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Five Gen X values from the ’90s that can save today’s world

We're bringing "whatever" back.

1990s, gen x, '90s values

A mix tape from 1992.

A few weeks ago I came across an article about a kid who watches television at 1.5x speed so he can cram as much viewing in as he can. It seemed that his unquenchable desire to get through shows in the Golden Age of television meant he’d sacrifice the entertainment value of the show just to get to the end.

“Man, this guy would have been crucified in 1993,” I thought.

As a 45-year-old card-carrying member of Generation X (those born between 1965 and 1979), I remembered a time when nobody bragged about the amount of TV they watched. In fact, they bragged about not owning a TV. “I don't watch TV, man,” people would say. “It only exists to sell you stuff.”

This complete reversal on the social acceptance of gluttonous TV viewing made me wonder what happened to the values we were raised on as Gen Xers? We were taught that sincerity was for simpletons, everything corporate is evil, old school is always better than the latest and greatest, authenticity is king, conformity is death and there is nothing worse than being a sell-out or a poser.


Nobody would have ever referred to themselves as an “influencer” in 1991—that’s the definition of a sell-out.

“After writing this book, I’m back in the mindset of ’90s thinking, which is that nothing is worse than selling out,” Chuck Klosterman, author of “The Nineties: A Book,” told Esquire. “Nothing was more embarrassing in the ’90s than trying to convince people to like the thing you made."

Deep inside the heart of almost every Gen Xer is a deep-seated feeling of nihilism. We didn’t trust the corporations that laid off our parents or gutted their pensions in the ’80s. In fact, everything corporate was predatory. We didn’t have a lot of faith in family values because we were the first generation raised by single parents or in daycare. We didn’t care much about politics either. Back in the ’90s, Gen X’s aversion to politics was historic.

Of course, these are all generalities about a generation of nearly about 65 million people, but studies show that there are some definite hallmarks of being a Gen Xer.


According to a generational differences document circulated through the business community, Gen X’s core values are “skepticism,” “fun” and “informality.” They’re described as “self-reliant,” “independent,” “unimpressed with authority” and motivated by “freedom.”

In the young Gen Xer, the culture of the era “instilled a wariness and skepticism, and a kind of ‘figure it out for yourself’ mindset,” Paul Taylor, author of “The Next America: Boomers, Millennials, and the Looming Generational Showdown” told The Washington Post. And with that came a sense “that you don’t have to shine a light on yourself. You’re not the center of the universe.”

But things have changed since the ’90s when Gen X was coming of age. We live in an American culture that is fractured by political partisanship, fueled by a constant culture of outrage, crippled by a preoccupation with technology, plundered by greedy boomers and annoyed by overly sensitive millennials. All of this is happening while we face the greatest challenge of our times, climate change.

The answer to all of these problems is simple: admit that Gen X at one point had it right and if we followed its lead, we could reverse these terrible trends. OK, it might not fix all of our woes, but the way things are going now surely aren’t working. Plus, weren’t the ’90s great?

Also, with hat in hand, I must admit that this message is for Gen Xers as well. Many of us have lost our way by forgetting our disdain for authority and skepticism toward institutions. This is a call for us to remember what we once stood for and to fight back by doing what we do best—staying above the fray.

Gen X, it’s time to strap on your Dr. Martens boots and get back to fighting the “Battle of Who Could Care Less.” It’s time we collectively got our “whatever” back and showed the other generations how powerful dismissiveness can be.

Here are the top five Gen X values that we need to embrace again.

5.  Buying vintage items

Nothing was less hip in the early ’90s than wearing mall clothes. If you had any style you shopped at a thrift store and bought used duds from the ’70s and early ’80s and remixed them into something awesome. If you were into hip-hop or skating you shopped at the surplus store and rocked some super-durable Dickies or Carhartt gear. The mood of the times was totally anti-fashion. These days, we live in a world where fast fashion is killing the environment. By embracing the Gen X value of old-school cool, we can help the planet while looking much more fashionable in the process.

