Postpartum can be a challenging time. Extra support goes a long way
Bringing a baby into the world can be a dream come true for many women. But that bliss is quickly compromised by the physical and emotional toll caused by the postpartum phase.
During this time, when hormones are raging and focus is compromised and energy is practically nonexistent—all while trying to recover from extreme physical transformations and keeping a newborn alive—having partner support is more important than ever.
That’s what makes one woman’s detailed list of things husbands (or just the partner who didn’t not deliver the baby, really) can do to help support mom moms through postpartum such an important read.
In a clip posted to her TikTok, Melissa Messer noted that her list was still the “bare minimum” of what she thinks men “should” be doing during the postpartum phase in order to really show support. But the list was comprehensive nonetheless.
To start, Messer stated that two different water bottles should be filled for mom at all times — her water bottle and her peri bottle. One for hydration, the other for comfort.
Have healing products stock and ready to go.
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“Okay, first and arguably most important is that water bottles should always be filled with ice water. Like, don't even let it get to the point where she has to ask. Just have that thing ready. Another thing that should be filled without them having to think about is their peri bottle that they're using to heal,” she said.
And that’s not the only healing product that should be at the ready. Messer also suggested that there be a constant stockpile of pads, disposable underwear and Tucks pads. That way moms “don’t even have to think about it when they go into the bathroom.”
Since emotional support is also part of the job, Messer gave a tip for what to do during late night feedings, which can be “lonely” for their postpartum partner.
“I know, at night, it's like, ‘What can I do? Like I can't feed the baby if she's breastfeeding.’ Wake up in the middle of the night for moral support, you know?” she suggested, which brought her into her next point: “Tell her she's a good mom, at least three times a day minimum.”
Next up: domestic chores, like laundry, housework, changing diapers, etc., so that mom can “shower and nap.” though Messer noted that “that's kind of like a given,” especially if this is the couple’s first child.
For families that already do have kids, Messer said that responsibilities might change a bit, and might require more attention towards the older kids.
“You should be doing everything with the other kids. Checking in and asking if mom needs anything, even though you're with the other kids the whole time,” she explained.
She also added that with multiple kids the house is more likely to be messy, but it should never get “completely overwhelming.”
Last but certainly not least, Messer encouraged husbands to be “extra nice” to their wives, and even get them a “special treat” from time to time. Because “there is so much that moms are going through that guys are never gonna experience.”
@melissmesser Clearly i feel strongly about the water bottle LMAO #greenscreen #momsoftiktok #POSTPARTUM #postpartumrecovery #postpartumjourney #pregnancytiktok #pregnancy #postpartumlife #postpartumsupport #postpartumbody #postpartum ♬ original sound - Melissa
Over in the comments, viewers added some other tips to the list, like managing the meals and buying a bottle warmer for peri bottle, so it can be used instantly.
Others chimed in to praise their current hubbies who already showed up in big ways.
“I see these lists and immediately feel so grateful I got a good one!” one mom wrote.
Another added “I am so emotional right now listening to those knowing I got a good one.”
Postpartum is rarely a walk in the park—for either mom or dad. But just like any other challenge, it can be so much easier to navigate through partnership. And it doesn't hurt to review where you can be a more supportive partner, even if you are already doing a ton of things right. Seeing things simplified into a list just like this one is an easy way to do that.
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An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
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Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.