upworthy

money

Education

Finance expert deftly points out the double standard between men's and women's hobbies

Maybe manicures and lattes aren't that "silly" after all.

Photo credit: Canva

Are women's manicures the new avocado toast?

We’ve all heard millennial money woes get blamed on “frivolous” purchases like avocado toast, which is, as we know, both laughable and maddening. But just ask financial expert Tori Dunlap, and there are other "double standards” regarding spending habits that are just as frustrating…one prime example being the way we view women’s hobbies versus men’s hobbies.

“I did all this research for my bookFinancial Feministabout the way women spend money versus men, and the frivolous spending, the spending that is the reason you can’t get rich or the reason you can’t get ahead, is only feminine spending,” Dunlap noted in a video posted to her TikTok.

As for “women’s hobbies,” Dunlap listed lattes, manicures, and shopping. Granted, these activities can add up (especially with the price of coffee these days) but often they are shared experiences with friends, or a form of self care (few things are as empowering as a fresh set of nails, after all). So there’s an added mental health benefit.

And yet, it’s these purchases that are “the reason women aren’t rich.” Meanwhile, hobbies traditionally seen as masculine, like NFL season tickets, sports betting, golf and video games, obviously warrant a far heftier price tag, and yet are seen as much more acceptable pastimes.

@herfirst100k 🤯
♬ original sound - Tori Dunlap — Money Expert 💸


Dunlap’s point clearly struck a nerve with many women, who shared their own experiences of being questioned about the frugality of their own hobbies by the men in their life whose choice of entertainment cost a small fortune.

“My husband has probably $20,000 worth of gym equipment. I really just wanted a Dyson air wrap 😂,”

My coworkers & boss made fun of me for spending $200 on a concert ticket ONE time meanwhile they spend $150 on golf EVERY WEEKEND. Not to mention the season tickets to baseball and football game,”

“My dad's tools cost like $100 each but he complains when my mom goes to Micahel’s once a month.”

It was also interesting seeing how many women’s hobbies still served others in some way, whereas men’s hobbies only served themselves.

For example, one person wrote, “I spent $600 on an embroidery machine I can use year-round and for various projects and for gift giving…we spent $3800 on golf clubs for my husband to go golfing 2 to 7 times a year.”

This might come across as a battle of the sexes, but there’s a broader underlying theme at work here. Much like the avocado toast controversy of yore, we see an advantaged subset of society blaming a more disadvantaged group for consuming ‘luxuries,’ rather than seeing the system that creates the disadvantages in the first place. In other words, are we really going to chastise folks for a little retail therapy instead of the money hoarding, resource exploiting billionaires and corporations that give us the real issues? C’mon.

As Dunlap put it, “The reason women aren’t rich is because of systemic oppression.”

Still, at least we can all agree that hobbies do us a world of good—especially if they get us off of blasted screens. So really, as long as it truly does no harm, let’s just let people find joy wherever they can. Be it at sports stadiums, or at the salon.

From Your Site Articles
money
Education

A story about two pairs of boots illustrates how rich people get richer in ways poor people can't

It’s got nothing to do with bootstraps.

Photo by Maxim Hopman on Unsplash

The Sam Vimes "Boots" Theory of Socioeconomic Unfairness explains one way the rich get richer.

Any time conversations about wealth and poverty come up, people inevitably start talking about boots. The standard phrase that comes up is "pull yourself up by your bootstraps," which is usually shorthand for "work harder and don't ask for or expect help." (The fact that the phrase was originally used sarcastically because pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps is literally, physically impossible is rarely acknowledged, but c'est la vie.)

The idea that people who build wealth do so because they individually work harder than poor people is baked into the American consciousness and wrapped up in the ideal of the American dream. A different take on boots and building wealth, however, paints a more accurate picture of what it takes to get out of poverty.

Author Terry Pratchett is no longer with us, but his writing lives on and is occasionally shared on his official social media accounts. Recently, his Twitter page shared the "Sam Vimes 'Boots' Theory of Socioeconomic Unfairness" from Pratchett's 1993 book "Men At Arms." This boots theory explains that one reason the rich are able to get richer is because they are able to spend less money.

If that sounds confusing, read on:

Pratchett wrote:

"The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet."

