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Employment lawyer reveals the four text messages you should never send to a coworker

When it comes down to it, they're there to make money.

employee; employment law; work friends; work bestie; coworker boundaries; work boundaries; work life balance
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Employment lawyer reveals 4 texts to never send a coworker

It's not uncommon for people to have a "work bestie" or "work spouse." Often, people spend a lot of their waking hours at work, so they're bound to feel like they've made true friendships with their coworkers. Before too long, numbers get exchanged, and they find themselves venting after hours about work, but this may not be a good thing.

Ed Hones is an employment attorney in Seattle, Washington, and he is not only discouraging coworkers from thinking of each other as friends, but also sharing what texts people should never send their colleagues. As an employment lawyer, Hones sees the legal fallout of the lines between friends and coworkers being blurred. Though he isn't saying people can't text their coworkers, he lists four specific types of texts to never send in case of a lawsuit.

"I see great cases destroyed every single day from one thing: old text messages," Hones reveals. "You might think that your text thread with your coworker is a safe space to vent, joke, or even scheme, but let me be clear about this one thing: it is not. In the eyes of the law, those text messages are evidence, and if you ever have to sue your employer for something, defense attorneys will find a way to get those text messages and destroy your credibility and tank your case."

employee; employment law; work friends; work bestie; coworker boundaries; work boundaries; work life balance Smiling at work, checking messages during a break.Photo credit: Canva

Of course, no one plans to sue their employer or to have their employer sue them, but sometimes things happen that result in lawsuits. Once a lawsuit is filed, discovery often follows, which means phone records and other device communications can be requested. If you've been trash-talking your boss or making egregious claims, you may be stuck having to explain it in court. But avoid sending these four texts, and you won't have to worry about your employer finding something to use against you in a lawsuit.

1. Asking a coworker to bend the rules

Hones explains that this often happens in the form of asking someone to clock you in or initial a form they forgot to complete. It may be something you think everyone does every once in a while at their place of employment, but sending a text message is documenting the request. Explicitly asking a coworker to break this employment policy can result in termination being justified. The employment attorney implores people to avoid doing it completely.

employee; employment law; work friends; work bestie; coworker boundaries; work boundaries; work life balance Man focused on his phone screen, deep in thought.Photo credit: Canva

2. Awkwardly acknowledging something inappropriate

"Here is the scenario," Hones says. "A coworker or supervisor texts you something inappropriate. Maybe it's a dirty joke or a comment about your private life, or medical condition. It makes you uncomfortable, but you have to see this person at the office tomorrow, and you don't want to make it awkward, so you reply with an LOL, laughing emoji, or a thumbs up. But if you send that text, you're walking into a legal trap called "The Unwelcome Standard.'" This means that if this behavior turns into harassment or creates a hostile environment, legally, it can be seen as being acceptable due to responses to inappropriate texts in the past.

3. Texting about job hunting

It's not uncommon for frustration to boil over and result in someone declaring they're going to start looking for a new job. Not every text or annoyed utterance about needing to find different employment is serious. Sometimes it is about blowing off steam, but other times it's truthful. Hones says not to let your employer be the one to decipher the difference in a court of law, because it may not work out in your favor. It could reduce an employee's lost wages claims, eliminate the ability to claim work conditions that resulted in an abrupt resignation, and even result in the company pushing an employee out if the text is revealed before they resign.

4. Talking trash about your boss or company

"We all need to vent, but doing it via text message hands the employer the perfect cover story," says Hones. This comes into play when an employee sues for discrimination or wrongful termination. According to the employment lawyer, if an employee sues for one of those reasons, the burden shifts to the employer to prove they didn't fire the employee for an illegal reason. If the employer discovers the negative texts about them, then it could give legitimacy to their claims if they have lied about the reasons someone was terminated. Hones says it's common for employers to lie in these cases by saying the employee was disrespectful or a bad employee, and texts trash-talking the boss would strengthen their argument.

employee; employment law; work friends; work bestie; coworker boundaries; work boundaries; work life balance Focused multitasking at the office.Photo credit: Canva

Hones explains in another video that it's not wise to assume your coworker-turned-friend will have your back in an employment investigation. Often, people need their jobs and are unwilling to risk them to help someone else keep theirs. Becoming overly familiar with a coworker may feel genuine and comfortable, but maintaining certain boundaries will help protect you legally should you ever have to sue your employer.

