As someone who's been married to the same human for 22 years, I can say with confidence that a big key to marital bliss is to come at it with a sense of humor. Living with and loving someone for life (hopefully) is a shared journey with ups and downs and unexpected detours. The story of that journey is filled with big life events and mundane daily details, and with moments both precious and perturbing.

If you've been married a while, this collection of funny tweets about marriage will hit home. Shared by Joshua Johnson on Facebook, this "Marriage: A Story of Love in 28 Parts" compilation includes universal sentiments, classic spouse conundrums, and pandemic-specific realities for people in long-term love

Here they are, linked to the original tweets so you can follow the creators if you wish, and written out in text for our friends with audio aids. Grab your partner and have a good chuckle at your own expense:


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Lifetime/Twitter

At this point it seems like the best choice is to fully lean into the absurdity of everything as we claw our way out of the weirdest, if not the worst, year in recent memory. And from that perspective, Lifetime's new Kentucky Fried Chicken mini-movie—yep, you read that right—totally fits the bill.

I mean, Mario Lopez playing a sexy Colonel Sanders in a murderous love triangle romance thriller plot seems right on schedule, doesn't it? We did the whole "Tiger King" thing early in the pandemic, so it's high time for another "What did I just watch?" guilty pleasure.

Lifetime's "A Recipe for Seduction" is clearly a marketing ploy for KFC, but who cares. The trailer is deliciously wonderful and horrible, leaving me unable to look away long enough to roll my eyes at its ridiculousness. Like, I don't want to admit that I actually want to watch this because I'm not a fan of humiliation, but at the same, I totally want to watch this.

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Every parent knows the woe of kids leaving their dirty clothes lying around. When I was a kid, my dad would see my pile of clothes on the bathroom after I took a shower and cry, "Oh no! Annie melted!" I thought that was a clever alternative to yelling at me to pick up my stuff, but it doesn't hold a candle to the way a Washington state mom handled a dirty sock left behind by her daughter.

Xep Campbell shared how her and her 10-year-old daughter Kestrel's creative one-upsmanship escalated on Facebook, and people are loving it.

"On the evening of Thanksgiving when I went to bed I noticed one of Kestrel's socks on the bathroom floor," Campbell wrote. "I decided not to toss it in the hamper but instead see how long it would stay there, sort of a sociological experiment. Today, a week later, it remained, so I decided it must be intentional and deserved recognition as such. I made this little label hoping it would motivate her to pick it up. Oh no."

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Welp. Here we are, America. Exactly where millions of us expected we would be if President Donald J. Trump didn't the win an election that he wanted, expected, and thought he was entitled to win. His refusal to concede, alleging fraud and cheating without any solid evidence, is not the least bit surprising. Heck, he told us himself that it was coming. If he lost, this was the plan all along—deny the results, claim fraud, and don't back down.

That doesn't change the fact that it's effing insane, of course, and the fact that we're sitting here watching a sitting president undermine a free election in America should be deeply concerning to every American.

Instead, we have arguments like this:

"But what about all the fraud and the stealing and the..." NO. No thank you to all of that. These are the deluded musings of a malignant narcissist who is literally incapable of admitting defeat and should not be entertained or enabled.

"But don't you care about having a fair election, with legal votes counted and illegal votes not counted?" Yes, of course. The idea that we should only count legal votes and throw out illegal votes is not some great epiphany that needs to be stated—that's literally just an election. Our states' voting systems are set up with checks and safeguards and fail-safes to make sure that that's what happens, and those system generally work as they should.

That being said, there are always some irregularities and tallying issues that pop up in every election, which is why we have processes in place to check for them. We just don't usually put a microscope-of-doubt on the process as it chugs along. That microscope has resulted in people seeing only bits and pieces of the process, which leads to erroneous assumptions at best and baseless accusations at worst. And when those assumptions and accusations are broadcast from the supposed leader of the free world, it leads to chaos, confusion, and crisis of democracy.

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