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@mamasreadingjournal/TikTok

"Am I a bad mom for not wanting to go?"

For mom Tatiana (@mamasreadingjournal), the dread of having to go to her kid’s parent-teacher conference was so strong that she posted a TikTok video asking if other moms and dads felt the same way. “Do you go to your kid's parent-teacher conferences every year? Am I a bad mom for not wanting to go? Like I'm gonna go, but I really don't wanna go, you know?” she asked in the clip, just before quipping, “sorry if his teacher finds this, it's not you, I swear, it's me, I'm lazy.”

Considering Tatiana is already in communication with her kid’s teacher through an app, she also couldn't help but wonder why “this can't be an email?” A very, very relatable thought for anyone in the 21st century. Tatiana’s confession was met with…a lot of concern. Clearly, people do, in fact, feel pretty strongly about this topic. And a common point brought up was how a child might feel if their parent doesn’t show an interest in their education in this particular way.


“Your child is worth the effort, showing up to things like this is showing up for them,” one person wrote.

Another asked, “I guess the question is why aren’t you interested in learning from your child’s teacher about how their learning journey is going, if they’re a good friend to their classmates, etc? I see how it can be an inconvenience but being a parent means being involved in their life at school as well.”

A few teachers also weighed in, who admitted that even they didn’t exactly love parent-teacher conferences. Still, one advised, “always go. As a teacher it builds the connection we have with the parent, helps communication to overall support the child.”

Another teacher was a little more blunt, saying, “girl. we don't want to go! but you create so much work for us if you don't go. we gotta document so many attempts of trying to get you in. also, your kid wants you to go. I see hs kids sad that their parents don't care to go. it's important I swear,”

There was even a heated sidebar debate as to which parent, if only one, should be attending said parent-teacher conference—the stay-at-home-parent (SAHP), or the parent who works. Some argued that the SAHP should be the one to go as part of their at-home responsibilities. Others argued that SAHPs are the ones in regular correspondence with teachers, and therefore it’s the other parent that needs to get caught up.

But all moral judgments aside, this mom wasn’t necessarily saying she planned on skipping out. She was merely sharing a feeling that quite honestly a lot of folks can probably relate to. Even the most involved parent on the planet could get overwhelmed with the ever increasing amount of random school events that seem more or less mandatory. That goes double for parents who already have demanding schedules or social anxiety, which has to describe at least 99.9% of parents, right? It more so sounds like she was looking for commiseration than anything else.

To that point, Tatiana did make a follow-up video sharing that she “did not know” that not attending a parent-teacher conference results in more work for the teacher. She assumed it meant they’d “get to go home earlier if I didn't go.” Honestly, fair assumption.

She also clarified that she did in fact go to the conference, and had always planned to go. However, she tells Upworthy that “outta my 15 minute slot we talked about my kid’s actual performance for maybe two minutes. Even my husband was shocked how much we chitchatted vs discussing actual grades and progress.”

But regardless, while she still feels that there’s “too much weight” put on this particular event, she will “go every year with bells on.”

“A mom who’s willing to accept feedback and adjust their attitude. We love to see it,” one astute viewer said.

This goes to show a few things. One, it’s a reminder of how so many aspects of education could stand for a revamp to fit with modern times. Two, productive conversations really can lead to better understanding. And three, parenting comes with going to a lot of things that you’d really rather not go to. Be it a parent-teacher conference or a Peppa Pig pop-up.

Also bonus number four—it can almost always be an email instead.

Arnold Ford shares a birthday—and birthday joy—with one of his students.

When Arnold Ford went to work on his birthday in February of 2024, he knew he was in for a treat. One of his students, a girl named Cali, has the same birthday as he does, and Ford was ready. As soon as he saw Cali come bounding down the hallway with her arms spread wide, the assistant principal tossed his backpack aside, swooped the girl up and spun her around in joyful celebration.

Then the two raced down the hallway, arm in arm, so Cali could give him a balloon and a cupcake she had saved for him. All of this was captured on the security cameras at west Philadelphia's Mastery Charter School, Mann Elementary, and the footage has people cheering for amazing educators.

"I’m so grateful to God for allowing me to see another year," Ford wrote when he shared the video on his Instagram page. "I’m even more grateful that LOVE continues to be the centerpiece of my entire life."

