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Friends struggling with procrastination held a 'forcing party' and it's oh so brilliant

A little accompaniment and accountability can make all the difference.

Friends can help us when we're on the productivity struggle bus.

Some people have self-discipline and agency coming out their ears and rarely if ever procrastinate on anything. Others, not so much. Whether it's driven by habit, fear of success or failure, lack of motivation, ADHD, or something else that disrupts the flow from "I need to do this thing" to "I'm now doing this thing," procrastination is a challenge in many people's lives. You know what you need to do—why can't you just do it?

When you struggle to get things done, the cycle of self-loathing and shame that follows can make you feel worthless and alone. But some friends on X came up with a simply brilliant solution that not only solves the procrastination problem, but the feeling alone problem as well.

 
 

A user named Tyler wrote, "Sometimes you need a coach or therapist, and sometimes you just need someone to invade your life and force [you] to book the dr's appointment, finish the writing assignment, submit the job application, etc. Does this sort of person exist for hire?"

Lots of people resonated with that idea, but Tyler's friend Crystal responded, "Can we do it for each other?"

Tyler said Crystal would be good at this and said he was thinking of throwing "a force-on-another-to-do-stuff party."

And so they did.

 
 

The idea was to gather together a small group of friends who have things they need to get done and create a space where they could "force" one another to do them. Turns out, it was a brilliant plan. Crystal and Tyler both in the middle of their party, with Crystal saying it was "going well" and that they'd be doing more and Tyler sharing:

"So far:

- A passport has been filed for

- An inbox has been zero'd

- A personal website has been created

& more.

I recommend this format!"

 
 

People loved the idea, with many people asking if they could join. Tyler encouraged people to host their own. You don't have to have a bunch of friends to do it—it could literally just be two people. As long as whoever is there is on board with what it is, the number of people doesn't matter.

And if the idea of "forcing" rubs you the wrong way, what you call the gathering doesn't matter, either. One person suggested some alternative names, such as Git 'er Done Party, Just Do It Party, and Not So Bad Party. You could call it a Procrastinator Party or Motivation Madness. A similar idea has been called Admin Night, only that is specifically referred to as "not a party." But why can't it be both? Give the invite a tagline, even: Get stuff done, then have fun.

 
 

The concept of accompaniment to do things you don't want to or are struggling to do is an ADHD strategy known as "body doubling." Having someone in the same room with you doing something productive, even if it isn't the same thing you're doing, is often enough to get a person with ADHD to focus on the task they need to complete. The Forcing Party is a similar idea, perhaps with a bit more direct accountability built into it. It's a lot harder to put off doing something when you're at a party dedicated to doing exactly that thing.

 

If you're saying, "But why should I have to have a 'forcing party' just to get myself to do things that aren't even that difficult to do?" and feeling down on yourself for it, just stop for a sec. Humans aren't meant to do everything in isolation. We are social creatures who live in communities of people. Even those of us who like to be alone still benefit in various ways from the assistance and accompaniment of others, and if this is an area where being with your fellow humans helps you be the productive person you want to be, why question it?

Keep it simple. Contact a few friends and see if they have things they've been putting off doing that you could all do side-by-side one evening or weekend day. Call it whatever kind of party you want. See what they say. Chances are, they all have something they've been procrastinating on as well and would welcome the opportunity to get together and get it done.

Thanks for the inspiration, Tyler and Crystal!

Joy

Woman makes a show out of timing how long it actually takes to do tasks she puts off doing

She's being hailed the "more relatable, Marie Kondo" for how she inspires people to tackle their own put off tasks.

@christinewrutzen/TikTok

Not all heroes wear capes.

We can all be guilty of convincing ourselves that certain tasks will take wayyyyyyy longer than they actually do. Those mountainous piles of clothes that need to be folded (or is it washed? who can tell anymore), the fridge that desperately needs old condiments thrown out, removing whatever entity is behind that couch…

No matter what chore we’re procrastinating on, odds are we are making it way more herculean than it actually is. And now, thanks to one brave—and very entertaining—soul, we have definitive proof.

In her super-viral TikTok series titled “How Long Does It Actually Take,” fellow procrastinator Christi Newrutzen dons a pair of sunglasses, comfy clothes, and a newscaster-worthy microphone as she times herself doing dull tasks she’s put off…some upwards of a couple of years.

It’s really the perfect combo of charming deadpan delivery, relatability, and eye-opening discoveries that make these videos so impactful. In the clip below, Newrutzen puts away two loads of laundry, which she had been putting off for 11 days.

Armed with her laptop (because she always has to watch something while doing laundry) Newrutzen managed to do it all in just 28 minutes.

