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Dad with a 3-year-old son goes on a hilarious rant comparing toddlers to 'terrorists'

Parents are feeling so seen by this.

@andrecrews/Instagram

Dad Andre Crews goes on a rant comparing his toddler to a terrorist.

In parenting, there tends to be two camps of people: those who feel there is no experience more sacred or beautiful or fulfilling than bringing a child into this world, and those who are like, “this is hard, and my kid is a jerk, but hey, let’s have a laugh about it.”

Of course, which camp you belong to changes at any given moment, depending on whether you’re dealing with the sweet little cherub etched from your very soul, or their terrible, chaotic alter ego. You know the one.

 terrible twos, toddlers, parents, parenting, toddler tantrums, child psychology, kids, babies What I'd give to be able to throw a tantrum like that. media4.giphy.com  

It seems pretty clear which version fitness influencer and toddler dad Andre Crews was dealing with when he made a very raw, yet darkly funny TikTok comparing his three-year-old son to a “terrorist.”

A warning to those who might be sensitive to profanity: there are a lot of f-bombs thrown around in the video. Which can obviously be a little jarring when talking about a toddler, but it’s also clear that Crews, wearing a weighted vest that even gives off tactical gear vibes, is coming at this like a grizzled soldier on the battlefront—which is honestly something so many parents can relate to.

Swears aside, Crews goes on about how his kid holds his family “hostage” every night, how getting him to eat any food besides multigrain Tostitos chips scoops (“at least they’re multigrain”) and strawberry-banana Gogurt packets (“not strawberry, not banana, and if it’s not strawberry-banana…you better BUCKLE UP”), and how brushing teeth offers a whole “20 minutes podcast of war stories.”

Still, the tirade ends on a sweet note, with Crews saying, “but the next morning, he wakes up, he’s beautiful, and all the [terrorism] melts away.” If that ain’t parenting in a nutshell, we don’t know what is.

“To all the parents out there: know that it’s never easy, but you’re doing god’s work,” Crews concludes.

With over 220,000 likes on Instagram, Crews' video clearly struck a chord. So many parents chimed in to share how they too felt the carnage of the Terrible Twos.

“The more I talk to other parents we are just all raising the same kids in different skins 😂”

“The best description of parenting a toddler 🤣”

“Lmfaooooooo ….. okay so it’s not just me.”

“Hold the line buddy🤣same everywhere no back up, no support.”

“I have twins, I'm surrounded 😂😂😂”

“I HAVE SAID THIS FOR YEARS!!!! FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS 😂😂😂😂😂”

Toddlerdom is a constant experimentation phase for little ones to test the boundaries of their own free will, all while still being challenged by a still developing brain and sense of emotional regularity. So a bit of chaos, tantrums, mood swings, aggression, a bombardment of “nos!” or, as Crews put it, “terrorist” behavior. But this phase is par for the course in parenting. Kids aren’t being bad for the sake of it, they’re just navigating a pretty uncomfortable phase for the first time ever. And maybe strawberry banana Gogurt—not not strawberry, not banana, strawberry-banana—is the one and only thing to soothe that discomfort in the moment.

 terrible twos, toddlers, parents, parenting, toddler tantrums, child psychology, kids, babies To any parent dealing with a toddler tantrum—Godspeed. Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line, if you’re a parent currently feeling terrorized by your little one, you are not alone, and you’re doing great. and there's nothing wrong with "having four cups of coffee" to get through it.

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Pets

17 outrageous, side-splitting photos from the Comedy Pet Photo Awards

The 2021 crop of winners remains legendary.

via © Jakub Gojda/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021 and © Zoe Ross /Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021
17 of the funniest photos from the Comedy Pet Photo Awards

If kids say the darndest things, it's safe to say that pets do the darndest things. One of the great joys of having a cat, dog, or other small animal to call your own is the endlessly entertainment they bring you. The way we communicate, and miscommunicate, with our pets is magical and hilarious. When you're lucky enough to capture some of that magic on film, you get the memory of a lifetime.

Taking photos are also an expression of love. It's no secret that pet owners are obsessed with snapping candid photos of sleeping dogs, yawning cats, and anything that looks cute, cuddly, or hilarious.

The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards are a fun-filled competition created by Tom Sullam and Paul Joynson-Hicks to promote positive awareness of animal welfare issues. Past winners include a well-timed shot of a monkey who appears to have hurt the family jewels on a suspension wire. (Don't worry folks, no monkeys were harmed for the awards.) The competition has been so successful, the duo decided to branch out and create the Comedy Pet Photo Awards, where photographers can submit pictures of their furry friends for a £2,000 ($2650) prize.

