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Mom admits she's not 'teacher's favorite’ because she doesn't care about grades

A lot of people feel the same, but are afraid to say it.

via Canva/Photos

A child who is bored in school.

A mother has stepped out and made a bold claim about her true feelings on her children’s education, and, surprisingly, a lot of people agree with her. Annie, who goes by @mom.behind.the.scenes on TikTok, believes that grades aren’t the best marker to measure a child’s developmental or emotional health.

Annie is a mother of four who has a unique family. She has one biological child and three adoptees. Given the struggles her family has had over the years, she’s a mental health advocate for children who’ve been involved with the foster care system. Annie is also a doula who really enjoys coffee and has some pretty severe PTSD.

Mom says she doesn’t care about grades

“I don't care about my kids' grades. Now, that might not make me the teacher's favourite, because I really never look at what grades my kids have. I truly don't care now if my kids are passionate about their grades,” she opens her video. “What matters to me is that my kids are doing their best and that they have the resources and the opportunities they need in order to do their very best.”

Annie believes that the child’s emotional health surpasses academic achievement

“I care more that they are mentally okay and emotionally okay and passionate about things in life and kind to other people. And those things are not defined by a letter on a piece of paper or a percentile,” she continues. “It doesn't work that way for the rest of life; it doesn't define who my kids are. If my kids have straight Cs, a D or two mixed in, and they're good humans, I'm good. That doesn't define who my children are.”

happy teens, group of kids, big smiles, smiling teens, group photos, A group of happy teens.via Canva/Photos

Surprisingly, many teachers in the comments agreed with Annie. "I'm a teacher who also doesn't really care about grades. I care that my students put forth effort. I tell my students they cannot fail my class if they show up every day and try, and that's true," a teacher wrote. "Yes! You are raising good humans, not good 'students.’ I love that. As a teacher, that’s what I care about in my students," another added. "As a teacher, I have learned that you are correct and the system isn't what's best for everyone," another teacher wrote.

Motivation is the key to real learning

happy tween boy, happy kid, kid with arms raised, headphones, laptop, green shirt A kid wearing headphones raising his arms in celebration.

Ashley Lamb-Sinclair, a high-school instructional coach and the 2016 Kentucky Teacher of the Year, says that motivation is often an overlooked part of child development. “A willingness to learn for its own sake represents intrinsic motivation, while grades and other accolades represent extrinsic. Research has shown time and again that intrinsic motivation leads to more profound learning. The truth is that the willingness to learn leads to achievement, but so often achievement is the only part that matters to others,” Lamb-Sinclair writes in The Atlantic.

We all have different experiences and priorities with our children, and every family has its unique advantages and struggles. Annie’s philosophy may not be right for everyone, but it is a reminder that grades aren’t everything; there are a lot of qualities that we should develop in children that go far beyond the three Rs.

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Pro-choicer called a 'murderer,' hits back with hard questions about what 'pro-life' really means

Is your community going to help pay for healthcare and education costs?

via National Organization of Women

A 'Keep Abortion Legal' sign in Washington, D.C.

Calling a pro-choice person a "murderer" is a sadly common inflammatory insult hurled by pro-birthers. In true medical terms, terminating an embryo is terminating a multicellular diploid eukaryotic organism, not murdering a person. Nonetheless, people still invoke images of infanticide in order to demonize people advocating for reproductive health care access. Normalizing a debate around whether abortion is murder has only further stigmatized the very real existential threats women face without birth control and safe abortion access.

A recent screenshot posted on the Murdered by Words page showed a heated exchange between a pro-choicer and the pro-birth person who called them an advocate for murder. The pro-choicer ignored the initial insult of "murderer" and continued the conversation by grilling the pro-lifer about how they intend to help build a world where people can healthily raise children.

murdered by words, abortion, pro-life debate, pro-choice debate, women's rights, murder, abortion fightAn inflammatory text about abortion rights.via Reddit

The response read:

"What happens next? Once you have succeeded in your quest to stop the termination of a pregnancy - disregarding the circumstances for why the woman or couple wants to terminate (failed birth control, rape, lack of financial stability, unsuitable environment, domestic violence, mental health issues, lack of employment, medical issues, lack of comprehensive sexual education) - what happens next?"

