One of the biggest differences between being a cat owner and a dog owner is that cats are experts at grooming themselves. While dogs require regular bathing, cats don't—in fact, it's generally recommended that you don't bathe kitties for non-medical reasons because it can dry out their skin and disrupt the cat-owner relationship.
(For real, if you didn't know this about cats, barring any health issues, they are meticulously clean and their fur actually smells good, even up close. Some cats have a mild cologne-like scent that's quite pleasing, and they do it all by themselves.)
However, occasionally something might happen that requires a human to bathe a cat. When it does, it's an adventure, as Jennifer Garner hilariously demonstrated in a video on her Instagram page for National Pet Day.
It seems that her cat, Moose, had a bit of a poo issue, which Garner doesn't elaborate much on but that required some assistance to remedy. That assistance involved a bath—or sink shower in this case—which many cats aren't too keen on. Despite the viral videos showing cats who mysteriously love the bathtub, most domesticated cats don't, and they will let you know it in the only way they know how.
For Moose, that message was sent by climbing out of the sink and onto his owner mid-scrub, creating a scenario that left Garner asking aloud, "What's to be done? What would my mom do?!?"
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The helplessness of having a cat clinging to you for dear life is real. You don't want to pull them off because they'll just dig their claws in further, and when they climb up over your shoulder, you don't have any leverage to do anything with them anyway. It's definitely not a one-person job to try to bathe a cat who doesn't want to be bathed.
According to Britannica, most domesticated cats hate water because wet fur is uncomfortable and it takes a long time to dry. There's also the totally not-backed-by-science possibility that cats simply find the prospect of being bathed offensive. After all, they spend a large chunk of their waking hours cleaning themselves—how dare we measly humans suggest they aren't doing a good enough job of it?
Along with encouraging her to get her wounds cleaned and treated well, as cat scratches can be dangerous, people weighed in on the video with some hilarious commentary.
"I'm pretty sure Moose would have killed you if you'd gotten to the conditioner," wrote one person.
"I think the conditioner would have tipped Moose over the edge," agreed another.
"That cat went straight for the carotid. Much like my toddler when I suggested she put pants on this morning," joked another.
"You are so brave! Also, this was a tad reminiscent of Buddy the Elf trying to hug that raccoon, 😂" offered another.
All in all, Moose's bath could have gone worse. There are actually some ways to make a cat bath a bit more pleasant—and safe—for everyone involved. The ASPCA recommends these five steps for bathing a cat:
1. Prep Your Cat – If you're wondering how to keep a cat calm while bathing, it can be helpful first to get your cat used to being in the sink or tub—try putting them in without water, giving them a few treats, and then lifting them out. If possible, you can do this several times in the days before you plan to give your cat a bath to help things go smoother.
2. Add Cat to Water – Put a few inches of lukewarm water in the sink or tub and place your cat gently inside. Keep your cat calm by talking soothingly and praising them for good behavior. (I know, easier said than done!)
3. Wet Your Cat Down – Wet your cat's body and tail while avoiding the face. Most cats don't like water in their face, and you'll definitely want to avoid upsetting your soaked kitty.
4. Lather and Rinse – Add the shampoo, lather, and rinse your cat thoroughly. Try not to leave any soap residue behind, which can irritate your cat's skin.
5. Clean the Face – Use the soft cloth to wipe off your cat's whiskered face carefully. You can also clean the outside of the ears with a cotton ball. Never use a Q-tip or other instrument to clean the inside of your cat's ears, which could cause injury.
Garner's poopy bath adventures with Moose is prime evidence that cat ownership is never boring. You can follow Jennifer Garner for more relatable cat mom fun on Instagram.
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