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Motherhood

Photo credit: Canva, @magicman1942/TikTok

Donal Schaefer's message is making so many SAHMS feel seen.

"Being a stay-at-home parent isn't a job! How hard is it to hang out with the baby all day?" Ever heard that one? Hopefully, you're hearing it less and less these days as people realize that "hanging out with the kids" is actually extremely difficult.

Stay-at-home moms work round the clock performing myriad duties, both physically and emotionally demanding, all for zero compensation. Not only does the job not pay (some studies show the value of the labor itself is worth nearly $160,000 per year), it doesn't usually come with a whole lot of respect or prestige. Even more dismaying than the lack of monetary gain is the lack of recognition these full-time moms get for what they accomplish day in and day out.

That’s where Donald Schaefer comes in. Schaefer, a man who seems to be upwards of 80 and living in Florida, is a bit of an unexpected influencer in the mom corner of social media.


 sahms, heartwarming, moms, parenthood, stay-at-home mom, motherhood, encouragement, parenting advice Stay-at-home moms trying to find a second to themselves to send an email. Giphy  

But nonetheless, his Instagram and TikTok are full of videos meant to offer financial tips, recipe ideas and emotional support specifically for this demographic. He helps stay-at-home moms work on side hustles and at-home businesses to supplement their income, you know, the one that they're not getting for all the hard work they're doing.

One video in particular is making stay-at-home moms, aka SAHMs, feel so seen.

In his “special message to stay-at-home moms,” Schaefer offers SAHMS the rare gift of being told what an “incredible job” they’re doing, saying that their “dedication, hard work and love are the cornerstones of your family’s well being.”

Watching his daughters and granddaughters with kids, Schaefer says that he’s “amazed” at what accomplished every day, and because of that, he was inspired to remind all SAHMS that “what you’re doing matters immensely.”

“Sometimes in the midst of the chaos of daily routines and endless chores it’s easy to forget how important your role is, but every meal cooked, every scraped knee kissed, every bedtime story read, it all adds up to shaping the future generation,” he said.

@magicman1942

Special message for the stay at home moms. #stayathomemom #personalgrowth #inspiration #stayathomemomstruggle #workingmom #personal

Schaefer went on to say that it’s “perfectly normal” to get overwhelmed or exhausted with all the responsibilities and isolation that come with the job. That’s what makes self care so necessary.

The isolation, in particular, can be a doozy. Many stay-at-home moms work incredibly hard to maintain a network of other parents with whom to plan play dates, lunches, and other social or kid-centric outings. Without just that little of bit of human connection, almost anyone would crumble to pieces.

“Whether it’s stealing a few moments for yourself during nap time, indulging in a hobby you love, or simply just taking a relaxing bath at the end of the day if you can find the time. Prioritize your well being,” he urged.

He then encouraged SAHMs to carve out moments to celebrate the small victories and appreciate the joys of motherhood, whether that looks like “a successful day of homeschooling” or “simply seeing your little one smile.”

Finally, Schaefer brought it all home by reiterating that even if it doesn't always feel like it, a SAHM’s value is “immeasurable.”

“Trust me. You are the heart and soul of your family and your efforts create a warm and nurturing environment where everyone can thrive. Keep shining your light and know that you are appreciated, loved and admired more than you’ll ever know. You’re doing an amazing job, and the world is a better place because of you,” he concluded.

Understandably, viewers were moved. Over a million people watched the video and hundreds chimed in with their appreciation for the message.


 sahms, heartwarming, moms, parenthood, stay-at-home mom, motherhood, encouragement, parenting advice Being a SAHM mom isn't all snuggles and kisses. But it's nice to remember to enjoy those moments when they do come.  Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash  

“Made me tear up!! What man takes the time to encourage moms? None I’ve known. Thank you,” one person wrote.

“This definitely made me cry,” another echoed. “Thank you for such kind words and taking the time to make this video. It touched my heart so much.”

One commented, “I’m not even a SAHM, and I still felt this! ALL moms can relate I think…thank you sir!”

And still, another simply wrote, “Needed this.”

Moms, and stay-at-home moms, are fierce about their community and support for one another. They're quick to lift each other up, lend a helping hand, and heap words of praise on one another. But sometimes they need encouragement from outside their little tribe.

In Schaefer, here's a guy who's been around for a long time and seen it all. In his 80-plus years of wisdom, it speaks volumes that his appreciation for the hard work and sacrifice of stay-at-home moms has only grown.

For every SAHM (or any stay-at-home parent, for that matter) may these kind words help bolster your spirit, and remind you that what you do is important indeed. You deserve that, and so much more. The good news is that the world at large is starting to realize it, too.

For more of Schaefer's content, find him on Instagram and TikTok.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

via J.R. Minton (used with permission)

A Texas UPS driver has a strong opinion on stay-at-home moms.

