+
upworthy
Pop Culture

Man discovers his grandfather had a beautiful relationship with a famed Broadway composer

An old record allowed the families to connect.

samaan ashrawi, john kander, twitter

Sama'an Ashrawi and his grandpa Dave. Years later, Ashrawi met John Kander, his grandpa's college boyfriend.

You never forget your first love. Even if it doesn't last, it leaves an indelible mark on you. Sama'an Ashrawi, a writer, artist and host of the podcast The Nostalgia Mixtape, discovered just how true that statement is. In a Twitter thread, Ashrawi details a discovery he made about his grandpa's past romantic life. It goes to show that while we may know a lot about our elders, there's always something new to learn.

"My Grandpa Dave told me he was sure he was gay when he was moving into his dorm room freshman year of college and there was a boy 'with the prettiest eyes;' after Grandpa passed, I learned from my mother who that boy was," the first tweet of the thread reads.


Ashrawi reveals that the boy was named John Kander. If the name isn't familiar to you, I assure you, you know who he is. Kander, along with his creative partner Fred Ebb, wrote the music to some well-known musicals, including "Cabaret," and "Chicago." They also wrote the song "New York, New York," which became a staple song for Frank Sinatra after originally being sung by Liza Minnelli.

In a special episode of The Nostalgia Mixtape, Ashrawi explains that his grandpa Dave and Kander were boyfriends during their time studying at Oberlin Conservatory of Music. And when he was little, he remembered his grandpa sitting down at the piano to play songs from "Cabaret." While at the time he didn't know the emotional significance and deep connection his grandpa had to the music, he says that knowing what he knows now adds a certain "romantic" element to the piano playing.

"It's kind of like when you're in love, and you're far away from the one you love and you look up at the moon and you imagine that maybe they're looking at it at the same time as me," he said.

He then fast-forwards to the pandemic and how it led him to make an interesting revelation about his grandpa Dave's relationship with Kander.

"I had been stuck in the house for about a year," he begins. "There was this one bookcase that I walked by almost every single day, and this particular time I was walking by, I noticed something that for some reason, I had never seen before."

He found a 7" vinyl record, and "everything on the label was written in pencil." The title "Our Boy" was on the label, as well as the year the record was pressed—1951. The composer? None other than John Kander, his grandpa's old boyfriend.

"My mom told me it was a song John had written for Grandpa. I put the record on and listened … some very moody piano solos, it sounded theatrical. I needed to know more. I went online, was John even still alive? To my amazement, the answer was yes! 94 years old," he tweeted in the thread.

Ashrawi felt that Kander's email address wouldn't just be floating around the internet, but after some good ol' internet sleuthing, he discovered that Kander's great-nephew, Jason Kander, is a politician in Missouri. So he slid into the younger Kander's DMs, telling him about his discovery of "Our Boy" and hoping for some more insight and stories about John Kander's relationship with his grandpa Dave.

"Two days later, I had an email from John Kander," he said on the podcast.

He revealed that "Our Boy" wasn't just a song; it was a full one-act musical that Kander had written with the intention of it being a star vehicle for Grandpa Dave. "It was a play about a boxer grappling with the existential feelings of defeat," he tweeted, including a photo of a newspaper clipping featuring the show. Kander also shared some photos from the show that Ashrawi and his family had never seen. He described seeing the images as "beautiful."

On the podcast, he explains that Kander extended an invitation for a meeting if he ever found himself in New York City. "So I went to New York," he says, the theme Kander had written playing in the background. Ashrawi, his mom and one of his sisters had lunch with Kander. His mom hadn't seen Kander since she was a little girl!

After talking to Kander, Ashrawi gained a newfound understanding of his grandpa and the time they had been living in. It was an era when being openly gay could literally ruin your life, and it was clear that being an actor must have gaven him a sense of freedom he couldn't have in real life. Playing another character allowed him to put his own troubles aside for a little while and be free. Kander revealed that the theater was the most special place for he and Dave.

Even though they went in very different life directions (Ashrawi revealed his grandpa became a doctor), it's clear that their time together left a deeply beautiful mark on both of their lives.

True

Making new friends as an adult is challenging. While people crave meaningful IRL connections, it can be hard to know where to find them. But thanks to one Facebook Group, meeting your new best friends is easier than ever.

Founded in 2018, NYC Brunch Squad brings together hundreds of people who come as strangers and leave as friends through its in-person events.

“Witnessing the transformative impact our community has on the lives of our members is truly remarkable. We provide the essential support and connections needed to thrive amid the city's chaos,” shares Liza Rubin, the group’s founder.

Despite its name, the group doesn’t just do brunch. They also have book clubs, seasonal parties, and picnics, among other activities.

