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22 people share the most eye-opening things their therapist told them that they've never forgotten

"40 years of therapy and those 4 words still resonate with me."

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People share the most impactful things a therapist has said to them.

Good mental health is often achieved with the help of a therapist. Therapists can be an incredible resources for getting additional support during hard times, overcoming challenges, or looking to change patterns. Their words and insights can lead to breakthroughs, realizations, and stick with you for years to come.

So when the question "What's one thing a therapist has said to you that you will never forget?" was asked in a discussion among people who have gone to therapy, many decided to get vulnerable and share the most meaningful things they've been told by a therapist.

These are 22 of the most inspiring, gut-wrenching, and impactful words and pieces of advice that people took away from their therapy sessions that changed their lives.

1. "'Is the relationship you have now, the relationship you'd want for your children?' (to which I had a fast and almost visceral response) and she went on to say 'because this relationship will be the one their subconscious uses as the prime example of what they accept later in life.'" – Sarkasmic_Trix

2. "'Be kind to yourself.' 40 years of therapy and those 4 words still resonate with me." – ScottishWidow64

3. "You are not responsible for other people's happiness. You can contribute to it, but you are not ultimately responsible for someone else being happy or not." – Shot_Razzmatazz5560

happy, happiness, therapy, counsel, mental healthHappy Duck Dynasty GIF by DefyTVGiphy

4. "'Your thoughts are scarier than the real thing.'" – NewsgramLady

5. "Not everyone is going to like you." – Accomplished-Leg8461

6. "When we are growing and developing, the animal part of our brain that ensures our survival is hard wired to tune into our protectors. Parental disapproval stokes fear of death, basically. That is why I absolutely panic when someone is angry with me. That helped me break that circuit and rewire my brain." – SueBeee

7. "Give yourself permission. When you have a permission slip, it makes it physically easier to do what you need to do for yourself and let go of feelings that get in the way. She literally made me get out sticky notes and write things like: 'I give myself permission to let go of guilt. I give myself permission to have the wedding I want. I give myself permission to not be responsible for my mother.'" – iris_cat1313


Permission, therapy, notes, mental health, therapisttv land permission GIF by YoungerTVGiphy

8. "'Analyzing and researching are also avoidance tactics to avoid feeling.'" – Gallumbits42

9. "I was struggling with trying to 'save' my adult daughter dealing with substance use disorder. I was allowing her to live with me and she wasn’t working or improving. I was reluctant (read codependent) to let her go and kick her out because maybe she’d be homeless. Maybe her life would get worse. After months of this, my therapist looked at me in the eye and said: 'Who made you god? Why do you think you have the power to save her?' And that’s when it hit me. I had no control over the situation. I had to let her go. I kicked her out in 2023. Today she’s doing well. Sober, working and heading back to college. ❤️" – YellowFirestorm

10. "As my ex was gaslighting, insulting me, being an all around terrible person to me saying the most awful things about me to me and the kids my therapist told me, 'You can consider him an unreliable narrator.' That helped me with perspective." – ithinksotoomaybee

11. "After sharing some work updates and just needing a sounding board to see if I was overreacting or not: 'I’m going to take my therapist hat off for one second, that’s absolutely f*cked up, ok hat back on'." – Vrey

therapy, therapist, mental health, counseling, helpHbo Therapy GIF by SuccessionHBOGiphy

12. "After 2 months of marriage counseling my therapist said that things were not going to get better and that my husband was not a diamond in the rough he was a piece of coal and even if he wanted and participated in therapy he was never going to get well in this lifetime." – Puzzleheaded_Gear622

13. "After I broke up with my ex, he said 'Thank god, now you don't need therapy anymore'. Was literally our last session." – Aggravating_Pick_951

14. "Regarding looking for love from certain family members, she said, 'It's like a child going to the pantry looking for food, but they're isn't any. It's okay for that child to keep going back to that same pantry looking for food (even if there isn't any) because they don't know any better. But now that you're grown, you may need to accept that there will never be food in that pantry. You need to look for a different pantry.'" – MikeOxmaul