In other words, people who have the money to spend a little more upfront often end up spending less in the long run. A $50 pair of boots that last five years essentially cost you $10 a year. But if you can only afford $10 upfront for a pair of boots that last six months, that's what you buy—and you end up paying twice as much over a five-year period.

There are so many areas in which this principle applies when you're poor. Buying in bulk saves you money over the long run, but you have to be able to afford the bulk cost up front. A reliable car that doesn't require regular repairs will cost more than a beater, but if the beater is all you can afford, that's what you're stuck with. You'll likely spend the same or more over time than if you'd bought a newer/higher quality car, but without the capital (or the credit rating) to begin with, you don't have much choice.

People who can afford larger down payments pay lower interest rates, saving them money both immediately and in the long run. People who can afford to buy more can spend more with credit cards, pay off the balances, build up good credit and qualify for lower interest rate loans.

There are lots of good financial decisions and strategies one can utilize if one has the ability to build up some cash. But if you are living paycheck to paycheck, you can't.

Climbing the financial ladder requires getting to the bottom rung first. Those who started off anywhere on the ladder can make all kinds of pronouncements about how to climb it—good, sound advice that really does work if you're already on the ladder. But for people living in poverty, the bottom rung is just out of reach, and the walls you have to climb to get to it are slippery. It's expensive to be poor.

When people talk about how hard it is to climb out of poverty, this is a big part of what they mean. Ladder-climbing advice is useless if you can't actually get to the ladder. And yet, far too many people decry offering people assistance that might help them reach the ladder so they can start taking advantage of all that great financial advice. Why? Perhaps because they were born somewhere on the ladder—even if it was the bottom rung—and aren't aware that there are people for whom the ladder is out of reach. Or perhaps they're unaware of how expensive it is to be poor and how the costs of poverty keep people stuck in the pit. Hopefully, this theory will help more people understand and sympathize with the reality of being poor.

Money makes money, but having money also saves you money. The more money you have, the more wealth you're able to build not only because you have extra money to save, but also because you buy higher quality things that last, therefore spending less in the long run. (There's also the reality that the uber-wealthy will pay $5,000 for shoes they'll only wear a few times, but that's a whole other kind of boots story.)

Thanks, Terry Pratchett, for the simple explanation.


This story originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
culture
Community

6 states where the minimum wage and cost of living offer the best bang for your buck

The highest state minimum wage in the U.S. is now $16.28 per hour, but some cities are even higher.

Map via Wikimedia Commons (multiple creators)

State minimum wages range from $7.25/hr to $17.00/hr in 2024.

Public discourse about minimum wage and living wages has been ongoing for years, with people debating whether the government should mandate a minimum hourly pay for workers. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the first federal minimum wage law in 1938, setting the lowest wage a worker could be paid at 25 cents per hour. Nearly a century later, the federal minimum wage is $7.25/hr, holding steady since 2009, with people lobbying to raise it to at least $15/hr for over a decade.

However, in addition to federal law, each state has its own laws, a handful of which establish a state minimum wage higher than $15, a handful of which don't have a set minimum wage at all and everything in between. Cost of living has also been a hot topic as inflation has squeezed everyone's wallets and certain cities and states have become utterly unaffordable, especially for people in low-wage jobs or who who are just starting out in their careers. So how do minimum wage and cost of living correlate state-by-state? Are there any sweet spots with a high(er) minimum wage and low(er) cost of living?

While there’s no perfect storm of super low cost of living and super high minimum wage—for instance, Washington, D.C. has the highest state minimum wage at $17/hr, but housing costs 140% more than the national average—there are some states where the ratio is far more favorable than others. According to Insider Monkey, here are the top six states where you can get the most bang for your minimum wage buck.

6. New Mexico

The Land of Enchantment offers a relatively decent living for its $12/hr minimum wage thanks to the state's below average cost of living. According to Rent Cafe, housing in New Mexico is 8% lower than the national average, monthly utilities are 9% lower, food is 4% lower, transportation is 3% lower and healthcare, goods and services are 2% lower.

According to Smart Asset, Albuquerque, New Mexico ranks as No. 10 in U.S. cities where minimum wage goes the furthest.

