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You may suffer from 'impostor syndrome.' Lots of smart people with signs of high achievement do.

Sometimes it feels like you have to wait for some official entity's permission to do the work you feel called to do.

Lots of people have projects they've been sitting on.

For some people, it's legitimately because some thing they need to move forward has stalled or because they really do have too much on their plate to get to it.

But for many people, it's something else entirely. It's this gripping fear that can set in, making you doubt whether you have any place at all trying to do the work you feel called to do.


Putting yourself out there can be a real internal struggle. Image by Andrew Smith/Flickr.

Maybe it's a book you keep meaning to write. Maybe it's a class about a very specific subject matter you know about that you would like to teach. Maybe it's an art project you don't think anyone would take seriously. That obstacle is called "impostor syndrome."

I'm going to break down what it is here and give you two easy-to-remember steps that you can use to keep working on your project in spite of suffering from this fear.

There's a tension between what comes naturally and what we value.

As Carl Richards, The New York Times' "Sketch Guy," explains:

"Two American psychologists, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, gave it a name in 1978: the impostor syndrome. They described it as a feeling of 'phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement.' While these people 'are highly motivated to achieve,' they also 'live in fear of being "found out" or exposed as frauds.'"

Sometimes because a skill we have comes easily to us, we think it must not be that valuable. So when we try to pass it off as valuable, we think we must be fooling people.

Sketch by Carl Richards, used with permission.

Remember, what's easy to you may be really quite difficult for someone else, and that's why what you're good at has value. What's important is to try to see that fear for what it is and overcome it, even if just long enough to keep taking next steps with your work. And speaking of next steps:

There are pretty much two main steps to doing cool things.

I wish I could remember where I read this several years back because I'd love to give credit, but it's one of those things I can't seem to trace back (hit me up on Twitter if you know who coined these). But the tenets stuck with me at a time when I really needed to hear them. When you're feeling paralyzed by "impostor syndrome," it can be helpful to remember that there is a pretty simple process that nearly anyone who succeeds at anything has undertaken.

1. Create value.

Create something! It doesn't necessarily have to mean forging something out of raw materials in a crafty, artsy way. If you write, write. If you kick ass at connecting with people on social media, build a community. If you make amazing bagels, make them! If you sketch, sketch. If you have brilliant ideas for your neighborhood, start working on them. Making the crucial leap from thought to action is what's important.

2. Bring that value to the market.

Now here's the thing. "Market" implies you have to figure out how to monetize it. But that's not necessarily true. It can mean that, but it doesn't have to. Really, bringing the value you've created to "the market" just means getting it in front of people. Show it to people who are doing similar things, show it to people who might be able to benefit from it, show it to people who just might get joy out of it. You may figure out a way to monetize it, and hey, that's cool. Or you may just spark a new collaboration or open a door to some other next steps in doing whatever the thing is that you like doing.

Understanding impostor syndrome can be life-changing — hear Carl Richards discuss on his show, "Behavior Gap," the day he found out from his therapist that this feeling he was having had a name.

Richards learned how to look at his impostor syndrome as a friend and ultimately was able to manage it and make it work in his favor instead of stopping him from accomplishing his work.

With a little practice, I bet you and I could do the same.

Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


Health

Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?



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Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from the democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets.

But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly-heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. There is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper, according to health experts as well as the man who invented the toilet paper roll in the first place.

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According to her daughter, it was fitting tribute.

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Brielle Asero lost her job after 2 months.

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Some who saw the video thought that Asero came off as entitled and exemplified the younger generation’s lack of work ethic. In contrast, others sympathized with the young woman who is just beginning to understand how hard it is to find work-life balance in modern-day America.

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I told a kid a riddle my dad told me when I was 7. His answer proves how far we've come.

This classic riddle takes on new meaning as our world changes for the better.




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"A man and his son are driving in their car when they are hit by a tractor-trailer.

Photo via iStock.

(We were driving at the time, so of course this was the riddle he decided to tell.)

The father dies instantly.

The son is badly injured. Paramedics rush him to the hospital.

Photo via iStock.

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'I can't operate on him. He's my son.'

How is that possible?!"

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