Empty pantry, advice, therapy, therapist, helpHungry Thanksgiving GIF by Looney TunesGiphy

15. "'So you're an orphan.' (Both parents had died by my age of 46)." – AGPym

16. "That sometimes we feel guilt or anger when the real feeling is helplessness. Sometimes it's easier to feel like we failed instead of realizing we had no power over it at all." – OhNever_Mind

17. "'These are feelings, not facts.'" – SweetSweet_Jane


feelings, facts, therapist, therapy, counselFeelings Feels GIF by WE tvGiphy

18. "'Their intent nor if they are consciously choosing to hurt you is what matters. Are they hurting you? Do you want it to continue? That is what matters.'" – Sarkasmic_Trix

19. "'Enabling can sometimes disguise itself as good intentions.'" – naughtytinytina

20. "When discussing past drug use, we talked about how I maintained sobriety throughout both pregnancies. She asked why, nobody forced me to. I said it was the right thing to do. Then she says 'if you can do the right thing for others, why can’t you do it for yourself?' Good question, Casey. Been thinking about that one a lot, even now. It’s helped me work on my self destructive behaviors, helped me prioritize my own needs, and helped me maintain my sobriety now." – Pure_Preference_5773

sobriety, mental health, therapy, therapist, advice, counselSobriety GIF by Lady GagaGiphy

21. "Two things: 'I think it’s time you talk to your doctor'. (my situational depression was progressing to a point of no return, and it was time to be medicated. I went to my doctor that day. My therapist saved my life). 'You’re going to be OK.' She said it so calmly and with such confidence. I believed her. And she was right." – Numerous_Office_4671

22. "'You get to define what "family" means.'" – TrueBelievingMoron

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Education

Why you should stop saying "I think" if you want to sound confident while speaking

We all do it, but it might be watering down what we're really trying to say.

Photo credit: Canva

Here's what recommended instead.

Clear, effective communication is just as much about what you don’t say as it is about what you do say. It’s incredibly easy for a message to get watered down with filler words and passive phrases, many of which we use on a daily basis.

Case and point: “I think” statements. Sure, this seems like a harmless option. Logical even. After all, it’s honest. Certain factors have led you to think this or that is the right choice, and thus, you are saying so. But as CNBC Make It contributor Lorraine K. Lee explains, overuse of these two well-intentioned words can “diminish your presence and undermine your confidence.”

In fact, Lee lumps “I think” in with “just,” “sorry” and “maybe,” which are more well-known examples of minimizing language, aka passive qualifiers that lessen the meaning of what you're trying to communicate, rather than enhance it. She notes that however "polite" these phrases seem, etiquette comes at the cost of credibility.

media4.giphy.com

Specifically, “I think” can make an opinion, however well informed, come across as nothing more than a passing thought, and therefore not taken seriously. Or it can make the speaker seem “hesitant” of their own perspective.

So instead, Lee recommends swapping “think” for “I recommend,” which conveys the same meaning but is more “action-oriented” and “decisive.” An example she uses is saying “I recommend trying this restaurant,” rather than “I think you should try this restaurant.“

Lee advises that this swap be used in times when you aren’t all that confident as well, with some added caveats for transparency. Using “from my experience, I’d recommend…” for example. It’s easy to see how you can be upfront about uncertainties, while still clearly communicating your stance.

Things get further conflated when you think about how many people use “I feel statements” when they mean to use “I think statements.” “I feel like this restaurant is better than the other one.” “I feel that you should go with this plan.” “I feel like this isn’t the most productive use of our time.” This is not only grammatically inaccurate, as these are opinions one thinks, not feels, but it also pacifies an already weakened version of what you’re trying to say in the first place.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

So, how do we really develop this better speaking habit? Lee recommends (see what we did there?) first listening for when and where those “I think” statements tend to pop up. You can even ask for the folks around you to help keep you accountable. She also suggests allowing for a pause before speaking, which gives you time to make the mental swap before saying anything out loud. And since most of us type exponentially more than we speak, be sure to make those swaps in written communications as well.

Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line; it’s easy for us to go on autopilot with our language. That, plus a desire to not come across as pushy or domineering, can cause us to not really say what we mean. But if we want to be understood, we need to be intentional with what we say, or don’t say.

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Kids

Adorable 5-year-old gives his mom 6 pieces of spot-on advice for handling her nerves

There's no age limit on great advice.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash, @EPrecipice/Twitter

Kids really do say the darnedest things.

Any parent knows that kids can be surprisingly astute little philosophers at the most unexpected times. One minute your child is throwing a tantrum because you sliced their sandwich wrong, and the next they are blowing you away with their deep preschool thoughts. It's enough to give you whiplash, but it's also one of the most fun things about being around kids. You never know what they're going to say and sometimes what they say is just awesome.

Case in point: This 5-year-old who gave his mom some sage advice about handling her nerves. Twitter user @Eprecipice (StressieBessie) shared the story in a tweet thread. She wrote: "When talking about our agendas for the day, I told my 5yo I was a little nervous about a meeting I have today. He said, 'Mama, I am nervous all the time. I know what to do.' So friends, here is all the advice he could fit into the drive to school:"

1. “You gotta say your affirmations in your mouth and your heart. You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’ , ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!’ And you can say five or three or ten until you know it.”


advice, kids, parents, moms, affirmations, good adviceA person holds an affirmation cardImage via Canva

Okay, first of all, the fact that this kiddo knows what affirmations are is awesome. Some people have questioned whether this advice really came from a 5-year-old because of the vocabulary, but kids are sponges and affirmations aren't rocket science. It's become quite common for preschools and kindergartens to teach kids things like this, so it's not actually surprising to hear him talk about affirmations. It's just adorable to hear the ones he suggests.

2. “You gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.”

Okay, so this actually is sound advice. Researcher Amy Cuddy gave a whole TED Talk about how our minds respond to our own body language, and how using confident body language can actually release chemicals in our brains that make us feel more powerful and self-assured. So "walk big" like you mean it is legit.


3. "Never put a skunk on a bus."

No idea what this means, but it's definitely solid wisdom.

4. "Think about the donuts of your day! Even if you cry a little, you can think about potato chips!"

I'm genuinely not sure if this is referencing real donuts or not, which is part of what makes it delightful advice. Metaphorically, "the donuts of your day" could be the positive things that happened, and focusing on those instead of the negative is basic positive thinking. Then again, if you cry and think about potato chips, perhaps he's just referencing comfort with food. Either way, totally feeling it.


5. "You gotta take a deep breath and you gotta do it again."

Pretty much every therapist from every psychological school of thought will tell you that breathing exercises are one of the quickest ways to calm your body and mind. Simple, but seriously sound advice.

6. "Even if it's a yucky day, you can get a hug."

Even though that sounds like a pretty typical thought for a kid, it's also good well-being advice. According to The Conversation, the chemicals released when we hug can help us manage stress, reduce anxiety and manage our emotions.

Smart kid.

He added one more piece of advice for good measure as well for those of us who tend toward distraction.




Like a little Confucius, this one.

Seriously, if you ever want to hear some of the most oddly profound things you'll ever hear in your life, spend some time interviewing a 4- or 5-year-old. They really do say the darnedest things. And if you're nervous about something, just keep telling yourself you're "brave of" it. If nothing else, it'll bring a smile to your face remembering this delightful thread.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Culture

Why men should play along if a random girl suddenly approaches and acts like she knows you

Men want to help and here's the perfect way to do it.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

When a woman acts like she knows a man it's a clear signal

Most women, at one point or another, have felt some wariness or fear over a strange man in public. Sometimes it's overt, sometimes it's subtle, but when your instincts tell you something isn't right and you're potentially in danger, you listen.

It's an unfortunate reality, but reality nonetheless. A Twitter thread starting with some advice on helping women out is highlighting how real this is for many of us. User @mxrixm_nk wrote: "If a girl suddenly acts as if she knows you in public and acts like you're friends, go along w[ith] it. She could be in danger."

Other women chimed in with their own personal stories of either being the girl approaching a stranger or being the stranger approached by a girl to fend off a situation with a creepy dude.

