Emily Shiffer

  • People share 14 words they first learned through Disney songs that expanded their vocabularies
    Disney songs help people expand their vocabularies. Photo credit: Wikipedia/Canva
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    People share 14 words they first learned through Disney songs that expanded their vocabularies

    “We used to be UTTERLY SPOILED with the level of internal rhyme and skillful poetics that went into kids’ songs.”

    Disney movies have been a part of the American childhood since the studio released its first feature-length animated film in 1937, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Ever since, Disney films have been known for their catchy, clever songs.

    On Reddit, logophiles and Disney fans shared advanced vocabulary words they first learned after hearing them in Disney songs.

    “Wow we used to be UTTERLY SPOILED with the level of internal rhyme and skillful poetics that went into kid’s songs,” one person wrote.

    These are 14 vocabulary words people learned as kids from Disney songs that have stuck with them to this day:

    Genuflect

    Definition: “To bend the knee; to touch the knee to the floor or ground especially in worship; to be humbly obedient or respectful.”
    Movie: Aladdin
    Song: “Prince Ali”
    Lyrics:
    “Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa
    Genuflect, show some respect
    Down on one knee”

    Meticulous

    Definition: “Very careful about doing something in an extremely accurate and exact way; showing or requiring extreme care and attention to detail.”
    Movie:
    Lion King
    Song:
    “Be Prepared”
    Lyrics:
    “So prepare for the coup of the century
    Be prepared for the murkiest scam (Ooh, la, la, la!)
    Meticulous planning (We’ll have food!)
    Tenacity spanning (Lots of food!)
    Decades of denial (We repeat!)”

    Mediocrity

    Definition: “Mediocre, of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance; ordinary, so-so.”
    Movie:
    The Sword in the Stone
    Song:
    “That’s What Makes the World Go Round”
    Lyrics:
    “You must set your sights upon the heights
    Don’t be a mediocrity
    Don’t just wait and trust to fate
    And say, that’s how it’s meant to be”

    Expectorating

    Definition: “To eject from the throat or lungs by coughing or hawking and spitting.”
    Movie:
    Beauty and the Beast
    Song:
    “Gaston”
    Lyrics:
    “No one hits like Gaston
    Matches wits like Gaston
    In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston
    I’m especially good at expectorating
    Ten points for Gaston!”

    Prattle

    Definition: “Trifling or empty talk; a sound that is meaningless, repetitive, and suggestive of the chatter of children.”
    Movie:
    The Little Mermaid
    Song:
    “Poor Unfortunate Souls”
    Lyrics:
    “The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
    They think a girl who gossips is a bore
    Yes, on land it’s much preferred
    For ladies not to say a word
    And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?”

    Dote

    Definition: “To be lavish or excessive in one’s attention, fondness, or affection —usually used with on.”
    Movie:
    The Little Mermaid
    Song:
    “Poor Unfortunate Souls”
    Lyrics:
    “Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
    True gentlemen avoid it when they can
    But they dote and swoon and fawn
    On a lady who’s withdrawn
    It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man”

    Cabaret

    Definition: “A restaurant serving liquor and providing entertainment (as by singers or dancers).”
    Movie:
    Beauty and the Beast
    Song:
    “Be Our Guest”
    Lyrics:
    “We’ll prepare and serve with flair
    A culinary cabaret
    You’re alone
    And you’re scared
    But the banquet’s all prepared”

    Pachyderms

    Definition: “Any of various nonruminant mammals (such as an elephant, a rhinoceros, or a hippopotamus) of a former group (Pachydermata) that have hooves or nails resembling hooves and usually thick skin.”
    Movie:
    Dumbo
    Song:
    “Pink Elephants on Parade”
    Lyrics:
    “I can stand the sight of worms
    And look at microscopic germs
    But technicolor pachyderms
    Is really too much for me”

    Coup

    Definition: “A sudden decisive exercise of force in politics and especially the violent overthrow or alteration of an existing government by a small group.”
    Movie:
    The Lion King
    Song:
    “Be Prepared”
    Lyrics:
    “You won’t get a sniff without me!
    So prepare for the coup of the century
    Be prepared for the murkiest scam (Ooh, la, la, la!)”

    Qualm

    Definition: “A feeling of uneasiness about a point especially of conscience or propriety; a sudden feeling of usually disturbing emotion (such as doubt or fear).”
    Movie:
    The Hunchback of Notre Dame
    Song
    : “The Bells of Notre Dame”
    Lyrics:
    “You can lie to yourself and your minions
    You can claim that you haven’t a qualm
    But you never can run from
    Nor hide what you’ve done from the eyes
    The very eyes of Notre Dame”

    Reprimand

    Definition: “A severe or formal reproof; criticism for a fault; rebuke.”
    Movie:
    The Little Mermaid
    Song
    : “Part of Your World”
    Lyrics:
    “Bet’cha on land they understand
    Bet they don’t reprimand their daughters
    Bright young women, sick of swimmin’
    Ready to stand”

    Precocious

    Definition: “Exhibiting mature qualities at an unusually early age; exceptionally early in development or occurrence.”
    Movie:
    Mary Poppins 
    Song
    : “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”
    Lyrics:
    “It’s supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
    Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
    If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

