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anxiety

Pop Culture

'Just keep looking at it'. Tom Cruise's advice for overcoming social anxiety is actually spot on.

His advice helped his Mission impossible co-star Haley Atwell through some tough times.

Fandom.com

A still from 'Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning."

Not only can Tom Cruise do his own stunts, he's pretty good at giving pep talks too. At least, according to his Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One co-star, Haley Atwell. While promoting the film earlier this year on the Reign with Josh Smith, Atwell revealed that she, like so many of us, struggles with social anxiety, which often overwhelms her and makes her want to retreat.

But she was saved by incredibly insightful advice from Tom Cruise, which she imparts to the audience. After describing him as a positive "hair dryer" just blowing his positive energy around, Josh asks, "What's the best pep talk he's given you?" Haley answers, "Social anxiety tends to be something that people talk about a lot at the moment. It seems to be quite a buzzword of conversation."

They both agree that everyone has some version of anxiety, whether it's in a big group of people, a new work environment, or even just around a small group of friends. She confesses, "For me, I start to retreat into myself and overthink. 'Do I look weird? Do I seem awkward?' I'm not speaking, I'm just muffling my words or I need something to numb me from this.'"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Luckily, Cruise has quite a simple way to combat these feelings. "The pep talk he gave me helps, which is that if you walk into a room and feel the anxieties coming, try doing the opposite. Try to look OUT and look around the room and go, 'Where is it? Where is the thing I have attached to my insecurity?'"

The idea is to pinpoint the place where her (or any of our) anxiety might be rooted. "Is it that person over there who reminds me of my high school bully? Is it that person over there who didn't give me a job once?" Once the source is recognized, if possible, Cruise suggests asking yourself, "Where does it live outside of me, and where do I feel like the source might be coming from?"

Haley emphasizes that examining her fear, which Cruise encourages, truly helps the anxiety subside. She continues, "If I look at it for long enough, the anxiety then can have a name. It can have a label and be contained, instead of free-floating, where I'm just in a total struggle internally with my own anxiety." Seeing through this prism, she shares, "If I’m scared of something, if I keep looking at it long enough, it tends to not be the monster under the bed anymore."

Tom Cruise, actor, social anxiety, advice, mental health, haley atwell, mission impossible, anxiety A photo of Haley Atwell at an event.commons.wikimedia.org

Naming the emotion, whether it's jealousy, loneliness, etc., can help you outwardly address it so that it doesn't fester in your mind. She reiterates Cruise's words: "If you're scared of something, just keep looking at it. Try not to look away, and it will often give you information about how to overcome it."

Cruise's advice isn't all that different from many professional therapists. In the blog post, "How to overcome social anxiety: 8 tips and strategies" (clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA, for Calm.com,) ideas on how to overcome social anxiety are given and number one on the list could have been written by Cruise himself: "Identify your triggers," they write, explaining, "The first step to managing social anxiety is understanding what sparks it. Triggers can be unique to each person. Some might find large gatherings intimidating, while for others, it might be public speaking. To identify your triggers, keep a journal of your feelings and the situations that make you anxious. Recognizing these triggers is a crucial step in managing your reactions to them."

They also suggest, among other ideas, breathing techniques such as the 4-7-8 method: breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 7, and breathing out for 8. They also advise "challenging negative thought patterns." They explain, "Practice challenging these thoughts. Ask yourself: 'Is this thought based on facts or feelings? What's the best thing that could happen?' Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can help reduce feelings of anxiety."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Whether you take the advice from therapists or Tom Cruise, the takeaway remains more or less the same. Take your time to identify the source of what's triggering you. Great to know that what works for Ethan Hunt can works for the rest of us.

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celebrity

Mental Health

I talk to myself out loud a LOT and thought something was wrong with me. Turns out it's perfectly normal.

"I have fake conversations with people in my life and celebrities."

Canva

A woman talks to herself on her couch.

Ever since I can remember, I've had conversations with myself…out loud. Not always at top volume. Perhaps, at times, in a whisper. But definitely not just an inner monologue. Usually, I don't even realize I'm doing it until a good five minutes in. Sometimes it's an argument with a friend, but there are times it's just basic chitchat with a person who's very famous.