"Work relationships do not necessarily have to be friendly to be healthy," Dr. Maya Reynolds, MD, MPH, Psychiatrist and Behavioral Health Spokesperson at Choice Point Health, explains to Upworthy. "Keeping personal relationships and work relationships separated keeps a person free from additional emotional entanglement, rivalry, and disappointment. Because when work relationships step into personal life, promotions or disagreements can feel personal rather than professional, which brings a great emotional toll on oneself. Also, maintaining boundaries at work promotes your psychological safety."

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Schools

Another school district just shifted to a 4-day week and parents are making themselves heard

America already has fewer school days than most other countries.

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Many school districts are moving to a 4-day week, but there are pros and cons to the approach.

American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries as it is, which poses a big challenge for families with two working parents. In a system designed for the "classic" stay-at-home mom model, it's difficult for many modern families to cover childcare and fulfill their work obligations during the many, many holidays and extra days off American children receive in school.

Some school districts, in fact, are ready to take things one step further with even fewer instructional days: for better or for worse.

Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently made news when it decided to enact a four-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes many parents break out in stress hives, but this four-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? For starters, the pay is bad—but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So, they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools—starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in four-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the four-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media platforms are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the four-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

A study of schools in Iowa that had reduced instructional days found that five-days-a-week students performed better, on average.

Four-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. Of course—"school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we we work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a four-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

kids, school, school days, school week, schedule, 4 day week In a 4-day model, kids often (but not always) receive less instructional time. Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working five-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. Adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal according to expert recommendations.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working four days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

@5th_with_ms.y

Replying to @emory here are my thoughts on my 4day work week as a teacher✨ #foryou #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage #foryoupageofficiall #teachersoftiktokfyp #teachersoftiktok #teachertok #teachersbelike #teachertiktok #tik #tiktok #viralllllll #teachertoks #teaching #teacher #tok #viralvideo #teacherlife #viral #trendy #teacher #teaching #worklifebalance #worklife #publicschool #publiceducation #school #student

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified five-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art—you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

In any case, the debate over a shortened school week is not going away any time soon. More districts across the country are doing their research in preparation for potentially making the switch.

Many parents don't theoretically mind the idea of their busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. They're also usually in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a four-day work week as the standard, the four-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

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Xennials share the best life lessons they've learned from their Boomer parents

"I learned how to budget, survive on a poverty level income, and persevere no matter what is thrown at me."

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Photo credit: Canva

Xennials share the best life advice that their Boomer parents gave them.

Xennials (those born 1977 to 1983) are a microgeneration between Gen X (those born 1965 to 1980) and Millennials (those born 1981 to 1996). These late '70s and early '80s babies were mostly raised by Baby Boomer parents (born 1946 to 1964) who taught them lots of positive life lessons that have stuck with them.

In a discussion among Xennials on Reddit, one posed the question: "What do you think was your best lesson learned by being raised by Boomers?"

Fellow Xennials shared their open and honest answers about the good their Boomer parents instilled in them. These are 15 things they appreciate having learned from their Boomer parents:

xennial, xennials, xennial life lessons, boomer parents, boomer mom Xennial woman with her Boomer mother.Photo credit: Canva

"My parents were born in the late 40s. I got the same indoctrination to only show calm. And you know what? It has worked out for me. I feel the feels, but I have the mental equipment to only show the calm. I think this is actually a benefit of our upbringing." - FastWalkingShortGuy

"My parents were both born in ‘48. They have always been fairly liberal, artsy types. The best thing I learned from them is that racism, sexism and homophobia is wrong and we should all actively work to make the world a better place. Also, that societal expectations are arbitrary and that you should carve your own path and be yourself." - Public-Grocery-8183

"My dad worked harder than I ever have. He literally worked 24 hours days when it would snow. Worked his regular job for 12 hours, then snow removal all night long. Before the sun was up, he was back at his regular job. I'm so glad I don't have to do that. I feel terrible all the times I kept him up at night with my videos games or other youthful bullsh*t. It gave me a work ethic like no other. If you want to own your own business, it's best if you don't have any 'quit' in you." - 86400spd

"Good: Mom and dad can both work full time and still cook a healthy and good dinner for the fam every night." - Verbull710

"I was born in ‘79 (mom 1955 and dad 1949 so both boomers). The best thing I learned from then was to not make excuses and be independent. They were not neglectful but they weren’t helicopter parents and let me suffer the consequences of my actions when I messed up." - Creative-Tomatillo

