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Frugal people say these under $50 upgrades saved them more money than expected

These 35 small investments really paid off.

frugal, frugal living, saving money, money saving hacks, money saving tips
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Frugal people share the best $50 or less investments that have saved them exponentially more.

Sometimes you have to spend money to save money, and people who live a budget-conscious, frugal lifestyle have perfectly mastered how to do it.

In a Reddit post, member jul_on_ice posed the question: "What’s one small upgrade (under $50) that saved you more money than you expected?"

They continued, "Talking about small wins that compounded over time over one thing that made a drastic difference. Frugality is often about not spending but sometimes investments can pay off. Maybe something that made work easier. Made life better. Made you more comfortable. Or something bought once that replaced lots of things you once had to spend on."

Fellow frugal people had lots of money saving hacks to share. These are 35 things that frugal people spent less than $50 on that have saved them lots of money.

"Vacuum sealer. I’m single and most shopping/recipes are four or five meals for me. Often I would have food waste because I no longer wanted the food after the third meal. Now I cook, have the leftovers I want, and vacuum seal the rest in portions. Keeps the food fresh and saves room in my freezer." —mercfan3

"Don’t rent the modem/router combo from Comcast. Just buy your own." —Dove_of_Doves

"A couple of incredibly mundane purchases that I should have made years earlier: having extra sets of measuring spoons (~ $3 per set) makes cooking so much easier; a digital cooking thermometer (~ $15); and a tire inflator that plugs into the car's cigarette lighter ($35) so I can top up the tires at home, rather than trying to find a place with a working air hose. ETA: A french press ($20) and electric kettle ($25). Have used the same french press for more than a decade, and get better tasting coffee without buying filters or K-cups. An electric kettle is surprisingly useful." —Taggart3629

"$9 3-cup rice cooker." —CeleronHubbard

"Popsicle molds. I live in the desert and we eat so many popsicles. Making them myself has saved money and they’re healthier." —Adventurous-Fig-5179

"Dropped cable, kept internet only. Pay for separate Netflix and Disney and all total we save $35 a month over the cable bundle. We did not watch 90% of the channels included. Definite win for us." —GarudaMamie

"Adding an over-the-air antenna. Is a great addition to cutting that “cable tv” cord. It is much easier than you think." —williamtrose367

"We got a renter friendly bidet and it has saved us SO MUCH in toilet paper usage." —Specific_Wait_8006

"We went with cloth diapers when the kids were little it saved us a bunch and kept a bunch of garbage out of the landfill. Once they were potty trained we were able to sell a lot of them." —Responsible-Charge27

"Maybe not a quantifiable dollar amount of a change, but I switched my mindset from “Unitaskers are bad” to “Unitaskers are acceptable if they do the 1 thing better than anything else”. Example: Those plastic pulled pork meat claw things are not better than a fork for the task of shredding meat, but a good mandolin slicer is much faster and probably safer overall than a knife, and rice cookers can cook rice exceptionally well, even if that’s all they do." —Ryutso

"Needles and threads. You can fix anything material with small rips or tears. I’ve extended the life of clothes, bags, and kids stuffed animals by years." —baldbutthairy

"I know this sounds crazy, but realizing I could buy more than one of something (e.g. bath mats, reading glasses, chargers, etc.) I had to really work on changing my thinking around this due to past financial challenges." SomeTangerine1184

"Second hand slow cooker. Money saving meals made from cheap tinned foods: daal, chilli, casserole, soups." —Ambitious_Ad1844

"Anything like this is usually an inexpensive household repair that I waited too long to do. Replacing loose door handles, fixing a leaky faucet, repairing the drip line from my A/C. Little cheap things that just made my life... better." —gogomom

"My aeropress has been a ridiculously good investment. It’s much more portable than a french press. I have it with me now while I’m travelling and I can access a good cup of coffee using the hotel kettle." —mrjasong

"I am a freezie human and nowhere is that more apparent than on airplanes. So I had this 'warm fuzzy' vest for wearing on the plane with a tougher outer fabric and a soft fleecy inner. I paid a seamstress to add an invisible zipper to one of the seams on the inside of the vest and now the gap in between the fleece inner fabric and the tougher outer fabric is what in the 1920s would be called a 'passthrough pocket' or modern hunters might call it a 'game pocket'. But you know what else? It's now my personal item and I wear it on the plane, Scott-e-Vest style, but cheaper. And now because of that, I can fly more budget airlines because I have less luggage-as-in-bags." —heinfamousj