 
 @christinewrutzen I dont know if it looks like it but it was in fact 2 loads of laundry 😂 and I always have to be watching something while I put away laundry otherwise it's like a death sentence 🥲 #cleantok #laundry #homeimprovement #clothes #adhd #executivedysfunction #organization ♬ Boss Bitch - Doja Cat 
 
 

In another video, Newrutzen finally schedules a dentist appointment. After three years of avoiding it, the whole thing only took nine minutes.

 
 @christinewrutzen i dont know why this took me soooooooo long to do, but MAN do I feel so much better now, please don't judge me, this was hard 🥲 #procrastination #dentist #appointment #cleantok #organization #adhd #executivedysfunction #homeimprovement ♬ original sound - Christi Newrutzen 
 
 

Newrutzen also handles bigger tasks, like organizing the garage. This did end up taking a little over an hour. But considering the shelves have apparently “never not looked like this,” it’s still safe to assume this was undeniably less taxing than she assumed it would be.

 
 @christinewrutzen This one took me out, I was really not feeling it by the end 😩 ill have to take out all that stuff to the dumpster later 😅 #cleantok #cleaning #organizing #garage #procrastination ♬ two - bbno$ 
 
 

Newrutzen’s longest task to date seems to be repainting a chest of drawers she bought discounted in hopes of refurbishing. It was a project she started two years ago, and hadn’t touched since. This technically took her 23 hours, including waiting for paint to dry and whatnot. But the actual time spent working on said project was an hour and four minutes.

If this is inspiring you to finally conquer your own ever ending to-do list, you’re not alone. So many people shared how Newrutzen’s videos gave them the gumption to tackle their chores. Lo and behold, they made the same discoveries she did!

“I timed how long it took me to match the freaking socks last night,” one viewer wrote. “Because of you, I found out it only takes me 15 minutes!! I swore it was an hour long deal.”

“I’ve been staring at a mess in my hallway for about a week now trying to get myself to clean it up and because of your video I did it this morning and it took a total of 42 seconds,” another shared. “42 seconds!!!!!!”

Others just chimed in to praise Newrutzen for her contribution.

“You are the new, more relatable, Marie Kondo,” one person gushed.

“You're gently and comically reminding us that the giant, foreboding thing in the corner that we've been dreading for months is not THAT bad if we just do it ✨ TYSM,” said another.

productivity, marie kondo, getting things done, to do list, chores, procrastination An assortment of stick notes on a car steering wheelImage via Canva

Newrutzen told Upworthy that the response to her series has equally inspired her to do more.

"It feels incredible to know my videos are having this kind of impact on people and also I am finally getting stuff done that I've needed to do for years," she said, adding that she continues surprising herself with how quickly she gets certain tasks done. Unloading the dishes, for example, took around 5 minutes. "Dishes are literally the bane of my existence but seeing it through that perspective has helped me a lot!"

Next time you find yourself putting off that thing (you know the one), remind yourself that it likely won’t take nearly as long as your brain tells you it will. Maybe even take a page from Newrutzen’s book and time yourself doing it to get that hard data. Because, even though perfection is impossible, having something so minuscule take over valuable brain space is just plain stressful…more stressful than actually doing the thing.

Community

Mom proudly watches autistic son bring down the house singing Ariana Grande karaoke on first cruise

"POV: you started off the cruise as a shy karaoke novice but by the end became a karaoke legend thanks to the best backup strangers ever."

Image via Canva

Young man with autism sings karaoke on his first cruise.

Anyone who's been on a cruise knows that there are endless activities you can participate in while at sea. And for 19-year-old Kevin (@raisingkevin_), a young man with autism and ADHD, there was one activity that he was absolutely drawn to while on his first Caribbean cruise–karaoke.

Kevin's mom and main caretaker Tola documented his first time on a cruise and the impact his joy and enthusiasm for singing on the mic had on everyone. Not only was he embraced by a group of total strangers, but he personally transformed from a timid performer to a 'karaoke legend' by the end of the voyage.

"POV: my son is 19 and has a diagnosis of autism & ADHD. Here he is on a Caribbean cruise in a room full of 'strangers' singing karaoke as off tune as possible without a care in the world," she wrote in the caption.

In the video, Kevin is holding a mic and passionately singing Ariana Grande's song "Dangerous Woman" to an entire room full of supportive people who are singing along with him, including his mom Tola. He doesn't waver once, and his mom added in the caption, "As a parent I used to focus on 'shielding' him in the name of 'protecting' him from the 'bad people in the world' but realized that in doing that I was also shielding him from all the 'good people' in the world too."


ariana grande, singer, gif, celebrity, song, karaoke Ariana Grande Wink GIF by The VoiceGiphy

In the comments, Tola shared how the kindness of strangers was the epitome of inclusion. "Kev has never met anyone in this video prior to this trip but here they are cheering him on like he their nephew! Inclusion at its finest! Hope this encourages other parents to be a lil less scared ❤️," she wrote.