It will go something like this: "Oh, thanks for asking, Oprah. My favorite sweater this season is the Dior cashmere. In fact, all of you get one under your seats!" Sometimes, I'm on a political talk show: "And another thing about Keynesian economics," I'll argue with…could be anyone. Tucker Carlson. Anderson Cooper. Rachel Maddow.

Oprah, Oprah Winfrey, self talk, talk show, gif Oprah Winfrey is very excited. Giphy

Maybe the most interesting part? I get so lost in these moments, my body reacts to them as though they're really happening. If I'm fighting with an invisible person, I feel rage. If someone, like let's say Ewan McGregor, is proposing marriage, I feel glee.

I've always assumed this to be odd behavior, to say the least. But it turns out, according to research, it is quite common and can actually even be healthy. In the article "The Surprising Benefits of Talking Out Loud to Yourself" by health and wellness editor for Time Magazine, Angela Haupt, psychology professor Gary Lupyan is cited, saying, "Talking out loud to yourself is perfectly normal—and even beneficial. It can facilitate problem-solving and improve how well you perform at a task."

Haupt also notes that talking out loud can be a big motivator. In sharing another study which researched the effect self-talk had on basketball players, she discusses how it can keep a person "focused, especially in a situation that requires lots of different steps."

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But for me, it hasn't been about motivation. It's more the idea of self-regulating when I feel anxious, which is often. The article shares the ideas of psychology professor Thomas Brinthaupt, writing, "Studies have found that when you’re anxious or experiencing, for example, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, you’re much more likely to talk to yourself. Upsetting or disturbing experiences make people want to resolve or understand them—and self-talk is a tool that helps them do so."

I don't just do it when I'm stressed. On the contrary, it's often as if there's a storybook I've written in my head and I'm merely reading it out loud. (Like accepting someone's dazzling marriage proposal or nailing "Purple Rain" at karaoke.) Some could argue that this is a form of dissociation—and that's true. But for me, sometimes, that "other world" is where I'd prefer to be.

@thecarlinfamily
Should we call Hollywood?!😂 #fyp #funny #cutetoddler #viral #trending #foryou #comedy #happy #4u #foryoupage #trend

It's quite the popular topic on Reddit. On the thread, "Talking to yourself out loud," the OP writes, "I live alone and talking to myself out loud is helpful to clear my thoughts and slow my thinking down. It helps me ‘get my feelings out’ too—a bit like journaling or writing them down. Do you talk to yourself? About what? When? Curious to learn how many people do this, or on the other side—find it strange. Like, does anyone living alone not do this?"

There are hundreds of comments from those who do the same thing. One suggests, "I do this as a form of self-therapy. I record and talk for an hour without realizing. One of my greatest coping mechanisms."

This person does exactly what I do: "Always. I also have fake conversations with people in my life and celebrities. It’s super cathartic. I also work from home—so I have a fairly isolated life. There have been a few times I started talking out loud to myself when I have had people at my home or at the grocery store."

Comedian Jeff Scheen jokes about talking out loud. www.youtube.com, Jeff Scheen

In the subreddit r/ADHD, some even identify this behavior as a symptom. As someone who was recently diagnosed (as many of us have been) with ADHD, I found this extra fascinating. Here, the original poster writes in part, "One thing I've done is talked to myself. A lot. I'm not talking about just saying 'Whoops, dropped my keys.' I have full, extended conversations with myself, discussing the intricacies of an idea. I'll often pace through the house, talking to myself about an idea I have for a book, or acting out an interview like I was a famous actor, or explaining to an invisible friend what ADHD is."

Quite interestingly, they continue, "The closest term I've found is "maladaptive daydreaming.' It definitely gets in the way of things I'm doing, and it's never the same thing every time. I'd just, for example, see a picture of a musician I look up to and start vocally daydreaming about being a famous musician. It never gets to the point where they become delusions that I believe are true, but it does consume an awful lot of my time."

Again, many comment that they too experience this and that it's a healthy form of regulation and self-therapy. Others back up the notion that, indeed, it can be "an ADHD thing."

"YES! IT IS AN ADHD THING! Here's Russell Barkley talking about the five executive deficits that people with ADHD have, and internal self-talk is one of them."

Russell Barkley speaks about ADHD symptoms. www.youtube.com, ADHD videos

Whether it is ADHD, anxiety, or just a wild imagination, it's nice to learn that having full conversations with no one is perfectly normal. Hearing other people's stories makes me feel seen...or I guess in this case—heard.