Donations generated by the competition go to Animal Support Angels, an animal welfare charity in the U.K. The 2024 winner features a dog shoving his head through a way-too-small cat door. In 2023, the champion was a kitten caught redheaded trying to sneak attack his brother.

But even several years later, the crop of winners from the 2021 contest remains one of the best ever. The overall champion was Zoe Ross for "Whizz Pop," a photo of her labrador puppy Pepper who appears to be tooting bubbles.

“We never ever thought that we would win but entered the competition because we loved the idea of helping a charity just by sending in a funny photo of Pepper," Ross said in a statement. "She is such a little monkey, and very proud of herself, bringing in items from the garden and parading past you until you notice her. She is the happiest puppy we’ve ever known and completely loved to pieces.”

Here are the rest of the winners of the 2021 Comedy Pet Photo Awards.

Overall Winner: Zoe Ross "Whizz Pop," Penkridge, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Overall Winner: Zoe Ross "Whizz Pop," Labrador puppy, Penkridge, UK  © Zoe Ross /Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

Did this puppy swallow a bubble? Either he drank some bubble solution or this photographer just happened to have remarkable timing.

Best Dog Category: Carmen Cromer "Jurassic Bark," Pittsboro, North Carolina

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Best Dog Category: Carmen Cromer "Jurassic Bark," Pittsboro, North Carolina  © Carmen Cromer/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"My golden retriever, Clementine, loves to stick her face in front of the hose while I water the plants. Her expression in this photo made me think of a tyrannosaurus rex, hence the title, "Jurassic Bark." Duh nuh nuuuh nuhnuh, duh nuh nuuuh nuh nuh, dun duh duuuh nuh nuh nuh nUUUUUUhhhh." – Carmen Cromer

Best Cat Category: Kathrynn Trott "Photobomb," Ystradgynlais, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Best Cat Category: Kathrynn Trott "Photobomb," Ystradgynlais, U.K.  © Kathrynn Trott/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

Jeff stealing the limelight from his brother Jaffa. What is it that cats love so much about photobombing?

Best Horse Category: Mary Ellis, "I Said 'Good Morning,'" Platte River State Park, Nebraska

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Best Horse Category: Mary Ellis, "I Said 'Good Morning,'" Platte River State Park, Nebraska  © Mary Ellis/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"I like to visit the stable horses before I begin my hike at the State Park. This is the reply I received when I said 'Good morning.'" – Mary Ellis

When they say you should never look a gift horse in the mouth, maybe this is what they had in mind.

All Other Creatures Category: Sophie Bonnefoi, "The Eureka Moment," Oxford, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition All Other Creatures Category: Sophie Bonnefoi, "The Eureka Moment," Oxford, U.K.  © Sophie Bonnefoi/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"Cutie and Speedy are two chicks hatched from eggs placed in an incubator at home in August 2020. They spent their first few weeks indoors. In the photo, they are just over two weeks old. They were curious about everything. This is the day they discovered their own shadow. It was hilarious to see them wondering and exploring that 'dark thing' that was moving with them!" – Sophie Bonnefoi

Junior Category: Suzi Lonergan, "Sit!" Pacific Palisades, California

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Junior Category: Suzi Lonergan, "Sit!" Pacific Palisades, California  © Suzi Lonergan/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"Our granddaughter gave the command to sit. Beau is very obedient." – Suzi Lonergan

Anyone who's ever owned an oversized dog has been here before. This snapshot absolutely reflects the hilarious reality of keeping a gentle giant in your home.

Pets Who Look Like Their Owners Category: Jakub Gojda, "That Was a Good One!" Czech Republic

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Pets Who Look Like Their Owners Category: Jakub Gojda, "That Was a Good One!" Czech Republic  © Jakub Gojda/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"This photo was taken by accident during the photography of my ex-girlfriend with her beloved mare. For this cheerful moment, I thank the fly that sat on the horse's nose and he instinctively shook his head." – Jakub Gojda.

The resemblance is uncanny!

Highly Commended: Chloe Beck, "Hugo the Photobomber," Walsall, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Chloe Beck, "Hugo the Photobomber," Walsall, U.K.  © Chloe Beck/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"This is my best friend Faith, her husband Alex, and their cheeky Sproodle, Hugo. Faith wanted a photograph to mark a special occasion—her first outing after shielding at home for 14 months. Hugo jumped into the frame at just the right moment!" – Chloe Beck

Highly Commended: Luke O'Brien, "Mumford and Chum," Coventry, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Luke O'Brien, "Mumford and Chum," Coventry, U.K.  © Luke O'Brien/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"Losing the opportunity to play with my human bandmates during lockdown, Flint, my rescue dog, soon taught me that we didn't just have sharp bones in common, but musical ones, too. He soon became the perfect substitute for a collaborative stomp up at home, so much so that we felt we deserved our own band name (Muttford and Chum). With my camera set up remotely during this shoot, I think it's fair to say that the image is proof that his conviction as a performer matches my own." – Luke O'Brien.