"A couple come to mind: Rely on yourself. Don’t expect anyone else to figure things out for you. And balanced meals, how to garden." - mel060

xennial, xennials, xennial adult children, boomer parent, boomer parents A Xennial son spends time with his Baby Boomer parent.Photo credit: Canva

"Boomer parents taught me about cool hippie era counter culture stuff and gave me a leg up on having music, literature, and film nerd cred." - User Unknown

"I learned how to budget, survive on a poverty level income, and persevere no matter what is thrown at me. I was taught to fix things rather than replace when possible." - Economy_Dog5080

"Learning to suck things up and move on rather than dwelling on them. I think they probably took it farther than they should with that, but as I see gen Z being kind of ruled by their trauma (and don't get me wrong, I love gen z), I'm glad I learned to just deal with stuff and press on when I need to. That and not micromanaging my kid- boomers were pretty hands off parents and while it wasn't perfect, I do think it's much better than the helicopter parenting of today." - Myrtle_Snow_

"My parents very much taught me how to do things for myself. I knew how to fix the minor things on my car, basic plumbing, electric, obviously I could mow a lawn and grow some plants. They taught me to cook more than just the bare bones, but tasty stuff. I could do laundry the right way. And my mom actually took time to teach me how to learn. Back in the day you needed to know how to use encyclopedias and librarians. She told me I needed to know how to ask the right questions to learn what was necessary. I think they did a great job with these." - esignIntelligent456

xennial, xennial microgeneration, xennials, baby boomer parent, boomer parent A Xennial son goofs around with his Baby Boomer dad.Photo credit: Canva

"My parents are both 1956, def Boomers. They are pretty frugal and taught me to never be wasteful, which actually they got from their parents and passed down. My mom was a huge fan of garage sales, shopping for our clothes and toys and stuff and then having sales and selling the same stuff after we were done with it. Then in order to get the most money when reselling we had to take care of the stuff so we could sell it so that taught us to take care of everything we had. I hated it then and found it embarrassing, especially when we went into someone’s garage and it was like a kid from my school sitting there. But now I freaking love going to find treasures. Haha. They also taught me to save money. When I was a kid I hated getting 'money for college' for Christmas and birthdays but when they were able to pay all of the tuition for me without any loans I knew I wanted to do the same for my kids." - JumboThornton

"Life is hard, don’t give up. My pops was pretty sick, had a stroke, seizures, and was an amputee. He lived way longer than he should have apparently and he refused to let that shit define him. My mom showed me that when you really love someone, nothing gets in the way. My dad got sick like 2 years after they married and they loved each other until the day he died. So, she showed me how strong love can be. She also told me to punch my bully in the nose as hard as I can, that way he will tear up and it will definitely leave him hurting lol." - Intelligent-Invite79

"Life is not fair. My dad preached that to me and it may be painful, but true. You dint get 'participation trophies' in life!" - SafetyNo6700

"How to spend money responsibly. I don’t actually need everything." - Demon_Eater12345

"My parents were huge on respect. They taught me to respect others and think before I speak. It even went so far as to consider how others might take what I say based on their perspective, religion, experience, etc. Now, 45 years later, I need to teach them the same lessons they taught me." - truthcopy

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In 1969, the Monkees appeared on The Johnny Cash Show and played a stunning, original country song

"Nine Times Blue" is a jaw dropping intersection of craftsmanship and pure talent.

the monkees, nume times blue, monkees live, monkees country, johnny cash show
via Colleen Gruver/YouTube

The Monkees perform on "The Johnny Cash Show."

The great debate about The Monkees is whether they were a real band or just a group of actors thrown together for a TV show. The answer is yes. They were actors cast to play an American version of The Beatles, and many of their early songs were written by big-time professional songwriters such as Tommy Boyce, Bobby Hart, Neil Diamond, Carole King, and Gerry Goffin.

However, The Monkees would pick up their own instruments, play on the 1967 Headquarters album, and perform as a live band on sold-out tours. After a resurgence in the '80s, the band enjoyed a lucrative career as a legacy act, with various members continuing to perform as The Monkees until Michael Nesmith died in 2021. Nesmith, originally a country singer from Dallas, Texas, wrote several of The Monkees' hits, including "Mary, Mary," "Papa Gene's Blues," "The Girl I Knew Somewhere," and "Listen to the Band," and was a driving force in the group being taken seriously as musicians.



