+
upworthy
Health

There are actually 5 different types of imposter syndrome and each one feels a bit different

imposter syndrome

I'm a moose! I swear!

The term “imposter syndrome” is pretty commonplace in mental health circles. At first glance, the concept is simple: it’s that super fun (not) anxiety you get when success knocks at your door. You know, when someone tells you “good job!” and what you somehow hear instead is “you’re a fraud and I see right through you!” Just a bout of low self esteem, right? Eh, not so much.

As it turns out, imposter syndrome is a lot more complex and nuanced than that.

In her book “The Secret Thought of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It” Dr. Valerie Young uncovered that when it comes to feelings of inadequacy, there isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are actually, five, count 'em, five, different types of imposter syndrome … ready to knock us down a peg in the blink of an eye.

While it might be overwhelming to discover your “competence type,” as Dr. Young calls them—or hey, maybe you’ll be like me and realize you’re a bit of all five—recognizing it can be really helpful for identifying what’s holding your mojo back. As they say, knowing is half the battle.

Something worth noting: Despite the (very long) title suggesting that this is primarily a female issue, the author herself notes that men also come up against imposter syndrome. In fact, though experts formerly believed it was experienced mostly by women, that has proven to not be the case. In fact, under some circumstances, men might be more likely to feel it. Long story short: Everyone can benefit from this information.

Let’s break down those five types:


1. The Perfectionist

via GIPHY

Can the Type A, Overachiever, Micromanager Control Freaks please raise their hand? It’s OK, you’re welcome here.

For the Perfectionist, life is about setting excessively high, next-to-impossible standards for themselves. And then when inevitable failure comes along (again, impossible goals), that leaves the Perfectionist beating themselves up. Even the smallest error in a performance can suddenly morph into something huge. And from that point on, it’s the only thing that matters.

Perfectionism is its own brand of double-edged sword, as the fear of failure causes a hyperfocus on what might just be small details. And that can go one of two ways: overworking or procrastinating. Neither are very fun. And neither build confidence.

2. The Superwoman/man

Just listen to the lyrics of Encanto’s “Surface Pressure” and you’ll get a quick understanding of what this one means.

To be a Superwoman/man means feeling like you must excel in every role of your life. Having to be the best spouse, the best parent and the best worker—all at the same time. Cause, who needs a healthy work-life balance? Not Superhumans!

People pleasing and Superhumaning go hand in hand, because the need to impress and “do good” is of the utmost priority. A day in the life of a Superwoman/man might involve saying yes to every request, neglecting hobbies and juggling plates to the point of burnout. But, of course, this comes at a cost, because at the end of the day no matter how super we are, we are still undeniably human.

3. The Natural Genius

If at first you don’t succeed … then don’t bother trying again because clearly you don’t have a natural gift for it.

Those who believe in Natural Genius subscribe to the idea that if something isn’t easy, then it isn’t a natural talent. And therefore, if you must work hard at something, you must not be very good at it. People must be born talented or skilled. Setbacks aren’t just setbacks, they’re bona fide stop signs. This can make life very frustrating, as hobbies keep getting switched, a scroll through social media thwarts all hope and opportunities for growth are missed simply because they are challenging.

The Natural Genius type might look like a symptom of laziness at first glance, but really, it’s another form of judging ourselves harshly. With such ridiculously high expectations, our confidence has nowhere to go but down.

4. The Soloist

via GIPHY

There’s no “I” in “TEAM,” but that’s OK because you don’t need a team anyway. You’ve got it all covered and don’t need any help. After all, needing others is clearly a sign of weakness … right?

Where independence is a valuable strength, the Soloist takes it to the nth degree. When you turn down assistance as a means to prove your worth and refuse to take any credit if you did receive any assistance … then you, my friend, might be a Soloist.

5. The Expert

via GIPHY

To the Expert, there is no greater defeat than having to utter those three little words.

I. Don’t. Know.

Because to this type, self-worth is directly linked with having as much knowledge and as many skills as possible. Learning as you go? Nah. Feeling ashamed when you come upon a question you can’t answer? Yes, please.

For the Expert, life is about striving for more. More courses, more training, more certifications. And yet still feeling like you just don’t quite have a handle on it all yet. Often Experts are held back from going after jobs they are already well qualified for, simply because they’re convinced they haven’t learned enough.

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

If imposter syndrome comes in many shapes and sizes, then it’s no surprise there's no be-all-end-all solution for it. A lot of it comes down to directly facing your fears and taking small steps (baby steps, even) toward a different outcome.