5. New Jersey

The Garden State's relatively higher-than-average cost of living is counteracted by relatively solid minimum wage of $14.13/hr. Most of the cost of living in New Jersey is wrapped up in housing, which is 30% higher than the national average, according to Rent Cafe, and utilities, which are 12% higher. Goods and services are 5% higher, but healthcare is 2% lower than the national average. Food and transportation are 1% and 2% higher, respectively.

4. Connecticut

With both a cost of living and minimum wage slightly higher than New Jersey, Connecticut rolls in at No. 4 with a $15/hr minimum wage. Where the Constitution State hits hardest is in utilities, which Rent Cafe places at 30% higher than the national average, and housing, which is 24% higher. Healthcare and goods and services are both 9% higher, while transportation and food are just 1% and 2% above average.

3. Missouri

The Show-Me State says, "Show me the money!" with its somewhat respectable $12/hr minimum wage, which goes pretty far with its relatively low cost of living. Housing is the biggest cost benefit Missouri offers at 18% lower than the national average. But utilities, food, healthcare, and goods and services are also all below average, with only transportation landing right at the national average.

Additionally, St. Louis clocked in at No. 5 for a minimum wage real-world value of $13.68 when adjusting for the city's lower-than-average cost of living.

2. Washington

With the highest state minimum wage in the nation (unless you count Washington, D.C.), Washington's $16.48/hr puts it in second place when accounting for cost of living. Make no mistake, Washington isn't cheap overall, with a cost of living 15% higher than the national average. Housing and transportation hit hard at 29% and 27% higher than the national average, respectively. Healthcare is pricey as well at 20% higher than average. Food costs 12% more, but utilities clock in at 7% less than the national average.

Two cities in Washington hit the top 15 for highest real minimum wage value, though, with Seattle at No. 13 and Spokane at No. 2.

map of united states with these states highlighted in green: Washington, New Mexico, Missouri, Illinois, New Jersey and Connecticut

These six states offer the best minimum wage to cost of living ratio.

Created with mapchart.net

1. Illinois

If you want the best bang for your minimum wage buck, head to the Prairie State with its $13/hr minimum wage and 8% lower than average cost of living. Housing in Illinois is 22% lower than average and utilities are 10% lower. The only expense that comes in higher than average for Illinois is transportation at 3% above average, which isn't enough to keep it out of the top spot.

However, there are some minimum wage sweet spots in certain U.S. cities that aren't reflected in these state rankings. According to Smart Asset, Denver, CO, is the city where minimum wage goes the farthest in the nation. Colorado comes in at a respectable 7th place in state minimum-wage-to-cost-of-living ratio, but Denver has its own mandatory minimum wage of $18.29/hr.

A citywide minimum wage is part of what puts Seattle at the No. 13 spot on that same list. Seattle is one of the most expensive cities in the U.S., but its $19.97 minimum wage for most workers changes the ratio in its favor.

Other cities in the top 10 include Buffalo, NY; Minneapolis, MN; Tucson, AZ; St. Paul, MN; Phoenix, AZ and Stockton, CA.

The minimum wage conversation may vary widely across the U.S., with different costs of living and different state laws on the books. But if you're looking to move someplace where your wage will go the furthest, these six states will likely be your best bet to check out first.


This article originally appeared in June.

From Your Site Articles
economy
Joy

'Flattery works': Plus, 14 other things 'everyone knows' but is afraid to say in public

Here's a glimpse into what people really think.

via Canva/Photos

A woman keeping herself from dropping truth bombs.

For most of us, there is an enormous chasm between what we think and say aloud. Comedians, artists and writers have the privilege of being able to speak their minds publicly, but for most of us, it’s hard to find the right time to be brutally honest.

That causes a big problem because many of us are tortured by thoughts and feelings that we think may be inappropriate. When, in reality, many folks feel the same way, they just can’t share them either.

That’s why the internet is so awesome. It gives us a place to be honest and share what we wouldn’t discuss at a polite cocktail party.

A Redditor named Fastenbauer asked folks on the AskReddit forum to share something that “everybody knows” but “nobody says aloud,” and it received over 3,500 responses. Many revolved around ways life is inherently unfair and how human civilization is more precarious than we’d like to admit.