"The jury is still out, but I recently made the switch to rechargeable AA batteries. I'm optimistic this will save me money as I use AAs in my camera flashes and go through a lot of them. It's not a purchase, but rather a process that I think is going to help a lot. I put everything on my 2% cash back credit card and pay it off at the end of the month. Recently, to get a better handle on my daily spending, I decided on what my monthly credit card bill goal should be. Divide that number by 30 and I get my daily spending goal. I then created a spreadsheet and track how much I spend each day and have a column with a running total for over/under. It's motivating to look and see 'Hey, I'm $XXX under budget so far for the month.' The daily goal is high enough to account for things like gas in my truck, haircuts and groceries." —No_Blueberry_8454

"Yearly paper planner. No more missed rendez-vous or deadlines, no more late fees. I tried going digital, but it doesn't work for my ADHD brain. I just snooze the reminders and forget about it. Until it's too late. So I went back to paper, and it's worth the $12-ish per year to me." —Duck__Holliday

"Bought a dead battery Dyson vacuum on Facebook market. Did the Ryobi battery upgrade. Got cheap 8ah Ryobi battery off ebay. Got a cheap Ryobi battery Charger off facebook market. Total all was about $50-60 and it works great." —antsam9

"Dying my hair at my hairdresser rather than at home. No more stains from the home dye. No wrecked towels, clothing or hair." —JoyCrazy

"If you drink a lot of soda or sparkling water, a Soda Stream can help you save. Just the CO2 canisters comes out to about $0.11 for 12 ounces vs paying about $0.50 per can of store bought soda. What gets you are the syrups… that can bring the price up to $0.40 ish per 12 ounces. So to be extra frugal, you could make your own fruit syrups and skip the store-bought stuff. Make a simple syrup (one part sugar, one part water; boil on the stove) and add lemon or lime or orange juice or whatever… I’m sure there are recipes all over the internet. And boom, homemade La Croix. It’s an investment to start, but saves over time." —Drooly_Cat_1103

"Somewhat location dependent but if you are in a dry climate like me and rely on humidifiers running 24/7, buy a cheap water distiller on Amazon (I think mine was like $60 but close enough, you might even find one under 50 if you look/wait for a sale). Distilled water gets pricey, but not using distilled water will junk up your humidifier with minerals which is both a bitch to clean and can eventually cause problems with the function. Save yourself the trouble. Also useful for steam cleaners, mixing your own cleaning sprays from concentrates, misting bottles, etc. At least if you have hard water, anything where you are repeatedly putting a lot through a very small line, distilled is preferred to prevent mineral buildup." —ilanallama85

"I got a Walmart+ membership (got it for $49, it renews at half off the $99 at anniversary). I get free shipping, so when I need something small (like shampoo), I don't need to run to the store. I've used Walmart+ so much more than I ever used Amazon Prime. It costs less, and I find I buy less random crap with Walmart+ than Prime." —sbinjax

"Three inexpensive manual coffee makers: Bialetti Moka Express pot, Bodum French Press, and V60 pour over. Bought all 3, virtually new, at the thrift shop for under 20 total about 5 years ago. The Bialetti makes an espresso-like cup, the Bodum is rich and strong, and the V60 makes a softer, smoother cup of coffee." —zeitness

"Not sure this will ever meaningfully 'pay out' on the investment, but a timer switch for the bathroom fan. I have ADHD and benefit from as many "set it and forget it" items as I can possibly get. Now I can set the fan, have a shower, walk away, and it'll turn itself off after a decent airing-out, and I don't end up walking by the bathroom 4 hours later like 'how long has the fan been on??' Less electricity used, less wear and tear on the fan, less conditioned air lost. Is it more savings than the amount I spent? Probably not for a long time. But it feels better!" —Kitchen-Owl-7323

"A shutoff valve to go above the shower heads in my kids’ bathroom’s so I can limit the flow. We have high water pressure and my kids universally put the faucets at max flow. I used the valves to cut the flow in half. The water pressure is still great but now they use half the water and the hot water now lasts through all six of our showers. I haven’t calculated the savings but I know we are using much less energy in water heating and much less water." —nottherealme1220

"A $30.00 pair of very high quality sharp scissors bought at a sewing machine store 20 years ago freed me forever from paying for haircuts. One YouTube video showed me how to trim & maintain - done. My brother bought a clipper set for $20.00 at the same time and does his own cuts. All that money gets plunked into savings!" —VulcanGreeting

"i switched from some fancy expensive work boots id been wearing to some 18 dollar shoes with 10 dollar insoles i got at walmart. i added the extra insoles on top of the existing ones for extra comfort. this saved me however how much i would have spent for my foot pain that was nearing bad enough to warrant medical attention. these are seriously the most comfortable shoes i have ever owned, i even wear them outside of work, on hikes, just going out on a wet day. over a year in and the extra insoles might need replaced in a few months but the shoes and their original insoles (the ones on bottom) are holding up perfectly. I'm in a better mood at work now too." —cccameronnn


This article originally appeared in July

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Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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Pop Culture

James Van Der Beek's realization about his identity after cancer has people pondering

"I had to look my own mortality in the eye," said the Dawson's Creek alum. "I had to come nose to nose with death."

