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'Is it supposed to hurt like that?' Guys try a menstrual cramp simulator and can't take it

Every guy should go through this.

via Benz Trap House/TikTok

Men try a period simulator.

Imagine how different the world would be if cis-gendered men had the ability to give birth? Would the state of Texas attempt to ban abortions after six weeks or would they be available on-demand?

Would we live in a country without mandatory paid maternity leave? How much more affordable would childcare be? Would there be a tax on period products? How would we treat people experiencing period pain?

A few brave men decided to see what life was like for people who have periods in a funny but enlightening video that's gone viral on TikTok. In a video posted by Benz Trap House that has over 1.4 million views, a group of guys tried a period simulator to experience what menstrual cramps really feel like.

Period simulators are essentially the same as labor simulators. They're called transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) machines that are designed to relieve pain. But when turned up a notch can create intense, debilitating discomfort.

The group took a semi-scientific approach to the experiment with a woman acting as a control subject. At the beginning of the video, she attaches the simulator to an area near her ovaries and turns it up to ten, the highest setting. In the clip, the group looks impressed as she endures the extreme setting without showing any discomfort.

The men would not do as well.

@benztraphouse

The boys tried a period simulator #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #funny #periodcramps #periodsimulator #viral

When the first guy attempted to wear the period simulator he was shocked by the discomfort. "Is it supposed to hurt like that?" the second guy says before erupting in nervous laughter.

The third guy said that he felt the pain all the way down to his knee caps.

At one point in the video, the period simulator is attached to a woman and a man at the same time. When the device is turned on, the guy is in extreme pain while the woman stands still, claiming the feelings created by the machine are "not even as bad as a cramp."

"Yeah, my cramps hurt worse than this," she added.

A lot of people who menstruate felt validated after seeing the guys experience their first period.

"'You feel that in your back, boi?' every month, friend," a commenter named Crystal said.

One of the most popular comments was from Candyce, who said: "I'm convinced if men could get pregnant they'd have abortion clinics on every corner and paid maternity leave the whole pregnancy."

Another commenter, S DeMarco, pointed out that women have to go through an entire day in pain without a break.

"When he said 'it's stabbing me what do I do?' You go to work, clean the house and continue on bb," she wrote.

Shellz took reality up a notch. "Let's add headaches. And period poops. And bloating. And the feeling of blood leaving you. And the nausea," she wrote.

It's cool that the lighthearted video has gone viral because it'll give some people newfound respect for the pain that people who have periods go through. Some who watched the video thought that period simulators should be mandatory in sex ed classes.

Imagine how different the world would be if everyone experienced menstrual pain just once in their life?


This article originally appeared on 11.10.21

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Modern Families

Sandra Bullock is brutally honest with her kids about race, because she has to be

“I don't care if it scares them because it’s my job to let them know that outside of these safe walls, things are different."

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Sandra Bullock on 'Red Table Talks.'

Sometimes the best protection a parent can offer is presenting the world exactly as it is.

In 2021, Sandra Bullock appeared on an episode of Jada Pinkett Smith’s "Red Table Talk," where she discussed the realities of being a white mom to two black children.

Bullock adopted her son Louis and her daughter Laila between 2010 and 2015, and since the adoption has been praised not only for being so open with her children about race, but for approaching it through their perspective, versus one of privilege.

“To say that I wished our skins matched…sometimes I do. Because then it would be easier on how people approached us,” she admitted.

It might make things easier, but for Bullock and her children, that is simply not the truth.

No parent wants to tell their child that the world can often be a scary and unfair place, but not having the difficult conversation is, as Bullock told BET in 2015, a “disservice.”

She added:

“I can't ride in a bubble with him. I want him to know the truth…that you’ll be judged by the color of your skin rather than the content of your character. But it exists, and I want him to be safe and I want him to be aware. Once he leaves that house and I’m not with him, it’s his life and how he approaches it is his decision…I want to know that I did the best I could as his mom to educate him on the ugliness in the world, and also the beauty.”

In an interview with theGrio, Bullock reflected on a heartbreaking experience after seeing son Louis wearing a hoodie. It’s crazy to think that something as innocent as this could be life-threatening, but as the countless stories of racial profiling continue to make headlines, it is a consistently relevant and crucial conversation to have.

She asked her 6-year-old, “What does it look like you’re doing with the hoodie?”

Louis’ response: “Well, I look like I’m hiding.”

Bullock told theGrio that Louis is well aware that he would be treated differently as a white boy. She reiterated that she “doesn’t care” if that fact scares her children, because it is her “job to let them know that outside of these safe walls, that things are different.”