    Nabob

    Definition: “A provincial governor of the Mogul empire in India; a person of great wealth or prominence.”
    Movie:
    Aladdin
    Song
    : “Friend Like Me”
    Lyrics:
    “Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
    I’m on the job, you big nabob

    Nom de plume

    Definition: “A name that a writer uses instead of their legal name; pseudonym; pen name.”
    Movie:
    Aladdin
    Song
    : “One Jump Ahead”
    Lyrics:
    “One jump ahead of the slowpokes
    One skip ahead of my doom
    Next time gonna use a nom de plume

  • Fourth grade teacher beautifully explains what grief is to her students using a vase
    Fourth grade teacher Miss Ryan Brazil explains what grief is to her students using a vase.Photo credit: Images courtesy of Instagram/@miss.brazil_28 (used with permission)

    Grief is a universal experience that touches everyone—from kids to adults. And for fourth grade teacher Ryan Brazil, she used her own recent loss to help educate and open up to her students about grief.

    In a touching video, Brazil tenderly explained what grief is to her students after they finished reading A Kids Book About Grief by Brennan C. Wood. She tells her class, “More than half our class is in tears and is being vulnerable and brave and sharing stories of their own grief.”

    She then pulls out an empty vase that she explains represents her “brain and her heart,” before adding: “I normally have more space for patience, focus, and calm. I showed them how little things that happen during the day like noise, questions, mistakes are like colorful pom poms filling up the vase. Normally, there’s plenty of space to handle those things.”

    However, due to grief, she added that she has less space—and put a crumpled up piece of black construction paper in the vase to demonstrate the space grief can occupy in a person’s heart and mind. “It can make you more tired, less patient, and quicker to feel overwhelmed. I wanted my students to understand that if I seemed off lately, it wasn’t about them. It’s just my brain and heart are doing a lot of extra work right now,” she added in the video caption. “It turned into one of the most healing moments I’ve ever had in my classroom.”

    Brazil tells Upworthy that the lesson deeply impacted not just her students, but herself. “My sister passed away recently and very unexpectedly, so I’ve been having a difficult time. I was feeling overwhelmed and in pain, and I needed a way to discuss what was happening in my brain and my heart,” Brazil says.

    So, she decided to share with her students rather than hide. “Discussing grief with my students changed something in our classroom. So many kids opened up about their own losses,” she says. “Some were more recent and some were before they were born, but they were still hurt by them. There was this release of emotions that felt like they were probably holding on to those feelings for a long time. We really rallied around each other and were there for each other. It was really helpful for me, personally. I felt understood in that moment and part of a community.”

    She hopes that her video will encourage others (including educators) to open up to students. “I am not an expert (on most things, honestly), but I don’t think that’s what kids need,” she adds. “They don’t need us to be perfect, they just need us to give them space to feel and understand that feelings are welcome. We all learned that grief isn’t something to hide. It’s something we can learn to hold onto together.”

    Expert tips for how to teach kids about grief

    Looking for more ways to explain what grief is to your kids? These are five tips from grief experts to help.

    Name the feelings, not just the loss

    “Kids often mirror our emotions but don’t always have the words for them. Instead of avoiding words like sad or angry, model using them out loud: ‘I’m feeling sad today because I miss Grandpa’,” Angie Hanson, a certified grief coach, educator, and author of Chapters of a Resilient Heart, tells Upworthy. “This helps kids name and normalize their own emotions. Grief becomes less scary when it’s spoken about openly.”

    Tip #2: Use simple, honest language

    “It is commonplace to use words like ‘passed away’ or ‘lost’ when talking about death, but these words can be confusing and add to misconceptions and anxiety for young children,” Jessica Correnti, MS, Certified Child Life Specialist at Kids Grief Support and author of The ABCs of Grief, tells Upworthy. “It is recommended to use concrete, factual words like ‘death,’ ‘died,’ and ‘dying’ even though these may feel blunt or difficult to say. Grief is a small word, but a very confusing and layered experience.”

    Create a “heart space” ritual

    “Like the vase activity, give grief a visual home. Create a small jar or box called a heart space,” says Hanson. “When they miss someone, they can place drawings, notes, or keepsakes inside. This teaches them that love doesn’t disappear, it changes form, and it’s okay to keep that connection.”

    Keep grief in the conversation, not just the moment

    “Children revisit grief as they grow. Keep their loved one’s memory woven into everyday life,” says Hanson. “Bake their favorite cookies, tell stories, or say, ‘I wonder what Grandma would think of this.’ It shows that grief isn’t a one-time event but an ongoing expression of love and remembrance.”

    Recognize that you may be grieving too

    “It is important for adults to have trusted spaces and people to confide in about their grief reactions so they can be present and available for their child(ren),” Dr. Micki Bruns, Ph.D., a childhood bereavement experts and CEO of Judi’s House/JAG Institute, a childhood bereavement center in Denver, Colorado, tells Upworthy. “At the same time, adults should normalize grief reactions and model healthy coping.”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Boomer grandma challenges family norms by asking why she has to do the traveling for visits
    An older woman holding a suitcase.Photo credit: via Canva/Photos
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    Boomer grandma challenges family norms by asking why she has to do the traveling for visits

    “Should grandmas be the ones on the road, or should families pick everything up and drive to her?”

