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Parenting

Parents go viral for 'secret' praise technique. Science confirm it’s certifiably genius.

“I promise that if you do this in front of your child, their confidence will skyrocket!”

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice gentle parenting.

There are so many conflicting ideas about building self-confidence in children. Is there a right way? Could praise be harmful? Should everyone receive a gold star? As with many things in life, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one—hiding in plain sight, or just out of it.

Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice “gentle-parenting” with their daughter, Nhyara. Shared in a video on Instagram, one of their techniques is talking about Nhyara when she's within earshot but out of sight. These aren't your typical behind-closed-doors parent conversations—no venting about daily frustrations or sharing complaints they'd never say to her face. Instead, they create intentional moments of celebration, offering genuine praise and heartfelt affirmation.


In a viral Instagram post that's garnered over one million likes, Mulwanda writes, “POV: You talk behind your child's back so they can hear you.” Self-described as a “passionate mother, content creator, and small business owner,” Mulwanda naturally overflows with ideas: she writes a Substack, She Who Blooms, which is about “blooming in our own time, in our own way.” She also runs Rooted, a shop where she “carefully curates products that embody the essence of growth, empowerment, and staying rooted in one's true self.”

In the video, Mulwanda and her partner sit in a quiet corner, chatting about their daughter Nhyara while occasionally peeking around to see if she's listening—which she is. With her within earshot but not directly part of the conversation, they discuss their daughter:

“I'm just so proud of her and the things she does,” her mom starts.

“She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out,” adds her dad. They go on to applaud her independence (“She's always telling me, 'Daddy, I want to brush my teeth on my own,'” says Zephi), before concluding that she's amazing.

“She's amazing,” says Mulwanda. “So, so, so amazing,” Zephi responds.



People in the comments were obviously here for it. Parents shared their own versions of this technique, including one who wrote, “As a solo mom, I pretend to make phone calls to a family member and do this.”

Another parent shared a powerful example:

“My son used to be scared of climbing down the stairs. So, my husband said loudly, 'He's very brave! He has shown a lot of courage lately.' The next day, when we tried carrying him down the stairs, he said, 'Nope, I have a lot of courage in me.'”

Others reflected on their own childhoods. One commenter wrote, “No exaggeration, I'd be an entirely different person had my parents been like this with me.”

“Stop, I was just thinking last night, 'When I have kids, I'm going to have loud conversations with my future husband about how much I love our children and how proud I am of them,'” another enthusiastically shared.


child, hiding, parenting, conversations, praiseChildren believe that conversations between adults are more “authentic” and honest.Photo credit: Canva

Research indicates that indirect praise has a stronger psychological impact than direct praise, particularly in young children.

“This is such a powerful way of reinforcing positive behavior,” explains parenting influencer Cara Nicole, who also went viral for her unique approach to parenting. “There's something special about overhearing others talk about you—you know they're being genuine because they're not saying it directly to you.”

This effectiveness stems from children's innate understanding that conversations between adults tend to be more honest than parent-child interactions. From an early age, children recognize that direct conversations with parents often have an intentional, behavior-shaping purpose. In contrast, overheard praise feels authentic and spontaneous, rather than an attempt to influence the child's self-image.

These techniques work best when praise focuses on effort and process rather than innate qualities. Take Nhyara's dad's comment: “She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out.”


Yet, it's crucial to keep praise realistic and measured. Avoid overzealous claims about future achievements, like acing every spelling test for the rest of her life. Children have keen intuition; if they sense insincerity, the strategy can backfire, damaging their trust in parents. Similarly, over-inflated praise—like declaring “incredible” performance for average effort—can burden children with unrealistic expectations.

Keep it simple. A casual remark like, “I noticed how carefully Maya put away her toys without being asked. That was so nice. It really helped keep the house clean.”

The viral response to Mulwanda's video demonstrates the power of gentle parenting combined with thoughtful, specific praise. It's heartening to see modern parents sharing their diverse approaches to showing their children love. For many commenters who didn't experience this kind of upbringing, these conversations offer a path to healing. As Mulwanda eloquently states in her pinned comment:

“To those of you who only heard negative as a child, you were never the problem. You were a child, and you didn’t deserve the experience you had. Your presence on this earth is a blessing, and the fact that you show up every single day is proof of just how amazing you are. You are brave, you are beautiful (you too, boys), and you deserve the world and more.
If any of you feel emotions rising up, close your eyes, hug your inner child, and remind them that you’re there.” - Namwila Mulwanda


This is not a before picture.

