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People share the moments they felt the most joy with no sex, drugs, or alcohol involved

This is just so wholesome.

Photo credit: Canva

Sometimes happiness is right at our fingertips.

Historically speaking, sex, drugs, and alcohol have been humanity’s go-to dopamine spiking refuges, a short-lived opportunity to feel pure, unadulterated pleasure, in spite of Mother Nature deciding it plays second fiddle to survival and procreation. However, we know these pleasure sources often aren’t as pure as they seem inherently, since they can lead to addiction.

And yet, judging from the truly wholesome answers to this Reddit question:

“What's the purest joy you've ever felt without intimacy, substances, or alcohol?”

…we are offered the reminder that maybe joy isn’t so elusive after all. And in fact, it comes to us, in the simplest of ways. Which can be a bit of a relief for those of us still convinced that happiness lies just on the other side of that goal post.

Below are some of our favorite answers. You’ll definitely notice a few major themes, but hopefully the biggest takeaway of all will be the reminder that in many ways, happiness is waiting to be felt by us. And maybe feeling a bit happier is only one hug, laugh, or sunset away. .

The wonders of nature

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit A person basking in nature. Photo credit: Canva

“Seeing the sea for the first time.”

“For me, it was watching a sunrise on a quiet morning—just the colors, the stillness, and knowing the world was waking up. Pure, simple joy.”

“When I first saw a desert, it was honestly depressing. But then night fell and I saw the bands of the milky way galaxy.”

“I had never seen fireflies in real life but got to see them when my daughter was five. I wish I had a picture of my daughter’s face when we had one flashing and crawling up my shirt…We got to experience it together for the first time. If my memory starts to fade I hope that one is last to go!”

“When I was 24…I had just gone through a lot of BS…and was dealing with severe abandonment issues. I was casually seeing a guy and a friend of ours was moving to Washington and needed a ride. So we offered. Very long story short, shit hit the fan. We ended up penniless with nowhere to go…and randomly stumbled on this alpaca homestead that also provided camping…we spent the next few weeks working for them during the day…I mainly worked on the lawn…weeding this plot of land in front of their big log cabin.Every day I worked on the land and just thought about all the things that used to torment me…I eventually became grateful for every single thing that happened in my life, I was grateful for the good and bad. I just felt complete peace and acceptance. I was content for the first time in my life.

Things started randomly coming together…Every single thing we needed was provided in the most insane ways…Before, it was impossible to be alone with my own thoughts. After…I knew that there was something bigger than me…I knew beyond any doubt that true gratefulness connected me with it…I don't think that would have happened if I wasn't so immersed in nature, either. It was like the physical and spiritual connected to allow me to find myself. I swear I'm not a hippy 😂 I just think that radical love for yourself and radical gratefulness leads to some very incredible places that you can't reach otherwise.”

“I was snorkeling alone in a bay off a small Greek island. Suddenly there was a huge shoal of sardines all around me. There must have been thousands of them. I kept taking huge breaths and swimming underwater amongst them for as long as I could hold my breath. It was incredible, like a dream. Almost as if I was flying with a flock of birds. I swam with them as long as I could until they headed for deeper water.”

Second chances

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Two people hugging.Photo credit: Canva

“When my parents were on the verge of separation I was very sad for a whole week and I was just trying to process how our lives are going to change forever. One evening my mom, my sis and I were talking about this whole mess and at the exact moment my father opened the door and there was awkward silence because mom and dad weren't talking at all. Suddenly everyone laughed at the awkwardness of the situation and that's when it hit me that ‘this is probably the last time we are laughing as a family of 4…’While laughing I burst into tears because I felt pure joy and peace I was missing for the past week and that day I understood the value of having a loving family. Luckily my parents didn't separate and things are better now.”

“Riding a horse again after being wheelchair-bound for five months.”

Being able to afford all your needs…because money does buy some happiness

“Last night, I went to Target, bought only what I needed, came home to my one bedroom apartment, changed into comfy clothes, lit a candle, and opened the window to a complete downpouring thunderstorm…I sat on the couch, watched a romance movie, ate dinner, my cat crawled her way into my arms and just purred next to my ear while I held her. I vacuumed, folded my laundry, put it away. Brushed my teeth and got into bed, and realized that not only do I have my own apartment to myself, I could still smell the aroma of dinner around and it smelled like HOME. After all the years of shitty roommates and being broke and working two jobs, I make enough to afford my own apartment…and have enough time to spend time enjoying it. I almost cried for joy.”

“I was in an accident and got a decent settlement when I was younger…For a couple years I was able to buy everything I needed, a lot of stuff I wanted, and spend money on my friends. Genuinely those years were the happiest I’ve ever been.”