4. Corporate skepticism

In the early 2000s, people fell head-over-heels in love with smartphone technology and social media so quickly that nobody stopped and said, “Hey, wait a minute!” Now, we have a world where kids are depressed, the culture has become divided and nobody talks to each other in public anymore, they just stare at their phones. I can totally understand why young millennials and Luddite boomers would fall for the big-tech ruse, but sadly, Gen X was asleep at the wheel and fell victim, too. The generation that embraced the notion that TV rotted your brain needs to remind everyone to go outside and play in the sunshine or read a book. And if you read a book it should be by Bret Easton Ellis.

3. Just say “whatever”

Two of the most popular Gen X phrases were “whatever” and “talk to the hand (because the face don’t give a damn).” These may seem to be flippant responses but they are the correct way to deal with other people’s nonsense and in 2022, we have to deal with a constant barrage of it.

Somewhere along the way, people forgot that it’s even more powerful to ignore someone than to admit they got under your skin. In the world of social media, we unintentionally amplify the most wretched voices by subtweeting, commenting and liking the posts from the army of grifters fighting for our attention.

We also live in an era where many seem to be addicted to outrage. The quickest way to stop fanning the flames of outrage is with a simple, “whatever.” Like dogs distracted by squirrels, we’ve got our heads on outrage swivels these days. Throwing around the occasional “whatever” gives us the time and energy to focus on the problems that really matter and take action.

These days “whatever” matters more than ever.

2. Bring back snobbery

Good taste used to matter. In the 2000s, millennials decided that people have the right to like what they like and that it’s worse to judge someone’s personal taste than to have bad taste. Gen Xers based their entire personalities on taste and demanded integrity from artists and were rewarded by living in a time of superior films and music. These days, no one listens to new music and we’re stuck in a world dominated by comic book movies because no one stood up and shamed people for liking low-effort culture.

1. ​Political apathy

America’s political divide has calcified over the past decade because more and more people are basing their personal identities on their politics. This has created a culture where the dialog between liberals and conservatives has become a shouting match that only makes people dig their heels in further. It’s also created a culture in Washington, D.C. that has attracted a more debased form of politician and led to the gridlock that has halted any sense of progress. Sadly, Gen X has also been sucked into this vortex.

Things were a lot different in the ’90s. Back in 1999, Ted Halstead at The Atlantic noted that Xers “appear to have enshrined political apathy as a way of life.” He added that Gen Xers “exhibit less social trust or confidence in government, have a weaker allegiance to their country or to either political party.”

Compared to what’s going on in America in 2022, this type of apathy seems welcome. Back in the ’90s, taking a “chill pill” could solve everything. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone took one, and then we could open our ears and hearts and have some constructive discussions?

There was a common lament in the 1980s that the boomer hippies had sold out and became boomer yuppies. They went from being concerned with peace, love and the planet to stocks, bonds and conspicuous consumption. Gen X is now in its 40s and 50s and it’s fair to say that we've moved from being the outsiders to creating technological and political machines that are generating the type of conformity that we once railed against.

Now that Xers are at the age where we get to run the world for a few decades, it’s time to recommit to the core values that make us well … us. The great news is that as Gen Xers, it’ll be easy to get back to our roots because we were raised to ironically love the past.


This article originally appeared on 03.10.22

Health

She was 15 when men threw acid in her face. They told her she’d be ashamed forever.

ReSurge International helped Muskan Khatun reconstruct her body, and now she’s using her voice to advocate for burn and gender-based violence survivors.

ReSurge International

Muskan Khatun was only 15 when she survived an acid attack in Nepal.

True

When Muskan Khatun was 15 years old, a group of young men started teasing her on her way to school in Nepal. She found it disturbing and uncomfortable, but they wouldn’t stop.

