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Father of 3 shares what he learned about his wife’s ‘mental load’ after she left for 8 days

"I had no idea it felt like this."

dad with a sleeping child
Image credits: @ced/Instagram (used with permission)

Even involved dads aren't always fully aware of how much their wives manage mentally.

Parents today share responsibilities more equally than in past generations, but studies show childcare still falls disproportionately on women's shoulders. Some families choose one parent to take on the lion's share of childrearing and/or domestic duties, and if that works, great. Other couples work similar hours and have to figure out how to equally split home duties, but however the household is structured, mothers most often tend to be the "default parent" and household manager.

That means it's mostly moms that are constantly thinking about managing the million little details of parenting. The big things like feeding, bathing, transporting, teaching life lessons and such are fairly easy to share equitably. But the invisible work—keeping track of routine doctor and dentist appointments, communicating with teachers can caregivers, keeping extended family updated, figuring out what clothes to keep and get rid of as kids outgrow them, keeping the family calendar up-to-date, etc.—that's all part of the "mental load" of parenting that moms tend to carry, often without their partners even being aware they're doing it.

via GIPHY

That's why one dad's confession after getting a taste of solo parenting has gotten a huge reaction. Cedric Thompson, Jr., a former NFL player and dad of three daughters, shared a video explaining that he didn't really understand the mental load his wife was carrying until she went to visit family in the Philippines for eight days, leaving him home alone with the kids.

"I've been a single dad for 8 days because my wife is in the Philippines and I had no idea it was this tough," he said with a sleeping child cradled in his arms. He explained that he was prepared for the cleaning, the transporting kids back and forth, the unexpected sickness, the feeding, and the sleeping. "But one thing I was not prepared for was the mental load," he said. "I had no idea it felt like this. To think about things that need to be done that haven't been done or things that I need to plan to do is so draining that I don't even have the energy to take care of myself at all."

This is why dads need to step into moms' shoes once in a while

"And now that I understand this, I have so much empathy for my wife," he said, "and I truly understand what she means by this 'mental load' and how draining it is. This has really opened my eyes and made me ask myself, what more can I be doing? What has been going on that I haven't been seeing and it's right in front of me? How can I step up the way that my wife needs me to instead of doing things that I think are helping?"

"I know I can't always take the mental load away, but I can definitely make it lighter."

There's a significant difference between assisting and managing, and when you're the sole parent for a while, you're forced to take on the management role. Eight days isn't very long, but it's enough to get a taste of being the one who to think about all the things all day. It's a lot. As Thompson wrote in the caption, "The endless planning, remembering, and organizing is exhausting in ways I never understood before. The most profound lessons come when we walk in someone else’s shoes, even if just for a little while."

Some people asked what he's been doing this whole time when his wife is home, but it seems some of those folks might be missing the point. This is an involved dad and husband, not a slouch. But even those who want to and try to share the load equally don't always know how to help with the mental load of the default parent because it's mostly internal. And trying to explain it and figuring out how to ask for help with some of it just adds more work, not to mention we don't even always know ourselves what we need help with. Stepping into the shoes of the default parent is really the best way to get a feel for what might be helpful without adding more to their plate.

via GIPHY

The "mental load" is invisible, so it's nice to have it seen and validated

Some commenters weighed in with thoughts and tips for lightening the mental load;

"Pro tip: when your wife asks you what she should make for dinner, she’s trying to share the mental load with you. So just give her a straightforward answer."

"I love this…it’s called validation, empathy, and love🥰 Thank you for sharing this. The realization and verbalization of it makes the load lighter. Sometimes mental heaviness is worse than the physical."

"Really appreciate this post and how you explained yourself. The ‘mental load’ is that never-ending list running through our minds every single minute of the day. It’s the constant inner monologue of everything that needs to get done, the overwhelming pressure of how to get it all done, and the invisible timeline that gives you anxiety when you don’t meet it—even though you set those standards yourself.

It’s the feeling of failing if you don’t check every box. Walking into a room and forgetting why you’re there, only to lose your mind later when you finally remember—but now you’ve got ten other tasks at hand. It’s the frustration when you realize that everything you just cleaned is already dirty again.

Sometimes, it’s not even about what men do or don’t do; it’s the weight of our own thoughts that get to us. But when someone helps lighten that load, even just a little, it means everything."