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self care

Public Health

People are finally discussing the secret etiquette of pooping at someone else's house

Is the courtesy flush polite or a waste of water?

Canva Photos

Lighting a candle? That's basic compared to these advanced tips.

Poop anxiety isn't the most heavily studied medical field, but some estimates say up to a third of people suffer from some kind of anxiety around going to the bathroom in a public place or another person's home. On the low end, they can feel ashamed or embarrassed. At the higher end, they may avoid social functions, public events, or leaving their own home entirely. This phenomenon also tends to affect women more than men. For some people, the worry gets so bad that they constipate themselves or refuse to eat, all because they're worried of what people will think of them.

But you don't have to have extreme "shy bowel" to know the uncertainty associated with feeling a rumbly tummy while you're a guest in someone's house. There are a lot of unknowns to manage. How good is their soundproofing? Does their toilet actually flush properly? Will someone be waiting to go in right after me? Some people anticipate these worries and come up with elaborate rules and routines to leave as little evidence of their go as possible.

A guy took a simple question to social media: Should you always courtesy flush when you're a guest in someone's house? The answer sparked a huge debate about the secret etiquette of public pooping.

poop, bathroom, cat, funny, humor, toilet Cat Closing GIF Giphy

In a thread on the subreddit r/NoStupidQuestions, the OP asked: "My mother tells me that at other people's houses, when going to the bathroom, it's expected to do a 'courtesy flush'. Is this a real thing?"

For the uninitiated, a courtesy flush is when you flush halfway through your "go." The thinking is that it helps get rid of odors before they build up. Not only did the poster's mother advocate for courtesy flushing, she insisted on a very specific ritual when visiting other people's homes:

Always carry Poopurri and spray before you go
Flush halfway through your session
Flush at the end (obviously)
Clean toilet bowl with wand...every time!

If it sounds a little extreme to you, you're not alone.

However, some commenters were extremely pro-courtesy flush.

toilet, bathroom, home, hygiene, cleaning, etiquette White ceramic toilet bowl with lid up. Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

"That’s good advice. First flush on delivery, second flush with clean up. Reduces odor and skid marks."

A few people noted that the courtesy flush is common in jails and prisons, of all places. Due to the tight (extremely tight) quarters, inmates are encouraged to repeatedly flush while they go. I don't want to know what the consequence might be for violating this code.

Others claimed the courtesy flush was a waste of water:

"Flushing twice seems very wasteful in my opinion. I would not like a guest to do that."

"No, please don't waste my water. But do make sure everything goes down."

"If someone did that at my house I'd be low key annoyed at them for wasting water."

Experts agree that the effectiveness of the courtesy flush is very much up for debate. Does it mildly lessen odor? Maybe. It's also a gigantic waste of water. Older toilets can use up to six gallons per flush—yikes! An extra flush is also questionable at best when it comes to sanitation—flushing poop with the lid open is known to spray bacteria all over the bathroom. Yuck.

"Everyone poops, I don't want my guests worrying about it," wrote one commenter. "Crack a window if it's like, lethally stinky, I guess. If you clog the toilet, the plunger is in a plastic tub right there. If you need help, cool, now we have a funny story."

The courtesy flush, however, was only the beginning of the OP's tips for pooping in public.

- YouTube youtu.be

Some commenters were on board with OP's mother's idea of using the toilet brush if it's available:

"If there's some brown stuck to the porcelain after I flush, and if there's a toilet brush on hand, I give it a quick cleaning and a second flush. But not if things look clean otherwise," someone wrote.

Another commenter had an even more advanced idea: "You can also float a strip of toilet paper on top of the water before you poo. Gets wrapped in paper as you drop off your delivery and less likely to leave skid marks in the bowl."

Of course, commenters in threads all over the Internet sing the praises of Poo-Pourri, or even carrying a lighter with you at all times to burn up some of the stinky oxygen. And how's this for a pro-level tip?

"Tip for the courtesy flush.. if one who finds it hard to poop in a public bathroom because you don’t want people to hear you. Flush just right before you push and the sound of the water will cover the sound of gas etc and it will go right down with the water so very minimal smell."