"Who pays for the prenatal or postnatal care? Surely not a couple working a minimum wage who can barely afford their rent. Who provides healthcare and funds medical bills for a single woman with no place to live? Or a married couple who struggle to afford the children they already have? Who assists the millions of children in foster care, still waiting to be adopted? Who helps them when they hit the street at 18 with no money or life skills?"

Will you and your ilk - the self-proclaimed 'pro-life' community help to fund comprehensive sexual education for teens? How about access to affordable birth control? Why not promote a vasectomy as a viable option for men who don't want children? How about funding scientific research so men can have more birth control options than just condoms? Is your community going to help pay for healthcare and education costs? Once you have succeeded in stopping the termination of a pregnancy, what role will you have in ensuring a quality of life for the foetus you so desperately wanted to save?"

abortion, women's rights, pro-life, pro-choice, toronto, university of toronto, canadaPro-life protestors. via University of Toronto/Flickr

The pro-life person simply responded by claiming it's the parents' responsibility, which ushered in a final call out of the hypocrisy of many factions of the pro-life movement.

abortion, women's rights, pro-life, pro-choice, abortion debate, children, babies, protestsA pro-choice protestor holding a sign.via Steve Rhodes/Flickr

The pro-choicer's rebuttal ended with a bang, calling out all the ways the pro-birth community fails to support life after conception:

"And there's the money shot. Here's a wakeup call - you don't get to come into my inbox and sh*t all over my Sunday with your over-inflated Messiah complex with your Facebook profile filled with delusions of superiority declaring yourself to be on the side of "life." when in reality your compassion stops just inside the vaginal canal."
"Don't embarrass yourself and pretend that you give a flying f*ck about what happens once a foetus is born, or about the people who aren't equipped to raise them. Don't pretend you give a sh*t about children when you aren't prepared to do a damn thing about the millions of struggling families on welfare, or the millions of children in foster care."
Don't pretend you give a sh*t about life, when you would rather just sit by and smugly proclaim women should 'close their legs' because it's less energy to do so than it is to lobby for resources that would make it easier for people to become parents. Go away."

Suffice it to say, the pro-birther had no rebuttal after that.

Since this article was published in 2019, there have been massive shifts in abortion law in the United States. Several states began passing very restrictive abortion laws to challenge Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 Supreme Court Decision that made abortion legal throughout the United States. In 2022, the Supreme Court, bolstered by 6 to 3 conservative super majority, overturned Roe in the landmark Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization case. The decision returned legal power to the states and, as a result, abortion was quickly banned or limited in states such as Alabama and Arkansas, and rights were strengthened in others, including California and Michigan.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared six years ago on SomeeCards.

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'Wild child' shocked to be reunited with foster 'mama' from the '80s after emotional X post

"In the ‘80s, she took in a wild, ignorant WHITE child. Y'all, it wasn't the done thing in that area."

via Tamron Hall Show/YouTube

Hannah Smith and Essie Gilchrist reunited after 40 years.

It had been 40 years since Hannah Smith, then 54, had talked to Essie Gilchrist, whom she knew as ‘Mama Essie.' She wasn’t sure if she was alive, but Smith had to express her love for the woman who gave her stability at a time when her life was total chaos. In December 2023, she posted about the difference Gilchrist had made in her life over the year she lived with her and apologized for how she treated her all those years ago.

“I was 12 yrs old when my mother lost the ability to parent me safely. I was taken from her & put into a huge, scary children’s shelter. It took a long time but they finally found someone who would take in a deeply troubled, rather wild child like me,” Smith began a post on X. “I wasn’t all that nice to her. I stole from her. I ran up her phone bill calling my boyfriend. I eventually ran away & was put back in the shelter & never saw her again. I’m sure I broke her heart."

“And… The foundation of EVERYTHING I know about grace, abt dignity, abt fashion, makeup hair care (I still use a pick), elegance, excellence, self-care, patience, love, goodness, generosity & fierceness in the face of pain came from my Mama Essie,” Smith continued.