Residual joy from someone else’s win

“I’m a software developer. During COVID, a close friend of mine got laid off from his job at a catering company.…I offered for him to live with me and my family during the pandemic rent-free and teach him how to code.For the following year and a half, I worked closely with him every single weekday; helping him through tutorials, projects, bugs, frustration, and moments of exasperation…After living with us for a year and a half and applying to over 600 jobs in the last 6 months, he finally got an offer as a software engineer, not only paying more than he ever made at a restaurant, but also with full benefits so he could get dental work done…getting this job meant that he was essentially set for life…The day I came home after he got the offer, we just laughed and cried and bro-hugged forever. It was one of the proudest moments of my life and I’ll never forget that feeling of truly lifting someone else up in a way that affects the rest of their life. This month marks his 3rd year into his engineering career and he is still killing it.”

“Hearing my wife was cured of cancer. Those words will forever be engraved in my memory and associated with pure joy”

“Watching my little boy ring the bell last week after beating cancer ❤️”

Kindness from strangers…especially in times of struggles

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Two kids enjoying a milkshake. Photo credit: Canva

“Me and my brother were dirt poor, but we saved up enough money for a McFlurry. We were at the McDonalds door counting up our coins to make sure we had enough. I went in, payed for the McFlurry with exact change, the person at the register saw my brother waiting outside by the door, she handed me two. It felt like Christmas.”

Being the recipient of unconditional love

“The day my niece, who had just learned to talk, saw me walk in the door and screamed my name before running up to hug me. Zero agenda, zero conditions.. just pure joy from someone happy I existed.”

“Being with someone I truly could be myself with. It lasted for only a few months, but I can't remember anything that comes close since.”

“I would have to say the private last dance at my wife and I’s wedding…We had a whole song just to ourselves and the emotions of the day overwhelmed me. I didn’t cry at the first look, but I cried then. I may have been a bit buzzed but the happiness I felt was profound.”

Earning the love of an animal

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit A sweet doggo. Photo credit: Canva

“The day my rescue dog laid her head on me to fall asleep after 2 years of work to help her”

“That feeling when a rescue finally trusts you is just unreal. My most recent cat hid under the bed for a few days and one night just randomly decided to come onto the bed and plop down right between my husband and I. I could've cried.”

“I had a rescue parrot…You could not look at him without him visibly trembling…And yet, I could see he wanted so badly to love and trust…I will never forget the first time I offered him my head, since he looked like he wanted to touch it, and he very roughly preened my hair…Once that particular threshold was crossed, he was the most love hungry member of our flock…You could not give him enough loving…I’ll always be grateful to have known and helped you, my dear Smudge.”

“I recently went back to Italy after being gone. The people that I thought would come to see me didn’t, and I was feeling a bit unwelcome. I went to my favorite bar/cafe/restaurant…After I sat down for about 5 minutes the bar’s cat was frantically meowing at me and trotting over to greet me. She remembered me :) I was so happy and the beginning of my stay was a lot better because I was feeling a bit alone and forgotten.”

Engaging the senses

“Fresh cool sheets on my bed with the windows open in the fall for a mid-day nap!”

“Playing live music. Being emotionally connected to a room full of people is an amazing feeling. And of course everyone likes being clapped at.”

And last, but certainly not least—seeing the world

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Someone seeing the world. Photo credit: Canva

“Traveling. The pure excitement of being in a new country, taking everything in and seeing what kind of adventure unfolds. Especially true for my first solo trip 10 years ago when I had wanted to travel forever and finally did, despite people telling me not to.”

May we all find one simple thing to bring us pure joy just like this today.

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Retired teachers in their 30s live on cruise ships full-time for a little over $10K a year

“It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense."

via Matthew Barra/Pexels

A cruise ship could be your home for a way lower price than you'd expect.

You know that feeling toward the end of a great vacation when you stop and think: I wish I could stay here forever. It might be an all-inclusive resort, a secluded beach, or a fun-filled cruise on the high seas that you just don't want to leave. Of course, for most people, it's a fantasy. You can't just quit your job and live a permanent vacation. But what if you could?

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise and had the time of their lives. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."

The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals and promotions they’d received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000.

That's not per month. That's the total, coming out to around $1250 per month. Not a bad deal whatsoever. Plus, the more cruises they book, the more perks and deals they get.

“It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.

Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises.

They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

More recently, they've spent time in Amsterdam, the UK, Germany, Belgium, and more. What an amazing adventure.

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry, or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub. Plus, there are always new friends to meet on board with every new cruise.

Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

Brzoska and Conley were one of the first high-profile couples to get attention, followers, and media coverage for the permanent cruising lifestyle, but they're definitely not the only ones. It's an especially popular choice for retired adults and seniors, who find it cheaper and way more fun than living in a retirement community or nursing home. It's also a great choice for people who can work remotely and flexibly, or who own their own digital-nomad-friendly businesses.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

As of this writing, the couple has been cruising full-time for over two years, or 916 days to be exact. They've been on 106 cruises and visited over 45 countries together. Absolutely unreal.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


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Pets

Study finds pets are worth $90,000 a year in happiness, almost exactly the same as a spouse

Wait, does that mean getting a dog is the same as getting married?

Cecily Knobler

A woman marries her dog.

It's not often we think of "life satisfaction" in terms of a number. But in a world where it would seem everything has a currency attached to it, having a pet is worth quite a lot.

Obviously, any animal lover will tell you that having a pet companion is priceless. But, according to a study published in the Social Indicators Research Journal (which surveyed 2,500 British households), researchers Michael W. Gmeiner and Adelina Gschwandtner surmised that having a pet companion actually does have a quantitative financial value.

In an article for CNN, author Issy Ronald explains that this study "concludes that having an animal companion is worth up to £70,000 ($90,000) a year in life satisfaction—a metric economists use to quantify the 'implicit price' of otherwise intangible things."

What's even more interesting? The study finds that dollar (pound) amount is relatively the same as the financial "worth" of having a spouse or "meeting up with friends and relatives regularly."

But how? The researchers explain, "Economists have relatively recently developed ‘the life satisfaction approach’ to assess the size of the effect of different factors on life satisfaction. The process involves using simple regression analysis to determine the implicit price of different factors or occurrences in life." Citing many different studies, they determine how to put a monetary value on what otherwise might seem immeasurable.

Now let's bust out some math. Using the equation U = V (P,Y,A), they explain: "U here is utility, P is the price of the marketable good (such as housing), Y is the numeraire (income), and A is the level of the good or amenity (e.g., scenery, or pet companionship in our case)." The equations get much longer and more complicated than that. (And unless you just emerged from a calculus class and/or have had loads of coffee this morning, it might be a bit much.)

cats, dogs, pets, companionship, value A cat poses for the camera. Photo by little plant on Unsplash

But the basic idea is: the equation determines the actual value that a pet brings to your overall life. For example, having a dog might get you on neighborhood walks, which is good exercise and could help you make friends. This adds value to your life, which translates into theoretical income.

This idea has inspired fabulous memes on social media. On Instagram alone, the comments are sweet—and some a little cutting for the married folks. One commenter writes, "To be honest, it’s probably better. Dogs love unconditionally, are super loyal, match your energy, and give some great comedic relief."

Another goes even further to say, "The love I felt for my dog was pure. I've never felt that level of moment-by-moment joy with anyone. I love my hubby, but my pup made me literally feel like I met an angel full of love and light that wanted to live with me."

One person joked that comparing the worth of a pet to a spouse is impossible: "That’s an insult to all dogs."

The cat owners were relatively quiet on the matter on social media, but knowing many feline lovers, it's assured that most of them feel the same way.

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Psychiatrist perfectly explains why each generation approaches happiness so differently

Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

Dr. Judith Joseph is the expert on joy and happiness

Fill in the blank: Happiness is...?

Owning a home with a white picket fence and two-car garage? Achieving the ideal work-life balance? Or having legions of faithful followers on TikTok who hang onto your every word?

When we think about happiness, we often assume everyone wants the same things. However, depending on your answer to the question, "What is happiness?" many psychologists could pinpoint approximately when you were born. The generation you are a part of determines so much: whether you've ever had a perm, how comfortable you are using the Internet, and even how you define joy itself.

It's all about context.

Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and the author of High Functioning: Overcome Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, went viral on Instagram when she explained how collective experiences shape each generation's approach to happiness.

"People from different generations have different ways of addressing happiness based on their different collective traumas, experiences, and educational opportunities," she wrote in the caption.

About Dr. Judith Joseph

Dr. Judith Joseph is more than just a phenomenal content creator—her professional resume is mind-bogglingly impressive. As the Principal Investigator of Manhattan Behavioral Medicine, she and her team have done groundbreaking work studying high-functioning conditions, such as high-functioning depression, ADHD, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, and OCD.

In short, she's an expert on joy and happiness—what causes it, how it shows up in the body, and where our ideas surrounding it stem from.

Generational definitions of happiness: How history shapes values

Research shows that each generation develops a unique definition of happiness based on the formative experiences that shaped their worldview during adolescence and early adulthood. How Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials, and Generation Z experience and define contentment is strikingly different. Each generation has been molded by unique historical events, economic conditions, and social changes that have forged its core values.

families, generations, kids, changes, baby boomers A family that looks straight out of the 1950s. Photo credit: Canva

Throughout the generations, there have been drastic changes in every aspect of life. Family structures and rituals look a lot different now, with 76% of Baby Boomers reporting that they ate dinner as a family every day. In comparison, only 38% of Gen Z do. When the Internet exploded onto the scene, teenagers and adolescents had access to global perspectives in an unprecedented way. Work has witnessed several eras as well, with Boomers viewing their jobs as a source of identity and financial security. At the same time, Millennials need their 9-5 to be meaningful and aligned with their values.