The responsibility of a parent is to make the children aware of potential dangers they are likely to face, to fully equip and prepare them. For parents with children of color, this includes the added weight of discussing the prejudice waiting for them outside the safety of home.

Though Sandra Bullock is well aware of the hardships her children face, she still says “maybe one day we’ll be able to see with different eyes.”

For a change like that to happen, we will need to see through the eyes of empathy and compassion. This is something Bullock embodies every day that she chooses to have transparent conversations with her children, to “protect them, enlighten them, and show them their power.”


This article originally appeared on 12.3.21

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Man breaks down how living in an all-inclusive resort is cheaper than his average apartment

"I just might find myself on a beach somewhere sucking down cocktails and WHAT OF IT."

Representative Image from Canva

Are resorts the new retirement homes?

Don’t know if you heard, but the cost of living is pretty high these days. Prices for groceries, restaurants, gas, and other necessary items just to, you know, live in the world, reaching an all time high is already making what used to be a decent wage barely enough to get by.

And let’s not forget the biggest financial whammy of all: rent prices. According to Zillow, the average rent price in the US was $1,958 ( recorded in January 2024). That a whopping 29.4% price jump since pre-pandemic times. And of course, that not even taking larger, more expensive cities into account.


It’s enough to make you wonder: “Is it actually cheaper to just live in an all-inclusive resort at this point?”

This question was certainly on Ben Keenan’s mind. In a now-viral TikTok, the 31-year-old compared the cost of living in a resort to that of his Seattle apartment. And let’s just say…it sparked a conversation.

Keenan broke down how much he spent each month on essentials like rent ($2300), utilities ($300), WiFi ($40), car/insurance ($320) and groceries ($400), plus nice-to-haves like dinners out ($300), drinks ($300) and his gym membership ($40). All totaling to $4000.

The first all-inclusive resort that Ben showed, located in Mexico, was priced at $4,500. For a little more, Ben could get everything he was used to having, minus any chores.

"Yes, that's $500 more than what I normally spend on rent, but bear in mind, I'm not paying the most expensive rent out there compared to, like, what other people in Seattle might be paying, for example. Also, is that $500 worth me never having to do a single ounce of laundry or any of my cleaning or whatever?" he said in the clip.

The next resort in the Dominican Republic would be $3,100, already cheaper than what he currently pays. And if he were to, say, split a double room with a roommate, well…you don’t have to be good at math to know that’s a lot less.

In the video's caption, it seems pretty clear that Keenan might be tempted to abandon it al fo that sweet resort life.

"I just might find myself on a beach somewhere sucking down cocktails and WHAT OF IT," he wrote.

@ivebentraveling Honestly, kind of a joke but kind of serious - I might just find myself on a beach somewhere sucking down cocktails and WHAT OF IT 😩 #allinclusive #allinclusiveresort #resortlife #livehack #mexico #dominicanrepublic #travel #travellife #travelmeme ♬ Funny video "Carmen Prelude" Arranging weakness(836530) - yo suzuki(akisai)

Down in the comments section, Keenan’s video struck up a conversation about another affordable alternative lifestyle: cruises. A few even referenced Nancy and Robert Houchens, the retired couple who famously began living on cruise ships because “it’s cheaper than a nursing home.”

Not to mention…it inspired some pretty funny (if not a little bittersweet) jokes from millennials.

“New retirement plan” rent our house and live at an all-inclusive resort with a butler til I die,” one person wrote.

“All inclusive resort aka millennial assisted living,” another quipped.

And perhaps the most millennial joke of them all: “‘Suite Life of Zack and Cody’ got it right all along.”

It’s no secret that many working adults can’t foresee a future where they’d be able to afford the same “American Dream” that their parents achieved. And if having a forever home isn’t a possibility, traveling the world or enjoying a relaxing retirement very well might be the next best thing. And even if finances aren’t an issue, this kind of lifestyle just might align with current values a bit more.


This article originally appeared on 2.19.24

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Education

Woman's family shares video of her actively dying so people can understand to expect

"The more we know, the less we fear."

Representative photo by Ron Lach/Pexels

We don't see people dying until we do, and it's good to know what can happen.

In the era of modern medicine, we are far more removed from death than our ancestors were. That's not something to complain about, of course, but it is something to be aware of. At some point, most of us will experience the death of a loved one, and if we have no idea what to expect through that process, it can be confusing and frightening to witness.

