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Heather Wake

Family

Boomer dad plays song to comfort his daughter going through divorce and it's simply perfect

Sometimes you don't need words.

@jac.rsoe8/TikTok

Some dads just get it.


There’s no shortage of stories out there showing how emotionally distant or out of touch some baby boomers can be. Younger generations are so fed up with it that they have their own catchphrase of frustration, for crying out loud.

The disconnect becomes especially visible in parenting styles. Boomers, who grew up with starkly different views on empathy, trauma and seeking help, have a reputation for being less than ideal support systems for their children when it comes to emotional issues.

But even if they often have a different way of showing it, boomer parents do have love for their children, and many try their best to be a source of comfort in some way when their kid suffers.

Occupational therapist Jacqueline (@jac.rose8) recently shared a lovely example of this by posting a video of her boomer dad helping her through a divorce in the best way he knew how.

Turns out, it was the perfect thing.

“My husband just said he’s divorcing me and my dad came over and I was non-functional in bed,” Jacqueline wrote her video, adding that “...boomer dad didn’t know what to do, so he played his favorite song, the Dua Lipa ‘Rocket Man’ remix 😂”

In the clip, Jacqueline’s dad never really looks at her, but shifts the focus by describing what he imagines while listening to the song and performing the sweetest dad dance ever.

Watch:

@jac.rose8 #divorcetok #divorcesucks #divorcesupport #divorcesupportforwomen #divorcesupportsquad #supportivedad #disabilitytiktok ♬ original sound - Jacqueline

The heartwarming moment served as a great reminder that words aren’t always necessary.

‘“I am CRYING. This is so precious, he is trying his hardest to be there for you in any capacity. How pure ❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “This would instantly make me feel better.”

Even Jacqueline shared in the comments that her dad “didn’t know what to say but he was there and helped me in such a sweet way. He’s the best 🥰”

Proving that he has multiple love languages, Jacqueline later shared that her dad also went out to Home Depot to replace her lightbulbs. Not only that, but her mom also made Jacqueline’s favorite dinner. Maybe boomers are okay after all.

Really, it goes to show that great parents can be found in every generation. Part of what makes them great is knowing that they don't need to be perfect in order to show up when things are hard. Being there and sharing their love is enough.


This article originally appeared on 6.12.23

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Joy

Postal carrier had a 'gut feeling' after seeing mail pile up for three days. It saved a life.

This dedicated public servant became a small town hero.

YouTube

Kayla Berridge went above and beyond.

Kayla Berridge had been walking her normal 9-mile delivery route in Newmarket, a small town in New Hampshire, when she noticed something unusual.

The mail she had been delivering continued to pile up over a matter of days at one resident’s home. The resident was an elderly woman in her 80s, and would occasionally share a chat with Berridge, according to CNN.

Berridge told CNN that after noticing the unattended mail pile, she got “a little concerned.”

“I just had this gut feeling and wanted to make sure,” Berridge told WMUR 9 News, explaining that “most people put a hold in if they’re not there, so when people pick up their mail every day, you start to notice their habits.” Not to mention, the woman’s car was still in the driveway.

Berridge followed her instincts and called the local police department for a wellness check, and in the process saved the elderly woman’s life.

CNN reported that officers found the woman trapped on her bedroom floor under heavy artwork and frames. The theory is she tried to use her bed for support, and in the process these items on the bed fell onto her, pinning her down for three full days. Though she was suffering from hypothermia and dehydration, Police Lt. Wayne Stevens confirmed she was stable and recovering.

I can only imagine the agony and fear this poor woman was in, lying in the cold and not knowing if help would come. Luckily, help was on the way, and this story has a happy ending.

In this instance, the familiarity that comes from living in a small town really paid off. “Everyone has each other’s backs,” Berridge told CNN.

But Officer Stevens wanted to give credit where credit was due. He agreed that Berridge’s quick thinking was “part of being a letter carrier in a small town,” he added that her actions were “taking your job to the next level.”

While wellness or welfare checks have historically been associated with the elderly, they are seen as an equally “critical tool” for the safety of many young people as well, especially with the “rise of suicide rates among adolescents and young adults.”

An example of this is when "Saturday Night Live" star Pete Davidson received a wellness check back in 2018. The comedian posted an alarming message to Instagram, saying “I really don’t want to be on this Earth anymore. I actually don’t know how much longer I can last.” This was after breaking off his engagement with Ariana Grande.

Though it certainly didn’t happen in a small town, the interconnectedness of social media helped raise some red flags and prompted authorities to make a visit.

If there’s anything to make you question someone’s well-being, it’s better to be safe than sorry.


This article originally appeared on 02.02.22

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Pop Culture

Guy shares the reason viral gym videos need to end, and it's so spot on

"If you can’t respect other people in a shared space, you don’t belong filming at all.”

Reddit

“This sense of entitlement has gotten out of hand."

Gyms are communal spaces where people can come to improve their health, fitness and/or overall well-being.

However, it’s no secret that many gyms have also become a production studio of sorts where influencers can set up a tripod to demonstrate the most cutting-edge squatting technique or where the average Joe can take that obligatory gym selfie to prove that the workout did, in fact, happen.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with either of these activities. However, they have sparked a new kind of behavior in gymgoers where they feign extreme frustration if folks walk from one machine to the next or grab a piece of equipment and, heaven forbid, enter the frame.