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Photo credits: SANSIERRASTUDIO (left) Super Festivals from Ft. Lauderdale, USA (right)

James Van Der Beek in 2010 and 2023

There's nothing like a brush with death to make you reflect on your life. It's so easy for all of us to get caught up in the day-to-day details of living and not take the time to ponder the deeper elements of existence, from the nature of the universe to the meaning of life to our own individual role in the big picture.

Existential questions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but actor James Van Der Beek shared a thoughtful 48th birthday message with his own life reflection after facing cancer, and it distills a lot of the angst of those questions into a simple yet profound answer that's hitting home with people.

Van Der Beek, who starred in the millennial favorite Dawson's Creek, announced he'd been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in 2024 at age 47. He and his wife, Kimberly, have six children, and in a video shared on social media, Van Der Beek shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to "the ultimate" identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.

"I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on," he said. "And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, 'Who am I? What am I?'"

"And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he continued. "I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working. I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them."

He found himself facing the question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?"

So often we define ourselves by our roles in life or by what we do, but what if those things change? Who are we when it's just us, alone, with nothing external to anchor us to a particular identity?

"And I meditated and the answer came through," Van Der Beek shared. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

I offer that to you however it sits in your consciousness. However it resonates, run with it," he said. "And if the word God trips you up, I certainly don't know or claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger or if it feels too religious you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."


Van Der Beek's sincere, warm delivery and universal message of love and worth hit home for a lot of people. Fellow celebrities and fans alike praised and thanked him for it:

"Happy birthday brother. This was absolutely beautiful 💜🙏🏻💜," wrote singer Chris Daughtry.

"You’re a gift to this earth and I’m grateful to know you even if it’s just through IG. Greatly admire the graceful way you share and happy you made it around the Sun again," wrote New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre.

The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrote, "That is it James. That is it. And you my friend are love. A steward of love. A teacher of love !❤️. We love you !!"

"I watched this with Bodhi with tears in our eyes and Bodhi said 'that was really touching' thanks for being love James and sharing that with everyone, ❤️" added actor Teresa Palmer.

Battlestar Galactica reboot's Katee Sackhoff wrote, "Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom ❤️ Amen!'

"You are such a special soul. You are pure love my friend," added actor Nikki Reed. "Worthy of it all… hoping to hug all of you soon. Happy birthday❤️❤️❤️"

Some people took issue with Van Der Beek saying people could remove the word "God" from the message if they wanted to, but the reality is that not everyone has positive feelings about God or religion, and some have even been deeply hurt by people weaponizing them. Van Der Beek making a message of love more universal so that everyone can take it in and benefit from it without barriers or hang-ups is part of what makes it so beautiful. He was able to express his own religious/spiritual experience without shying away from the terminology that was true for him, while also making sure that his message was accessible to everyone regardless of faith or belief.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Van Der Beek's sincere, open, and balanced approach as well.

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James Van Der Beek shared his hopes for the spring weeks before his death, and it's beautiful

Funny, clever, and profound in a way only Van Der Beek could pull off.

james van der beek, james van der beek death, james van der beek cancer, cancer, colorectal cancer, cancer treatment
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James Van Der Beek speaking at Galaxy Con.

James Van Der Beek, best known for his roles in Dawson's Creek and Varsity Blues, has died at the age of 48 after a journey with stage 3 colorectal cancer.

Since November of 2024, the actor has been open about some of the struggles he’s faced with the diagnosis, including having to sell off much of his iconic memorabilia to pay off his cancer treatment.

And yet, Van Der Beek still left the world on perhaps a grounded, somewhat hopeful note, as indicated by the undeniably profound message he made in an Instagram video, posted a mere few weeks before his death.

Using his signature down-to-earth, friendly sense of humor, Van Der Beek spoke directly to the camera as he asked the essential question: “Why are we celebrating a new year in the dead of winter? Why are we celebrating new beginnings at a time when nature rests?"