J.R. Minton, a 33-year-old UPS driver from the Dallas, Texas, area, recently ruffled some feathers with a viral TikTok video titled “SAHMs Listen up!” that begins with him asking, “I mean, how entitled could you be?” At first, Minton appears to fail to appreciate the enormous amount of emotional, mental, and physical labor that stay-at-home moms provide.

“I truly cannot imagine the amount of arrogance you must have to sit there and complain when you are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you,” Minton continues. “Let’s get real! What do you do all day? Your spouse is taking care of everything so you can take care of one thing. How complicated could it be: all you do is go to work?”

At this point, legions of stay-at-home mothers and those who love them considered trucking themselves to Dallas to find this unappreciative UPS driver. However, it was soon apparent that Minton was referring to himself.

@minton__jr

Grow tf up—You should be doing more. #sahm #sahmlife #momlife #mom #momsoftiktok #sahmsoftiktok #sahmtok #momtok

 


“For 10 hours a day, you get to live the life of a single, childless, carefree man because your wife was willing to take the financial risk of allowing you to be successful in your career while she takes care of everything else,” he continues. “She provides childcare services, home cleaning services, medical services, food services, scheduling services, and a list that goes on and on. And you provide... a paycheck? And you have the nerve to call yourself the provider! What is it going to take for you to realize that, bro, everything you have in your life is because of a stay-at-home mom.”

The commenters on the video breathed sighs of relief and then praised Minton, a father of 4, for publicly appreciating his wife’s work.

 sigh of relief, relief, woman sighing, exhaustion, exasperation, joy A woman breathing a sigh of relief. via Canva/Photos

"My sleeves were rolled up, earrings were off, hair tied up.... I was so ready...." one commenter joked. "I thought I landed in enemy territory for a min..." another added. "You have just made me realize after all these years that *I* am the freaking provider and that feels amazing,” a stay-at-home mother wrote.

People appreciate Minton’s post because he praised stay-at-home mothers and placed his wife’s work above his, which he characterized as merely bringing home a paycheck. Minton has one job, delivering packages, but as he noted, his wife is an expert in over five different professions. In a world where stay-at-home moms are fighting to be seen as equals to their working spouses, Minton places them on a pedestal and owes his “carefree life” to them.

"Married life, with children, is bound to be chaotic," Minton told Upworthy. "It’s bound to have its ups and downs; It’s made me question myself a thousand times. However, the marriage my wife and I share has given me the space to find peace."

  via Canva/Photos

Minton may be sharing an opinion we don't hear often enough, but he doesn't think he's the only one who thinks that way. "The last thing I am is rare or unique. There’s nothing special about the way that I feel or the things that I say. I have the same thoughts, feelings, frustrations and problems that any other husband or father might be struggling with," he told Upworthy. "The only difference that might be apparent is how I choose to react to the same situations any other man might encounter."

This post isn’t the first time Minton has pulled the bait and switch on his followers. Last year, he made a video where he appeared to take pride in the fact that he never “helps” his wife with chores.


  

The twist in this video was that he doesn’t “help” his wife with chores because they are also his responsibility. "Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view stay-at-home moms. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

Minton is an equal partner to his wife because he wants to treat his wife and family differently from how he was raised. “Pretty much everything about my parenting style is in spite of what I saw when I was growing up,” he told Today.com. It's wonderful to see someone like Minton breaking the generational cycles. What makes it even better is that he wants to teach others to do the same.

This article originally appeared in January 2025.

Motherhood

Ultramarathoner stopped to breastfeed her baby three times during her race—and still won

Stephanie Case had zero expectation of winning the 61-mile race—she just wanted to feel like an athlete again.

Photos courtesy of Stephanie Case/Facebook

Stephanie Case won the Ultra-Trail Snowdonia race in Northern Wales in May of 2025.

Running an ultramarathon is a feat most humans won't ever even attempt, much less successfully complete. Far more taxing than a regular marathon, ultramarathons not only exceed 26.2 miles—often doubling or tripling those miles—but they frequently wind through rugged terrain with steep elevation changes. It takes an elite level of fitness, athleticism, and mental fortitude to compete in ultramarathons, much less to win one.

So imagine the practically superhuman level of all of the above it would take to win an ultramarathon six months after having a baby and while breastfeeding—which is exactly what 42-year-old mom Stephanie Case did, to everyone's surprise.

Case ran the Ultra-Trail Snowdonia race in Northern Wales in May of 2025 with zero expectations of winning it. She hadn't competed in three years, and after navigating two miscarriages, two egg retrievals, and three rounds of IVF treatments to have her daughter, Pepper, she wasn't sure if she would ever return to it. But as her pregnancy progressed, so did her desire to be an athlete, so she began the meticulous training process of getting her body ready to run 61 miles (100 km), while also preparing to give birth.

