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Jacalyn Wetzel

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Man embarks on journey to learn about women's health. He's horrified and calling for change.

“Why aren’t y’all being studied?!”

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Man takes journey into women's health, is instantly horrified.

Men discovering all that women go through physically and hormonally can be a fun ride. It's a journey that generally starts with the denial that things are bad in the world of women's health, then quickly transitions into shock. The men who publicize their parlay into women's health generally don't share much after the first couple of mind-boggling discoveries. But one man has been documenting new-to-him discoveries about women's health for weeks.

Women's health is a topic that many people, including women themselves, do not fully understand. This isn't for a lack of trying on the part of women, but due to the lack of interest in scientific research regarding women's health. Science is still a male-dominated field, which means that oftentimes the struggles that women have faced for generations are overlooked. There's even a book called Invisible Women (2019), about how male-centric research has left women out of the loop of safety in multiple areas.

Women's health; health; medical gaslighting; women's health research; health research; man learns women's health Woman at the doctor's office. Photo credit: Canva

The medical gaslighting that seems to happen around the concerns women bring to their doctors is pervasive if you're inclined to believe women's lived experience. Thankfully, in more recent years, researchers, medical doctors, and some men have been taking women's health much more seriously. Researchers have been making groundbreaking discoveries in the research of female-bodied individuals.

René Jay recently embarked on a journey of his own to learn more about women's health issues. He uploads a video every time he learns something new so he can share with his audience his utter shock and dismay. It's been something that some women have started looking forward to, even offering up areas he should explore.

In his first video posted to Instagram, he is already feeling frustrated. "I feel like women should be madder," he says. "Bro, how are y'all even remotely accepting this, but then you're like, wait, they're not accepting it. This is why every woman I've ever met she talks about her own health, she immediately gets angry, and I've been like, 'Why are you getting so angry?' Now I get it, because you go to the doctor, and the doctor is so consistently condescending about your health."

Jay continues in the video, sharing how doctors will simply act as if they have no idea how to answer or help with seemingly simple concerns. This initial video shares what he's learned in the first 48 hours, but his journey continues in subsequent videos. By hour 72, the curious man learns about the tenaculum, a medical device used to hold the cervix during gynecological procedures. He is shocked by the thought of women only being offered Tylenol considering the level of pain inflicted during the use of the device.

On day 10, Jay expresses frustration with the medical system on behalf of women. "I'm trying to figure out why in the hell, every single time a woman goes to a doctor, she's told that she has to lose weight. But it doesn't really make sense to me because I've been trying to figure out, like okay, logically, what if the weight gain is the symptom? And I'm like, really having trouble figuring that out." He shares that he's truly baffled by how doctors seemingly ignore serious concerns while only offering birth control or weight loss as a solution without thorough investigation.

By day 21, the man seems to be reaching his limit for the medical nonsense women can face. After looking up what a cervical biopsy is and how it's done, his frustration is clear, "It's day 21, I just looked up what a cervical biopsy is. Y'all need more drugs. Listen, who do I need to fight, who do I need to write, because that? Y'all need more drugs for that."

Women's health; health; medical gaslighting; women's health research; health research; man learns women's health Woman at the gynecologist.Photo credit: Canva

He shares that he understands the importance of a cervical biopsy; he's simply objecting to the lack of pain medication provided. Jay animatedly demands that women should be provided pain management before during and after the experience. He also notes that the "pinch" doctors claim women will feel during the procedure is much more than a pinch.

In every video uploaded, Jay either finds himself horrified or angry. But he's not just learning about modern day women's health, he's learning about the history as well, including that the chainsaw was invented to cut through women's pelvises during childbirth. According to How Stuff Works, the method was called a symphysiotomy and was only used when the baby wasn't able to descend out of the birth canal naturally. While a literal chainsaw like we're used to seeing today wasn't the tool used, it was a smaller hand cranked version, and it sparked the idea for the bigger one that cuts down trees.

Jay is continuing his journey into women's health, determined to learn as much as he can while calling for more research. Women have become the biggest champions of his self education with one woman saying, "I want you to know this video series makes me so happy, and also I’m learning things I didn’t know about my own body."

Women's health; health; medical gaslighting; women's health research; health research; man learns women's health Women's health.Photo credit: Canva

Another woman writes, "Absolutely love you for learning and becoming knowledgeable about women’s health and health issues."

"As someone who has had both a cervical biopsy and a LEEP procedure I'm so sorry that you are going to be educated in this way. I am thrilled that you're taking the time to educate yourself but yeah this one's a rough one," someone else shares.