“Animals are hibernating, birds fly south for the winter,” he continued. “The time to celebrate new beginnings, and a new year, and a new you and a new resolution is spring at the vernal equinox, when the flowers bloom and it gets warmer and the birds return.”

He then quipped that the Gregorian calendar, which marks a new year in the winter, goes against nature, and therefore makes “absolutely no sense.”

“In the winter, the days are shorter and the nights are longer,” he wrote in his caption. “But instead of being reminded how perfect this season is for cocooning, eating stew, snuggling and sleeping… why are we being told this is the time to buy a gym membership?”

So, to anyone having trouble keeping to those New Year’s resolutions, Van Der Beek assured, “I don’t think it’s your fault” and offered a different solution: viewing spring as the start of the new year.

“I’m gonna say screw it,” he said. “I’m gonna take the winter to recover, to rest and I’m gonna make New Year’s resolutions in the spring. Who’s with me?”

Obviously, the video hits differently now…the optimism a little bittersweet. But it's nonetheless a huge testament to how he “met his final days with courage, faith, and grace,” as his wife Kimberly Van Der Beek wrote.

“There is much to share regarding his wishes, love for humanity and the sacredness of time,” she added.

It’s wisdom that still rings true. We can force ourselves to go against nature. Or we can follow in Van Der Beek’s footsteps and give ourselves the grace to let nature work through us, to trust in our inherent worthiness, and to take time to heal. This is just one of many wonderful contributions that he’s given to us all, and he will be deeply missed.

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How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence
via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

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Boomer grandparents often forget what it's like having young kids. Millennials call it 'gramnesia.'

"Gramnesia" combines the words "grandparent" and "amnesia".

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@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials coined the term "gramnesia" for Boomer grandparents who have forgotten what it's like raising kids.

Becoming a grandparent is the dream for many parents who've raised their children into adulthood. After all, there are few things sweeter than getting to spend time with grandkids.

But many Millennial parents have had many bones to pick with their Boomer parents about their grandparenting skills (or lack thereof). Recently, Millennials have been calling out Boomer grandparents for a number of questionable grandparenting behaviors: from excessive gift giving to completely disappearing.

And its led one Millennial mom to coin the term "gramnesia" when describing her Boomer parents as grandparents.

What is "gramnesia"?

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

@selahvictor

Millennial Moms have you experienced this?! I swear every time I ask my Mom about a parenting struggle, she's like "what are you talking about?" SHE HAS GRAMNESIA😂😂Disclaimer: my Mom had 8 kids, so maybe she just was way more of an expert than me😜Also if you made it to the end, this is probably why it was easier for that generation too (and why I'm a great sleeper!)😂 #boomers #millenialmom #millennial #boomermom #parentinghelp #momof8 #selahvictor #lamom #gramnesia

Examples of “gramnesia” statements

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid.”

“I potty trained you before you were one.”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

“*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”

gramnesia, boomer grandparent, boomer grandparents, grandkids, grandparenting Some Boomer grandparents are being called out for "gramnesia".Photo credit: Canva

Why "gramnesia" exists in the first place

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

How to confront Boomer parents about "gramnesia"

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Millennial shares the lies that every kid's parents told them in the '90s

"Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

1990s kids, 1990s parents, lies, '90s nostalgia, old wives tale, '90s kid
via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.

Children believe everything their parents tell them. So, when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the untruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own. In 2024, a man named Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” one commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” another added. After just four days of being posted, the video had been viewed upwards of 250,000 times.

@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, tattoo, jobs A woman gets a tattoo.Canva Photos

Eight more lies that parents told their kids in the '90s

Justin's video was also a hit on Reddit, where many commenters had heard the same lies growing up. However, there were a few more they remembered hearing as kids back in the day. Commenters added eight more items to his list of 10 things that parents lied to their kids about in the '90s. Here are some great ones Justin could use to create a follow-up video:

"When the ice cream man is playing music, that means he’s all sold out."

"You'll never make any money messing around with that computer."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, kids, parenting Boy playing on the computer.Canva Photos

"Dusty went to live on a farm."

"You'll go to jail if you take the mattress tag off."

"My in-laws told my husband (as a child) not to flip the light switch on and off because he would start a fire in the wall that would burn down the house."

"I was also always told that if I played with the campfire, I would wet the bed that night."

"Green potato chips are poisonous, and eating raw hot dogs gives you cancer."

"My mom told me I couldn’t put on the skin transfer tattoo that came with my chewing gum because the tattoo had drugs in it."

This post originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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