"And… as you can see… I’m also grateful that I get to share a birthday with one of my favorite students," he continued. "And yes… she brought me a balloon and a cupcake, and in exchange, I told her she could dress down today. Fair trade if you ask me!

Watch:

People are gushing over the exchange in the comments.

"Do y'all teach 25th grade!? I need an elementary school experience do-over!" wrote one person.

"Bro my own parents never been that happy to see me 😭," wrote another.

"Can you imagine marinating in that love on a daily basis? What a gift this man is!" shared another.

Several people pointed out that no one else in the video so much as blinked, which is a testament to the fact that this wasn't out of the ordinary. Clearly, Mr. Ford brings this energy to work every day.

"I think it’s important for us to celebrate WITH our students and families," Ford tells Upworthy. "[Cali's] birthday is a big deal to her, and so is mine. We talk about it ALL year. So when that day came, what you saw was just a natural, genuine reaction that we both had. She was excited to be celebrating me, and I was excited to be celebrating her."

Educators like Ford can make such an enormous difference in children's lives, transforming a school into a place filled with positive interactions where kids know people genuinely care about and enjoy being around them. That's what Ford loves about his job as well.

"It really is the reciprocal nature of the work," he tells Upworthy. "We get so much more than we ever put out. Love. Joy. Laughter. The more we sow those things, we see them return exponentially in this work. That’s why when I often say 'Love is the curriculum,' it’s because I recognize how blessed I am to be able to put positivity and joy at the center of my experience with them. It’s humbling."

"In other words, I love that I don’t have to wait until Fridays to get paid." he adds.

Here's to Mr. Ford and all of the dedicated, incredible educators out there who pour their love into helping children learn and grow and thrive. They really do deserve all the balloons and cupcakes—and all the pay raises as well.

You can follow Arnold Ford on Instagram.


This article originally appeared in April.

Miss Smith has some thoughts about water bottles in school.

Americans' attitudes about water have changed over the past 30 years. In the past, a common phrase on the athletic field was, “Don’t drink too much water, you’ll get a cramp,” and the only people with water bottles were hippies. Now, people everywhere walk around with large water bottles, sometimes up to 64oz, attached to themselves like purses. It’s like people leave the house with the sincere belief that they will not be able to find potable water for the next 3 weeks.

The hydration craze has also meant that water bottles have become trendy status symbols and markers of personal identity. Are you more of a Yeti person or a Stanley? The trend has also been passed down to our children, who are encouraged to bring water bottles to school daily. Miss Smith from the Popular Bored Teachers TikTok page had fun with the trend in a video that received over 1.5 million views.


“Does anyone over 30 remember being allowed to have a water bottle in their elementary classroom?” she asks in the video.

@bored_teachers

Do you remember these days?! #boredteachers #teachers #teacher

Miss Smith recalls the only water she had during school back in the day was at lunch or during snack and even then, the time she was allowed at the water fountain was limited.

"You were like gulping for life at that water fountain while kids behind you were like obnoxiously counting down or being like, 'She's getting more than 3 seconds!'" Then, the teacher would tap you on the shoulder, and you were done.

“Can you imagine if we did that to today’s kids? The emails! The calls I would get,” she continued.

The funny thing is that even though kids didn’t drink much water back in the day—and if they did, it was out of a fountain—somehow they survived. Now, we’re raising an entire generation that feels compelled to lug a heavy and costly bottle with them wherever they go, fearing they will suffer from dehydration.

The post resonated with many folks over 30 who lived through the dry days of pre-Millenium America.

"I hear all the time that behavior issues have risen since we were kids; my theory is we were too dehydrated to misbehave," LauraLadymon joked. "We didn’t have water bottles because they also didn’t want us to ever go to the bathroom," UA added. "I don’t remember drinking water as a kid. Unless it was from a hose, it was Kool-Aid or milk. How am I still alive?" Julia said.

The hydration craze was in the news recently after the new, limited edition Stanley + Starbucks water bottle was released at Target stores. The frenzy over the $45 bottle had people camping outside Target and jumping counters to get their hands on newly designed bottles that are hot with younger women.

The bottles promise to keep hot drinks hot and cold drinks cold for an extended period of time. So when you drop your daughter off at first period, her water is still cold by the 3:05 bell rings.

Camped out at Target for the new viral pink Starbucks Stanley cup thing for my kiddo. Ridiculous? Yes. Fun? Also yes…😜#StanleyCup

@vincentmarcus

Camped out at Target for the new viral pink Starbucks Stanley cup thing for my kiddo. Ridiculous? Yes. Fun? Also yes…😜#StanleyCup

This article originally appeared in January.