    When the holidays roll around, it’s time for families to decide where they will meet to celebrate. For the most part, parents with younger kids dread packing their bags and traveling to a family member’s house where things aren’t set up for young children. You fumble around setting up the pack ‘n plays, can’t find your bottle brush, and freak out because the electrical sockets aren’t child-proof.

    However, many grandparents aren’t keen on enduring the mental and physical strain of traveling at an older age. So, who’s right? Grandma Jan, founder of Grandma Camp and a TikTok influencer who shares fun ideas for grandparents and grandkids, argued that parents should pack up their kids and visit Grandma.

    @grandmacampplanner

    Is it Grandma’s job to travel to the kids, or should the family come to her? 👀 Let’s hear it—#GrandmaCamp #FamilyDebate #momsoftiktok #GrandmaLife #HolidayTravel

    ♬ original sound – GrandmaCamp™ 💜by Grandma Jan™

    “Okay, so, here’s the debate: families say, ‘Grandma, why don’t you come visit us?’ But let’s be honest, Grandma’s house is where the traditions are, the cookies are, and all of the toys are,” Grandma Jan begins. “But if grandma is driving, flying, hauling all the gifts, and packing up her car to come see you, maybe it’s time to flip the script. When did it become normal for Grandma to pack up all her stuff and come see you? Should the kids pile into the car, bring all their toys, and just go visit grandma? Bring all that love and chaos to her?”

    So she asked her followers: “Should grandmas be the one on the road or should families pick everything up and drive to her?” Just about everyone in the comments said that grandparents should have to travel to see their grandchildren.

    “Nope. I want Christmas morning in pajamas with my family. I want my traditions. My parents and in-laws (the grandparents) got all of this how they wanted. It’s my turn now,” Maggie wrote. “Gramma is retired and now has a shit ton of time. Kids and parents have a very finite amount of time off in the holidays that they do not want to spend on the road,” Mrs. Wright added.

    Some grandparents also checked in to disagree with Grandma Jan. “Why would I put that on my kids and grandkids? It’s so hard traveling with kids, not to mention expensive to fly for more than one person,” Populustultus wrote. “What a weird way to think about that. Why wouldn’t you help your kids create magic in their home? Signed a grandma,” LifestylebyKat added.

    @grandmacampplanner

    Disclaimer: My last post was meant to spark conversation, not advice. It came from what I witnessed as an OT — older grandmas struggling to travel alone. Every family is different ❤️ #GrandmaCampByGrandmaJan #FamilyDecisions #GrandmaLife #OTperspective #momsoftiktok

    ♬ original sound – GrandmaCamp™ 💜by Grandma Jan™

    The response inspired Grandma Jan to release a follow-up video clarifying her opinion. She admits she came up with the idea after seeing older people having a hard time getting through the airport. “[I saw] older grandparents struggling their way through airports carrying their own heavy bags while managing a walker or a plane or a wheelchair, struggling through all on their own with no one to assist,” Grandma Jan said. “And as an occupational therapist, that actually broke my heart. For younger, healthier grandparents, travel can be fun, but for the older generation, it can be quite a struggle.”

    Ultimately, Grandma Jan didn’t intend to put anyone out; she just wanted to have a conversation about what’s best for families as a whole. “And Grandma Camp by Grandma Jan is about having those conversations, not making rules. And at the end of the day, it’s about connection, not distance,” she concluded her video.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • People amazed by woman’s tender dedication to her 48-year-old husband with dementia
    A woman cuts tomatoes while a man looks on.Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    People amazed by woman’s tender dedication to her 48-year-old husband with dementia

    He no longer remembers his wife so she does it for both of them

    LaShonda Adams, who runs the TikTok page “I Am Chronicles of Mrs. Adams,” found herself becoming the primary caregiver for her husband after a medical emergency nearly caused her to lose him.

    When a young couple says their wedding vows, they’re not thinking much about the “sickness” part. Typically in that moment, both parties are presumably healthy and an illness changing things feels like a distant possibility, not an inevitability.

    Adams recently uploaded a video of herself explaining to her 48-year-old husband how he knows her. He appears confused, and Adams soon reveals why.

    dementia; caregiver; early onset dementia; loving wife; calming voice; faith in humanity
    A couple looks at a shopping list. Photo credit: Canva

    “What you’re going through is called sundowning,” Adams says gently to her husband. “It’s where you go through this space where you don’t understand, and then you get in this very confused state where you don’t understand what’s going on or where you are, or who’s around you.”

    Forty-eight is young for a dementia diagnosis, but after a massive heart attack, he received life-changing news. He was without oxygen to his brain for more than 20 minutes. This form of dementia is typically not associated with the elderly. The once-vibrant man is experiencing vascular dementia.

    According to the Alzheimer’s Association, “Vascular dementia is a decline in thinking skills caused by conditions that block or reduce blood flow to various regions of the brain, depriving them of oxygen and nutrients.”