“I finally told my family,” Muskan says. “My dad confronted them, scolded them, and even slapped one of them. After that, they stopped bothering me for about three months.

“Then, one day, when I was heading to school, I saw them again. This time, they had a jug of acid. They tried to make me drink it, but I refused. In anger, they threw the acid on my face, hands, and chest.”

The attackers were arrested, and good samaritans nearby got Muskan to Kirtipur Hospital, where she was treated by local ReSurge surgeon and Country Director, Dr. Shankar Man Rai and his team. Resurge International is a non-profit organization that provides free reconstructive surgical care and trains surgical teams in low-income countries around the world to increase access to care for people who need it, like Muskan. ReSurge’s team in Nepal has treated 141 intentional burn attacks like Muskan’s over the last seven years.

ReSurge helped Muskan take her life back. But that was only the beginning of her story.

ReSurge International

One teen’s perseverance created historic change in the law.

“As I learned more about the laws in my country, I realized the justice system didn’t provide enough protection or punishment for such crimes,” Muskan says.” It felt like a bigger hurt than the acid attack itself. That’s when I decided to raise my voice and work towards changing the laws to ensure justice for others like me.”

Muskan wrote to the Prime Minister just days after her attack, but got no response. So she took her voice to the public. For two years, she courageously shared her story and advocated for better laws.

Finally, the Prime Minister invited her to his residence. He listened to her experiences and legal ideas, and in just 15 days, he passed a law specifically targeting acid attacks. The law also passed in Nepal’s parliament in record time.

“This was the first time in Nepal that a law was passed so swiftly,” Muskan says. “The new law was very strict, including a life sentence for offenders, marking the most severe punishment in Nepal for such crimes.” In 2021 Muskan was awarded the prestigious International Women of Courage (IWOC) Award by the U.S. Secretary of State for her work to end acid attacks.

Muskan Khutan's awardsMuskan has won multiple awards for her advocacy work.Resurge International

Muskan is not alone. Acid attack survivors around the world have raised their voices to get laws changed—but that’s not the only battle they’re fighting.

Constructing laws is one thing. Reconstructing your burned body is another.

Chemical burns leave survivors with painful scar contractures that restrict movement over the affected areas, forcing them to also relive their trauma every time they look in the mirror or field questions from people about what happened to them. However, burn scars require specialized surgical care, which often isn’t readily available or affordable in most low-income countries.

That’s where ReSurge International comes in.

With a conservative estimate of 10,000 acid attacks each year (many countries don’t keep official records of acid attacks and an estimated 40% of attacks go unreported, according to Acid Survivors Trust International), the surgical needs just for intentional burn victims is significant. Additionally, with 80% of acid attack survivors being women, the gender-based violence aspect of the issue cannot be ignored.

But there’s a gap in surgery accessibility between people in high-income nations, where plastic surgery is often viewed as elective and cosmetic, and those in low-income countries, where it more often addresses critical medical needs.

One way ReSurge is closing that gap is by training the next generation of reconstructive surgeons across Africa, Asia and Latin America, in countries where acid attacks are high. Rather than only sending in surgeons from the outside, ReSurge trains and funds local surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, and occupational therapists, focusing on capacity building and prioritizing locally-led solutions with an extra emphasis on training women to close the gender gap in medicine and surgery. Just last year, ReSurge transformed the lives of over 25,000 patients and trained more than 5,000 medical professionals, with 85% of their surgeries being conducted by local partners.

Raising awareness is another way ReSurge is working to ‘close the gap.’

Seeing a potential for a powerful partnership, Resurge orchestrated the first face-to-face meeting between Muskan and fellow acid attack survivor and Woman of Courage Award Winner, Natalia Ponce de León from Colombia, in June of 2024. Like Muskan, Natalia has worked tirelessly to advocate for survivors’ rights and successfully inspired change to her country’s laws. She currently runs a foundation to ensure survivors of chemical attacks get the medical, psychological and legal care they need and deserve. Through the power of mentorship and mutual support, these two remarkable women will be able to increase their reach and amplify the impact of the incredible work they’re already doing.