I mean, all you can do really is clap at the social-anxiety-fueled ingenuity on display. The experts seem to agree here. Even Healthline recommends carrying air purifier spray, lining the inside of the bowl with toilet paper to absorb sound, and flushing several times to reduce anxiety worries.

The general consensus is that, when pooping at someone's house, basic etiquette applies. Clean up after yourself to a normal degree, but remember, as the saying goes: Everybody poops.

Some people are really protective over the bathrooms in their homes, which is their right. But if that's the case, they really shouldn't be having guests over and expecting them not to partake in normal human biological behaviors.

Some of the advanced tips shared by anxious-pooers might help, but try not to send yourself into a tailspin trying to cover your tracks. In extreme cases of bathroom anxiety, experts say cognitive behavior therapy or even antidepressants may be needed. But the rest of us might just need to read that world famous children's book again.

This article originally appeared in March.

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pooping

Modern Families

People are praising 96-year-old grandma's advice to 'separate your actions from your feelings'

"Don't lie to yourself by using your feelings as an excuse."

Image via Canva

96-year-old grandma gives advice on separating actions from feelings to accomplish goals.

The Silent Generation, those born from between 1928 and 1945, is made up of people who lived through the Great Depression and World War II. Defined by living through these hardships, their strength and perseverance continues to inspire younger generations today--including Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Alpha.

Over on Reddit in a subforum discussing how to become more disciplined, member Limp_Edu4797 shared an impactful piece of advice from his 96-year-old grandma on not letting feelings and emotions get in the way of remaining disciplined and working through hard things.

In the post, he shared: "For a long time, I was stuck in this cycle where I'd only be productive when I felt like it. If I was in a bad mood, I'd tell myself to wait until tomorrow. When I was tired, I'd take a Netflix break. If I was stressed about something, I'd procrastinate until my headspace cleared up," he wrote. "One day, my grandma was watching me complain about how I couldn't get anything done because I was 'too anxious' about some work project."

feelings, emotions, stress, anxiety, anxious Abc Reaction GIF by The Bachelorette Giphy

He goes on to explain that while he was expecting his grandma to have more sympathy for him, she instead offered him hard-hitting advice from her own life experience. He continued, "She just looked at me and said, 'You know, during the war, we didn't have the luxury of waiting until we felt good to do what needed doing.' Then she told me something I'll never forget: 'You need to separate your actions from your feelings!'"

He adds that his grandma notices young people these days "think their feelings and their actions are married to each other. Happy means productive, sad means lazy, scared means stop. But that's just a story we tell ourselves."

It's a lot different from how she experienced life. She told him, "I didn't feel like rationing food or working on the farm. But I did it anyway. Not because I ignored my feelings, but because I did it WITH my feelings."

do it, action, feel your feelings, keep going, perservere Yes You Can Lets Go GIF by Bridge and Tunnel on EPIX Giphy

When he tried to explain that things these days are just different, she didn't argue with him. "She just nodded and said, 'You're probably right. But here's what I learned: don't lie to yourself by using your feelings as an excuse. Don't say: I'm stressed, so I can't do it.' She told me to change the narrative and tell myself: 'I'm stressed, that's fine, so I'll do it stressed.'"

Her wise words are resonating with younger generations online. "I didn't know I needed this today. Thank you. Your grammas words are hitting hard for me this morning and I appreciate it! Fell all your feelings, they're valid, but stay disciplined with those feelings. Not in spite of them," one commented.

focus, stay focused, disciplined, stay disciplined, be disciplined Tiffany Haddish Goals GIF by BuzzFeed Giphy

Another wrote, "I think this is the root of many differences between our newer generations and our older ones. We are swung far in the direction of acknowledging our feelings, validating them, etc.—so far, perhaps, that we have arrived in a place where feelings dictate our actions. That’s what you’re describing. There’s a happy medium, and it’s required for healthy functioning adults. Sometimes situations warrant being overridden by emotion. Most don’t. You get to/have to choose what kind of person to be."

Another quipped, "I Can Do it With a Broken Heart but make it depression era," referencing the Taylor Swift hit.

taylor swift, taylor swift song, i can do it with a broken heart, t swift, taylor swift gif Broken Heart Dancing GIF by Taylor Swift Giphy

Others were slightly skeptical of the advice she gave. "I get the validity in this, truly. But, we’ve also acknowledged how their stiff approach harbors trauma responses that can last generations. It’s okay to have hard feelings. We can acknowledge them, but she is right to encourage you to keep moving forward. But, we should always listen to our bodies and see where that feeling is coming from," another shared.

