These postpartum rules for moms in the 1960s are going viral because they're ridiculous.
If you don’t believe the hospital experience for new mothers has changed that much in the last few decades, read through the mind-blowing instructions one institution issued every one of their postpartum patients.
“My mom was going through her things and we saw this, it's rules in regards to just having a baby,” Micala Gabrielle Henson wrote alongside the document which she posted on Facebook. The letter had been issued to her grandmother the day her mother was born.
“INSTRUCTION FOR MOTHERS,” the slightly yellowed document issued by Cabarrus Memorial Hospital in Concord, North Carolina reads.
Henson, who welcomed her first child, a little boy, just five months ago, says she was “so surprised and kind of in disbelief” when she read through some of the issued “routines” and instructions ordered by nursing service department, which claimed to be devised in order to “safeguard you and your baby.”
First off, forget about spending your hospital stay bonding with your new baby.
Instead, you can spend less than two hours a day viewing them from behind glass. “Babies are on display at Nursery window from 2:30 to 3:30 P.M. and 7:00 to 7:45 P.M. Please do not ask to see baby at any other time,” reads one of the rules.
And when it comes to actually nursing your baby, they get even stricter/more absurd. Another rule lists the hour increments (three hours apart) when “baby will come to mother for feeding.”
During the first 24 hours after the birth, a mother is only allowed to nurse her baby for five minutes, followed by “approximately 7 minutes” on the second and third days and 10 to 15 minutes the fourth and fifth. “If Baby Nurses Longer It May Cause The Nipple To Become Sore.” Because, um, a sore nipple is much worse than a hungry, screaming newborn.
Note that “No visitor is allowed on floor or in room during nursing periods, including father,” because god forbid someone else — especially the baby’s father — get a glimpse of that breastfeeding action. I mean, they might even see a (gasp!) boob.
Oh yeah, and while smoking in general isn’t discouraged, nurses lay down the law when it comes to lighting up. “Do not smoke while baby is in the room,” they instruct. Because back in the 1960s, smoking in the hospital was totally a thing.
The nurses also had some pretty strong orders about what foods new moms should absolutely not to eat.
They issued the list of forbidden foods in all caps, just to make sure everyone knew how seriously to take the restrictions. “DO NOT EAT CHOCOLATE CANDY, RAW APPLE, CABBAGE, NUTS, STRAWBERRIES, CHERRIES, ONIONS, OR GREEN COCOANUT [sic] CAKE,” they warn. But, perhaps brown coconut cake is okay? We may never know.
Commenters were as shocked as could be expected. Some wanted to know what green coconut cake is and why exactly it was blacklisted? Others couldn’t believe new mothers weren’t discouraged from smoking in general (“Ladies put your cigarettes down when you feed the baby,” joked Sydney Miller). However, a slew of mothers pointed out that they experienced similar restrictions — just twenty years ago!
“I would be barred from the hospital!” wrote Lisa O’Neil. “21 years ago I had my first baby and the rules were pretty ridiculous then also, my urge to mummy my daughter won me the right to be ignored by the midwives.”
While we’re all pretty blown away by the antiquated practices of 1968, as a new mom, Henson found the nursing rules to be particularly shocking — especially the suggested breastfeeding time increments.
“I absolutely could not believe that,” she says. “I guess I had never thought about how breastfeeding wasn’t always such a big thing. But wow, only breastfeeding my baby for five minutes?! Especially when he was a newborn?! My baby would be so upset!”
The letter has been shared thousands of times, and rightfully so. Every single person on the planet needs to read it, take a moment to absorb its ridiculousness and be reminded of how things have seriously changed for the better in the last 50 years — at least in regards to birthing a baby!
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.