Muskan Khutan and Natalia Ponce de Le\u00f3nMuskan and Natalia are working together to advocate for acid attack survivors.ReSurge International

Preventing more attacks like the ones that changed Muskan and Natalia’s lives requires a multi-faceted approach, as does care for survivors who are living with the aftermath of such violence. Survivor advocates and organizations like ReSurge International working together to ensure that care is accessible for all is a reminder of what humans can do when we set our sights on solutions and keep striving to implement them in the most effective way possible.


Interested in helping? This giving season, ReSurge is matching every gift for twice the impact. To make a gift to support patients like Muskan, read their stories, and learn more about how ReSurge International is closing the gap to reconstructive surgery, visit resurge.org/closing-the-gap

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Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch is going viral.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.

Tommy Banks and one of his tasty pies.

On December 2, Tommy Banks, who runs Michelin-starred restaurant The Black Swan at Oldstead, had some distressing news to share with his Instagram followers: thieves had stolen his Tommy’s Pie Shop Van overnight. He was upset about losing the van, but the big problem was that it contained £25,000 ($32,000) worth of handmade pies. The pies were made for the York Christmas Market.

Banks was solen when he shared the news on social media, but he didn’t let it break his Christmas spirit. “Good morning, thought I’d fill everybody in on this morning’s dramas. We’ve been robbed,” Banks opens the video. “It’s kind of sad because it’s a lot of meat and a lot of flour and eggs and a lot of work,” he continued. “Like, so much work.”

Today.com reports that the van was stocked with various types of pies, including steak and ale, butternut squash and sage, turkey and cranberry, and Tommy’s famous root and vegetable pie. The thieves also made away with custard and 100 liters of gravy.

At the end of the video, Banks gives the thieves an opportunity to make things right because they couldn’t do much with a ton of pies that all had his name on them. “I know you’re a criminal, but maybe just do something nice, ‘cause it’s Christmas. And maybe we can feed a few thousand people with these pies that you stolen. Do the right thing,” Banks said.



Banks reiterated his plea that the thieves do the right thing and donate the food in an interview with BBC Radio York. “It's horrible being robbed and losing a van is annoying, but it's insured," he told the BBC. "But the thing that I find really galling is that there's just so much waste. All that food and I'm worried that these guys who've taken it, we've not heard anything from the police yet, will dump them somewhere. ... And if we find it today, we could actually feed some people with it. And I think there's a lot of people who would appreciate that."



After Banks' story hit the news, countless people reached out to help him replenish his stock by offering to donate ingredients and a local catering company even offered to let him borrow their refrigerated van.



After hearing the story on the news, 11-year-old Joshie Harris, a nonverbal autistic boy, was so moved by the story he started making his pies to help Banks’ company. "At the end [of the news report], he said, 'I see sad man, pies finished,' and it blew my mind that he had that kind of comprehension,” his father, Dan Harris, told BBC York.

“Joshie doesn't speak, but cooking and baking are his ways of showing creativity," Harris continued. “He wanted to show, especially at Christmas, that these kinds of things shouldn't be happening.“ Joshie is baking dozens of pies for Banks, including some of the varieties he lost in the theft and his favorite, apple.

On December 3, Banks learned that his van was found and the food inside had expired. “Unfortunately, that was not the news I was hoping to share. The van was found with fake plates on it by the police, but it is badly damaged and will almost certainly be written off. The Pies are on the van but have been damaged and not refrigerated, so are also written off, unfortunately,” he shared on Instagram. “Not the ending to this story I was hoping for. Just want to say a huge thank you to all the well-wishers and businesses who have offered to help us @tommyspieshop and a massive thank you to all the team who are working so hard to restock. ... Wishing everyone a safe and happy festive period."



