upworthy

generational differences

Pop Culture

My Gen Z kids see periods in my texts as 'aggressive.' No. They're not. Full stop. The end.

This is one Gen X hill I am willing to die on.

Photo credit: Canva

If you want to freak out a Gen Zer, put a period at the end of a text message.

As a Gen X mom of three Gen Z kids in their teens and 20s, there's a lot that I'm willing to concede and even celebrate when it comes to the gap in our generations. I love Gen Z's global consciousness, their openness about mental health, their focus on inclusivity, and their insistence on wearing comfortable shoes with formal wear. But there's one Gen Z feature that I simply cannot abide, and that is the weaponization of basic punctuation.

"It freaks me out when you say 'yes period' in a text," my high schooler told me one day. "It feels so aggressive, like I feel like I'm in trouble or something." I stared at him incredulously as my 20-year-old laughed but then agreed with him. "It does! The period makes it feel like you're mad," she said.

Ah yes, the period, the punctuation mark famous for its aggressive connotation. Far from being a mere generational quirk, this misinterpreting of benign text messages as aggressive or angry could result in serious communication breakdowns. Talking by text is already hard enough, and now we're adding a layer of meaning that older folks don't have a clue about?

text screenshotA Gen X text convo with Gen ZPhoto credit: Annie Reneau

The kids are serious about this, though. According to Gen Zers, pretty much any time someone puts a period at the end of a text, it means they're mad or irritated. At the risk of sounding like a dinosaur, I'd like to point out that reading into periods in texts like this is just silly. It's silly when the young folks do it with each other, but it's extra silly when they do it with adults who didn't grow up with texting and have ingrained grammatical habits that aren't easy to shake. (And frankly, some of us don't want to shake—I'm a former English teacher, for crying out loud.)

In no reasonable world can "Yes." be automatically viewed as aggressive. It's just not. Neither is "Time to get off the computer." Neither is "Got it." Or "OK." or "Sure." I understand that texting conventions have evolved such that end punctuation isn't necessary, but when did we start assigning negative intentions to very basic punctuation? I mean, if I wanted to be aggressive, I'd text, "HEY—time to GET OFF the COMPUTER!" A period should not be read as anything more than a matter-of-fact, neutral-toned statement. We have other tools for conveying tone in writing—capital letters, italics, bold, exclamation points, and now a whole slew of emojis. A period is and has always been neutral. That's literally the entire point of a period.

I'm even willing to give Gen Z an inch on the thumbs-up emoji—they think that's aggressive, too—only because emojis are new and their meanings are up for interpretation. But a period? Not budging. That little dot has been signaling the end of people's thoughts for centuries. Periods can and do sometimes affect tone in subtle ways—"No, I didn't," hits slightly differently than "No. I didn't."—but their basic inclusion at the end of a thought in no way signals aggression or anger, by text or otherwise. Not on Gen X's watch, at least. This is one generational hill I am willing to die on.

Oh Yeah Mic Drop GIF by Taylor BisciottiGiphy

These unwritten rules of texting seem to have been concocted by Gen Z, but when? And how? Who decides these things? Is there a group of super powerful and influential young adults who put out a bat signal at some point saying that periods are symbols of aggression? If the young folks want to play the reading-into-basic-punctuation game amongst themselves, making communication much more complicated for themselves, have at it. But please don't ascribe intent to us old fogies who've had "declarative statements end in periods" ingrained in us since elementary school.

Texting wasn't always like this. When texting first became a thing, using periods in them was pretty normal. As more and more people started dropping them (and capitalization—another deep English teacher wound), I held firm to their usage, mostly out of habit and feeling like my texts were incomplete without them. As my kids got old enough to text and informed me that periods are viewed by their age group as aggressive, I reconsidered. Should I stop using them, giving in to the tyranny of Gen Z's overthinking? Should I keep using them, embracing the fact that I'm old and set in my ways?

Ultimately, I landed on sometimes using periods in texts and sometimes not—a compromise between my own rigid grammar rules and Gen Z's seemingly senseless texting rules. Except only using them sometimes just confuses my kids even more, which is hilarious. Is Mom mad? Is she not? My daughter said she just has to remind herself who is texting, knowing that I—and most of my generation—simply don't use periods aggressively.

Nope. Not happening. Not ever. Period.

This article originally appeared in February.

From Your Site Articles
generation gap
Pop Culture

'Adults' are honestly confused by these 15 things the younger generations are into

Why do they love to record themselves crying?

via Anna Shvets/Pexels

Teens staring at a pink phone.