When Molly Galbraith posted on Facebook a photo of herself on a beach in a bikini, her caption wasn't your usual "look at me" selfie.

"This not a before picture. This is not an after picture," she writes.

Based in Lexington, Kentucky, Galbraith is the owner and co-founder of Girls Gone Strong, a company that seeks to provide fitness solutions and community not influenced by the juggernaut, multi-billion dollar weight loss industry, and in her caption for the Facebook post, she creating a litany of what her body has experienced and withstood. "This is a body that loves protein and vegetables and queso and ice cream. This is a body that loves bent presses and pull-ups and deadlifts and sleep. This is a body that has been abused with fast food and late nights and stress. This body has been publicly evaluated, judged, and criticized."


Galbraith's list goes on, and, so far, the image and caption have spread like wildfire across Facebook, inspiring many others.

"This is the first year in as long as I can remember that I have made NO resolutions to change the way my body looks," writes Galbraith. "Today this is a body that is loved, adored, and cherished by the only person whose opinion matters — ME."

body acceptance, women, self love, therapy

This is Molly Galbraith.

Molly Galbraith on Facebook.

This article originally appeared on 08.18.19

Representative Image from Canva

May we all be able to give ourselves this kind of self esteem boost

Honestly, there should be positive self-talk classes for adults taught entirely by kids. Kids seem to have no trouble telling themselves how worthy they are with 100% conviction, and it’s a skill that so many of us grown-ups end up having to relearn in life.

Luckily, social media provides free masterclasses.

A father named Jay noticed his young daughter Tatum was so confident in front of the camera that he dedicated an entire Instagram account to her called @dadsdoittoo, where she regularly gives unabashed pep talks to folks.

But it’s her latest spiel that’s really got people talking.


Jay allowed Tatum 20 seconds of alone time in the bathroom to say whatever she wanted, mimicking the popular current trend for parents to allow their kids to experiment with swear words in a private, safe space for a limited amount of time.

Only Tatum decided to give it her own wholesome spin.

Looking at herself in the camera, Tatum says “I got this,” before shouting at the top of her lungs, "I'm a queen, I'm a young queen! I'm a superstar!"

Ramping up, Tatum continues, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, and I love myself!” And then, the kicker:

"I'm a Barbie, and I look pretty!” This even got a response from the official Barbie Instagram account, which commented, "And don't you forget it 😉💖."

And of course,Tatum ends her epic pep talk with her signature move—a peace sign.

Down in the comments, people could help but praise the young queen, and for her parents.

“She understood the assignment,” one person wrote.

“My fav part was that she didn’t speak, she PROJECTED,” another added.

A third said. “She is all that. Good for her that she has the confidence at such an early age and good for her parents that they recognize. This is so important for her future.”

Another suggested that Jay save the video, so that “when she had challenges later in life...let her listen to her voice!❤️❤️❤️”

And of course, it left adults inspired to do the same.

“Gonna recite this in the mirror next time I need a confidence boost,” one viewer shared.

Little ones really do have so much to teach us.

Joy

Woman decides that she is the love of her life and marries herself at her retirement home

“I said, you know what, I’ve done everything else. Why not?”

77-year-old woman decides she's the love of her life and marries herself.

We joke about marrying ourselves or a platonic friend if some arbitrary amount of time has passed without a proposal from an imaginary suitor. And sure, some people do wind up marrying a friend in more of a business arrangement, but it's not very common that someone follows through with marrying themselves.

Dorothy "Dottie" Fideli, decided that she was going to break the mold. The 77-year-old sat down and thought about all of the things she had done in life and who was with her the entire time cheering her on. It was an easy answer: herself. She was her biggest cheerleader, the person who always showed up and the love of her life, so Fideli made the plan to marry herself.

On a beautiful May day, friends and family gathered in the O’Bannon Terrace Retirement Community, where Fideli is a resident, to witness the ceremony.


"I have been with myself for 40 years. Something just came over me one day in church that, 'you want to do something special for yourself,'" Fideli told KCEN.

It was Fideli's daughter, Donna Pennington, that helped her pull together the emotional ceremony, complete with a wedding dress and an officiant. The grandmother spent most of her life raising her three children and helping to care for her grandchildren, and she felt like it was time to do something for herself.

This isn't Fideli's first marriage. She was actually married once before in 1965, but she didn't get to have a wedding. Fideli and her ex-husband were married in a courthouse ceremony where she wore a black dress and were divorced nine years later. Something tells me that this marriage is going to last a lifetime though.

You can catch a glimpse of her wedding below: