Woman who went from a size 18 to a size 6 gets candid about her newfound 'skinny privilege'
"When I speak, people tend to listen more."
“Skinny privilege is a thing, and even I find myself taking advantage of it.”
There are many different types of social privilege. We most often talk about the privilege associated with class, race or sex, but the inherent advantages of being thin are certainly substantial as well.
Take a 3-second scroll through your social media platform of choice, and you’ll see the endless messages—both insidious and overt—that glorify thin and/or muscular bodies while shaming other body types. Having a body that is celebrated by society offers benefits like respectability, kindness and even better health care. That is thin privilege, aka skinny privilege, in a nutshell.
And if there’s any doubt as to whether or not this privilege exists, take it from those who have lost weight and were suddenly treated differently (read: better).Meg Stier, an actress and motivational speaker based in New York, is one of those people. Stier recently got candid about all the unexpected changes that came after she went from a size 18 to a size 6 in a video posted to her TikTok.
And while Stier noted that this was “not an attack on skinny people,” adding that they have their own problems too, her stance was clear that—at least in her own experience—skinny privilege definitely exists, and we need to talk about it.
@megmackenzies Anyone else experince these things? #bodyacceptance #nyc #bodypositivity #performer #lifestyle #weightloss ♬ original sound - Meg Mackenzies
The list included conveniences like being able to find her size in any store to being shown more basic human decency, like people looking her in the eye when they speak to her and actually listening when she speaks.
Even her career “took off” the moment she lost weight. “I didn’t suddenly become more talented, smarter or better at my job,” she said. “I just looked different.”
In fact, Stier can now make the same lifestyle choices she made when she was larger without outside judgment, simply because she looks different.
“Nobody judges when I order a cheeseburger or a salad. I can literally eat whatever I want in public, and nobody thinks twice about it” she revealed. She can also go to the gym without people giving her sympathetic looks.
“People considered me unmotivated, unhealthy, and in general just lazy because I was bigger. Those are three words that no one would use to describe me now, and my lifestyle really hasn't changed that much," she said.
“There’s a serious bias against fat people, and unless you’ve lived on both sides of the spectrum it’s hard to fully grasp what that means,” she concluded. “Skinny privilege is a thing, and even I find myself taking advantage of it.”
Stier is not alone in her experience. Her video received a ton of comments from other people who had lost weight and were treated better because of it. Some even shared the congratulations they got after losing weight due to illness.
Not only that, but there are literally thousands of videos on TikTok under the hashtags #skinnyprivilege and #thinprivilege reflecting similar stories, all attesting that it is in fact a real thing. Many even reflected on what it was like to gain some weight back and return to being “invisible.”
@itsmekelsc Today I chose the sassy life 💁🏼♀️ but it had to be said. The difference in treatment from strangers is WILD #weightbias #obesitybias #skinnyprivledge #obesity #weightloss #weightlossjourney #pcos #pcosawareness #mounjaro #ozempic ♬ original sound - Kelsey ✨
As with all forms of societal privilege, addressing the issue starts with spreading awareness. Social media might add to the problem with the way it often sells the idea of thinness and beauty as status enhancers, but it can also be a great tool in ending stigma as well. Conservations like the one Stier and others are having helps us take a closer look at our own beliefs and hopefully challenge them.
We’ve already seen the ways challenging the status quo can create actual change. The exploitative nature of capitalism aside, think about all the brands that have adapted to a more diverse, inclusive beauty standard due to real people taking a stand. Think of how much more body neutrality is a part of our collective mindset than it was only a few short years ago. Clearly, we still have ways to go, but part of progress is getting real with what’s in front of us.
Our mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by 
You can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by 
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.