Popular

Couple in their 30s live permanently on cruise ships for a little over $10K a year

“I’m not a millionaire ... I just live full-time on cruise ships.”

A magnificent cruise ship on the ocean.

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."



The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals they’ve received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000. “It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.



Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises. They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub.



Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

Upworthy has reached out to Brzoska for comment and is still awaiting a response.



This article originally appeared in August.

Mental Health

How a professor with schizophrenia has thrived despite spending hundreds of days hospitalized

"I often have the delusion that I've killed hundreds of thousands of people with my thoughts."

How professor with schizophrenia thrives despite many hospitalizations

Oftentimes when people think of psychotic disorders like schizophrenia there's an level of fear that comes along with it. Media has conditioned people to be afraid of those with psychotic disorders. They're almost always portrayed as out of control, dangerous and physically dirty.

Memorable encounters with psychotic people outside of television and movies usually involve seeing an unhoused person deep in conversation with something only they can see. These are not situations that make for positive frames of reference for psychosis or what a well managed psychotic disorder can look like. There's also an immense amount of stigma behind the word "psychotic." When people hear that word they automatically associate it with someone who is "crazy," not an actual mental health disorder that can be managed with medication.

Elyn Saks is a law professor at University of Southern California and legal scholar has lived with schizophrenia for several decades, racking up hundreds of days in hospitals due to her psychosis, yet no one would be the wiser if they passed her at a grocery store. Saks doesn't fit the stereotype of the media portrayal of a psychotic person but she is in deed psychotic.

woman lying on bed Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

"Psycho" or "psychotic" is referenced in songs, television shows and even titles of movies like "American Psycho," portraying it as people with extremely unpredictable, dangerous behaviors. The two words are typically used interchangeably though they're not actually the same thing. Pyscho is short for psychopathy, which is a characteristic of Antisocial Personality Disorder, while psychotic encompasses visual and auditory hallucinations along with paranoia and more.

Saks is no stranger to they symptoms of psychosis, "when I'm psychotic I often have the delusion that I've killed hundreds of thousands of people with my thoughts. I sometimes have the idea that nuclear explosions are about to be set off in my brain. Occasionally I have hallucinations, like one time I turned around and saw a man with a raised knife. Imagine having a nightmare when you're awake."

In her 2012 TedTalk, she explains that everyone's psychotic experiences are different before explaining some key characteristics. Due to the severity of her schizophrenia, Saks' mental health team did not think she would be a fully successful member of society. The team of doctors on one of her many psychiatric hospital stays explain that her condition has a poor prognosis.

"As a young woman I was in a psychiatric hospital on three different occasions for lengthy periods. My doctors diagnosed me with chronic schizophrenia and gave me a prognosis of "grave." That is at best I was expected to live in a board and care and work at menial jobs. Fortunately I did not actually enact that grave prognosis, instead I'm a chaired professor of law, psychology and psychiatry at the USC Gould Center of Law, I have many close friends, and I have a beloved husband Will," Saks shares.


Saks describes her experiences in psychiatric hospitals in America that can only be summed up as traumatic. She shares the violence used against her when she was involuntarily committed saying, "once there, someone I'll just call the doctor, and his whole team of goons swooped down, lifted me high into the air and slammed me down on a metal bed with such force that I saw stars. Then they strapped my legs and arms to the metal bed with thick leather straps."

The involuntary commitment that she experienced was not due to her being a danger to herself or others. She was simply speaking in gibberish, this was her third hospitalization but her first in the American healthcare system. The mistreatment, stripping of autonomy and use of medical restraints are not uncommon for people with psychotic disorders. But for those who have an extensive support system and a higher education like Saks, the outcomes of a serious mental health diagnosis can be vastly different.

Reducing the stigma around psychotic disorders can also play a large role in more positive outcomes for people. Between brave people like Saks stepping up to tell their stories and organizations like Hearing Voices Network, an impact can be made towards further destigmatization. The Hearing Voices Network is an international nonprofit that not only trains people to facilitate groups for people living with psychosis but they also provide free resources and support for people that experience it.

