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15 people share the life-changing phrase they heard once, and it stuck with them forever

"Don't confuse being needed with being valued."

via Canva/Photos

A woman thinking to herself.

Ever have a moment in your life when someone told you something wise that you’ve never heard before, and it felt like time stopped? You feel so grateful to have the wisdom, but at the same time, sad because you wish you had heard it earlier and avoided some of life's unnecessary trials and tribulations.

One of the primary reasons we remember some things people tell us and forget others is emotion. When we experience an emotional reaction to information, the brain perceives it as valuable and stores it in long-term memory. That’s probably why it’s easy to remember the lyrics to the songs we love. The words are combined with an emotional change created by the melody in which they are sung and the accompanying music.

A Reddit user asked people on the AskReddit subforum to share the phrases they “heard only once but it stayed with you forever,” and it inspired a wonderful conversation where people shared the timeless wisdom that they will never forget. Many of the phrases revolved around healthy ways to deal with relationships, making sense of inner dialogues, and how to change, even when it feels impossible.

truth, wisdom, wise phrases, man thinking, mind blown, great advice, memoryA man after hearing great advice. via Canva/Photos

Here are 15 of the most inspiring quotes that people “heard only once,” but they have stayed with them forever.

1. "You can't un-ring a bell."

"My high school history teacher told us - speak carefully to others, you can't un-drive the nail, the hole will always remain. Someone may forgive you, but the damage is done, the hole will remain."

"The axe forgets, but the tree remembers."

2. “You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.”

"I cannot tell you how many times over the last few years I have had to stop and physically tell myself, that it's not my job to make sure anyone understands anything. Helped me put down my phone a number of times and just breath."

"The best thing to learn early in life is to walk away. Some ppl actually think they won the argument because I walked away. I feel like I won because I walked away."



3. "Sometimes, a man on the right track gets hit by a train on the wrong one."

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." - Jean Luc Picard

4. "Don’t confuse being needed with being valued."

"Ouch to that. To add to the confusion: true friendships can arise from responding to a need, and there are people who are really nice to you when they need you. But once you hit a bump on the road and become useless, even if just for a while, reactions vary."


truth, wisdom, wise phrases, man thinking, mind blown, great advice, memoryA woman thinking about some sage advice.via Canva/Photos

5. "Not everyone you lose is a loss."

"This is good advice, especially for people going through a life change (e.g., growing up, moving, graduating, switching jobs, etc). A lot of people have drifted out of my life over the years, and a lot more made me sad at the time than were actually worth getting sad about. A few departures might've even been worthy of celebration, but it didn't feel that way in the moment."

"As I grow older, I've realized a very important skill for my own mental health is being able to cherish and appreciate the person someone was, and even love them, while also appreciating some extra distance between our present selves."

6. "Don't believe everything you think."

"I needed this. Having some hang-xiety from this weekend on how I’m a total weirdo & I need to learn to stfu more. But I know the reality is I just opened up and made new friends."

"Having worked with and known people with mental health struggles, I will say, 'A (depressed or mentally unwell) brain is a liar. It will tell you things that aren’t true. Keep a list of what is real and the facts that support it."

7. "No matter how far down the wrong road you are... turn around."

"The longer it takes you to get off the bus, the more expensive the return ticket will be."

"When you realize you are in a hole, stop digging."


truth, wisdom, wise phrases, man thinking, mind blown, great advice, memoryA man after hearing great advice.via Canva/Photos

8. "The way you talk to / scold your kids is the voice and tone they will learn to talk to themselves in."

"Similarly, I've read, 'Your anger becomes their anxiety.' As a new mom who was raised by an angry father and struggles with anxiety, it is a perspective I'm glad I came upon early. It has redirected both how I speak to her and what I'll allow her to be exposed to."

"God, I feel that. My parents were basically always angry and/or annoyed."

9. "You are under no obligation to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."