The more we know about the death process, the less fear we have witnessing it

A hospice nurse named Julie has dedicated her career to helping families through the death process and educating people on what dying actually looks like. "The more we know, the less we fear," she says, and it's true. While many of us may want to avoid thinking about death, it's a part of life we should better understand before we find ourselves confronted with it and perplexed by what's happening.

casket in a cemetery with people standing around itFunerals are the closest most of us get to death until a close loved one dies. Photo by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash

One woman's family shared a video with Julie with permission to show it to her audience for education purposes. "This is the most accurate video I have been sent of someone who is truly in the actively dying stages," Julie said. "No one knows what death actually looks like because when it's depicted in the movies or TV, it's false. It's wrapped up in a pretty little bow and it's not accurate."

Julie shared that this video shows some of the stages of a person actively dying—not in pain, just going through the natural death process—as the body shuts down. Specifically, it shows how a person's breathing changes and what's normal to expect. Some may find the video difficult to watch, but she does offer trigger warnings before each clip and explains exactly what's happening so people can choose how much they want to see.

Moaning and gasping while dying doesn't automatically mean pain or suffering

As she explains, this is the "actively dying" phase, and the family shared that the woman in the video did die within hours of the videos seen here. The video highlights three different breathing and vocalization phases, which Julie describes as she shares why it's happening and what it means. For instance, in one clip, the woman is moaning in a rhythmic pattern, which indicates that she's not likely in pain (which loved ones might assume) but rather that the body is self-soothing. Julie reassured the audience that what appears to be struggle or suffering often isn't when a personal is dying. Bodily mechanisms and reflexes can look scary if you don't know what you're seeing, but knowing it's very natural and normal can be enormously helpful.

Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Some commenters said that these clips were exactly what they saw during with a loved one's death, while others shared different experiences. (Much like childbirth, there are some distinct phases and stages of the process, but specifics can vary greatly from person to person, so not everyone will see the same things.) But overwhelmingly, people in the comments were appreciative of Julie's lesson and thankful to the family for allowing her to share:

"I had the privilege of attending both my parents’ deaths. I found it to be a beautiful experience. It was almost like birthing them into their next stage. It was a powerful full circle event. Thank you for educating people about the death process. And thank you to the family who allowed the footage of their loved one to be shared with us."

"My wife recently passed away, and I was prepared because of your videos. Thank You Julie."

"I've never seen a person pass. She was not in pain and I am thankful that you explained this to us. RIP dear lady."

"I’m an RN and this was very accurate. I’m glad to see the kind respectful videos donated by families used to educate people on the natural process of dying! Don’t be afraid, these people are comfortable and at peace! Thank you Julie for showing what we nurses see all of the time and are comfortable with."


man holding an old woman's hand in hospitalBeing with a loved one when they die is a uniquely intimate experience.Photo by Muskan Anand/Pexels

"My Dad passed away in 1999. Wish I had known that all these phases of active dying were truly normal. It was horrific thinking my Dad was suffering minutes before his actual death. Thank you so much for this video. It has brought me much comfort."

"I was with my grandmother when she passed, and it was exactly like this. I’ll never forget it. Honored to have been by her side."

"My brother who died from ALS was similar to the second video but I’d also add there are exceptions (as there is to everything) in that my mom smiled at me, closed her eyes, and then died without a gasp or a pause. It was literally like she just fell asleep and I remain to this day grateful for the ease of her passing. Thanks to the family for their willingness to share such a personal moment in the collective life of their family."

"As a retired nurse in oncology, palliative care, and hospice, I applaud you for the excellent video you shared to educate others on the stages seen prior to death. It's so important."

"In the last eighteen months I’ve lost both my parents to cancer. I was with them at the beginning and the very end and I must say the experience terrified me and I’ve been tormented since. NOW I know that the “stages” were “normal” and it’s brought me great comfort to know they weren’t in pain. I’m grateful that I got to be there for them both (even though they were unconscious when I arrived) but I do believe they knew that I was with them. I cannot thank you or the kind family of this lady enough for sharing this and explaining it in easy to understand way. Thank You so much. x"

"I have been a registered nurse for 24 years. The information provided in your videos is 100% accurate and you are performing a service for families and patients. It's one thing to read about end of life changes in a pamphlet, but hearing details from a hospice nurse along with supporting videos makes all of the difference. Thank you for what you are doing!!"

As Julie said, "The more you know, the less you fear." It may be uncomfortable, but learning about the dying process before you witness it first hand can prevent a lot of misunderstanding and unnecessary trauma for you and your loved ones.

You can see more of Nurse Julie's videos on her YouTube channel here.

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