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JPMorgan offered return-to-office perks that are remarkably similar to the show 'Severance'

The only thing missing was a "music dance experience."

severance, linkedin, jp morgan, return to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobs

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Adam Scott and Tramell Tillman in Severance

While remote work has been a mainstay since the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, more and more companies are attempting to mandate that employees return to the office, on a full or part-time basis, including one now-infamous effort from JPMorgan Chase. The company announced that as of March 2025, all employees were required to return to the office five days per week. Their CEO even ditched the policy that allowed employees to work-from-home two days per week.

To mark the occasion, welcome everyone back ( and perhaps twist the knife a bit deeper?) the United State's largest bank unveiled a plan for a massive $3 billion, 2.5 millions square foot tower on New York's famous Park Avenue—which would house 14,000 workers and feature state of the art architecture and technology—in addition to loading up its new corporate headquarters with perks to help employees transition back to office life.

Some of these "perks" were truly great and truly enticing. Others were... questionable, to say the least.

Grace Tallon on LinkedIn even noticed that some of the benefits of working in the JPMorgan Office seemed like they were yanked right out of one of the most popular current TV shows on the planet: Severance.

If you don't know it, Severance is a psychological thriller on Apple TV that doubles as a dark and biting satire of corporate office culture and capitalism. Employees at a mysterious company called Lumon are "severed" — meaning their brains, memories, and personalities are literally split in half. While at work, they are a different person and retain no memories when they leave the office every night. In return for their sacrifice and for hitting key milestones, the employees receive ludicrous rewards like short dance parties with their boss, melon parties with carved watermelons, and handfuls of balloons. Employees are also expected to marvel at bizarre pieces of art that line the hall, featuring stoic images of Lumon's revered (and more than a bit creepy) founders.

Conversely, JPMorgan's new tower boasted 19-restaurants with at-your-desk delivery, an Irish pub, and on-site physical therapy and yoga. But that's not all!

Tallon notes, however, that JPMorgan also tried to entice employees with things like "personalized climate" in rooms and offices, a "signature scent" that wafts through the halls and somehow reinforced the brand, and, get this, even a "corporate art collection" that celebrates the company's history and values. Be more on the nose next time, will you JPMorgan? That's to say nothing of design elements that support worker's circadian rhythms and coffee machines that learn your favorites over time.

"Let’s stop pretending this is about connecting and doing better work," she writes.

Read Tallon's full post below on the striking similarities:

Commenters agreed that the perks came off more than a little tone deaf.

While some folks defended the corporation for doing their best to make employees feel cared for and taken care of, others didn't quite see it that way, especially when they compared it to the perks of WFH life.

"The climate in my own home office is just right. Along with my own coffee, artwork, lighting (window wide open), and other perks and it cost me zero dollars to drive there and I don't have to wear shoes! Way out of touch," wrote Alix Z.

"Those perks sound more like a high-tech museum experience than actual employee benefits. Instead of a 'signature scent,' how about giving employees real reasons to feel good about coming to work?" said Diana Alayon.

severance, linkedin, jp morgan, return to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobs Some at-home perk simply can't be beat. Photo credit: Canva

"Working at home perks: My own candle collection, curated to suit my preferences, Coffee and tea on tap, from our favourite brands, Comfortable cushions and blankets to help regulate my temperature at my desk, A variety of lighting options, ranging from warm white lamps to 'the big light', Freedom to work anywhere I want, such as my office desk, sofa, kitchen table or a coffee shop near by, Personalised art with photos of family and pictures we enjoy, Working space decorated to my own specifications, Plenty of spaces nearby for fresh air and dog walks" wrote Eloise Todd in a mic-drop comment.