Ultimately, many appreciated the focus on re-framing your mindset to accomplish goals and remain disciplined. Another commented, "So much to 'discipline' is what????? The mental game. There are lots of ways to attack the mental game. At the core is…re-framing….reframing our mindset, how we look at, process our thoughts, approach to things we know we should do, want to, but don’t. Grandma was on to something with her 'separate' feelings from actions approach."

From Your Site Articles

life advice

Parenting

21 anonymous parents confess how they're battling burnout by any means possible

"I throw out my kids' crafts and I don't feel bad about it."

Canva Photos & Skylight

Parents are really struggling, and they're confessing the little ways they get by under all the pressure.

I was trying to make a dentist appointment for my two kids last week. Or, rather, I was trying to reschedule a dentist appointment. I'd made one six months ago at their last visit for a day and time that seemed to make sense, but that was basically an educated guess at best. Six months might as well be six years ago! I had no idea what our schedule would be so far in the future, so I did my best. But now it was time to move it, of course, because I had been completely wrong.

I called the office, but no answer. Called again, no answer. Left a message, no call back. Finally, I was able to get a hold of someone through the office's text line. They offered up some new dates and times, which was great. So, I went to check our calendar.

Day 1 didn't work because of back to school "sneak previews." The timing on Day 2 didn't work because my youngest isn't allowed to show up to daycare summer camp past 11 (don't even get me started). Day 3 didn't work because the plumber was scheduled to come that morning. Day 4 didn't work because I had a dentist appointment of my own! I thought day 5 might be a winner, but then my wife reminded me that it was the second day of school—and we couldn't take our kids out of school on their second day of both starting new schools!

In the end, honestly, I just gave up. I needed a break. I had other things to do and my brain was starting to hurt. Plus, I'd already spent what felt like hours on this allegedly simple task.

So, my confession as a dad is that my kids are currently overdue for the dentist, and making them a new appointment is still pending on my To-Do list, because I literally just can't right now. Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels that way.

The folks at Skylight have been collecting confessions from anonymous parents, who share how they're surviving the chaos: Whether it's taking shortcuts, telling little white lies, or just feeling guilty for always falling short. Whatever it is, these parents are doing their best and still struggling.

But that doesn't mean that some of the confessions aren't hilarious. Others are incredibly moving. Overall, it's the perfect picture of the joy, the love, and the anxious guilt that all come together to make up modern parenting.

Yes, people knowingly sign up for this when they have kids, but it's impossible to know just how difficult and frustrating it can be before you're in the thick of it every day. It's also awesome and so fun and joyful! That's the beauty of it all.

Here are some of the best responses from Skylight's anonymous confessions.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "Sometimes I book a babysitter just so I can drive around in my car alone."Skylight

"I skip pages at bedtime stories." —Dad, 33

"There's a 50/50 shot I forget it's early dismissal. " —Dad, 48

"Still haven't unpacked their backpacks from June. Should be fun." —Dad, 41

"Whenever I want time alone I tell the kids I'm planning Christmas. Even if its March. " —Mom, 45

"I never filled out my kid's baby books. " —Mom, 29

"I throw out my kid's crafts and I don’t feel bad about it. " —Mom, 44

I relate to so many of these, so much so that it hurts. As I'm writing this, there is a cardboard box in my garage filled with just a year's worth of my kids artwork, school papers, and crafts. The box is overflowing and I keep having ideas of sorting through it so I can save the really good stuff, but I just can't get around to it. Literally, I can barely get to the box because it's buried under a ton of other junk I have to sort through!

