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kat hong

Parenting

Parents go viral for 'secret' praise technique. Science confirm it’s certifiably genius.

“I promise that if you do this in front of your child, their confidence will skyrocket!”

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice gentle parenting.

There are so many conflicting ideas about building self-confidence in children. Is there a right way? Could praise be harmful? Should everyone receive a gold star? As with many things in life, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one—hiding in plain sight, or just out of it.

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice “gentle-parenting” with their daughter, Nhyara. Shared in a video on Instagram, one of their techniques is talking about Nhyara when she's within earshot but out of sight. These aren't your typical behind-closed-doors parent conversations—no venting about daily frustrations or sharing complaints they'd never say to her face. Instead, they create intentional moments of celebration, offering genuine praise and heartfelt affirmation.


In a viral Instagram post that's garnered over one million likes, Mulwanda writes, “POV: You talk behind your child's back so they can hear you.” Self-described as a “passionate mother, content creator, and small business owner,” Mulwanda naturally overflows with ideas: she writes a Substack, She Who Blooms, which is about “blooming in our own time, in our own way.” She also runs Rooted, a shop where she “carefully curates products that embody the essence of growth, empowerment, and staying rooted in one's true self.”

In the video, Mulwanda and her partner sit in a quiet corner, chatting about their daughter Nhyara while occasionally peeking around to see if she's listening—which she is. With her within earshot but not directly part of the conversation, they discuss their daughter:

“I'm just so proud of her and the things she does,” her mom starts.

“She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out,” adds her dad. They go on to applaud her independence (“She's always telling me, 'Daddy, I want to brush my teeth on my own,'” says Zephi), before concluding that she's amazing.

“She's amazing,” says Mulwanda. “So, so, so amazing,” Zephi responds.



People in the comments were obviously here for it. Parents shared their own versions of this technique, including one who wrote, “As a solo mom, I pretend to make phone calls to a family member and do this.”

Another parent shared a powerful example:

“My son used to be scared of climbing down the stairs. So, my husband said loudly, 'He's very brave! He has shown a lot of courage lately.' The next day, when we tried carrying him down the stairs, he said, 'Nope, I have a lot of courage in me.'”

Others reflected on their own childhoods. One commenter wrote, “No exaggeration, I'd be an entirely different person had my parents been like this with me.”

“Stop, I was just thinking last night, 'When I have kids, I'm going to have loud conversations with my future husband about how much I love our children and how proud I am of them,'” another enthusiastically shared.


child, hiding, parenting, conversations, praiseChildren believe that conversations between adults are more “authentic” and honest.Photo credit: Canva

Research indicates that indirect praise has a stronger psychological impact than direct praise, particularly in young children.

“This is such a powerful way of reinforcing positive behavior,” explains parenting influencer Cara Nicole, who also went viral for her unique approach to parenting. “There's something special about overhearing others talk about you—you know they're being genuine because they're not saying it directly to you.”

This effectiveness stems from children's innate understanding that conversations between adults tend to be more honest than parent-child interactions. From an early age, children recognize that direct conversations with parents often have an intentional, behavior-shaping purpose. In contrast, overheard praise feels authentic and spontaneous, rather than an attempt to influence the child's self-image.

These techniques work best when praise focuses on effort and process rather than innate qualities. Take Nhyara's dad's comment: “She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out.”


Yet, it's crucial to keep praise realistic and measured. Avoid overzealous claims about future achievements, like acing every spelling test for the rest of her life. Children have keen intuition; if they sense insincerity, the strategy can backfire, damaging their trust in parents. Similarly, over-inflated praise—like declaring “incredible” performance for average effort—can burden children with unrealistic expectations.

Keep it simple. A casual remark like, “I noticed how carefully Maya put away her toys without being asked. That was so nice. It really helped keep the house clean.”

The viral response to Mulwanda's video demonstrates the power of gentle parenting combined with thoughtful, specific praise. It's heartening to see modern parents sharing their diverse approaches to showing their children love. For many commenters who didn't experience this kind of upbringing, these conversations offer a path to healing. As Mulwanda eloquently states in her pinned comment:

“To those of you who only heard negative as a child, you were never the problem. You were a child, and you didn’t deserve the experience you had. Your presence on this earth is a blessing, and the fact that you show up every single day is proof of just how amazing you are. You are brave, you are beautiful (you too, boys), and you deserve the world and more.
If any of you feel emotions rising up, close your eyes, hug your inner child, and remind them that you’re there.” - Namwila Mulwanda


"Here's the story of how we created a lush habitat garden."

Nature is healing. After a century of rampant urbanization—deforestation, invasive species, paving paradise and putting up a parking lot—we’re finally coming back to our roots. In Southern California, a mother-daughter design team is leading the way, teaching the public and their clients how to transform ordinary outdoor areas into extraordinary plant sanctuaries. In a viral TikTok video, Donna and Caitlin Whelan demonstrate how they created a lush habitat garden out of an ordinary backyard. It’s captured the hearts of green-thumbed viewers and offers an inside look into the process of eco-friendly landscaping.

Trust the process

Donna and Caitlin run Whelan Design House, a boutique interior design firm that specializes in high-end projects. Drawing on their combined talents and impeccable taste, this mother-daughter team create beautiful living spaces with a human-centered approach. Their commitment to healthy environments shines through in their design philosophy. As they state on their website, "Our world is full of synthetic materials, but we believe there are other options. We guide our clients toward sustainable and environmentally respectful choices and away from chemical-laden fabrics and unhealthy materials."

grass, backyard space, bare, old, before pictureWhere we started.TikTok

Which brings us to the viral backyard renovation. This was more than just a design project: it’s a masterclass in the power of family bonds and environmental innovation. The 18-part video begins with a plain, unremarkable yard. “This is how it looked when we started,” they write. “The grass wasn’t providing anything for the local [ecosystem], and it required way too much water to maintain.”

America has a “perfect lawn” problem. Dreams of white picket fences and a manicured lawn have driven the country into a “green, monoculture carpet,” and our human-dominated landscape is no longer equipped to support functional ecosystems. Like everything else in life, our front lawns do not exist in a vacuum. Everything, from the trees to the flowers to the grass to the soil, all work harmoniously to create a thriving home for insects, birds, and other wild creatures. But when native species are replaced with alien ones, these exotic plants disrupt the flow of life, wreaking havoc and degrading the natural habitat.

So, Donna and Caitlin tore it up. All of it. They removed the neatly cut grass and trees from unknown origins. Ripped up swaths of concrete (“concrete suffocates the soil, preventing the growth of microbes that are essential for healthy soil,” they write).

after photo, pebbles, backyard, green space, oasisParadise in the backyardTikTok

California’s natural beauty

Once the land was returned to ground zero, Caitlin and Donna got to work, replacing the non-native species with ones that were suited to the environment. “Native plants are adapted to the timing of the seasons, harshness of the weather, and water availability of the particular area they evolved within,” describes Defenders of Wildlife, a premier U.S.-based conservation organization. “They are also typically adapted to surviving local pests and, therefore, do not need chemical pesticides.”

So, the dynamic duo began anew, carefully planning and selecting the right plants. They chose drought-tolerant flora that was either native to the area or regionally appropriate, like the wattle-leaf acacia, whose delicate yellow blooms and fern-like leaves added a wonderful splash of splendor to the landscape. Plus, it’s known for its resiliency and minimal water needs—an especially crucial component in Southern California, where droughts are unfortunately quite commonplace. The orange-hued apricot mallow, another star of their garden, brings another pop of color and radiance and attracts butterflies to the space. “The flowers smell like honey,” write the Whelans.


nature. yard, large plants, makeover, native plantsWelcome to Whelan Design House.TikTok

Beyond the lush wildlife, the mother-daughter team also drew upon their impressive art experiences to design the garden of their dreams. They installed a lovely wooden bench, shaded beneath a Palo Verde tree. Small tables that look like sculptures dot the yard. Rustic Saltillo tiles, made of gorgeous terracotta, were used to create a mosaic patio floor. Suddenly, everything clicked. The resulting space is nothing short of awe-inspiring: truly one with nature.

Comments flooded in, with viewers praising Donna and Caitlin for their work. “You created your own slice of paradise while considering the wildlife and native plant species. I’m in awe,” someone wrote. “Thank you for planting native plants in CA, it’s so helpful. So many people buy houses here and plant non-native plants,” another user replied. Their viral TikTok even motivated some to rethink their own backyards. “My house is also a small older Spanish-style with a big backyard,” writes another. “This just inspired me to take action. Even my patio is just like yours, it’s coming down now lol.”

Change is always possible

Tired of mowing the grass and applying harmful pesticides? There are countless ways to incorporate native vegetation into your life, whether you have sprawling acres or a simple, small plot out front. For those interested in following in the Whelans’ footsteps, here’s what you need to know about starting your own native plant oasis:

  • Take stock. Before planning your beautiful new garden, examine your surroundings and evaluate what makes this particular area special and unique. How much sun does the yard typically get? Does it snow here? What’s the elevation like? Is the soil drainage poor?
  • Research, research, research. This is a great excuse for an excursion and to explore your local surroundings! Find a park near you with native plants or a botanical garden. Really get to know your local ecosystem—every region has its own personality and specific native plants that are meant to thrive there.
  • The fun part: Shopping spree. Find a nursery that specializes in native plants. And be curious! Ask questions, like “Where did this plant come from?” “Do I need to fertilize it?” “What soil and soil pH is best?” To create a native plant garden is to become a steward of the land, and the more information you know, the better.
  • Don’t stress. Caitlin and Donna are professionals. You don’t need to transform your entire backyard overnight. Start small, beginning with just a section of the garden. This will take time. In fact, the Whelans note, “patience is incredibly important. The beauty of [the garden] reached new depths with time and only time.”

yard, table, backyard, oasis, makeoverBeauty is possible!TikTok

By choosing native plants and working with nature rather than against it, the Whelans remind us that environmental stewardship is always possible—and can even start in your own backyard. With some careful planning, the correct plants, and an eye for design, anyone can take a step towards contributing to a natural, thriving ecosystem.

Community

14 books that rewired people’s brains and completely changed the way they see the world

“Sometimes the best books aren’t bestsellers—they’re just the right words hitting us at the right time.”

Self-help books, philosophical novels, and children's classics abound.

In his (often misquoted) 1889 essay "The Decay of Lying: An Observation," Oscar Wilde boldly declares that “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.” While this question has sparked countless philosophical debates, there remains an undeniable kernel of truth: in a beautiful moment of kismet, for some indescribable reason, a piece of art resonates with you. For Reddit user @_rahmatullah, that happened when they read a specific book. On the Subreddit “r/productivity”, they wrote,

“A few months ago, I stumbled upon a book (I won’t name it here to avoid biasing responses), and it triggered something I can’t fully explain. It didn’t just change how I think—it changed what I notice, how I react, and how I show up in life. Since then, I’ve made it a habit to collect these transformation stories—not summaries, not reviews—but real-life shifts triggered by reading a book. It’s incredible how the right book, read at the right moment, acts like a psychological lever.”

Then, they posed the following question: “I’m asking this out of pure curiosity (and maybe low-key research): Have you ever read a book that changed your internal wiring in any way—your mindset, habits, or how you see the world? … Sometimes, the best books aren’t bestsellers—they’re just the right words hitting us at the right time.”

Babbel, learning a language, deals, salesA person uses the Babbel appBabbel


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reddit, screenshot, books, recommendations, life-changingQuestion posed on Reddit. Screenshot, Reddit

The comments were flooded with wonderful, life-changing book recommendations, from nonfiction epics about breaking through creative barriers to children’s books that remain on their mind. We’ve collected 14 of the most intriguing, below:


The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (2002)

One user describes the book: “It’s not super long, and it’s written in this really straightforward, almost no-nonsense way. But it hit hard. The whole idea is about Resistance, that sneaky little force that stops us from doing the stuff we actually care about. It made me realize how often I make excuses without even knowing it. And Pressfield’s take is simple but powerful, just show up, do the work and don’t wait for some magical moment.”