Every generation is different from the one that came before. It makes sense. Every group grows up in different economic, cultural, and technological circumstances, so of course they’re going to have different tastes and values. It’s also natural for younger generations to rebel against their parents and create their own unique identities.

However, these days, with the rapid changes in technology and culture spurned on by the internet, for some older people (Baby Boomers, Gen X), the younger generations (Millenials, Gen Z, Gen Alpha) are downright confusing. Further, Gen Z and Gen Alpha were raised during the pandemic, the #MeToo movement, and the murder of George Floyd, which have had an enormous impact on how they see the world.

To help the older folks who may be confused by “kids these days” feel less alone, a Redditor named 5h0gKur4C4ndl posed a question to the AskReddit subforum, “What is something about the newer generations that you can't seem to understand?” A lot of the responses were centered around the younger generations’ relationship to technology.

The older generations also seem concerned that younger kids are a lot more prudish than their parents and should learn how to lighten up and have some fun — a big role reversal from previous generational wars.

Here are 15 things about the younger generations that older people don’t understand.

​1. Recording yourself crying

"THIS IS THE ONE. I do not know how intense your desire for external validation has to be for you to be in the midst of crying and think 'Lights, camera, action baby let's make sure as many people see this as possible.'" — Thrillmouse

"People who record themselves crying are already weird but posting it on the internet is weirder. imagine clicking 'post' to every social media they have. do they seriously not look at what they're posting online?" — TryContent4093


2. Poor grammar

"The emails I get from my students aged 18-25 are such a mess of incoherent garbage, I can't tell if they are lazy or if it's an actual literacy issue. And I'm barely older than they are so if this is a generational gap, it happened quickly!" — NefariousSalmander

"It's a block of text with no capitalization or punctuation. Imagine receiving 6 consecutive one-line texts at once. If you can figure out where the periods should go then you can make sense of it, but it's all texting abbreviations and slang. Something like, 'yo mr y u slow fixin my grade I trned in the lab last class my dad gonna take my phone lmk.'" — Ceesa


3. Learned helplessness

"I'm a middle school teacher. My kids will routinely claim they can't do anything and then shut down and do nothing. And then... It's easy and they do it. So basically it's the degree of learned helplessness. They know to ask when I go over, but if there are twenty kids and I get to them last, they will do nothing (no phones, nothing!) for twenty minutes and act surprised I'm irritated they didn't grab a damn pencil from the freeeee pencils on my desk. And then act surprised they're behind on the assignment!" — Scarletuba


4. The internet is forever

"The lack of understanding that things put on the internet are public forever." — Leading_Screen_4216


5. No self-confidence

"37-year-old attending college for the first time here. They have negative confidence. They barely speak above a mumble, especially when answering a question from the teacher. Most of them would rather die than talk to someone they're interested in. It's like 90% of them are cripplingly introverted." — Intelligent-Mud1437

6. They need attention

"We were saying what we would do if we won the big lottery jackpot. The new 22-year-old hire said he’d become an influencer. Can you imagine winning a billion at 22 and that’s what you would do? Not start a business, travel the world, charity, sports, property… Learn something… but become an influencer… with a billion dollars. I mean, like, he’s gonna hire a marketing company to fabricate interest in his social media? He’s gonna spend money on stupid things to make people cringe or rage comment? With a billion dollars." — Covercall


7. Put your phone down

"Why do you want to watch 100% of a concert, that you paid good money for, through your phone lens?" — LeluWater

"I was yesterday in a Linkin Park cover band concert, a fuckin blast. There was that one guy, that spent every song recording HIS FACE 'singing' along. Not the band, his face. Please wake me up in 1995." — pls_tell_me

8. Phone at the movies

"Why do they go to the movies only to scroll through their phone the entire time?" — IAmASurgeonDoctorHan

"My wife does this. Not at the theater, but we'll be watching a movie or TV show, and she'll be glued to her phone. Then when she looks up she doesn't get what's going on and we have to pause while I explain what just happened and why." — Project2R

9. Paranoia

"I’m in my forties and I manage a small group of people who are in their 20s to early thirties. What I notice most is how anxious and fearful they seem to be. Everyone is out to get them. I often get approached by subordinates who want me to do something about a colleague who is doing them wrong in some way. After I gather more information, it almost always is a case of poor assumption about someone else’s intentions, coupled with a desire to jump to the worst-case scenario. If I ask them a series of probing questions about other possible interpretations they often admit they didn’t consider those possibilities." — Reasonable_Human55