Some of the ideas the posters shared are a little dark, but that’s okay if it lets some people know they're not the only one who thinks that way.



Here are 15 things that everybody knows but nobody says out loud.

1. Sane parents are a privilege

"Having mentally sane parents is one of the most important privileges in life, yet it isn't talked about nearly as much as race, class etc."

"I don’t think that people who do have mentally sane parents know this or will ever truly understand this."

2. Friendships are fragile

"Some friendships only last as long as they're convenient or beneficial."

"Not all friendships need to be deep and permanent. I don't stay in touch with most of my friends from my former job, but that doesn't mean we weren't friends. If circumstances brought us together again, we'd probably easily continue where we left off."

3. Looks matter

"Looks do matter, and they matter a lot."

"As someone that went from a chubby neckbeard gamer type to a ripped athletic type that actually does skincare and grooming...yeah, yes it does and a lot. It is a night and day difference the way people interact with you."

"Looks determine whether you will get a job, If you can get a date or If a person in public will be nice to you or give you contempt and definitely how people perceive you."



4. Money matters

"And it does buy happiness. Yeah, there are diminishing returns after a certain amount, but more money usually means a happier individual."

"This is because money means financial security. Buying food when you're hungry. Having a home without fear. Freedom to travel an appreciable distance. Not having to worry so much about personal life changes like job loss, pregnancy, or health problems."

5. Flattery works

"Flattery will, in fact, get you everywhere."

"Yeah, you might be the most skilled person in your field, but at some point, you WILL have to play along if you want to get a better salary/position/situation."

6. Being alive is strange

"That being alive at all and conscious is just really, really weird."

"It's like when you wake up from some messed up dream and think, 'What the hell was that? Thank god I'm back in the real world,' only to then realize that you still really have no idea what's going on and never can or will know."

"Why is there anything at all? Seems more probably there would be absolutely nothing. No stuff, life, atoms, etc. everything just never having ever existed. Why is there anything at all?"



7. We all have dark thoughts

"We all have dark thoughts that we don't act on."

"Learning the name for this (intrusive thoughts) and that it's not uncommon was such a huge relief. I love the internet."

8. Emotional intelligence is underrated

"Something I’ve noticed among colleagues is that the ones with strong EI/communication are the ones that are thriving in this difficult market. The soft skills are HUGE and unfortunately only business students learn about it."

"Most people don't even know what it is, and when you tell someone they don't have it, they get angry with you because of it... showing they don't have it."

9. Adulthood doesn't exist

"We are all just kids walking around in grown-up bodies."

"I’m 50. Looking around and NOT seeing any grown-ups is terrifying"

10. Nothing really matters

"Our world is a house of cards. It’s all meaningless, but we all rely on the structure, so no one wants to knock it down."

"The idea of meaning was created by us. There is no meaning or value inherent to anything. We make things have meaning or value through our biased perception."



11. Do you really care?

"When someone asks 'How are you?' they don't actually want to hear how you are."

"The thing is, it’s not actually a question. It’s a polite, perfunctory greeting disguised as a question. And the appropriate counter-greeting is something along the lines of, 'Fine, thanks. And you?' Answering honestly isn’t being radically honest. It’s just messing up the flow of the greeting."

12. Luck is huge

"Everybody knows that success often comes from luck and timing, but we rarely admit it. We prefer to believe it's all hard work and talent."

"To credit something other than hard work is to admit that people aren't fully in control of their own circumstances, which breaks the whole 'work hard, get ahead' schtick."

13. People who get paid the least do most of the work

"Anyone working a fast food job is working way harder than most of us."

14. We're trying our best

"No one actually knows what they're doing. We're all just trying our best."

"Been working at a cellphone retailer for 2 months now and it’s amazing how many guys have been here for years and literally have no idea what buttons do when they’re pushing when doing a sale. There’s maybe one or two that actually understand what they’re doing."

15. Complaining vs. fixing

"Most people spend their time complaining about things out of their control rather than fixing things in their control."

"Also why people get annoyed when you point out solutions, because they tend not to want to focus on solutions to their problems. Only venting about them."


From Your Site Articles
knowledge
Trending Stories