Viewers were deeply impacted by Kevin's bravery and the support of strangers.

"I feel this--- I felt me shielding my son, was protecting, but if anything I was holding that bright light back because I see how weird their world is. But-- how can my sweet heart fly if I hold his wings. Thank you for this reminder❤️❤️❤️❤️."

"My lil neurodivergent heart is so full seeing him have a positive public group✨ moment ✨love that for Kev 💕."

In another video from the cruise, Kevin crushed Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" in front of another crowd. And in the comments, Tola shared more about Kevin's love for karaoke during the cruise and the community that supported him. "So [I] asked Kev what his favorite part of the cruise was and he said the karaoke. Shall we now call him karaoke Kev? 🤣 But really one of the best parts of our cruise was seeing Kev get more and more comfortable with singing some of his favorite tunes in front of strangers who became friends ❤️," she wrote.


Ed Sheeran, singer, snap, karaoke, cruiseEd Sheeran Television GIF by The VoiceGiphy

And viewers cannot get enough of his energy. "Kev really got his entire life on this cruise!! 😂" one wrote. Another commented, "I’m so glad he had a good time and opened up he’s a brave soul love ya Kevin and your mom is a wonderful woman for sharing 👏👏🔥❤️😍❤️👏👏👏."

via @5kids5catssomedogstoo/TikTok

Lynalice Bandy shares what her home looks like after working six 10-hour days and getting no help from her husband.

A viral TikTok video highlights an extreme version of inequality that many wives and mothers in heterosexual relationships face. However, the mom in this story hit her limit and won’t deal with it anymore. Lynalice Bandy, who goes by @5kids5catssomedogstoo on TikTok, posted a video that showed her home looking like a disaster after she worked six 10-hour days straight while her husband did nothing to help.

Her time-lapse video shows every room in the house completely trashed, with toys, food, and laundry scattered everywhere. "Shampoo on the carpets in the girls' room, nail polish all over nugget covers, hair, and carpet. Scissors were used to cut hair, the down comforter, the mattress cover, and two nugget covers," wrote the mom. “I’ve worked six, ten-hour days in a row with only one day off being a sick day,” she captioned the video. “I’d like to pretend I’m not the only person who cleans here, but as you can see…These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here."


@5kids2catsandsomechaos

#divorce #parentingfail #messyhouse #whenwomen #depressionanxiety #clean #satifying

She says her husband’s excuse was that he was focused on doing his schoolwork and couldn’t pay attention to the kids. "Now, that school is out for a break, he doesn't have that excuse anymore," Bandy says, noting that all of his attention has been focused on “the four vehicles in our driveway that he wants to work on continuously.”

In a follow-up video, Bandy announced that she left her husband after the debacle. The original video received over 17,000 comments, many of which were from supportive women. "You deserve much better, and he deserves to be alone. Much love to you from someone that left that life behind almost 20 yrs ago. You'll get here, too," Angela LaRoche wrote.

"Ma’am, you are nothing short of amazing! Hang in there!" Japanese with Jenny wrote. "That home is beautiful because of YOU," Hillary added. "You put in so much work, and it is not unseen by me and so many others. But, you DO deserve better. Proud of you."

@5kids2catsandsomechaos

Sounds about right…

Even though Bandy’s experience with her husband is an extreme case of a couple whose domestic duties are way out of balance, it points to a problem that plagues many households. Even though it’s 2023 and families are becoming more equal, women still do significantly more housework than men.

A study utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey found that women 15 years and older spend 5.7 hours daily doing housework and looking after kids and elders. Men in the same age group do an average of 3.6 hours of daily domestic work. That’s a 37% difference in time spent on household responsibilities.

 domestic duties, marriage inequality, lazy husbands, messy houses, household chores, upset woman, tired womanA woman who is upset that she has to do chores again.via Canva/Photos

Further, women who work an average of 35 hours a week spend 4.9 hours a day on household chores and child care, while men who work the same amount spend an average of 3.8 hours.

The comments show that many women are frustrated with their husbands for not doing their fair share. Hopefully, this video will encourage more people to speak out about domestic inequality and for more men to step up and do their part.

Nearly two years after Lynalice left her husband, she and her five children are living together in a new home. Her recent videos show that she's having difficulty keeping it clean because she's been working 60-plus hours a week and suffers from ADHD. Being the single mother of five has to be tough, so she has developed a new motto: "Progress, not perfection." In November 2024, she shared a video of her and her family getting things together in their new home.

@5kids2catsandsomechaos

Can you spot how many times Winky sits in a box or plops for belly rubs? #cleaning #messyhouse #clean #timelapse #oddlysatisfying #grwm #carpetcleaning #cattok

This article originally appeared two years ago.