love the people around you and put action behind the words 'I love you.' I love differently because of having parents like them and living three minutes away from each other has been the biggest blessing. I know a lot of people don’t have parents who are able to help or the relationship might be strained but blood isn’t what makes someone family and I encourage you to seek out a village and remember that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. 🫶🏻"

It's true that not everyone has parents or a relationship with their parents that would give them this kind of support, but that doesn't mean people aren't desperate for it.

"Honestly seeing this inspires me to be this parent… I pray one day I can create a space this loving for my daughter. I wish every family had this. The world would be such a better, more healthy place."

"Such a gift. I wish we all had parents like this. 🥺"

"100000000x this!!!
Arguably we need you more than ever, now!
We crave independence when we are young, and family/support as we grow our own. ❤️❤️❤️❤️"

"I really wish my mother was capable of this kind of love and support, but unfortunately many of us don’t have this… count yourself blessed if you do!! ❤️"

"You are very blessed to have them ❤️ myself and my husband’s parents don’t ever come around for us or our 2 kiddos and it’s very sad. We have no village except our good friends."

"All I get when I tell my mom I’m struggling is ‘I remember those days.’ Happy for people who have this support but also jealous 😅 But someday I will be there for my grown kids with whatever they need."

"I hope I get the opportunity to show up for my adult babies and their babies like this someday."

"My parents are like this and I’m SO thankful. My mom showed up Monday with a coffee for me. Today both kids have swim class. My dad tags along, and every Wednesday he brings us breakfast. Little things like that, that just make it a little easier on me. My parents live 6 minutes away and I tell them all the time I couldn’t do it without them!"

"We live 15 away from my in-laws. Once a week, my Mother-in-law does one on one time with my two kids. Since the kiddos will nap during the time it’s not their turn with their mimi, it really ends up being such a wonderful break for me. It really does take a village!"

"I tell my parents all the time that I still need my mommy and daddy lol it sounds silly, but it’s so true! I’m so thankful they live one street over and are always available at the drop of a hat! ❤️"

Though it's sad to see in the comments how many people don't have this kind of support, it's also a good reminder to be there for one another when and how we can be. There's no substitute for loving and supportive parents, but any friend or family member who has the time and inclination can help fill that role when they see there's a need.

It's always good to see positive examples of healthy relationships, both to know what's possible and to inspire us to be the people—the village—we want someone to be for us.

You can follow Hannah Cases on Instagram and TikTok.

parenting
Joy

Babysitting grandpa going viral with his constant texts to vacationing daughter

"Hi, how do I toast!"

Molly Madfis TikTok screenshots

Babysitting grandpa has the internet in stitches.

Good grandparents really are an important asset to young families just starting out. They can show you the ropes of parenthood, help entertain their grandkids, and probably most importantly, they know when you need a break because you're their baby and they can always tell when something's up with their child.

But sometimes, grandparents can be a little...uh...needy, even when they're the best grandparents in every other aspect. Technology has changed so much over the decades since they were raising children, and sometimes they need a little extra help with things that might seem simple. Soon-to-be mom of two, Molly Madfis, took to TikTok to share what happened when her 75-year-old dad, John, was babysitting her 5-year-old, Arlo, for a few days while she was on a "babymoon" with her husband.

In the viral TikTok, Madfis is seen with her husband with a text overlay that reads, "how to have a relaxing babymoon—don't ask your dad to babysit." Before you think Madfis is being mean to her sweet dad, you can clearly see through the text exchange that they love each other very much and her post seems to be in good fun.

"Arlo worships my dad, but I was a little nervous about leaving them alone together. My dad is pretty co-dependent—like, he’ll go to CVS and then call me eight times with different questions,” Madfis told Today.com.

The text exchanges that Madfis shared are pretty adorable, though I'm sure receiving them while you're trying to relax may have taken the cute factor down a notch. But let's be completely honest—do we think a nervous mom would've relaxed had grandpa not been sending random texts that let you know things are still going well? Probably not.

In the short clip, you see the door cam video that shows John, whom Arlo lovingly calls "Poppy," leaving to take the little guy to school without his backpack...and 30 minutes late. Then comes the text, "Hi, how do you toast," which John sent along with a picture of the options shown on the machine. Clearly, or at least clearly to his daughter and viewers, there was a picture of a piece of bread indicating the toasting option. When Madfis explained where the bread icon was located, there was still confusion, but he made it work.

"The one that looks like pizza worked," the grandpa replied.

@almostmakesperfect

never again #fyp

The texts continue to get more comical as they go on. At one point, he asked if he should refrigerate the leftover pizza, complete with a photo of a half-empty pizza box. But the kicker was when Madfis asked for a picture of her child. John's response was a classic dad move: "Why? You already know what he looks like."

The comment section was filled with people relating and laughing at the video.

"I asked my FIL [father-in-law] for a pic of my baby so he sent me the pic that I sent him of her last week," one mom commented.

"Love how he didn't mind sending you pictures of the toaster and pizza but was confused on why you wanted one of the kid," another person wrote, complete with a crying laughing emoji.

Others commented that the little boy probably had the best week of his life with his Poppy. Listen, even people who take their kids to school every day forget backpacks sometimes, so we can cut grandpa some slack there. As for the rest of it—keep being you, Poppy. Memories are certainly being made.