By the summer of 1969, The Monkees' TV series was off the air, and the affable Peter Tork had exited the group, citing exhaustion. The remaining three soldiered on, performing on The Johnny Cash Show to promote their latest album, Instant Replay. The band chose to perform "Nine Times Blue," a country song written by Nesmith that he had demoed at the time but wouldn't be released until he recorded it as a solo artist in 1970.

The performance is a wonderful reminder that The Monkees were great comedic actors and accomplished musicians. Davy Jones and Micky Dolenz do a fantastic job singing harmonies on the chorus, while Nesmith plays some nice fills on his Gibson acoustic.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Later in the show, The Monkees joined Cash for a performance of his 1966 novelty song, "Everybody Loves a Nut," which perfectly suited the band's comedic sensibilities. Two weeks after the release, Cash scored one of his biggest hits with "A Boy Named Sue," recorded live at San Quentin prison.

A few months later, Nesmith left The Monkees to pursue a country-rock career, first with the seminal group The First National Band, which scored a Top 40 hit with "Joanne" from the album Magnetic South.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Although Nesmith's country-rock albums of the '70s were moderately successful, he was still overshadowed, as a musician, by The Monkees' towering success and subsequent downfall. In the '70s, it wasn't easy for Nesmith to get the respect he was due as a country artist. But in the years leading up to his death in 2021, Nesmith's work was reappraised, and he was seen as a brilliant songwriter who anticipated the rise of alt-country.

The Monkees hold a complicated place in rock 'n' roll history. While some see them as a prefabricated band assembled to cash in on The Beatles' success, others recognize them as talented musicians brought together under bizarre circumstances who forged their own path and created something fresh and innovative, only earning proper respect years later.

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Wellness

A man's bathroom emergency forced his partner out of the shower. Cue the online debate.

"Dude, no. I'll just close the shower curtain and you can go"

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Photo credit: Canva, Ariwasabi (left, cropped) / pixelshot (right, cropped)

The story of an emergency poop and a shower dilemma sparked an online debate.

One couple, one toilet, one digestive emergency, and a half-finished shower. For anyone who values poop-time privacy, it's hard to imagine a more awkward combo. Someone recently shared how they handled that exact scenario, sparking an online debate about bathroom decorum and, by extension, whether couples should be comfortable pooping in each other's company.

In a viral thread on Reddit, the OP said they arrived home and told their boyfriend they were taking a "quick shower." But as soon as they started shampooing, their partner walked in and announced an urgent poop emergency. "I respond 'Dude, no. I'll just close the shower curtain and you can go,'" they replied. "To which he responds 'Are you serious?!? You gotta get out!' To which I'm like, 'Dude, are YOU seriously asking me to get out of the shower right now?'"

bathroom, shower, toilet, sink A modern bathroom. Photo by 99.films on Unsplash

The context here is crucial. The Redditor said they've lived together for more than two years and are "pretty [comfortable] with each other but definitely not to the point of pooping in front of each other."

Their boyfriend has IBS, so bathroom urgency is a serious issue for him: "When he's gotta go, he's gotta go." But the OP noted that their home is very cold and heated with a wood stove. "I hadn't gotten the fire going yet so was just standing freezing and dripping and shampoo-haired outside the bathroom waiting for him to s---," they added. "This is obviously not THAT big of a deal but like…am I crazy thinking that it's a wild ask to make ur partner leave mid shower so you can take a dump?"

The post went viral, and many comments appeared to side with the boyfriend, citing general privacy concerns as well as his IBS.

"I've been married over 20 years and we still give each other privacy to poop"

"Ngl I wouldn't want to be in the shower while someone was actively s----ing in the same room, but maybe that's me."

"op even said he has IBS. Bro is fighting demons in there"

"I have [Crohn's]. If my wife had to vacate the shower every time I unexpectedly needed the toilet, she'd be shaving her head."

"Sometimes when I s--- I don't even want to be in there"

"I’ve been married over 20 years and we still give each other privacy to poop. Multiple bathrooms do help. IBS adds a whole level of complexity to this scenario. It's urgent, and often very unpleasant both in sound/smell and he's probably embarrassed enough by it as it is. This was a case of really bad timing. If it happens again, rinse out the shampoo and get out ASAP - although you're majorly inconvenienced, he's got an actual emergency."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I am not leaving that water till the shampoo is rinsed and conditioner is applied and rinsed. Period."