    The diagnosis appears to have occurred within the past two years, based on older videos. She displays a lot of patience and grace, which is melting the hearts of viewers.

    “I’m your wife. Those are your kids, and you’re at home,” Adams says calmly. “You had a heart attack, baby, and you lost oxygen to the brain. When you lost oxygen to the brain, it made you lose your memory of 24 years, okay? So sometimes you remember me, sometimes you don’t. You’re having a moment. You’re going to be alright.”

    He then asks her name, and she quietly responds. After clarifying that he no longer works, his wife explains that he’s off right now due to his disability. “This is the first time I’m hearing anything,” he says. “I’ve been here all day. Nobody said nothing.”

    @iamchroniclesofmrsadams

    Trying to keep my husband calm while he experiences Sundowner Syndrome#lifenlovewithdementia

    ♬ original sound – iamchroniclesofmrsadams

    Adams reassures him that she reminds him daily, but he insists this is his first time waking up in someone else’s house. She responds with patience:

    “Well, I’m here. I’m your wife, and I love you. I’m going to take care of you and make sure that you get cared for, okay? Alright? And any questions you have, or anything you want to know, I’m here to answer. Alright? We have pictures, we have memories that I can show you to kind of help.”

    @iamchroniclesofmrsadams

    The Day I became Mrs.Adams The day I vowed to love for better ,for worse ,for rich ,for poor, in sickness and health ,to cherish and love til death do us part ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    ♬ Only You X Playdate – 𝖈𝖆𝖊𝖗⛧

    Mr. Adams doesn’t remember anything past the age of 24 at any given moment, but it appears his memory is most impaired when the sun starts going down. Some viewers have compared it to the movie 50 First Dates, in which Drew Barrymore plays the love interest of Adam Sandler, who eventually realizes she has amnesia.

    One person writes, “50 First Dates in real life.”

    Another praises the wife’s care, saying, “Dementia nurse here. You’re doing amazing!!!!”

    dementia; caregiver; early onset dementia; loving wife; calming voice; faith in humanity
    A couple celebrates with champagne. Photo credit: Canva

    For others, the heartwarming interaction hit close to home. One person shares, “I’m early stages of Cardiovascular Dementia and sometimes, I experience these moments and it’s scary. Your voice is very calm and you’re doing an awesome job caring for your husband. God Bless You.”

    One devoted daughter shares, “My Dad has dementia.. one day I helped him look for me until he said ‘there you are, pickle head. i was calling you!’ I cried myself to sleep that night after I put him to bed. You’re doing so great, Sis!! keep loving him the way you do. it keeps em grounded just a little longer at a time.”

    dementia; caregiver; early onset dementia; loving wife; calming voice; faith in humanity
    A couple embracing. Photo credit: Canva

    “Dementia will break your heart, over and over again,” someone else says. “Your strength gives him peace. I hear it, I see it. He feels it.”

    Another professional praises her approach, writing, “Memory Care Director here. While I absolutely think this is so unfair for him to go through this as such a young age. Dementia is the absolute worst. You are doing such an amazing job. The calm voice is needed, especially at sundowners time. Stay so strong.”

  • We asked people what social rule they’d enforce during flights. One sweet answer dominated.
    Following certain "rules" can make flying a lot better for everyone involved.Photo credit: Canva

    Flying on airplanes with dozens of perfect strangers is, in many ways, a social experiment. We’re forced to sit in seats that aren’t big enough for most of us, uncomfortably close to people we don’t know (some of whom are stressed out or anxious), with unclear social etiquette rules we haven’t all collectively agreed upon.

    And yet we do it because the miracle of human flight enabling us to travel in hours to places that used to take days, weeks, or even longer, is too awesome to pass up. Most of us have things we’d prefer our fellow passengers do or not do to make the experience better for everyone, however, so we asked our Upworthy Facebook audience, “If you could enforce one social rule during flights, what would it be?” The responses were largely what you might expect and you can see them below, but there was one unexpected comment that stood out. The rule that received the most love, with over 1,200 likes, was this one:

    dog, flying, airplane, good dog, golden retriever
    Can we please get a Photo credit: Canva

    Any dog on the plane has to visit every passenger that requests

    While not everyone loves dogs, most people do. And what would make a flight more enjoyable than getting to meet a dog on board? Perhaps we can start a petition to make cabin doggy visits for anyone who wants them an official thing…

    Other responses were helpful reminders of both common courtesy and somewhat standard airplane etiquette for those who might not fly often enough to be familiar with it. In addition to the “meet the dog” rule, here are 10 more social rules people wish they could enforce on flights:

    Be nice to flight attendants

    Imagine being responsible for both the comfort and safety of 100+ people from different places with different needs in a cabin hurtling through the sky 30,000 feet above the Earth. Flight attendants deal with a wide array of people day in and day out, and we should all make sure we treat them with the kindness and respect that they deserve.

    Middle seat gets the armrests

    Nobody should be hogging the armrests, but if anyone has a right to them, it’s the sacrificial soul who has to sit in the middle seat. (And window seat controls the window, in case that’s not common sense.)

    headphones, flight, courtesy, airplane etiquette, flying

    No matter your age, headphones to listen to things on a flight are a must. Photo credit: Canva

    Headphones, please

    No one wants to listen to your video but you. Imagine if everyone listened to movies or YouTube videos or whatever without headphones—total social chaos. In public and on planes, use headphones to listen or watch something.

    No ‘manspreading’

    We all know the legroom on flights has become practically non-existent, and for people with long legs it can be hard to not bang your knees up against the seat in front of you. But spreading your legs apart so wide that it infringes on other people’s leg space just isn’t cool. We’re all in the same boat, so we have to respect one another’s space.

    Keep your shoes and socks on

    There may be an exception here for long-haul flights as long as you keep your socks on and don’t have stinky feet, but bringing a pair of slippers or something is still courteous. But definitely keep your socks on and be aware that you might not be able to tell if your own feet smell.

    flying, flights, airplane, overhead bin, flight etiquette

    One overhead bag per passenger until everyone’s got their luggage settled. Photo credit: Canva

    Don’t put a second bag or a jacket in the overhead bin until everyone has put their first bag in

    Overhead space is limited, so wait until everyone has had a chance to get their carry-on into that space before adding more than your one bag to it. Once everyone’s settled in, feel free to add whatever overflow you have.

    Try not to fart

    We’ve all been on a flight where someone let one rip and made everyone’s eyes water. Unless you have zero choice in the matter, refrain from dropping gas bombs on your fellow passengers. We’re all human and humans fart, but an airplane cabin is a tight spot where people can’t get away. At least take it to the lavatory if you can.

    Be aware of smells in general

    Come clean and fresh, but not perfumed. Deodorant? Yes, please. Strong cologne or perfume? No. Food that emits a strong odor? Also no.

    flight attendant, safety presentation, airplane safety, seatbelts, courtesy

    Even if you know it by heart, please don’t talk during the safety demonstration. Photo credit: Canva

    Stay quiet during the safety demonstration

    Some people fly all the time and could recite the safety demonstration spiel by heart, but that doesn’t mean everyone is familiar with it. It only takes a few minutes and first-time flyers need to hear it. It’s respectful to the flight attendants to not talk through their presentation and courteous to other passengers who need to listen.

    Remain seated until it’s your row’s turn to deplane

    On most flights, as soon as the plane arrives at the gate and the seatbelt sign is turned off, people rush to stand up and gather their luggage. But it’s always going to take several minutes to even start getting the first passengers off the plane, and it’s not going to go any faster to crowd into the aisle.

    If we all follow these “rules,” flying can be a more pleasant experience for everyone—even our good doggo friends who might be on board.

    This article originally appeared last year It has been updated.

  • American shares his 9 realizations about the U.S. after 13 years abroad and it’s eye-opening
    You learn a lot about your country when you leave it for a while.Photo credit: Image credit: Evan Edinger/YouTube
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    American shares his 9 realizations about the U.S. after 13 years abroad and it’s eye-opening

    “If you’ve never left, you can never understand what it’s really like…”

    Evan Edinger moved to London over 13 years ago to study abroad but never planned on staying overseas permanently. His goal was to get his degree, return to the United States, start his career, and make a life for himself. He thought of his time in London as a “temporary adventure.”

    But when he finished his degree, he found himself in an unexpected situation: He didn’t want to go back. “The longer I stayed in London,” Edinger shares on his YouTube channel, “the more I began to notice all of the assumptions that I’d grown up believing in America, the things I was brought up to believe were undeniably true and just the way the world worked—it turns out they weren’t true at all.”

    One of the benefits of living in another country is seeing your country of origin through different eyes. That perspective can cause you to appreciate some things and question other things. Edinger shares nine realizations he’s had about the U.S. since he left, starting with one of the most quintessentially American realities he found himself questioning.

    1. Guns

    Edinger grew up in New Jersey and describes it as “quite a blue state,” but he was still immersed in the gun culture that views gun ownership as a fundamental part of being an American.

    “I was raised in a very pro-gun household,” Edinger says. “In my family home in America, we had a 12-gauge shotgun, a 10-gauge, a black powder rifle, and a .410 shotgun for the children. My dad would take us out some days to shoot empty cans of beer or play pigeons or sometimes go hunting for pheasants or deer.”

    He says the notion of not owning a gun was unthinkable in his upbringing. “The idea that other countries do not allow guns is viewed more like these other countries are missing a fundamental right,” he says.

    His ideas about guns have changed dramatically since moving to London and living in a society without ubiquitous access to guns. “Visiting Philadelphia when I was younger was always scary to me because I never knew who had a gun, who wanted to rob me,” Edinger shares. “Visiting New Orleans a couple years ago, I was told by my hotel staff that a few days prior, a tourist was shot and died in the local Popeye’s Chicken because he caught a stray bullet of two people having an argument in the restaurant. So, that’s just something that people just have to deal with. This constant fear of I could just die being caught in a crossfire and there’s nothing I can really do about it because freedom. I’ve pretty much never felt that level of fear in London at all. And that alone was enough to sway my opinion on guns.”

    guns, gun culture, gun violence, united states, second amendment
    The U.S. has a unique gun culture. Photo credit: Canva

    2. Government

    “One thing that’s really drilled into you pretty much every year of American school is that American democracy is the end-all be-all of government and that it is the beacon of freedom other countries look to emulate. Then, once you become an adult and you see how dysfunctional the U.S. government is, you search for anything to feel better about it and usually settle on ‘Well, at least it’s not a third world dictatorship.’”

    But those aren’t the only two options. Edinger explains how the parliamentary system in the U.K. is far from perfect, but it tends to be more effective at actually getting things done because lawmakers aren’t constantly stymied by the inherently destructive two-party gridlock we have in the U.S.

    “It’s messy, yes, but after 13 years away, I’ve come to the belief that no system of government is perfect,” he says. “But most systems in Western Europe are far more effective than what I grew up believing was the ‘best in the world.’”

    3. Walkability and Public Transport

    In the U.S., having a car is practically a symbol of freedom, but Edinger says he’s never felt the need to have a car in his 13 years living in London. He says it’s been incredibly freeing to be able to walk and take public transit everywhere, and not just in the city. He’s been able to travel all over Europe, in larger cities and small towns, and the focus on walkable neighborhoods and public transportation is everywhere.

    walkable cities, public transportation, car dependency, london underground, subway

    It’s much easier to get around without a car in Europe. Photo credit: Canva

    “After having spent some time living in walkable neighborhoods, I would never ever choose to live in a car dependent place ever again,” Edinger says. “It is truly one of the most life-changing parts of living over here. And because I’m always walking everywhere, because I’m always cycling everywhere, it’s so much easier to be healthy and physically fit without even trying.”

    4. Food Quality and Price

    Europe has different regulations than the U.S., Edinger explains, with an approach that leads to a lot less additives and chemicals being added to foods.

    “Europe’s food agency focuses on possibilities and the U.S.’s focuses on probabilities. Is it possible an unnecessary additive could be harmful? Europe prohibits it just to be safe. The US agency, the FDA, they only step in if the probability of it being harmful is high. So, that risk is passed on to the average American consumer.”

    Edinger also points out that the ability to walk down to the store to get fresh ingredients regularly makes it a lot easier to eat well. “It’s one of those things where once you experience both, there is no contest. No contest. So, it’s much easier to be healthy in Europe than in America.”

    5. Healthcare in the U.S. vs. Europe

    “If my health does have issues, I am glad it’s not something that would ever bankrupt me or cause me to ever think about how much it would have to cost me just to be sick,” says Edinger.

    Americans often hear horror stories about socialized medicine, but Edinger’s experience with going to the doctor and even going to the hospital have been positive, and barely cost him anything.

    health, healthcare, universal healthcare, health insurance, cost of healthcare

    The U.S. is an outlier in the world when it comes to healthcare costs. Photo credit: Canva

    “There are only two types of people that are against the freeing social safety net that is universal healthcare,” says Edinger. “People that have never experienced socialized healthcare and people that profit from the broken system. That’s it.” Most Americans want it, but “most Americans” is not where the money is.

    6. Consumer Protections in the U.S. vs Europe

    Edinger shares that he bought a MacBook Pro in 2019 that didn’t work right, and he hadn’t purchased AppleCare because he knew he didn’t have to.

    “If you buy a tech product in Europe, you have a reasonable expectation that it should last you at least two years free of defects,” says Edinger. “And if it’s not up to your expectations or breaks down before then, you can demand a return or replacement. This law protects consumers from shady business practices.”

    He ended up getting his full money back on the computer due to those consumer protections.

    “It’s laws like this where you really begin to notice a pattern that life in Europe is one that gives more rights to the everyday person over giant corporations and shared benefit over private,” says Edinger.

    7. Worker Rights

    “A quick summary would be 28 days minimum paid holiday, one year paid maternity leave, two weeks paid paternity leave, sick leave, even the right against unlawful termination,” said Edinger. “When working part-time at Urban Outfitters in London, even though I worked less than 20 hours a week, I still got two days paid holiday per month. That’s insane, right? No, that’s just life over here. Meanwhile, I worked five years at a Pizza Hut in New Jersey for over 30 hours per week. Never got a single day of paid vacation.”

    Indeed, there’s more than a handful of European countries that guarantee at least a month of paid days off, with some countries actually requiring a certain number of days or weeks off.

    vacation, holiday, paid vacation days, paid time off, work life balance

    Europeans get far more generous paid leave than Americans do. Photo credit: Canva

    Edinger points out the irony that he was always taught that the U.S. was for the individual, for individual freedoms. But in his experience, in Europe individuals have more rights than those with money or power, while it’s the opposite in the U.S.

    8. Money (Live to work or work to live?)

    Edinger says that most things are more affordable in Europe, from groceries to data plans, but Americans do earn higher salaries.

    “So if you earn a lot of money and money is your sole defining metric of success, then you can feel a lot more successful in the U.S.,” he says. “But because the culture in Europe is work to live and not live to work, you might find that the stress and cost tradeoffs and quality of life erode the value of that higher salary quite quickly.”

    9. On Romanticizing Europe

    People often wonder if Americans romanticize Europe too much, and Edinger says the same question used to be asked of Europeans romanticizing America. But now that we have YouTube and social media and a better ability to see the realities of both places, he says what Americans “romanticize” about Europe is really just the things we want and don’t have.

    work-life balance, united states, working, european culture, worker rights

    Work-life balance is something a lot of Americans struggle with. Photo credit: Canva

    “I think most Americans who are eyeing up Europe are doing so because of the things that America is lacking. Nearly two in three Americans want universal healthcare. Well, America doesn’t offer that. Again, two in three Americans want European style vacation policies. America doesn’t offer that. And 53% of Americans would prefer to live in a walkable neighborhood, but sorry, America doesn’t offer that. The list goes on. If America were an actual democracy, I don’t think many of these people would be having romanticized views of Europe at all because they wouldn’t need to. They could have everything they wanted in the country they were born and raised.”

    Of course, every country has its problems and there are certainly downsides to moving abroad. Edinger acknowledges that but says it really boils down to what you value in life. Americans are taught to romanticize the U.S., and leaving it helps you see the reality, what’s good about your country and where it has room for improvement.

    “I think the main thing though out of everything that I miss about the U.S. that I can’t really get here is not rights, not freedoms, not anything that’s big on quality of life improvements,” says Edinger. “It’s just Mexican food and good ice cream.”

    You can follow Evan Edinger on YouTube for more on his experiences as an American living abroad.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Gen Xers and Boomers share ‘grimy’ parts of the 70s they were happy to leave behind
    Times Square in 1973 was pretty "sleazy." Photo credit: Dan McCoy/Wikimedia Commons

    When people talk about the world older generations grew up in, it’s often looked at through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. Life was simpler back then. We didn’t have all the trappings of technology or the burdens of busy modern life. Sure, we had to do more things manually, but the world was safer and cleaner and generally better back then, right?

    Not so fast. As some of the younger generations have noticed, the 1970s is often spoken about with nostalgic fondness but portrayed differently in entertainment. That observation led someone to ask Gen Xers and Boomers, “Were the 1970s really as grimy and gloomy and sleazy as the movies make it look?” Surprisingly, folks who lived through the ’70s took off their rose-colored glasses to remind us all of how far we’ve actually come in the past 50 years.

    While “grimy” and “gloomy” and “sleazy” may be strong terms, they’re not entirely inaccurate, according to the older folks who responded to the question. Of course, some places had more problems than others and big cities had it the worst, but some of the “grime” was widespread. Here are the truths behind the film portrayals:

    Smog in Los Angeles

    While L.A. still struggles with air quality, it has seen a vast, visible improvement since the days of thick, brown smog hovering over the city and people mistaking it for a gas attack.

    “I lived in Los Angeles as a kid, and it wasn’t unusual to have days we weren’t allowed to go outside at school because the smog was so bad it literally hurt to breathe.”

    “A old joke that probably doesn’t make sense nowadays: ‘What do you see in California when the smog lifts? UCLA.’”

    “We called them Smog alerts. We couldn’t go out for recess on those days.”

    “The mountains were mythical, growing up in L.A. On the occasional clear day you’d hear people saying, ‘Wait, those are there all the time?’ Thank goodness for better emissions control.”

    Air and water pollution in general

    The Environmental Protection Agency was begun under President Nixon in 1970, and it would take awhile for the new department to get established and policies to take hold.

    “Yes. 60’s and 70’s every major American city had days where there was really low visibility, distant landmarks obscured, brown, white, rusty, hazy cast and layers. Car, truck and bus exhaust pollution. In some areas, strong chemical and odors fr factories and animal processing plants. In the winter you could taste the sulfur in the air from some smaller city power stations burning coal. Flying into some cities was a descent from clean air into a dark brown layer of pollution.”

    “Bad enough that the EPA was born at that time; Woodsy Owl, the ‘Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute’ mascot was born; the Crying Indian commercial was first broadcast; the Clean Water Act was amended (originally from 1948 and called Federal Water Pollution Control Act).

    We lived near a refinery town in the 60s and 70s. Gawd, I had asthma and was constantly having to go to the hospital, to the point the doctors told my parents to keep me inside. Or course, them being smokers made it pretty much from the frying pan to the fire.

    The 70s were the years of introducing environmental awareness to a population that was coughing, hacking and used to brown air.”

    “That was when people finally said ‘Wait, you mean rivers aren’t supposed to catch fire when a train passes by and some sparks fly off the rail?’ and ‘What do you mean they’re actually supposed to have flowing water in them, instead of oozing sludge?’”

    Littering was commonplace

    It might be hard to imagine now, but it was totally normal in certain eras to just throw your trash out the window of your car or leave your bottles or cans wherever you finished them.

    “I think everyone kinda forgets how much trash there was. My generation grew up with the crying Indian and ‘give a hoot, don’t pollute.’ Before that, people really did just throw their trash out the car windows. There was a LOT more trash on the roads.”