Being around psychotic people doesn't have to be scary. You're likely around them every day, in the office, at school or at your kid's soccer practice. You're just not aware because they don't look like the people we have been conditioned to fear. Medication and therapy can go a long way and Saks is proof of how successful those with severe mental illnesses.

Most of us have way too much stuff to be holding on things purely for sentimental reasons.

My friend's grandmother was in her 90s when she died, leaving behind a beautiful extended family, a lovely life legacy and boxes upon boxes of things nobody wanted or had any use for. Grams loved to travel and had souvenirs from various places. She kept decades of greeting cards and knicknacks she'd collected. As family members went through her belongings, they kept a few things here and there—a piece of jewelry, a recipe box, a silver serving spoon.

Most of her furniture, clothing and other useful things were sold or given away, but most of her personal items—old albums, mementos, etc.—ended up being thrown away. It was a good lesson for all of us.

The things we keep for "sentimental value" often have the least value to anyone else.

No one, family or stranger alike, wants hundreds of photos of people they don't know and memories that aren't theirs. No one wants a keepsake figurine from a trip they didn't go on with a date that means nothing to them. The things that hold sentimental value for one person are meaningless to everyone else, and the more our lives become saturated with "stuff," the more we are in danger of holding onto too many things because of the memories or meaning we attach to them.

We see it when we try to declutter our homes and have a hard time because of the "sentimental value" of certain things. Parents hesitate when it's time to purge the baby stuff, as all those adorable items remind us of when our kids were little. It happens when we hold onto the hat we bought at Disneyland even though we never ever wear it because it reminds us of our awesome family vacation. The china we inherited that we never eat off of, the plaque we got for outstanding achievement, the favorite book that's falling apart—all of that stuff we keep because "It's a memory!" accumulates.

The problem is that eventually other people have to deal with our stuff.

If people want to collect mementos and keepsakes and hold onto everything anyone ever gives them, that's their right, of course. Some people are more sentimental and nostalgic than others and some people place more meaning on things than others. We can philosophize all day about whether and to what degree people should be detached from material things, but the reality is that every person has their own relationship to stuff that they have to navigate emotionally.

What is universal, though, is that someone will have to deal with our stuff when we die, and the more stuff we have, the more work we end up placing on their shoulders. Going through someone's belongings takes time and prompts a million decisions, which quickly becomes overwhelming. It's even harder when a lot of those belongings clearly meant something to them but mean nothing to anyone else.

It didn't used to be like this, at least not to this level. Average people didn't used to have so many belongings they had to pay for spaces to store it all. We are inundated with stuff, and the more things we attach sentimental value to the more in danger we are of leaving way too much for our loved ones to sort through.

Things aren't memories. They are only memory triggers.

Our memories live in our minds, not in material things. All sentimental items do is trigger our memories, but we don't need physical items to keep our memories alive. So the question is, how do we keep the triggers without keeping all the things?

Photos are some of the best memory triggers, and in the digital age, it's easier than ever to utilize them. If there is an item you're having a hard time parting with for sentimental reasons, take a photo of it and keep it in a "Mementos" folder. A photo of something isn't exactly the same as the real thing, but it can fulfill the same purpose. Sentimental value is all about memories, and seeing the thing in a photo will still trigger those.

I'm not suggesting people never hold onto anything at all for sentimental reasons, but most things we keep as keepsakes don't really need to be kept. It's the memories we treasure, not the items that trigger the memories, so unless a thing has some actual tangible value or some sort of genuine sensory element that would be lost in a photo, take a snapshot and let go of the thing itself.

The more we can disconnect our memories from our physical things—or at least find ways to document those sentimental value items that trigger memories instead of holding onto them—the less overwhelming our living spaces will be for us in the now and the less burden we'll leave for others in the future.