There are of course benefits to working together in-person with your colleagues. And sure, if you're required to be there, nothing offsets discomfort quite like delicious lunches and free yoga classes. But to take away even the option of occasionally working from home and duct-taping over it with an algorithm that tracks coffee orders and temperature preferences, and filling the halls with strange paintings that move when employees walk by? It kind of loses the thread, and it's exactly the kind of thinking that the creators of Severance are so good at skewering.

severance, linkedin, jp morgan, retseverance, linkedin, jp morgan, return to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobsurn to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobs Mark (Adam Scott) at the infamous dance party scene in Severance. media0.giphy.com

According to Forbes, there are 6 distinct reason companies might push for a return to the office. One, corporate heads believe employees get more "immersed in the company’s values." Two, they think it's easier to monitor whether or not an employee is actually working. Three, to justify the cot of that expensive office space. Four, to foster "spontaneous collaboration." Five, to give new employees a chance to observe and interact with more seasoned worker. and six, to restore a sense of belonging within the company.

But of course, none of these things have anything to do with what people really want: Autonomy. That, in addition to fair pay, some level of flexibility, and good benefits. Perks are nice — even the kind of weird ones — but they can only go so far. It remains to be seen if companies that dictate back-to-the-office edicts are willing to follow through on the things that really matter. Please note how waffle parties did not make that list.

This article originally appeared in February

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Culture

Passenger on 274-day cruise is surprised to learn the one word you can't say on the ship

"It's like saying 'Macbeth' in a theater."

via Mattew Barra/Pexels

There's one word you can't say on a cruise ship.

There are some things you just don't say. You don't yell out "bomb!" on an airplane, make jokes about carrying weapons while going through security, or, as Michael Scott from The Office knows, loudly proclaim that a boat you're currently on is sinking.

Those are all pretty obvious examples, but sometimes etiquette and decorum are a little more subtle. If you're not experienced in the ways of the venue you're in, you might not know all the unspoken rules. And you might find out the hard way. Cruise ships, for example, have their own very specific set of rules and regulations that guests should abide by.

On December 10, 2023, Royal Caribbean’s Serenade of the Seas set sail on the Ultimate World Cruise—a 274-day global trek that visits 11 world wonders and over 60 countries.

cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean 9 months is a very long time to be aboard a boat, even a giant cruise ship. Photo by Peter Hansen on Unsplash

This incredible trip covered the Americas, Asia Pacific, Middle East, Mediterranean and Europe with a ticket price that ranges from $53,999 to $117,599 per passenger.

With such a unique and incredible offering, it's understandable that Royal Caribbean wanted to invite plenty of influencers to help them get the word out.

Aboard the Serenade to the Seas was popular TikToker Marc Sebastian, who documented his experience throughout the journey. In one video with over 4.3 million views, he revealed what he’s learned over his first few weeks aboard the ship; the biggest was the one word you’re not allowed to say.

"So here's [what] I've learned about cruising since I've spent 18 nights on this floating retirement home with a Cheesecake Factory attached. First, number one, you're not supposed to talk about the Titanic," he says in the clip.

Titanic! It's the ultimate taboo when you're on a giant ship traversing the ocean. Even after all these years, it's still too soon to make even lighthearted comparisons or jokes.

@marcsebastianf
someone get whoopi on the line girl i have some goss for her #ultimateworldcruise #worldcruise #serenadeoftheseas #cruisetok #cruise #9monthcruise #titanic

“Who knew that? I didn’t,” Sebastian said. “I brought it up to an entire room of people having lunch that our ship is only 100 feet longer than the Titanic — when I tell you that utensils dropped. Waiters gasped. It’s dead silent.”

Sebastian was flabbergasted. "It wasn't in the... handbook," he joked. "Not that I read the handbook, clearly."

After the unexpected reaction, his cruise friend told him, “You’re not allowed to talk about the Titanic.” It makes sense.

Who wants to be reminded of the tragedy that killed around 1,500 people while sinking one of the most impressive engineering feats of the era? More experienced cruisers chimed in that they were familiar with the unique piece of etiquette.

cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean Pro tip: Don't ask the band on board to play "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion Giphy

"When I went on a cruise, my mom told me saying Titanic was equivalent to screaming ‘bomb’ at an airport," Mikayla wrote in the comments.

"It’s like saying Macbeth in a theatre, it’s an unspoken rule" another commenter added.