Dr. Joseph's video demonstrates this phenomenon exactly: from war and economic uncertainty to technological revolutions and social upheaval, these are the shared experiences that created distinct approaches to finding meaning in life.

Baby Boomers: The resilient generation

Born between 1946 and 1964, Baby Boomers developed their ideas of happiness through a lens of survival.

"Boomers' mentality may have stemmed from their parents who went through wars and economic uncertainty," writes Dr. Joseph. "Their survival mode mentality led them to cope by suppressing emotions and to display strength and grit."

This generation is tough. Baby Boomers grew up hearing stories about the Great Depression and World War II from their parents, which created a deep yearning for basic security. "Many older boomers did not have access to education about psychology, so they did not acknowledge emotions," Dr. Joseph notes. Instead, they focused on external validation, tangible achievements, and traditional markers of success. They frequently equate happiness and fulfillment with the "American Dream": Owning a home, raising a family, and having a stable career.

woman, generations, baby boomers, happiness, psychology Baby Boomers learned to survive. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

Dr. Joseph emphasizes this in her video when she emulates Baby Boomers, saying: "Of course I'm happy! I have a roof over my head, three hot meals a day, and I'm gainfully employed. What's there to be sad about?"

Generation X: The pragmatic generation

" Gen X was raised in the age of materialistic accumulation, and they were in the age of improving their individual states rather than focusing on those around them," Dr. Joseph observes.

"They were praised for being 'doers' and when situations were hard, they took a 'can-do' approach and focused on self-improvement strategies," she continues. "They were raised in a society that valued wealth and objects as symbols of status, and they often delayed happiness for the future."

Generation X, born between 1965 and 1980, came of age and witnessed economic uncertainty, recessions, and the end of the Cold War during their formative years. These experiences formed a pragmatic relationship with happiness, viewing it as something that can only be earned through hard work and delayed gratification.

woman, generations, gen x, happiness, psychology Generation X works themselves to the bone, in the hope of reaping rewards. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

In her Gen X get-up, a business suit worn straight home from the office, Dr. Joseph describes this generation's approach to happiness as thus:

"I work myself to the bone, but one day I'll have enough money in my bank to travel the world. I'll delay happiness until retirement."

Millennials: The meaning-seeking generation

Millennials represent a fundamental shift in the ways happiness is defined and pursued. Born between 1981 and 1996, unlike previous generations, Millennials prioritize meaningful work and experiences over material possessions.

"Millennials grew up in the age of internet convenience. They were the first generation to be born into an age of online access to platforms," Dr. Joseph explains. This unprecedented access to information and global connectivity shaped their worldview in profound ways. "They were also the first to have access to online knowledge and resources, so they search for a better life and meaning," she notes. "They are often overwhelmed with the idea of 'having it all' and they have high levels of financial stress, which makes happiness seem out of reach."

woman, generations, millennial, happiness, psychology Millennials changed the way we think about happiness. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

The Millennial approach to happiness often sounds like this: "I was just telling my therapist on our Zoom session that I can't afford to be happy. I have too much student loan debt."

Talk about accuracy.

Generation Z: The authentic generation

The youngest generation mentioned, Gen Z (born between 1997 and 2012), has the most complex, multi-faceted relationship to happiness. "Gen Z grew up in the age of social media where they connect in a digital age as digital natives," Dr. Joseph explains. "Their interactions online are just as valuable as interactions in person."

Happiness is deeply tied to authenticity and social justice for Zoomers. "They are deliberate about their choices to value their chosen community and set rigid boundaries and advocate openly for their preferences," Dr. Joseph notes. Gen Z has witnessed climate change, school shootings, political upheaval, and a global pandemic during their formative years, creating a unique perspective on what matters most.

woman, generations, gen z, happiness, psychology Gen Z is all about living in the moment. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

"They are fed up with the system that selects a small group for financial superiority and aren't afraid to leave a system that seems skewed for the wealthy," Dr. Joseph observes. This translates into a happiness philosophy that sounds like this: "Um, the world is melting, there's bad news everywhere. I'm just going to travel the world and be happy today because tomorrow isn't promised."

Your generation's experiences shaped you. That's okay.

Dr. Joseph's viral insights inspire us to recognize that happiness is not a one-size-fits-all concept; it's profoundly personal and shaped by generations. By embracing these differences, we can create empathetic workplaces, strengthen our families, and foster connected communities where everyone is empowered to thrive in their unique ways.


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