But there were plenty of other perspectives.

"This is so weird to me. I don't share a bathroom while my husband s---s if I can reasonably avoid it, but if I've just put in shampoo and he's got to GO, then we're just going to have to handle business at the same time. I'm not leaving the bathroom soapy and cold because he can't poop with an audience. It's just f---ing bodily functions, I'm not that precious and neither is he. IBS wouldn't change that. It's not ideal, but he'd never ask me to be physically uncomfortable because he was emotionally uncomfortable. Edit: to be clear, I'll rush the shower. Skip shaving and other unnecessary steps. Shorten the post shower routine or fully push it back. But I am not leaving that water till the shampoo is rinsed and conditioner is applied and rinsed. Period."

"Completely wild. As much as I gotta poop (also in same boat with the IBS) if I'm kicking everyone out every time I do, nothing would ever get done. Nobody else can shower or use the shower to pee or my ol lady would never be able to get ready for work. Thats insane IMO."

"I had an ex with IBS, it was bad. But I know how to just not use my nose in horribly smelly situations. I'd rush, for his comfort, but I wouldn't bail, covered in soap."

"IBS emergencies are real and when someone says they have to go, they usually mean right now. That said, asking someone to step out of the shower soaking wet in a freezing house is also pretty rough and understandably frustrating."

"I'm 12 years in and have never once done that with my husband in the room or vice versa"

Naturally, some comments diverged from the original story and focused more on the idea of pooping in the same room as your partner.

"Honestly I’m more fascinated by how many spouses poop in front of each other. I’m 12 years in and have never once done that with my husband in the room or vice versa. I didn’t realise it was such a common thing!"

"I'm surprised how many people are appalled by the idea 🤣 we have full blown conversations while pooping daily. If it's especially stinky I'll vacate, but otherwise it's not a big deal at all."

"I dump in front of my husband all the time lol. And vice versa. Just turn on the fan. Oh and we have three bathrooms haha!"

Bathroom etiquette is complex. In a 2025 Reddit thread, people debated whether or not a "courtesy flush" is expected at someone else's house. Some argued it's the decent thing to do, while others doubted its effectiveness or disliked the idea because of water waste.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Friendship

Man who was mistakenly added to a group chat shares the moment he knew they'd be lifelong friends

"Now I know some pretty dope people."

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Photo Credit: Kendrick Constant

Kendrick Constant and Brent Milner attend a baseball game.

It was just one of those things: someone transposed two numbers, causing a ripple effect that changed the lives of total strangers.

In a popular Instagram Reel, a man named Kendrick Constant AKA "The New Guy" writes, "7 years ago I was added to a group chat by mistake…but there are no coincidences." He explained that, due to a number being incorrectly added on WhatsApp, he began receiving texts from complete strangers more than twice his age. They had been planning a party, and one after another, the texts came rolling in. Finally, he decided to pull a little gag.

The Reel continues with a screenshot of the group text where its members were all reminiscing about a "great dinner party." One even writes, "Feel more karaoke in our future together with the extended PC family. Next time, Tony picks the song and we bring Mimi's drums. I'll run down a kazoo or maybe a snare drum. On a serious note, one of the best night's I've had in Park City. Great friends with the Miners in common."

Finally, Constant chimes in. "I'm glad to hear your friendship is so strong and you had a great night. Happy birthday! Unfortunately, I believe I was mistakenly added to the group chat, or maybe the van forgot to pick me up." He then adds his face into their group photo and, well, now the friendship has officially been seeded.

Someone on the thread spots the photo edit and writes, "No way, is that our new CT friend in the second pic? Welcome!" Constant responds, "See you at the next one." The group begins calling him "The New Guy" and soon enough, he's officially part of the gang. He becomes especially close to a man named Brent Milner, who even asks him to make a video for his wife's 50th birthday. Constant is enthusiastically up for the task.

Cut to: the friendship keeps building and a few months later, it was time to meet up and play some music. Constant happens to play drums, and we see some snapshots of their fabulous band in a jam session.

Milner and Constant's friendship grew stronger, and when Milner's son Beck got accepted into Yale, Constant would join to support him at baseball games. The Reel ends with a screenshot of Brent's message, "Can't call him New Guy anymore. Kendrick is part of the Milner family now, thanks to a one transposition number of Paul's wife, Leia!"