"I’m sorry you’re telling me you had a Harry Potter like experience saying Voldemort at Hogwarts but it was the titanic on a modern day cruise I’m cryingggg" joked another.

Later in the video covering little known cruise facts, Sebastian admits he was surprised to learn that cruise ships have godmothers and that the pools are filled with seawater.

In an update from June of 2024, Sebastian explains that he only stayed on the cruise for 18 nights. He was not booked to stay throughout the entire voyage, and for him, that was a relief.

He initially jokes that he was kicked off the boat for saving a penguin that had jumped aboard. But in the end, he admits he was more than happy to deboard early.

"I walked off that ship not a happy man," he said, saying the ship was overstimulating and stressful. In another video, he films as the ship navigates the Drake Passage, one of the most notoriously dangerous and choppy stretches of water in the world. It looks stressful indeed, to say the least.

Cruising isn't for everyone, let alone for 274 days straight! But now Sebastian knows the golden rule for his next cruise.

This story originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Joy

17 people share their 'weirdest' life hacks that may sound strange, but they totally work

"I cut pizza with scissors."

via Sara/Flickr, Margaret Stranks/Flickr, and Canva

Cutting pizza with scissors, sending a work email, and cutting your nails.

Everyone has their favorite life hacks, whether it's putting their sponge in the dishwasher, using frozen grapes to chill drinks, or pouring the creamer in your coffee first (so you don’t have to stir). But what about the things people do that are highly effective, that may sound a little weird, so they keep them to themselves?

There have been a lot of posts across social media about life hacks—we’ve done plenty here at Upworthy—so it seems that the only ones we haven’t heard of are those that are off the beaten path. Maybe they're a little strange, so people have kept them to themselves for fear of being called out. Well, now it’s time for them to see the light of day.

A Reddit user named CasualConversation asked people to open up and share their unusual hacks and received over 600 responses. “I want to hear any life hacks that would get you judged by other people or would get you dirty looks, but you swear they work. Any life hack can be included—not topic related, just any form,” they wrote, adding: “I cut pizza with scissors.” This led to a great list of unorthodox hacks that commenters swear by because they “genuinely work.”

Here are 17 ‘weird life hacks that people swear by

1. Don't send emails after 2 pm

"In an office setting, conducting business by work email, often processes come to a head at the end of the day and require input from someone else to move forward. At the end of the day, no one checks email anymore, and they certainly don't ACT on them right away. The next day brings new challenges, and my email goes unanswered for days. After 2pm, I set those emails to send the next day 10 minutes after the start of working hours. People are primed to check off a task someone is presently waiting for, so they nail it because they are just settling in to their desk, and they think I am on the other end waiting for a response."

2. Wipe your bathroom

"Wiping the bathroom down for thirty seconds once a day pretty much keeps it clean, even if you start with an absolutely filthy bathroom. It will slowly get cleaner and cleaner and then stay there, and much more quickly than you would expect."
"I keep Lysol wipes out in the open for this reason. Makes a quick cleaning a breeze."

3. 'Key' to remembering

"If I have to take something to work that won't fit in my purse, I'll put my keys with that item (and yes, even if it's in the fridge, lol). So when I go to leave and look for my keys, I'll remember."

"I do something similar, but I put the item in front of the door, so when I open the door I have to move/pickup the item."

4. Every day can be Christmas

"Do gift shopping year-round. If you see something a friend or relative would like for a gift 6 months before their birthday, get it anyway, put it in a “gift spot” and then you’re ready to go. Prevents both stress and overspending."

5. Post-shower clipping

"I try to always clip my nails right after a shower. They're softer after prolonged water exposure (in line with 'pruny hands'). It makes them cut cleaner and easier (yes, even the big toe), and they don't fly across the room."

"Nice! You made me think of sort of opposite logic: if you wait to pluck hair till your skin is a little greasy, they come out much better—cuz they’re all lubed up."

6. Friday cleaning

"Tidy up your house on Friday after work.. set up your whole weekend for leisure and low stress projects!"

"I use this trick too, but I spread all chores throughout work week, so on Friday night, I only make dinner and relax."