Here are a few ideas:

Celebrate any and all wins. Even the small ones.

Take a piece of paper and write it all out. Did you move at all today? Check. Brushed your teeth twice? Gold star for you. Writing out small successes might give you the validation kick that your little heart has been seeking.

Use your words.

Are you a perfectionist? Try the affirmation “Done is better than perfect.” A Soloist? How about “Receiving help allows me to be the best version of myself?” It’s a small gesture of self-love that really can help reframe our thoughts over time.

Stop scrolling.

If you find yourself looking at influencers, celebrities and teenagers showcasing their best moments and suddenly feeling inferior, then give yourself a digital detox. You might find a lot of extra time on your hands to put directly into building yourself up.

Seek the help of an expert.

This could be a mastermind group, a career coach or a therapist. Or, it could be delegating a certain task to a professional, such as hiring a housekeeper or accountant. This is a great way to ask for help (you’re welcome, Soloists) in a way that’s constructive.

At the end of the day, it’s understandable that many of us feel like frauds. But this feeling can be alleviated through a little honesty, some self-care and allowing ourselves to be both flawed and deserving all at the same time.

If you’re interested in taking a quiz to further dive into which type best fits you, you can check that out here.

Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.


The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

Health

Her mother doesn't get why she's depressed. So she explains the best way she knows how.

Sabrina Benaim eloquently describes what it's like to be depressed.

Sabrina Benaim's “Explaining My Depression to My Mother."

Sabrina Benaim's “Explaining My Depression to My Mother" is pretty powerful on its own.

But, in it, her mother exhibits some of the most common misconceptions about depression, and I'd like to point out three of them here.

Misconception #1: Depression is triggered by a single event or series of traumatic events.

empathy, human condition, humanity

Depression isn’t just over sleeping.

Most people think depression is triggered by a traumatic event: a loved one dying, a job loss, a national tragedy, some THING. The truth is that depression sometimes just appears out of nowhere. So when you think that a friend or loved one is just in an extended bad mood, reconsider. They could be suffering from depression.

Misconception #2: People with depression are only sad.

family, parents, mom, anxiety

The obligation of anxiety.

Most people who have never experienced depression think depression is just an overwhelming sadness. In reality, depression is a complex set of feelings and physical changes in the body. People who suffer from depression are sad, yes, but they can also be anxious, worried, apathetic, and tense, among other things.

Misconception #3: You can snap out of it.

button poetry, medical condition, biological factors

Making fun plans not wanting to have fun.

The thing with depression is that it's a medical condition that affects your brain chemistry. It has to do with environmental or biological factors first and foremost. Sabrina's mother seems to think that if her daughter would only go through the motions of being happy that then she would become happy. But that's not the case. Depression is a biological illness that leaks into your state of being.

Think of it this way: If you had a cold, could you just “snap out of it"?

No? Exactly.

empathy, misconceptions of depression, mental health

Mom doesn’t understand.

via Button Poetry/YouTube

These are only three of the misconceptions about depression. If you know somebody suffering from depression, you should take a look at this video here below to learn the best way to talk to them:

This article originally appeared on 11.24.15

Here's how to be 30% more persuasive.

Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.

One group was asked, "Can you help clean?" The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?" The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”


Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

"It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, 'Can you be a leader?' Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to 'Be an innovator'? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use thgem skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”


This article originally appeared on 2.11.24

Pop Culture

A comic about wearing makeup goes from truthful to weird in 4 panels.

A hilariously truthful (and slightly weird) explanation of the "too much makeup" conundrum.

Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

A comic shows the evolution or devolution from with makeup to without.

Even though I don't wear very much makeup, every few days or so SOMEONE...

(friends, family, internet strangers)

...will weigh in on why I "don't need makeup."


Now, I realize this is meant as a compliment, but this comic offers a hilariously truthful (and slightly weird) explanation of the "too much makeup" conundrum.

social norms, social pressure, friendship, self esteem

“Why do you wear so much makeup?"

Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

passive aggressive, ego, confidence, beauty

“See, you look pretty without all that makeup on."

Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

expectations, beauty products, mascara, lipstick

“Wow you look tired, are you sick?"

Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

lizards, face-painting, hobbies, hilarious comic

When I shed my human skin...

Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

Not everyone is able to turn into a badass lizard when someone asks about their face-painting hobbies. Don't you kinda wish you could? Just to drive this hilarious comic all the way home, here are four reasons why some women* wear makeup:

*Important side note: Anyone can wear makeup. Not just women. True story.