“Mama Essie, if you’re still with us or peering through the windows of heaven…thank you. From the bottom of my heart,” Smith concluded. “I heard you. I saw you. You made a difference, more than you’ll ever know.” The post went viral, amassing over 2 million views. After just a few hours, Macrina Juliana on X identified Gilchrist and sent Smith a photo. That's when Smith realized why she couldn't locate her. 'Mama Essie' had gotten married and changed her last name.


A lot had changed since the two first met in the 1980s. Smith is now a trauma therapist who lives in Washington state. It took a long time for Smith to find her footing in the world, but Gilchrest’s example was always top of mind. “After I left, I had two and a half decades of continued self-destruction,” Smith recalled on the The Tamron Hall Show. “I was in a cult. I ran off to India; all kinds of things. But all along the way, there was always this sense that there was something better, and I had a picture of what stability looked like.”

Gilchrist, now in her 70s, would go on to foster 20 more children over 30 years, and she is the president of the Women of Color International Stockton. She is also involved with the Junior League of San Joaquin County. She told The Stockton Record that her foster children are all her “goddaughters” and that “God sent them to me.” She also has a daughter of her own.

Soon after Smith identified Gilchrist, the two had a 45-minute phone conversation. "Good Morning Lovelies... 45 minutes with Essie on the phone last night was amazing. So much I forgot," Smith wrote on X. "I’ve felt like I’ve been pacing, wandering...I feel my soul stirring again. I know my story helps people. I feel inspired, infused. I’m here for it. Good things are coming!!"

The two reunited in person on an episode of The Tamron Hall Show where Smith shared her feelings. "I just want to thank you so much because there's no way in the world you would have known that I would come out like this,” Smith said. "I know that what you did every day, the places you took us, the things that you did, really set a good foundation. Thank you, Mama Essie.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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'It's never too late': 19-year-old who aged out of foster care adopted by her caseworker

"We're so happy; we both wanted this for so long."

via ABC Action News

It's never too late to find your family. That's the heartwarming message being shared by Leah Paskalides and the daughter she adopted in 2021, then-19-year-old Monyay. At the age of 11, Monyay was placed into a foster care group home. The pain of having to go through life without a family was always difficult, but it hit hard in her senior year of school. "My senior year is when I went through one of those, 'I don't want to do it anymore, I'm done,'" she told ABC News.

Monyay finished school a year early and took the extra time to focus on volunteering with foster children like her. But she faced a tough road ahead, as she was about to age out of the system. According to the Children's Home Society of Minnesota, the 23,000 children who age out of foster care every year without families face many challenges. Only 3% earn a college degree, half will develop a substance abuse problem, 60% of boys are convicted of crimes, and 70% of girls become pregnant before the age of 21.

After she turned 18, it looked like she would have to enter the real world as an adult without any real support. But then her caseworker and mentor from the Safe Children Coalition stepped up.

Leah had always wanted to adopt Monyay but it was a conflict of interest with her work.

"She always said, 'I wish you could adopt me, wish you could adopt me,' and I couldn't because of the job and then I was watching a documentary where the person had been adopted as an adult, and I had never really heard of it," Leah said.

So she decided to adopt Monyay as her adult daughter. "It was important to me that she knew that she was wanted by somebody, that somebody loved her," Leah told Fox 13. "I could say that as many times as I want, but actions speak louder than words."

On Tuesday, a judge signed the paperwork making the adoption official.

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"Being told 'no' so many times, to hear that 'yes' and to hear them pronounce her as my mom, it's something that's like, oh my gosh, this is for real," Monyay told Fox 13.

The funny thing is the two didn't hit it off at first. Five years ago when Leah was assigned her case, Monyay didn't like her. "She told me what she was going to be doing and helping me out with my case, and I didn't like her; she'll tell you that," said Monyay.

But over the past five years, the two forged an unbreakable bond.

"She was very motivated and had aspirations for a future, and so I knew she just needed support," Leah said. "She was always a kid that did not deserve to go through life without a support system of a family."

The newly-formed family is sharing their story to bring hope to children in the foster care system by letting them know they can be adopted as adults. "It's never too late because I'm grown but I'm still being adopted," Monyay said. "Just because it didn't happen then it doesn't mean that it won't happen."

Monyay hopes to one day open her own group home for teens to help children who grew up like she did.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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