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Joy

Cat decided a delivery driver was her new dad by clinging to his leg and refusing to let go

This is the Cat Distribution System at work, and it shall not be questioned.

A cat picks her new owner in the most unmistakable way.

If you've never heard of the Cat Distribution System, then you probably don't own a cat, or you do, but you acquired your cat in a normal, non-weird way. You know, like at an animal shelter or from some nice lady on social media who had a box of kittens. Some people do get cats that way, and it's one thousand percent a valid way to attain cat parent status.

But some lucky folks get cats through the Cat Distribution System (or CDS for short). Is this system real? The only people who know this are cats. They're also the ones that run the system, so the rules and the way in which you attain your purr machine may be a bit wonky. You may wake up with an unknown cat in your bed even though all of your windows are closed, or you just may be like this delivery driver.

The driver was out picking up orders when a cat came out of the CDS and jumped on the man's leg as he attempted to get back to his car. Thanks to his dash cam, you get to see CDS at work, and so did his mom. The video currently has over 2.8 million views on TikTok.


When the driver asked his mom if he could keep the cat, at first she said no. Then she saw the footage of the cat aggressively and desperately choosing her son to be its new cat dad—and that's how you get a cat through the CDS. Once the cat realized she made the right choice, she snuggled up on her dad's lap as he drove her home.

"We are not cat people," reads the text overlay. "My youngest son was out making deliveries last night. A cat kept following him. Then jumped on his leg and would not let go."

I have news for you, Mom, you're cat people now. It's how the Cat Distribution System works. They train their recruits to turn non-cat people into cat people, one unsuspecting human at a time. If you don't make it to the end of the video, yes, they kept the cat and her name is Venus. That's how the system is designed.

Watch the CDS at work below:

@dretontheborder

#catrescue #catrescueroftiktok I am not a #catperson but maybe now I will be after today. I #Love my #son has a #huge #compassionate #heart #momsoftiktok #rescate #gato

This article originally appeared on 4.12.23

Pop Culture

Matt Damon shared the wildest story about his rescued 'jungle cat' from Costa Rica

"At no point in this story did I have any idea what would happen next," one viewer wrote.

@colbertlateshow/TikTok, Canva

The cat distribution system reaches even the depth of the jungle.

The cat distribution system always works. Even for celebrities. Just ask Matt Damon.

While appearing on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” the “Jason Bourne” actor shared the wildest story about a stray cat he had adopted 10 years ago during a month-long stay at an Airbnb in Costa Rica.

After hearing him describe this next level kitty, you’ll understand why he describes him as “the coolest cat you’ve ever seen.”


“He was living by himself in the jungle…He was hunting. He had two giant holes in his side. He was fighting for his life every night,” Damon began.

Damon and his family fed this tough jungle kitty every night, and by the time came for them to head home, they decided to take their new furry friend with them.

"We decided we gotta take the cat, he's gonna die, now he's relying on us,” Daman joked with Colbert.

Once Damon got the cat home, he figured it would prefer staying out in their backyard. Nope.

"He never went outside, ever again."

Now, this is where the story takes a slightly darker turn. Eventually the cat developed a brain tumor. However, Damon became determined to not “let a brain tumor take this cat out.” After all, this is the toughest jungle cat!

Eventually the Damon family and Jungle Cat moved to New York City. And by this time, the cat had lost a lot of weight and was only walking around in circles (a common symptom of cat brain tumors).

Hoping to find a cure, Damon took his feline friend to a cat neurologist named Chad (which cracks Damon up to share), and Dr. Chad at first tells him to prepare his children and teach them that part of a pet owner’s responsibility is giving them the “dignity” of a humane death when quality of life is too far compromised.

But just when things seem at their worst, this story does a 180 into hilarity.

@colbertlateshow Matt Damon shares an incredible story about the cat he adopted from Costa Rica. #Colbert ♬ original sound - colbertlateshow

“Chad said, ‘I could load him up on steroids. And I go, ‘What do you mean?’ He goes, ‘I mean, I could give him like a BUNCH of steroids.’”

At this point, Damon, Colbert and the audience are all laughing.

Damon apparently asked “are there long term issues?” to juicing his cat, which got an emphatic “YEAH! Massive long term issues with that but we can just see what happens,” from Dr. Chad.

This was apparently two-and-a-half years ago. And not only is Jungle Cat still around, but “jacked like Arnold Schwarzenegger,” Damon joked.

Down in the comments, viewers were begging to see photos of Jacked Jungle Cat.

"MATT WE GOTTA SEE THE CAT!!!" one person demanded.

"WHERE CAN I DEMAND A PICTURE OF ARNOLD SWAGGERCAT?" echoed another.

Others were just enamored by Damon’s storytelling skills.

"Matt Damon always delivers the funniest stories," one person wrote, while another said that he “needed a podcast.”

And perhaps the best comment goes to the person who said, "At no point in this story did I have any idea what would happen next."