7. Blink to sleep

"Blinking fast for a minute to help fall asleep at night."

"One I use and does help to fall asleep is to completely relax your face. It sounds odd until you do it and realize how unrelaxed your face is."

8. Reverse rewarding

"I always try to reward myself before I start an assignment or something I’m dreading. I think the idea of having to work to earn a reward is dumb, and rewarding myself before hand always lifts my mood which in turn makes me more productive."

"This is something that can definitely work for many people. Having adhd, I tend to reward myself then never do the task lol."

9. Point and say

"Like, I have Invisalign right now (last 2 years), and like they say, the trays are invisible. I can't tell you how many times I've lost those fuckers on the rock countertop! When you're hangry and in the kitchen, you tend to forget where you set your teeth down in a quest for food. I learned to point at them and say out loud to myself where they are. It has worked for my cell phone, garden tools, work gloves, car keys, knitting needles, etc..."

"I do that in the car if I’m running to the store, and just need like 5 items. I say 'I need 5 items from the store: apples, milk, bread, cat food, dish soap,' and I’ll recite it a few times. That way, in the store, if I’m at item #4, I don’t forget I need one more thing."

10. Cut pizza with scissors

"I ate pizza in Berlin last month...and they gave you scissors to cut the pizza. It was awesome. Now I need pizza scissors in my kitchen."

"It’s just so simple and smooth! Pizza cutters will either cut halfway through the dough or you have to go back and forth a few times. Scissors just one neat cut through and you’re good to go!"

11. Beat procrastination

"As a procrastinator, instead of thinking 'I’ll do this task at xx date/time,' I replace it with 'I should finish this task by xx date/time' Because for some odd reason, I’m fueled by the thought of deadlines."

12. Gift notes

"Make a note in your phone with all things your SO would like as a present. Whenever they mention something or just seem to fancy it, add it to the list. When their birthday or Christmas comes you can just look up what you would like to gift them and they will very likely love your present, while you don't have any trouble deciding."

13. Have Chat GPT read it to you

"My job and my degree requires me to read lots of policies, studies and reports which I struggle to because of ADHD. I can read very well but I just can't keep attention. So I copied and uploaded it to ChatGPT, asked it to write a detailed summary highlighting the key points and actions, and then clicked the 'text to speech' button. It means I can get through so many more documents and understand them."

14. Hold the salt

"Asking the fast-food chain to serve you French fries with no salt forces them to make you a fresh batch that are always piping hot and crispy. Salt you can add yourself later, but that means you get the freshest possible fries."

"Also, if you plan to dine in, go through the drive-thru and then park and take your food indoors. Drive-thru is prioritized in speed."

15. Better butter

"I butter things with the back of a spoon. Never use a knife. Ever. It feels like it works better. I don’t use a spoon but we have several plastic spreaders with a broad, oval blade & I always reach for those over a butter knife. The surface area & the curved edges seem to spread it more evenly & efficiently."

16. Ice your rice

"When I reheat rice in the microwave, I put an ice cube on top. It prevents the rice from getting chewy and weird, it makes it fluffy and nice."

"I spray a paper towel with water and put it over whatever I’m heating in the microwave. The steam helps keep things moist and prevents spatters if anything explodes. The ice trick sounds like it would achieve the same moistness aim and be less wasteful. Gonna try this one!"

17. Onion goggles

"Wearing swim goggles while cutting onions."

"That's what I was going to say! I wear lab goggles and they work perfectly."

"I definitely got laughed at by my wife."

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Science

The longest — and probably largest — proof of our current climate catastrophe ever caught on camera.

It was the largest such event ever filmed.

Exposure Labs

All GIFs and images via Exposure Labs.

Photographer James Balog and his crew were hanging out near a glacier when their camera captured something extraordinary. They were in Greenland, gathering footage from the time-lapse they'd positioned all around the Arctic Circle for the last several years.

They were also there to shoot scenes for a documentary. And while they were hoping to capture some cool moments on camera, no one expected a huge chunk of a glacier to snap clean off and slide into the ocean right in front of their eyes.