Four reasons some women* wear makeup:

1. Her cat-eye game is on point.

mascara, eyes, confidence

Her cat-eye game is on point.

Via makeupproject.

2. She has acne or acne scars.

acne, cover up, scarring, medical health

She has acne or acne scars.

Via Carly Humbert.

3. Pink lipstick.

lipstick, beauty products, basics, self-expression

Yes, pink lipstick.

Via Destiny Godley

4. She likes wearing makeup.

appearance, enhancement, creative expression

Happy to be going out and feeling good.

Happy Going Out GIF by Much.

While some people may think putting on makeup is a chore, it can be really fun! For some, makeup is an outlet for creativity and self-expression. For others, it's just a way to feel good about themselves and/or enhance their favorite features.

That's why it feels kinda icky when someone says something along the lines of "You don't need so much makeup!" Now, it's arguable that no one "needs" makeup, but everyone deserves to feel good about the way they look.

For some people, feeling good about their appearance includes wearing makeup. And that's totally OK.


This article originally appeared on 05.28.15

Joy

Adorable 'Haka baby' dance offers a sweet window into Maori culture

Stop what you're doing and let this awesomeness wash over you.

If you've never seen a Maori haka performed, you're missing out.

The Maori are the indigenous peoples of New Zealand, and their language and customs are an integral part of the island nation. One of the most recognizable Maori traditions outside of New Zealand is the haka, a ceremonial dance or challenge usually performed in a group. The haka represents the pride, strength, and unity of a tribe and is characterized by foot-stamping, body slapping, tongue protrusions, and rhythmic chanting.

Haka is performed at weddings as a sign of reverence and respect for the bride and groom and are also frequently seen before sports competitions, such as rugby matches.



The intensity of the haka is the point. It is meant to be a show of strength and elicit a strong response—which makes seeing a tiny toddler learning to do it all the more adorable.

Here's an example of a rugby haka:

Danny Heke, who goes by @focuswithdan on TikTok, shared a video of a baby learning haka and omigosh it is seriously the most adorable thing. When you see most haka, the dancers aren't smiling—their faces are fierce—so this wee one starting off with an infectious grin is just too much. You can see that he's already getting the moves down, facial expressions and all, though.

@focuswithdan When you grow up learning haka! #haka #teachthemyoung #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp #foryou #kapahaka ♬ original sound - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

As cute as this video is, it's part of a larger effort by Heke to use his TikTok channel to share and promote Maori culture. His videos cover everything from the Te Reo Maori language to traditional practices to issues of prejudice Maori people face.

Here he briefly goes over the different body parts that make up haka:

@focuswithdan

♬ Ngati - Just2maori

This video explains the purerehua, or bullroarer, which is a Maori instrument that is sometimes used to call rains during a drought.

@focuswithdan Reply to @illumi.is.naughty Some tribes used this to call the rains during drought 🌧 ⛈ #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp ♬ Pūrerehua - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

This one shares a demonstration and explanation of the taiaha, a traditional Maori weapon.

@focuswithdan Reply to @shauncalvert Taiaha, one of the most formidable of the Māori Weaponry #taiaha #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp #foryou ♬ original sound - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

For another taste of haka, check out this video from a school graduation:

@focuswithdan When your little cuzzy graduates and her school honours her with a haka #maori #māori #haka #focuswithdan #fyp #graduation @its_keshamarley ♬ Te Kura Kaupapa Māori o Ngāti Ruanui - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

Heke even has some fun with the trolls and racists in the comments who try to tell him his culture is dead (what?).

@focuswithdan Credit to you all my AMAZING FOLLOWERS! #focuswithdan #maori #māori #followers #fyp #trolls ♬ original sound - sounds for slomo_bro!

Unfortunately, it's not just ignorant commenters who spew racist bile. A radio interview clip that aired recently called Maori people "genetically predisposed to crime, alcohol, and underperformance," among other terrible things. (The host, a former mayor of Auckland, has been let go for going along with and contributing to the caller's racist narrative.)

@focuswithdan #newzealand radio in 2021 delivering racist commentaries 🤦🏽‍♂️ #māori #maori #focuswithdan #racism DC: @call.me.lettie2.0 ♬ original sound - luna the unicow

That clip highlights why what Heke is sharing is so important. The whole world is enriched when Indigenous people like the Maori have their voices heard and their culture celebrated. The more we learn from each other and our diverse ways of life, the more enjoyable life on Earth will be and the better we'll get at collaborating to confront the challenges we all share.


This article originally appeared on 01.28.21