    “We used to make a fair bit of money picking up aluminum cans, and smashing them to sell for scrap. Loads of them.”

    “It was quite common for people to throw trash out of their cars. beer bottles by the side of the road. In the late 1970s, Michigan voted in bottle deposits, and afterwards there was quite a difference in the roadside as you crossed the Ohio border in I-75. With the deposits, there was more incentive to pick them up, too, because each one was worth a dime. Didn’t take too many to pay for a $1 movie that had already been in the big theaters for a month or two.”

    “Recycling was pretty much non-existent. It seemed that people burned trash a lot more commonly, as well.”

    “There’s a scene in Mad Men where they have a picnic and Don casually pitches his beer can into the woods. It used to be like that.”

    Times Square was NSFW

    If people think Times Square is tacky now, with all of its flashy billboards, it’s a far cry from the “sleazy” strip it used to be.

    Times square, 42nd street and 7th ave, new york city, NYC, 1970s
    A photo near Times Squareu00a0from 1973. Dan McCoy/Wikimedia Commons

    “That Times Square scene in Taxi Driver was Cinema Verite, it was exactly like that.”

    “Yeah, I used to have to travel to New York in the late ‘70s. The sleaze factor around Times Square was significant.”

    “Times Square was full of porn theaters and you didn’t go to what is now the High Line neighborhood unless you wanted hookers and blow.”

    “First time I went to NYC as a kid in like 1994 I remember a ton of porn theaters. They must have cleaned them all up within a few years, because I never saw them again on later visits.”

    People smoked everywhere

    “Everyone smoked. Everyone and everywhere. I can’t believe we all don’t have lung cancer. Even us nonsmokers.”

    “Restaurants and Bars were smoky greasy and pretty grimy. It had to be a really nice place to smell fresh. The lighting was terrible. Most places had terrible air circulation. Everywhere reeked of cigarette, pipe and cigar smoke. Food odors. Old grease.”

    “Grimy? Yes. People smoked in their offices. After hours outside in the unemployment line, get to stand in line an oxygen free smoke filled enclosed sea of humanity with one bathroom to be insulted by cranky civil servants. Seems every building had cigarette and cigar tar wall and ceiling coatings.”

    Were there a lot of great things about the 1970s? Of course. There’s a lot that we can take from every decade that was positive, including the one we are living through now. But this reflection on the less-than-stellar elements of the ’70s and the big improvements we’ve made since then on all of these fronts should give us hope that we are capable of collectively moving in the right direction.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Social skills expert shares 3 ‘magic phrases’ that make you more likable
    Vanessa Van Edwards and people at a party. Photo credit: via Press Release and Canva/Photos

    A familiar misstep people make when trying to be likable is trying to impress others. They want to show they are funny, intelligent, and a great storyteller. They think being the life of the party is the road to likability. However, study after study shows that it’s a lot easier to be likable. All you have to do is show interest in others. To put it simply: If you like people, you will become more likable.

    There’s a slight wrinkle in the notion that liking more people makes you more likable. Many people you like aren’t sure that you like them. The psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias says it best. We tend to overestimate how clearly we broadcast our feelings and intentions towards others. So, the person we like and who likes us may not know the feeling is mutual.

    “We think our signals are obvious,” Vanessa Van Edwards told Steve Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast. “If we like someone or if we’re having a good time, we think, ‘Oh, they for sure know it.’ They don’t.” Van Edwards is a communications expert and the author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People.

    To help people clearly communicate their feelings, Van Edwards suggests three “magic phrases” to show you care. Check out the video below.

    Phrase 1: ‘I was just thinking of you’

    “You think of a lot of people in your life all the time,” she said. “If you are thinking of someone and you can text them: ‘I was just thinking of you, how are you?’ I was just thinking of you, how’d that project go?’ was just thinking of you. It has been a while since we talked.’ You see a movie, you see a documentary, you see a matcha latte, you see a mug, you see a ceramic candle, and you’re like, ‘Ah, this made me think of you,’” Van Edwards said. “My text messages, my conversations, are full of actual moments where I was triggered to think of that person, actually,” she said, noting the importance of being genuine. “If you don’t think of someone, they’re not a person you need to have in your life.”

    Phrase 2: ‘You’re always so …’

    “So if you’re with someone and you’re impressed by them or they’re interesting or they’re funny, say, ‘You always make me laugh. You’re always so interesting,’ or ‘You’re always so great in interviews.’ Giving them a label that is a positive label is the best gift you can give someone, because it’s fighting that signal amplification bias,” she continued.

    Phrase 3: ‘Last time we talked, you mentioned …’

    “We are so honored when we get brain space—that you remembered and you’re going to bring it up,” she said. “And you specifically bring up something that they lit up with, something they were like, ‘Ah, it was great, it was exciting, it was wonderful.’”

    If studies show the more you like other people, the more likable you become, Van Edwards has the next logical step in becoming more likable. She makes it clear that, due to signal amplification bias, many people you like may not even know it. When we employ her three ways to be more likeable, though, we can let people know we like them without making them feel uncomfortable, thus establishing bond to build on.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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