A glacier falls into the sea.

assets.rebelmouse.io

ocean swells, sea level, erosion, going green

Massive swells created by large chunks of glacier falling away.

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It was the largest such event ever filmed.

For nearly an hour and 15 minutes, Balog and his crew stood by and watched as a piece of ice the size of lower Manhattan — but with ice-equivalent buildings that were two to three times taller than that — simply melted away.

geological catastrophe, earth, glacier melt

A representation demonstrating the massive size of ice that broke off into the sea.

assets.rebelmouse.io

As far as anyone knows, this was an unprecedented geological catastrophe and they caught the entire thing on tape. It won't be the last time something like this happens either.

But once upon a time, Balog was openly skeptical about that "global warming" thing.

Balog had a reputation since the early 1980s as a conservationist and environmental photographer. And for nearly 20 years, he'd scoffed at the climate change heralds shouting, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

"I didn't think that humans were capable of changing the basic physics and chemistry of this entire, huge planet. It didn't seem probable, it didn't seem possible," he explained in the 2012 documentary film "Chasing Ice."

There was too much margin of error in the computer simulations, too many other pressing problems to address about our beautiful planet. As far as he was concerned, these melodramatic doomsayers were distracting from the real issues.

That was then.

The glacier ice continues to erode away.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In fact, it wasn't until 2005 that Balog became a believer.

He was sent on a photo expedition of the Arctic by National Geographic, and that first northern trip was more than enough to see the damage for himself.

"It was about actual tangible physical evidence that was preserved in the ice cores of Greenland and Antarctica," he said in a 2012 interview with ThinkProgress. "That was really the smoking gun showing how far outside normal, natural variation the world has become. And that's when I started to really get the message that this was something consequential and serious and needed to be dealt with."

Some of that evidence may have been the fact that more Arctic landmass has melted away in the last 20 years than the previous 10,000 years.

Watch the video of the event of the glacier calving below:

This article originally appeared 10 years ago.

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Menswear expert gives 3 reasons people dressed better in the past, even in peak summer heat

How were they not roasting hot all the time?

Photo credit: Canva (left), Vintage Japan-esque/Flickr (right)

What makes people look so classy in photos from the past?

Do you ever see photos of people from the past and feel a tinge of regret that we've let clothing styles become so sloppy? Don't get me wrong, I'm an avid fan of my sweatpants and lounge sets, but there was something classy about the way people dressed in the first half of the 20th century, even when they were just hanging around casually. Why was that?

Derek Guy, who has made a name for himself as @dieworkwear, a guru of menswear on social media, has an explanation. While expectations of dress were certainly different in the past, there are other reasons why the way-back-when generation looked so good in their clothing. And it wasn't because people were thinner, Guy says. It actually boiled down to three things: "shape and drape" styles, specialized materials, and a greater tolerance for discomfort.

— (@)

"Shape and drape" styles provided more structure

"The first point — 'shape and drape' — can be seen everywhere around us, not just in clothing," Guy writes. "Even in architecture, interior design, and furniture, things look more pleasing when they have distinctive and interesting shapes. Even without the presence of a tailored jacket, many outfits in the past looked great because they conferred distinctive shapes — a boxier shirt, fuller pants, short shorts, etc. Certain techniques, such as pleats, gave volume."

— (@)

"Over the years, men have slowly molted their layers — first by shedding the tailored jacket, then the necktie, and in some cases, even the collared shirt. They have long ditched hats, which conferred another type of shape to an outfit," he writes.

"The rise of slim fit, low rise pants and technical polos that cling to the body means you end up getting an outfit that's barely even there. There's very little texture, detailing, or even a distinctive silhouette. May as well be wearing two smooth pieces of Saran Wrap."

— (@)

Guy also explained how proportions come into play with how clothing looks. A t-shirt that's too long or pants that are too low distort the way an outfit looks to us.

"The ratio between the upper and lower halves of an outfit will depend on the intended aesthetic (and there are many aesthetics), but the "rule of thirds" is a good starting point," he shares.

