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A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM UPWORTHY
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A nasty note gets a strong response.

We've all seen it while cruising for spots in a busy parking lot: A person parks their whip in a disabled spot, then they walk out of their car and look totally fine. It's enough to make you want to vomit out of anger, especially because you've been driving around for what feels like a million years trying to find a parking spot.

You're obviously not going to confront them about it because that's all sorts of uncomfortable, so you think of a better, way less ballsy approach: leaving a passive aggressive note on their car's windshield.

Satisfied, you walk back to your car feeling proud of yourself for telling that liar off and even more satisfied as you walk the additional 100 steps to get to the store from your lame parking spot all the way at the back of the lot. But did you ever stop and wonder if you told off the wrong person?



What if that person on the receiving end of the note had a perfectly good explanation for why they're driving car with a disabled sticker and tag?

That's exactly what happened to Emma Doherty, who was surprised to see someone pen such vitriolic words to her in this letter she found on her car.

The language in the note is pretty harsh:

"You lazy conning b-tch. You did not have a disabled person with you! These spaces are reserved for people who need them!!!"

I get that avoiding conflict is something that's been trained into us, but maybe if whoever wrote this note decided to say something to Emma, this entire thing could've been cleared up entirely.

Instead, she had to take to Facebook to pick apart the anonymous grouch and explain her situation to the rest of us. And hopefully whoever wrote the note (if they see her post) understands why they were terribly wrong.

Emma is the mother of a terminally ill child, Bobby. Her ruthless and powerful message sheds light on the misconceptions associated with disabilities and helps to break the stigma that all impairments are visible, because they're not.

"To the person who put this on my car, which I had put my disabled badge fully on, I'm not angry at your pure ignorance, I'm actually upset with it. How dare you ever accuse anyone of not needing a disabled badge without knowing. I wish you had the balls to say this to my face and I would have told you (even tho I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you) but I'd have happily said why I have a badge."

"I promise to get the stigma away from people with disabled badges who don't "look disabled." I hope this gets shared and back to you and you will see my son is terminally ill, he's had over 15 operations, 3 open hearts, 2 stomach, lung and diaphragm and countless artery stenting operations and spent half his life on intensive care."

respect, community, disabilities, visible disability

Emma Doherty and her son Bobby.

SOURCE: FACEBOOK

In her post, she delineates the severity of Bobby's illness, which has put the young man through multiple surgeries and procedures that are no walks in the park.

"He's had 2 strokes and was paralyzed, brain damaged and has a spine and hip condition as well as a massive heart condition. The reason I didn't get his wheelchair out was because I was running late because my son, who had a MRI scan, CTSCAN and a dye for heart function yesterday, only got discharged late and was back in this morning so carried him in."

"But for your information not everyone who holds a blue badge needs to have a wheelchair! I've told ... security and broke down, I've sat through things nobody should see but why did your note break me? Because it's your pure ignorance towards others. I'm a single mom trying my best to hold it together for my son who's in and out if hospital. NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE and I hope you regret doing this and learn your lesson!”

Throughout her post, Emma simultaneously castigates the person and drives one important point home: Just because someone isn't in a wheelchair or crutches, doesn't mean they aren't disabled or in need of physical care or assistance.

I knew something would be said one day as every day I get looks and stares and see people whispering to each other about me and Bobby walking from the car. Everyone needs to stop and think before acting. I hardly ever let anything upset me but this did. How aggressive as well, and as for conning my son's disabled pass... [It] is not a con, he's actually seriously ill. I've added a picture of him to prove not everyone looks ill or disabled but can be seriously ill.

The mother clarifies at the end of the message that she's sure it wouldn't be a hospital staff member who wrote the message, because those who work in healthcare are well aware of the various reasons someone would have a disabled tag on their vehicle.

"I'd like to point out this has nothing to do with the hospital itself. They were lovely with me when I was upset and they treat us with every respect, always have [in our] 3 long years with them. They've saved my son's life many times. It [was] just somebody who was parked [there].”

Her post quickly went viral, with many people echoing her sentiments and thanking her for helping to clear up that tons of people suffer from different disabilities and that not all of them are so readily apparent.

SOURCE: FACEBOOK

And as it turns out, Emma isn't the only parent who's dealt with judgmental individuals who gave them flack for having a disabled sticker on their car. As if having to deal with a sick child isn't enough, they also have to suffer through getting guff from randos on the street over a measly parking spot.

SOURCE: FACEBOOK

Bobby's condition has left him without pulmonary artery function, which means that blood will not pump throughout his body. As you can imagine, walking long distances — or performing many physical tasks otherwise healthy individuals take for granted — are out of the question for the 3-year-old.

As a result of her son's condition, Emma has to take him to the hospital for treatments throughout the week, and seeing the note on her car while having to deal with that ultimately set her off. Thankfully, she used her anger to send a positive message.

Floored by the positive response to her message, Emma went back online to thank people for being so receptive and helping to spread awareness that disabilities come in many forms.


"My inbox is full of people who have told me they have been stared at or even spat at. This is a serious problem and I just want it to change. I am hoping by sharing what I went through people will start to think before acting."



This article first appeared on 11.26.19.


Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

Joy

Here's to the klutzes! Viral video of clumsy people just trying to live life hits home.

"Hands up if you have been personally victimised by a door handle 🙌"

Images courtesy of Tommy Solemn/Instagram

Some people can't make it through the day without multiple inexplicable mishaps.

Some people are gifted with good balance and graceful movements, while others…well…are not.

For whatever reason, a certain percentage of folks are lovably clumsy, unable make it through a day without dropping, spilling, bumping, tripping, knocking, kicking or otherwise fudging up their surroundings in some way. These are the folks for whom the phrase "bull in a china shop" was coined, and bless 'em, they simply can't help it.