"My goals were to enjoy myself and make sure Pepper was fed at aid stations," Case wrote in an Instagram post. "As I no longer have a UTMB index, I started in the last wave, 30 min after the leaders. Sure, I had hundreds of runners in front of me, but I could go at my own pace in blissful ignorance of my placing."

That blissful ignorance turned to delighted surprise when she was informed that she had won. The human rights lawyer and mom had breastfed her six-month-old three times at aid stations during the race, and she had no idea where she stood among the competitors until the race was over.

"It truly was like riding a bike - every kilometre that passed reminded me that I hadn’t lost a thing over these past three years," she wrote. "In fact, I have gained way more joy and strength from this sport as a mom than I ever did before. While it broke my heart to leave little Pepper at the aid stations, I wanted to show her - both of us - how amazing mom runners can be."

However, Case is also clear about how difficult it was to train for and to complete the race, especially after receiving some negative feedback from people who says she's setting the bar too high.

"The response has been so positive, but there has been a negative cohort,” she told The Guardian. “Part of those are just misogynists, but the others are exhausted mums who look at this story and think, oh my God, I could never do that. Now there’s even more pressure on us to be able to have a baby and work and run races and now breastfeed during races.

“I don’t want anyone to feel badly about themselves out of a story like this. I’m quite open about how hard it is and how much support I have, and the messy parts of it. At 95k I was done, dry heaving and peeing all over myself. I ran with devices internally. It’s not all rainbows and bunnies and a lot of things have to come together for something like that to happen.”

One of those things was pelvic floor training. In France, where Case lives and gave birth, it's standard practice for postpartum mothers to have 10 sessions with a midwife for pelvic floor therapy. (American moms, take note.) That was one of many steps and supports that helped prepare her body for the ultramarathon.

Case wants moms to know that having a baby doesn't mean you have to put your goals or dreams aside.

"Whether you are thinking of being a mom, are pregnant, or are a new mom yourself, don’t be afraid to keep setting big goals for yourself," she writes. "Everyone has an opinion about what new moms should or shouldn’t be doing, and that doesn’t open up a lot of space for 'out there' ideas like running an ultra. Should I spend this much time away from my baby? Is it harmful to my body? What about my milk supply? My coach helped me navigate these questions and the social pressures that come with being a new mom runner, but we need to work together to remove the pressure in the first place and provide more support."

Support is definitely key, but let's give credit where it's due to Case herself. Even with all the support in the world, winning an ultramarathon while breastfeeding a six-month-old is an incredible physical and mental feat. Kudos to this mama for making it happen.

Motherhood

Millennial mom is stunned when grandma compares parenting in the 80s to now

Taylor Wolfe couldn't believe her mom slept soundly without any kind of baby monitor.

@thedailytay/TikTok
"My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."

Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be—and probably are—doing it all very, very wrong.

What's especially fascinating is that our data and best-practices have gotten so much better over time. Parents in the 80s had no idea that crib bumpers were dangerous, just like their parents didn't know that using whiskey as a sleep aid probably wasn't the best idea! We know better, and yet, we're burdened by the overwhelming amount of knowledge and potential dangers around us.

Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, nails this conundrum perfectly this as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.


80s, parenting, millennial mom, motherhood, millennial parens, boomer grandparents, moms, dads, parents, kidsParenting in 2025 is a lot different than in the 1980s. Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

In a clip posted on TikTok, Wolfe and her mom sit side by side on the couch and have a fascinating discussion.

First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)

“What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

“Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it's healthy!”

“I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

…Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

“I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says. Wolfe asked her mom how she slept without a baby monitor and knowing for certain, at every instant, that she was safe? "We just slept" her mom deadpanned.

@thedailytay

My anxiety would have hated the 80s. Or maybe loved it? IDK! #fyp #millennialsontiktok #parenttok #momsoftiktok #comedyvid

Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

“If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

Without missing a beat, Wolfe's mother says, “It's summer, I still have you.”

Cue the tears!

Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure on parents.


@thedailytay

She had some big feelings. #parentsoftiktok #gentleparenting #satire #fyp #foryoupage #momlife #parents #millennialsoftiktok

From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

“Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom."

"it's almost like all the technology, and it's advertising, leads to so much unnecessary anxiety" someone added.

Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

It's no wonder that parents' mental health is, collectively, in the toilet. We're more stressed today about money, work-life balance, getting into good schools, signing up for activities that gobble up all our time... everything.

Experts say there are ways parents can manage the stresses of modern life, though. Reducing phone and social media use, for starters, is a good way to avoid ruminating on all the potential dangers of the world. Parents are also challenged to push themselves out of their comfort zone by allowing their child more freedom and independence than they'd normally be comfortable with. For example, letting your kids walk to school or go buy something from a store without your help.

I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.