10. Putting on heirs

"I don't understand why most of them want to look rich with expensive s**t and most of them act like they run businesses or something.They take pictures with cars that are not theirs for example. Dude chill, you're 16." — Honest_Math7760

"Because they are indoctrinated by social media that tells them they are a failed human if they don’t become a multi-millionaire entrepreneur." — Outrageous_Glove_467

11. The new Puritans

"This weird new Puritan wave they are riding on. We struggled for generations to free ourselves from oppressive dogmas, and now they are all-in on the whole: 'if you like anything even remotely non-wholesome, you should be arrested and burn in hell.' ... Constantly calling for bans on anything that upsets them, instead of learning how to avoid the things that upset them." — SleepyCera

"The prudishness is so weird to me. Hearing young people talk about body counts' and how you should be married with kids by the age of 25, or you’re past your prime is absolutely insane. Even my Christian grandparents weren’t as sexually conservative as this generation. The complete demonization of partying, drinking, and going out is weird too—like I can see being traumatized by fentanyl and the general lack of safety around drugs, but I did most of my socializing as a young person by going to concerts and nightlife events and meeting people, and they seem to just…not do anything social?" — Counterboudd

12. Can't handle stress

"The absolute lack of capacity to deal with any emotional stress or upheaval without turning into a gibbering mess. ...I had someone messing around in a lecture, playing with their phone and being disruptive. I stopped the lecture and told them to put it away and pay attention or leave. They looked SHOCKED to have been called out and sat there quietly for the next 10-15 minutes until suddenly going all 'deer in the headlights' when asked a question in relation to the topic and then running the full length of the lecture hall and out the room. I was informed the following day that the student had went to counseling services to complain that I had 'put unreasonable pressure on him by asking him questions in class, and set off his anxiety.'" — Indiana_Harris

13. White socks with sneakers

"How pulling up white socks with sneakers was the most unfashionable middle-aged American dad clothing in the entire world. To being fashionable." — Awkward_Moments

"Socks with sandals too. And mustaches. Kids today think dressing like a dorky dad thirty years ago is cool. I laugh at them all the time." — IDigRollingRockBeer

14. Watching video games

"Why they'd rather watch someone else play a video game than play it themselves. That was a punishment when I was a kid, not entertainment." — DeadDevilMonkey

15. External stimulation

"Will never understand the constant need for external stimulation. I’m quite happy just to ponder my own thoughts. I love flying, because it gives me several hours to think on shit without distraction. Ask young people to put down their phone? It’s as if you asked them to chop off their left hand." — Midnight_Poet


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
gen z
Education

People think Gen Z lacks resilience because they've been 'coddled.' Let's unpack that myth.

It's not that Gen Z hasn't seen enough. They've actually seen too much.

Photo credit: Canva

Gen Z was raised in an entirely different world.

As a parent of three Gen Z kids, I’ve spent lots of time up close with today’s teens and young adults. Looking at my kids and their Gen Z peers (ranging from age 13 to 28), I’ve noticed where the stereotypes of their generation hit the mark and where they miss. Some stereotypes are just typical complaints that older generations always have of "young people these days," but there's one barb that Gen Xers and boomers frequently throw out that I think is way off: Gen Zers lack resilience because they've been coddled and protected from the harsh realities of life.

If we use "the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties" as a working definition of "resilience," I find Gen Z to be a mixed bag. Some of them show great resilience, some don't. A 4,000-person survey from Cigna Group found that Gen Z struggles with mental health more than older generations do, however, and child psychologist Stuart Lustig calls Gen Z "the loneliest, least resilient demographic alive today." Maybe that's true. But is it really because they've been coddled?

It's not that Gen Z hasn't seen enough. They've actually seen too much.

Some argue that the “participation trophies” and “trigger warnings” have made young people unable to handle hard things. Others argue that parents are too easy on their children. I'll concede that some Gen X parents swung the pendulum too far from their neglected childhoods, becoming "helicopter parents" who resisted allowing their kids to experience the risks, failures and disappointments that ultimately build resilience. But the idea that Gen Z as a whole has been "coddled"—overly sheltered from the harsh realities of life? That one is strange to me.

These are kids who have done active shooter drills in their classrooms their entire childhoods, and not just as a “this is something that could happen” but as a “this actually does happen with alarming regularity.” Boomer and older Gen Xers may have hid under their desks in Cold War bomb drills, but no bombs were actually ever dropped in the U.S. Gen Zers have seen the aftermath of their peers being murdered in classrooms over and over again.