Education

Instead of rules, this high school teacher created 4 classroom R's that are more effective

A brilliant re-framing of "rules" that empowers students and strengthens character.

There are many ways to manage a classroom, and not all include "rules."

Anyone who has tried to wrangle a classroom of kids knows that it's a formidable feat at any age. Having a group of learners who are engaged, attentive and reasonably courteous is the goal, but managing diverse personalities from various backgrounds and home environments and who have different standards and expectations of behavior can be tricky.

Some teachers take the old-school "law and order" approach, laying out a list of classroom rules everyone is supposed to follow. Those who don't fall in line face consequences of some sort. But high school Language Arts teacher Monte Syrie takes a different tack—one that sees students as valued citizens of a community instead of young people to be controlled.

Syrie, who has been teaching for more than two decades, says he's always striving to make the school year better than the last one. That means regularly reflecting and reevaluating how he communicates with his students, which is how he went from standard classroom rules to reframing them as "Policies and Procedures" to tossing out the concept of "rules" altogether.

Now he offers 4 R's—Roles, Routines, Rights and Responsibilities—as a framework for classroom management.

"I think teachers are framers. We frame the room. We frame the work. We frame the day. We frame the year. We frame the entire experience–whether we want to or not," Syrie shares. "The kids look to us for the frame. What we do–or don’t do–decides the day. And, man oh man, is there pressure in that. But, there’s also possibility–powerful possibility."

Syrie explains in his book about teaching that kids respond differently when teachers frame things differently, and being greeted with classroom rules on day one evokes a specific response in kids.

"We seem to believe if we don’t get rules in front of the kids immediately, we will never get the kids where we want them," he writes. "I don’t believe in this anymore. I did, I suppose, at one point, but at this point, I believed there was a better way to 'get kids.'"

Syrie decided to reframe his classroom policies as as Roles that let kids see themselves through various lenses, Routines that tell them what to expect, Rights that give them individual autonomy and Responsibilities that help them contribute to a shared community.

So what does that look like?

Roles in Syrie's classroom include the roles of Yourself (the most important role, he says), Valued Community Member, Reader, Writer, Mistake Maker, and Reflector. He explains to the students what each of these roles entails and why it's important for kids to take them on.

Routines include daily and weekly activities such as starting class with a community check-in called Smiles and Frowns and ending class with Journey Journaling. Each day of the week also has a specific focus, such as writing, reading or grammar.

Rights include things like, "I have the right to feel safe," "I have the right to learn," and "I have the right to ask as many questions as l want." Syrie also gives students the right to eat and drink in class and the right to make mistakes without fear of penalty.


teacher talking to students in a classroomMonte Syrie talks to a student in one of his classes. Photo credit: Monte Syrie

As for Responsibilities, students have a responsibility to get to class on time, know and honor the class routines, self-regulate use of electronic devices in the classroom, be a great listener, self-regulate leaving the room, take ownership of their learning, and be sensitive and respectful of others' viewpoints, among other things. Students are expected to do their best to fulfill these responsibilities and to handle any breaches (such as being late to class) with courtesy and minimal disruption to the rest of the class. If they are struggling with any of these responsibilities, interventions include reminder(s), conversation(s), parent contact, and as a last and unlikely resort, office referral.

The beauty of Syrie's four R's is that they demonstrate a sense of trust in students right off the bat, helping them see themselves both as responsible individuals and as valued parts of a communal whole. When people feel trusted and valued and are empowered by a clear balance of rights and responsibilities, most tend to rise to the occasion—even when they're in high school. That's not to say that this framing eliminates all classroom management issues, but it's a framework that encourages character development from within the students rather than exerting control from the top down. They'll be able to take this framing through their whole educational career and beyond.

A fellow educator wrote on X, "Love this in so many ways! In these times, this answers 'how can we help learners understand the principles of a democracy?'" Imagine if we all reflected more on our roles, routines, rights and responsibilities as citizens rather than just memorizing the laws we are obliged to follow. Perhaps Mr. Syrie's rethinking and reframing of the educational experience can help us all consider a new framing for our own lives as individuals and community members as well.

You can follow Monte Syrie on X and find his book, "better: A Teacher's Journey: Project 180 Book One," here.


This article originally appeared in August