NYC Brunch Squad curates up to 10 monthly events tailored to the specific interests of its members. Liza handles all the details, taking into account different budgets and event sizes – all people have to do is show up.

“We have members who met at our events and became friends and went on to embark on international journeys to celebrate birthdays together. We have had members get married with bridesmaids by their sides who were women they first connected with at our events. We’ve had members decide to live together and become roommates,” Liza says.

Members also bond over their passion for giving back to their community. The group has hosted many impact-driven events, including a “Picnic with Purpose” to create self-care packages for homeless shelters and recently participated in the #SquadSpreadsJoy challenge. Each day, the 100 members participating receive random acts of kindness to complete. They can also share their stories on the group page to earn extra points. The member with the most points at the end wins a free seat at the group's Friendsgiving event.

Keep ReadingShow less
Image from Wikimedia Commons.

Van Gogh’s Starry Night.



Van Gough never got to enjoy his own historic success as an artist (even though we've been able to imagine what that moment might have looked like). But it turns out that those of us who have appreciated his work have been missing out on some critical details for more than 100 years.

I'm not easily impressed, OK?

I know Van Gogh was a genius. If the point of this were "Van Gogh was a mad genius," I would not be sharing this with you.
Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Mom shows why painters tape is her 'weird' thing she'll never travel without

For parents with young kids looking to have a little less travel stress this holiday season—this one's for you.

@nicholaknox/Instagram

A mom shows all the ways painters tape can be useful while traveling

Traveling can be stressful for anyone, but it’s particularly challenging for parents with really young kids. The sitting still for long periods of time, the changes in schedule, the abundance of stimuli, the unexpected stomach bugs, the suddenly running out of diaper wipes…all the things that make trips triggering for toddlers and therefore chaotic for mom and dad.

And while there might not be a way to completely avoid every travel-induced aggravation (it’s all part of the journey!) there are definitely tips and tricks and tools to make it a bit smoother of a process.

For one mom, a peaceful trip always begins with a roll of painter’s tape.
Keep ReadingShow less

Christine Kesteloo has one big problem living on a cruise ship.

A lot of folks would love to trade lives with Christine Kesteloo. Her husband is the Chief Engineer on a cruise ship, so she gets to live on the boat pretty much for free as the “wife on board.” For Christine, life is a lot like living on a permanent vacation.

“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“

Living an all-inclusive lifestyle seems like paradise, but it has some drawbacks. Having access to all-you-can-eat food all day long can really have an effect on one’s waistline. Kesteloo admits that living on a cruise ship takes a lot of self-discipline because the temptation is always right under her nose.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pets

Dog mom has the most random phone conversation that adorably captures her dog's attention

This nonsensical conversation has the puppy ready for tacos...now!

Dog mom's random conversation has dog on edge of his seat

Dogs are constantly listening even if we don't know it. Their little ears perk up anytime they hear something suspicious or tilt their heads trying to understand what's being said. Some dog owners avoid saying words like "walk," "ride" or "treat" in front of their dogs because they know it will get the dogs overly excited.

One dog mom decided to test her luck by holding a fake phone conversation while her dog was nearby and it was shared to social media by HrtWarming. The conversation was about as nonsensical as it could get because no one else was on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, did you get the treats? Well, he specifically wanted peanut butter. Yeah. Peanut butter treats. Yeah because we're going to go for a ride later," She says. "I think we're going to go for a ride and go to daycare. Camp. Yeah."

At this point the dog is pretty invested in the conversation as he keeps tilting his head from side to side but as the random conversation goes on, he gets more excited.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Baby still in diapers is blowing people away with his musical ability at the piano

Young Gavrill seems to intuitively understand music, and the best part is that he does it with such joy.

Gavrill Scherbenko appears to be a musical prodigy.

Mozart blew people away with his composing abilities at age 5. Franz Liszt played piano professionally for the aristocracy when he was 9. Yo-Yo Ma played cello for President John F. Kennedy at age 7.

Musical prodigies have fascinated people for centuries with their mastery of music at unexpected ages. Most of us have the same questions: How and at what age were their abilities discovered? Is it nature or nurture or a combination of both? Can prodigies be created on purpose, or is it something no one can predict or control?

While each musical prodigy has their own unique story, one family is giving the world some early glimpses of what an innate sense for music looks like in a baby who's still in diapers.

Keep ReadingShow less

Is it always best to be honest with friends?

A big parenting trend over the past few decades is people giving their children names that help them stand out instead of fit in. Social scientists say that a big reason for the change in America is the rise of individualism.

“As American culture has become more individualistic, parents have favored giving children names that help them stand out—and that means more unique names and fewer common names,” Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University psychology professor, told the BBC.

However, being an individualist comes with some risks. One can be an iconoclastic trendsetter or seen as desperate, inauthentic and cringeworthy.

Keep ReadingShow less