One person is enjoying the journey, writing, "I absolutely LOVE your videos! Watching you learn and seeing your reactions gives me a moment of happiness in this crazy world we live in. Thank you for sharing your journey with us all!!!"

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Parenting

Someone called the police on a 'homeless man with a baby.' Turns out he's just a very tired dad.

The father of four is using it as a teachable moment.

via Canva Photos

Police called after dad is mistaken for a homeless man.

When you're in the throes of parenting a newborn, there's not much room for glamour. You spend your days exhausted and looking like a haphazardly thrown together preschool art project because your nights are filled with feedings and diaper changes. Being able to take a shower feels like a spa day, especially if you have other small children who need your attention. A California dad of four knows this dance of exhaustion all too well, but he never expected that looking like a tired parent would result in having the police called on him.

That's right, someone called the police on him for looking as if he rolled out of bed and grabbed the closest clothes he could find. Chapman Hamborg was taking his newborn for a walk when one of his neighbors called the police on him reporting that he was a homeless man that had stolen a baby. The dad recorded the unbelievable interaction with the police who thought they had a kidnapping situation on their hands only to find out it was all a misunderstanding.

Hamborg uploaded the video to his social media platform where it has been viewed over 50 million times. In the video, you see the exhausted dad trying to laugh off the situation as he explains to his wife, "Someone called the cops on me thinking that I was homeless with a baby, so the cop needs to see my ID." His wife, who can be heard in the background, is in disbelief.

The caption of the video explains what happened in greater detail, reading, "I take our newborn daughter for walks around our neighborhood while wearing her in the baby carrier multiple times a day. I am surprised all of my neighbors haven’t seen me and recognize me by now. Well this lady thought I was homeless and had a (stollen?!) baby and she was concerned enough to call the police, and get in her car and follow me home. Apparently I need to work on my appearance—I guess being an artist or a tired dad isn’t a valid excuse."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Since it was clearly a mistake, the police seem to apologize and leave Hamborg to continue caring for his newborn. People who viewed his video could relate to his exhausted look while others were confused on how the woman followed him to his home but still thought he was homeless.

"Honestly we all look homeless with a newborn, it’s called exhaustion." one person writes.

"She clearly doesn’t understand homelessness if she followed you home," another says.

"Since when is being homeless with a baby a crime? Homeless people have children," someone else points out.

homelessness; homeless; dad; homeless dad; neighbor calls police; parenting; new parents On The Streets Home GIF by INTO ACTION Giphy

Instead of getting upset or letting the incident go as an innocent mistake, the artist is using it as a teachable moment for others. The art studio owner already had a picture he painted of him wearing one of his other children when they were an infant. That sparked the idea to use the painting titled Unseen Path to help the homeless.

Hamborg contacted the United Way of Orange County and is working with them to sell prints of his painting with 20 percent of the proceeds going to helping the homeless. They both hope to address the misconception of who experiences homelessness. The United Way pointed out to NBCLA that 371 families contacted them due to either already experiencing homelessness or being imminently at risk of being homeless. The dad wants to teach his children how to be compassionate towards homeless people and one day hopes to meet the neighbor who called the police to thank her for being vigilant.

This article originally appeared in June.

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Humor

22 common Southern phrases that leave people scratching their heads, laughing, or both

The accent isn't the only thing different below the Mason-Dixon line.

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22 common Southern phrases that leave people scratching their heads

Visiting different states within America can sometimes feel like traveling to a completely different country, given the significant cultural differences and accents. Visiting parts of Louisiana may make you feel like you require a translator to navigate your vacation, as people often speak Creole or Cajun—both of which have very thick, unique accents. Southern Mississippi also has a mishmash of accents that range from Cajun to a non-distinct regional accent.

But one thing North Carolina has in common with states like Texas, Mississippi, and Louisiana is that they all have a range of southern colloquialisms that translate fine between southern states. It's when those creative southern phrases make their way above the Mason-Dixon Line that causes some confusion. Many southerners who travel north for work, pleasure, or relocation adapt quickly to not using uniquely southern phrases after experiencing looks of bewildered confusion.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Welcome to North Carolina State Line!Photo credit: Canva

Oftentimes, southerners don't even know where their beloved and well-used phrases originated or why. As far as a Google search pulls up, there's never been a child born in the world who has ever been small enough to be "knee high to a grasshopper," but that's not going to stop PawPaw from saying it. People who are used to hearing the sometimes outrageous phrases simply interpret them themselves and add them to their own lexicon for future use.

General Southern expressions to keep in your pocket

1. "You don't believe fat meat is greasy."

