upworthy

Jacalyn Wetzel

Pop Culture

Woman learns a valuable lesson after guy ends their date and apologizes to the waitstaff

The date ended before the appetizers were even served.

Barbara NOT Barb|Twitter and Jonathan Borba|Canva

Woman learns lesson in kindness after date apologizes.

How you treat people in the service industry is often used as a measure of what kind of person you are. Arguably, the same could be said for how you treat anyone in a customer-facing job, whether it be the sales associate at a department store, the cashier at McDonald's or the janitor in your office building.

While people may think that these jobs are not skilled positions, they do require an immense amount of skill that has to be learned. The skill just isn't as valued by society as a whole, and sadly, that often leads to people treating those in customer-facing jobs poorly. But when a woman recently went on a date with a potential partner, her poor behavior towards the waitstaff caused him to pause.

The story was shared by a woman by the name of Barbara NOT Barb on Twitter with a lengthy thread about her daughter's recent interaction. Though the details were juicy, it quickly became obvious that kindness is the way to go.

Barbara's daughter works as a server at a high-end restaurant in Los Angeles, and she was asked to bring water to a couple's table in someone else's section to help out. But according to the Twitter thread, when her daughter arrived at the table, the woman at the table started berating and insulting her.

Apparently, the couple, who were on their first date, were waiting for their drink orders from the bar. If you've ever worked in a restaurant, you know that servers don't have anything to do with how quickly your food or alcoholic drinks get made. They keep an eye out for the items as they care for other tables, but either this woman didn't realize that or didn't care, because she yelled at the server for how long it was taking for the drinks. The only mistake this particular server made was being kind to a co-worker and offering to drop off glasses of water.

After the server tried unsuccessfully to de-escalate the situation, the woman demanded to speak to the manager. It's not clear if this was the woman's first date ever, but it was her first date with the stunned man at the table. Since people generally attempt to put their best foot forward on a first date, it's not surprising that the man decided to end the date. But before he did that, he gave a lesson in kindness.

Before the manager could reach the table, the likely embarrassed man intercepted him.

"He asked to close out the tab. Explained it was a first date and that the woman's behavior disgusted him. He paid the tab at the bar and then requested my daughter and the original server come talk to him. He apologized profusely for his date's behavior," Barbara wrote. "Needless to say, everyone was floored, in the best way. The woman had somehow been informed that the date was over. She walked out, head down, and was no longer talking down to anyone."

Being kind to others is one of the easiest things to do. Maybe the woman in question was having a bad day—everyone has them—but our bad days probably shouldn't bleed over onto unsuspecting strangers. Hopefully, the servers and the date got a lesson in kindness and standing up for others.


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
man ditches date
Mental Health

Wellness expert explains what 'self-care' really is and it's far from what we've been sold

Self-care doesn't need to cost you a thing.

Photo credit: Canva

Self-care is not what we've be taught one therapist explains

Self-care. It's something that has been co-opted by wellness influencers and gurus that somehow always involve spending money on something luxurious. Self-care is often branded as things like pedicures, vacations and hour long massages at the spa but according to Dr. Raquel Martin, we've been doing self-care all wrong.

Martin is a licensed psychologist and recently uploaded a video where she explains what self-care is truly supposed to be–it's not indulgent. At least indulgence shouldn't be an all the time expectation of self-care though she acknowledges that the wellness industry has monetized the decadent vision of self-care. Martin explains that having self-care propped up as something that is indulgent isolates people who cannot afford those types of activities.

The psychologist goes on to share how she practices self-care, surprising viewers, "not responding to every call and if I do not have the bandwidth to have the conversation, stating that I don't have the bandwidth to have the conversation." She also says she says no to things she doesn't want to do, setting a financial budget, and not drinking caffeine after 4 PM.

Things Martin listed are things a lot of people don't think about as self-care but in actuality, self-care is defined by taking care of one's self. This means practicing self-care is getting in a few minutes of exercise a day, drinking more water or spending time with friends watching mindless television. You don't have to spend money to care for yourself. Commenters were shocked and thankful for Martin's clarification on what self-care is actually supposed to be.



