+
A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM UPWORTHY
We are a small, independent media company on a mission to share the best of humanity with the world.
If you think the work we do matters, pre-ordering a copy of our first book would make a huge difference in helping us succeed.
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy

gentle parenting

Mom's reaction to toddler's self haircut

An unsupervised toddler with a pair of scissors is nightmare fuel for parents.

Will you find shredded books, a hole in your new couch, or a pile of lopped off hair when you emerge from your quick trip to the potty?

Toddlers may still be very young, but they are fast and have a knack for getting ahold of unapproved things quickly, inflicting maximum destruction. TikTok user, @designerluxury4you, shared a video of their toddler proudly showing off the haircut she had given herself.

Experiencing your child giving themselves or their siblings a haircut seems to be a rite of passage for parents.

But the way this mom handled the discovery is showing how gentle parenting is changing the game. It's pretty safe to say that most parents would react in a more expressive way and immediately remove the scissors from the child's hands. This mom responded in the kindest and most respectful way you can imagine and maybe the internet is a little better for having seen it.



When the mom walks in to see her daughter holding a pair of child's scissors, she calmly asks, "What'd you do?" to which the now mullet-sporting toddler explains her actions. The little girl, Max, says, "I cutted all of it off and I put it on here." While the toddler is finishing her story we get a quick glimpse of the pile of blonde hair sitting on the nightstand. This is the point that seems to divide the commenters because the reaction isn't anger or even a stern tone. Instead, this shocked mom says, "Oh, wow. You did a really good job, Max."

The mom asked if her daughter felt better since her hair was no longer in her face, to which Max answered, "Yep." Max was given several options, including going to the hairdresser to fix it. The video cuts off before we find out the toddler's choice, but the mom's reaction was the topic of discussion in the comments.

One person wrote, "Seriously, this is impressive parenting. What a gift you are to her."

Another said, "Wow, you handled that so well lol she's so adorable."

Others were confused and more critical of the mom's calm reaction and lack of consequences. Someone wrote, "I just can't with gentle parenting. She lost me when she said no but allowed it anyway."

A different user expressed confusion, writing, "Not knocking gentle parenting but at the end of the day how does she learn this was wrong and not to do it again?"

There were multiple comments reminding people that even though the girl is a toddler, it's still her hair and she should get to decide what to do with it.

Watch the video below. Do you think this mom handled this situation well?

@designerluxury4u

Talent #gamimy #kidsoftiktok #girlpower #beautician ##parentsoftiktok

This story originally aired on 1.4.23

A 6-year-old and his dad shared a moment of emotional regulation after a toddler meltdown.

Anyone who has parented a spirited "threenager" knows how hard handling toddler tantrums can be. Parents often joke about our wee ones throwing down, because laughter is sometimes the only way to cope. But in reality, it can be extremely disturbing and distressing for the entire household when a family member carries on in a way that feels—or truly is—out of control.

Major tantrums can be especially hard for parents who didn't have good parenting examples themselves. It takes superhuman patience to be the parents we want to be some days, and none of us does it perfectly all the time. When a child is screaming and crying over something irrational and nothing seems to be working to get them to stop, exhausted parents can lose their cool and respond in ways they normally wouldn't.


That's one reason a TikTok video of a father and son captured in the aftermath of an epic toddler tantrum has caught people's attention. Many of us have been in the dad's shoes before, frazzled and shaken by the relentlessness and intensity of a 3-year-old's meltdown. And many of us have been in the son's shoes as well, witnessing a younger sibling's insanity and our parents' struggle to manage the situation.

But the way this father and son support one another is bringing people to tears with its beautiful example of emotional regulation, empathy and connection.

TikTok user @mollymikos shared the video, explaining that their 3-year-old had just thrown a 2 1/2-hour tantrum (which she clarified was actually two tantrums with a 10-minute break in between). "We did not have Unicorn Chopsticks and would not go to the store (where they don’t sell unicorn chopsticks….)," she explained when someone asked what the fit was over. Sounds about right. The tyrannical threes are no joke.

So much to love in this video. First, the 6-year-old, whom Mikos describes as "empathetic" and "a deeply feeling kid," demonstrated impressive self-regulation skills. The way he started taking deep breaths and suggested that he and Dad do some deep breathing together was inspiring. Second, the dad apologized for losing it and explained that they were trying to set a better example as parents, which many parents are far too proud to do. Finally, the kiddo displayed such deep understanding and compassion, it was clear these parents have worked hard to create healthy emotional connections and open communication in their family.

@mollymikos

#selfregulation #meltdowns #threenagers #precociouschildren

Mikos tells Upworthy that she and her husband have been working hard to break the stress cycles that so often get passed down from generation to generation.

"I didn’t realize how much would be brought up by having children," she says. "We are working on repairing and changing the way we interact with our children so that they feel supported instead of shamed."

