15 of the funniest lies parents have ever told their kids. Some are classics.
"My dad always told me he was terrified of mice and rats, so we couldn't go to Chuck E. Cheese.”

A child eating some watermelon. Chuck E. Cheese and the ice cream man.
Kids will believe everything their parents tell them. Some parents may tell the occasional white lie to protect their child’s innocence. At the same time, others will elevate the act of lying to their children as an art form, getting them to believe the craziest things to amuse themselves. It's not always the right thing to do. But it's often hilarious.
Some lies are passed on from generation to generation, such as “Don’t make a face like that; it’ll stick,” “You can’t swim right after lunch, or you’ll get sick,” or “The stork brings babies.” Even though the occasional lie seems harmless, especially if it’s protecting the child, experts say we should be careful about eroding our children’s trust.
“It seems important that children can trust adults, particularly their parents. Lying to children jeopardizes that trust and may be associated with other negative outcomes, such as higher levels of psychosocial maladjustment later in life,” Rebecca Brown, Senior Research Fellow at the Uehiro Oxford Institute, University of Oxford, writes for The Conversation.
That being said, some lies parents tell their kids are pretty darn hilarious. We’ve compiled a list of the best of them that we pulled from 2 viral posts on Reddit. Just pinky swear that you won’t use them on your kids the next time they hear the ice cream man ask to go to Chuck E. Cheese or swallow their bubble gum.
1. The kid cops
"My grandma would point at the armored money trucks outside stores and would tell me that those are the trucks that take misbehaved children away. Shit freaked me out."
"My mom used to tell my sisters that the barred-up closed stores in the mall were mall jail, and that's where they put the bad kids. My sisters also somehow got it in their heads that they would turn into mannequins."
2. Lies about lying
"Telling kids that lying makes your ears turn red was a brilliant idea. I'll have to use it."
"My variation of this was their tongue turned purple. When they lie, they get nervous, their heart rate increases, and the blood drains from their tongue, changing its normal pink color into a darker purple. I'd ask to see their tongue. If they told the truth they were happy to oblige. If they lied, they refused. This lasted about two months. They practiced lying to each other and concluded I was the liar."
3. 'Popeye eats it!'
"My mother told me that spinach would make me strong like Popeye and if i ate it i could lift the house. I would have a few spoonfulls and then she'd rush outside with me and i'd try and lift the house, squeezing my eyes shut with the effort. She'd go "'t moved! It moved! Quick, eat some more!' and i'd run back inside and finish it off."
4. Ice cream lies
5. Terrified of Chuck E. Cheese
6. How to save money on batteries
"'They don't sell replacement batteries for that toy' has officially been added to my rotation."
7. Religious lies
8. The watermelon lie
9. Classic gum lies
"My mom used to tell me that when I swallowed gum, it would stay in my stomach for 10 years."
"My dad told me if I swallowed chewing gum, I would blow a bubble in my pants if I farted."
10. Seasonal TV
11. Tooth Fairy's sense of smell
12. The angry penguin
13. Rainbow betta
14. Planetary pears
15. Penny Elaine
- People are mortified to find out how many moms daydream about being hospitalized ›
- modern families - Upworthy ›
- What habitual liars should know about their brains. ›
- Millennial shares the lies that every kid's parents told them in the '90s - Upworthy ›
- 25 ways parents have proven that little acts of love speak volumes for kids - Upworthy ›
- Child neurologist explains the reason children lie, and it's surprisingly wholesome - Upworthy ›







A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 



An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.