"I love this. But to answer your question, the way you take the mental load away is you pretend you have to do it alone even when she comes back. Because that’s the reason she has mental load. Because she feels like she has to do most of it alone, even if you’re always there to “help”. That’s why I hate the word help. It implies that this is all her job. You’re doing well but keep digging deeper 💗 I do appreciate this post."

via GIPHY

What exactly does the parental "mental load" entail? Here's a partial list.

And yes, there is a need to go deeper. As one commenter pointed out, "You are operating the day to day under a structure she put in place," so a lot of the mental work was already done before she even left. And parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, so getting familiar with a specific list of "mental load" items that non-default parents might not think about can be helpful. Someone offered this helpful—if utterly daunting—list of some of those items:

Planning teacher gifts for the holidays and the end of school. - getting that parent’s contact info for that play date. - researching, budgeting, and scheduling summer activities and when to sign up for them the January/Feb prior. - finding that in network pediatric ophthalmologist for an eye appt. Research that new dentist, schedule your kids vaccines, review the medical records, schedule that well child visit. - researching, scheduling, and budgeting the school and extracurricular schedule in the summer for the fall and in October for the winter/spring. - making time to be the family historian (researching, budgeting, and scheduling a family photographer 2 times a year, researching how to pick/buy outfits for the whole family, selecting and printing any prints, creating and ordering a photo book, organizing photo files, and physically organizing keepsake storage).

Teaching your kids about their heritage with activities. Research your family tree. - be the memory maker and plan fun activities for the family. Book those theater tickets, schedule that museum trip, plan that day trip to hike that waterfall, plan that vacation, schedule 3 farm trips a year, prep for activities leading up to the holidays. - 4 times a year audit your household belongings. What do you need to sell? What do you need to donate? What remaining needs a better storage system? Research the products that will help you stay organized and buy them. follow home organizers on social media. - Check your kids shoes. How are they fitting? Research and order/consign new clothing. - trim your kids nails once a week and cut their hair as needed (or schedule their hair appt). - plan your kids birthday party 2 months in advance, research activities, food, party favors, and decor ideas. create the invites and send them out 5 weeks in advance. 2 weeks in advance order the cupcakes, decor, party outfit, and gift wrapping.

Check in with guests food allergies, rsvps, and buy the gifts. 1 week in advance wrap the gifts, assemble the party favors, and take some cute photos of the birthday kid in their special outfit. Pack a bin of supplies you’ll need for the day of the party (scissors, wire and cutters, tape, paper goods, trash bags, matches, etc). - buy those tickets to your kids concert. - keep that first aid kit stocked up. - keep up weekly with school/teacher correspondence and volunteer at your kids school. - back to school shopping. - holiday planning.

Buy Halloween costumes at the end of September, plan a pumpkin farm day trip. Schedule any Halloween parties. The weekend before carve pumpkins. Take pictures day of. Buy nutcracker tix in October/ November, plan gifts, budget, and order. Research decor ideas, get desired supplies, and make them in Nov. meal plan and coordinate with family for thanksgiving. Set up decor and buy gifts, Christmas outfits, and wrapping supplies Black Friday. Wrap gifts, take kids out separately to pick out presents for their siblings. Research and schedule holiday outings as a family. Take pictures. Design, order, and send cards. Meal plan. Coordinate with the relatives.

Buy valentines cards for your kids class at the end of Jan. - talk to your kids about safety and abuse prevention 2-6 times a year in addition to “as needed”. - read the latest parenting books, listen to parenting podcasts, follow parenting accounts on social media. - plan kids craft projects. - take your kids to the library and keep up with the borrowed books. rsvp, order, and wrap a birthday gift for all the kid birthday parties. Write a nice note in a card about the child. - write thank you notes after birthdays, end of school, end of activities, after the holidays, and as needed."

There you go. Not even an exhaustive list, but a solid start. Thanks to Ced for the reminder that more we start putting ourselves on other people's shoes as parents and partners, the better off the whole family will be.

You can follow Ced on Instagram here.

This article originally appeared last year.

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The Levi Strauss Foundation advances the human rights and well-being of underserved people in places where the company has a business presence
Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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Wellness

Scientists discovered a fascinating trick to feeling like you slept great even if you didn't

"Placebo sleep" can be extremely powerful.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo
Photo credit: Canva

Tired man (left); energized man (right)

The benefits of getting a good night's sleep are too vast to name. Sleep is as essential for our brains as food and water are for our bodies. If you're not getting enough, sleeping better has been shown to elevate your mood, improve your memory, and even boost your physical health. And then there's the obvious: when you don't sleep well, you'll have less energy and generally perform worse on tasks that require any kind of effort or thought.

However, we're all human, and, sometimes, humans sleep terribly. Your infant might wake you up, or a car alarm might go off outside, interrupting your regularly-scheduled REM. It's not always our fault when we don't sleep well, but there might be an interesting way to fix it.

A study from 2014 may have demonstrated the existence of something called "placebo sleep," or tricking your brain into believing you slept better than you did.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo a man sitting at a desk with his head on his arms Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

The placebo effect, of course, has been studied relentlessly over the years and has shown that the human body can do amazing, almost impossible things, when the brain gets on board. The classic example is when symptoms of disease get measurably better after a patient takes a "fake" pill. Another study out of Harvard showed that people who were told their jobs qualified as exercise showed improved health and fitness markers compared to people who did the same job. Placebos even work when the person knows they're taking a placebo. It's called an "honest placebo" and is considered a legitimate, ethical treatment method for many ailments.

The researchers in 2014 wanted to find out if the placebo effect could also apply to sleep. So, they lectured a group of participants about the importance of REM sleep and how it can effect cognitive functioning. The participants were then split into two groups and monitored overnight while they slept. The next morning, one group was told they achieved 28.7% REM sleep, which is terrific, and the other group was told they only spent 16.2% of their sleep time in REM, which is below average. The numbers, however, were complete fiction.

Stunningly, the participants who believed they achieved top quality sleep performed better the next day on a series of arithmetic and word association tests compared to the other groups.

In their conclusion, the authors wrote, "These findings supported the hypothesis that mindset can influence cognitive states in both positive and negative directions, suggesting a means of controlling one's health and cognition."

According to Smithsonian Magazine, follow up experiments confirmed the findings.

The key to feeling great and performing as if you had a great night's sleep may lie in simply believing that you did.

There are a lot of ways to "placebo your sleep" in order to generate that belief. For starters, you can adopt a new routine or technique or even supplement in order to prime your brain.

John Cline Ph.D. asserts for Psychology Today that the popularity of sleeping aids like melatonin may be tied less to the fact that they work, and more to the fact that people believe they work. But you don't need to take any supplements or medications. Having a slow evening wind down with a book and an herbal tea, trying a new sleeping position, or practicing some measured breathing might work just as well. Or, rather, they might work precisely because you believe they will.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo Can a warm cup of tea help you sleep better? If you believe it, then yes. Photo by Dana Ciurumelea on Unsplash

You could take the concept a step further and alter your morning routine on nights you know for a fact you didn't sleep well. Perhaps it's by using a new coffee brand, doing some stretches before getting out of bed, or meditating before starting your day. Anything that you truly believe might help make you more alert and focused may just work.

One viral social media sleep trend capitalizes on this research perfectly. Researchers have shown that forcing your mouth into a smile has been shown to improve your mood. Turns out, similarly, you may be able to get sleepy by pretending to be super tired. Psychologist Erica Terblanche calls it the "alpha bridge," and it involves gently closing your eyes, fluttering them open just a tad, and then closing them again as you relax and breath. It simulates the feeling of "nodding off" and is said to create the alpha brainwaves that transition your brain from wakefulness to sleep. It's another clever way of tricking your own brain.


@erica.terblanche

Here's a skill to help you fall asleep on an airplane or anywhere else for that matter. . Its called going over the Alpha Bridge. #EricaTerblanche #ThriveGuru #motivation #sleeping

It sounds cheesy, but the power of mindset and positive thinking is truly tremendous. Our beliefs and thought patterns can greatly influence our body, our behavior, and our mood. Sometimes, our mindset can even be stronger than actual reality. Now we have the data to prove that it applies to our precious sleep, too.

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Culture

Gen Zer tries to dub Gen X 'the worst generation.' A Millennial hilariously shut them down.

"Gen X is Boomers if they knew how to turn a document into a PDF."

gen x, millennials, gen z, gen z vs gen x, gen z vs millennials, millennials vs gen x, generational humor
Photo credit: Canva

Gen X (left) and Gen Z (Right) may not understand each other, but a Millennial tries to help.

