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'I wanted to age gracefully': Chili Peppers’ Flea on how quitting drugs led to amazing changes

Quitting drugs helped him with his anxiety and panic attacks.

via Stefan Brending/Wikimedia Commons

Flea playing with the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2016.

Sixty-one-year-old Michael Balzary, better known as Flea to his legions of fans, has led an unbelievable life as the bass player in the Red Hot Chili Peppers, one of the wildest and most popular bands of the past four decades.

Unfortunately, his life has also been disrupted countless times by people close to him dying of addiction. Notably, Flea lost Chilli Pepper’s guitar player, Hillel Slovak, to addiction in 1988, as well as his friend, actor River Phoenix, in 1993.

His bandmates, guitarist John Frusciante and singer Anthony Kiedis, have also struggled with drug abuse throughout their lives. Flea himself started using drugs at the age of 11 and had done everything by the time he stopped at 30.


In 2020, Flea gave a revealing interview where he explained how he was able to stop doing illegal narcotics at the age of 30 in 1993 and how it enabled him to confront his crippling anxiety and panic attacks.

He also discussed his inspiration for getting clean: aging gracefully.

Flea’s big reason for wanting to get clean at 30 seems a little out of place for a rock star. His choice to age gracefully opposes the adage: live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

“My only advice is to age gracefully; it is such a great aspiration to have,” Flea said. “And luckily, around that age, I wanted to age gracefully. I wanted to be able to be an elderly person with a light on. I wanted to keep growing. I loved Duke Ellington. I wanted to try to keep reinventing to be a humble student all my life. So, I guess my advice is to try to love yourself.”

He also shared how, after getting off drugs, he was able to work on his anxiety. During this process,he realized that to be compassionate and grow, you have to embrace all of your feelings—even the ones you wish you didn’t have.

“When I stopped doing drugs, I wanted to feel everything. I wanted to feel all the pain, all the suffering, all the anxiety because I knew that the only way that I was going to grow was to feel it. I know that we all yearn to be as deep, kind, compassionate, and as good as we can be, and the only way to be that is to feel your pain, sit there, and let it wash over you,” Flea said. “I'm not a religious man … but I believe in God, and I pray and when I'm hurting and I feel terrible, I get on my knees and I say ‘Dear God, give me some more. Thank you.’ … I know that within my suffering I will grow, and that was a huge thing to realize.”



After a 2015 snowboarding accident where he broke his arm and required surgery, Flea was prescribed a 2-month supply of OxyContin, and he went through the same numbing experience he had 22 years before and knew he didn’t want anymore. After a month, he stopped taking the pills for his pain.

Ultimately, Flea believes that drugs rob people of something vital to his life and musical expression: an honest connection to the world. “I'm doing drugs and it was like, ‘Whoa, you know I'm in this rarefied air now,’ and it's really like it's just an old and pathetic story,” he admits. “The opportunity to be straight and to actually connect with people in true ways and to be willing to feel lonely and to be patient enough to have a real, actual honest communication whether it means going to get a taco and looking at the woman who gives it to you and smiling at her and her smiling back and you're actually sharing a beautiful moment. Those are the little triumphs that for me make not being on drugs the greatest thing.”

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Joy

95-year-old British Gran has powerful advice for dealing with depression

A gem of wisdom made even better with a delightfully charming accent.

Photo credit: Canva

This is advice we could all use from time to time.

We know how important it is to stay in the present moment. And we know that having grounding tools, such as simple breathing exercises, are crucial to keep us in the present moment during times of stress. But sometimes, when the intrusive thoughts become too loud, we forget how healing the present moment can be, or how to access it.

And that’s when a kind word from a loved one can make all the difference.

It certainly did for 29-year-old Christina Symes, an artist living with her 95-year-old grandmother, aka “gran,” in London. Gran’s advice was so powerful that Symes shared it in a TikTok, which has since gone viral at 3 million views.

Symes told Newsweek that even as a child, before social media, Gran would send her “comforting” tapes of her talking or reading stories out loud. And Symes routinely records whatever advice Gran gives to listen to in the future because “what she says can be so poignant.”

A few years ago, Symes moved in with Gran after she became housebound, leading to more insightful chats.

Symes, who had been struggling with depression and anxiety, also developed agoraphobia after experiencing the death of a close relative and the breakdown of a 10-year relationship.

depression, agoraphobia, anxietyAll you have to do is take it one step at a time. Photo credit: Canva

Understandably, she was having a hard time navigating this difficult chapter, and sought Gran’s advice once more. And here’s what Gran had to say:

"Look at yourself in the mirror, wash your face, put your makeup on, put your clothes on and then say, What must I do next? I must have a little breakfast, or I must have a cup of tea, and then I will start to do this little thing that needs doing.”

Once that little thing is done, even if it took a couple of hours to get done, gran says to give yourself a reward for having done it. Her reward of choice: another cup of tea.

"I deserve it because I've done those things, and I can take pride in the fact you've done them. Never mind about what else has happened years ago, what's going to happen in the future.”

Did we mention that this advice is made all the more wholesome with Gran’s british accent? It really does hit the spot like a nice cuppa tea.

Watch below:


@cjsymes_ One step at a time ❤️ #motivation #advice #wisdom #inspiration #grandma #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #agoraphobia ♬ where is my mind (piano version) - your movie soundtrack

The advice seemed to resonate with Symes, who told Newsweek "Often, when I think of everything as a whole, it feels far too overwhelming, and I end up not being able to do anything," she said.

"Whereas if it's broken down into small steps with little rewards afterwards, as my gran mentions, it can feel more manageable. Then, the little steps in turn lead to bigger steps, and more progress can be made. Sometimes the most important advice can be the most simple advice.”