Take for instance a video shared to Reddit by u/ASTATINE_628, where we first see several cuts of a young woman at the gym, seemingly perturbed that people are continuously walking through her frame in her video.

The clip then cuts to a guy who breaks down what’s wrong with this scenario in a very clear and concise way.

“This sense of entitlement has gotten out of hand,” he said, noting that “for you to get upset because there’s people simply in your video going about their workout, not bothering you, minding their own business, is ridiculous.”

To act like she owns the gym.
by u/ASTATINE_628 in therewasanattempt

He certainly has a point. Of course, when personal space is actually being infringed upon, like when someone is facing harassment, that’s a different story. But in this case, as the man stated, there is no wrongdoing by simply existing.

The man then summed it all up with a short and sweet reminder about common decency. Or maybe not-so-common, since we’re needing reminders.

“Unless your name is on that gym, your filming is never a priority over other people. They pay the same gym membership that you do. If you can’t film responsibly, if you can’t respect other people in a shared space, you don’t belong filming at all,” he said.

Really, this behavior stems from something larger than modern-day gym culture. We film ourselves a lot these days, and often in public. This has undoubtedly caused a shift in how we view personal boundaries in the outside world, with both positive and negative effects.

On the one hand, it can be fun and self-esteem-boosting to treat your life as one big video diary. On the other hand, we bring strangers unwillingly into our orbit, treating them as punching bags, entertainment, or, in the case of the miffed gymgoers, nuisances. We vainly stop treating other people like fellow humans sharing life on this crazy blue planet. No video seems worth forgetting that.

Even for those who have never set foot into a gym, and never will, this is a poignant reminder to not lose our humanity as our relationship with social media grows. It’s perfectly fine to tap into “main character energy.” Let's just keep in mind that really, we’re all part of the same story.


This article originally appeared on 3.28.23

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Health

Expert says this one odd laundry habit could indicate ADHD

Plus, how to make the habit more manageable.

Representative image from Canva

ADHD Coach Jeff Rice says this habit is a near "universal sign" of ADHD

If you were to walk into your bedroom right now, what are the odds that you’d see clothes that never quite made themselves into actual outfits piling up on the floor? Perhaps they are sitting next to—or are even mixed in with—clothes that you did wear once throughout the week that aren't quite dirty, but for some reason can’t make their way back into your closet.

If this sounds familiar, then you have what’s known on social media as a “floordrobe.” And sure, the phenomenon is common enough to warrant a slang term, but according to experts it could indicate neurodivergence—ADHD, specifically.

In a TikTok video that has been watched almost 5 million times, ADHD coach Jeff Rice explained that this type of clutter, be it actual piles of clothes on the floor or a laundry basket “that just sits there for days and days or weeks,” happens to folks with ADHD for two reasons.

“The first has to do with the clothes which are not quite dirty. Usually we leave these things out because it’s going to act as a visual cue to remind us ;this is not quite dirty and I want to wear it again,” he said.

However the problem with visual cues is that “we become visually adapted to them,” Rice noted. And after we’ve adapted to seeing these cues, we no longer act on them.

The second common reason is that it’s neither interesting nor urgent, and so it gets put off until it does at least become urgent, like when there are no more clean socks.

While it might be hard for any of us to focus on boring tasks, it can be physiologically impossible for those with ADHD. We have enough research now to prove that it has nothing to do with laziness or unwillingness, and everything to do with different brain wiring that comes with its own advantages and disadvantages.

And thankfully, Rice has a few ADHD-proof strategies that have helped him with the floordrobe issue, which can possibly help others.

@jeff_coachyouradhdbrain It seems like many people with ADHD have challenges dealing with laundry.  The clean laundry, and the “not quite dirty and I’ll probably wear it again” laundry tends to accumulate and create clutter.  This laundry clutter is often called our “floordrobe”.  Here are two thoughts on how to tackle this kind of clutter. #laundry #clutter #organizationhacks #adhd #adhdtiktok ♬ original sound - Jeff Rice - Author, ADHD Coach

First, he put “parameters'' on which of the not-quite-dirty clothes can stay out. “For example, if I’m leaving a sweatshirt sitting on the edge of the tub in the bathroom because I’m planning on wearing it tomorrow, great. If I don’t wear it tomorrow I either have to put it away or just put it in the dirty clothes,” he says.

As for putting away clean clothes, Rice decided to tackle his warped ability to gauge how long a task might take, commonly known in the ADHD community as time blindness.

“Whenever I look at a basket of laundry, I think, ‘Oh my gosh, this is going to take forever to put away,’” he said. “And objectively, it’s not true. One of the ways that I attacked this was, at one point, I had three baskets of laundry sitting in my closet and I didn’t want to put them away. So I decided to check to see how long does it really take for me to put away three baskets of laundry. The answer — 21 minutes. I set a timer, and I timed myself while I put them away ― seven minutes per basket.”

Rice shared how having the hard data help transform the emotionally overwhelming concept of “forever” into a very manageable “seven minutes” made all the difference.

“It actually makes it easier for me to look at it when I don’t want to do it, take a breath, and think intellectually ‘it’s only seven minutes.’”

And obviously, while Rice says that floordrobes are a “universal sign” of ADHD, there are plenty of other causes. Everything from depression to simply a lack of storage space could leave us making clothing piles from times to time. Still, having ways to declutter when life or our own brain chemistry seems to be working against us can help us better navigate the tough times.

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