In my house, we've all but given up saving new artwork unless it's really special, and most of what's in the box will probably be thrown away. I feel guilty as hell about it but I just can't create more hours in the day to deal with it.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "I secretly prayed my kid's Little League team would lose."Skylight

Here are some more good ones:

"Sometimes when my children are fighting I just let them have it out and continue to read my books." —Mom, 37

"I tell my kids I'm going in my room to work, and not to interrupt. When in fact I am eating ice cream and watching my show." —Mom, 36

"If we don’t have cash in the house for the tooth fairy, we use money from their piggy bank." —Dad, 35

"I tell my kids I’m studying, but really I’m reading my spicy book. " —Mom, 42

"That cute, smiling picture I posted on IG? My toddler was having a full blown meltdown and the only reason she smiled was because I sang Baby Shark." —Mom, 33

"I’m never sad when a practice or game canceled for rain or heat!" —Mom, 39

As a travel soccer family, I can definitely relate to the sweet relief of a cancelled practice. Our daughter goes about three times per week year round, which is an enormous time commitment. The practices are usually in the evenings around dinner time, and we have a younger kid that needs to keep a normal schedule, so practice evenings are usually pretty chaotic and often end with one or many of us eating junk from McDonald's. Worse, I feel a lot of guilt that I stay in the car or at a nearby coffee shop working on my laptop while other parents are out in lawn chairs watching practice. What am I doing wrong? I wonder constantly.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "I told my kid our town doesn't have a hockey team, because lord knows I'm not waking up ... to take him to practice."Skylight

OK, here are just a few more:

"All I want is time with my kids and time without my kids." —Mom, 33

"Yes, I threw out your Halloween candy." —Dad, 52

"I’ve forgotten my son at early pick up before." —Mom, 37

"Some days, I feel like I’m not giving enough to either side of my life." —Mom, 32

"I’m constantly feeling guilty when I’m not with my kids but feel overwhelmed when I’m with them. " —Mom, 44

Ah, yes, the true brilliance of being a parent is that you get to feel like you're failing in every aspect of your life simultaneously. Parenting takes time and energy away from advancing in your career, but don't worry, your career also takes time and energy away from being a great parent. It's so awesome!

You can see all the confessions as they roll in right here.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "i told them I had to work late, but I just drove around crying until I felt better."Skylight

In 2024, Skylight teamed up with The Harris Poll to create something called the Mental Load Report. The findings were fascinating and illuminating.

The survey results showed that parents spent an average of 30.4 hours per week on "planning and coordinating family schedules and household tasks," or the equivalent of a near-full-time job.

Parents were found to receive an average of 17.5 communications (emails, texts, phone calls) about their kids' activities every week. It's a stark difference from when we were kids and our parents never heard anything until it was Report Card time.

Planning for "time off"—securing childcare, summer breaks, activities, etc.—took over 100 hours per year. Summer vacation? Yeah, right.

Moms, unsurprisingly, are carrying more of the mental load. But 60% of all parents felt taken for granted or under-appreciated in their household for all the care and planning that they do.

Add it all up and it's no wonder the US Surgeon General put out an advisory warning recently about the poor mental health of parents. An advisory is a "public statement that calls the American people's attention to an urgent public health issue and provides recommendations for how it should be addressed." The report lobbied for expanded paid family leave, expanding public and private insurance coverage of mental health care like therapy, and creating more family-friendly and free community spaces like parks.

Those measures would go a long way, but in the meantime, parents are just trying to cope any way that they can. Whether that's stealing some of your kid's Halloween candy for a little pick me up, or telling them you have an appointment just so you can go somewhere quiet and scream in your car. We're getting by, however we can.

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parents

Wellness

28 simple daily habits that people say drastically reduced their stress levels

Try making these easy yet impactful changes to your daily routine.

Image via Canva

People share their daily habits that reduce their stress levels.

Americans are stressed and anxious. According to a 2025 poll by the American Psychiatric Association, these are the top things they stress about: current events, keeping themselves and their families safe, paying bills and expenses, and their health.

Stress can have serious impacts on the body and mind. If you can feel its impact, you may be looking for ways to reduce your stress.

Over on Reddit, user Head-Tangerine-8260 posed the question: "What's a simple habit that made your daily life way less stressful?" to a thread of people looking for healthy habits,

Real people shared their real-life advice for how they have reduced stress in their lives. These are 28 simple habits hat can help you lead a life of less stress.

don't stress, no stress, reduce stress, stress, stress gif Breathe Deep Breath GIF by C.Nichole Giphy

"Plan next day every evening." —digital_tempo

"Having my outfit picked out, ironed and my work bag packed the night before gives me such relief in the morning." —MarsupialLast4651