Mikos says social media has given this generation of parents access to experts, studies and revelations that can help them navigate raising kids with gentle parenting principles. She personally finds inspiration on Instagram from Dr. Becky Kennedy, Janet Lansbury, Conscious Mommy and Eli Harwood. "They’ve changed my life," she says.

People are loving the example Mikos and her husband are setting with—and for—their kids.

"This just goes to show how much of a great job your doing!!!" wrote one commenter. "Toddlers are hard and the fact your 6yo was able to empathize and communicate shows it."

"This is why you’re good parents," shared another. "Your older child can regulate his emotions and is empathetic. That’s amazing at any age and you did that."

"Not me sobbing at 2 am bc this is the healthiest parent-child relationship ever," wrote another. "Keep it up 😭😭💕 yall are doing awesome."

Mikos has been heartened by all the comments on her video. The fact that her husband apologized to their son for losing his patience was particularly moving for a lot of commenters, especially those who had parents who never did that. "Many people have said that they didn't realize parents could apologize to their children," she says. "Yes. Please apologize. They need to know we make mistakes, and that we still love them and are constantly trying to do better."

Apologizing to our kids when we're in the wrong or when we behave in a way we're not proud of demonstrates respect and teaches accountability by example. The fact that this dad is comfortable apologizing is likely a big reason why his son has the emotional tools that he does.

Gentle, compassionate parenting may not instantaneously end a tantrum, but it does pay off with big emotional and relational wins in the long run.


This article originally appeared on 11.12.22

Parenting

Woman reveals the meaningful phrase her mom used that changed her life as a child

"I feel like this would even benefit adults in a marriage, friendship, etc."

Woman reveals magic phrase mom used that changed her life

There's always advice out there for parents that promise to be the game changer everyone's been looking for but since every child is different, the claim rarely rings true. But this piece of advice might just do the thing it claims because it's such a simple shift and allows for both parent and child to feel validated in tough situations.

Anjuli Paschall recently posted a video sharing a phrase her mom used with her as a child that changed her life. She shares that over Christmas break she was washing the family's antique china, five of the fragile dishes fell to the floor and shattered. At the sound of the noise, Paschall's mom screamed from the other room, "I love you more than those dishes."

A simple reassuring phrase that Paschall has heard all of her life reassuring her that mistakes happen but her mom will always love her more.


But her mom didn't just use it when mishaps occurred, she used it even when accomplishments were achieved. The purpose was to continually remind Paschall that nothing she could do or achieve would diminish her mother's love. Children can absorb so much and internalize things that may come out in perfectionist tenancies, so the phrase "I love you more than..." is meant to build confidence and self forgiveness. Commenters tell Paschall how helpful that phrase is and how their plans to use it.

"Decorating birthday sugar cookies with my 7 year old today and the platter we loaded them on dropped and broke as she carried it… my immediate reaction, 'It’s fine… I love you so much more than that platter and cookies… we’ll make more.'
Your post was so timely, friend. Thank you," one mom writes.

"As someone whose expertise is mind and nervous system development and how this influences adult life, this is so powerful. When they feel this as kids they don't NEED to hear it from the world, because it is encoded within them as embodied truth already," someone else shares.

"You know what’s the best part? This sentence is very real, logical, and gives even the parent themselves a reality check that they may need in a moment when they’re angry. Yes, I love those dishes. But do I love them more than I love my child? Hell no. So yeah, better tell them in that moment when they are in a doubt," another says.

While this little phrase may not be for everyone, it is certainly one that a lot of commenters are wishing they heard as children. Watch the entire video below:

Little girl gives mom the sweetest inspirational speech

Sometimes little kids surprise us when we least expect it. Granted sometimes the surprise involves some sort of bug or strange smell emanating from their hands but sometimes it's just something too sweet not to share. One mom did not know she was in for an inspirational speech when she decided to style her daughter's hair that morning.

Shena Vici recently uploaded an adorable video of her young daughter giving the mom an unexpected pep talk. The little girl, Halo, doesn't look to me much older than 4 or 5 years old but she clearly has wisdom far beyond her years. In the tiniest little voice, she says, "mommy, you're perfect just the way you are."

Vici asks the little girl what if she didn't think she was perfect and Halo comes through with one of the sweetest encouraging messages anyone doubting themselves could here. The message is even more adorable coming from such a tiny person.


"You're beautiful just the way you are, no matter if you don't have lipgloss. Don't matter if you have nose rings, don't matter if you have tattoos, don't matter if you have bracelets," Halo reveals.

But what does make someone beautiful if it isn't earrings, tattoos and lipgloss? "Your heart," according to Halo, and the entire internet takes a collective sigh.

"I just want to put her in a bubble and protect her from the world," one person writes.

"I'm following because I wanna be whatever kind of mother you are that allows your baby to speak to you like that," someone else says.

"Her little voice with those wise words. Good job raising that beautiful child," another commenter praises.

Others wanted to know if Halo was taking life coaching clients while others praised mom on what a good job she was doing raising such a confident child. She is definitely delivering a powerful message to those that need to hear it and you can see the entire thing below.