What Gen Z has been exposed to is mind-boggling compared to what their parents saw ask kids, thanks to being the first generation to never know a world without the internet. Where Gen X had access to a daily newspaper and a half hour of nightly world news, Gen Z has been subjected to constant sensationalized news streams on cable TV and the internet 24/7. But it's not just the vast amount of news. Thanks to smartphone cameras and social media, today's teens and young adults have also borne witness to scenes of violence, tragedy, and trauma unfolding in real-time, on-the-ground, all around the world.

five young adults standing looking at their phonesGen Z is the first full "digital native" generation.Photo credit: Canva

Where boomers and Gen X might have seen someone's dad's Playboys, Gen Z has grown up with devices that contain disturbing, hardcore pornography. Even if they haven't accessed or tripped across explicit content themselves, it's very likely that someone in their peer group has shown them pornography that kids in previous generations would never have been able to access. And it's happening at younger and younger ages.

There's no precedent for the world Gen Z grew up in

There's anxiety that comes along with all of this exposure, even for full-grown adults who have a foundation of a simpler time to reflect back on. Gen Z never had a simpler time. They were born into the ocean of anxiety. Then they got hit by a once-in-a-century (hopefully) global pandemic, adding another layer of uncertainty to the mix.

As a whole, Gen Z hasn’t been sheltered from the harsh realities of the world; it's been bombarded by them in ways that previous generations simply weren’t during their youth. Humans—even children—have experienced hard things things for millennia and evolved to build resilience to life's challenges. What humans haven't experienced until now is having an overload of information and tragic news and disturbing content from around the world available at their fingertips 24/7. There's simply no precedent for raising kids in this world, so raising Gen Z has been one big collective experiment.

Even if conscientious parents have done their best to protect their kids from its pitfalls, the internet is not a separate thing from our lives like it was in its early days. Gen Z has grown up in a digitally connected world. Even parents who manage to hold off on phones or other internet-enabled devices longer than most eventually had to give because it's become nearly impossible to be an active participant in society without the internet. Those of us who grew up in a non-digital world can attest to how much the internet has changed our lives in various, often drastic, ways. Gen Z was born into that world, and despite being "digital natives" are not immune to the anxiety and overwhelm that comes with it.

Maybe we need to rethink what resilience looks like for the "digital native" generations

All of this means that resilience for Gen Z may look different than it did for us. Their young brains have been taxed in ways ours were not. They've had to process so much more, filter so much more, learn how to navigate so much more than we did. I actually think they're doing pretty well, all things considered. They may struggle with mental health a bit more than previous generations, but they're also so much more aware of it and willing to get help with it. They may not stay in jobs with unhealthy work environments and poor work-life balance, but that doesn't mean they're soft—quite the opposite, in fact.

I'm not saying Gen Z couldn't use some good old-fashioned life lessons about picking themselves up and dusting themselves off. But I do think we need to acknowledge that being the first internet-enabled generation has affected them in ways we are just beginning to grasp, and that adjusting our expectations of resilience and reevaluating what resilience looks like for them might be in order.

From Your Site Articles
gen z
Internet

Older people share the surprising ways the world is better than the one they grew up in

These unsung marks of progress might be a refreshing antidote to the doom scrolling.

Photo credit: Canva

Life is certainly different than it used to be. In bad ways, and in incredibly good ways.

Listen, the world today is far from perfect, but staying objective by focusing on the real marks of progress that have been made can keep those feelings of despair and powerlessness at bay, which don’t always do much to help us be the change we wish to see and all that.

Perhaps this is where the wisdom of growing older comes in. Recently, older adults weighed in on the different ways the world now is better than the one they grew up in, and the responses reveal not just the sweeping advances in technology and social justice, but incredible advancements that kind of go unsung for the most part. Check out some of the most eye-opening answers below:

Everyday Life

By and large, there are more options, opportunities and outlets than ever before.

Photo credit: Canva

"Food options for both home cooking and restaurants are much better and more varied."

"If you have niche hobbies and interests, you can actually engage in those things nowadays. Whether it be esoteric books, music, or whatever else, you don't need to travel to the ends of the earth to pursue such things. In the '70s and '80s? Good luck with that."

"It's easier to be single. There's less pressure to be paired and less public shame. Romantic relationships should enhance our lives, not be a requirement to achieve some cultural version of success. I love how it is now! It's very, very good."

"Being a nerd or geek nowadays won't get you ostracized."

Health

Not just medical advancements, but also an increase of awareness regarding mental health subjects. And look, while there's plenty wrong with the healthcare system, there are more free and low cost options with the introduction of resources like Medi-cal, which one person noted.