If that's you or someone you know and love, we've got a treat for you.


Instagram creator Tommy Solemn made a video of "clumsy people just trying to live a happy life," and it hits home for countless klutzes who see themselves in every slip, flip, drip and trip. The video has over 55 million views and counting, which speaks to how many people it speaks to.

Watch here:

The physical comedy is brilliant, but the clumsy among us seeing themselves in the comments the real delight.

"Hands up if you have been personally victimised by a door handle! 🙌"

"The clothes on the door knob….. I felt that in my soul 😂 happens to me every time."

"Me, then i wonder where bruises come from. 😅"

"I didn’t give you permission to record me in my house."

"'Suggested for you' I FEEL ATTACKED."

Some people added even more scenarios they've experienced.

"What about the one where you've successfully switched the tap on to wash something in the kitchen sink, then you reach over to turn the tap off. But somehow, as you reach over, the spout of the tap goes up your sleeve and you get a sleeve full of water. I don't know how many times I've done that one."

"You forgot about putting something down super carefully, then knocking it over pulling your hand away 🤣"

"All these things happen to me all the time. I was walking down the road with a shopping bag and somehow the handles got caught on the tyre valve of a parked car and yanked me backwards. How does that even happen?"

"I literally play 5 instruments and can balance on my toes in ballet pointe shoes but walking into a doorway without hitting my pinky toe is impossible."

"Why is this me though 🤣 I actually walked really hard headfirst into a sign on a lamppost yesterday and someone asked me if I was ok and I wanted to disappear. 🫠"

Here's to the community of klutzes who feel seen and a little less alone, thanks to this video. You can follow Tommy Solemn on Instagram for more.

Joy

Woman pranks man into thinking skin shedding is a common PMS symptom and it's comedy gold

“My skin…It sheds every month. Surely you knew that Aaron.”

@hairlookslondon/Instagram

He'll never be the same

Unless they are working OBGYNS, had a bunch of sisters growing up, or chronically on WebMD, odds are that many men don’t have a detailed clinical knowledge of all the ins-and-outs of the female menstrual cycle. Heck, it can be perplexing enough to those that actually have menstrual cycles.

Apparently, all of this mystery surrounding that time of the month can make for excellent prank fodder.

In a video shared onto Instagram by @hairlookslondon, a girl films herself in front of a mirror peeling off either a sheer face mask…which just so happens to look like she’s actually shedding skin off her face. Granted, it could be real skin after a chemical peel of some sort. But one thing it’s definitely not is a PMS symptom.

But she tells her boyfriend it is anyway.


In the clip, we see a shocked young man ask in horror “what is that?” as flesh pulls from the girl's face.

Nonchalantly, the woman replies, “my skin…It sheds every month. Surely you knew that Aaron.”

No, Aaron most certainly did not know that.

She takes it one step further by saying that her entire body will soon shed, like a lizard. It happens to girls every month, for their time of the month. Duh.

The look on his face when she politely asks him to throw away the lifeless shreds…priceless.

Watch:

In case anyone here needs this: skin shedding is most definitely not something that happens during a menstrual cycle. Shedding of uterine lining? Sure. But skin? Nah.

If you thought the video itself was hilarious, get ready to crack up at the comments women left playing along with the ruse.

“When woman live together for a longer period of time, related or not related to each other, we’ll start to synchronize shedding as well 🦎😮💨”

“PMS stands for Peeling My Skin… I thought everyone knew that.”

“Wait until you have kids!!!!…you shed so much more!!!! 😭”

“Little known fact: Garden sheds were originally invented so women had somewhere private to do their monthly shed. It’s an excellent fertilizer too.”

Another little known “fact”: shedding apparently varies widely across the world!

“In Jamaica, when the women shed their skin we go into the mountains where the shedding trees are and cover ourselves in shed tree sap to help the skin shed faster. It feels so good to finally talk about it.”

“As a Muslim woman myself, we aren’t allowed to share our shedding cycle with men in our family except husband. Hoping we will get there one day, where everyone can talk about this more openly.”

“In Germany when we shed we give the skin to make sausages.”

“In Brazil there are some indigenous tribes that bury the shed in the woods so the plants grow stronger and help the forest regenerate.”

“I’m Japanese. We have loads of beauty clinics here where they help our skins to shed properly. You know when we tried to shed in our teens? It was such hassle and some parts wouldn’t come off properly so it left spots. In clinics, they massage and plump the skin so it peels off in one piece from head to toe, it’s sooooo satisfying…”

“My Swedish grandmother made tea from her dried skin sheddings. Added a tiny bit of wild honey. It’s a great way to get your magnesium.”

Some kindly chimed in with their own “shedding tips.”

“Drinking loads of coconut water and eating watermelon a week before the shed starts has really helped me. It just peels off faster and easier. Hope this helps those who face difficulties with their shed. Staying hydrated is the key.”

“I feed my pets with the shedded skin parts, great source of collagen, especially for senior dogs.”

A few even praised this woman for trying to normalize this deeply guarded secret among women.

I’ve been with my husband 15 years and he’s only seen me shed once - I blamed it on a sunburn. We should normalize this

Others…weren’t so happy she publicly revealed something so “sacred.”

“I can't believe she allowed him to see her shed. I do mine in private.”

“The fact that someone would come on the internet and publicly shed is weird AF 🥴 it’s supposed to be a private intimate phenomenon but you posting it for everyone to see.”

Gosh, the comedy gold just keeps going and going. Kudos to the community for understanding the assignment. Hope that fella isn't too traumatized though.