"Give yourself 30 mins more than whatever you think you need in your morning routine. Having a bit more time to shift into your day vs feeling rushed and out of time all the time is an easy but impactful change for my daily routine." —Purfectenschlag

calm, breathe, stay calm, low stress, stress tips Breathe Chill Out GIF by CSDRMS Giphy

"My doctor told me about this yoga nidra and I really enjoy it. eye mask, headphones, under covers. my nervous system melts when I hear her voice. I look forward to it at the end of a work day." —Janices1976

"I've been doing the Wim Hof Breathing Technique for a month now and I really feel more energized and motivated. It's like life is a little bit easier." —Soquerodesabafar

"Remind myself that anxiety is nothing more than thinking-rapid, untrained thinking. Stop overthinking about the future and stop fretting about the past."— slutspells

"Writing down just three priorities each morning. Not a massive to-do list, just the three things that will make the day feel meaningful or productive. It helps cut the noise and gives me a small sense of control, especially on chaotic days. It’s simple, but it’s saved my sanity more than once. What’s yours?" —Self-CoachedPress

walk, mental health walk, stress walk, walk for stress, lower stress Mental Health Relax GIF by mtv Giphy

"Actually taking a 15-minute break to step outside and walk away from the office/desk. Before I would still stay in/at it and scroll on phone, or just sit on the office couch. Started realizing I craved sunlight and silence (quiet mind), and it lets me reset. I use it to do 1-2 laps around the office complex." —BOHICA_Headquarters

"No news. Stopped watching completely. Haven’t blown up yet. Used to be something I did first thing in the morning and it just rattled me. Now I’m very selective with what information I let myself consume. Might be unpopular but it works for me." —ATXGreenEyes

"Going to a coffee shop on Sunday and planning out my week, daily workouts." —taytay10133

"Journal. Write everyday." —Spare_Lemon5010

jounral, journaling, mental health journal, write, writing Journaling Dear Diary GIF by Ryn Dean Giphy

"Meal prepping. Cooking one day a week for the whole week and partially freezing / defrosting. The mental relief of not having to think about what to eat and cooking daily is amazing. One 2 hour session in the kitchen a week is bearable and easier to battle through than the daily thought process and prep. Less mess throughout the rest of the week, as no more prep needed. Microwaving dinner is quick and easy if in a time pinch. I can also track my macros easily and saw progress in my physique within 2 weeks as I was consistent with my intake." —Consistent-Choice-22

"One load of laundry every day, with a baby. Roomba vacuum on every morning. Straightening the couch pillows and blankets before I go to bed. Running the dishwasher daily, even if it’s half full." —Bonus_Leading

"I start my day with a cold plunge. Been huge for my mental state because in my head I’m getting the hardest part of my day behind me before 8am. Everything after that is simple." —mgm904

cold plunge, cold plunge gif, cold plunging, cold plunge stress, cold plunge mental health Screaming Nat Geo GIF by National Geographic Channel Giphy

"Tracking expenses in an analog manner. Doing it electronically and relying on my bank portal wasn’t enough. Some charges would take days to go through. Some are instant. Writing down each expense for each paycheck and budgeting what’s leftover is WAY less stressful than guessing, or not knowing, when something is coming out. It’s extremely simple. Can be time consuming but extremely simple and makes me upfront with my finances instead of blindly spending." —Snipes2016

"No phone for the first hour of my day. Gives you the first hour entirely to yourself to slowly start your day and prevents a massive cortisol spike when your brain is at its most vulnerable." —lolobq47

"Ensuring my travel mugs and water bottles are all clean before I go to bed. And that my refrigerator water is filled (we put filtered water into a glass thing), and the filter is filled with water too." —mrsredfast

"Not taking my phone into the bedroom." —dl039

no phone, no phones, no phone room, no phones bedroom, no phone mental health Keep Quiet Pho GIF by Zhot Giphy

"I have a poster of the pale blue dot by Carl Sagan hanging in my room. It really helps to remind myself that in the end, nothing really matters. We are but a speck in the vast galactic ocean, alive for a brief moment. Also, 30 mins of shooting hoops." —bluebird-03

"Prayers of gratitude." —StoicallyRoasted

"Making my bed every morning. I heard it so much and I kept it up for 2 weeks (to form the habit). And honestly, it just makes my morning better and starts my day. And its nice to climb into bed at night into a nicely made bed. When I don't, my day just feels off." —InteractionNo9110

"I changed my work wardrobe to just white or gray shirts, black skirts, and three colors of shoes (besides nude and black, which are imperative). I can wear different blazers or belts to correspond with my footwear and jewelry, but not trying to put together an outfit helped. I grab something and then something else. Then something else. I only have to worry about getting a jacket that matches with my shoes. Am I wearing blue? Then the other decisions are made. Cool." —5Tapestries

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75 years ago psychologist Rollo May proposed a revolutionary change to how we see anxiety

This would radically change how we approach mental health.