"That one always makes me think of something my therapist said: 'You didn’t ask to be born. Your parents wanted a child and you have lived to fulfil their wants and needs for twenty years. You’re allowed to live for yourself now.'"

10. “If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.”

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take in a different form."


11. "Grief is just love with nowhere to go."

"There have been a few similar phrases about grief that have stuck with me:

'The culmination of love is grief, and yet we love despite the inevitable, we open our hearts to it. To grieve deeply is to have loved fully.

And "But what is grief but love persevering.'

Both tore me to pieces and have stuck with me as I've lost people close to me."


12. "The time will pass either way."

"I heard this phrase once in the context of someone who was talking about wanting to go to med school and become a doctor, but they were already in their 30s. They were saying something like, 'I really want to do it but its 7 years! If I start now, I won't become a doctor til I'm 42.' And the other person responded: 'And how old will you be in 7 years if you don't go to med school? The time will pass regardless.'"

13. "Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn’t mean you gained me as an enemy. I still want to see you eat, just not at my table."

"My old boss used to say, 'I wish you well and I wish you away.'"

14. "In the absence of communication, the void is filled with negativity."

"Lack of effective communication in a close personal relationship, a business/professional relationship, a political relationship, etc. can lead to negative assumptions about how they might feel about you, create perceptions of incompetence, or increase suspicions/distrust."

15. "Don't let 'perfect' be the enemy of progress."

"The version we were talking about at my work just today was 'Perfection is the enemy of getting shit done.'"













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Wellness

The powerful Polish mindset that conquers challenges with unwavering spirit and resourcefulness

‘Jakoś to będzie’ is a game-changer.

Photo by Bianca Fazacas on Unsplash

Angel statue in Poland

Over the past decade, Scandinavian concepts like ‘hygge’ and ‘lagom’ have dominated wellness and decorating trends. Hygge, a Danish concept without a direct English translation, captures the essence of coziness, warmth, and comfort in one's surroundings—think candles, fireplaces, and strategically placed lamps. Lagom, on the other hand, comes from the Swedes and roughly means “just enough. " This concept preaches finding tranquility in the balance of all things.

Which, you know, is nice. (Who doesn’t want to live in a lovely, snug home and bathe in the warm glow of candlelight?) What idiot would say no to a perfectly balanced life where there’s never too much or too little?

But sometimes, the biggest concern in life isn’t “How can I make this room cozier?” Life comes at you fast. Money arrives, then leaves even quicker. Families disagree, creating generational rifts that seem insurmountable. Governments fail to protect their citizens, exposing them to war, danger, and poverty. What then? Do Europeans have a neat little phrase for that?


white book near mugHygge is nice, certainly Photo by Pavan Trikutam on Unsplash


“Things will work out in the end”

In fact, the answer is yes. Enter 'Jakoś to będzie' (pronounced 'Ya-kosh toe ben-jay'), which literally translates to "Things will work out in the end." This contrasts sharply with the sunny, optimistic advice that often emerges from idyllic nations like Denmark, the Netherlands, and Sweden. “Learning about happiness from the Scandinavians can feel a little like learning about money from a millionaire when you struggle financially,” writes Olga Mecking. “Instead,” she continues, “why not learn from a country that has been through hell and back — multiple times — and is still standing?”


beautiful multicolored buildings Poland is a living testament to the human spirit Photo by Maksym Harbar on Unsplash

Of course, she is referring to Poland, a Central European country that has existed for 500,000 years. As one imagines, there’s a lot of history sandwiched between those 500,000 years, beginning with the Polish state’s establishment during the 10th century. In the 14th century, Poland joined forces with the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, culminating in the formation of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth—one of Europe’s largest and most populous nations. Then, the strife: during the 18th century, the Commonwealth began to decline, eventually leading to the last King of Poland, Stanislaw Augustus, abdicating the throne in 1975. From there, many wars, insurrections, and violent protests were mounted against the country’s forced partitions, upheld by unwelcomed, occupying armies. However, Poland would not see independence again until 1918, when the Allies agreed to the country’s reconstitution in the aftermath of World War I. From there, even more chaos ensued. Devastation reigned during World War II, as much of the country fell into Nazi Germany’s hands, and Poland saw the near-annihilation of its Jewish population during the Holocaust.

Poland stands today not just as a country but as a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit: despite the traumas that may come, optimism is always available to us. ‘Jakoś to będzie;’ “things will work out in the end.”


The true meaning of ‘jakoś to będzie’

Much like the country it hails from, the concept of ‘jakoś to będzie’ is all about resilience and grit in the face of life’s darkest and most uncertain moments. “It’s the unwavering certainty that we can do anything, no matter what obstacles we face along the way,” says Beata Chomątowska, co-author of “Jakoś to będzie. Szczęście po polsku” (or “Jakoś to będzie, the Polish way of life”). Meanwhile, the BBC describes ‘jakoś to będzie’ as “the perfect philosophy for tough times.”


brown and green concrete building under white sky during daytimeIt's Poland's philosophy for hard times. Photo by Zhi Xuan Hew on Unsplash

In some circles, ‘jakoś to będzie’ is presented as the anti-‘hygge’. While the latter encourages us to retreat into comfort, to adorn ourselves in cozy objects and fuzzy socks, the Polish approach embraces uncertainty head-on. This isn’t the time for hiding under a blanket with hot cocoa; ‘jakoś to będzie’ stresses the importance of acting without overthinking the consequences. It’s a peculiar philosophy that could only emerge from a country that has endured some of the most brutal hardships in history.

So, in an increasingly erratic, unknowable world, it might be wise to borrow a page or two from this Polish school of thought. Whenever a scary, daunting challenge arises—personal crises, difficulties at work, attempts to navigate any number of global problems, etc.—instead of falling into despair, try channeling a bit of this Polish spirit instead. Don’t overthink. Take that risk. Make something happen. ‘Jakoś to będzie’ — somehow, everything will work out. Moving forward is always better than staying still, no matter how frightening. Or, as Polish author Daniel Lis puts it, “[Life] is always a bit of adventure.”

life hacks
Education

Why you should stop saying "I think" if you want to sound confident while speaking

We all do it, but it might be watering down what we're really trying to say.

Photo credit: Canva

Here's what recommended instead.

Clear, effective communication is just as much about what you don’t say as it is about what you do say. It’s incredibly easy for a message to get watered down with filler words and passive phrases, many of which we use on a daily basis.

Case and point: “I think” statements. Sure, this seems like a harmless option. Logical even. After all, it’s honest. Certain factors have led you to think this or that is the right choice, and thus, you are saying so. But as CNBC Make It contributor Lorraine K. Lee explains, overuse of these two well-intentioned words can “diminish your presence and undermine your confidence.”

In fact, Lee lumps “I think” in with “just,” “sorry” and “maybe,” which are more well-known examples of minimizing language, aka passive qualifiers that lessen the meaning of what you're trying to communicate, rather than enhance it. She notes that however "polite" these phrases seem, etiquette comes at the cost of credibility.

media4.giphy.com

Specifically, “I think” can make an opinion, however well informed, come across as nothing more than a passing thought, and therefore not taken seriously. Or it can make the speaker seem “hesitant” of their own perspective.

So instead, Lee recommends swapping “think” for “I recommend,” which conveys the same meaning but is more “action-oriented” and “decisive.” An example she uses is saying “I recommend trying this restaurant,” rather than “I think you should try this restaurant.“

Lee advises that this swap be used in times when you aren’t all that confident as well, with some added caveats for transparency. Using “from my experience, I’d recommend…” for example. It’s easy to see how you can be upfront about uncertainties, while still clearly communicating your stance.

Things get further conflated when you think about how many people use “I feel statements” when they mean to use “I think statements.” “I feel like this restaurant is better than the other one.” “I feel that you should go with this plan.” “I feel like this isn’t the most productive use of our time.” This is not only grammatically inaccurate, as these are opinions one thinks, not feels, but it also pacifies an already weakened version of what you’re trying to say in the first place.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

So, how do we really develop this better speaking habit? Lee recommends (see what we did there?) first listening for when and where those “I think” statements tend to pop up. You can even ask for the folks around you to help keep you accountable. She also suggests allowing for a pause before speaking, which gives you time to make the mental swap before saying anything out loud. And since most of us type exponentially more than we speak, be sure to make those swaps in written communications as well.

Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line; it’s easy for us to go on autopilot with our language. That, plus a desire to not come across as pushy or domineering, can cause us to not really say what we mean. But if we want to be understood, we need to be intentional with what we say, or don’t say.

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Kids

Adorable 5-year-old gives his mom 6 pieces of spot-on advice for handling her nerves

There's no age limit on great advice.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash, @EPrecipice/Twitter

Kids really do say the darnedest things.

Any parent knows that kids can be surprisingly astute little philosophers at the most unexpected times. One minute your child is throwing a tantrum because you sliced their sandwich wrong, and the next they are blowing you away with their deep preschool thoughts. It's enough to give you whiplash, but it's also one of the most fun things about being around kids. You never know what they're going to say and sometimes what they say is just awesome.

Case in point: This 5-year-old who gave his mom some sage advice about handling her nerves. Twitter user @Eprecipice (StressieBessie) shared the story in a tweet thread. She wrote: "When talking about our agendas for the day, I told my 5yo I was a little nervous about a meeting I have today. He said, 'Mama, I am nervous all the time. I know what to do.' So friends, here is all the advice he could fit into the drive to school:"

1. “You gotta say your affirmations in your mouth and your heart. You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’ , ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!’ And you can say five or three or ten until you know it.”


advice, kids, parents, moms, affirmations, good adviceA person holds an affirmation cardImage via Canva

Okay, first of all, the fact that this kiddo knows what affirmations are is awesome. Some people have questioned whether this advice really came from a 5-year-old because of the vocabulary, but kids are sponges and affirmations aren't rocket science. It's become quite common for preschools and kindergartens to teach kids things like this, so it's not actually surprising to hear him talk about affirmations. It's just adorable to hear the ones he suggests.

2. “You gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.”

Okay, so this actually is sound advice. Researcher Amy Cuddy gave a whole TED Talk about how our minds respond to our own body language, and how using confident body language can actually release chemicals in our brains that make us feel more powerful and self-assured. So "walk big" like you mean it is legit.


3. "Never put a skunk on a bus."

No idea what this means, but it's definitely solid wisdom.

4. "Think about the donuts of your day! Even if you cry a little, you can think about potato chips!"

I'm genuinely not sure if this is referencing real donuts or not, which is part of what makes it delightful advice. Metaphorically, "the donuts of your day" could be the positive things that happened, and focusing on those instead of the negative is basic positive thinking. Then again, if you cry and think about potato chips, perhaps he's just referencing comfort with food. Either way, totally feeling it.


5. "You gotta take a deep breath and you gotta do it again."

Pretty much every therapist from every psychological school of thought will tell you that breathing exercises are one of the quickest ways to calm your body and mind. Simple, but seriously sound advice.

6. "Even if it's a yucky day, you can get a hug."

Even though that sounds like a pretty typical thought for a kid, it's also good well-being advice. According to The Conversation, the chemicals released when we hug can help us manage stress, reduce anxiety and manage our emotions.

Smart kid.

He added one more piece of advice for good measure as well for those of us who tend toward distraction.




Like a little Confucius, this one.

Seriously, if you ever want to hear some of the most oddly profound things you'll ever hear in your life, spend some time interviewing a 4- or 5-year-old. They really do say the darnedest things. And if you're nervous about something, just keep telling yourself you're "brave of" it. If nothing else, it'll bring a smile to your face remembering this delightful thread.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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