"Love this list!! As a massage therapist, I have to call out the misconception that massage is indulgent. I'm always telling my patients that self care is more than a bath. I will be sharing this list with my patients. I'm also trying to make massage more accessible," one person writes.

"Thank you for this post. I’m internalizing your advice to see how I can apply. You resonated with my thoughts on so many levels. However, you also provided some clarity and food for thought/fuel for action," another says.

"I really appreciate what you said about pallet cleansers! Sometimes I get frustrated with myself because I'm not able to read and consume and learn about all the issues different people are facing. It's really important to me to learn about those things, not just for awareness, but also so I can do something about it. But self care is so important throughout that, like leaving my phone in the other room, or watching my comfort shows like you said. I often read kids books or TV because of how horrible the world is right now, and I need something extremely wholesome to balance it out. Also, workshop? I'm not sure what that means but I like learning from you. Thanks," someone shares.

So maybe it's time to collectively ditch those indulgent expectations of self-care and really take a look at ways we care for ourselves instead.


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
what is self-care
Humor

Millennial sends tongue-in-cheek warning to Gen Z after viral video criticizing Gen X

"I love Gen X. We all love Gen X...we all love Gen X."

Photo credit: Canva

Millennial sends warning to Gen Z after viral video criticizing Gen X

There's something to be said about the sibling dynamic that's developed between Millennials and Gen Z. But before that bond existed, many Millennials grew up with Gen X siblings, learning early on not to disturb the sleeping bear. Gen X is often referred to as the forgotten generation and after all this time, they like it that way so Millennials keep their heads down and walk quickly where Gen X is concerned.

Unfortunately, some folks in the younger generation didn't get that reply all email. A brave...or naive Gen Zer decided to take to Taylor Swift's internet to decree and declare that Gen X is "the worst generation" seemingly unprompted. Young Padawan, Gen X minds their business grumbling through life unless someone summons them. We don't summon them.

Laura High gave a succinct cliff's notes version of why it's best to not speak negative thoughts on Gen X aloud. The self described Millennial is quick to start out the video with praise, "I love Gen X. We all love Gen X...we all love Gen X" before bringing the camera close enough to whisper.

"Ok here's the thing, you do not seem to understand who Gen X is okay. Gen X is Boomers if they knew how to turn a document into a PDF, okay. They do not Karen out. They get quiet and they get revenge," High whispers.

The Millennial shares the secret kept close to the chest of the generation above Gen Z, "we do not summon the latchkey kids unless it's our literal only last resort." She advises the unknowing Gen Zer to go to the edge of the woods to leave offerings to appease the Gen Xers that will likely be offended by the video. Commenters agreed that this little sibling overstepped and needs to quietly and quickly tiptoe back into place before Gen X notices.


@laurahigh5 Do you also like pissing off beelzebub for funzies? #genx #millennial #genz #generations #lol #joke #80s #vhs #movie #foryou #foryoupage #fyp #fypシ゚viral #fypage ♬ Wes Anderson-esque Cute Acoustic - Kenji Ueda


"There is a reason millennials leave GenX alone, and they learned it the hard way. My fellow Gen Z’s will learn soon… very soon," one commenter says.

"Elder Gen Z raised by two Gen X parents. I do NOT back the younger half of Gen Z on this. I’m running into the woods on their behalf and leaving Ferris Bueller for my dad and a DQ blizzard for my mom," another writes.

"Last thing she will hear from the woods, Red Rover Red Rover, we call Karen Hashtag over," someone laughs.

If you've never played Red Rover with Gen Xers, just know you were lucky to have your head still attached to your shoulders after the game was over. There were no tears allowed and no telling your parents, they were gone anyway. But it seems Gen Xers who watched the video are willing to accept the peace offerings.

"I will accept king dongs (in original foil) and a VHS of “the last star fighter” I will also except a mix tape if it include at mix of metal, new wave, and Yaz," someone suggests.

"We will also accept any of the original Star Wars trilogy, Star Trek 2, Raiders, or Die Hard…though John Hughes films will likely will be the safest choice," one Gen Xer writes.

Tread lightly Gen Z. Tread very lightly. If you hear someone clinking together empty glass Coke bottles outside your door, do not come out and play. It's a trap.