This article originally appeared on 3.17.23

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Family

Dad wonders if he's wrong for telling Grandma she can't have a 'stupid' nickname

Not everyone wants to be called "Grandma" and "Grandpa." But is this nickname too much?

Photo credit: Canva

Some grandparent nicknames are cute. Some…not so much.

Lots of grandparents feel like the names “grandma” and “grandpa” feel too old, and vote for younger, hipper nicknames. But we all know this can sometimes venture too far into overly cutesy territory.

Such was the case for one dad who found out that instead of “Grandma,” his mom wanted to be called “Glammy” by her soon-to-be grandkid.

Frustrated, he took to Reddit for advice on how to handle the situation.

“My mother is the type of woman who hates the idea of getting old,” he wrote, saying, “She tries to hide it in any way she possibly can.”

That includes coming up with alternative nicknames, which the dad at first thought was funny, but since then has “learned that she’s completely serious.” And when he’s tried to put his foot down by saying he won’t allow it, his mother gets mad at him.

“The most recent name she has come up with is Glammy because she saw a post that says ‘when you’re a grandma but you’re young and hip you get called Glammy,’” he continued, admitting that was that the only one he liked since he knew his kids would likely just end up saying “Gammy” or “Grammy,” which he found acceptable.


AITA for telling my Mother that I will not allow my Child to call her any name except Grandma?
byu/Olivers-Thoughts inAITAH


“But some of the names she wants are FiFi, Lolli (like lollipop), Bibi, Lola, Ari…” he lamented. “To me, these names are just stupid… I’m perfectly fine with names that are somewhat normal but for some reason I can’t get the image of my child telling someone that their ‘FiFi is picking her up’ and she just gets laughed at cause it’s a stupid name. We’ve all tried to give my mom name suggestions but are shot down every time and told that we are taking this experience away from her. What do y’all think?”

Down in the comments, people lighthearted told the man that this was a non-issue, however aggravating it is right now.

For one thing, people joked that neither him nor his mom would actually have a say in the matter. That power would belong to the kid.

“You think you get to decide that? You don’t. My son calls my mother Poppy. He calls his uncle ‘Achoo.’ Kids will do what they will,” one person wrote.

Other’s pointed out that all roads eventually lead to “Grandma”. As one person put it, “In my experience whatever name she picks or insists on would eventually become Grandma [Name] anyway. She wants to be called Fifi? Congrats, she’s now Grandma Fifi.”

Quite a few chimed in, with hard evidence, that there are nicknames far, far worse than “Glammy.”

“Do you think you have it bad? My stepmother wanted to be addressed as ‘grandpa Joe’s young wife, Susie’ L O L.”

“I called my favorite grandma Grandma Pup Pup. Pup Pup was my dog that lived with her. I was 2 and couldn't say 'puppy'. It stuck.”

“I am Guaca because my granddaughter couldn’t say Grandma☺️”

“lol our (step)granddaughter calls my husband papa duck. It came about from her first calling him Donald Duck (due to his name), and evolved into Papa after her lil sis was born. She calls me Superwoman 😂 She was 4 at the time.”

The OP would later write that “when I don’t push this issue with my mom it turns into her saying things that I have to do and I cannot do,” which alludes to a more complex power struggle, rather than simply a name pet peeve. But regardless, hopefully he (and everyone else dealing with grandparent name woes) can be put a little more at ease knowing that this doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Just another case of pick your battles.

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Humor

Grandpa has the cutest 'fit check' that went viral online

'This is my new favorite video ever.'

Grace Pettit/TikTok

Grandpa has the cutest "fit check," which went viral online.

"Fit check" is something you've probably heard multiple times if you've spent any amount of time on social media over the past year. It's something like the red carpet question of "who are you wearing?" which prompts the celebrity to rattle off their designer labels for the night. Except now it's a trend for regular folks to share info about their outfits.

It's pretty helpful if you see an influencer wearing something cute. But this grandpa has got to have the sweetest "fit check" ever and people on social media agree. Liam Ryan , who's 86, made a guest appearance in his granddaughter's TikTok, where 24-year-old Grace Pettit coaches her gramps through the process.

The video is filled with giggles from Pettit as her grandpa tries to make sure he hits all his articles of clothing. The people need to know where Gramps got his fit. When the video starts, Ryan stands in front of the camera and says, "Hi, I'm Gramps. We're doing a fit check."

Turns out, if we want to find an outfit as cool as Ryan's we have to wait for the perfect gift. After the intro, Ryan gives us the details we've been waiting for: "My jeans are a Christmas gift. My shirt is a Christmas gift. My sweater, my brother gave me. And my sneakers…" he trailed off before Pettit jumped in to assist. After she held him steady so he could show off his shoes, Pettit did her own quick fit check. The interaction is warming commenters' hearts.

One person wrote, "He is the cutest thing in the entire world."

Another commenter wrote, "Gramps is easily the coolest person I've ever seen on this app."

"I hope when I'm old, my grandkids love me like this. This is so sweet," another user wrote.

Clearly the internet has adopted a new grandpa, and he just happens to have the coolest outfit. Pettit captioned the video, "This is my new favorite video ever."

Watch the adorable video below:

@pettitgrace

This is my new favorite video ever.

This article originally appeared on 1.4.23

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