Specialized fabrics allowed for better looks with more breathability

The materials our clothing is made from has changed a lot over the past century. The rise of polyesters, acrylics, and other fabrics have altered the fashion landscape more than we might realize.

"When you look at photos of well-dressed men in the past or even today, their trousers often drape well because they are cut from heavier wool fabrics," Guy writes. "Some can still be comfy bc of the open weave."

— (@)

Natural fabrics like wool tend to drape better, and the nature of wool is such that it can be warming or cooling, depending on how it's woven. We might think a wool suit would be overly hot, but when created in a lighter weight with an open weave, it wouldn't be. As a result, people could layer clothing more readily, which gives outfits more distinctive shapes and textures.

— (@)

People tolerated not being 100% comfortable 100% of the time

Let's face it. We've all gotten a little soft when it comes to clothing and comfort. Why wear a button-up shirt and pants when you can wear loose yoga pants and a buttery soft t-shirt? Why wear dress shoes when it's become perfectly acceptable to don sneakers with almost any outfit?

— (@)

We've sacrificed style for comfort, and maybe there's nothing wrong with that. Regardless, "discomfort tolerance" is a legitimate answer to the question of why people dressed better back in the day—they were just accustomed to being a little uncomfortable. Their "loungewear" consisted of leather loafers instead of tennis shoes and wool slacks instead of fleece sweatpants. Now that we're addicted to comfy, it's hard to go back.

Of course, some people still dress a little nicer than the rest of us, and others simply don't care. But if you do want to look a little more put together, these three style principles might just help you get there faster.

You can follow Derek Guy on X and check out his website here for more like this.

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Health

Neuroscientists share how to 'revive' memories that you thought you had forgotten forever

A lot of the memories that you thought were gone forever can be retrieved.

via Canva/Photos

A man improving his memory.

When most people forget things that happened in the past or how to tackle specific tasks, they think that the memory is gone forever. They will have to relearn the skill, and once a memory is forgotten, it’s like the event never happened. However, new research shows that when we forget things and can’t recall them, there’s still an opportunity to retrieve the memory. Like finding a lost file in a computer—you have to find the right place to look.

A new study published in Cell found that when your brain updates your memory, it does some strategic formatting where it intentionally forgets some experiences or pieces of information to make room for new information. That’s a tough pill to swallow when you spent all day trying to learn a new program on your computer, only to forget what you did a few days later.

notes, writing notes, headphones, woman on couch, via Canva/Photos

How to recall memories you thought were long gone?

But there’s good news. When we forget things, they aren’t erased from existence. They’ve been put in a dormant state, and they can be retrieved. Let’s say you went on a trip to a lake 11 years ago, but now you can’t remember the seven friends who went with you. You close your eyes and recall everyone on the trip, but you just can’t come up with any names.

By re-experiencing something associated with the memory, such as a photo of the lake or the music you listened to, you can trigger the recall of the forgotten details, empowering you to take control of your memory. It's as if the associated item serves as a key to unlock the door to the information stored in your mind.

Took a trip to the store and you forgot the ingredients that go into your famous chilli? Even if you scan your brain and try to recall the ingredients, you may come up empty. But if you start with the ingredients you know, like the chilli powder, and grab it off the shelf and put it in your shopping cart, the other ingredients may magically come to you.

It's fascinating to think about how many memories we have that are waiting to be rediscovered with the right kind of prompting. It's like a treasure hunt in our own minds!

memory, mental issues, poor memory, notes, post-its, recall A man reading notes on a wall.via Canva/Photos

What is cued recall?

The type of mental activity that helps you recover long-forgotten memories is known in scientific circles as cued recall. Cued recall is significantly more effective than free recall due to the additional support provided by cues, helping activate dormant memory pathways.

The big takeaway from this research is that your brain is an incredibly vast and powerful place that holds so much information, it locks some of it away in a far-off place just in case you need it in the future. The wild thing is that even though it's your brain, you still may need some help from science to learn how to use it. If only the mind came with an owner's manual, we'd be in much better shape.

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