While Dr. Chad might have seemed a little out there in his methods, it’s fairly common for pet oncologists to try incorporating steroids like Prednisolone to treat the inflammation associated with brain tumors. However, that’s normally low doses, not using a bunch and seeing what happens. But hey, it seemed to work! And Damon got a really great story out of it. Not to mention more time with a pretty awesome jungle cat.

Joy

Orchestra accompanies Nora the cat playing piano in professionally composed 'CATcerto'

Nora recently crossed the rainbow bridge, but her musical legacy lives on.

Ever seen a cat play the piano with an orchestra?

We've seen a lot of musical cat content here at Upworthy, from The Kiffness blowing us all away with his cat howling duets to a boys choir singing a 19th century opera about a cat fight composed entirely of meows. But somehow we missed one of the greatest cat collaborations ever—Nora the piano-playing cat being accompanied by an entire professional chamber orchestra.

In a video resurfaced from 2009, we see Lithuanian composer and conductor Mindaugas Piecaitis leading the Klaipeda Chamber Orchestra in an original piece composed by him…and Nora the Piano Cat. A large screen hanging behind the orchestra shows Nora at the piano, waiting through the orchestral introduction with her paws on the keys before finally beginning to play her part of the CATcerto.

Of course, we can see that the piece has been composed around Nora's notes and not the other way around, but the effect is extraordinary. Nora is making music, and Piecaitis has embellished and illuminated it with his expert artistic ear.


The piece is a musical journey, from a slow haunt to an upbeat romp and several layers in between. If you close your eyes, you might not even realize the piano is being played by a cat. Even the dissonant chords sound good with Piecaitis arrangement, and it's an impressive feat both for the cat and the composer. (Piecaitis even got to go meet with Nora in person a few years after their collaborative performance. And of course, in typical cat fashion, she only played a couple of notes for him. Nobody can make a cat do anything, including play the piano, which makes Nora's videos all the more delightful.)

Watch and enjoy:

Sadly, Nora crossed the rainbow bridge in February of 2024, after a good, long 19 years with her humans, Betsy and Burnell. As the couple tells it, Nora had been a rescue cat, and one day they heard some repeated notes coming from the piano. The piano playing became a regular hobby for the gray tabby, and after one of Betsy's piano students suggested she share Nora's special talents on YouTube, she became one of the earliest viral video stars.

The "CATcerto" is but one of many Nora the Piano Cat creations, which span from books to artwork, and she's even the main character in an upcoming animated children's show.

"She may be an animated character now and she will live on, but she was real," Betsy told ABC 6 News in Philadelphia. "I just think she wanted to send a message about the importance of music and creativity in the world and I think she will inspire a whole generation of young musicians and artists."

Who wouldn't be inspired by a sweet kitty plunking away on the piano with her paws? Watch Nora's humans describe what she meant to them and the series that's currently in the works:


SOURCE: SUCK UK

Cats ready for combat.

You may think the Illuminati secretly rules the world, but it's actually cats. Cats have been treated like gods since the start of human civilization, whether it was the ancient Egyptians or those of us in the modern world who would do anything for our furry friends.

And to conquer the world, cats need cutting-edge military technology. That's why Suck UK creates awesome cardboard gadgets you can buy for your cats.

"These fun and playful toy houses for your cats are designed to add a sense of adventure to their daily lives about the house. Why spend an afternoon relaxing in a boring, plain old box, when there's the opportunity to become a life saving fireman, thrilling tank driver or LA socialite?!"



"Sit back and have a giggle at your cat 'doing human things' and help keep them away from clawing your favorite sofa!"

"These cardboard playhouses come in various humorous designs; the Tank, the Catillac, the Fire Engine, Plane, and for those kitties with a bit more style, the Cabin and Tepee."

"There's no need to glue or tape and they easily fold away if you need a bit more space around the house."

Just look at these guys having so much fun...

humorous, comedy, marketing toys for cats, kitty toys

Pieces of a puzzle to put together.

via Amazon

pets, animals, playhouse

Macy in the tank.

via Amazon

marketing cat toys, pet tricks, felines

Kiddie might be more deadly than the tank.

via Amazon

funny pictures, creative, military toys

Zippy has a new home.

via Amazon

They even have a plane, every army needs an air force after all.

war planes, military vehicles, cardboard box

Ready for take off.

via Amazon

As you can probably imagine, people are loving the vehicles, though their cats are still turning them down for plain cardboard boxes. One customer writes:

"A few weeks down the line, they both play with it but not as much as the huge cardboard box I got for free from a supermarket... But I like it, so maybe that's what counts! It does look impressive, with color printing on the inside and outside."

firetrucks, animal life, family pet

Kitty in a firetruck.

via Amazon

And they don't only do vehicles. Your cat could be a superstar DJ, too.

playthings, pet games, pet package

Auditions for the new DJ.

via Amazon


This article originally appeared on 12.12,.19