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An anxious person covers their face. Sheet music.

What if we could reframe the way we view anxiety? Instead of it being this negative, festering nuisance, could it be finessed into something that's ultimately positive?

Well, psychologist Rollo May–who was often considered one of the most renowned existential psychologists/philosophers of his time–believed that the way many of us think about anxiety is all wrong. In 1950, May released his book The Meaning of Anxiety, which was revised and re-released in 1977, and sought to challenge the belief that anxiety is a "bad" emotion. Instead, May suggests it's a feeling that should serve as a reminder to "take action."

Rollo May, psychology, anxiety, psychologist, positive, negative Archivo:Rollo May USD Alcalá 1977.jpg - Wikipedia, la enciclopedia ... es.m.wikipedia.org

Of the latter 1977 release, Goodreads describes it as, "the first modern book on anxiety following Freud and Kierkegaard. May challenges the idea that 'mental health is living without anxiety,' believing it is essential to being human. He explores how it can relieve boredom, sharpen sensibilities, and produce the tension necessary to preserve human existence."

The gist is that anxiety can't be ignored as it's such a normal part of the human condition. Instead, it should be used as a guide to cultivate knowledge, spring into action, and enhance creativity.

In the late 1980s, May sat for an interview entitled "The Human Dilemma with Rollo May" as part of Jeffrey Mishlove's Thinking Allowed series. Among many ideas discussed, Mishlove asks, "When you speak of anxiety, you don't think of it as a symptom to be removed, but rather as a gateway for exploration into the meaning of life."

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May gives a resounding, "Yes, you got that exactly!" He adds, "I think anxiety is associated with creativity. When you're in a situation of anxiety, you can of course run away from it and that's certainly not constructive." He then exemplifies the "no-nonsense" approach he was often known for: "You could take a bunch of pills to get over it or cocaine or whatever else you may take."

Mishlove interjects, "You could meditate." May responds, "You could meditate. But I think none of those things, including meditation–which I happen to believe in–but none of those paths lead you to creative activity."

"What anxiety means," he continues, "is it's as though the world were knocking at your door. That you need to create. You need to make something. You need to DO something. And I think anxiety, thus, is well for people who have found their own heart and their own souls. For them, it is a stimulus toward creativity, toward courage. It's what makes us human beings."

The full interview contains a moment when Mishlove states, "I suppose much of anxiety comes from the basic human dilemma of being mortal. Of ultimately having to confront our own demise."

-Jeffrey Mishlove's Thinking Allowed series with guest Rollo May www.youtube.com

May answers, in part: "Man is the only creature—men, women and children sometimes, even—who can be aware of their death. And out of that comes normal anxiety. When I can let myself FEEL that, I apply myself to new ideas. I write books. I communicate with my fellows. In other words, the creative interchange of human personality rests upon the fact that we know we're going to die…Our knowledge of our death is what gives us a normal anxiety that says to us to make the most of these years you are alive. And that's what I've tried to do."

Mishlove also points out, "Another source of anxiety you've described in your writing, is our very freedom. The ability to make choices and to have to confront the consequences of those choices." May once again agrees. "Freedom is also the mother of anxiety. If you had no freedom, you'd have no anxiety."

He's essentially stating that again, anxiety comes from the very act of being aware of our own consciousness. "Those of us who do have anxiety are alert, alive. We're aware that what we do matters. We only have about 70 or 80 or 90 years in which to do it, so why not do it and get joy out of it, rather than running away from it?'

The comments sections across the board are full of insightful thoughts. This person sums it up nicely: "Our existential freedom is what allows us to feel anxiety and despair; this, in turn, gives rise to creativity, growth, understanding, and joy. It's almost like anxiety and creativity are two sides of the same coin."

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