Luke and Flint could have been strong competitors in the lookalike contest, if you ask me.

Highly Commended: Kathryn Clark, "Wine Time," Cichester, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Kathryn Clark, "Wine Time," Cichester, U.K.  © Kathryn Clark/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"It's that time of day again! Little Blue enjoys it almost as much as me." – Kathryn Clark.

This cat just gets it.

Highly Commended: Diana Jill Mehner, "Crazy in Love With Fall," Paderborn, Germany

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Diana Jill Mehner, "Crazy in Love With Fall," Paderborn, Germany  © Diana Jill Mehner/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"This is Leia. As you can see, she definitely loves playing with all the leaves in autumn. It was really tricky to take this picture because you never know what the dog is going to do next." – Diana Jill Mehner.

Highly Commended: Christine Johnson, "Boing," Crosby Beach, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Christine Johnson, "Boing," Crosby Beach, U.K.  © Christine Johnson/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"I was busy playing with my dog on the beach and this dog came to play. I liked the shapes he was making in the air." – Christine Johnson

Highly Commended: Manel Subirats Ferrer, "Ostrich Style," Platja del Prat de Llobregat, Spain

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Manel Subirats Ferrer, "Ostrich Style," Platja del Prat de Llobregat, Spain  © Manel Subirats Ferrer/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

Nuka playing hide and seek at the beach. Hey, we've all buried our head in the sand at one point or another.

Highly Commended: Colin Doyle, "Nosey Neighbor," Bromsgrove, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Colin Doyle, "Nosey Neighbor," Bromsgrove, U.K.  © Colin Doyle/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"According to Ozzy, we need a new fence panel ASAP. He is fed up with Chester our nosy next door neighbor spying on him every time he has a meal." – Colin Doyle.

There's a lot going on in this one, but the hidden camera is what really makes it a winner.

Highly Commended: Corey Seeman, "A Warm Spot on a Cold Day," Michigan

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Corey Seeman, "A Warm Spot on a Cold Day," Michigan  © Corey Seeman/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"Two of the morning regulars at the dog park are Gary (hound mix with the jacket) and Kona, one of the most chill dogs ever." – Corey Seeman.

Highly Commended: Lucy Slater, "So What?" San Diego, California

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Lucy Slater, "So What?" San Diego, California  © Lucy Slater/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

"This is how I like to sit!" – Vincent the cat

Highly Commended: Mollie Cheary, "Photobomb," Poole, U.K.

 pets, animals, wildlife, comedy, dogs, cats, funny, photography, photos, viral photos, photography competition Highly Commended: Mollie Cheary, "Photobomb," Poole, U.K.  © Mollie Cheary/Animal Friends Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2021  

'"Bailey was so excited to see her friends, she couldn't sit still for a photo!" – Mollie Cheary

The photos are hilarious and adorable, but you might wonder: What's the point of all this?

The founders have actually given that quite a bit of thought. According to the website:

"Lots of people ask us why we do the competition and what we are trying to achieve. This is an epic question. So, we’ve had a really good think, (with tea and biccies obvs) and come up with this: 'Through the Comedy Pets, we want to promote positive awareness of animal welfare issues and celebrate the incredible and valuable contribution that pets can and do have on our lives.'"

So you're actually doing a lot of good by viewing, laughing at, and even sharing these photos. Great work!

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.,

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Joy

Cockatoo has an incredible maniacal laugh that feels straight out of a movie

You've gotta listen.

Photo credit: Canva, Tenor

This is a laugh Dr. Evil would be proud of.

A rescue cockatoo named Molly was very subdued and a bit skittish when she was first brought into her human family. But her entire attitude changed once she met her new human brother, and now visitors might be in for a slightly terrifying surprise.

Molly developed a habit of chasing her humans around the house laughing like an evil supervillain as they playfully run from room to room.

She may not be in cahoots with her fellow feathered friends to try to take over the world...yet…but her laugh is hilariously maniacal.

 
 @birdprozac #cockatoos #foryou #fyp #birds #pets #funnypets #funny #parrotsoftiktok #what #funnyanimals #entertainment #laughter #laughing #mybaby #hellothere ♬ Graceless - The National 
 
 

Molly family is more than down for her games, too. They not only play hide and seek with this lovable bird, they quite literally take her everywhere they possibly can—from coffee runs to hiking through the woods with her humans. While Molly doesn't startle strangers with her sinister laugh, she does randomly scream loudly when she's in public, which is probably more startling.