Group chat, dinner party, Kendrick Constant, Brent Milner, photoshop Kendrick Constant photoshops himself into a group photo. Photo Credit: Kendrick Constant

Upworthy had a chance to chat with Constant, who told us there were over 40 text messages before he responded. "At first, I thought it was a normal group chat that I was supposed to be in. Then the next day I started reading through and I realized none of the names matched anyone I knew."

When asked what his first indication was that they were likely to become real friends, Constant shares it was their willingness to immediately go with the joke. "They went along with the banter when they said, 'See you at the 60th!' I was 23 at the time. Now my 30th is 15 days away. I'm expecting a video of them missing this evasive party bus."

We also spoke with Milner, who answers the same question abour how he "knew" they'd be pals. "How could you not want to know the young man who took the time to photoshop himself into the group after his sincere attempt to just let us know he was mistakenly added? His effort was simply just too funny to us to be ignored and he gave us an out and we didn't want it! However, in earnest it could have simply run its course had there not been a follow-up birthday party for my wife a few months later. When Kendrick video’d himself missing the bus on a snowy day (the group he entered all live in Park City), I simply felt I wanted to meet him in person, which was going to be possible that summer."

This is when they played music. As for how the jam band session came about, Milner explains that the band is simply a "group of friends interested in music who would play and sing together on vacation." He adds, "I asked him if he played any instruments or sang, he said he did and could play the drums. We gave him the date and the time and he showed up after work and the rest is history. Performance went great."

Kendrick Constant and friends have a jam band session. www.youtube.com, Kendrick Constant

Constant shares that he feels his life was altered because of this happy accident. "I mean younger was me was always open-minded and had a heart for people. Life can be challenging and beat you up along the way. This allowed me to continue to be open in the moments where I wasn't sure or hesitant. Its natural to be a skeptic, its wise to use good judgment in how vulnerable to be. However, staying good despite it all is a sign of strength and resilience that I recognize. Its a familiar feeling that I felt with the Milners."

Milner, like Constant, feels the friendship has truly improved his life. "I really enjoy having Kendrick in my life. We can talk about a range of topics and I have enjoyed his perspective. Beck (Milner's son) is 7-8 years younger than Kendrick and he is my oldest so I have enjoyed Kendrick’s perspective as a young adult and watching him navigate career changes and finding what makes him happy and motivated. I’ve also watched he and Beck blossom into a real friendship that has been fun to witness. I continue to appreciate Kendrick’s humor but also his character and his passions. He sometimes calls me a 'mentor.' I tell him that makes me feel old so I like 'friends.'"

Constant adds, "Brent has taught me a lot, made me more self aware and a better person and professional as a financial advisor. Our stance on topics aren't the same all the time, but we can agree to disagree from our different walks of life. Beck, his son, and I clicked better than I have with people I have known for over a decade. Its awesome that our relationship is real and has now spanned multiple generations."

Milner was pretty shocked by the virality of the moment. "I have actually been amazed at the online response. I am old so I don’t have any social media presence beyond what my children show me–witness that I call it a “distribution” not a group chat. I tried to tell Kendrick that I felt 'distribution' meant useful information being provided for a purpose and group chat meant an ongoing conversation. He responded that 40 texts implies a conversation."

Kendrick Constant, friendship, group chat, Beck, family, the Milner family Kendrick Constant has dinner with his friend Beck.Photo Credit: Kendrick Constant

He adds, "Humans seem to be getting lost in today’s world of divided echo chambers and divisions of non-substantive issues for which neither party is even close to an expert, and yet, people divide. At this point, Kendrick and I have covered a lot of ground from socio-economics, age-diversity, religion, and politics as examples. We don’t agree on every point but we learn from each other every time we talk deeply about our perspectives. When we both leaned into this we had no idea what was going to come of it nor did we care what the divisive markers were. It just seemed like we could learn and benefit from knowing each other and that is what we did. I wish we were closer and could see each other more but he and Beck have picked up that ball as they are not far from each other. Somehow, I think people can sense an old fashion friendship built here in the length of this relationship and the randomness of this story. "

Constant also shares that the story has inspired others. "People keep telling me it made them text someone they hadn’t talked to in years, or that they want to be added to the group chat. That the story made them cry, restored their faith in humanity. Its a great story and if it nudges people to be a little more open and human."

He adds that Brent has given him solid advice for the last many years. "Brent told me to be yourself and you will gravitate toward like-minded people. So it encouraged me to be truly authentic, embrace my individuality. Now I know some pretty dope people."

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