It's a tale as old as time: tension caused by generational differences. From Baby Boomers to the up-and-coming Gen Alpha, every generation seems to have a little bit of beef with the others—especially Gen Z.

Gen Z has claimed that Boomers are "angry". And Gen Zers are no longer subscribing to work burnout culture that Millennials did. And now, Gen Z has decided to come for Gen X.

One brave...or naive Gen Zer decided to declare that Gen X is "the worst generation" seemingly unprompted. But a Millennial quickly put them in their place.

@laurahigh5

Do you also like pissing off beelzebub for funzies? #genx #millennial #genz #generations #lol #joke #80s #vhs #movie #foryou #foryoupage #fyp #fypシ゚viral #fypage

In a stitched video, Millennial Laura High gave a succinct cliff's notes version of why it's best to not speak negative thoughts on Gen X aloud.

"I love Gen X. We all love Gen X...we all love Gen X," she said before bringing the camera close enough to whisper. "Okay here's the thing, you do not seem to understand who Gen X is, okay? Gen X is Boomers if they knew how to turn a document into a PDF, okay. They do not Karen out. They get quiet and they get revenge."

High then shared the secret kept by her generation: "we do not summon the latchkey kids unless it's our literal only last resort." She advised the unknowing Gen Zer to go to the edge of the woods to leave offerings to appease any Gen Xers that would likely be offended by the video.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Gen Z and Millennials respond

Commenters agreed with her sentiment.

"There is a reason millennials leave Gen X alone, and they learned it the hard way. My fellow Gen Z’s will learn soon… very soon," one commenter said..

"Elder Gen Z raised by two Gen X parents. I do NOT back the younger half of Gen Z on this. I’m running into the woods on their behalf and leaving Ferris Bueller for my dad and a DQ blizzard for my mom," another echoed.

"Last thing she will hear from the woods, Red Rover Red Rover, we call Karen Hashtag over," said a third.

"If you've never played Red Rover with Gen Xers, just know you were lucky to have your head still attached to your shoulders after the game was over. There were no tears allowed and no telling your parents, they were gone anyway. In short: Gen Xers are ruthless, and it's best not to cross them. Seriously."

Gen X responds

gen x, generation x, gen x couple, gen xers, gen x life A happy Gen X couple have patience for younger generations, like Gen Z.Photo credit: Canva

Thankfully, Gen Xers are also open to peace offerings (and humor). Here are a few of their suggestions:

"I will accept ding dongs (in original foil) and a VHS of 'the last star fighter' I will also except a mix tape if it include at mix of metal, new wave, and Yaz."

"We will also accept any of the original Star Wars trilogy, Star Trek 2, Raiders, or Die Hard…though John Hughes films will likely will be the safest choice."

"As an Elder Gen X (1971) I accept offerings of ice cold Boone's Farm and those little chocolate donuts in the plastic sleeve. Laura, you're safe. Gen Z? Run."

"We will also allow The Neverending Story 😂."

Moral of the story: tread lightly Gen Z. Tread very lightly. If you hear someone clinking together empty glass Coke bottles outside your door, do not come out and play. It's a trap.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Joy

Woman shares tattoo she got a week before COVID-19 that 'aged like milk' almost immediately

It seemed like a great idea at the time.

ppe, masks, medical masks, covid, tattoo, funny, humor, pandemic, viral videos
via wakaflockafloccar / TikTok

The timing of this woman's tattoo could not have been worse.

It's amazing to consider just how quickly the world changed in early 2020. One day, we were all just casually going along, living our lives. And then the next day, everything was different. If you were to have told someone in February of 2020 that the entire country would soon go on some form of lockdown, nearly everyone would be wearing a mask, and half a million people were going to die due to a virus, no one would have believed you.

Yet, it happened. And in addition to changing the world as we know it, it also sparked a sharp political and cultural divide here in the United States.

Leah Holland got one of the most poorly-timed tattoos ever

PPE masks were the last thing on Leah Holland of Georgetown, Kentucky's, mind on March 4, 2020, when she got a tattoo inspired by the words of a close friend.

"We were just talking about things we admire about each other and he said, 'You courageously and radically refuse to wear a mask,' like meaning that I'm undeniably myself. I thought that was a really poetic way of saying that," Holland told Fox 13.

So, she had "courageously & radically refuse to wear a mask" tattooed on her left forearm.

It's a beautiful sentiment about Leah's dedication to being her true self. It's also a reminder for Holland to remain true to herself throughout her life.

However, the tattoo would take on a very different meaning just two days later, when the first case of COVID-19 was reported in Kentucky. Almost immediately, everyone in the country was advised to wear masks whenever they left the house. Some refused, citing their own personal freedom to do with their body as they wish. Holland had, completely inadvertently, taken sides in a massive culture war with some simple black ink on her forearm.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

"It basically looked like I'm totally, you know, anti-mask or whatever, which is not the case," said Holland.

Now, she was embarrassed to be seen with the tattoo for fear she'd be associated with the anti-maskers who either deny the existence of the virus or refuse to wear a mask to protect others. Either way, it's a bad look.

So Leah started wearing long-sleeve shirts and cardigan sweaters whenever in public to cover up the tattoo.

TikTok users asked each other to share their 'dumbest tattoo'



@wakaflockafloccar

#stitch with @hannanicbic I could NOT have had worse timing. #fyp #foryoupage #tattoo #worsttattoo #winner P.S. I’m not anti-mask I promise 🤦🏻‍♀️

In her video response, she talks about how her tattoo was about "not pretending to be something you're not," but then revealed it to show how — in an incredibly ironic twist — it made her out to be someone she isn't. "I just kind of wanted people to laugh with me because I think it's funny now, too," said Holland. At least the tatoo was able to spark a little levity in some dark times.

Plenty of people on TikTok laughed along with her with one user suggesting she update the tattoo with the phrase: "Hindsight is 2020." Another playfully accused her of "jinxing" the world and causing the virus outbreak. Another suggested adding an asterisk and "except during COVID" to the tattoo.

Some commenters tried to make her feel better about her poorly-timed body art. "Maybe tattoo a pair of theatre masks (one smiling, the other crying) on top, but for now, wear a hoodie," one user wrote. "Don't worry, in 15 years it will have its original meaning again!" another added.

"I was dying laughing. I'm like, I'm glad there are people that find this as funny as I think it is," said Holland.

"It will be a funny story to tell years from now," she said. "I don't think it will ever not be a funny story."

covid, masks, surgical masks, pandemic masks, friends, ppe A group of friends chatting wearing masks.via Canva/Photos


As the pandemic abated, Holland still had to explain her tattoo. The risks associated with COVID have decreased, but a fierce debate still raged over personal freedom versus responsibility to the greater good. Should you wear a mask in public when you're sick? Should you ever be required to wear a mask? How do you balance individual rights with our need to live in a cooperative society? Most won't soon forget the COVID-19 era in America, and there's no doubt that many will still feel passionate about those who refused to wear masks. Just don't lump Holland in with that group because of a poorly timed, but quite beautiful, sentiment. She'd never wear a mask, unless it were to protect herself and others from a deadly virus.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Animals & Wildlife

Woman builds an elaborate hotel in her yard for stray cats in winter, and it's so cozy

People are calling it "Hotel Catifornia" and "The Fur Seasons."

cats, cat hotel, winter, stray cats, animal welfare
Photo credit: Canva

Stray cats don't always have warm places to shelter in wintry weather.

Wintery weather can be beautiful, but it can also be brutal when temperatures dip to frigid levels, not just for humans but for animals as well. Stray animals are generally pretty good at taking care of themselves, especially stray cats, but kind-hearted people still want to make sure they have a place to go to escape the elements when harsh conditions hit.

One woman took that desire to the next level with an elaborate cat apartment she built for the many stray cats in her neighborhood. We're not just talking about a shelter; it's like luxury hotel living for her feline friends. The apartment has multiple rooms, cushy blankets that get taken out and cleaned, and even a temperature-controlled water source so they're always able to find drinking water in below-freezing temps.

Check this out:

The woman who built the apartment actually lives in China and was sharing her videos on TikTok, but it seems her account has since been deactivated. This hasn't stopped people from talking about her and her impressive project, though. This thread on TikTok contains updates about the cat hotel from people finding and reposting the adorable story.

Welcome to the Meowtel Catifornia

Of course, the clever hotel jokes and puns started rolling in first thing:

'Welcome to the hotel catifornia."

"Such a lovely place."

"They can check out any time but they won't ever leave."