 
 @birdprozac #voices #foryou #fyp #birdprozac #birds #joy #funnypetsoftiktok #entertainment #laugh #parrot #parrotsoftiktok #what #viral #musician #singer #voices #molly #sweet #baby #birdsoftiktok #parrotsoftiktok #cockatoo #fun #car #carkaraoke #hilarious ♬ original sound - Birdprozac 
 
 


But it's the time she spends with her favorite brother that she seems to value the most.

"Molly wasn't always such a fun, vibrant bird. When we got her she didn't trust us," Betty tells The Dodo. "But she was really in love with my older son from the minute she met him. He could pick her up, comfort her, she was not afraid of him at all."

Molly even hunts for her brother when she knows he's in the house, going from room to room knocking on doors with her beak, saying, "Hello," and waiting for an answer. It's such an adorable bond they share and the maniacal laughter is something you have to hear for yourself.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 


Just goes to show that animals—including those that have been rescued—have their own personalities, even if it takes a while for that personality to come out. When they do, their humans better be prepared for whatever might come.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Humor

Dad shares an 'Amazon product review' of his newborn baby and it's parody perfection

"4.5 stars. Accidentally got the gassy mode."

Courtesy of @CamOnAll/TikTok

Jordan's "product review" of his baby on TikTok has people rolling.

Amazon product reviews have become a staple for many content creators as they piece together ways to make money with their social media channels. Product in hand, they talk to the camera, addressing other Amazon shoppers to inform them of their experiences with something they got from the website.

There's a bit of a formula with those reviews that might not be super noticeable until you see one done in jest. And one dad with a newborn has totally nailed it.

  

Jordan (@CamOnAll on TikTok) holds his newborn (Louise—they call her Lou) in a semi-football hold as he delivers an "Amazon product review" of her.

"Hey everybody, this is my product review. We got this from Amazon roughly five-and-a-half weeks ago or so. It came in a little different package than we were expecting. We had to do some manual opening of the box, but hey, we got it out of there." (Lou arrived via an unexpected but non-emergency c-section.)

"They don't tell you exactly the size," he continued. "This one was 21 inches, I believe, so it was a good length. It was 6 lbs 14 oz, which is a really healthy weight. The thing they didn't tell us after we first got this one was that they may lose a little bit of that delivery weight before you go home in terms of how much they ship to you. That's okay."

@camonall

4.5 stars. Accidentally got the extra gassy mode. 5/5 for looks though.#amazonfinds #productreview

Jordan goes on to explain that he does have a few complaints. He gives this model 4.5 stars, but not because there's anything wrong with its features. "The big thing about this one is this one came with the gassy mode activated. We weren't sure if it was going to be activated or not, but this one most definitely was." It also came with a lip tie and a tongue tie, which they didn't order, but he does give it "5 stars for looks."

In all seriousness, you really never know exactly what you're going to get when you have a baby delivered (or when you deliver one yourself). And whether you hit snags with shipping or find yourself questioning whether something went awry in the manufacturing process, humor is often the best way to handle the unexpected.

 baby, newborn, baby looking surprised  Babies can come with all kinds of surprises.Photo credit: Canva

Some people played right along with the joke, while other parents chimed in with their own experiences.

"i see you got the model without blinker fluid. can you get them with the blinker fluid already installed."

"Man..10 years ago I got 2 boxes at one time. I thought it was a joke. I guess they had a buy one get one free thing going on. They sent me another 8 months ago. It keeps scratching me and pulling my hair. Now they have another one coming in December😭 should I be scared?? I can’t return to sender LOL"

"👀 careful with the order button, I got 2 for 1 deal!"

 babies, twins, parenting humor 2 for 1 deal = twins  Giphy  

"I ordered 2 about 2 years apart. Unexpected opening of the packages as well. Both of mine had gassy mode activated. Make sure to check your owner's manual for both and make sure you don't accidentally activate the colicky mode."

"I hear the shipping is like 9 months. 😳 Can’t get them with Prime!"

"I've been trying to order a third one for 8 years. Freaking amazon."

"28 years ago, I ordered 1 base model and they shipped 2. Now with that I was not charged extra shipping and did not have to order again. My packages arrived 2 months early so I didn’t have to wait the full delivery time."

"Yea I bought 2 of them..but heads up..alot of them start to glitch at about 12 years old..I have to threaten mine that I still have the receipts and the original packaging"

Yep, a sense of humor is definitely necessary when raising kids.

You can follow Jordan on TikTok.

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