Photo credit: Canva

"Improved medicine. My mom lived for decades with conditions that her mom would have died from. Many things that were death sentences before are now chronic conditions."

"The openness in which we discuss mental health. While there are improvements still to be made, I think it's great (especially for our youth) that we've created a forum where people can ask for help."

"There was no Medicare or Medicaid for anyone when I was growing up. Now, I'm on both."

"Thanks to modern science and medicine, I have an implant in my brain that allows me to hear after 55 years of being profoundly hard of hearing, even with the most powerful hearing aids. It's awesome, and I wouldn't go back in time for anything."

Social Justice

This is a powerful reminder of why need to keep fighting for equality.

Photo credit: Canva

"Women have less trouble getting jobs that pay pretty well. It used to be that employers could actually advertise (in the newspaper) whether they're looking for a man or a woman, what age they want, and they could even mention they're looking for someone attractive to hire. There is also less gender stereotyping and harassment. We still have a long way to go, but it used to be so much worse than it is now!"

"I grew up in Georgia and Tennessee in the '50s and '60s, so you know where this is going. I remember when watching Black people on TV and holding hands with a white person wasn't allowed. I remember how, in 1966, our high school had 1,200 students, and only three were Black. I left the US in the '80s, but I love coming back and seeing mixed-race couples being the norm. I also love seeing men in buns and tattoos. How far we've come."

"I like being able to buy property, get credit, keep my own name, keep teaching even if I'm unmarried and pregnant, get an abortion if I need one (where I live, anyway), and divorce my husband if I want to."

"I don't have to go to jail just for being a pothead anymore."

"My bullies figured out I was gay before I even knew what it meant. They made the next eight years miserable for me. When I watched the news with my family, I saw segments about gay rights and tried to make it look like I wasn't interested, but I was filing the information away. When the series Soap came out, and Billy Crystal played a gay character, I was amazed. I continued seeing more gay characters show up, and I knew things were changing. I feel like I've witnessed an incredible transformation of American culture. I know there are plenty of more things that need to change, and we lurch backward at times, but the last 50 years have been amazing to me."

Environmental

As we are currently dealing with yet another crises related to climate change with the Los Angeles fires, it's worth noting that improvements were made possible through collective action, and can be made again.

Photo credit: Canva

"Oh god, the smog and pollution were really bad in the early '70s. I don't know how to describe to you what it was like to wake up every day in the summer and just see fog and haze. Everything was dirty. During one springtime, acid rain could damage your car's paint. It was gross. I don't have much good to say about Nixon, but the EPA and the Clean Air Act really made a difference in the quality of life for most Americans."

Technology

The next time you have a meltdown over your bluetooth not syncing properly, give these a read.

Photo credit: Canva

"Cars are safer, quieter, more easily operable, and longer-lived now. As a kid, getting any car to 100,000 miles was a cause for celebration. Now, that's the nominal lifespan of any car. Fuel mileage is amazingly better, plus there's widespread hybrid and EV development — things that were science fiction when I was a kid."

"Navigation software on the phone and in the car. I rarely get lost anymore or have to rely on bad directions."

"I can find out how to fix almost anything on YouTube. After years of fixing my stuff through YouTube, I can now fix most things around the house without having to call anyone or incur the cost of a professional. And it's so much more convenient. Oh, there's a leak in the pipe? Let me run to the shed, get my PVC-fixing stuff, and get everything settled in a couple of hours. So many things that seemed complicated to fix, I learned to do thanks to some videos and a few essential tools."

"Here's one that's a little less obvious: LED light bulbs. The LED light bulb in my front porch light has been going strong since 2013. Also, my parents are in their 80s, so it's nice for them. I replaced every bulb in their house with LED, because changing a bulb in a ceiling fixture when you're 80 is not fun."

"I'm never bored anymore. Growing up, I was bored so often it made me angry. But these days, I have endless books, games, good TV, and hobbies to turn to. Some of that is due to being an adult with money, but streaming, eBooks, and digital games are also a huge part."

"How easy it is to learn new things. There is so much great content online covering everything — from investing to theoretical physics to medieval boat building (if you're into that). None of it would even be approachable for 'regular' folks just a couple decades ago."

"The ease of communication at a very low cost. Back in my youth, long-distance phone calls weren't cheap, so we didn't communicate long distances much. Oh, and being able to get reasonably fresh fish in a non-costal city today is quite a plus."

And there you have it. Just a little respite against the doom scrolling to bolster our spirits and believe that change is indeed possible.

From Your Site Articles
generational differences
Trending Stories