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
gen x worst generation
Education & Information

Got yellow armpit stains or ring around the collar? Here's a trick to make them look new.

Get rid of those embarrassing stains without tossing the shirt.

Photo credit: Canva

This hack promises to get rid of yellow armpit stains

There's nothing quite like getting a new shirt for a job interview and sweating straight through it. Even if you're not nervous, it's not uncommon to sweat through your shirt leaving perfect outlines of your armpits on the outside of the fabric. But if you're required to wear a collared shirt on a fairly frequent basis, you know how annoying armpit stains and ring around the collar can be.

You wash and scrub, pulling out all the tips and tricks you can think of the get the stubborn stains out but they only lightly fade. The armpits are still clearly yellow with a faint smell of B.O. while the dark ring around the collar makes you question your shower habits. It can feel like an impossible thing to rid your shirts of but it can be done, no dry cleaner needed.

Everyone's favorite "Laundry Queen," Melissa Pateras has a really easy trick for getting those stubborn areas clean. The best thing about her hack is that it involves products that you likely already have in your house.

gif of David Beckham sweatingDavid Beckham Sweat GIF by First We FeastGiphy

After one of her followers reached out asking about getting rid of armpit stains in shirts that also held on to unpleasant odor, Pateras had a quick solution. Instead of just telling the user what to do, she demonstrates the process step-by-step. She pulls out a white button up shirt that is lightly stained around the collar and in the armpit region, laying it on a white towel.

"Then you're going to completely cover the stains with some hydrogen peroxide, making sure that you're applying it straight from the bottle because it's light sensitive. That's why the bottle's brown because if it's exposed to light, it'll be ineffective," Pateras explains.

gif of Maytag manSma Sexiest Man Alive GIF by MaytagGiphy

In the video she demonstrates on a white shirt, but according to Clotheslyne, hydrogen peroxide can be used on colored clothes as well. To be safe, though, try adding it to an inconspicuous area first to check for discoloration. If it doesn't cause that piece of fabric to become discolored then you can proceed to with use.

Hydrogen peroxide is not the end of the hack for Pateras; the second step is pulling out the Dawn dish soap. "Once you've applied the Dawn to the stain, you're just going to take your finger and very gently rub it in. Once you've done that you're just going to get some baking soda and sprinkle it on, making sure to cover it completely. Once the stain is completely covered, get a brush. It doesn't matter what brush you use, you can even use a toothbrush for this but I like a power brush cause it's a lot less work," Pateras says.


@melissadilkespateras Replying to @👩🏽Daniela & Annsleigh🧑🏽 #laundrytok #cleantok #stainremover ♬ original sound - Laundrytok | Melissa Pateras

Again, if the item is not white it's best to test all steps in a small inconspicuous area first. Nobody wants white armpits on a blue shirt, and since all materials are not made at the same quality, it's probably best to do a test every time you're trying it on a different item of clothing.

After using the brush to gently scrub the stains, Pateras advises to allow it to sit for five minutes before adding more peroxide and scrubbing once more. The treated item sits for anywhere from an hour to overnight before you toss it into the washing machine like normal. An eager viewer gave the trick a try and excitedly reported back with a shirt that looks like it was recently purchased.


@natmanzoc stitch with @Laundrytok | Melissa Pateras who is DOING THE LORD'S WORK #fashionhacks #laundrytok #thrifted #whiteshirt #diy #diyfashion ♬ original sound - nat 🌈🫠 thrifted style & diy

"I need to talk to you guys about this. Okay, so you see this white shirt? You see how the collar looks nice and clean? You see how there are no discernible stains in the underarm area? Yeah, that's cause I did exactly what this person told me to do," the woman says referring to Pateras. "I have tried so many things trying to get stains out of my white shirt. Shout, OxiClean, all kinds of sh-t."

The woman, who goes by Nat on TikTok, says she thought her shirt was beyond saving but this hack now has it looking nearly brand new. So if you've been struggling with getting armpit stains out of your shirts, give this hack a try and see how it works out for you.

From Your Site Articles
how to clean underarm stains
Trending Stories