Others were quick to follow, with one person commenting, “The War of Art is the only book I have ever read more than once. Well worth the read” and another, “Do The Work is a solid follow up to it. It’s short and to the point. Can easily listen to the audiobook in one sitting when you need a boost to GSD (get sh*t done). It’s 90 min.”


The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (1989)

One of the great self-help books from the late 1980s was recommended by multiple people. One commented, “If I wanted to suggest the ONE book anyone to read in their lifetime, it is it. The idea is simple—be proactive, live by your values, and focus on what’s in your control. It will change the way you think and approach life.”

Another agreed, writing, “7 Habits also changed my life years ago by making my interpersonal relationships better, even though it doesn’t talk much about it. The book just motivated me to be my authentic self, increase my self-worth, and hence improved my relationship with others as a side effect. I had also read how to win friends and influence people at that similar period, but that book didn’t add any value as much as 7 Habits did.”


book, book cover, recommendations, reddit, reading7 Habits of Highly Effective People book cover.Credit: Appnee.com



If the World Were a Village by David J. Smith (2002)

The first children’s book to grace the chat is a best-selling thought experiment that imagines the world’s 6.8 billion population as a village of just 100 people. One person describes it as a “short picture book, but [one that] completely changed how I see the life, world.”


They continue, “I was shocked how fortunate I was compared to all other people who do not even have basic food and water, and at the time, I was so ashamed that I took it for granted. Since then, I’ve traveled around the world, trying to interact with local people, and I try to learn about the history and the reality of these locations. (And I learned English to communicate.) I would not be who I am today without that book.”


The Anatomy of Anxiety by Ellen Vora (2022)

Acclaimed psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Vora’s nonfiction book helps readers understand how anxiety manifests itself in the body and mind as a fear mechanism—and walks them through steps they can take to overcome it. “Before reading this book, I’d been focusing lopsidedly on the spiritual side and suffering from years of anxiety problems and panic attacks,” writes one Reddit user. “This book is a turning point for me, enabling me to view the mechanism of anxiety in the body more objectively.”


anxiety, drawing, illustration, books, recommendationsEllen Vora presents a new way to view anxiety. Credit: www.polyinpictures.com


Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (1966)

First published as a short story in the April 1959 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction (which won the Hugo Award for Best Short Story the following year), Flowers for Algernon is a powerful novel about the treatment of people who are mentally challenged. It explores the complicated relationship between intellect, emotion, and happiness. One person commented that the novel “really made me think about how we all judge and treat other people, especially how we as humans look down on other people in different, subtle ways. It actually made me sick in a way I’ll never forget” and “completely changed my view on how we treat ‘stupid’ people. It’s so profound, because it’s such a short text, but it just hits you like a bullet train. I never cried so much after reading a book before.”

book, book cover, sci-fi, reading, recommendationsFlowers for Algernon book cover.Credit: Blogspot


Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig (1947)

Pirsig narrates a summer motorcycle trip undertaken by a father and his son, which slowly morphs into a man’s search for meaning. “I can’t fully describe the feeling. Part of my love was his concept of ‘quality’ and it almost becomes religion-like,” commented one person. “It’s been probably 25 years since I read it. I should read it again.”


books, book cover, reading, zen, recommendations. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance book cover. Credit: live.staticflickr.com


Ishmael by David Quinn (1992)

“The metaphor about society being a faulty plane that is falling off a cliff but thinks it’s flying simply because it hasn’t hit the ground yet has always stuck with me,” wrote one Reddit user of the philosophical novel. Framed as a Socratic conversation between two characters, author David Quinn explores the ways modern human supremacy causes irreparable damage to the environment.

Another user echoed their praise, writing: “I read a ton of self-help, and all the ones mentioned in this thread I have rolled my eyes at because they reiterate common thought trends with an occasional light bulb moment. Not to say they aren’t helpful, just not necessarily 'change my life' kind of books. Ishmael made me THINK and put life in perspective. It was the book that changed my conservative thinking to a very much empathy based way of living with intention.”


ishmael, reading, book, books, recommendationsIshmael makes the distinctions between Leavers and Takers.Credit: Geoff Whaley


Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (161-180)

The Roman Emperor’s series of personal writings resounded with readers, with one who commented, “Some of the best thoughts on how to live and grow, and how to deal with adversity, mortality, and impermanence. Dude was pretty in touch with the universal human condition for an Emperor.”

