upworthy

Heather Wake

Alive with Steve Burns/Youtube

Julie McFadden (Left) Steve Burns (right)

Julie McFadden, better known as Hospice Nurse Julie, has made a name for herself demystifying a subject we all have pretty big (and sometimes scary) feelings about: death.

Recently, McFadden appeared as a guest on the Alive podcast, created and hosted by Steve Burns. Yes, beloved Steve from Blue’s Clues who has quietly reinvented himself as an advocate for emotional honesty through compassionate conversation.

Burns started Alive as a place for meaningful, vulnerable dialogue about being human, with guests including Jamie Lee Curtis, Paul Ford, and Maitland Ward, to name a few.

There's something striking that for a podcast, the inaugural guest would be a death expert, but McFadden was a surprisingly perfect fit. And her conversation with Burns felt like two people pulling back the curtain on something universal, but rarely talked about with this level of clarity or tenderness.

Here are some of our favorite insights:

Our bodies are built to die

As McFadden explained, “there really is a biological, physiological, metabolic thing that is going on when someone is dying.”

Yes, our bodies have an incredibly strong drive to survive, but when the end approaches, the body often naturally shifts to make the end a smooth, even enjoyable transition. Calcium levels rise, sleep increases, hunger and thirst diminish, pain perception decreases, and some people even experience a sense of calm or euphoria.

“There’s mercy in that somewhere,” Burns reflected.

To that end, McFadden noted that when medical teams intervene aggressively in that natural process, it can create more discomfort rather than less: “When the body is naturally doing something, yes we can try to intervene, but we have to do all these things to make it work.”

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Talking about death helps, even when it’s scary

Whether someone is processing fear, anger, sadness, or uncertainty, McFadden says that acknowledging these emotions almost always brings more peace than avoiding the conversation entirely.

Being present is often the best medicine

Both Burns and McFadden point out how easy it is to get pulled into doing rather than being when someone is dying. Families often feel pressure to fix, manage, or fight the process. But the quiet acts of presence—sitting together, listening, offering a hand—can be far more comforting than any medical effort.

24-hour support is rare, but not all hope is lost

McFadden didn't hold back about the realities of end-of-life care in America. To die comfortably and with full support, she said, often requires resources many families simply don’t have. Still, she emphasized that planning makes a huge difference. Even sharing your preferences with one trusted person can ensure your wishes are honored.

Dying might not be the end

Regardless of one’s personal beliefs, hearing McFadden share her own sense of what happens at the end is unexpectedly soothing. She spoke of a feeling she described as “homesickness,” something she senses both when witnessing a first breath and a last breath. The way she explained it doesn’t push an ideology so much as it offers another perspective.

McFadden’s expanding work continues to open doors

Beyond TikTok and this conversation with Burns, McFadden has been steadily building a library of educational resources, including her recent book, titled Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully, which tackles the biological, practical, and existential implication of death on a much deeper level.

You can also, of course, give her a follow on TikTok for even more amazing content. And while you’re at it, be sure to follow Alive with Steve Burns on YouTube.