"I prefer Hotel Calicofornia."

"Meowriott."

"Given my skill, mine would be more like Meowtel 6."

"Pawliday Inn.'

"The Fur Seasons."'

"Meowne Plaza."

@linette303z

Building house for stray cats #fory #fyp #wild #nature #animals

People loved seeing the care and ingenuity she put into the "meowtel," as well as how happy the cats seem with the arrangement. In fact, some people were sure their own house cats would move out just to go live in this kind of cat commune.

"My cat just looked at me and sighed…"

"All the neighbours be looking for their cats and they’ve bailed to live at the kitty motel."

"They’d pack their little bags and move in without a second thought."

"They wouldn't even wait to pack their bags."

"Alright Carol it’s been real but we’re gonna head out. Found a great deal on a luxury apartment so yanno… take care."

Cats live where they want, when they want

Those people may have been joking, but several others shared that their cats really did ditch them to go live with neighbors who had more desirable living situations.

"I’ve had two cats do this. One was annoyed at our second dog’s puppy energy so she moved in with an older lady a street over. We used to see her all the time until she passed. The other missed our kids being little so she moved next door where there’s a little girl. We talked to both neighbors and said if they get sick of them to let us know and we’ll take them back but both lived the rest of their lives with their new families."

cats, cat hotel, winter, stray cats, animal welfare Some stray cats wander from home to home like a drifter. Photo credit: Canva

"One of our cats moved next door because he loves children and wanted to be with the little girl next door. Because it’s a very small village, he goes to the school most days to wait for her and they come home together. School is 3 buildings away."

"We had a cat do the same thing about 20 years ago. She hated the barks of our new puppy and would put her paw on his mouth to try and stop it. One day, she slipped outside and I found her a month later, two streets over, hanging with a couple who didn’t have a dog. They said she just showed up at the door and moved in. I gave them all her cat food and hope she had a nice quiet life."

Is it a bad idea to feed and shelter stray cats?

People have differing opinions about whether it's good to feed stray cats or not, as cats can cause problems for local wildlife, and it's not great to encourage an increasing stray cat population. According to Catster, in the United States alone, an estimated four billion birds and 22 billion mammals (such as mice, voles, rabbits, and shrews) are killed annually by both domestic and stray cats. In Canada, cats are the number one killer of birds, killing "between 100 and 350 million birds every year." These numbers are staggering, but the bird and small mammal populations can be protected if stray cats are cared for responsibly: namely, spaying and neutering those in your area to cut down on the population and finding homes for those who are friendly and comfortable with humans.

cats, cat hotel, winter, stray cats, animal welfare Stray cats should be spayed and neutered. Photo credit: Canva

According to the Feral Cat Coalition of Oregon, here are the best practices for feral and stray cats:

- Spay/neuter to prevent additional litters

- Find homes for friendly cats

- Feed outdoor cats on a schedule

- Remove food & dishes when they are done eating

- Pick up scraps and keep the feeding area tidy

- Provide fresh water

- Provide a warm place for the cats to sleep

So, go ahead and care for those kitties and keep them warm through the winter, just make sure they can't make any more kittens.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Pop Culture

A nail salon's ads are so funny people are taking road trips to Canada just for a manicure

He puts a new twist on videos we all love.

nail salon ad; funny nail salon ad; Henry Pro Nails videos; viral videos; canada manicure; canadian nail tech
Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there, and without word-of-mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, many businesses can advertise their services without spending much on traditional marketing like television, billboards, and radio. Using pictures and videos of their amazing work to market can help maintain a steady flow of customers, but one Canadian nail salon is taking a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails which started in Toronto, Canada, is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video uses the beginnings of several viral clips, but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in to complete the viral moment in hilarious, unexpected ways.

HenryProNails takes viral videos and turns them into funny marketing

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears, lying out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, red nail polish, manicure, hands A woman getting her nails painted.via Canva/Photos


In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative, and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet-famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this one is, without a doubt, his most popular—and effective.

People love Henry's videos

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours, and it's only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately, it made all other places disappointing, and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.


In another hilarious video, Henry urges a woman not to divorce her husband for not cooking her dinner, but instead to come get her nails done so she'll feel a lot better.


Henry also jumped onto the "very demure, very mindful" trend on TikTok with his own take on the phrase.



It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what keeps them coming back. If you're ever in Canada and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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