Someone else replied, “I think I really need to give a copy of this to my brother… It really helped me out, and I think I see him struggling with things that could be easier for him with some tools he could gain from this.”


meditations, rome, marcus aurelius, author, bookMeditations book cover. Credit: 1.bp.blogspot.com


Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach (2004)

Reddit users are not the only ones who loved this book about embracing life through the heart of a Buddha; beloved Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “Radical Acceptance offers us an invitation to embrace ourselves with all our pain, fear, and anxieties, and to step lightly yet firmly on the path of understanding and compassion.”

Similarly, people on the thread sung its praises, writing “Her RAIN method has literally saved my life and changed my perspective on how I interact with the world and how I treat myself. Thanks to her, I’m heading into a new chapter where trauma doesn’t rule my life,” and “This book helped me tremendously while navigating hard personal situations, including terminal disease in my family.”


The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy (1963)

One person found this book, which posits our subconscious dictates life events, to be tremendously powerful. “I’m a pragmatic person and would question this book would it be introduced to me now instead of when my mind was more open,” they begin. “Maybe it works because it makes you believe that all it takes is a wish and some work… I read it when I was about 15 and have had many things I wished for happen.”

subconscious, mind, book, book cover, recommendationsThe Power of Your Subconscious Mind book cover. Credit: c2.staticflickr.com


Siddhartha Herman Hesse (1922)

Hesse’s ninth novel follows the spiritual journey of a man during the time of the Gautama Buddha. Originally published in 1992, it was later published in the United States in 1951. One user writes, “We sometimes find ourselves most lost when we stop believing other people are going to be able to give us the mentorship we need. Often, literature can teach what straightforward non-fiction texts can’t.”


Siddhartha, books, recommendations, reading, RedditSiddhartha book cover. Credit: c1.staticflickr.com


Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant (2020)

For a user on the thread, Ravikant’s inspirational self-healing book “brought home how essential self-love is, and that it isn’t indulgent or narcissistic. It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible.”


The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1943)

One of the best-selling books of all time, The Little Prince comments on life, adults, and human nature. In particular, one part of the novel stood out for this Redditor: “The part in The Little Prince where the adult looks at his drawing and thinks it’s a top hat and the kid says ‘no, it’s a picture of a snake that just ate an elephant’ really helped little kid me understand how people can see the same things so differently. It seems small now, but as a little kid it’s hard to understand why adults ‘don’t get it’ when it seems obvious to kids. That helped me have patience for my parents/adults, and I think I carried it with me as a beginner builder of compassion for people in general.”


the little prince, book, book cover, readingThe Little Prince book cover. Credit: www.prindleinstitute.org


Get It Done by Aylet Fishbach (2022)

The final book recommendation came from a user’s friend. For them, psychologist and behavioral scientist Aylet Fishbach’s book “changed the way I think about how I manage my time and myself. I rarely think of ‘recovery’ and ‘productivity’ in the same sentence, and generally think in terms of opportunity costs or how to best use my time.”


reading, woman, tea, books, recommendationsSo many book recommendations, so little time. Photo credit: Canva

A fun and certainly thought-provoking round-up of book recommendations—the only difficult thing is knowing where to start!

Culture

Even you can read 50 books a year with these 4 proven tactics for every type of reader

“You know those hours that most people watch TV? That’s when I’m in my chair reading.”

Let's get page turning, people.

Everyone says they "want" to read more, yet when free time arrives, suddenly everything else seems more appealing—playing Solitaire on your phone (with ads, ugh), watching a half-interesting TV series, or scrolling social media for hours. Ernest Hemingway once said, "There is no friend as loyal as a book." Despite this truth, Pew Research found that in 2021, roughly a quarter of American adults (23%) hadn't read a single book in over a year.

For some reason, it’s becoming harder to read. Which is why a person on the subreddit, r/books posed the following question:


reading, audiobooks, books, reddit, schedule“For those that read 50+ books a year, what is your reading schedule?” they implore.Screenshot, Reddit

During vacation, the OP became unexpectedly absorbed in a book. "The experience was different from how I remember it. I lost track of time," they write. This rekindled their love of reading.