The clip, appropriately captioned “one step at a time,” definitely resonated with others as well, who shared truly lovely comments.

“As a psychiatric nurse, she’s right, take it slow, hour by hour. Be compassionate [to] yourself and set attainable goals.”

“When she said ‘I deserve it’ I broke because not one part of me believes I do, no matter how much I do or how hard I work,I’m not sure I ever will.”

“I am almost 10 years in recovery of my agoraphobia and this resonated with me so much. Am in tears. We DO deserve that reward. Thank you.”

“I feel like writing ‘what must I do next?’ on my mirror now.”

“I cried at this. I’m going to get up and have a bath, and then I’m going to do my hair and makeup for the first time in months.”

No matter what you might be struggling with, take it from gran: take it slow, give yourself grace, and please, have that tea.

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Pop Culture

Weatherman had 2 panic attacks on live TV and people are praising him for how he handled them

He got help, and now he’s sharing his story.

via Michael Belka/Wikimedia Commons

A weather man performing on a news set.

Nate Byrne, the weatherman on “The ABC News Breakfast,” had an unimaginably terrible experience in 2022 when he suffered 2 panic attacks on live TV on the same day. He believes the first attack was triggered by being a little late to the set for his segment and having to rush.

“As I stood there under the studio lights, talking to people having their morning coffee and wiping sleep from their eyes, my heart was racing, I was gasping for breath and sweat was pouring out of every pore as my brain screamed ‘RUN!’” he later recalled.

Byrne kept his composure and finished his segment. However, 15 minutes later, he was back on the air and had another panic attack. He went to a doctor that day who prescribed beta blockers, which reduced his symptoms temporarily.

People praised Byrne for how he handled the terrifying experience in front of a live audience. “Nate handled it extremely well,” one X user wrote. “Nate is an amazing person to take this step to share with the community the various impacts anxiety can make to our lives,” another X user added. “Well done, Nate!”

While some public figures would keep quiet about their panic attacks, Byrne has gone public to create awareness about anxiety. In a special segment for ABC’s Anxiety Project Byrne spoke with Psychologist Jody Lowinger about the cause of panic attacks.

"Our brain is wired to self-protect, but it's not so great at differentiating between perceived threat and real threat,” Lowinger explained. “So, the physiological experiences that you're experiencing, that rapid shallow breathing, that rapid heart rate, and the sweatiness are all there to help us in the case that we need to run or fight. But in the case of this situation, when it's responding to that magnificent, active mind that you have, it's not very helpful."


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Joy

Flight attendant sits on the floor the entire flight to comfort distressed passenger

“He explained every sound and bump.”

Courtesy of Molly Simonson Lee

Flight attendant sits on floor to comfort passenger

Not everyone enjoys flying. The level of non-enjoyment can range from mild discomfort to full blown Aerophobia, which is defined as an extreme fear of flying. While flying is the quickest way to get to far away destinations, for some people being that far off the ground is terrifying and they'd rather take their chances on the ground.

A passenger flying from Charlotte-Douglas International Airport in North Carolina to JFK International Airport in New York confronted that fear while flying with Delta. The woman, who is currently still unidentified expressed that she was nervous to fly according to Molly Simonson Lee, a passenger seated behind the woman who witnessed the encounter. Tight spaces don't make for much privacy, but in this case, the world is better for knowing this took place.


According to Lee, who posted about the exchange on Facebook, the Delta flight attendant, Floyd Dean-Shannon, took his time to give the nervous traveler his undivided attention. Lee told Upworthy the unidentified passenger, "was very nervous and even before the plane took off, she was visibly shaken by each sound."

Approximately 25 million people in the United States have Aerophobia according to the Clevland Clinic and most of them probably wish Dean-Shannon was on their flights. "He took notice and began explaining what each [sound] was, with the warmest, calmest tone," Lee said. That wasn't even the most amazingly sweet part of the story.

While the explanation of noises helped, Lee said about halfway through the flight the passenger was fighting back tears, which prompted Dean-Shannon to sit on the floor and hold the frightened passenger's hand. He comforted her for the rest of the flight while sitting on the floor. "His tone was so kind and soothing," according to Lee.

Dean-Shannon's kindness didn't stop there. Lee explained, "the woman next to me was celebrating a birthday and he sang to her and made her a 'cake' with all of the goodies he could round up."

I'm not sure what Delta pays him but he needs a raise immediately and it seems the people of the interwebs agree.

Commenter, Miranda Anderson, tagged Delta Airlines and wrote, "I hope you see this! These are the types of people that deserve raises and make your company worth flying with. This is what pits [sic] you above the others so show these employees this is what you want and what you need."

"I love this. This is what society is lacking. Empathy and kindness towards people in time[s] of need" wrote Diane Lawrence.

While Mary Beth Acker Ford, said, "I was on a flight with him today. He exudes joy and is intentional about making a connection with each person!"

This level of engagement with passengers is not a common experience but clearly people are happy to see this type of connection between humans. Flying anywhere can be stressful for any amount of reasons. From leaving the house late and having to participate in an involuntary 5k to catch your flight, to making your way through the devil's backyard, also known as Atlanta International Airport...just for them to change your gate 10 minutes before boarding.

So having a flight attendant like Dean-Shannon is just the breath of fresh air people need. "The way he's looking at her...letting her know she's safe!!! This is just one of the many reasons I will always fly Delta Air Lines," Liz Martin wrote in the comments.

"It was obvious he is just a good, kind soul who shares that generously with everyone he encounters. Such kindness is rare and a true gift when encountered," Lee remarked. That level of kindness is rare indeed and we sure are happy someone thought to capture it.


This article originally appeared on 01.19.23

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