A child taking piano lessons and Dr. Becky Kennedy
When you’re a parent, few things feel better than telling your kids, “Good job!” or “Well done” when they complete an art project, get a good grade, or make their bed correctly. So, what could be wrong with a little positive enforcement? According to Dr. Becky Kennedy, “Good job” is a conversation-ender that can prevent kids from getting the full, confidence-building benefits of their accomplishments.
Dr. Becky is a child psychologist, the bestselling author of “Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Resilient Parenting Prioritizing Connection Over Correction,” and the mother of 3 kids. She addressed how to correctly praise kids for their accomplishments on the December 27, 2024 episode of “The Tim Ferriss Show.” “Say ‘Good job,’ It’s not going to do damage to your kid. I think there’s a lot we can unpack there. There’s deeper principles. What do kids really need when they have accomplishments?” she asked, adding that “Good job” is a “conversation-ender.”
How to raise confident kids
Dr. Becky adds that when parents say “Good job” and leave it at that, we are teaching them to “gaze out” for acceptance from others instead of “gazing in” on the process they used to accomplish their task. By conditioning kids to look to others for acceptance, whether it’s their parents, teachers, or future boss or spouse, we create a world where they’re looking for external validation. This leads to anxiety and “makes you very empty and very fragile, very, very anxious,” Dr. Becky said.
Instead, Dr. Becky suggests that parents lean in and ask their child about the process it took to create that piece of art or clean their room. This helps the child develop greater self-confidence and focus more on their process the next time they put their mind to accomplishing something. She says a great place to start is to ask process questions such as: “Oh, how did you come up with that topic? Oh, what made you start it that way? Oh, what was it like writing that?”
The child psychologist says that initially, it may feel uncomfortable to ask probing questions. “Once you get started, it’s easier,” Dr. Becky said. “And yes, it actually focuses on what’s more in a kid’s control. And then, setting up your kids to feel good about themselves, even if they’re not always getting 100, is just such a massive privilege. And it actually makes them work harder because they’re focused on their effort and process instead of just on a result.”
A great way to think about how we praise children is how we would like to be treated by adults. If you worked in sales and had a great month, would you want your boss to simply say, “Good job” or would you like them to dig deeper into how you honed your sales process so that you could improve? It’s a great confidence booster when we can tell people how we’ve gone above and beyond or found new solutions to old problems.
Dr. Becky also uses the example of visiting someone’s house who recently redecorated. “I go, ‘Oh, I love your house. Good job.’ It’s actually a conversation-ender,” Dr. Becky said. “But if instead I said, ‘How did you pick that color wall with that couch?’ You would, ‘Oh, okay, well let me tell you, and let me show you my Pinterest board,’ or whatever it was. And even if I never said a good job, I bet you would feel more lit up inside and almost better than if I had just ended the conversation that way.”
Ultimately, instilling confidence in children is about more than acknowledging the results of their actions. It’s about asking them to explain their process, curiosity, and effort. We can instill resilience and confidence by asking questions and allowing them to express their deeper connection to their work. There’s nothing wrong with praising a good job, but the real confidence building comes with a meaningful conversation about how they made it happen.
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Resurfaced video of French skier's groin incident has people giving the announcer a gold medal
"The boys took a beating on that one."
Downhill skiing is a sport rife with injuries, but not usually this kind.
A good commentator can make all the difference when watching sports, even when an event goes smoothly. But it's when something goes wrong that great announcers rise to the top. There's no better example of a great announcer in a surprise moment than when French skier Yannick Bertrand took a gate to the groin in a 2007 super-G race.
Competitive skiers fly down runs at incredible speeds, often exceeding 60 mph. Hitting something hard at that speed would definitely hurt, but hitting something hard with a particularly sensitive part of your body would be excruciating. So when Bertrand slammed right into a gate family-jewels-first, his high-pitched scream was unsurprising. What was surprising was the perfect commentary that immediately followed.
This is a clip you really just have to see and hear to fully appreciate:
- YouTube youtu.be
It's unclear who the announcer is, even after multiple Google inquiries, which is unfortunate because that gentleman deserves a medal. The commentary gets better with each repeated viewing, with highlights like:
"The gate the groin for Yannick Bertrand, and you could hear it. And if you're a man, you could feel it."
"Oh, the Frenchman. Oh-ho, monsieurrrrrr."
"The boys took a beating on that one."
"That guy needs a hug."
"Those are the moments that change your life if you're a man, I tell you what."
"When you crash through a gate, when you do it at high rate of speed, it's gonna hurt and it's going to leave a mark in most cases. And in this particular case, not the area where you want to leave a mark."
Imagine watching a man take a hit to the privates at 60 mph and having to make impromptu commentary straddling the line between professionalism and acknowledging the universal reality of what just happened. There are certain things you can't say on network television that you might feel compelled to say. There's a visceral element to this scenario that could easily be taken too far in the commentary, and the inherent humor element could be seen as insensitive and offensive if not handled just right.
The announcer nailed it. 10/10. No notes.
The clip frequently resurfaces during the Winter Olympic Games, though the incident didn't happen during an Olympic event. Yannick Bertrand was competing at the FIS World Cup super-G race in Kvitfjell, Norway in 2007, when the unfortunate accident occurred. Bertrand had competed at the Turin Olympics the year before, however, coming in 24th in the downhill and super-G events.
As painful as the gate to the groin clearly as, Bertrand did not appear to suffer any damage that kept him from the sport. In fact, he continued competing in international downhill and super-G races until 2014.
According to a 2018 study, Alpine skiing is a notoriously dangerous sport with a reported injury rate of 36.7 per 100 World Cup athletes per season. Of course, it's the knees and not the coin purse that are the most common casualty of ski racing, which we saw clearly in U.S. skier Lindsey Vonn's harrowing experiences at the 2026 Olympics. Vonn was competing with a torn ACL and ended up being helicoptered off of the mountain after an ugly crash that did additional damage to her legs, requiring multiple surgeries (though what caused the crash was reportedly unrelated to her ACL tear). Still, she says she has no regrets.
As Bertrand's return to the slopes shows, the risk of injury doesn't stop those who live for the thrill of victory, even when the agony of defeat hits them right in the rocks.