One wrote, "A girl did this FOR me one time when I was sitting alone at a bar because she could tell I was in a very uncomfortable situation and I'll never forget her. It was bld of her to do that for a stranger but she literally saved me from some creep ass guy."

Another added, "I had a waitress do this for me once when an ex was yelling at me. She didn't leave me out of her sight and when he went to the bathroom she asked if I was ok and if I had roommates or if I was going to be alone with him after. An actual angel."

Another shared how a woman joined her and her husband as if they were old friends until her friends arrived.

good men, women, men, stalkers, harassment, adviceA man holds a woman's hand while another man watcheswww.flickr.com

"A woman walked up to my husband and I saying 'I haven't seen you guys in so long!!' then hugged us. We were ???, but went w/ it. She then pointed out a group of guys that followed her in, and the one that wouldn't leave her alone. He kept getting drinks right near us. Which was odd because we were in the corner out of the way. She hung out w/ us until her other friends got there. Once we realized what had actually happened we were a little shocked."

User "AmberLUVV" shared a story of being in a Dominican Republic port on a cruise when two girls pretended to belong to her family.

"When I went on a cruise with the fam, we ported in DR for a day. My dad and I decided to go the local shopping market. We had took a break on a bench cuz it was HOT! But all of sudden two girls walk up to us and addressed my dad as their own, and proceeded to say that they had And scared! We played it out for a minute longer until they told us what happened! Some men in a van were following them promising to take them to the beach and wouldn't leave them alone! They pointed out one of the guys and I had seen him turn away when they addressed my dad!"


"Raeloe" shared how a girl approached her at a nightclub to get away from a creepy guy when she'd been separated from her friends.

"I had this happen in a nightclub once. My hubby and I were working PAX and this club let's [sic] the enforcers in for free with their badges, I've never been before so he said c'mon let's go. Bout 2 hours in this girl comes up and dances with me and asks if it's okay to stay awhile. She lost her friends and this dude was creeping on her. I told her to take all the time she needs to find her friends. She came back with them later and gave me a big hug for making her feel safe. Would do it again without hesitation."


Another person shared how they'd been the one who needed help.

"Been the person who needed this. Creepy dude wouldn't leave me tf alone, so I walked over to a group of girls and acted very excited to see them again. They immediately caught on and we started talking about whatever. For over an hour. Bcuz he wouldn't leave. They ended up giving me a ride around town bcuz the creeper was following. Made some friends and we made him run a red light, which had a cop chasing him. They got me home and we hung out regularly after that."

And another explained how grateful she was to a woman on the bus who let her act like they were best friends.

One person even shared a video showing exactly what such a scenario looks like in real life.


Some people responded with various "what if" scenarios, like what if a woman is really trying to lure them into a dangerous situation, or what if they want them to accompany them somewhere that might not be safe? But those questions seemed to miss the point that no one was suggesting anyone go anywhere private with anyone, and also seemed to miss how often women actually do find themselves in situations where they need to turn to a stranger for help.

As one woman wrote, "All the people fighting this saying it'll be a setup are underestimating how often women actually do this to get away from creepy men. I've had to do this at a bar and I've also gone up to a women I saw distressed and pretended to be her friend and she played along. It happens."

men helping women, harassment, danger, women, men Most men want to be helpful to women and this is a great way to do thatPhoto by Nikolas Noonan on Unsplash

"I've yelled back. I've thrown drinks in guys faces. I've pushed them away from myself and others. I've reached out for help and asked other guys or security to step in. Sometimes the path of least resistance for a good night is to blend in real quick."

And others pointed out that women don't generally approach men for help unless they feel like they really need to—usually because they end up in situations where men don't respond to the word "no."

Finally, someone suggested a tip for using your phone to ask a girl if she's in danger while pretending to show her a picture, so you both can be clear on what's really happening.

But the bottom line is, if a girl or woman walks up to you and pretends to know you, more often than not it's because she's trying to get away from someone. Play along and accompany her until she's safe. Guaranteed she'll be eternally grateful.

This article originally appeared five years ago.

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