“I love the fact that I am reading a little every day. I love that I am losing myself. Previously a part of me know I was reading and it was a struggle,” they share. “But I’ve been reading for 3-4 days and I have only read about 100 pages.”

They turned to the Internet for help, seeking general tips and insights into other people's reading processes. But reading habits aren't one-size-fits-all. They're deeply personal, reflecting our lifestyle, personality, and values in surprisingly profound ways. That's why we've identified four distinct tactics for reading 50+ books per year, each tailored to a specific personality type.

Why aim for 50+ books? Data analyst Alex Birkett explains it best in a 2015 blog post: "I like the number 50. It's about one book per week. It's a good round number, and it sounds impressive (better than 30, or even 40)."

Plus, if you're reading 200-page books (roughly the length of Animal Farm, Fahrenheit 451, or The Great Gatsby), by the end of the year, you'll have read approximately 10,000 pages. And as Birkett puts it, "10,000 pages equal a lot of words, and some of those words are going to help you out."

METHOD #1: For people who love using project management software outside of work

For Reagan Rose, reading 50+ books in a year wasn't about "finding the right time"—he needed to find the right software. "At first, I tried using Goodreads to track my reading, but I just couldn't get into it," he explains on his blog, Redeeming Productivity. "So instead, I put the goal in my Notion goal tracker. Each time I finished a book, I added it to a numbered list. Seeing the number go up encouraged me to keep going." He also checked what week of the year it was to quickly gauge his overall progress.

notion, schedule, reading, productivity, booksTracking his progress helped Rose read more. Credit: Reagan Rose from Redeeming Productivity

METHOD 2: For number-crunchers

College professor John Spencer breaks down the math for us on his blog: “Most people read somewhere between 200-250 words per minute. Let’s go on the safe side and go with 200 words per minute,” he writes. “Most books are around 50,000 words. So, each book takes about 250 minutes to read. So, that’s 12,500 minutes. If we assume you are reading around 357 days a year, then that puts you at about 35 minutes per day. If you read at a faster pace (250 words per minute) you’ll end up closer to 27 or 28 minutes per day.”

From there, he gets even more granular, presenting two models for achieving this level of reading per day:

“One approach would be to carve out 35 minutes per day for reading. It might be your lunch break or it might be an activity you do to unwind each evening,” he writes. “Or you might take two 20-minute chunks and devote them to reading. You could even put those times on your calendar and treat them like meetings. This approach allows you to get into the flow of reading and spend time with more focused concentration on the text.”

reading, graphic, books, productivity, trackingSpencer's plan for reading 50+ books in a year. Credit: John Spencer


METHOD #3: For people who don’t want to make this complicated

Over the past three years, writer and editor Rebecca Deczynski has read 174 books and counting—while balancing a full-time job and a social life. Her advice isn’t fancy, just three simple guidelines:

  1. Diversify your selection, both in length and genre.
  2. Stick to one book at a time.
  3. Get a strong head start. “I’ve found that getting through as many pages as possible in your first reading session makes it helpful to get into the story and finish reading faster,” she writes. “For example, if a book is 250 pages long, I’ll try to read, ideally, at least 40 pages the first time I sit down with it. This helps me invest in the story so that the next time I pick it up, I feel more propelled toward its finish.”

woman, reading, books, lifestyle, goalsSometimes, the simplest solution is best. Photo credit: Canva


METHOD #4: For social butterflies

If you’re the type of person who craves reading for the social element it can bring, Janssen Bradshaw from every-dayreading recommends Goodreads, writing: “You might use it a LOT and be very active on the platform and very social, or you might use it for a very specific single purpose like tracking your books you’ve read, following specific authors you love, or managing your To-Be-Read list. There’s no one right way to do it!” The platform lets you catalog books, share reviews, and connect with friends to see what they're reading. Signing up could be the perfect way to launch your 50+ book journey.

Reading 50+ books in a year may feel insurmountable at first, but sometimes all you need is a little inspiration. With these four different approaches, you can start building your own toolkit for a reading-focused lifestyle.