This is an expression often used when someone is intent on not listening to advice. It essentially means they won't believe it until they see or experience it themselves. We all know someone who has to learn lessons the hard way, and this is the saying that conveys that message without sounding harsh.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Smiling together: "The Lord Willing and the Creek Don’t Rise."Photo credit: Canva

2. "The Lord willing and the creek don't rise."

A phrase like this is used a lot by elders. It just adds a little dramatic flair when they're making plans. In a conversation, it would go like this: "So, I'll see you next Sunday at the potluck, right?" There may be a pause for emphasis along with a fist perched on their hip before responding, "The Lord willing and the creek don't rise." Just know they'll be there as long as they wake up in the morning and there's no natural disaster preventing them from getting there.

3. "There's more than one way to skin a cat."

This particular one is a phrase my husband uses often. It is often said by men doing manual labor, whether it's at work or around the house. If someone is trying something that isn't working, they have to come up with a better idea of how to make it work. If the original person pushes back on trying it a different way, that's when you'll hear, "There's more than one way to skin a cat." To date, no one has skinned a cat to prove a point, that I'm aware of, but there's debate on its origin. It's believed to come from a phrase used in the mid-1600s in England, "There's more than one way to kill a dog than hanging."

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Surprised cat faces an idiom shock!Photo credit: Canva

Eventually, it got changed to the cat idiom southerners say today, though some suggest the phrase came from when women's coats were made from cat fur...(that's information you can't unlearn). Either way, as someone who has lived in the south for more than 20 years, you can rest assured that the only people skinning cats down here are taxidermists with the pet owner's permission. Just know they're saying there's more than one way to get the job done.

4. "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

This is just a fancy way of telling someone not to lie to you.

5. "Well, you look rode hard and put up wet."

Honestly, if someone says this to you, you're looking mighty bad. This means not only do you look exhausted, but you also look disheveled, and maybe even ill. When people say this, it's not meant to be rude. They're typically genuinely concerned about your well-being, whether it be that you appear to need a break or you need to rest and get some soup in your belly.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Feeling under the weather with a warm cup in hand.Photo credit: Canva

6. "P*ss or get off the pot" and "Fish or cut bait."

These two phrases mean the exact same thing. They're calling out someone's lack of progress and can be applied to all sorts of situations. It means to do what you're supposed to be doing or get out of the way so someone else can do the job you won't. By the time someone says this, they're a little annoyed, so it's best to go ahead and "pee or get off the pot" before they move you over and do it themselves.

7. "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

You can stick this in the same category as, "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle." It's meant to convey genuine surprise and delight in information they've just received or upon seeing someone they haven't seen in a while and weren't expecting. It's a fun one to say, even outside of the South, due to the humorous element.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases "Fluffy biscuits and a sassy Southern saying!"Photo credit: Canva

8. "I've got a hitch in my giddy-up"

You've got a limp due to hurting yourself somehow, or you're feeling under the weather in some way that's slowing you down.

9. "Why, bless your little pea-pickin' heart."

Ouch! You've just been insulted, and they wanted to make sure you knew. "Bless your heart" on its own can be said in a condescending way or a genuine, "I'm so sorry you're going through this" way. Using tone and context clues can help you decipher the difference. But when they add "little pea-pickin" right in the middle of the phrase, go grab some ointment because that was meant to sting.

10. "I'm going to snatch her baldheaded."

Whoever is the target of that comment should probably avoid being around the person making it. See also, "I'm going to jerk a knot in her tail." When it's an adult directing the comment at another adult, it could simply mean they're going to have a verbal confrontation. But, depending on the person, it could also mean physical confrontation because that is not off the table in Southern culture. If it's a parent directing the expression towards their child, then it usually means that the child is going to get into trouble.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Two women in a park having a tense conversation.Photo credit: Canva

Southern expressions about looks and intelligence

11. "Pull your dress down, everyone can see Christmas."

This feels self-explanatory, but it's something you might hear a friend say to another friend to address a wardrobe malfunction. You may also hear a parent telling their young daughter a version of this as they're learning how to properly sit in a dress. Also see, "Pull down that skirt! We can see clear to the promised land."

12. "They fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

Also in the vein of calling someone unattractive, one might say, "He's so ugly he could make paint peel."

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases "Tight pants, revealing every curve and thought."Photo credit: Canva

13. "Pants are so tight you can see his thoughts."

Those are some really tight pants.

14. "She's just as loony as a Betsy Bug."

Until today, I had no idea what a Betsy Bug was, but apparently it's a type of beetle that eats decomposing wood. There doesn't seem to be an explanation for what makes the beetle loony, though.

15. "Well, aren't you as bright as a box of black crayons."

Have you ever seen a bright black crayon? If southerners are good at one thing, it's insults.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases "Bright as a Box of Black Crayons" - a humorous twist on brightness.Photo credit: Canva

16. "That boy's so dumb he'd throw himself on the ground and miss."

See also: "He ain't got the good sense God gave a mule," and, "If he had an idea, it would die of loneliness."

Bonus sayings you don't want to miss

Clearly, southerners have a way with words, but there are a few more that can be fun to pull out for a party trick. A favorite is, "That really burns my biscuits," but a close second is, "I'm fuller than a tick on a dog's behind." If you want to get around the ears of nosey children while having a chat about an adult encounter, some people in the south will say, "He took me to church," "I was singing opera," or "We stayed in and played the piano."

Whenever you decide to pull out any of these phrases, just make sure it's not one that'll make someone "madder than a wet hen," and you'll be golden.

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5 conversation tips to avoid making a first date feel like a job interview

Instead of asking what they like to do for fun, try this instead.

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Conversation tips to avoid making a date feel like a job interview.

Going on a first date with someone can be nerve-racking. You glean what you can from their dating profile and the message exchanges that help you feel secure in knowing you won't wind up on an episode of The First 48. But once you're in front of each other, the conversation reverts to surface-level chatting about favorite colors, foods, and hobbies.

What could've been a fantastic connection based on the person's Hinge profile turns into a job interview. By the time dessert comes it feels like you should be asking about salary expectations.

Carey Gaynes, a dating coach and relationship expert, shares five tips on how to avoid turning your first date into an interview:

first date; bad first date; dating; date questions; job interview date; boring date; conversation starters Man listening intently during a conversation.Photo credit: Canva

1. Skip the interview

"Let's not do that typical interview style of boring questions, where it feels more like somebody is sitting...with a checklist going, they went to school, they majored in something I think is practical," Gaynes says in a YouTube video. "Skip the interview, there's other ways to have conversations on a first date."

2. Ask open-ended questions

Gaynes recommends asking open-ended questions that you'd be curious to know the answers to, whether you see them again or not. This means not just asking things that require a yes or no answer, and not asking questions that would only need a short response, such as, "Where do you work?"

While it can be great to know what a person does for a living, asking where they work is likely not going to tell you much outside of whose name is on the building.

first date; bad first date; dating; date questions; job interview date; boring date; conversation starters Couple enjoying a cozy evening with wine.Photo credit: Canva

3. Ask questions that will open the conversation faucet

"'You said in your dating profile that you love traveling. Do you have any suggestions on where I should go on my next international trip?'" Gaynes suggests. "'Or any places you've been that I should avoid because you have a crazy horror story? In fact, share your horror story with me.' I love to hear about vacations gone wrong. I mean, there's some humor, and it's silly, but at least you're not getting, 'I have two older brothers, we're three years apart, except my sister's five years younger.'"

Gaynes emphasizes that if you've asked a question you consider to be good or noteworthy, ask a follow-up question if the answer given is short.

She explains that if a date reveals that they just changed jobs during the conversation, appropriate follow-up questions would be, "what is the job that you got? Is it in the same field? What made you pick that? Were you looking for that job, or how did you come upon it? Do you work from home? Do you have to go into the office? How are the people you work with?"

first date; bad first date; dating; date questions; job interview date; boring date; conversation starters Romantic evening with laughter and bubbly on the balcony. 🥂✨Photo credit: Canva

4. Ask for the story you want to hear

Often, when dating someone new, you want to hear stories about their life. Typically, they come through lengthy conversations, sometimes several weeks into dating. Gaynes points out that you don't have to wait for it to come up naturally—simply ask for the story you want to hear. Most people love talking about themselves, so just ask.

You can ask for a story about how they decided on the job sector, or for them to tell you their favorite part of a neighborhood. Is there a time in their life when they felt most adventurous? Then follow up by asking if there's one thing they did during that time they'd like to relive. Getting a little creative with the questions can help you figure out if you're likely to have a connection through a mutual experience.

first date; bad first date; dating; date questions; job interview date; boring date; conversation starters Enjoying a heartfelt conversation over lunch.Photo credit: Canva

5. Instead of focusing on a good first date, focus on a good conversation

It seems as if all of the tips Gaynes shares lead to removing the pressure of expectation from the person you're going on a date with. Instead, focus on having a conversation you want to be a part of.

There's nothing more frustrating and disappointing than a dry conversation or sitting in silence while you both pick at your food, racking your brain for something the other person might want to talk about. Forget that unrealistic pressure. Bring up topics you want to know about or raise questions you wish the other person would ask you. Ask for the story you want to hear.

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